Facts about me ,need mutuals<3
16//5’8//vegatarian//any pronouns//bi
SW: 174 lbs
CW: 153lbs
GW1: 130lbs
GW2: 120lbs
UGW : 100 lbs
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Kiana Khansmith

blake kathryn
Sade Olutola
dirt enthusiast
todays bird
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@theartofmadeline

oozey mess
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
DEAR READER
Peter Solarz
cherry valley forever

tannertan36
h

shark vs the universe
NASA
YOU ARE THE REASON

titsay
styofa doing anything
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@kittyb0n3s666
Facts about me ,need mutuals<3
16//5’8//vegatarian//any pronouns//bi
SW: 174 lbs
CW: 153lbs
GW1: 130lbs
GW2: 120lbs
UGW : 100 lbs
been trying this new method where i fast for 20-24 hours then i eat a big meal it’s been working pretty good bc i get full easier
[enters my own room] damn bitch you live like this?
10/3 830 TOTAL CALORIES
* 15cal coffee
* 170cal frosted flakes
* 160cal icecream sandwich
* 120cal oatmeal
* 5cal gum
* 360cal halo top red velvet ice cream
i’m probably the unhealthiest restrictive eater on here loll
what do you do for a living?
I exist against my will.
if i’m sharing it on tumblr it’s still privacy sorry u can’t convince me otherwise this is my house
10/2 1245 TOTAL CALORIES
* 15cal coffee
* 330cal pizza
* 180cal oatmeal and yogurt bowl
* 130cal chips
* 5cal gum
* 105cal popcorn
* 110cal grits
* 170cal frosted flakes
* 200cal x2 mint yasso bar
ate more then i wanted to today but at least it wasn’t a binge :|
10/1 991 TOTAL CALORIES
* 15cal coffee
* 330cal halo top ice cream
* 0cal diet sweet tea
* 156cal donut holes
* 70cal popsicle
* 150cal rice krispy treat
* 100cal lemon italian ice
* 170cal frosted flakes
first food log of the month kinda missed it here so i’m back
gonna be more active in here again since it’s my favorite month i guess 😭
life update : just been getting violently high everyday
9/11 1160 TOTAL CALORIES
* 170cal cereal
* 20cal coffee
* 10cal gum
* 140cal yogurt bar
* 400cal mochi
* 130cal yogurt
* 220cal gritz
* 80cal yogurt
i can’t stop purging even if it’s just once a day at the end idk it’s i enjoyable but i feel like i have to but i tried mochi for the first time today it’s so good but 100cal for each seems excessive :/
ate a lot today and i had a lengthy purging session at the end of the day today was stressful asf tho ;/
eating disorders need to be handled differently. Im going off, sorry in advance.
In high school, i was sat down with the rest of my health class, instructed by our gym teacher. This is where i had my “education” about eating disorders, though i was dealing with one secretly.
He talked about them as if they were a crime. He told us how to know if someone has an ed (they’ll wear baggy dark clothing, they’ll avoid food), and to tell on them. He told us it’s for women only. We made jokes about it. We had to watch a terribly inaccurate movie portraying eating disorders.
This movie was full of tips on how to hide an ed that i remember 7 years later. He must not have interpreted it that way.
I learned to be a better liar and i learned that people will hate me and pity me and find me revolting and call me ignorant and force feed me with a tube in a hospital if they ever found out.
So i kept quiet.
When i was 16 and my family found out i was purging, they sat me down intervention style and SCREAMED at me. My uncle, my aunt, and my grandmother all sat at a table and yelled at me about my biggest secret. They called me gross, immature, and compared me to my birth mother who struggled with the same thing.
They made me feel some of the most intense shame i’d ever felt. I felt stripped naked.
They took away my coping mechanisms (internet, tumblr account, certain TV shows, scale). They didn’t allow me to heal by choice or leave my coping mechanisms behind on my own because they thought my ed was a silly girl thing that I could quit whenever. But it wasn’t ever that simple.
Without my coping mechanisms, I turned to self harming.
To this day, the memory makes me shudder and reminds me to distrust them. They handled it horribly.
PEOPLE NEED TO STOP HANDLING THIS HORRIBLY. NOW.
The only thing that ended up helping was when i was forced to go to therapy. I was resistant at first. But my therapist was educated on the topic, took me seriously, and helped me handle my ed safely to slowly and comfortably to recover rather than shame me to shreds so i could stop being a nuisance.
Recovering took YEARS. It was not a simple decision like everyone told me it should be. But even with my current relapse, I know how to be safe about this and how to avoid hurting myself.
Here’s what i wished they told me in high school.
Eating disorders are treatable. You are not too far gone to try to get better.
Someones weight is not an indicator of whether or not they have an eating disorder. Anyone, regardless of size or shape or weight, can be dealing with an ed.
NEVER lower your goal weight.
Eating disorders will manipulate you. They are not funny, they are not cute, they are not just for girls: they can affect anyone and they want to hurt you. Eating disorders are not your friend, even though it will sometimes feel like it.
Bottom line: at the end of the day, there aren’t many endings to this aside from recovery or death.
Eating disorders can stem from other problems in a person’s life possibly regarding a lack of control, mental health issues, or other personal struggles that aren’t really centered around the way one looks. It is putting one “controllable” thing (your body) into your own hands and making it the center of your life so that the other uncontrollable problems don’t take up as much space in your head.
In other words, an eating disorder is typically a SYMPTOM of something else. Trying to “fix” someone by focusing on the eating disorder alone can just make the person turn to something else to cope (alcohol, drugs, impulsive buying, sex, anything addictive.) I turned to self harming.
Focusing on the ED alone is the equivalent of pulling weeds out, but leaving the roots.
You don’t have to drop your ED all at once! It can be slow. You may have relapses. But you can do it at a comfortable pace. As long as you recognize that you have to try eventually.
Having an eating disorder shouldn’t be such a shameful thing. No wonder people rarely try to get help on their own when it’s framed as a joke or when people can handle it so horribly.
It needs to stop.
We need knowledgeable people in schools teaching students these things so we can create more understanding eventual adults and overall, a less stigmatized culture.
9/8 735 TOTAL CALORIES
* 60cal coffee x2
* 90cal chocolate
* 95cal granola
* 160cal yogurt
* 60cal yogurt
* 70cal popsicle x2
* 10cal gum
* 80cal yogurt
* 40cal brocoli
* 70cal fiber brownie
IM BACK i just been fucking feeling like shit but yea while i was gon i started the whole purging cycle again so yeaa
8/1 1160 TOTAL CALORIES
* 0cal coffee
* 5cal gum
* 90cal starbucks passion tea
* 270cal pumpkin bread
* 170cal rice crispie cereal
* 135cal rice cakes
* 125 toast
* 190cal donut
* 180cal cheese sticks
i decided it’s easier to just always stay under 1200 calories instead of doing those planned limits bc something about knowing what my exact limit is just stressed me
by i messed up today i went out with family tmrw is a new month tho gonna set goals for myself fuckskakakwlapqlqmwhavinganedisannoyingashell
8/30 799 TOTAL CALORIES
* 0cal coffee
* 0cal bang energy drink
* 24cal jolly rancher
* 275cal x2 sandwiches
* 150cal frosted flakes
* 140cal takis
* 80cal frosted flakes
* 95cal half a sandwich
* 35cal stir fried brocoli
okkk this is what i’m gonna try and do see how it goes…i also don’t wanna weigh myself until the end