There is No ‘One Way’ To Be A Black Woman
That may seem like an obvious statement to some, but these are words that I, and I’m sure many other black women feel the need to carry around with us.
Sometimes walking the world as a black woman can feel like walking around with a coat of armour to protect ourselves from the way the world views us, but also to hide. We find ourselves shrinking down as to not intimidate those around us, no matter how small we already are, no matter how small we are already expected to be, we always find a way to get smaller. Yet, black women are the ‘strong’ ones.
Flip back to any old TV show and it’ll show you the ‘sassy’ black friend who is always the shoulder to cry on. The friend who had no real problems of her own, but was perfect to come to so she could be angry for you. The friend you’d have to talk out of being aggressive, loud and irrational as if it was her nature, as if it was how black women were supposed to be. If any black woman were to stray from this archaic TV trope in the real world, you were no longer black enough.
Our blackness has been decided for us by people who look nothing like us and sold back to our community as if its the standard. There is no standard. There is no right way to be a black woman because black women cannot be defined.
The black woman you saw twerking on Instagram, the black woman you saw reading to herself on the bus, and the black woman giving a motivating valedictorian speech do not only all exist, but they can all be the same woman.
Every one is so caught up in telling black women how to be, they take no moment to find out who we are, and thats not only a disservice to us. We’ve seen the way black women rally around each other with unwavering support, we’ve seen the stories black women tell when given the opportunity to tell them, the lengths we go to when we finally get the chance to speak out.
We have been starved and silenced and its our turn to control the narrative. Its time to remind the world our feelings are valid, our reactions are human, and who we are is, and will always be, up to us. So be loud if you want to, or don’t. The decision is yours.
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