Summary: Bucky’s girlfriend reminisces about their relationship while he is on a long mission. She also recalls how one member of the Avengers tried to bring her down.
Characters: Bucky Barnes, named OFC, Sharon Carter, Sam Wilson
Warnings: Body shaming, self esteem issues, bullying behaviour, gaslighting.
Author notes: Set post-FATWS. Captain America 4 and Thunderbolts* have not happened. Instead, the Avengers were restarted with Sam and Bucky as the leaders. This happens a couple of years after that. A certain MCU woman character is the antagonist.
📚 ☕️ 🥙
It had been two weeks since most of the team went on the mission. Two weeks since I last spoke to Bucky. Two weeks since we last made love. We had only been living together for six months, six glorious months where I finally believed that I found a diamond in the rough. I was in love and with everything he said and did, I believed he was falling in love with me.
I'm not an Avenger. I'm nothing special, just an ordinary woman who was doing an ordinary job of working in a used bookstore in New York, one of two jobs I held: the other transcribing doctor's audio notes into a readable file, then uploading it into the healthcare database. I could do it from home, which suited me fine. One morning, as I was working at the bookstore, I became aware of the most beautiful man I've ever seen glancing at me as he looked at some books. Our eyes met and I felt a pull to his blue ones unlike any other connection I've ever had with a man. I smiled; he smiled back, then he smiled again when he brought his small stack over to buy the books he had chosen.
"Nice selection," I said, as I rang them through.
I looked at the hardcover illustrated one about the horse Seabiscuit. I thought it was an unusual choice, although it was a good book. He noticed my attention on it.
"I actually saw Seabiscuit race," he said. I looked at him strangely. "I'm Bucky Barnes. I was a young man then." He placed a gloved hand on the book cover. "It brings back good memories."
"You are really him," I stated. "You're different than you seem on TV. You're smiling, for starters."
He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the media. Sometimes I feel as if they're waiting for me to screw up so they can point the finger and say I should never have been pardoned." He shrugged and looked around. "A bookstore is one of my safe places."
"$25.67, please. I've never seen you here before."
He offered his bank card and placed it on the terminal. "I only just found it this morning, but I think I'll be here more often."
Producing a cloth bag out of his pocket, he held it open while I slid the books and receipt into it. He nodded his head and turned to go to the door then looked back.
"What's your name?"
"Robyn."
He smiled again, his almost perfect white teeth showing briefly. "It's nice to meet you, Robyn. I'll see you next time."
That was how we met and true to his word, the next time was five days later, when he returned with his cloth shopping bag. I heard the bell on the door ring and got up from where I was rearranging a shelf. He was there at the end of the aisle.
"Hi, you're back," I said, saying the first thing that came to mind.
"I am. I finished the books. The Seabiscuit book was good. Do you have other sports books that might interest me?"
I smiled. "Well, I took the liberty of looking you up on the internet." He raised his eyebrows. "Not the bad stuff. The good stuff from before the war. You were a boxer." He nodded. "There's a book called The Sweet Science by A.J. Liebling. It was published in 1949, after you were declared dead, but it's considered one of the best books about boxing around."
I walked behind the front desk and opened the cupboard, pulling out a stack of books. Finding the boxing book, I put it on the counter for him. He smiled that brilliant smile again and picked it up, reading the back cover, then opened it and scanned the first few pages.
"That looks good. What else do you have there?"
"You'll like this one, even though most of the story happens after the war. It's called The Boys of Summer. It's about the Brooklyn Dodgers until the 1955 World Series. There's some criticism that it's too worshipful in tone but for a loyal fan of the Dodgers it's supposed to be an excellent read."
His eyes lit up and he picked it up, reading the back, then the first few pages of the first chapter.
"You're batting 2 for 2 so far, sweetheart," he said, then he looked at me. "Sorry, bad habit. I know women now don't care for those nicknames."
"I don't mind," I smiled back. "It reminds me of my grandpa." He made a face at me, which made me laugh. "I'm not saying you're old enough to be my grandpa because it's true that you are. You're just from a different time, that's all. It doesn't offend me."
The next book was The Natural, by Bernard Malamud. I described it to him, telling him it was made into a pretty decent movie as well. Sticking with baseball, I showed him Shoeless Joe, by W.P. Kinsella, and described the plot.
"They made a movie out of that called Field of Dreams," I said. "Whenever I'm home and it comes on, I watch it with my dad. Even though there are differences from the book it makes me cry every time." I put the final book in front of him. "This is No Cheering in the Press Box. The editor interviewed 24 sportswriters who were active between World War I and World War II. They basically just talk about the memorable sporting events and athletes they wrote about. Oh, and there was a movie about Seabiscuit based on the book you bought but the book was better, in my opinion."
He sifted through the five books then pushed them all towards me. "Ring them up. I'll take them all."
I scanned the barcode on the back of each book through as he watched me.
"You're not full time here," he noted.
"No," I replied, shaking my head. "I have another job that's almost full time, but I do it at home. This one gives me spending money. New York's expensive."
"Yeah, it is, but I still like the energy," he answered. "How much do I owe you?"
"$54.35." He put his cloth bag on the counter, and I packed the books while he placed his bank card on the terminal. "I hope you like them."
"I'm sure I will. If you want to pick out some books on science and technology for next time I would appreciate it. I'm still trying to catch up on what I missed."
It looked like he was going to ask me something else then he nodded politely and left the store. I went back to rearranging that shelf, then a few moments later heard the bell on the door ring. Just as I started to rise, he was there, offering me a hand up. It was a nice gesture and I thanked him. He stood awkwardly for a moment then took a deep breath.
"If you're not busy sometime I would like to have coffee with you, if you want, and you're not busy yourself. I can imagine two jobs keep you busy but I found it easy to talk to you and I just don't like going through the dating apps and judging people based on a photograph. If you don't, it's okay."
His voice trailed off and he looked so vulnerable for a long moment.
"I would like that, too, except I'm a tea drinker," I said. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at my schedule. "I'm free at 5 today. We could make it drinks and a light meal, maybe? There's a nice bistro around the corner that makes good coffee, tea, and great paninis."
The smile that erupted out of his face was so sweet and I could feel my stomach do a little flip flop at the sight of it.
"Yeah, that would work. Shall I meet you here and we walk over together?"
"Sure, but let's exchange numbers, just in case something comes up. I imagine that in your line of work you're on call all the time."
Agreeing with that he produced his phone and handed it to me so I could enter my information in his contacts. He texted my number and watched as I saved it to my list. Then with a wave he left the store and I returned to that shelf.
Bucky showed up at 4:55, walking in as I was finishing with a customer. He smiled at both of us, then stood at a shelf, looking at the selection, until I walked the customer out, locked the door, and pulled the blinds down on the windows and door.
"I just have to put the cash into the safe," I said. "The owner will be in tomorrow morning and will do the tally for the bank deposit."
After I printed off the sales record and emptied the cash drawer, I opened the safe and placed all the cash in it. The door was closed, the dial on the safe was spun, and I locked the cabinet. Then I grabbed my purse and jacket, and came out to the front.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I nodded and unlocked the door so he could leave ahead of me, locking both locks on it, then I asked for his help to pull the grate down and locked it into place. Like always, I sent a text to the owner that everything was secure for the night.
We arrived at the bistro just a few minutes later and I ordered a London Fog Tea Latte, and a chicken Caesar panini, while Bucky ordered a regular coffee and two roast beef paninis. It was common knowledge that he needed more food due to being a super soldier, so I wasn't surprised. We took a seat outside in the shade of the awning and waited for our food.
It was one of the best dates I had ever been on. Bucky was charming, in an old-fashioned way. He didn't monopolize the conversation, instead he asked me a lot of questions about myself. When I did ask him something he got nostalgic, but not in a complaining way. There were just things that he missed from before and he was sorry they didn't last.
"What about new things?" I asked, as our food was served. "What do you like about the present?"
"Food," he said, immediately, as he took an appreciative bite of his panini and smiled as he chewed before he spoke again. "Some things were better then but things like this, and the variety that's available is good. Healthcare is better. I mean, so many things were bad then, like cancer, tuberculosis, polio, and diseases that needed better antibiotics which didn't exist yet to be cured." He shrugged a little. "I prefer the old music but I'm making my way through the newer stuff and finding out what I like."
"I don't think they do romantic songs well now, not like they used to," I commented. "It's more about sexual attraction instead of the emotions, although there are still a few singers of the old stuff. I remember watching my grandparents dance at weddings when they played the old stuff and it was sweet, you know? It was romantic that they still felt the same way even after so many years." He got a pained look in his eyes for a moment, and I wondered if he was remembering something sad. "What were you like then? I've seen the pictures of you in your uniform and you were, and still are a handsome man. You looked so confident."
"Yeah." His voice softened. "I went out a lot, dancing. I was popular, mostly because I didn't kiss and tell. A woman's reputation was everything and it was easy to destroy if someone said something that really wasn't their business. I'm more introverted now as I don't have much in common with most people. I've had a few relationships, but they fizzled out and I never really figured out why as they said it was them, not me. Hard to believe that when you hear it several times."
"You like books," I replied. "That's a big plus for me. You're polite, attentive, and you have manners. That puts you above a lot of guys in my generation."
"You don't date much?" I shook my head, then took another bite of my panini. "They must be idiots. I think you're interesting and I'd like to see you again."
His words made me feel warm inside and I smiled at him. "I'd like that, too."
After we finished, we walked around, talking some more, then Bucky saw me home, sitting on the train with me. When we got to my apartment door, he hesitated for a moment then he gently brushed his lips against mine and watched as I entered, telling me to wave from the window when I was safely inside.
That was the beginning of our relationship, and it was wonderful as it developed over the first two months. We saw each other whenever we could, even if he sometimes just came and sat in my apartment to read as I worked on my medical transcriptions. He always made sure I had something to eat and drink while I was doing that. Sometimes, he would massage my shoulders when it looked like I was stressing out over some of the more unintelligible voice recordings, as accuracy in the transcription was paramount.
The first time he stayed over was incredible, as it started to rain hard while he was there. I wasn't going to send him out into the rain, so we made soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. When the power suddenly stopped, we made out, which led to our first time together, which led to him staying over. He was so giving, wanting to make sure that I was satisfied before he was. I can honestly say he made love better than any man I had ever been with, not that I had a lot of experience in the matter. It didn't matter, I was falling in love with him and by the words he said to me, the feeling was mutual.
My world fell apart a little just over two months after we started dating when the bookstore was broken into overnight, robbed, then set on fire. I wasn't working that day, but my boss phoned me in tears that someone would destroy her livelihood like that. Bucky came with me in the middle of the night to comfort her, as we watched the fire department try to save what they could, which ended up being nothing. Even with the insurance, she couldn't afford to reopen it and I was out of one of my two jobs. Two weeks later, the medical transcription service I worked for was sold to a conglomerate, who promptly terminated the contracts of over half the staff, me included. Because it was a contract position, there was no severance pay. It wouldn't be long until my savings ran out and when it did, I would be homeless.
"Move in with me," offered Bucky. "The suite I have at the tower is huge and I'm sure you can get on with the support staff there. All I have to do is ask Pepper Stark."
"Bucky, I don't want to use you like that." I appreciated it but it seemed wrong to use his friends to get another job and I didn't want to impose on him. "I'll find something. I can manage on my own."
He looked at me with a strange, soft smile on his face.
"The thing is, you don't have to. You're more than qualified to work at the tower and we're together so much already that I feel like we're already living together. Please, let me help the most important person in my life."
My interview with Pepper Stark went well, and I got a job, a good job, in the IT department. She even paid for my things to be moved into Bucky's apartment, although most of the furniture went into storage because his apartment was furnished already. Almost everyone was welcoming to me and I felt comfortable there.
There was one person who seemed friendly at first, but I found when Bucky went on longer missions that she wasn't on, she could be a little cold. Sharon Carter, who was apparently related to Steve Rogers' girlfriend from World War II, was beautiful, smart, and a very capable operative. As a CIA liaison with the Avengers, she was often sent on undercover assignments, with various Avengers, occasionally Bucky, to infiltrate secure places. In front of him and the others she was very complementary to me. But when they were away and we were alone, or with some lesser agents, she would make comments that could be seen as snide or hurtful, although she always worded them in a way that made me wonder if I was just imagining it.
Once, I came back from working out. I knew I wasn't at the level of fitness most of the agents or Avengers were. I just did stuff to keep active and Bucky never said anything to the contrary. On that day, I felt good about what I did, actually pushing myself with the weights. I stopped to get a bottle of water from the communal fridge. I took my sweaty T-shirt off and was in my sports bra and leggings. Sharon sat at the table, reading something on a tablet. As I walked past her, she hummed.
"I don't mean to be critical or anything," she said, in that confident voice she had. "Are you gaining weight?" I looked at her as if I couldn't believe she would say that. "It's just that you seem to have a bit of a muffin top forming. Maybe you shouldn't be eating ice cream for a snack so often. Just a word of advice. Bucky likes his women fit."
That was the first time I ever felt misgivings about my body. Even though I knew I looked good, she planted a seed of doubt in my head that day. Ignoring her, I left for our apartment and stripped down, looking at myself naked in the mirror. I grasped my midsection and tried to see where the muffin top was. I couldn't see it and even though I dismissed the thought, it percolated in my head, and I found myself cutting back on my food during the rest of the week. When Bucky returned, he made a big show of picking me up and holding me tight as he kissed me. There was a mirror wall and I glanced at it, seeing Sharon while he was doing it. She was jealous; it was clearly all over her face that she wanted Bucky. During dinner with everyone, she was polite again. As soon as we finished Bucky and I went to our apartment, locked ourselves in and didn't come out until morning. I wanted to ask him about Sharon, but something stopped me.
"Robyn, are you alright?" Bucky was looking at me as we brushed our teeth. "You seem off."
"I just missed you," I replied. "I'm glad you're back."
"Me, too," he smiled. "We have a lot of catching up to do. I've missed this."
He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my neck. Then he frowned.
"Have you lost weight?"
"I don't know," I lied. "Maybe I've been grabbing food on the go while I'm working instead of stopping for a meal."
"Don't lose anymore," he said, softly. "I like you with something extra to hold. You've got a beautiful body."
His words soothed me, and I felt better. Our relationship progressed and we said the "love" words to each other often. The time apart while he was on missions was hard, but he bent over backwards to make it up to me on his return. Sharon made little comments when he wasn't around, but I ignored them as best I could. That lasted until he had to go on a long mission again, this mission that he was currently on. Thankfully, Sharon wasn't at the tower as she was on assignment in Los Angeles. But the day before Bucky got back, she walked into the common room, where I was sitting alone, minding my own business. She flopped onto the sofa next to me then looked over.
"You changed your hair."
"Just got it cut."
"It looks alright, I guess. Has Bucky seen it?"
"On FaceTime. He likes it."
"Oh." She was quiet for a moment. "Maybe when he gets here, he'll change his mind."
I shouldn't have let what she said bother me, but something flipped inside me at that moment, and I turned to her, glaring in anger.
"What is your problem? Why do you say things like that?"
"Like what? They're just observations. Whether you listen to them or not, isn't my problem." I got up to get away from her, but she just had to have the last word. "You know his relationships don't last. Something always goes wrong. It just depends on when you realize that he's not cut out for something long term."
I kept going until I got into the apartment. Then I cried, feeling stupid that I let her words hurt me. All the old insecurities from her first hurtful comments came up and even though I knew I should just let it slide off me, something must have hit the mark because I couldn't let it go. That night I slept terribly, unable to put her words out of my head. Eventually I fell asleep for a bit but was awakened by the sensation of someone getting into bed with me. With a start I sat up, only to see Bucky smiling sheepishly at me.
"You're back early!"
"We left early, and I flew at top speed to get back sooner," he said, reaching out to caress my face. "Was hoping to be with you before you left for work."
I clutched at him, kissing him frantically, until he laughingly pulled me off of him. Then he looked closer at me and saw how tired I still appeared. Immediately his whole mood changed into something more serious and concerned.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked. "Didn't you sleep last night?"
I looked down and shook my head. He waited to hear more.
"Sharon got into my head, and I couldn't shake it off."
"She what?" His voice hardened. "What did she say to you?"
"It was nothing."
"Robyn, it wasn't nothing if it bothered you. If you don't tell me then I have to ask Friday for a playback."
I explained how her comment on my haircut triggered me into confronting her and she gaslighted me into making it my fault I was offended. His face went steely. Then, haltingly, I told him what she said about him and relationships; that he wasn't cut out for something long term.
"How long?" I looked at him blankly. "How long as she been messing with your head?"
I told him about the snide comments about my appearance, and lack of fitness. It all came pouring out of me in a torrent. By the last words I was crying and he held me, pulling me onto his lap while he kissed me and told me over and over how much I meant to him. When my crying finally slowed down to shaky breaths and occasional sniffles, he placed his hand under my chin and raised my face to view his.
"Understand this and believe it," he murmured. "I love you. Living with you has made me feel like a new man and I wake up every morning smiling because I know that you're here with me. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life. That's not a proposal but it is a promise that someday, sooner rather than later, I'll ask you properly to marry me." He kissed me sweetly on the lips then he took another audible breath. "Sharon Carter is another matter. I turned her down once because I honestly don't like her. She's a good operative and I've had her back while she's had mine. But she's got a mean streak in her that comes out without warning, and she doesn't care who it hurts. My last girlfriend before you, said something about Sharon and then left, not wanting to elaborate. I didn't put it together then I met you and put it out of my mind." He looked up at the ceiling. "Friday, can you compile recordings of any interaction between Sharon and my previous girlfriends and with Robyn. Specifically, any that involve criticism of the relationship between them and me? Include any comments that were critical of the girlfriends."
I looked at him in a new light. "You think it was her who sabotaged your relationships?" He nodded. "She planted the seeds of doubt and watered them every chance she got." I rubbed my face. "She wants you for herself."
"It's never going to happen." His tone was firm, then softened as he gazed at me. "I have what I want right here, right now."
I unbuckled his tac suit jacket, slipping it off his shoulders then tugged his singlet off between tender kisses and caresses from both of us. He took off the rest and showed me how much I meant to him in the best way possible. All my fears about us were dealt with and we slept afterwards wrapped together for several hours. When I woke up to get ready for my job, he let me shower alone. When I came out, he went in for a quick shower then dressed.
"Let's go for breakfast," he said. "I have a video to show everyone."
Together we came out to the common kitchen and dining area where everyone was making or eating breakfast. Sharon was sitting at the table with a pastry and coffee, pretending not to notice us but Bucky made sure he had his arm around me and kissed my head often. He made me a tea and gestured for me to sit at the table while he brought our food. It was close to Sharon, but I ignored her. Bucky brought our food then went back and poured himself a coffee, sitting next to me.
"I do like your hair like this," he said, running his eyes over it. "It looks even better than it did on FaceTime. What do you think, Sharon?"
"It's fine," she answered, as if she were bored.
"I guess fine is better than alright," he said, looking straight at her. "That was the actual term you used, wasn't it?"
"I dunno."
"You know, maybe it's because I was out of practice or maybe it's because I thought we were colleagues, but I never once thought that you would stoop so low as to try to sabotage my relationships."
She made it seem like he was boring her then looked at him. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Let me refresh your memory then. Friday, playback video compilation from this morning."
The large wall screen came to life and a series of videos began of Sharon with Bucky's earlier girlfriends. Everyone stopped talking and watched in confusion, with open mouths, as they heard her say some nasty things to the other women. There were many comments about their hair, weight, lack of style, lack of fitness, but mostly how Bucky wasn't capable of being in a long-term relationship with anyone because of his PTSD, or because he was more interested in playing the field. To her credit, she sat there and took it, although her face hardened throughout the playback. When the video got to what she said to me, I could feel the mood in the room turn completely against her. Sam Wilson, who hadn't said anything until then, finally stood up and looked at her with daggers.
"I think you should put in for an immediate transfer to another agency," he said. "By what I've seen and heard just now I don't think anyone wants to partner with you on any missions. Whatever trust we may have built up with you during and since the Flag Smashers is gone, by your own actions."
She breathed out angrily and stood up, looking briefly at all of them, then finally on Bucky and me. With a shake of her head, she left the table and the room. Sam advised Friday to lock her out of any systems that required clearance. As far as he was concerned, she had no clearance with the Avengers anymore. Then he looked at me and Bucky.
"All of us can see what you mean to each other. You make Bucky happy and that means a lot to all of us. I'm sorry we didn't know about her behaviour sooner. It was unacceptable."
He left to file a formal complaint about Sharon and why he fired her summarily. Others came to offer hugs to me and even Bucky, who took them. We sat back down to finish our breakfast. I couldn't help it, but the tears began again. He put his knife and fork down, then turned towards me, cupping my face in his hands. Gently, he wiped the tears from my cheek then kissed me on the lips. He didn't say anything, just gazed at me so lovingly that I stopped crying and nodded that I was okay. It was the truth. I was great. In front of me was someone I loved very much, and he loved me just as fiercely. Whatever the future brought we would face it together.
So basically, a pilot apparently died at Vince Neil's Airpark. And again people are talking without knowing and find a way to mock Vince and be asses. VINCE WASN'T EVEN ABOARD.
This dude was the worst in just one comment section. This dude has a wife and two kids and yet he's bodyshaming another grown ass man on social media. No Scott it doesn't make you more cool than Vince to be an idiot. Hope you're not the same way with your kids.
Get over it and let Razzle rest in peace for fucks sake. That's not even funny anymore if it has already been funny one day.
0 for Vince, 1 for alcohol, 1 for whoever is responsible for the accident. Stfu.
As always, bodyshaming, mockery, bringing back event from 40 years ago, get over everything. And as always it's grown up asses ugly faced men. (Am I bodyshaming? What are they gonna say anyway lol).
When a person is famous it doesn't give you the right to mock, humiliate, insult them more than a "normal" person.
When a person is famous it absolutely doesn't mean you know who they or how they are as a person.
You don't know or have to know about their ("real") private life.
You have to respect them, their family, their life, their appearance, how they look, how they talk or SING. You never know what a person went through.
You should be educated about people "aging". Really. They're all humans. They have feelings, a conscience, a mind, opinions, a life, a family, friends, and obviously more money than you do (loser do better you'll be allowed to talk then).
If you think mocking, criticizing famous people and especially singer here is going to make you look, smell, feel any better. No. You still stink. Take a shower instead of commenting shit on every post.
Even if they did bad things and acted like jerks in the past. You're not perfect either. Nobody is. We all do mistakes. Say or do regrettable things. Like don't tell me you never at least stole something even I already did.
Touch some grass. Drink water and try to insult aand bodyshame your dad or mom the same way you insult 1nd bodyshame famous people. (Please film it, it's for a social experiment for school).
Hope you don't have a nice day in you boring life of hater, hopefully you age like a banana.
Or else for the nice people have a very nice day (but drink water too it's important.)
