Kira Does Things

Kira doodles and talks about life with depression and anxiety to feel less alone in this world.

[kiradoes]

FuzBubbles.tumblr.com

For a while I was doing retumbles on my other site (FuzBubbles) and original ideas here. I want to be doing more original things (writing, doodling, lego building) but I'm going to combine both sites. So come find me at FuzBubbles.tumblr.com for pictures of cute animals. Thanks.

[kiradoes]

Tonight's craft is brought to you by an Animal Man comic I didn't actually want to read. I love the tactility of it.

[kiradoes]

Tired

I get overtired and scared to sleep. I don't want to drift away. I don't want the bad thoughts to come. I hate feeling this scared of nothing.

[kiradoes]

Fury Road

Am I the only one who watches Fury Road to calm down and go to sleep when depressed and anxious?

[artfilmfan]

I Am Not Your Negro (Raoul Peck, 2016)

[kiradoes]

Hate Politics

I used to be one of those people who thought 'it's only politics' and 'why worry about what they do'. Such privilege I have. I know I still leave a charmed life and there's little that'll happen in American politics that will negatively affect me directly in my lifetime, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about these hate-filled policies that only serve to punish the 'other'. I want to live in a world of acceptance and love and normally do, and just feel sad and can't understand the instinct some people have to kick a helpless puppy.

[kiradoes]

Spooning

Why do we say big spoon / little spoon when the spoons that fit together are the same size?

[kiradoes]

Good Head Day

Signed up for the TalkSpace therapy app for a month. So rather then sending all my ramblings into the Tumblr void, I'm sending them to someone who responds with info about boundaries and experience being bullied. Four days in I'm digging it.

[kiradoes]

:/

Oddly enough I had a good head-space day, even with working eleven hours. We're still super behind at work and I have started my huge test I need to work on, but I finished everything I brought home and that feels good. The real happy is that a friend got in touch yesterday and she's coming to visit next weekend and that is super exciting! I'm shitty at making friends and the handful of great ones I have mostly live far away, so it's nice to be reminded that someone likes me and wants to spend time with me. What was that I was saying about nice head-space?

[ashwasironicallyonfire-blog-dea]

I was bored, i had to

[kiradoes]

Sleepy long day. Have a fun Doctor reference.

[lomasdope]

Telling someone who’s depressed to “Just get over it” is like telling a blind person to “Just look harder”

[kiradoes]

Thanks for this. Hard sometimes to remember I'm not just lazy and not just whining, I'm actually sick. Stupid depression and anxiety. I hate my brain.

[kiradoes]

KATGathon

Forgot to post today because I've been laughing my butt off watching the comedy marathon at keithandthegirl.com. They have 18 more hours so go check it out!!

[kiradoes]

Aftermath

Did the grownup thing and got up early today to take my car to get a repair estimate after my accident Thursday night. It’s apparently only 5% away from being totaled, which just makes me sad about how little my seven year old car is worth. With the cost of a rental for the time of the repairs I wouldn’t be surprised if insurance just totals the whole thing. On the one hand that almost seems easier. But on the other I don’t really want to be having to make car payments again. I guess it’s just wait and see what insurance says next week at this point.

[kiradoes]

Stressful day

Ugh After a rough day dealing with annoyed people at work, trying and failing to sign up for an online therapy service, trying to track down a Kickstarter reward that got delivered somewhere else two weeks ago, I got in a car accident. Everyone's fine, but it's my second fenderbender in seven months and I'm just annoyed at the paperwork and bother that it's going to take to get my car fixed. I don't think this one was my fault at all, but it also makes me question my ability and competence at driving, and that feels lousy. Filled out the accident form on the insurance app, not looking forward to dealing with that tomorrow. Oh well, maybe it'll be a welcome distraction from work tomorrow.

[kiradoes]

Socially awkward

I miss some friends but I don't know how to have a phone conversation anymore. Don't want it to be super deep. Just a light 'I miss you, let's chat'. That's the goal for this weekend. One phone call. Don't have to catch up with everyone. Just one call.

[kiradoes]

Medical success story!

As someone who’s overweight and full of anxiety and depression many of my medical interactions have been “you just need to relax and exercise” and that’s not too helpful. About two years ago my Obgyn noticed my dry dry elbows and said it looked like psoriasis and I should go to a dermatologist. I finally did so last week and he prescribed a cream, as well as checked all my moles (looking good, pale girl). The cream only cost ten dollars and didn’t smell, so I was off to a good start. Applied some last night and woke up to the smoothest left elbow I’ve had in thirty years!! It seems like a stupid thing to be excited about, but something medically on my body is responding to first pass treatment in the right direction and that’s a first (in looking at you, anti-depressants).

Also, I picked up knitting today for the first time in a couple years and it felt good to be fidgety with a purpose again.

[wordsnquotes]

Someone once told me that human beings have three dimensions: how you see yourself, how others see you, and how you want others to see you. The closer the distance between the three dimensions, the more at peace you are and the more stable you become.

Marwa Rakha, The Poison Tree  (via wordsnquotes)