"like a man with no wisdom

and a soul with no king."

[kinglesssoul]

Hey so, this is an Erwin Smith RP blog intended for roleplaying Eruri but if there's anyone else who wants to write a thread with my Erwin, Levi or not, my DMs are always open ;)

I'm 25+ years old, lots of writing experience although my first language isn't English! Sadly I can't follow anyone back because this is just a silly sideblog but rest assured I am following back. Spiritually. :-( ❤️

_

avatar by Columbo - header by Cecilia Blomberg

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[soldiersvow]

The new position of Captain sits on Levi's shoulders awkwardly, despite how readily the people around him have taken to it. He knows there is acrimony; he hears the occasional rumour and bad-faith sentiment about his persona — The new Commander has pulled up the sewer rat to be his Right-hand Man, giving him titles and lavishing him with gifts. He doesn't need to have lived on the surface from childhood to understand how resentful people can be when they don't get what they have worked so hard to achieve — and then have to watch the same thing being given to someone they think so low of.

They all want to be in Erwin's good graces, as if that can elevate them somehow. ( As if that isn't the most dangerous place to be. ) Many of them were Erwin's comrades, fought side by side with him, a good number of them for far longer than Levi has. They feel it right to get rewarded for their bravery, skill and loyalty. Yet. It is Levi who now outranks them all. And it pisses him off to even think about it. As if rank fucking matters out there, as if a titan gives two shits who is the Captain and who is a squad member. They all die equally.

Levi also doesn't give a fuck about the funds. It brings him little happiness to know that Erwin has managed to squeeze the right people and get the right amount of coins from them. It seems ridiculous in the grand scheme of things to be playing at society and class when the titans are knocking on their doorstep, when people are in need, when so many of them had to die in order for others to live. They are on a brink of extinction and the nobles are still clutching their purses. It would make Levi's blood boil if Erwin wasn't talking about it with such — silly, fucking, juvenile joy.

"Yeah, it's good," Levi agrees because he knows Erwin needs him to. And he does agree. He understands that in order to achieve anything worthwhile, Erwin has to work the system that he is in. He is choosing the peaceful solution. Levi wouldn't have been so merciful as to 'ask', no matter how cunningly, for more funding. He thinks the chit-chat is redundant.

Erwin's hands overlaps his own, big and warm and sweaty from the journey, and Levi pauses and stares at them, not knowing what to do or how to respond. "We'll have this one," is all he says and there is something on the tip of his tongue. Something more he should say. He remembers the tin because he has seen it multiple times when he lived in the underground. He has seen it and wished to taste it, but he has also seen people die for it. Smugglers. Merchants. It was precious. And Erwin brought it for him. Just like that. He knows it is a gesture, and he wants to find a good way to show Erwin that he sees it; he understands. ( The strain is giving him a headache. )

A burning not sensation rises in Levi's chest. He is frowning, hard, and he knows he probably looks angry, but he is thinking. He is still staring at their hands, twisting his brain on how to respond in a way that Erwin would like; he hopes ( so stupid ) that he has read the situation correctly, but just when he touches on an answer, Erwin says something, and it makes him recoil — violently.

The tin bangs against the wooden floor.

"The fuck did you just say?" Levi barks, bristles, pulls back. He holds himself as if Erwin has burned him.

His words come as a hiss: "I'm not one of your perfumed nobles, I don't need to be fucking bought."

[kinglesssoul]

When Erwin's days were filled with forbidden stories told by his father's calm baritone, and before he learned a lesson about the value of silence, Erwin learned a lesson about patience. A specific kind brought by a dark alley and sharp claws.

It had been the easiest thing back then, to have sympathy for the scruffy ball of fur that stared at him whenever little Erwin passed by and offered part of his lunch. It never approached him, distrust plain as day in its yellow eyes, and yet, Erwin persisted. Day after day, week after week in that dirty and narrow street. A battle of stubborness between kid and cat.

He remembers the first time that he crouched there for an entire evening, cooked fish in hand, waiting for the creature to finish his staring contest and just walk closer. How quick his heart beated when said creature did exactly so, silent and catious steps and yellow eyes that eventually showed more curiosity than hostility.

He also remembers the sting of claws when it violently scratched him, spooked by something or someone Erwin couldn't even see. His lithe body fleeting and bumping loudly into boxes and trash, making Erwin yell and drop the food to the ground.

"Friendships aren't earned like that, Erwin," his father had said much later, while disinfecting his wounds and wiping off his tears. "Even a stray deserves honesty, don't you think?"

When the tin falls loudly and Levi immediately withdraws, Erwin swears he can see a flash of scared yellow eyes and sharp little fangs in the split of a second, gone as fast as it came.

"No, no, that's not—" Erwin stops himself quickly, discarding empty excuses but failing to find a suitable explanation, a deep frown forming on his forehead when the frustration of it reaches its peak. Always so full of words, and now he can't even conjure any when faced with the harshness of Levi's distress. He blinks twice, swallows once, and straightens his back just like when he's about to make a diplomatic statement to a room full of people.

"The position I put you in comes with benefits," he starts off, as composed as he can be, arms hanging on his sides and not knowing what to hold now that Levi's hand is gone. "I must be honest, there aren't many. Not nearly enough for what you deserve, but." Erwin's fingers twitch slightly, and he suppresses the urge to follow his Captain's steps. To eliminate the cold distance. "There's a pay raise, and more leave days, and it even opens the possibility of acquiring a small property at inner Rose. Things that not a lot of soldiers of our division can achieve in their years of service. I know," Erwin is quick to add, "I know you don't care about all that, of course. You've always been so..." Humble? Kind? No, no. Those words will just incense Levi further. "... practical," he finishes, lamely and with a subtle wince.

Definitely not the smoothest he's ever been, but if he doesn't try something now, Levi will surely give him hell for it later.

"I can't give those things to you yet. Our numbers remain in the red, Levi. I'm still putting out fires out there." He shakes his head, mouth a flat line. "But never mind all that. That's my duty, not yours. This was just..."

What, exactly? A gift for a friend? Mere compensation for his troubles? To keep him content? Pliant? Erwin stares at the fallen tin and thinks of all the rotten hands he had to shake to obtain it. Deep inside he knows how much Levi would've disapproved if he had seen it. The paths he had to go to get the special leaves and soap. The chemicals for Hange and their science. The supplies for the entire regiment. The fish for the cat.

Erwin's eyes return to Levi, registering his words, what they imply considering his upbringings, and he lets himself feel pure, unadulterated shame. Shame that seeps into his voice, making it less confident. Smaller. "I would never think of you that way."

[soldiersvow]

Levi rolls his eyes without actually rolling his eyes at Erwin's theatrics, but seeing how Erwin's shoulders slump as soon as they are alone does make his expression soften. A smile ghosts across his lips and then vanishes as he sets to work.

Erwin always has a shit time in Mitras, Levi needn't be a mind-reader to know that. And he knows that he hasn't taken the decision with the grace that a better person would have. He was bitter about Erwin going alone, and he didn't hide it at the time, but they both know that it wasn't due to lack of trust. Erwin doesn't do anything without having a logical, well-thought reason. Levi knows this. His faith in Erwin's judgement is unambiguous. It is he — Levi — who is confused, as if he were unsure what to do with his hands when there isn't a task he could put them to.

Ultimately, none of Levi's inner disarray is relevant. Erwin is back, and the world moves on. And so does Levi. He unclasps his gear, leaves it by the door, washes his hands in Erwin's wash-basin and ignores Erwin's taunts.

"The brats are determined," Levi begins the report, at Erwin's request, as well as the preparation of a kettle that he fills up with water from a pitcher and hangs it in Erwin's fireplace to boil. "They have stamina and courage. But lack technique. Most of them have dead relatives, and a few of them have come into direct contact with a titan. They were out there, came back and still decided to join the Scouts." Levi finds that equally stupid and admirable.

"They have a bone to pick," Levi says, and his voice drops. Erwin will know what it means; he will understand how revenge can cloud a person's judgement. Levi needn't explain more. He reaches for the tea, finds a brand-new tin in his hand, and pauses.

"Where did you get this?"

[kinglesssoul]

Erwin watches as Levi moves about with the same precision and care he puts into anything he does, their routine giving him a breather among the chaos that the culling's aftermath brought to them all. Many months have gone by since then, but Erwin still remembers the pulsating pain in his tendons after signing up hundreds of death notices day and night.

Erwin has always known his hands would be tainted with red, but he never imagined them to be drenched in it right at the beginning of his commandership.

He focuses on the dancing flames and the sound of boiling water, nodding silently as Levi gives his report. He agrees; this bunch do seem pretty promising despite their green status. With that type of grief, just a mere bone wouldn't even begin to satisfy their hunger. In another circumstances, Erwin would almost feel bad for taking advantage of it, knowing how effective vengeance is as fuel for their cause.

However, as much as their anger can spark a fire, it can also be the thing that will burn them in the end. It's a good thing he assigned Levi to training duty; he's always been the most sensible of them all, including Mike. Under his expertise and guidance, he's sure they'll soon become some of the finest soldiers the Corps will ever have so far.

The way that Levi doesn't seem to resent him for being given new responsibilities is also a big bonus, if Erwin can be honest.

"You'd be happy to know that I've secured more funding," he avoids the question as he approaches Levi, trying to assess some positive reaction on his blank features. "Maybe I'll need to take one or two trips more and there'll be enough for this semester's budget... But, nothing is worth waiting for when morale is low. The Corps has taken too many hits, we can't afford any more."

Perhaps it's the mania from not sleeping properly in more than 24 hours, the dreadful and fruitful endeavors he went through this past week, or just the juvenile high that comes from finally being able to spoil his Captain in the ways he'd always wanted to, but something compels him to hold Levi's hand between both of his. To look down and admire the expensive tin, now secured in Levi's strong fingers after a fun journey of blackmail and bribery. "I've brought your usual black leaves too, but… Well. I figured you'd like to try this one out first."

His palms heat up with the contact, tingling with the desire of more. Boundaries they've already crossed many moons ago, late at night in a dark and secluded inn in Mitras. "Call it an advanced payment, hm? For training the cadets so graciously."

[soldiersvow]

"Bullshit," Levi wants to say. If it were important, Erwin wouldn't have wasted precious time staring at the cadets from a distance. If there was an emergency, he wouldn't have sauntered towards Levi when it was obvious that the training session was finished for the afternoon and Levi was letting the rookies take a break. Pressed for time, Erwin would have sent for Levi through a recruit and waited for him in the office, nose-deep in maps and documents.

Bullshit, Levi thinks and doesn't say a word. He gives Erwin an unimpressed look even as all the trainees suddenly stand straighter as if they were trying to grow an extra inch just to impress the Commander, while said Commander is gently pawing at Levi's back.

Ah. Yes. So it is important. Just not Like That.

Whatever nags at Erwin's mind, it is important enough to risk approaching Levi from behind and putting a hand to the middle of his back while Levi is still alert and in full gear. Erwin is lucky that Levi has felt him approach. Really, Levi has noticed him a while ago, but assumed Erwin was just quietly supervising, and so he paid him no mind.

Had a shit time at Mitras? Levi's eyes chide and jeer, which looks identical to all of his other expressions with only Erwin and perhaps Hange being able to tell the difference. Levi would like to mouth at Erwin in more ways than one, but they are watched, so neither disobedience nor ——— will do.

In a display of casual Levi-esque adherence, Levi nods, barks one more order at the fresh Scouts and lets Erwin lead them out of the training field and into the building.

The clouds are beautiful today, and Levi casts one last look at the sky before he follows Erwin through the hallways.

"Yes? Get on with it? What's more important than prepping the brats?" Levi asks as soon as the door closes. He would dearly love to wash up before dinner, but if Erwin has a report, he may have to sit through the meal like a sweat-pickled . . . pickle.

[kinglesssoul]

During the brief time they lock eyes out in the open, Levi's mercurial stare seems to suddenly shine with such defiance that it almost makes Erwin's impassive mask break into a boyish grin. Such display of camaraderie wouldn't do well in front of the cadets, though. Among the veterans, perhaps. In the aftermath of a succesfull expedition, most likely. Bellies full of liquor and abundant laughter in their mouths as they thank the Walls for surviving another day.

After nodding approvingly at the tired recruits and memorizing their youthful faces one last time, Erwin turns around and leads Levi towards his office. His steps unhurried as they walk through the fields and hallways, greeting politely at whoever soldier stops in their way to salute them.

The click of the door closing behind Levi makes Erwin's shoulders drop an inch, finally turning to face his Captain with a mild smile and a raised eyebrow.

"Good evening, Levi. It's good to see you. Oh, me? I'm doing well, thank you for asking," he remarks dryly, all in good nature while he takes off his coat and places it on the couch. He's already got a fire going in the hearth, courtesy of the fresh wood that Erwin suspects Levi left recently. Probably during one of his cleaning rampages, given the fact that his office looks oddly immaculate and not dusty as it usually is after days of disuse. "Can you put on the kettle, please? I would like to hear what happened in my absence. An unofficial report, if you will."

There's an itch on Erwin's palms that urges him to get closer and just ruffle Levi's feathers a bit more, but he suppresses it in favor of arranging their usual tea set. This time, though, he sneakily takes a new tin can out of his travel bag, full of exotic leaves that could only be purchased in a hidden store inside Sina. A gift for Levi to find.

"Unless, of course, you prefer to go back to said brats and train them a bit more before dinner?"

[kinglesssoul]

@soldiersvow

Erwin observes the recruits fly across the skies with a private smile, enjoying the way Levi's barking orders make them straighten their backs and sharpen their features, undoubtedly wanting the approval of their strict Captain. How he has missed this. Being at Mitras for a whole week, bored out of his mind between parties and meetings, there's nothing quite like listening to Levi's commands from afar. He's certainly the sweetest sight for sore eyes, after all that pleasant fakeness at the core of the Walls.

Erwin just hopes he isn't so... cross with him after not being able to take him to this particular trip. He remembers how displeased Levi seemed, even if he hid it well beneath his unimpressed stare.

When the soldiers are done with their training and taking big gulps of water out of their flasks, Erwin finally approaches from behind, putting a careful hand on Levi's middle back. A calculated risk.

"Levi", he greets him, his steady voice not betraying the childish giddiness inside. "My office, if you please. It's important."

[futchlings]

"incurious" still GOAT insult. You could be better but you're not. You could learn but you won't, and for no good reason, just a base dispositional apathy. Get fucked

[depsidase]

[gravesecret]

Happy Birthday, Erwin. <3 Seems like all I want to draw these days is Erwin being fed by Levi. 😅

[twinsfawn]

baby i could treat you so good you just have to get past my strange and off-putting demeanor and my kubrick stare and my inability to behave like a human and the 40 layers of icy fortress walls i have up and answer my riddles three

[akiangsl]

I dont like uncertainty i need to know everything now

[abyssaldyke]

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

[soldiersvow]

“Newborns can't read. You are aware of this, right?”

The left corner of Levi’s lips quirks ever so slightly in faint amusement.

He can appreciate a good comeback — especially one that knocks the air from Erwin’s lungs, if only ever so briefly. It is so like Erwin to have an answer for everything. A solution or a smartly crafted response that plays on the opponent’s feelings. Erwin is an endless well of eloquent words and undying convictions, and Levi admires it as much as he enjoys watching it challenged.

If Nile has any upper hand, it doesn’t last long before Erwin is back in the saddle, barely tilted off his high horse.

A whisp of smoke from someone’s cigarette wafts past Levi’s nose, and he is grateful to take the camaraderie inside. He falls into step next to Erwin, flanking his left side in comfortable silence. He is attuned to the tension, or the lack of it, in Erwin’s body, and the comradely atmosphere sets Levi at ease. He determines that Nile is unlikely to become a target any time soon. His high rank and his apparent history with Erwin place him somewhere into the section of ‘tolerable’ on the long list of names Levi keeps. And if, by some unfortunate strike of misfortune, he ever did cross to the wrong side of Erwin’s radar, it is likely that Erwin would deal with him on his own rather than send a middle man — if the easy and respectfully teasing way they speak to each other is anything to go by.

By the time they enter the swarm of opulence, Erwin is back to his stiff and sharp analysis; the tone of his voice sets even Levi on edge. He glances briefly at Nile, then at Erwin, gauging the unspoken between them. He gives credit to Nile for having the decency to look guilty when he shuts Erwin down and retreats, and the invisible threat Levi has been sensing like a titan’s fist around his body tightens.

He doesn’t let his eyes drop from Erwin until they begin to mingle and Erwin passes him a glass.

Their fingers brush briefly during the exchange. Levi doesn’t think twice about it. One look into Erwin’s eyes, and he knows what to do — it has been fairly easy, considering. He follows. He focuses. He —

Stands impassively while Erwin sets his warm hand on Levi’s shoulder and spins bullshit about his prowess to anyone willing to listen. Levi tolerates it because it means people rarely get the chance to ask him any questions, and he is left to sip his liquor in more or less adequate and bearable peace.

“Well, he's rather short, isn't he? Can he talk?”

Levi scowls. He scoffs and, having glared at the offender long enough to make them squirm, utters a single word: “No.” Then returns to gazing idly at the milling kaleidoscope of fabrics and colours.

Ah, so this is how it looks when people live comfortably enough to reach old age, he thinks, noting the greyish hair and deepening wrinkles of the many attendants. He isn’t used to seeing men and women show signs of middle-age, let alone seeing how their spine begins to curl when they become grandmothers and grandfathers. He has only ever seen a young body deformed by either illness or a titan, so this array of ageing nobles is somewhat new to him.

Erwin’s voice drones above Levi and, for once, rarely, Levi finds himself tuning it out.

Erwin’s fingers pushing into Levi’s flesh are enough to connect him to his commander’s orders and wishes. He observes the surroundings instead, pausing on a few old men in military uniforms, bearing medals of honour which the scouts often receive only posthumously. The disparity between what he is used to, what he knows and has seen of the world and what he is seeing now is so vast and nauseating he knocks back the last of his drink, puts the glass aside and scowls harder, frightening a group of children that have been whispering and pointing in his direction. They are the only humans shorter than he at this blasted event.

Levi cannot fathom how some of the women even move in the frilly dresses they’re donning. It seems uncomfortable just to look at them waddle around, wrinkled skin spilling from their cleavages. He watches the way their hands, adorned with useless jewellery, touch and grope, and is secretly glad for the clean and steady hand on his shoulder that ensures nobody but Erwin gets near him.

“How are you faring?”

“Like shit,” Levi answers truthfully when Erwin moves them aside.

Erwin’s hand has now slid to the small of Levi's back, and Levi grinds his jaw as he raises his scowl towards the blue — like the sky, like the horizon that Erwin loves to stare at so much. The heat in his eyes matches the passion he shows when he stares ahead, at something Levi cannot dream to understand.

Sometimes, when Erwin looks at Levi, he has the same insane, piercing fire in his eyes. Levi attributes it to the mission and alcohol. He doesn’t bring attention to the warmth that spreads over his back from the touch, and most certainly doesn’t think about the size of Erwin’s palm.

“They’re just as obnoxious as the titans. Same stupid grins on their faces. If I can manage one, I can the other,” he reassures, surprising even himself with how steady and softly discreet his voice sounds. He has half a mind to snap at Erwin for leading him around like a puppet, but something in Erwin’s expression, the tilt of his lips, makes Levi reconsider. He finds himself stepping closer to the warmth. His shoulder touches Erwin’s bicep, and the warm scent of his perfume slithers pleasantly into Levi’s nose.

His gaze never lets go of Erwin’s as he licks his lips, then parts them to say something — but just then, a shrill scream in the background crashes through their bubble; it makes Levi twitch. Both his hands fire towards his waist, fingers wrapping around nothing where the handles of his swords would usually be. The unpleasant, grating voice spills into laughter, like nails on a chalkboard. Levi’s face sours.

“Tsch.” He steps back, shoulders tense and posture on guard. “The food better be worth it,” he huffs; it is an empty statement, as Levi has never been picky about his meals.

At the dinner table, they sit next to each other, which is to be expected, but Levi is glad for it nevertheless. He seats himself and scans the room. Three doors, a line of windows, thirty-three people, sixteen on each side of the table with Zackly at the head of it. The table is long and lined with dishes the rich call entrées. The children, the few that have been milling around, are ushered to a separate room.

Zackly stands up and holds a speech about preserving humanity. He is full of shit, but the nobles and brass seem to swallow it, or perhaps they don’t really care. Perhaps, they aren’t who the speech is for. Levi notices Zackly looking in Erwin’s direction. Again and again.

Levi sits at attention in his chair, ready to spring to action. He briefly wonders if Erwin brought him here to cut the hydras’ many heads off while they’re clumped together. He wouldn’t put it past Erwin to stage a coup right here. It is the perfect set up, with everybody of importance gathered neatly in a line. ( But then why spend agonising hours teaching Levi the art of fine dining? )

No matter. It isn’t much of a question of whether Levi is here to kill, and more one of whether Erwin thinks this is the time.

And so he sits. Sips. Occasionally glances at Erwin and, on the less enjoyable occasions, makes brisk, impolite conversation with the person on his other side, which happens to be a young noble woman with too many questions for her own good.

“Your hands don’t look like those of a soldier to me; they’re quite dainty, if I may say so myself. Look.” She places her hand next to Levi’s on the table, and Levi awkwardly withdraws his.

“What of it?”

She just giggles. “They say you’re from the below. And you are as crass as I would have expected, but you don’t exactly look it—.”

Levi feels her eyes on him, studying him like he’s a puzzle to be figured out. He grinds his teeth.

“Hm. Yeah.”

He swallows the ‘how so?’ lest it provokes her to further conversation, but even a grunt for a response doesn’t deter her.

“So how big are the titans? As big as the buildings in Mitras? My father told me that he will build me a castle big enough so that no titan could ever penetrate it — to which I replied that I would have rather died in the jaws of one than to live a life so isolated from the world, and then—.”

Levi casts an unpleasant, pleading glance at Erwin as if to say: If not kill all of them, perhaps just this one?

“Your father is an idiot. And so are you,” Levi snaps, losing his patience. “Are you blind? The walls are right there. Be glad for them.”

[kinglesssoul]

There’s intention in the way that Erwin’s hand molds itself on the narrow space of Levi’s back, no matter how much Erwin tells himself otherwise. A few pairs of eyes follow them as they have their private meeting; the Commander can feel their inquisitive gaze, but he doesn’t dwell on it. To parade Levi around the room has its strategic purpose, and fortunately for them, it has already given them good results. Stories of heroic achievements to inspire awe and make the coins roll out of their pockets. Promises of a better tomorrow where The Walls are back to their eternal glory.

A warning to any noble who might still think they could pull off the same tricks as Nicholas Lovof once did. Erwin’s hand moves upwards to rest on the strong expanse of Levi’s upper back, palm caressing his spine in such a casual movement it would be easy to ignore. It’s a well-known secret that the current Commander of the Survey Corps had enough influence to turn the assassin hired to kill him into his right-hand man, but it’s still doesn't hurt to remind these people of that from time to time. 

You do play favorites after all, Erwin Smith.

“Your presence tonight has been invaluable, Levi. Thank you.” Erwin nods at him, the exchange somewhat common for them in the middle or after a missión well accomplished. What differs now is the warmth seeping into his bones as they lock eyes and stay close to each other. A small pocket of privacy amongst chaotic opulence. The deep displeasure seems to bleed out of Levi’s face for a moment, and maybe it’s the alcohol that’s speaking now, but Erwin cannot focus on anything else but the way Levi brushes against him. Such an innocent touch must be an accident. Surely it’s a coincidence, the way his gaze falters just for one second, one ridiculous second, absolutely distracted by the pink tongue that licks those pouty lips, rosy tinted with liquor and so, so very… Tempting— 

Erwin’s hand is drawn back immediately at the high-pitched scream, wandering mind coming back at once. He only gives Levi a small, tight smile as he gestures to the adjacent room where their dinner is being served, and while all guests begin to walk towards it and take their respective seats, only then Erwin allows himself a moment to notice the fluttering in his chest before compartmentalizing the feeling away.

The heat on his palm takes more time to fade. 

Zackly’s voice spills false hope to the room, a decorated speech that falls shallow on the guests around the table. Erwin is familiar with the words; he’s spoken them himself multiple times before to groups of soldiers, to inspire honor and optimism within the goal they all share. Erwin says it’s all about tactical charisma. Levi says it’s about being a sneaky, conniving bastard.

This speech doesn’t inspire anything at all. On the contrary. With the way the Commander-in-Chief keeps throwing glances at him, there’s a heavy stone settling in Erwin’s stomach, making it more difficult to swallow the food and drinks as the dinner progresses. He can practically see Mike sniffing the air, muttering “bad omen” with a voice low as thunder. On his side, Levi’s tight muscles tell the same story. There’s darkness ahead, but still invisible. Unpredictable. 

What’s not unpredictable, however, is his Captain reaching his limit and spitting insults out loud. Honestly, Erwin is surprised he held on as long as he did. It’s bad timing that the fish in his mouth gets stuck in his throat right at that moment, and while Erwin tries to swallow it with the help of some water he can see —in dramatic slow motion— how the face of the young noble woman changes into one of deep offence, frown in place and mouth parting, ready to say something that will surely incense Levi further— 

“Glad?” Another noble woman pipes in —Marina Becker, Erwin’s mind supplies. Widow, three kids—, scoffing at Levi’s words. “They’ve been utterly destroyed! How long do we have before Sina falls too?”

A white haired man chimes in —Frances Neumann. Wife and five kids, a mistress in Orvud district—, rolling his eyes and gesticulating carelessly with a hand. “Who cares? The beginning of the end is already here! Have you not seen all the refugees flooding our streets and stealing our supplies?”

“Honestly, the Survey Corps busy themselves with outside pests when the pest has already entered!” Becker exclaims, her tone full of disdain as she scowls at Levi. “You should be glad to have a job at all—”

“—What Levi meant to convey,” Erwin quickly cuts in, having successfully swallowed his food right before the conversation escalates any further. “was that we ought not to bother ourselves with the uncertainty of the future.” His leg presses against Levi’s, a warning touch that says be quiet. It ignites the same heat he felt earlier, but it’s easier to ignore now when there’s a tense situation to placate. “Reclaiming Wall Maria must be a collective effort. The Survey Corps…”

It doesn’t take too much effort to divert people’s attention with more ornamented words, and by the time the conversation turns into nonsensical laughter, the dinner is already coming to an end and there aren’t any more jabs thrown directly at Levi. Erwin can handle the mocking, teasing and spite just fine, he’s had the training for it. But he absolutely sympathizes with the loss of patience; he wouldn’t blame Levi for it. 

In fact, he ought to reward him for the awful evening he’s had to endure for his and the Corps’ sake. While the guests get up from the table and start mingling again, drinking various digestifs and other hard liquors, Erwin asks a waitress for two cups of tea. “The best quality you have, if you would be so kind,” he requests, a charming smile plastered on his face. Honestly, even the most simple leaves would taste better than the ones they get back at the barracks. Erwin just hopes that the warm liquid will soothe Levi’s temper for just a little bit longer— and maybe, hopefully, his as well.

“Commander Smith.”

There’s a certain edge in Darius Zackly’s voice that makes Erwin stand straighter, impassive face hiding the way his stomach turns in an unpleasant manner. Call it instinct. The same pang of anxiety that’s been following him since they left Trost. “Sir.” He tries to find some sort of clue on the older man’s expression, unsuccessfully. In the corner of his eye, he sees Nile Dok and Dot Pixis nearby, their eyes focused on their interaction. Needless to say, it unsettles Erwin immediately.

“Brief meeting at the library, east hall. Come.” Zackly’s piercing gaze falls on Levi for a second before returning to Erwin. If Erwin were a tad more childish, he would’ve stood in between and stomped his foot. “Just you.”

After nodding and saluting, Erwin follows the men with his calculating eyes, silently assessing the way Nile’s hands are fidgeting with his coat and Pixis’s face isn’t nearly as red with alcohol as usual. He doesn’t even notice when the waitress comes back with their steaming cups of tea. “If I don’t come back in one hour, come find me,” he murmurs, placing his drink on a table nearby, already forgetting about it. But before he goes after the other commanders, Erwin turns to his Captain one last time with a stern expression. 

“Don’t start any trouble, Levi. Please.”

[kinglesssoul]

Stupid. Big. Tired. Stubborn. Driven. Passionate. . . Idiot. He is everything to the Scouts and he doesn’t even know it; the whole of humanity rests on those worn, wide shoulders and he just carries it. Every day. Levi knows the weight of those responsibilities; he shares as many as he can, but, ultimately, the decisions are Erwin’s and Erwin’s alone. So is the fallback of them.

Levi’s upper lip curls with irritation as he picks up the blanket from Erwin’s bed, unfolds it and throws it over Erwin. His broad back is arched over the massive wooden desk, cheek plastered on documents, ink smudging one side of Erwin’s face, his sleeve, wrist and fingers. He is holding a pen that leaks ink onto a pile of documents he didn’t get to finish. When Levi reaches to remove it, it slips out without resistance from the loose grasp.

Seeing Erwin like this, unguarded, asleep; it is a privilege that comes only to those who are silent enough on their feet to successfully sneak upon Erwin’s high-alertness. Essentially, Levi is the only one. And he is glad for it; he wouldn’t want anybody to see Erwin unravelled with exhaustion, open and vulnerable.

Levi’s lungs and throat expand and narrow simultaneously. His chest feels too large; the air he breathes is hot. His mouth is dry. He is full of something large and unnamed, something he doesn’t quite understand. It discontents him. His jaw aches and he realises he has been standing there, staring with gritted teeth.

An urge compels him to reach out again — towards the fine blond hair that fall over Erwin’s forehead. He looks peaceful — peace makes him beautiful. Levi wants — What is it that he wants?

Shit.

Changing course, Levi grasps Erwin’s shoulder, firm but not harsh.

“Erwin,” his voice is low, not a whisper. Like a ghost speaking from the darkness. “There’s still time till sunrise. Go to bed.” We need you strong tomorrow. Levi feels selfish as he thinks, I need you strong.

The expanse of water that's lapping on the shore is so vast that it would be rational to feel intimidated, even scared by it. But Erwin is ten years old and fearless. Always up to the challenge since a very young age.

There's black ink dripping from his hands and into the water, swirls of darkness mixing up with the blue in a beautiful dance. Erwin's heart flutters anxiously at the sight. Was he writing something just now? He didn't mean to corrupt this lake with his carelessness— no. Not lake. Something bigger. Bigger than the Walls themselves, Father had said. Something he cannot name, not even when he practically tastes salt in the back of his tongue.

The blue is neverending. It goes as far as his eyes can see, and on the other side there's a song waiting for him. Somebody is calling his name. Erwin. Erwin. It sounds like Father. The gentle, albeit exasperated tone of his voice, telling him to put down his books and go to sleep. Erwin wants to get to the other side, to step into the water and follow Father's voice, but he soon realizes, with a pang of fear in his chest, that his legs aren't working.

"Erwin."

The reflection of a bird appears on the inky water, and Erwin looks up to see a small crow flying in circles above him, his shiny feathers almost sparkling as it dances with the wind. Suddenly, Erwin isn't afraid anymore. The sun's warmth hits his back pleasantly, like a parent's hug. The ink dripping down is no longer of concern. He calls to it, feels his throat vibrate even when there's no sound coming out. The crow is staring back, sharp but patient eyes pinning him down, descending from the skies and placing itself on his shoulder. Erwin watches, fascinated as it finally opens its strong beak, ready to speak—

"Erwin."

Erwin wakes up and it's not a pair of beady eyes who greet him but a pair of steel ones, nimble fingers touching him instead of claws. It takes a few seconds to process Levi's words, but once his brain catches up with his body, his face grimaces in pain as the multiple kinks in his neck and back let themselves know. The ink on the paper and his hands, the blanket draped on his back warming him up. Father's voice disappearing so fast from his memory he doubts he dreamed about it at all. The crow...

Erwin's eyes are wide and curious as he peers at Levi's moonlit face. Wonders if he stares long enough, he will eventually grow black wings and caw.

There's so much he could say, so much he could feel. Embarrassment for being found like this. Relief for being found like this by Levi. Gratitude for the care that he exudes in that firm but gentle way of his. Always watching. Attentive. Thoughtful. Kind.

Erwin barely registers his own hand enveloping the one that's on his shoulder, squeezing it gently as he nods and stands up in slow motion, joints popping in protest for being stiff many hours in a row. In a few hours the weight of reality will fall on him again. The ruined papers will be in the trash, the stains of ink will vanish from his skin, his hair will be combed back neatly and his face will be clean shaved. He will look at Levi and his other subordinates, confident voice cutting through the air with orders and instructions that reek of death.

For now, in the quiet of his room and with Levi's watchful presence, he's just a tired man, walking towards his bed like a docile child whose mother just sent him to sleep. But before falling face down on the mattress and succumbing once again to his subconscious, he has the initiative to move one of the chairs —the one that Levi has used before to sleep in— next to the bed.

An open invitation to stay.

And if he also scoots over to make space for another body to lay next to him, well. He could always say that his head was full of drowsiness when he gave Levi the chance to choose.

[writingraccoon]

Love the word "also". I have more things to say

[cannibalchicken]

[objektum]

There's something quite charming about relatively small objects that are way heavier than they look. ooohh you're one dense little freak aren't you