Quack D:

HELLO FRIENDS I AM HERE AND I DO NOT LIKE WEARING PANTS

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[steampunkforever]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[kraken17]

"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[prokopetz]

Enemies-to-lovers pairing who spend a few years trying to make it work as a couple, then mutually agree to go back to trying to kill each other for real because it's hotter that way.

[infimace-blog]

dead wife montage but it's a henchman reminiscing about da boss after he got put six feet under. picking flowers before hiding the bodies, wiping cocaine from your nose after a big night, that long drive down the beach to find the bookie who squealed. where did the days go

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[tackminyard]

affirmations for my printer:

you are not out of paper

you have so much paper

it’s okay to function as intended

you are not out of ink

i just refilled that cartridge last month

you can connect to that computer you’re supposed to connect to

you’re allowed to print things

[so-i-did-this-thing]

You can print in black & white without depending on any of the other color cartridges

[natequarter]

unwilling narrator

[natequarter]

the weight of a story is hard to bear but someone's gotta be atlas

[feluka]

imagine if i did my work. if i sat down and Did it. and it was Done. can you even imagine such a thing

[tothechaos]

aw what the hell change my leitmotif to a minor key im not driving

[00000066]

[segamascott]

[artistformerlyknownasbutttrumpet]

i bring a "technically i could do this tomorrow" energy to things that tomorrow me really resents

[fruitviking]

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.