oh yeah, mr krabs

Thirza, 18, London 

[vivipuppy]

hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos

im thorsty

[vivipuppy]

He better not fucking have

[moonisee]

I’M SCREAMING

[meaningsofthestars]

Me w ppl I don’t have a crush on: babe, baby, hun, dear, love, light of my life Me w ppl I have a crush on: pleased to make your acquaintance good sir, my good colleague.

[theweirdwideweb]

[panerasexual-deactivated2017100]

walk a mile in these light up sketchers 

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via amyschumersucks)

[mjalti]

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

[eclipticzero]

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

[mjalti]

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

[magiks]

capri sun what the fuck does that even mean

[stability]

scooby doo was my life as a little kid imma cry

[lilmissvirgo-deactivated2022070]

me watching my own snapchat story: she is so damn funny i love her 

[banderboucher]

New Yorker Cartoon

Millennial holding newborn baby: Where the like button on this binch!!!

[katswenski]

[se17enteen]

[earthdad]

something tells me i’m going to die in a Waffle House one day

[fuckstev-deactivated20240104]

what tells you that

[earthdad]

the man outside my window

[fuckyeahsexanddrugs]

[thebootydiaries]

bye my ride is here

[meme-theft]

[lavagoth]