I know no-one looks at my tumblr. It’s why i log in so rarely. I'm trying hard to keep a positive vibe going. It's a conscious decision, because when everything is so overwhelmingly negative, I want to be actively putting positivity out into the world.
Today’s leading to a rant though. Don’t worry. It’s not about Covid, or the app they’re asking us to download on the Island, or how much of a moron Boris is.
Can we talk about the coverage surrounding Adele?
I’m a fan of Adele. I like her. I enjoy her music. I enjoy her sense of humour too. Her Glastonbury set had me in stitches. Am I die hard fan? Nah. Not really. But I’ll willingly admit I think her albums are bangers, and she deserves every plaudit she’s ever won.
So when I woke up this morning, and saw her trending all over social media, I was curious. New album maybe? Maybe she cranked out an EP of topical anthems whilst on lockdown. (Hello from the QUARRENNNTTIIIINNNNEEEEEEE)
Nope. She’s lost weight apparently. Good for her. Her body, her choice. Whatever she’s doing, as long as she feels better about herself, I’m all for…
…But I want to talk about the language people are using around this. And unlike half of the pundits that TV have dragged out of quarantine, I actually have some salient point to make here.
Why has it taken up until now for the media to acknowledge that she’s a beautiful woman? Only after she’s shed half of her body weight with aid of nutritionists and personal trainers. Was she not beautiful before? Please, come at me with your half-baked takes. I’d love to hear why her appearance even matters? Frankly she was releasing classic album, after classic album, Could belt it out like a motherfucker, dominated the charts for the better part of a decade, based solely on the strength of her abilities as a songwriter. On top of all that, she set fire to the rain, Which MAY I REMIND YOU, is made of water. Do you have any idea how hard it is to set fire to water?
Is the narrative here talking about how she’s a capable, confident, successful woman? Nope. Once again, society has reduced someone to their clothing size.
Cards on the table time, I’m a larger guy. Im aware of why this is such a personal thing for me. I struggle a lot with my relationship with my body, and have done for a LONG time. I was skinny as a kid, and shortly after I started high-school, my body shape began to fluctuate wildly. I wasn’t too surprised, the general genetic make-up of the males in my family has been described as ’Stocky’. One person referred to us as ‘A line of blokes genetically bred to be rugby players’. That’s one of the nicer comments, so I’ll take that. The moment I started growing a belly, peoples attitudes instantly changed. I became the butt of a lot of jokes. I rolled with it for a while. Im pretty chill about such things. When you hear a joke often enough though, it starts to plant seeds in your brain.
There were a lot of instances that I won’t talk about. Honestly, If I documented all of them, we’d be here for years. There’s three that really stand out. The first was when I was 13, and three kids held me down and smacked me in the face with a cake. It was hilarious apparently. Watching a fat kid’s face get smashed in, nose bleeding through the icing and sponge.
In The second was 15. I was on a bus. Someone spat in my face, and then wanted to know why I didn’t swallow.
The third was at a house party when I was about 18/19. Someone asked me if fucking me would be like having a go on a bouncy castle. Y’know, cause I’m so big and all...
Thing is, I’m not even that big. I mean, Having had it drilled into me since a kid, I’m aware that by acceptable standards, I’m HUGE, but there are people bigger than me.
I even joke about it on-stage nowadays. I talk about the heckles I get. I almost wear it like a suit of armour. Because if I can get in there first, you can’t fucking use it against me.
So forgive me when I get angry hearing some interchangeable celebrity reporter on ‘Good Morning Britain’ give his two cents on the subject, like he’s ever had to deal with body image issues. You have NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE HERE. Fucking Nothing.
So here we are again. It’s drilled into us once again that ultimately you’re only real worth is how you look. You could have arguable the greatest discography of modern music? It doesn’t matter because you just so happen to wear an XL pair of jeans.
Have a little sensitivity folks. When you talk about Adele ‘Waving Goodbye’ to the person she used to be, you’re inherently telling the people like the before picture that they’re not ideal. That they don’t matter unless they she’d a few pounds. You’re reinforcing the reasons they don’t have the confidence to pursue certain activities, or Why they’re single. You’re confirming the world view of every bully that ever got a cheap laugh from the class.
I thought we all agreed a few months ago to #BeKind? Or did that trend vanish the moment the press had some papers to flog? I guarantee you, at least ONE of your friends has been made to feel uncomfortable in their skin. Some of them might even genuinely hate themselves for it.
Try being a little kinder folks. Or don’t. What the fuck do I know? I’m just the kid with a broken nose and a facefull of icing…
