Why Tony Stark is my hero
When I say the name Tony Stark to none Iron Man fans who are aware of thee character, the response is usually the same : “oh yeah, the billionaire guy”, or “that one with the big ego.” In short, they don’t know who Tony Stark is.
When a twitter account posted about Tony Stark being a possible villain in the Marvel universe, I felt sick to my stomach, because once again people were writing about my most beloved character without actually knowing him. They see through their ‘Captain America’ eyes, they see the money and the flash items and they never care to know about the man himself.
As a 22 year old girl with aspergers who knows nothing about science or mechanics, you’d probably wonder what I had in common with this character and why I related to him so much. Thing is, I took the time to actually understand this character and in turn he helped me understand myself. Tony Stark has been my biggest representation for a long time and with I’m, I feel less alone.
The biggest thing I related to was Tony’s childhood. His father was often emotionally detached and preferred to lecture Tony rather than show him kindness and support. Tony grew up with a lot of criticism and harsh words and he grew to expect that this would happen to him no matter what he did. Rather than show his dad how much the words hurt him, he covered it up with jokes and bad habits because I know only too well that if you let yourself feel that sort of pain, it will consume you.
Tony was often subjected to dominating personalities such as Obidiah and Steve. Obi betrayed him, hurt him and threatened those Tony cared about and made him feel like he was powerless. Steve didn’t even know Tony but instantly set to work berating him for everything he did and said. I can understand why Tony fought against Steve’s orders, his father and Obi had both made him feel unloved and powerless and here was another alpha male trying to take over. Feeling powerless whilst a bigger person screams, shouts or lectures you so that you feel really small sucks like hell and I wish I had Tony’s sarcastic and clever wit to fall back on.
When you strip away Iron Man and the expensive suits and sunglasses, and look at who Tony is as a person, you may understand why he owns my heart. He was raised by his butler, Jarvis, who no doubt was more of a dad than a mentor and who would have shown him some gentleness, so much so that Tony named his AI Jarvis. The AI, like the real Jarvis, is Tony’s best companion and I think his voice helps keep Tony grounded and stable. Tony also treats his robots as real beings, as if they are his children and it is adorable to watch. I understand why he surrounds himself with bots instead of people, because it is so much easier to trust bots than it is humans (except maybe when dum-e has the fire extinguisher).
Then there’s what he does for people he cares about. He gives Pepper full respect and believes in her, appreciates her and allows her to see past his walls. It broke my heart in Iron Man 3 when he finally admitted that he couldn’t sleep and wasn’t coping, because in his eyes was a look that said “I’m so sorry, I’m trying. I promise.” Then when she held him he was so grateful as if to say “thank you for staying.”
With Harley he gave the kid a redecorated home and better equipment because he believed how smart and creative Harley was and wanted the kid to have the best, to encourage him and not have him struggle. Then with Peter he became a full helicopter parent and made him a suit with full protection, such as a tracker so Peter would never get stranded or lost like when Tony was lost in Afghanistan, and a heater to keep him warm so that he didn’t have to go through what Tony went through in Iron Man 3. He even put an AI in Peter’s suit because having Jarvis and Friday in the Iron Man suit made things less lonely and gave him support and stability, and he wanted Peter to have the same. I also know for a fact Tony listened to every one of those messages Peter left for Happy.
Tony is a man who cares an incredible amount. I noticed how he was holding his arm after the Ferry Fiasco with Peter and his arm only goes numb when he’s in a stressful and anxious situation, that’s how worried he was about the kid. He also agreed to make weapons for the Avengers even though he’d promised he never would make weapons and it must have affected his anxiety and PTSD, but he did it anyway because his team needed him to do it. His team needed him for his mind, money and house and he gave it without complaint because he cared, but not once did he get thanks for it.
No, Tony is not perfect. Yes he has made mistakes as many people and heroes do. People think that Ultron is a valid argument but Tony only created Ultron because he was so afraid that he would be powerless to stop his family from dying, and as soon as it went wrong he felt so guilty and set about fixing his mistakes. Yes he messes up, but he always works hard to fix things. With civil war he cared about the people he was meant to protect and when they called for justice, he wanted to freely give it to them, because they weren’t rich men in suits or superheroes with god complexes, but every day people who looked up to Iron Man and believed in him. These are the people who mean a lot to Tony which is why he was willing to sign the accords for them. He was determined to keep the Avengers, his family, safe and together until they could figure out a way to amend the accords to suit everyone. Instead he was hurt and betrayed again.
Like Tony I have anxiety and a crappy past and really bad coping methods, and I can relate to the self depreciating mind set. However because I can see so much love and goodness in Tony Stark it has helped me believe in myself a bit more. As much as I love that Iron Man suit, I love Tony a lot more and he has got me through many sad times.
I don’ t think I’ll ever be able to say goodbye to Tony and am so scared that Avengers 4 will end with his death. He truly deserves a happy ending after all he has been through and he will forever be my hero.
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