Should I ask how cursed and dumb koalas are? Because I've heard they're pretty self destructive and as I've said before, dumb?)
not dumb at all, actually!
all those "koalas are evolutionary dead ends and their bodies are riddled with toxins" posts are just hate clickbait- koalas are normal animals on the lower end of the smarts scale but no less intelligent than say, a squirrel.
YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID BASTARD JEREMY, I SAW YOU ALMOST GET RUN OVER BY THAT MOPED LAST WEEK WHEN YOU WENT AFTER HALF A CHICKEN SANDWICH IN THE GUTTER
in fact, koalas are just one of MANY mammals that have specialized into eating a noxious/dangerous plant that other animals in their ecosystem avoid, which is a totally valid strategy and works really well as long as your food source doesn't go extinct!
another notable mammal that specced into this niche is:
giraffes!
and yet, I have yet to see any shouty wildlife articles calling giraffes an "evolutionary dead end"...
(though to be fair, a giraffe is more likely than a koala to render you into a monkey pancake for the insult)
and finally, koalas aren't actually poisonous! they're part of their ecosystem like any other animal, and regularly get chowed down on by multiple different predators, including humans.
"shit bro, maybe you guys should just try these leafs instead. love these leafs."
in this way, koalas are actually a VERY IMPORTANT PART of their ecosystem, because their participation in the australian food web means that nutrients that otherwise would remain locked in eucalyptus trees and inaccessible to most other animals get passed up the chain when a koala eats the eucalyptus leaves and eventually is eaten itself in turn!
*swelling music*
IT IS. THE CIRCLE. OF LIFE.
yes, but that's actually not at ALL unusual- smooth brains are pretty much the standard for small-to-midsize mammals, like it or not. so it's not just koalas, animals that have smooth brains full of youthful vigor include fan favorites such as...
SQUIRRELS (again! I SAW that, Bastard Jeremy, you are going to electrocute yourself one of these days and I am going to LAUGH. LAUGH.)
MICE (not actual size, that would be terrifying)
SQUIRREL MONKEYS (that's right, you have a relative on this list! maybe YOU'RE the weird one here, Raisin Brain.)
RABBITS
plus many, many others! brain wrinkles might indicate increased intellectual ability for a species, sure, but the LACK of them doesn't mean they're all idiots by any means! a koala is a normal and functional animal roughly on the same level as an opossum.
PLEASE DON'T BE MEAN TO THEM THEY'RE TRYING SO HARD
also, that bit about how "koalas can't recognize leaves if they're on a plate" IS just an internet hatebait myth- koalas can recognize the leaves just fine, they likely just won't eat leaves off the ground because rotting leaves can make them sick and also the ground is gross.
as far as this little guy is concerned, you just handed him half a burger you found at the bottom of a garbage can last tuesday, and you like, expect him to EAT it. right there, on camera. what's wrong with you.
regret to inform you that Bastard Jeremy is an actual real life Eastern Gray Squirrel that lives in the oak tree by my house and he pulls this shit roughly every other week
