it's cuter in polish @kisses4roach - Tumblr Blog

i watched ONE episode of the witcher today, these are my thoughts

(here’s episode 2)

I saw this a week ago and now I can no longer look at Netflix-Geralt without thinking “Get out of here, beef-boy, those buns are illegal here! You’re too beefy for this town!”

valtsv

underrated aspect of the witcher i don’t think we talk about enough: not one major character in that series had their shit remotely together and they all made it a problem for everyone else

valtsv

literally the most stable character in that entire show was the horse

penny-anna

did i ever post this

astaerion

the witcher + text posts [5/?]

yenvengerberg

WELCOME TO 2022: a moodboard

ravensinflight

I love that Geralt is like “I was beaten and starved” when talking about his childhood training, and is constantly trying to get Ciri to rest, eat, and feel good about herself. Geralt says the cycle of violence ends with me; meanwhile, Ciri’s over here:

bumblebeebats

seghs24

My favorite part of S2 is Ep8 when Yen and Jaskier are in the lab at Kaer Morhen and Jaskier just picks up a random bowl of stuff and starts eating it

Like....... What the fuck IS that? Homie walked into a LABORATORY run by WITCHERS and just started eating random ingredients. He just started chowing down. It barely even looked like food, it was just... Some kind of red mash? Dried flower petals?

Yen didn't say shit either! Saw this man just eating random shit he found and went "Alright sure fucking whatever dude. Anyways can you take this rock to Geralt?"

HELLO???

kafiguas

The Witcher, season 2:

kazieka

all I want from season 2 is geralt having No Clue how to parent and ciri making it incredibly difficult like

Geralt: what do you feed them?? what do you feed a human child?? i... bugs? do they eat bugs?

Ciri, feral little twelve yr old nightmare: yea I’ll eat bugs

nutcasewithaknife

Geralt: How long are human children supposed to sleep? Will......... a few hours? 7 to 8 hours?

Ciri: yeah, that's about right. 7 hours a week is more than enough.

Geralt: *is very proud of his accurate estimates and guesses*

themonsterwithoutaname

IV been thinking about this and I can only imagine the only person who realized how chaotic this is is Jaskier, because both Geralt and Yen had horrible childhoods lmao

Jaskier: What do you mean, you have been feeding her bugs?

Geralt: She likes them.

Jaskier: What the hell, children need more sustenance than just bugs!

Yen: I used to eat bugs as a child and I ended up fine.

nudityandnerdery

I imagine they wonder if Jaskier’s advice is just skewed because he was raised in an extremely fancy household from what most of them are used to.

Geralt: Are you sure? That doesn’t sound right. Yenn: I think Jaskier is just over-reacting. Ciri: Some sort of nonsense nobles tell their children, I suspect. Can’t trust it. Jaskier: Wha- You are are a princess!

shaiiloo

Ciri: Exactly, that’s how I know that.

#I'm so hyped for season 2

abottomlessvoid

i watched ONE episode of the witcher today, these are my thoughts

(here’s episode 2)

platypus-in-a-starship

posted this to my twitter, thought id share it here too

dangerousyako

#high school drama kid working at a ren faire #super into d&d podcasts #(fell into the lap of a noble family?) listened to the Call Of Adventure #because what an opportunity! #quickly learns that grimdark fantasy worlds are a little bit shit #cries occasionally about the lack of twitter and fast food #yeah I can see it #and I dig it #'WAY LESS SEXY MONSTER-FUCKING THAN I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE' #'not NONE granted but FAR LESS' #geralt: 'what'

kisses4roach

Ciri space-time jumps into our world in canon so it's actually quite plausible..

#by which i mean our world exists in Witcher canon #i think only ciri can jump between planets outside of major Confluence events #and the world nearly ended the last time that happened #the witcher