Non-glamorous Sugaring Stuff
A list of things that you may not think about when entering the bowl but really should consider.Â
He will smell. Dog shit breath. Body odor. Stinky balls. Something will smell.
He is married even if he is single. 99% of good SDs are married. So donât go into the bowl thinking you can get a good, single man to give you lots of money. It likely wonât happen that way. Even if they donât come right out and say it; they are married. No ring? Married. Doesnât talk about wife? Married. Seems to travel a lot? Married to a unlucky lady. I find that the unmarried ones tend to be the biggest womanizers, douchebags and assholes. They want a SB out of lazy-ass convenience or lack of social aptitude. Married men want a SB because they donât get it enough at home or their marriage just isnât working any longer OR because they do travel a lot and figure why not get some side chick action. Different area codes and such.
He will be old. Very old. And only mildly attractive (if you are lucky). He will be from a different generation. His looks will be fading. He will have at least a few wrinkles (face, balls, legs, back, hands, wherever). There may be a 2-4 generation gap between the two of you. The hot, young, nice, good-hearted, generous types just arenât trolling the sugar sites regularly and likely arenât going to be actively searching for an allowance based relationship. You may score a hot, young, rich guy by freestyling but expect to work even harder to get actual money out of him and he will be a boyfriend NOT a SD.
Body hair, everywhere. Older men tend to not be up on the grooming trends of younger men. They will have hairy chests, hairy backs, hairy butts, hairy knuckles, hairy toes, and so much pubic hair that you wonât be able to see his balls. And donât even think about suggesting he trim it down or shave. He canât. His wife will wonder why he suddenly cares about his hairy balls and back. Then he will have to end the arrangement out of fear of his wife finding out.
He has problems. And you have to listen to them. Part Most of being a sugar baby is to be his escape. If he needs to vent about work, the wifey, his kids, his latest doctor visit then you need to sit there and at least pretend to listen/care. Thatâs the deal.Â
You get have to travel with him. I have been to some amazing places with some of my SDs. I get to see the world, stay in beautiful hotels, eat delicious local cuisine and I get paid to do all of it. The only thing that would make it better is if my SD disappeared from the equation and a cute guy appeared or my friends or my family or even a coworker I donât really like but could still chill on a beach with. Or hell, even if I was there alone it would be better than being stuck with him 24 hours a day, for 4 or 5 days straight PLUS travel time. But I still go because, you know, money and free trips and shit.
You arenât allowed to have problems. Outside of gently suggesting that you donât have money for rent or whatever, you donât have problems. You donât have friend drama. You donât have coworkers you hate. You donât have anxiety. You can only have a âproblemâ every once in a while and that problem better damn well be able to be fixed with money. He can fix money-based problems without batting an eye but your emotional shit needs to be checked at the door. (Note: When you have been with an SD for a substantial amount of time you can slowly share more of your non-money problems but you have to gauge how much interest he truly has in them to keep him from thinking of you as another wife-type)
He may be very boring. The longer you are around him the less interesting he will seem. There is usually a reason he has to pay women for company.Â
He may be the opposite of boring. He will have insane energy and keep you entertained but you should expect to need a day or two to recover from your energy-draining SD.
THE MONEY WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. Starting out you think $3k/mo is enough. After a year, $5k/mo is barely enough. In a few years you will KNOW that even 100k/day isnât really enough to put up with these guys.
It will be a constant mental struggle between spend and save. Even those of us who save like crazy still have thoughts of âspend spend spendâ. You have money. You save it. You have more money than you need to save. But if you keep saving you can buy better things later. But right now that awesome Chanel bag is calling your name. But, no, later is better. Later is a house.
Once you really do become a SB, leaving the life forever will be difficult. Once you get into the groove, the job gets easier because you learn to deal with the negatives and quitting a lucrative, easy job is never easy. Plus, you can technically do this job forever. This can be your career. You can be a kept woman and live a fancy life forever as long as you give up a few other dreams. But right now you must work hard for it.
Your schedule doesnât REALLY matter. Sure, you schedule around your own activities as much as possible but when push comes to shove you WILL cancel movie night with the girls, call off work, or skip a pool party if it means you can keep your SD around longer.
Tired? Sick? Tough shit. You still need to smile, be flirty and âenjoyâ his company. I guarantee HE will show up for dates with a runny nose and a sore back because he only gets a few chances to get away from the wife and there is no way in hell he is missing play time because of the flu. Expect them to expect the same commitment from you.
It is a full time job. I repeat, it is a FULL TIME JOB. Until you have a good number of proven/established/long-term SDs who are surpassing your minimum allowance needs and you are saving like a madwoman, then you canât really sit back and relax. Since they can leave you at any time you have to keep going on those terrible dates and keep researching new guys. It takes a long time to truly be secure enough in current arrangements to be able to stop doing this completely. Donât expect to be âthat lucky girlâ who found a sugar husband after a week of trying.Â
The odds are not in your favor. My guess is for every 100 contacts you make on dating sites, 20 of them will actually turn into sugar-potential dates and only 2 of those will become POT material guys and maybe 1 of those will become an SD.
SDs are not built to last. You went on tons of dates, did the legwork, and now are getting your desired allowance from a nice SD. IF he lasts past two months, good. IF he lasts past 4 months, great. IF he actually lasts close to or beyond a year then he really is a good SD and you can consider yourself to be truly lucky.
Being with him will be embarrassing, like, all the time. People will stare. They will wonder if he is your lover/boss/father/grandfather. Walking to hotel rooms with him will be awkward as fuck. Every. Single. Time. Oh, and just wait until he wants to hold your hand or kiss you in public. Be prepared to be the center of unwanted attention everywhere you go.
But if you can get past all of these things and still manage to find and lockdown a few good SDs, save your money and maintain your sanity then you will be on your way to financial freedom. It takes hard work but so do most good things in life.
