king narcissus

24•libra•finally back on my bullshit

[king-narcissus]

Found out that im having a kid a couple days ago.

Im glad it took me this long. I found someone that I think would be a good mother. I've only met one other person that it could have been, and she has her own family now. I know she struggles and I still want to help. I wish I could ease her soul but its time I lay those foolish ambitions to rest. I've wandered far off that path a long time ago and I've lost my way back.

Im on a new path, and im excited. I've always dreamed of being the father that I, myself, never had. Im scared. The only other person I've ever loved is facing hardships that I will soon understand. I wish we kept in contact but I know its best we dont talk, lest we dissolve the foundations we've built for our own lives. Im nervous. I dont know what the future holds. Between my own parenting skills, the country we live, the overall state of the world and humanity. I can only hope I can do as much good as possible with my borrowed time.

I dont have many regrets. And I can really build something now. There's a reason things happened the way they did. I cant help to maintain the belief that I've been chosen. That theres something here I am supposed to do. I just wish it was written in the prophecy, a set of instructions for me to follow. But that's not how this works. Its up to me to figure out those instructions for myself and fulfill this unwritten prophecy. And it begins today. Im building something better. Against the norm. Im throwing myself into my creator and creating, myself, in my own image. My name may be forgotten in the storms of time, but my legacy will continue to shape a chosen people. And maybe, one day, society as we know it.

Ive got my work cut out for me. Its gonna take blood, sweat, and tears. But, if you follow me, there is a promised land on the other side. A future that only we can build. And, if you prefer a better, more simple life, where your decisions wont be so dire, than I urge you to join me. Message me, and ill help show you the way. I am building my own monument, a sort of church that isnt open to the public, only to ourselves, in our own home, where we may convene with the divine.

This temple will be built on a foundation of love, trust, respect, and most importantly, survival. We will worship the elder deity, not the widespread religions of the world, but the god that lives within us. The one true divine that makes us human. We will reconnect with earth, and praise the sun. This, is my purpose. I cannot promise that everything will be alright. I cannot promise that there will be peace. There my be a time that blood must be shed. But here, in the home of our lord, we can be rest assured that what we do is what we've been put on this earth to do. To do the right thing not just by us, but by all of humanity. Here, we will have something worth living for.

[burntbraincell]

We walked out of the restaurant and we weren't even standing that closely but that man sitting on the corner, he said we were a beautiful couple and it took everything in me not to break and not to correct him because it just felt so good to hear it and wish for a second it was true. You gave me a kiss on my cheek and a true hug, which I havent given someone in far too long, and you told me I was forgiven and my entire soul went quiet. I remembered my uncle saying "the worst they can say is no" and asked for a kiss. I saw you hesitate. I would've understood if you said no. I absolutely would've understood. I dont deserve it, and you aren't obligated to give it to me. But you did. And we parted ways. And you did what I remember so vividly, you paused as you drove by. And I did what I I always did, I felt an immense emptiness and I cried. I didnt sob, though I could FEEL those moments from the past even over a decade later, I just let the small, singular droplets fall down my cheeks.

I went to the store about 30 minutes later, and that man was still sitting there. And he said the most prophetic, poetic, spiritually fitting thing he possibly could have. He knew we were saying goodbye even though he couldn't hear us and couldn't see us, he felt the energy shift, he knew I was hurting, and he just kept telling me to listen to my heart and to cherish what we had had together even if it was over, and that I was glowing when I walked. And I regret not staying longer, I regret not bearing my soul to him because it felt like he understood and it felt like he understood because he was a complete stranger witnessing a complicated reunion after 9 years of not seeing each other at all and he SAW it. He saw my heart right there on my sleeve.

And it confirmed for me everything I already knew. Even though you are an absolute stranger to me now, even though I know you are a different person, and that Im still the same in many ways, and that in the universe that I exist in in this present moment, there is nothing I can do with you but deepen my complex feelings, I still love you. I still care about you more than I've cared about anyone that I wasn't bound to by blood, and even more than some of those. I would still travel halfway across the globe just to feel the deep, all-encompassing serenity that I feel in your presence. The overwhelming amount of nerves that would normally be debilitating to me that I can navigate through just for a piece of you. And it doesn't mean I won't ever find someone who gives me peace, grace, and love again, but I know now more than ever that it won't ever be the same as my love for you. Because a stranger could see it in 2 seconds of seeing me with you.

And thats okay. It made me realize you are right and that everything is okay.

[moniquill]

[the-library-alcove]

I have a story that’s topical; I’ve told it before on tumblr, but it’s topical to this and thus worth repeating.

Back around 2005, I ran into a Baptist missionary who spotted my kippah and basically took that as permission to attempt to missionize at me.

I defended myself, using the basics of the knowledge I have of Christian theology and texts that I learned specifically to fend off missionaries.

We went back and forth and back and forth, and he wouldn’t leave me alone for… oh, probably the better part of an hour.

And then…

Then this part is seared into my memory. I have nightmares about it.

He smiled at me and said that, with my knowledge of the Gospels, I am sure to be one of the Elect when the time comes.

I asked what the hell that meant.

And he told me. He told me in a tone of utmost sincerity–even envy, because to his belief system, it was a good and enviable thing…

Because to be one of the “Elect” is to be one of the 144,000 Jews who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior at the Apocalypse. This will happen when all of the Children of Israel have been Gathered in the Land of Israel; war will break out, the Assembled Jews will have the Gospels preached to us, and 144,000 Thousand–Twelve Tribes times Twelve Apostles times One Thousand–Jews will spontaneously convert to Christianity.

Once that occurs, all of the Jews die in the Apocalypse, but the Elect ascend to Heaven to be Jesus Christ’s personal escorts down to Earth for his Second Coming (the rest of the Jews go to hell for eternity, in case you’re wondering).

In short…

He told me that I existed to be a human blood sacrifice to bring back his god. I was not a person to him. I was nothing more than a means to that end.

And he was jealous. Jealous of the fact that he viewed my knowledge of his religion, something that I had learned specifically to fend him and his kind off, as proof that his religion was right and correct and inevitable. That in learning it, I had made myself more valuable to his worldview.

Jealous that, because I was more valuable, because I existed to die for his god, I would meet that god before him.

It was terrifying, to be told that I was to die… and he thought that it was a good thing.

This is how Evangelicals view death. Not as something to be avoided, but something to seek, something that is a positive, and not just for themselves… but for everybody.

They are the closest thing to a full-fledged Religion of Evil on the planet, and I say that without hyperbole.

[asgardian-viking]

When you guys say the US is being controlled by a death cult, you werent kidding!

[moniquill]

@mirrorfalls , your tags:

#I’ve said it in another post#But you can never quite forget religions like these#Were invented in a time when death often *was* the most you had to look forward to#When medicine was in its infancy and the laws of the day didn’t even pretend right came from anything but might#And your average man was juuuuust intelligent enough to know he didn’t want any part of it

Explanations are not excuses. The same conditions - lack of medicine, unpredictable violence, the threat of sudden or prolonged death - existed for most humans across most cultures for all of time. Most of them didn’t come up with death cults about it, and carry them into the modern era.

[brainscrems]

And also like. Very specifically Judaism, the religion christianity spawned off of, does not have an eternal heaven and hell. In fact, there is no universally accepted Jewish idea of an after life, because Judaism is about how one should live THIS life. Bc that’s what matters to us. This shit very much did not have to be there and, from the perspective of a non-believer, is there as a means of control because christianity in its modern form descends from being the state religion of the roman empire. Why would you give that excuse to a religion that specifically spawned from a religion that lacked those ideas?

[emtropi]

the alien when it bursts out of someone‘s chest:

[hjartasalt]

[toboldlynerd]

[king-narcissus]

Loving you is like holding my head underwater.

[yardsards]

i was hanging out with someone i had just met and i made reference to the fact that i'm a congenital amputee

and they were like "WAIT THAT'S REAL???"

and i was like HUH

and they were like "oh i have poorly managed psychosis and sometimes hallucinate that the people i'm looking at have the wrong amount of body parts. i just assumed i was hallucinating your hand the whole time i was talking to you"

deeply funny interaction of disabilities here lol

[everythingfox]

Everyone needs a short friend

(via)

[luckykittycolor]

[ooppo]

[technofinch]

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

[sandmandaddy69]

[sexysamosa-deactivated20211121]

calling tumblr 'tumblr dot com' is the equivalent of a parent calling their child by their full name when theyre angry

[earhartsease]

tumblr dorothy commercial you come down here right now

[godshideouscreation]

[thingsstingshouldsing]

Money fucking sucks. It distorts everything: relationships, decisions, timelines, who gets to feel safe and who doesn’t. It turns something like “home” into a math problem. That’s brutal, and unfair, and I hate it so much.

[selkiewizard]

Ah shit my bowling team has unionized

[selkiewizard]

They're all striking

[noah-wyles]

[freshpickle]

ANDY

[moonbean117]