billy, who protected his mama whenever his daddy hit her and always threw himself in front of her. billy, who did his best to make his mama smile and laugh whenever she was sad or hurt. the boy who cried nonstop for his mama after she left, begging for her to take him with her because daddy kept hitting him and pushing him and yelling at him even though he doesn't know what he did wrong. billy, who gave up after one day too long without his mother's phone calls.
billy, who hated his new step-mom and step-sister when neil introduced them. who hated susan when she always looked away while neil beat on him right in front of her. who hated himself for wanting her to protect him or just look at him after neil was done with him and tell him that it's going to be okay. billy, who hated max for being the child neil always wanted, constantly spoiled, smiled at, never laid a hand on. he wanted his dad to love him. not her. not susan. him. billy, who took the blame for all of max's wrongdoings and went to bed with bruises and frustrated tears in his eyes.
billy, who saw the way max's friends looked at him, how steve harrington looked at him, like he was a monster. a fuck up. a boy, who submitted when his sister forced him to with a bat between his legs, smiling because yes, this is familiar. a brother, who left his sister alone after that night and did whatever she asked him to without a fight because she had the power over him. she had neil.
billy, who was violated over and over again by some shadow that touched every bone in his body and took away his right to be. who nobody bothered to save after finding out what happened to him because billy didn't matter. billy had always been a monster; nothing changed. no one ever tried to save him. not his mother, not his elementary school teachers. not the police. not the neighbours. not his stupid sister and her stupid friends.
billy, who protected and protected and protected, but was never protected in turn. billy, who sacrificed himself for a little girl who brushed her thumb against his cheek and oh, when was the last time someone touched him like this. billy, who died protecting his stupid sister and her stupid friends.
billy, an eighteen year old little boy, who was buried in a town he hated, surrounded by people who hated him, with a name he hated engraved on his tombstone. whose grave nobody ever visited. whose cruel father roamed free. billy, whose abuser won. billy, who was used for evil even after death. billy, who only wanted to be seen.