The last moment of affection
Peiring:Lee Minho x Han Jisung
ONLY APPEARANCE AND A LITTLE CHARACTER ARE TAKEN FROM REAL PEOPLE. DOES NOT REFER TO REAL IDOLS.
Tag:doomed love, angst, suicide, drugs, death.
Minho and Jisung had a complicated and complex history. Their relationship was riddled with complex emotions and tension, laced with doubt and deception. They managed to change each other's lives, but, unfortunately, not for the better. How did this story begin? What happened at the end? A love story is never happy, love is cruel, and trust destroys hearts.
They began writing this story when they were students in high school.Both are only 17 years old. Minho is the leader of the basketball team, and Jisung is a very attractive guitarist in the school band. Minho is harsh and rude, while Jisung is loud, cheerful and very gentle. Minho immediately noticed Jisung in the crowd, bright blue hair visible in the crowd. Jisung dressed the way he wanted, he did what he wanted...and then Minho wanted Jisung. Jisung immediately fell in love with Minho, maybe this story is about true love? Jisung also paid attention to Minho, but noted him as a very rude and wayward young man.
–"Look, Sonnie, Minho is staring at you again,” Felix whispered in Jisung’s ear and glanced towards Minho, who was sitting at the opposite end of the dining room.
–"He recently invited me to his home..” Jisung whispered mysteriously in response and looked at Minho and waved his hand.
–"And what did you do?"
–"Damn, first we watched anime... and then... he kissed me." Jisung's cheeks turned red and he was sure that Minho was grinning at such Jisung. Felix's eyes widened and he squeezed Jisung's shoulder approvingly, "YOU HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING."
This was the beginning. Everything was like something out of a stupid novel or, even worse, a romantic drama. The relationship started fast and furious, Minho loved a lot of emotions and Minho loved Jisung. Jisung always dreamed of being loved and wanted to love. Minho lifted Jisung to heaven.
–"So gentle when you're embarrassed"
–"Please,Ho..Kiss me again"
Soft laughter, hot hands under a T-shirt and such familiar lips on the skin. The idea of falling in love with Lee Minho was the best thing in life.
–“You look like my dream...you feel like the most pleasant alcohol,” Lee whispered and kissed Jisung aggressively, hovering over him on the sofa. They met at Minho's house, these were secret meetings. Jisung's family only knew Minho as Jisung's friend. But should friends kiss?
–"Sonnie, play the guitar for me. You play so beautifully" Jisung would compose hundreds of lyrics for Minho, Minho would become his eternal muse.
Minho gave Jisung the brightest love, they call it "Eros". Such love is passionate and flaming, implying a loss of control due to love... they have long ceased to control themselves. They seemed to shine with each other. They had so many moments together, so many tender and sweet memories.
And also, as Jisung said, Minho fucks him well. Yes, with Minho it was definitely the best sex, leading to languor and stars in the eyes. Lee Minho knew how to make things pleasant.
Jisung thought about Minho before bed, thought about him in the morning, and thought about him always, absolutely always. Minho settled in Jisung’s thoughts and in his heart, becoming Jisung’s very dream. Han Jisung knew how to love. And Minho...oh dear Minho. Minho never thought he wanted to settle for just one. Lee Minho wanted to take everything at once.
Minho has always been a person prone to cheating. He couldn't stop at one person, one story. But when he decided to cheat on Jisung, his long-term partner and lover, it was too much even for him.
Minho:Hyunnie) can you come to my house by 7:30 pm?
Hyunjin:I can, Minho, what happened?
Minho: Jisung and I had a fight, I'm so bored...
Hyunjin: Omg, I'll be there soon. wait with alcohol.
Minho: Tanks 💌👌🏻
Oh yeah. Minho and Jisung started arguing a lot. Minho often disappears, he's just bored with Jisung. Jisung is too nice, Jisung is too soft and Jisung loves him too much. It was suffocating Minho, he wanted freedom and more lust, Minho wanted more sex. Jisung tried many times to have a normal conversation with Minho, but every time the same short message awaited him: “Don’t bother me, I’m busy.”
Busy...When will you find time for Jisung?
–"Haven't you talked again?"
–"Lix...he always disappears somewhere, he always goes with Hyunjin...it's like I'm nobody"
–"Please Jisung, talk to him."
–"But I don't want to hurt him."
–"Aren’t you in pain yourself?”
Those around Jisung clearly noticed how he was losing interest in life. He couldn't understand how he could think like that...he would never leave Minho, and that thought haunted her every night. He could not fill the emptiness in his soul, and the moral pain became unbearable.
–"I want to watch a movie with you, Sonnie"
–"Min!! I'm so happy, of course I'll come...how about tonight?"
But there were no films. Minho loved the body, Minho doesn't need Jisung's soul. He invited Jisung to indulge in the passions of the night. Jisung is in pain again, but he allows Minho to do it.
Jisung:Minnie, We need to talk
Minho:About what?
Jisung:I know it will hurt. forgive me, you were my best boyfriend...I really love you so much, I always do. I love you until my knees tremble and my heart hurts... but it’s time to end this. You always disappear with Hyunjin or Chan, you always avoid me, it hurts me. I want to end this relationship.
Minho:Oh so pretty)Yeah, we are breaking up. I do not love you. Sorry, I'm late for Chan :)))
Pain.Jisung is so stupid, yes, stupid. It hurts so damn much. It’s as if a tormenting frost has set in on your soul, and the flowers are dying in the frost. as if his heart had been torn out of his chest and left him, leaving only emptiness in him. Full of despair, he experiences a loss of interest in life. Further we go, worse it becomes. Previously, he could find joy, happiness, pleasure in life even in the little things. But now all the days have become gray, devoid of meaning and purpose. It’s dark inside him, a dark forest, as if his soul is immersed in absolute darkness.
"Can I just leave?" - such thoughts arise in him more and more often. What does he have to lose? He lost his soulmate, his family, his love. What's left? Endless emptiness and pain. It's so easy to just stop existing. It's so easy to stop feeling pain. Jisung is unable to live without Minho. Jisung's soul completely dissolved in Minho, but he just laughed at him. Probably Jisung has no value since Minho cheated on him... probably Jisung is not good enough for Minho... Jisung promises to improve. Jisung wants to go back to Minho, but sees him either in Hyunjin’s company or in Chan’s Company.
Jisung's too kind heart hurts, he completely stops socializing. He leaves the group, now the guitar is his past. He dyed his bright blue hair black and permed it, so he's now curly. Jisung wears glasses and dresses modestly, Jisung has lost himself. Han Jisung killed himself. The world is like cracked glass, fragments fly in different directions. Jisung only allowed Felix to come near him, and Felix’s heart ached so much for his friend. Felix doesn't want to lose Jisung.
But Felix didn't have extra ears or eyes, he couldn't always be with Jisung, and Jisung only communicated with Felix. This night will be the loneliest.
Night. White sheets, the silence of the night and only the cool air brought Jisung to consciousness. What a terrible feeling, why does love hurt so much? He missed Minho, he believed that Minho was not bad, but it hurt so much. It hurt as if I had been hit with all my might right in the chest. Jisung saw life next to Minho. Jisung destroyed himself, he gave up his dreams and career. Jisung can't be himself anymore, so what's left? Black curls fell on an unnaturally pale face, Jisung got out of bed and found some pills in the medicine cabinet, he didn’t care what they were. Jisung didn't realize what he was doing or why he was doing it. He just wants to stop feeling pain, pills relieve pain.
Jisung:Sorry, Felix
Jisung:It will be better, better for everyone.
Jisung:I'm so scared, but I have to do it.
Jisung:Sorry bro...you were the best.
Han Jisung turned off his phone without seeing Felix's tirade and the message "I'M ALREADY ON THE GO, PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING." Oh.. Jisung just didn't want to be stopped.Death for lunch today, bon appetit.
Jisung looked at the pills that were lying on a snow-white plate. There is no doubt that Jisung is just tired. Many people say that after death... it is calm and good there, which is what Jisung wanted. Jisung locked himself in the kitchen after changing into a black shirt and black pants, his black curly hair falling over his face. First pills...second...third...fourth...he lost count, I think there were about 30? The last thing Jisung felt was the feeling of doomed love, “I’m sorry that I love you so much, Lee Minho,” Han Jisung’s very last thought.
But Lee Felix didn’t have time, he had to break down the door to the kitchen, where he saw Jisung already dead. He sat just like he was alive, only he would never speak and would never walk. Lee Felix will blame Minho and tell everyone to blame him for Jisung's death. Han Jisung is no longer in pain, he is no longer afraid or in love.