✧ daylight ✧

[bodhirapps]

Kitty had always known exactly what to say to make Bodhi feel lighter, like she could sense when his thoughts were starting to spiral and gently pull him back before he sank too deep into them, and it was something he had quietly come to rely on over time. She had a sweet soul, he’d known that from the beginning, and it was the very reason they had clicked so naturally, both of them careful with each other’s feelings, always trying in small, consistent ways to lift the other up instead of dragging them down. “Letting the dust build up on them is a little bit disgusting, Kit,” he teased, a grin tugging at his lips as he gestured toward the neglected surfaces. “I can see why she might have been mad about that.” He chuckled softly, shaking his head as he took in the state of the place he was cleaning up. It wasn’t his home, so he didn’t feel the same responsibility for it, though his own space wasn’t exactly perfect either, there was always a layer of dog hair he battled to keep under control but it was at least cared for. Moving with purpose, Bodhi started higher up, clearing items down into two rough piles: one to keep, the other to throw. Some things, like the sturdier tables and chairs, could easily be donated, still perfectly usable despite the dust. At Kitty’s question, he paused briefly, raising an eyebrow before scoffing. “No. No girlfriend right now,” he said quickly. “It was my friend texting me a girl’s number. He said I need to get back out there instead of lingering on…” His words faltered, catching in his throat as he avoided finishing the thought, lingering on her. “I’m not interested. I’ve told him I’m not looking for love right now.” He glanced back at her, then added, “How about you? Are you seeing anyone?” before turning away, his cheeks warming as he busied himself with the next pile.

[kittywildcr]

“hey!” she laughed as he called her out for letting dust build up on her things. “i was living—” she stopped herself for a second, “i was living with you,” she sighed, taking a deep breath. “i didn’t exactly swing by my mom’s place to clean my room, so yeah, of course there’s dust there. not really my fault,” she pointed out, staring straight ahead for a moment. it had been months since she’d last stepped into the place she used to call home. “if anything, she should be mad at you, not me,” she added, trying to brush it off, not wanting things to feel more awkward than they already did. as she carefully packed things into boxes, she glanced over at bodhi, watching him clear things out the way he always did—quiet, steady. she had been thinking about asking who he’d been texting in the car, her mind running wild. maybe he was over her. maybe she was the only one still stuck, still in love, unsure if she’d ever stop feeling this way. when he said he wasn’t seeing anyone, something in her chest felt lighter. his friends trying to help him—that was good. she was glad he had that. she looked away when she felt his eyes on her, focusing back on the box. “not seeing anyone,” she echoed with a small nod. “i’ve got a lot to sort out,” she added, steering away from her love life—because the truth was, she still loved him. “i’m going on that annual ski trip with my mom, my stepdad, and sully,” she said, trying to keep things light. “i’m actually looking forward to it.” she smiled faintly. “remember when i begged you to let me bring the pup? i even got her those tiny snow boots so she wouldn’t freeze,” she laughed softly, though it hurt a little—because he had been there for her best moments. “i never brought you there,” she added quietly, voice trailing into a whisper. “that’s a promise i didn’t keep.” she swallowed, emotion creeping in before she could stop it. “i’m… gonna go to the living room,” she muttered, picking up a box. “maybe i won’t distract you there…”

[sullivan-wilder]

Sully nodded carefully as she talked about her ex. He didn’t flinch at the details, didn’t try to soften anything. “Right,” he said slowly, voice calm. “So you miss him. And you’re not dating him. You’re helping him pack. That makes sense. I understand. It sounds complicated to say the least." He paused a moment, studying her face. “You said it feels impossible to feel something for someone else. That’s clear. You’re being honest with yourself. That’s good.” He leaned back slightly. “I don’t have advice for that. Feelings aren’t like ski trips or schedules. But I hear you. I understand that part. Feelings hurt less with time, I think." Then she climbed onto his desk, and when he asked her to get down, Sully’s response was calm, precise. “Thank you,” he said simply. “For not disrupting the system too much. It’s easier to think when things are organised.” Sully rubbed the back of his neck, thinking for a moment before answering. “Right,” he said slowly, voice even but warm. “Other than planning the ski tri in my own head. I did watch a movie last weekend. Action movie. Explosions. Not very deep, but entertaining.” He shrugged, almost apologetic for the simplicity of the answer. He paused, then nodded. “Hockey too. Went to the rink with a couple of teammates. I scored one goal. Probably not impressive to anyone else, but it was fun.” He smiled faintly, letting the pride slip through in a quiet way. "So, movies, hockey, That’s what I’ve done. Not exciting, maybe, but it’s enough to feel like normal." Sully moved slowly, brushing his hands together, and walked over to his shelf to adjust a stack of decorations. He moved methodically, making sure everything was aligned properly, straightening the ornaments. As he reached for a small crate on the top shelf, his gaze flicked toward the window for a second, and a small, unprompted smile appeared. “Actually,” he said, voice low but conversational, “there was a customer at the farm the other evening. Came by to pick a Christmas trees. She was really pretty.” He paused, adjusting a small string of lights before continuing, almost as if reporting an observation. “Short. Brunette with lovely blonde highlights. Kind of hyper. Made me notice things I usually don’t. It’s hard to explain. But I thought she was nice to look at."

[kittywildcr]

kitty knew feelings were complicated, she had always felt that way, but letting them out helped, at least sullivan was a good listener even if there wasn’t much he could do. she was still in love with bodhi, no matter that they had broken up. it was hard, she missed him, she missed who she was when she was around him. "it is complicated," she nodded, "when we’re alone, somehow it feels like we never broke up, but then reality comes in between," she sighed. she walked around the office after she had jumped on his desk and he made her get off it. "yeah, organization, but what about my dramatic self?" she chuckled, sticking her tongue out playfully at her brother. she loved her relationship with sully, he was sweet and they were practically opposites. "movies don’t have to be deep," she pointed out, "if i want something deep… i don’t know any deep titles, i like my romcoms," she shrugged. kitty nodded at his words, a smile on her lips. "i’m glad you’re doing fine and your weeks are planned and perfect," she added, knowing how much sully loved that kind of thing. as her brother told her about the cute customer, kitty smiled. "oh really?" she tried not to scream. "i love how detail-oriented you are," she added before continuing, "she was cute, the opposite of your ex… why didn’t you ask her for her number?" she asked, "wait, did you give her your number?" she pressed again.

[sullivan-wilder]

Sully blinked at her smile, immediately recognising the tone. People used that tone when they thought he was being unintentionally funny. Teddy bears are dependable. That was statistically supported by the fact that children keep them for years. He straightened slightly. “Dependable is a positive trait,” he said in a very even voice. “If you make a T-shirt, I would prefer if it used a clean font. Nothing cursive. That reduces readability.” When she clarified the Santa joke, he nodded once. “I understood it was a joke,” he replied, though he hadn’t fully processed it at first. “Also, Santa delegating labor to elves would technically make him a manager, not lazy.” He paused. “But I won’t worry about it. He''s the decision maker and those elves work for him." At her confirmation that she was coming on the ski trip, his shoulders visibly relaxed. “Good,” he said, very straightforward. “I didn't need to re-plan the whole trip in my head again. You know how my brain works." When she mentioned still loving her ex, he went quiet for a few seconds, processing. Emotions were complicated variables. “If it’s complicated, then it’s unresolved,” he said carefully. “Unresolved situations tend to reappear at inconvenient times. I just don’t want you hurt.” His tone wasn’t dramatic, just factual. “But you’re allowed to feel however you feel. That’s yours to feel. Why don't you talk to him again?" At her threat about pushing him into the snow, he frowned slightly. “You wouldn't hockey tackle me. I don't even think you're strong enough." When she said he was growing, he looked away briefly, uncomfortable with praise but clearly absorbing it. “Growth is the goal,” he said. “Stagnation leads to regression.” After a moment, more quietly, “I am trying to live a little. Within reason.” As she sat on his desk and asked for news, he hesitated. His eyes shifted to the side, then back to her. Without raising his voice, he picked up the stack of papers in his hands and lightly, but firmly, whacked her on the side with them. “Off the desk,” he said flatly. “My paperwork is in order on there.” He gave her a look that was not angry, just deeply serious. “You are disrupting a system.” He thought about his work for a second, thinking it over. “The Christmas tree selling business is going well,” he said, tone precise. “People keep telling their friends to come and check us out which is nice."

[kittywildcr]

as he told her how the shirt should look, kitty groaned dramatically. “clean font? i’m making a shirt and i already have you here telling me how to do it,” she complained, though the amusement in her voice gave her away. “fine, i’ll make two—one with a cool font for me and one with arial for you so everyone can actually read it,” she nodded. she loved her brother, and there was something especially funny about the way he sometimes tried to process jokes a little too seriously. “leave the technicalities out of it, you’re making my joke not funny,” she pouted playfully. when she confirmed she was going on the trip, she noticed the way he visibly relaxed, which made her smile. “i know how that head of yours works,” she said softly. when he offered advice about her feelings, she nodded, the smile fading just a little. “it’s definitely unresolved,” she admitted. “i’ve been talking to him again… last week i helped him pack up his grandma’s things.” she sighed quietly. “i had to keep reminding myself we’re not dating. i really miss him… but i didn’t tell him that.” she rubbed her hands together absentmindedly. “i don’t even want to date anyone if it’s not him. it feels physically impossible to feel something for someone else.” after a second she shook her head lightly. “okay, i’m done talking about my feelings. i just needed to get it out—i feel better now,” she assured him. the shift back to the snow made her grin again. “honestly, i don’t even think you’re strong enough,” she teased. “smart beats strength anyway.” she smirked before nodding. “live a little, within reason… yeah, that sounds very you.” when sully asked her to get off the desk she immediately lifted her hands in surrender. “sorry for disrupting your system,” she laughed, sliding off. “so where am i allowed to sit if i want to ask that in a cool way?” she teased. then she nodded approvingly. “that’s good, sully. i’m proud of you for that,” she said before tilting her head. “but when people ask for news they usually want to hear about your life, not your work. so other than planning the ski trip… have you done anything fun? hockey? movies? hanging out with your friends?”

[bodhirapps]

Bodhi’s phone buzzed again, another number passed along by one of his friends no doubt, a girl they thought might pique his interest. He didn’t want to come across as ungrateful for their well-meaning efforts, even though he knew, deep down, it was meaningless. He previously had began drafting a text, his fingers hovering over the keys, the words forming and then disappearing as he backspaced the entire sentence, realizing with quiet certainty that he wasn’t interested in meeting anyone else—no one could ever be Kitty, no one could even come close, and he couldn’t bring himself to string someone along knowing he had no real intention or desire to pursue them. He leaned back against his car door, shaking his head with a chuckle as memories of his grandma quirks flitted through his mind, her way of sending texts that took her an hour to craft or calling just to ask how his day was and what he was doing tomorrow. “That was her thing,” he murmured, smiling, the nostalgia threading through him with a bittersweet warmth. Eventually, he wandered toward the house, each step slow and deliberate, trying to take it all in and hold himself back from letting his emotions get the better of him, until he saw Kitty’s hand reaching out toward him, warm and familiar, and he didn’t hesitate, interlacing their fingers together in a comforting, grounding gesture. “I’ll be okay. I’ll take a couple of deep breaths. I’m here to get something done. I’m not to go over my past feelings,” he murmured, confident that he could store his thoughts somewhere in his head for later, letting them wait until the proper time. He brushed his thumb lightly over her knuckles, a quiet gesture of connection, and offered, “Shall we start up high in the top rooms and leave the bottom rooms until last?” He wanted to do this properly, to make sure they finished efficiently with only a few boxes needing to be moved to the car at the end. As he walked ahead, he kept their hands together, stepping up the stairs one foot at a time, careful and deliberate. “Don’t mind the mess or dust. It’s been a small while,” he apologized, a soft smile on his lips.

[kittywildcr]

walking into that house felt heavier than bodhi probably expected, and kitty knew it; she’d insisted on coming not just because she missed being near him, but because she knew this goodbye would hurt. she watched him check his phone and reply to a text, and her chest tightened before she could stop herself—what if it was another girl? he deserved to move on. they weren’t together anymore. still, when his hand remained wrapped around hers as they walked up the path, her stomach twisted in confusion. was he just being kind because she’d reached first? what would his girl think—if there was one? “you’ll be fine. i’m here,” she murmured softly, offering a small reassuring smile when his thumb brushed over her knuckles. inside, she slipped off her shoes automatically, afraid that if she let go of his hand for too long, the fragile closeness between them would disappear again. “don’t worry,” she added gently. “you should’ve seen my room when i moved back to my mom’s… i told her not to touch anything. my desk turned gray from dust. it was disgusting,” she laughed quietly. “and then she yelled at me for it.” the humor faded as old memories crept in their ... his apartment, the pillows she’d picked out, the little pieces of her scattered through his space. had he thrown them away? donated them? upstairs, she finally let go of his hand to grab a cardboard box, kneeling on the floor and beginning to sort through a few items. the question had been sitting like a stone in her chest, and before she could soften it, she asked bluntly, “were you texting your girlfriend before?” her voice was calm, but her fingers stilled against the edge of the box as she avoided looking at him.

[sullivan-wilder]

Sully flushed immediately, ears going pink in a way that made him look caught. He adjusted his posture, shoulders squaring like that might help. He cleared his throat, clearly deciding to just say things instead of filing them away. “Okay—first of all,” he said, hands loosely clasped like he was organising himself, “Sullivan is not meant to be intimidating. My dad picked it because it sounded… dependable.” He paused, then added, quieter, “And teddy bears can be dependable.” When she called him a helper, he frowned thoughtfully. “Technically Santa is a symbolic leadership role,” he said, warming up despite himself. “The operation relies on helpers. Without them, the entire system collapses.” He stopped, realised he’d lost her, and sighed. When she finally said she was going, he went still for a beat. “Good,” he said, relief slipping through before he could stop it. “Because if you weren’t, I would’ve had to change all of my plans and I would've got a headache from all the stressing out I would'v been doing." At the mention of last year, his voice lowered. "Why would you feel bad? He's an ex for a reason, right? You go because you want to go there." Then she mentioned the board. He blinked. “You are not knocking me over on purpose,” he said, pointing lightly. “And I am not ‘eating snow.’ I’ve improved. Objectively.” A pause. “If I fall, it’ll be because conditions were bad. Or because you distracted me. Which you always do because you love to be better than me." Hudson smiled at that, small but genuine, the kind that lingered. He tapped his fingers against the edge of his desk in a steady rhythm, like he was counting beats instead of nerves. “Besides,” he said, glancing up at her, voice lighter than before, “I think I might actually try the slopes this time. Live a little.” He huffed a quiet laugh. “I’m used to keeping my feet planted—hockey kind of trains you that way, but maybe this time I let loose.” He shrugged, almost shy about it. “Worst case, I fall. Best case,” he added, smile widening just a touch, “I surprise myself.”

[kittywildcr]

as he argued about the meaning behind his name, kitty smiled, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at him the way people look at toddlers when they’re very seriously trying to make a point. she chuckled. “sure, sully. teddy bears are dependable,” she nodded, attempting to sound serious before laughing at her own words. “sullivan wilder, the dependable teddy bear… i should get you a t-shirt with that on it,” she teased. as he kept going with the santa joke, she realized he hadn’t caught it the way she’d expected and shook her head. “sure, sully, it was a joke. don’t worry about it. we all know santa is just a bearded man who’s lazy and makes elves do all the work,” she said with a grin. when he seemed relieved about her coming on the ski trip, she smiled warmly. “don’t worry that head of yours. you can plan everything like you always do, because your annoying sister is definitely coming,” she promised. at his comment about being an ex for a reason, she sighed. “i still love him, sully. that doesn’t change that i want to go on the trip with you, but it’s… complicated, i guess,” she admitted with a small shake of her head. “don’t worry about it. i don’t even know how i feel, if i’m being completely honest.” when he reacted to her eating-snow comment, she laughed. “i’ll push you so hard you’ll feel like you’re in a hockey match,” she teased, eyes widening dramatically like it was a threat. when he said he wanted to live a little, she nodded. “i’m glad. you’re growing,” she said softly, smiling. “i’m really glad you are, teddy. you’ll do great—i know it, sully.” she walked over and sat on his desk, tilting her head. “so… any news?”

[sullivan-wilder]

“For the record,” he said calmly, “my dad had never actually seen Monsters, Inc. He just thought Sullivan was a strong name. He does, however, regret the nickname situation now after seeing the movie.” A brief pause. At the Santa helper comment, he exhaled through his nose, something close to a laugh. “I am not a helper,” he replied, matter-of-fact. “I'm the boss, Kitty." He gestured vaguely to himself, as if this settled it. When she explained the treats, his expression shifted to recognition. “That tracks,” he said. “The density alone suggests overbaking combined with incorrect ingredient ratios." He picked one up, tested the weight, then set it back down carefully. “These could damage dental work. I don't know if I wanna risk it." At her permission to throw them out, he nodded. “Thank you. That removes the social obligation layer, which I appreciate.” Then, after a beat, “You don’t have to pay me. But I will still feel mildly guilty for about ten minutes. She worked hard on them and I'll feel a little bad." Her last question made him relax a little more, shoulders easing. “I’m doing… okay,” he said honestly. “It's busy but I thrive on busy.” He nodded again, firmer this time. “Yes, I’m taking the week off." He looked at her. “You are still coming, right?” he said, a bit too quickly, then paused and recalibrated. “I mean—statistically, you always do. But if you’re asking because you’re considering not coming, that changes the entire dynamic.” He frowned slightly, already running through outcomes. “The retreat is structured around us going together. The drive, the routine. If you bail, I will still go, obviously, but it will be… significantly worse. Socially and logistically.” He looked at her, earnest now, eyes still a touch too wide. He needed a concrete answer and pronto.

[kittywildcr]

kitty laughed at his words. “sullivan is a strong name?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at him. “yeah, that doesn’t fit you—you’re practically a teddy bear, the kind that blushes when he gets nervous,” she teased, a smile on her lips. “my mom chose katherine because it sounded posh, but here we are, basically named after monsters inc,” she chuckled. “you’re the boss, sure… are you santa? no, you’re not, so you’re a helper. you can’t win this argument, sullivan,” she smiled. “these could be thrown at an armored car and turn it to dust,” she mused. “she could read the instructions, but she says she’s smarter than the box,” kitty chuckled. she smiled at his words. “you’ve only thrived on busy,” she nodded, walking around her brother’s office, stopping to look through the little windows before turning back to him. she listened as he rambled about how her not going would affect the whole logistics of the trip, and she smiled. she could tell how much he needed her answer—the one that would either force him to change everything or keep the plan exactly as it had been from the start. “no, i’m going. of course i’m going,” she nodded. “i was just making sure you were—stupid question, considering… the logistics of it all,” she teased, a warm smile on her lips. “but of course, i wouldn’t miss it,” she added softly. “it’s not like last year, when i felt bad for going and not being around bodhi,” she mused, taking a deep breath. he was always in her mind, and it made the breakup harder every time she thought about it. “oh, and i got a new board—it’s so cute. i can’t wait to try it out. you’re going to eat so much snow, sully bear,” she smirked.

[sullivan-wilder]

Sully was halfway through counting a stack of crumpled bills when Kitty walked into the cabin. He looked up just in time to hear the nickname and immediately winced. “Ew—don’t call me that,” he said, lowering his voice instinctively and flicking a glance toward the small service window, even though no one was there at the moment. “Not in my office. This is a place of business. It’s weird.” He straightened, folding the cash neatly like that somehow restored order to the world. “Also I am not a ‘little’ anything. I’m—” he gestured vaguely to his height, then dropped it. “Never mind. I'm good.” When she lifted the tray, his expression shifted. He leaned forward, eyes focusing on the biscuits like they were a surprise he hadn’t prepared for. “… You shouldn’t have,” he said, tone flat but sincere. Then, after a second, “I mean that. Not in the polite way. In the literal way. Those look inedible." Sully picked up a biscuit, holding it like it was fragile. He broke off a small piece, peered at it and popped it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, trying to be polite - then his eyes widened and he sputtered slightly, spitting a little of it back out into his hand. “Wow… um,” he said, scratching the back of his neck, “tell… tell your mom thanks, Kitty. Really. For, uh… making these. That’s… very nice of her.” He gave a small, awkward smile, as if trying to smooth over the yack factor with charm. “I’ll… try one more later. Maybe.”

[kittywildcr]

as she heard his words, she smiled, clearly pleased with the nickname and already deciding she was going to keep using it. “not in my office, my place of business… whatever, sully, it’s not your fault your dad loved monsters inc, thank god he didn’t name you mike wazowski,” she smiled, giggling at her own joke. “you’re not little… your other massive hockey friends would be like, ‘is that what your mother said to me last night’ or whatever, but get over it, sully, you’re a little santa helper and i’m not changing the name just because you’re taller than me,” she added, sticking her tongue out at him childishly. at his reaction to the treats, she smiled again. “yeah, they’re hard as a fucking rock, your dad offered her some help but she said she could do it herself,” she mused, “same thing she said when she tried to make my grandma’s kimchi, and guess what, she managed to make a whole box of rotten vegetables,” she laughed. “don’t be polite, sully, we’ve known each other long enough to know these are the worst,” she smiled, “actually, she didn’t even send them to you, she gave them to me, but i’m a really nice sister so i figured i’d share,” she added, sitting on the office desk. “you can throw them out, i won’t look, i’ll even pay you to do it because i’d feel guilty otherwise,” she joked. “but anyway, how are you doing in this winter wonderland you’ve got going on? you’re taking that week off like we always do to go to the mountains, right?”

[kittywildcr]

kitty walked into the little space she had officially crowned as sully’s office at the christmas tree farm, a tray of biscuits from her mom balanced in her hands; they were homemade, though her mom wasn’t the best cook, so they looked a little wonky. “sulley-wulley,” she called out, having used the nickname ever since she realized he shared his name with the monster movie character. “how’s my little santa helper doing?” she smiled, laughing at her own words, especially considering he was noticeably taller than her. “i brought biscuits.” @sullivan-wilder

[bodhirapps]

Bodhi knew exactly what his friends thought—they’d made it clear more than once that he should have moved on by now, found someone new, maybe even hooked up with a few people just to shake Kitty out of his system. They said he needed someone different, someone nothing like her, but to Bodhi, Kitty wasn’t just some ex to forget—she was the blueprint, the definition of what perfect had looked like in his world. Even though things hadn’t worked out between them, it wasn’t because they didn’t care or because one of them had wronged the other. Their breakup had been mutual, quiet, and oddly respectful, the kind that left space for sadness rather than bitterness. Now, sitting behind the wheel with her beside him, the weight of pretending they were just friends settled heavy in his chest. He could feel the emotions creeping up, tightening his throat as he stared ahead and tried to act like it didn’t matter. Gulping, Bodhi forced himself into check, shifting the conversation to safer ground as he said, “She was a good woman. I loved my grandmother. She was more mobile when I was younger. She used to take me wherever I wanted. She treated me because I was always a good kid.” His voice was a little rough, not just from the memory of his grandmother but from the closeness of Kitty and the act he had to keep playing. But then she mentioned the dog—their dog—and Bodhi mentally cursed. Of course she wanted to see the dog. It had been theirs once, part of the life they’d tried to build, and now it was just his by default. He exhaled and admitted, “I thought we’d clean up and then head to mine for a bit so I can cook us some food. The dog is at my place.” He paused, running a hand through his hair before adding, “I didn’t want her running into all the boxes or hiding where we couldn’t find her in the big pile of mess.” His scoff was soft, almost self-deprecating. Pulling up outside the house, Bodhi undid his seatbelt and climbed out, every movement weighed down with memories he wasn’t sure he wanted to face. “Come on,” he said without looking back at her. “The sooner we start, the sooner we can finish.”

[kittywildcr]

kitty couldn’t say she had actively tried to move past bodhi; she had gone on a couple of dates because her friends pushed her to, but she wasn’t interested, they talked and kitty simply sighed, sometimes not even looking at them, her gaze fixed on her drink or on everything around them, not because she wanted to be bitchy but because that wasn’t what she wanted and she knew they weren’t bodhi. the breakup hadn’t been messy on either end, it had been silent and respectful, and maybe if it hadn’t been she wouldn’t be there yearning for someone she should have forgotten, someone who, to her, was the best person she had ever met or ever would. she wasn’t helping him because she felt pressured to, it was a mix of wanting to feel what it was like to be around him again and remembering the moments she had spent with his grandmother, that woman had always been kind to her even if she wasn’t part of the family. “she was really sweet,” she nodded, “i liked coming to see her,” she nodded again, “and she called me from time to time to check on me, which was great, she knew how to make people feel special,” she added, fondness in her voice. kitty took a long breath to keep herself from getting emotional, sat up straighter, and asked about the dog, it was an easier topic. “oh, yeah, maybe it’s better that way,” she nodded, “but you don’t have to cook for us, you know…” she sighed right after, already knowing what would come next, “but you like getting what you want, so i have no choice but to keep you happy,” she said softly, deep down just wanting to admit she wanted to go there to keep that small fantasy alive. as he pulled up, she looked ahead instead of at him, pressing her lips into a thin line. “let’s do it,” she murmured, opening the door and getting out of the car, starting to walk before stopping to wait for him. when he reached her side, she reached for his hand. “it’s going to be hard,” she said quietly, not looking at him, not wanting to know if there was a reaction to her touch or not, “but you can do it.”

[iknewitiknewyou]

[bodhirapps]

Bodhi tried not to stare, but it was hard—nearly impossible, really—because he had been in love with this girl for what felt like forever, and even now, sitting beside her again, it hit him like it always did: quiet, steady, and relentless. Their relationship had once been something beautiful, the kind of bond that felt effortless and deep, rooted in years of knowing each other too well and loving each other anyway. But life, as it often does, had other plans. It hadn’t ended with shouting or betrayal—just a slow unravelling of hopes that hadn’t lined up at the right time. Right people, wrong time. That thought clung to him like a shadow, especially now, when everything between them felt so calm but still carried the weight of what they’d lost. “In actual fact, they’ve always tasted great. It’s one of the only sweets that still taste the same after all these years,” he said, chewing gently, his tone soft, distracted, clinging to something simple as his fingers toyed with the wrapper. Some things changed, like people, like love—but not these sweets. When she mentioned the weather, or maybe it was her quiet refusal to wear his hoodie, a small frown tugged at his lips before he could stop it. He wasn’t sure why it hit a nerve, but he chose not to dwell on it, reaching for another sweet and popping it into his mouth. “She was a real great woman,” he said, shifting the conversation as he drove. “She pretty much helped me grow up. Like a second mother to me.” As they turned onto his grandmother’s street and he parked the car, the air between them felt heavier, fuller, like the pause before something important. He reached into the backseat, grabbed the hoodie, and held it out to her. “Pop it on,” he said, flashing her a lopsided smile. “I can deal with being drenched if the weather changes. You don’t want me sulking the whole time we’re here, do you?” he teased, his voice light but his eyes searching hers, hoping—just a little—that this small gesture meant something more.

[kittywildcr]

in that car, it felt like no time had passed. they were back on that little town street, like the same day bodhi almost ran the red light because he’d been looking at her instead of the road. the wind in her hair, the familiar hum of the engine—it was all the same, and kitty remembered it too well. she wondered if bodhi felt it too, if she wasn’t the only one who still cherished those moments, if she wasn’t the only one whose heart still beat for him and him alone. blair had tried setting her up on dates, people nothing like bodhi, but she couldn’t get over him. she had to resist the urge to keep glancing at him, eyes fixed on the road instead, though every time he spoke she felt pulled in. “sometimes, things don’t need to change to be good,” she murmured, her words carrying more weight than she wanted to admit. if she could go back, she would have fought harder for them, because she still loved him. when he talked about his grandmother, she couldn’t help smiling. “i can totally see that,” she sighed softly, “i wish i had met her sooner.” she noticed the way his lips tugged into a frown when she brushed off the hoodie, not because she didn’t want it, but because she was thinking about him being the one drenched. and as he reached into the backseat, she already knew what he was about to grab. when his deep brown eyes fixed on her, she couldn’t refuse. “i don’t,” she admitted simply, before slipping it on. it smelled like him, like he’d wrapped his arms around her, and the sleeves hung long on her hands as she scrunched them up. “thanks,” she said quietly, then, almost shyly, “by the way… where’s the baby? you promised she’d be here.”

[bodhirapps]

Bodhi had always been someone who worried about other people’s safety, often more than his own—it was just how he was wired. Whether it was making sure someone got home safe or watching someone’s step on uneven ground, he couldn’t help himself. As he drove, the cigarette rested between his lips, barely burning, his focus split between the road and Kitty beside him. When she asked if the sweets were still his favourite, a soft smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “They are my absolute favourites,” he admitted, voice tinged with nostalgia. “I haven’t had them in such a long time though.” He rarely found the time to go to the shops for things like that anymore, too busy, too tired, too distracted. But the fact that Kitty had thought of him, had remembered and brought him something he genuinely loved—it hit him in that quiet place that rarely got touched. It was just… sweet, in every sense. Trying not to let the moment get weird, Bodhi returned both hands to the steering wheel, steadying himself and the situation as he let Kitty pop the sweet into his mouth. His body reacted immediately to the taste, and a small, genuine giggle slipped out. “They still taste as good as ever,” he chuckled, clearly surprised by how strong the memory was. With a casual flick, he dropped the cigarette under his wheel and ran over it to put it out, before glancing sideways at her. His eyes briefly lingered on what she was wearing before softening with quiet concern. “When we get to my grandmother’s house, I’ll put you in my hoodie, okay? I don’t want what you’re wearing to get dusty,” he said, voice low and sincere. It wasn’t about style—it was about not wanting to ruin something of hers. “I mainly just need help putting things into boxes so I can move stuff in loads instead of one at a time,” he explained, eyes on the road now. “I’m sorry to reel you into this. I know it’s not a fun task, but I appreciate it more than you know.”

[kittywildcr]

kitty knew blair was going to tell her what she was doing was crazy, of course she was, she had told her plenty of times that if that relationship was over she should stop thinking about him, but she wasn’t over him. she couldn’t be. she noticed the way he drove, and it made her nostalgic, those first drives back in her last year of university, when he’d pick her up on friday nights after classes to go out. something she had missed. when he admitted those sweets were still his favorite she smiled, relieved. she popped one of the treats into his mouth and then got one for herself too. she didn’t glance at his hand but noticed how he dropped the cigarette. “they taste great,” she nodded, though she didn’t know if she had missed the taste or what came with it, that chuckle, that giggle that made kitty feel so warm inside, so alive. she didn’t want to say something she shouldn’t or overthink it all, so she grabbed another sour patch and bit into it, before hearing his voice again. she turned to look at him. “you don’t have to do that,” she promised, mostly because it would only make things harder for her. “these can go straight into the washing machine after today,” she added, not wanting him to worry, even if she knew he would. “you should reserve it, i heard this morning it was going to rain a lot later today, so keep something dry in the car just in case you get drenched,” she mused. she hadn’t gotten herself an umbrella either—really smart of her—but she was too focused on something else. “i accepted,” she cut him off, “it’s not disneyland but i wouldn’t say it’s not fun, i like thinking i’m going to relive your grandma’s life through memories.” she shrugged. “she was a really sweet woman.”

[bodhirapps]

@kittywildcr

Bodhi winced instinctively as Kitty ducked into the car, narrowly missing a painful collision with the roof. He shot out a hand to shield her head, his fingers brushing the edge just in time. “Kit,” he said, voice gentle but edged with concern, “be careful. You nearly hit your head off the top here.” With a small shake of his head, he closed the passenger door softly, making sure it clicked shut without a slam, then circled around to the driver’s side. Sliding in beside her, he settled into the seat with a practiced ease, rolling down his window to let the smoke out as he lit a cigarette. At the mention of snacks, his gaze flicked toward her with a mix of curiosity and mild disbelief. “You got me sour patches?” he asked, eyebrows lifting, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as his whole expression brightened. “Are they already open? My stomach's rumbling.” He chuckled, fumbling briefly with the ignition before the engine growled to life. As he began reversing from the parking space, his arm slid automatically across the back of her seat to look behind them — a familiar habit — but the moment struck him as oddly intimate, and he pulled his arm back with a sheepish smile. “Sorry,” he murmured, eyes flicking to hers with a small laugh, “that was instinct.”

[kittywildcr]

it all happened so fast, his hand moving to shield her head as she slipped inside, and she caught the edge of concern in his eyes, it was clear she hadn’t controlled the way she got in—it hadn’t been smooth at all. “yeah, thanks,” she said softly. as he walked to the other side she cursed under her breath, “idiot,” not to bodhi, but to herself. he rolled the windows down and she had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him smoking wasn’t good for him. “they’re still your favorite, right?” she asked, raising her eyebrows as she showed him the sweets, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “they’re not, open” she teased, but he didn’t even have to ask—she was already opening the bag by the time he started the engine. she was about to fish out a gummy when his arm slid across the back of her seat. her breath caught. he noticed. he pulled it away. “don’t be,” she shook her head quickly. this was harder than she’d expected, not because they hated each other, but because every second of it felt like nothing had happened, and she had to keep dragging herself back to reality. she waited until he was driving to speak. “here,” she mused, holding one of the sweets up to his mouth, just like she’d done a million times before when he was behind the wheel. once he took it, she popped one into her own mouth. “i haven’t had any of these since … you know,” she confessed, her voice softer now. “i missed them.” she missed him.

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi tapped his foot against the floor, a subtle rhythm of nerves that only surfaced when he felt uneasy, the cigarette perched between his parted lips adding to the image of someone trying to stay composed yet visibly on edge. Smoking always helped him shed the weight of stress, but being around Kitty wasn’t stress—it was something far more tangled, a remnant of what they used to be: lovers, maybe, now friends? Friends with feelings? Bodhi couldn’t put a label on it, and that uncertainty gnawed at him, sharpening his awareness of every movement she made. Yet when her voice reached him, a smile tugged at his lips almost reflexively, warm and unguarded despite the tension threading through him. “Yeah, yeah, of course,” he said smoothly, then glanced toward her with a touch of concern. “Do you have anything to go in the trunk of the car?” True to his naturally gentlemanly ways, he walked to the passenger side, opening the door for her with an easy grace, silently asserting that he wouldn’t let her lift a finger around him—some things, after all, hadn’t changed, and he wasn’t about to start now. "You look cute," he said out loud before mentally cursing at himself. "Can I say that?" He said, mentally cursing at himself a second time because words simply slipped out of his lips.

[kittywildcr]

kitty sighed as she stepped out of her mother’s place, seeing him there waiting was something she had promised herself wouldn’t happen again, but there he was—just like the first time he’d ever picked her up. only now, things were different. they’d been through a breakup, and this… this was something she didn’t even know how to label. at his question, she shook her head, glancing down at the box in her hands. “i don’t want these getting ruined,” she murmured, careful as he opened the door for her. her brown eyes flicked up to meet his before she slipped inside, overthinking so much she almost hit her head on the doorframe. she set the treats on her lap, her bag at her feet, and clicked her seatbelt into place, trying to act natural though her nerves betrayed her. when he made his comment, kitty turned toward him, cheeks warming. “i guess,” she said with a small shrug, “only if you mean them.” a sigh slipped from her lips before she smirked softly, her tone playful as her eyes lingered on him. “i got you your favorite treat… can i do that?”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi drove toward Kitty’s mother’s place with an ease that came from familiarity, the route etched into him like second nature, a path he knew as well as the back of his hand. He wasn’t someone who was there every day, but he had made the trip enough times—dropping Kitty off after visits, turning up for big family dinners—that the streets and turns carried a sense of comfort. Bodhi didn't like big social situations. He was friendly but he didn't know what to say to people sometimes. He was always polite and put his best foot forward. Today, though, he knew he had his work cut out for him, the thought of making his grandmother’s place spotless for his aunt sitting firmly on his shoulders. Glancing down at his mobile phone, he hesitated, the silence between him and Kitty stretching longer than he liked. He typed out a message, deleted it, rewrote it, then finally settled on the simple honesty of: I’m outside if you still want to help today? If not just let me know. With the text sent, he leaned against the hood of his car, the metal warm beneath him, and slipped a cigarette between his lips. The smoke curled lazily into the air as he took a slow drag, a small pause before the work ahead, though in his mind he’d already decided—this would be his only one. He didn’t want to smoke for the rest of the day, and so he savoured it, standing there in the stillness, waiting.

[kittywildcr]

kitty wasn’t someone who liked getting up early, she would always rather stay in bed until late, but that morning she woke up, showered, and sat in the kitchen scrolling through her phone, waiting for his message. she hated how little control she had, how she couldn’t just play it cool and pretend she wasn’t overly excited to meet him. her mom was cooking, the radio had gone quiet in the background, and kitty just waited. when bodhi’s name finally lit up her screen she dropped the phone on the counter, and her mom turned with an amused smile. “kitty, that shouldn’t be your reaction to a message from him,” she teased, shaking her head. “he’s outside, i’ll be back later,” kitty said quickly, grabbing her things along with the baked goods she’d bought that morning. “i love you,” she added, kissing her mom’s cheek. “love you too,” her mom replied as she headed for the door. slipping on her shoes, kitty glanced outside and saw him leaning against the hood of his car, a cigarette in hand—she had missed that sight, even though she was always the one reminding him smoking wasn’t good for him. she hadn’t replied to his text, but showing up was answer enough. walking toward him, she smiled softly. “hey there, stranger,” she said, “ready to go?”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi could feel it deep down near the end of his relationship with Kitty—that slow fizzling out that happens not because the love is gone, but because life has a way of pulling two people in different directions. He still cared for her deeply, that much was never in question, but his long hours at work left him drained, and he simply didn’t have enough time to give her what he wished he could. It wasn’t fair to keep her waiting in the background of his life, because to him, a relationship wasn’t about putting someone on the backburner. Still, even with little money to his name, he refused to let her go without, pulling a couple of twenties from his pocket and sliding them across the table toward her with a soft but insistent, “I can afford it. You know I don’t like being told no, so don’t upset me now,” using a playful guilt trip to nudge her into taking it. The bar was quiet that evening, so he busied himself toweling down glasses, his movements calm and unhurried, before leaning back and glancing over at her. “Alright. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning if you’re down. If you change your mind just drop me a text and I’ll go on my own. It’s no biggie if you can’t make it,” he said, thinking about how much he wanted to tidy up his grandmother’s cluttered place for his aunt’s sake, to make sure it felt like home instead of chaos. After a while, he leaned over the bar, his hand resting gently on Kitty’s, grounding her with his touch. “Go drink. Have fun. I’ll pick you up tomorrow. Just don’t get too hungover,” he teased softly, his voice warm despite the weariness. “It’s okay. I’m working anyway.” He gave her hand a small squeeze, his smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It’s been real nice seeing you, Kitkat,” he winked, the old nickname falling from his lips with ease, before adding, “Go have fun with your girls. I’ll pick you up tomorrow. I might bring Stormi so you two can reconnect.”

[kittywildcr]

kitty hated how much it still hurt to see him, hated the way the breakup had carved something deep in her chest that never seemed to heal, and worst of all, she hated knowing she’d never really get over him. seeing bodhi now made everything feel the same as it used to, her heart slipping into old rhythms like nothing had changed, but the truth was they weren’t together anymore—she wasn’t going to sit at the bar until he finished so they could walk home, grab takeout, and curl up on the couch until sleep took one of them. those little rituals were gone, and the ache of missing them was almost unbearable. when he slid money across the table, she instantly shook her head, regretting that she’d even opened her mouth about it. “bodhi,” she said softly, his name catching in her throat, eyes flicking from the bills back to him. she sighed, not wanting to upset him, though it didn’t feel right taking it either. finally, she gave in, sliding the money into her phone case—the same spot where, once, she’d tucked a photo of him, proudly showing everyone she was his. “thanks,” she murmured, her chest tightening as the words left her. “i’ll tell her the present’s from both of us.” that stung, even more than she expected. but when he accepted her help, she managed a small smile. “i can make it,” she promised, nodding. “just call me when you’re outside my mom’s and i’ll come down to meet you.” she was glancing toward the girls when she suddenly felt his hand slip over hers, the warmth of it sending her heart pounding so hard she swore it might echo through her ribs. she looked at him, and for that fleeting second it was like no time had passed, like they were still them. “okay,” she whispered, her lips curving into a smile as he gave her hand a squeeze and then flashed her that same smile that always undid her. “it’s been really nice,” she said, voice steadier than she felt. “i’ll see you tomorrow. bye, bodhi.” her smile only grew, cheeks warming as she dug into her bag, pulling out her purse to slide a few bills into the tip jar. glancing back at him once more, her face burned with a familiar blush. “you’re still my favourite bartender, bodhi bear,” she teased softly before finally walking back toward her friends, her pulse still racing.

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi felt a little intimidated under Kitty’s stare, her eyes cutting through him in a way that made his insides feel like goo, vulnerable and exposed, though he tried not to let it show; the truth was, he wasn’t over her—far from it. Their breakup still lingered like a fresh wound that he was learning to live with, the ache softening day by day but never fully gone, and he had stopped thinking about his life in terms of years ahead, choosing instead to take it one day at a time. If losing her had taught him anything, it was that nothing was promised, the future could unravel in a week or flip upside down overnight, so why waste energy on things too far away to hold onto? Clearing his throat, he offered quietly, “If she needs anything, like baby clothes or nappies, I don’t mind passing you over some money to help with all that,” his voice carrying the weight of sincerity. Bodhi had always been a people person. He cared deeply for people. He took a slow sip from his own drink as Kitty mentioned helping him with his grandma’s place, his eyes softening at the gesture before curiosity tugged him toward her glass—he leaned over, took a small sip of her drink, then slid it back across the table with a faint, fleeting smile. “I’m heading there tomorrow,” he admitted, lowering his voice just slightly. “You free tomorrow?” His gaze drifted toward Kitty’s friends nearby, his jaw tightening when he caught one of them shooting sharp looks in his direction. “You should get back to those lot soon,” he muttered with a scoff. “That big mouth is going to say something soon. Her dirty looks are aimed in my direction.”

[kittywildcr]

kitty listened to bodhi, torn between how much she was enjoying talking to him and the constant reminder in the back of her mind that she had to keep him at arm’s length—because if she didn’t, she knew herself well enough to know she’d convince herself everything was good again, and then regret it all later. but seeing him there made it harder; she could never really erase him, not when she was sure a part of her heart would always belong to him, her first real love, the one she’d loved so deeply it was impossible to forget. when he offered, her eyes widened. “oh no, no no, i can’t let you do that,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “you need the money, i’ll find my own way, don’t worry. i’ll figure out a plan, i guess i like those anyway,” she added with a shrug, trying to brush it off, hoping he’d drop the idea of giving her anything. when he accepted her drink, it sent a sharp pang through her chest, a painful flash of memory she wasn’t ready for. “hmm… tomorrow’s saturday, right? yeah,” she nodded, forcing a small smile. “i can be there in the morning.” her heart was pounding, loud in her ears. when he mentioned her friends, she glanced back toward the group at the bar, remembering she wasn’t supposed to just be sitting here talking to him like they used to. they weren’t together anymore, and she was technically here with zara’s friends. “i told zara i wasn’t really feeling like going out, but you know, college students are annoying,” she chuckled, though it felt a little forced. she bit her lip, sighing. “i honestly didn’t feel like coming, and i don’t feel like getting drunk with them today,” she admitted, shaking her head. her eyes softened when they met his, sadness slipping through as she exhaled again. “i honestly don’t even know what i should do now.”