all of the time, you wasted being mad

[kittywildcr]

kitty wasn’t someone who liked getting up early, she would always rather stay in bed until late, but that morning she woke up, showered, and sat in the kitchen scrolling through her phone, waiting for his message. she hated how little control she had, how she couldn’t just play it cool and pretend she wasn’t overly excited to meet him. her mom was cooking, the radio had gone quiet in the background, and kitty just waited. when bodhi’s name finally lit up her screen she dropped the phone on the counter, and her mom turned with an amused smile. “kitty, that shouldn’t be your reaction to a message from him,” she teased, shaking her head. “he’s outside, i’ll be back later,” kitty said quickly, grabbing her things along with the baked goods she’d bought that morning. “i love you,” she added, kissing her mom’s cheek. “love you too,” her mom replied as she headed for the door. slipping on her shoes, kitty glanced outside and saw him leaning against the hood of his car, a cigarette in hand—she had missed that sight, even though she was always the one reminding him smoking wasn’t good for him. she hadn’t replied to his text, but showing up was answer enough. walking toward him, she smiled softly. “hey there, stranger,” she said, “ready to go?”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi tapped his foot against the floor, a subtle rhythm of nerves that only surfaced when he felt uneasy, the cigarette perched between his parted lips adding to the image of someone trying to stay composed yet visibly on edge. Smoking always helped him shed the weight of stress, but being around Kitty wasn’t stress—it was something far more tangled, a remnant of what they used to be: lovers, maybe, now friends? Friends with feelings? Bodhi couldn’t put a label on it, and that uncertainty gnawed at him, sharpening his awareness of every movement she made. Yet when her voice reached him, a smile tugged at his lips almost reflexively, warm and unguarded despite the tension threading through him. “Yeah, yeah, of course,” he said smoothly, then glanced toward her with a touch of concern. “Do you have anything to go in the trunk of the car?” True to his naturally gentlemanly ways, he walked to the passenger side, opening the door for her with an easy grace, silently asserting that he wouldn’t let her lift a finger around him—some things, after all, hadn’t changed, and he wasn’t about to start now. "You look cute," he said out loud before mentally cursing at himself. "Can I say that?" He said, mentally cursing at himself a second time because words simply slipped out of his lips.

[lexigraham]

lexi walked into the bar like she owned the place—like she always did. she’d spent countless moments there, but tonight she’d begged him to meet her at a time he wasn’t working. of course, she was late, she always was, but the wide grin on her face said she didn’t care one bit. the second she spotted him, her smile grew even wider. “hey, girl,” she greeted, sliding onto the seat beside him like it was hers. “you knew i was gonna be late, you could’ve ordered already,” she teased, leaning in playfully. “i wanted to ask you things, but i figure it’s only fair to get you drunk first. do they even have food here that isn’t just fries?” @bodhi-rapp

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi kept glancing at his watch, the subtle tick of each second sharpening his impatience, a tell-tale sign of how meticulously he lived by the clock, every minute scheduled and accounted for, while his best friend, Lexi, was famously the opposite—chaotic, unpredictable, and always late. Despite his usual exasperation, his chest lifted and a grin spread across his face the moment he spotted her weaving through the restaurant, and he quickly budged up in the booth to make room. Handing the menu across to the blonde, he chuckled, shaking his head with amused affection. “They serve a whole lot more than fries here, the fries are just the only good thing that taste good,” he laughed, his voice carrying a warm, teasing tone. Scanning the QR code on the table, he passed his phone over to Lexi, tilting his head with a grin. “Pick what you want. It’s on me,” he said, the gesture casual but full of genuine care, his eyes lighting up as he waited to see what she would choose.

[kittywildcr]

kitty hated how much it still hurt to see him, hated the way the breakup had carved something deep in her chest that never seemed to heal, and worst of all, she hated knowing she’d never really get over him. seeing bodhi now made everything feel the same as it used to, her heart slipping into old rhythms like nothing had changed, but the truth was they weren’t together anymore—she wasn’t going to sit at the bar until he finished so they could walk home, grab takeout, and curl up on the couch until sleep took one of them. those little rituals were gone, and the ache of missing them was almost unbearable. when he slid money across the table, she instantly shook her head, regretting that she’d even opened her mouth about it. “bodhi,” she said softly, his name catching in her throat, eyes flicking from the bills back to him. she sighed, not wanting to upset him, though it didn’t feel right taking it either. finally, she gave in, sliding the money into her phone case—the same spot where, once, she’d tucked a photo of him, proudly showing everyone she was his. “thanks,” she murmured, her chest tightening as the words left her. “i’ll tell her the present’s from both of us.” that stung, even more than she expected. but when he accepted her help, she managed a small smile. “i can make it,” she promised, nodding. “just call me when you’re outside my mom’s and i’ll come down to meet you.” she was glancing toward the girls when she suddenly felt his hand slip over hers, the warmth of it sending her heart pounding so hard she swore it might echo through her ribs. she looked at him, and for that fleeting second it was like no time had passed, like they were still them. “okay,” she whispered, her lips curving into a smile as he gave her hand a squeeze and then flashed her that same smile that always undid her. “it’s been really nice,” she said, voice steadier than she felt. “i’ll see you tomorrow. bye, bodhi.” her smile only grew, cheeks warming as she dug into her bag, pulling out her purse to slide a few bills into the tip jar. glancing back at him once more, her face burned with a familiar blush. “you’re still my favourite bartender, bodhi bear,” she teased softly before finally walking back toward her friends, her pulse still racing.

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi drove toward Kitty’s mother’s place with an ease that came from familiarity, the route etched into him like second nature, a path he knew as well as the back of his hand. He wasn’t someone who was there every day, but he had made the trip enough times—dropping Kitty off after visits, turning up for big family dinners—that the streets and turns carried a sense of comfort. Bodhi didn't like big social situations. He was friendly but he didn't know what to say to people sometimes. He was always polite and put his best foot forward. Today, though, he knew he had his work cut out for him, the thought of making his grandmother’s place spotless for his aunt sitting firmly on his shoulders. Glancing down at his mobile phone, he hesitated, the silence between him and Kitty stretching longer than he liked. He typed out a message, deleted it, rewrote it, then finally settled on the simple honesty of: I’m outside if you still want to help today? If not just let me know. With the text sent, he leaned against the hood of his car, the metal warm beneath him, and slipped a cigarette between his lips. The smoke curled lazily into the air as he took a slow drag, a small pause before the work ahead, though in his mind he’d already decided—this would be his only one. He didn’t want to smoke for the rest of the day, and so he savoured it, standing there in the stillness, waiting.

[kittywildcr]

kitty listened to bodhi, torn between how much she was enjoying talking to him and the constant reminder in the back of her mind that she had to keep him at arm’s length—because if she didn’t, she knew herself well enough to know she’d convince herself everything was good again, and then regret it all later. but seeing him there made it harder; she could never really erase him, not when she was sure a part of her heart would always belong to him, her first real love, the one she’d loved so deeply it was impossible to forget. when he offered, her eyes widened. “oh no, no no, i can’t let you do that,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “you need the money, i’ll find my own way, don’t worry. i’ll figure out a plan, i guess i like those anyway,” she added with a shrug, trying to brush it off, hoping he’d drop the idea of giving her anything. when he accepted her drink, it sent a sharp pang through her chest, a painful flash of memory she wasn’t ready for. “hmm… tomorrow’s saturday, right? yeah,” she nodded, forcing a small smile. “i can be there in the morning.” her heart was pounding, loud in her ears. when he mentioned her friends, she glanced back toward the group at the bar, remembering she wasn’t supposed to just be sitting here talking to him like they used to. they weren’t together anymore, and she was technically here with zara’s friends. “i told zara i wasn’t really feeling like going out, but you know, college students are annoying,” she chuckled, though it felt a little forced. she bit her lip, sighing. “i honestly didn’t feel like coming, and i don’t feel like getting drunk with them today,” she admitted, shaking her head. her eyes softened when they met his, sadness slipping through as she exhaled again. “i honestly don’t even know what i should do now.”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi could feel it deep down near the end of his relationship with Kitty—that slow fizzling out that happens not because the love is gone, but because life has a way of pulling two people in different directions. He still cared for her deeply, that much was never in question, but his long hours at work left him drained, and he simply didn’t have enough time to give her what he wished he could. It wasn’t fair to keep her waiting in the background of his life, because to him, a relationship wasn’t about putting someone on the backburner. Still, even with little money to his name, he refused to let her go without, pulling a couple of twenties from his pocket and sliding them across the table toward her with a soft but insistent, “I can afford it. You know I don’t like being told no, so don’t upset me now,” using a playful guilt trip to nudge her into taking it. The bar was quiet that evening, so he busied himself toweling down glasses, his movements calm and unhurried, before leaning back and glancing over at her. “Alright. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning if you’re down. If you change your mind just drop me a text and I’ll go on my own. It’s no biggie if you can’t make it,” he said, thinking about how much he wanted to tidy up his grandmother’s cluttered place for his aunt’s sake, to make sure it felt like home instead of chaos. After a while, he leaned over the bar, his hand resting gently on Kitty’s, grounding her with his touch. “Go drink. Have fun. I’ll pick you up tomorrow. Just don’t get too hungover,” he teased softly, his voice warm despite the weariness. “It’s okay. I’m working anyway.” He gave her hand a small squeeze, his smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It’s been real nice seeing you, Kitkat,” he winked, the old nickname falling from his lips with ease, before adding, “Go have fun with your girls. I’ll pick you up tomorrow. I might bring Stormi so you two can reconnect.”

[kittywildcr]

it was stupid but talking to him felt so good, like nothing had happened, even though he had every right not to want to talk to her, yet there he was. she caught herself looking at him the way she used to, her brown eyes locked on him as he worked, as she spoke, a sharp ache pressing against her chest as she wondered what might have happened if they hadn’t called it quits. would things be easier? she knew her days would’ve been brighter, knowing her favorite part was always going home to him and his dog. she loved her time with him in a way she didn’t think anyone else could ever fill, and truthfully, she didn’t want them to. bodhi reacted to her sister’s news the same way she had when her sister first told her. “yeah, that was exactly my reaction,” she nodded, “i will, she’ll be happy to hear from you,” kitty admitted, her voice softening, “she asked for you actually.” she could’ve kept that to herself, but it slipped out before she could stop it. she noticed the shift in his expression immediately, as easy as always for her to read. “she was the sweetest woman ever,” she agreed with a sigh, “but those little things, they had meaning to her, so i get why she collected them.” her lips curved into a faint smile. “oh, i don’t think i can take away her books, i’d feel bad, those were hers,” kitty assured gently. when he refilled her drink she returned the gesture with a soft smile. “thanks,” she murmured, “i know you weren’t going to let me pay.” for a moment she stayed quiet, hesitating as she debated whether what she was about to say sounded stupid. “would you like some help fixing your grandma’s place?” she asked softly, she was being a nice ex, right?. “i’d like to say goodbye to it too, and this way i can pay you back for the drinks.” she gave a little shrug, sliding her glass closer toward him. “as healthy as that free water is, you should have some.”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi felt a little intimidated under Kitty’s stare, her eyes cutting through him in a way that made his insides feel like goo, vulnerable and exposed, though he tried not to let it show; the truth was, he wasn’t over her—far from it. Their breakup still lingered like a fresh wound that he was learning to live with, the ache softening day by day but never fully gone, and he had stopped thinking about his life in terms of years ahead, choosing instead to take it one day at a time. If losing her had taught him anything, it was that nothing was promised, the future could unravel in a week or flip upside down overnight, so why waste energy on things too far away to hold onto? Clearing his throat, he offered quietly, “If she needs anything, like baby clothes or nappies, I don’t mind passing you over some money to help with all that,” his voice carrying the weight of sincerity. Bodhi had always been a people person. He cared deeply for people. He took a slow sip from his own drink as Kitty mentioned helping him with his grandma’s place, his eyes softening at the gesture before curiosity tugged him toward her glass—he leaned over, took a small sip of her drink, then slid it back across the table with a faint, fleeting smile. “I’m heading there tomorrow,” he admitted, lowering his voice just slightly. “You free tomorrow?” His gaze drifted toward Kitty’s friends nearby, his jaw tightening when he caught one of them shooting sharp looks in his direction. “You should get back to those lot soon,” he muttered with a scoff. “That big mouth is going to say something soon. Her dirty looks are aimed in my direction.”

[kittywildcr]

bodhi was nothing like the people she had dated in the past, not to mention it had been the longest relationship she had ever been in. her past boyfriends had never made her feel loved, never made her feel like she mattered the way bodhi did. comparing people wasn’t nice but, in the case of bodhi, everyone else faded into the background. he could keep his feelings guarded, but even with that she had never felt the way she did with him. the split had messed her up, she wasn’t the same girl anymore even if she tried to hold herself up as before, always smiling, always happy—that used to be who she was, even if it was fake, but now it wasn’t true at all. she felt like a liar. kitty never meant to make their nights heavier by going to the bar, but even if it hurt there was something comforting in knowing she would probably leave heartbroken by the end of it. she had almost forgotten they weren’t together, the way he smiled and teased her made her chest tighten. this wasn’t like before, she kept repeating to herself, trying to lower the energy in her reactions—it wouldn’t be good if she kept it up the way it had been before, she didn’t want to hurt either of them. “you do know me,” she nodded, the weight of her words lingering in the air. when she meant something, she could be transparent, open with everyone, but she had never felt understood until bodhi. at his question kitty didn’t know whether to keep the usual mask of i’m good after the breakup or be honest. “hmmm, what have i been doing?” she echoed, trying to arrange the words in her mind. “that’s a good question,” she nodded again, “i’ve been working and honestly that’s it.” kitty shrugged, swirling the cup in her hands. “oh, well, my sister came home with her boyfriend and she’s going to have a baby,” she nodded, “she wants to celebrate a baby shower at my mom’s place and asked me to help with decorations because dean’s taste is awful and she wants it to be a surprise,” she said softly. should she tell him her sister had asked about him? that she hadn’t seen kitty in a while and could tell she wasn’t the same? “so i need to do that, which is exciting, but i don’t even know where to start,” she admitted. “but yeah, that’s it—work, and my sister and her boyfriend are home so the house is packed.” she chuckled softly. “what about you? still working way too much? you probably are,” she mused, taking her drink to her lips and finishing it easily. “harrison could probably stop flirting long enough to actually help you out, that guy’s body count is becoming biblical,” she chuckled. “can i ask you for another kitty special? but i’ll pay, and don’t you dare swipe that card or i’ll talk to your manager.”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi could count all the girlfriends he’d had in his life on one hand, and even then, it wasn’t a full hand—he’d never been the type to bounce from one girl to the next. Kitty was different from every relationship that came before; she wasn’t just another girl, she was the one that had made it feel real for him, the one that truly mattered. With her, he had cared in a way that went deeper than he thought himself capable of, and the breakup had shaken him hard, leaving a hole where his comfort used to be. He missed the simple joys: coming home from work and being greeted with her warmth, cuddling into her, kissing her, letting her chatter about her day fill the air. He used to just sit and listen, sometimes in silence, sometimes with small nods and smiles, letting her voice roll on for hours because it was one of his favourite things—the way her excitement lit up her words and made the little things feel like big moments. When she casually mentioned that her sister was pregnant, his eyes widened in surprise. “Oh damn. She is? Pass on my congrats,” he said with a genuine smile before taking a sip of the free water in front of him, his throat dry from talking more than he’d realized. But when Kitty flipped the question back on him, his expression shifted, an eyebrow arching as he admitted, “I’ve been dealing with work, and then other than that I’ve been trying to sort out my grandma’s place since she passed. I’m fixing it up for my aunt, who wants to live closer to home. You know what my grandma was like—she loved collecting things. She has tons of books though. If you ever want to look through her collection, you’re more than welcome.” As he spoke, he reached across the table, pouring her another drink without hesitation, sliding his card across again before she could even think about paying. “You know I won’t let you pay,” he said with a grin, his tone playful but firm. “That’s not who I am, and you know that.”

[kittywildcr]

kitty and bodhi were what she liked to think of as opposites that attract, he kept his feelings buried deep while she wore hers like neon lights, he seemed untouchable where she was paper-thin, he was midnight rain and she was sunshine—and maybe that was why she had fallen so hard, because somehow she’d been able to slip through his walls and find the version of him that wasn’t for everyone else, the one she had missed every single day since; thinking about him still ached, texting him was something she had to physically stop herself from doing, leaving her phone under her mom’s watch like it was cursed, but nothing stopped the memories—his voice, his smile, the quiet way they could just exist together; she’d tried to move on but he was her first real love, the kind that left permanent marks, and sitting there now across from him, watching him make her a drink that was definitely not the cheap order she’d asked for, something pink and sweet like people always described her, it was impossible not to feel everything all at once, her chest too tight, her hands unsteady as the glass slid toward her; “bodhi…” she breathed, more to herself than him, and the small smile tugging at her lips when she thanked him already gave away how much she had missed this, missed him; the first sip was perfect, dangerously perfect, and she tried so hard to keep it cool but a laugh slipped out, her head shaking, “this is freaking amazing, they should add it for sure,” she admitted with a nervous grin, though her voice softened when she repeated, “it’s really good,” and then, before she could stop herself, the truth fell out like it had been waiting all along, “this is honestly really hard… i don’t know what to do or say.”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi had always been so much like his father, a man who kept his feelings locked away behind a quiet exterior, holding everything in until the pressure became too much and it all came spilling out in a single flood. He was like a bubble, intact until something sharp brushed against him, and then he burst all at once. Without Kitty, life felt hollow, as if something vital had been removed from his chest, leaving only an ache where her presence used to be. Their relationship had once been filled with warmth and ease, but near the end it had slowly fizzled, and though he understood why, the absence still cut deeply. Nights after his shifts were the hardest—his apartment empty, stripped of the sound of her laughter, her voice, her movement—leaving him only with his dog for company, which was both comforting and heart-breaking. When Kitty reacted to the drink he had made with that familiar spark in her eyes, Bodhi couldn’t stop the big goofy grin that spread across his face, teasing lightly, “I knew you’d like it. I knew it would be a bit of you,” because he still liked to believe he knew her better than anyone, that they understood each other at the core even if life had pulled them apart. In his heart, it felt like a right person, wrong time story, and sometimes he feared he had held her back more than he’d ever lifted her up, a thought that kept him on edge even now. As he wiped down glasses and polished the bar, stealing moments just to linger in her company, he tried to bridge the gap that time and distance had created, his voice steady but tinged with longing. “How about you tell me about you, and what you’ve been doing lately?” he asked, wanting to draw her out, to listen to every detail of the life she’d lived without him. “Have you been working on anything? Seen your family? Been on any nice trips?” He needed to hear it all—the little stories, the missed adventures, the pieces of her life that had unfolded while he was no longer by her side—just to feel close to her again, even if only for a moment.

[kittywildcr]

when she wished bodhi wasn’t there, it was just her way of trying to protect herself from feeling lost. things hadn’t been the same without him in her life, and not only because she was living with her mom now—everything just felt heavier, harder. those little things she used to cherish had turned into distractions, small habits she clung to in order to ignore the space he’d left behind. but being there, facing him, was so much harder than she had ever imagined. she wasn’t just talking to someone who had slipped out of her life, she was talking to the person her heart had never been able to let go of. sometimes she still bought his favorite things out of muscle memory, and every time it hit her like a punch in the chest. when he repeated the word loved, her heart cracked, his breaking voice making her own chest ache. when he described what a good relationship should be, especially when it came to problems, she sighed, wondering if maybe she hadn’t tried hard enough—what if they had made a mistake? as he picked up the tray and walked away, kitty bit down on the inside of her cheek so hard she tasted the faintest trace of blood. she stood frozen for a few seconds, unable to move, her body refusing to follow him right away. instead, she drifted back to the group of university students waiting for her, trying to mask her expression with a smile, but zara saw straight through it. it was clear she wasn’t in the mood to be there. "i have something to solve over there, do you mind if i join you later?" she asked softly, and zara just hugged her, brushing it off and telling her to take all the time she needed. a few minutes later, she found herself walking toward bodhi anyway, not even sure why her feet had carried her there. "hey," she said gently as she slipped onto one of the stools, her voice softer than she meant it to be. there was no turning back now. "make me whatever’s cheapest," she added with a faint shrug, "i don’t care."

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi had never been good at opening up or laying his emotions bare, not because he didn’t feel them deeply, but because he had learned to tuck them away where no one could see. To most people, he seemed like the kind of man who let nothing get under his skin, who brushed off life’s sharp edges with an easy shrug and a practiced smile, but that was just the shield he wore, the mask that let him move through the world without drawing attention to the storms inside him. He wasn’t one for loud arguments or messy outbursts, having grown up in an environment where composure was expected, where keeping things bottled up was safer than spilling them out. Instead, he kept everything locked down tight, meeting the world with a steady face, pretending nothing ever touched him too deeply. People who didn’t know him assumed he was shallow, detached, or even uncaring, but those who had gotten close enough understood that this was his way of coping—it was the armour he put on so he wouldn’t break down in front of others. Behind the bar, that mask was just another part of his uniform, a polished layer of charm and control. He moved with calm precision, always serving paying guests first with a polite nod before turning his attention back to Kitty, his motions fluid as if he’d been doing this all his life. Without breaking his rhythm, the brunette poured out a strawberry-sweet cocktail, the scent of fruit lifting above the clinking of glasses and soft hum of conversation, and with a quick swipe of his card he made sure she wouldn’t have to pay. Sliding the glass across the counter, he leaned slightly forward and let a soft, genuine smile flicker across his face. “It’s on me,” he said, his voice carrying a rare warmth, almost shy in its sincerity. His eyes lingered on her, steady but searching, as he added, “Tell me what you think. I was the one who encouraged them to add this drink on the menu.” It was a simple gesture, subtle and unassuming, yet it carried more weight than most of his words ever could. In that moment, the façade slipped just enough to reveal the truth about Bodhi—he cared far more than he ever allowed himself to show, and though he might never scream or pour his feelings out in a torrent, his affection came through in quiet acts, in small offerings meant to bridge the silence he kept around his heart.

[kittywildcr]

the fact that bodhi had told her she could come see his dog hit her in a way she wasn’t expecting—it wasn’t just about seeing the dog she had loved so much, it felt like an open door back into his life, and she didn’t know if she was ready for that. she had been torturing herself when it came to bodhi, because walking away hadn’t meant her feelings had gone anywhere; they were still there, clinging like shadows she couldn’t shake. his words left her speechless. “sounds good,” she nodded, even though the thought of returning to the place that had once been theirs felt like walking into fire. kitty tried to stay calm, but hearing the honesty in his voice chipped away at the fragile confidence she’d built for herself, leaving her exposed. she wasn’t doing well—especially not when those words lingered in the air. she didn’t want to admit how much she still ached, not without him, but she couldn’t hide it either. “it was a lot,” she said softly, eyes fixed on her hands. “i loved you… so much,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. “but if i hadn’t walked away, i feel like i would’ve made it harder for both of us.” still she didn’t look up, her chest heavy, her words unraveling. “things haven’t been easy.”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi felt the ache of absence settle in his chest like a weight that never shifted, a constant reminder of Kitty and the massive gap she had left behind in his life. They had been closer than he’d ever been with anyone before, and no matter how many times he tried to fill that space with new connections, nothing compared to her. His past girlfriends had been sweet, innocent things—full of endless texting, shy hand-holding, and the surface-level glow of young love—but they had never touched him the way Kitty did. She was the first to reach deep inside him, to make him feel as though love wasn’t just an idea but something real, raw, and reshaping. She had carved out a piece of him and in its place left a shadow that never quite faded. So when the girl across from him casually admitted she had loved him, the past tense sliced through him like glass; a small, involuntary sound slipped from his throat before he could contain it, and the word caught in his ears louder than anything else in the room. “Loved?” he echoed, almost without meaning to, his voice betraying him, before quickly turning his back and gathering more glasses in a hasty attempt to cover the slip. “Relationships aren’t easy. Relationships are supposed to be complimented. It’s getting around the disagreements which truly shows how good a relationship can withstand,” he said, his tone steadier now, though inside he was still reeling. “Come over to the bar in a couple of minutes. I’ll get your drink, alright? My card means it’ll be less than you’d normally pay with a discount. I need to move these glasses,” he added, raising the tray as if the gesture itself could shield him from further words. He retreated to the back, the weight of “loved” pressing into him, forcing him to pause in the dim quiet before setting the glasses down with more force than intended. For just a second, he let the sting of the word wash over him, let himself feel the hollowness that Kitty’s absence had left, before drawing in a deep breath and straightening his shoulders. Then, with the practiced composure of someone who’d learned how to carry pain without showing it, Bodhi headed back out toward the bar.

[kittywildcr]

kitty looked at him when he said stormi liked anything she bought her. “i’m glad… i do miss her,” she admitted, her voice carrying that quiet sadness she didn’t try to hide. talking about his dog made her throat tighten—it wasn’t just about stormi, though. it was the past, the moments she wouldn’t get back. she knew she wasn’t going to see the dog again, so all she could do was treasure those memories, even if they hurt a little now. the air between them felt heavier, and she could tell it wasn’t only because of the dog—it was because nothing between them was the same anymore. when he asked about her job, kitty gave him a small smile. “i’m the social media and marketing manager for a new restaurant, and it’s been great,” she said, genuinely. but then she caught the faint crack in his voice, and something inside her gave way. she knew about that spare room—she’d been leaving her work stuff there so it wouldn’t clutter the living room. that would have been too hard. splitting had been difficult enough; she couldn’t live there unless things were the way they used to be. she wouldn’t survive it. kitty sighed softly. “hmm… that was hard,” she began, choosing her words carefully. “i couldn’t be there if things weren’t like before. i thought it was for the best. i didn’t want to make things harder for you…”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi didn’t mind in the least if Kitty came over to see Stormi; the old chow had been his dog since he was a younger boy, and though he knew that if they’d brought her into their lives together he would’ve gone the whole co-parent route without hesitation, the truth was Stormi had always been his responsibility. He’d done everything to make sure she was cared for, and there was a certain pride in that. He paid for the medication. He paid the dogs medical bills. “You can come and see her whenever you want. I bet she’d like seeing a face that isn’t mine,” he said with a quick grin, before placing the tray down on the bar for a moment to collect a few empty glasses left behind by customers who had already gone, his conversation with Kitty still lingering in the air. As he straightened and turned his head toward her, he gave a small nod, his voice softening. “I understood why you went, but it was hard to deal with. I felt like I had it all and then it felt like it slipped through my fingers,” he admitted, the honesty settling between them. “It was a lot to deal with. Having everything fall through.” He studied her for a moment, gaze traveling up and down with a mixture of memory and quiet approval, before offering a small, genuine smile. “You look like you’re doing well though, so that makes me happy.”

[kittywildcr]

kitty would’ve loved to argue with zara, to tell the raven-haired girl she’d rather go anywhere else, but zara had insisted. the girls loved that place—they were all half in love with harrison. he was charming, knew how to read people, always had the right thing to say. poor girls, thinking he’d actually flirt with a college student. but the drinks weren’t bad, and it’s not like she hated the place. she’d had plenty of nice moments there… it’s just that now those moments tasted bittersweet, now that the person she’d shared them with was her ex. as he kept talking about his dog, she felt herself relax a little—it was easier than talking about him or herself. “well, better than stormy chewing it up and swallowing it,” she said, a small smile tugging at her lips. “i’m glad she still likes it.” when his eyes shifted to the table, hers followed. “nope, i don’t actually know who she is—zara’s the dark-haired girl,” she clarified. she went quiet, gaze lingering on the group before turning back to bodhi. when he said it was nice to see her, she couldn’t tell if it was politeness or if he meant it. “well, i don’t know many people who talk and hang out with…” she hesitated, the word still sharp in her chest, “…their ex. and i don’t really have much experience in that area, so…” she let the thought fade. “i’m glad you’re okay,” she said with a nod. “i’m okay too. i got a job and, well… i had to move back in with my mom after… you know, we broke up.” she gave a little shrug. “free food—what’s better than that?”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi’s love for Stormi had been simple, steadfast, and whole—an unshakable bond with someone who had depended on him in ways that made him feel irreplaceable. She had been the kind of companion who didn’t just tolerate his presence, but wanted him there, always; the kind who looked at him as if his being was a certainty in her world. It was forever in his mind, the two of them—him and Stormi—woven together in quiet moments and small acts. “She liked anything you gave her,” he admitted with a small grin, though the fondness in his eyes dimmed as he added, “She always favoured you when you were around.” The words seemed to weigh on him, his smile fading as he thought about how the closeness they’d shared had somehow slipped through their fingers, leaving only echoes. When the other person mentioned that not many people stayed in touch with their ex, Bodhi only nodded once, the truth of it lingering unspoken between them. “Where you working now?” he asked, standing by the door with a tray in his hands, half-aware that if his boss caught him away from the bar he’d get an earful, but willing to risk it to avoid the shrill chaos of the screaming girls at the bar. His voice cracked when he finally spoke again, raw with something he hadn’t said before. “I never… when we split I never asked you to leave straight away. I still had a spare room.” It wasn’t just a fact—it was a quiet confession that even then, he hadn’t been ready to let go. "I didn't expect you to go that quick."

[kittywildcr]

at his words, her eyebrows lifted—that was a fair question. the problem was, she hadn’t exactly prepared for this moment. she’d been too focused on praying bodhi wouldn’t be there. “the girls didn’t want to drive somewhere else. this is the closest not-creepy bar around,” she said, trying to keep it light. “and apparently they weren’t in the mood for a frat party. i could’ve snuck into one, easy, but… you know, not really my thing.” she gave a small shrug, eyes flicking over to him as he worked. she was probably just in the way—more annoying than anything—but she didn’t know how to just walk away. when he mentioned the dog, kitty smiled. “i guess if it doesn’t squeak, it’s better for you,” she joked. “i’m glad she still likes it.” she almost said she missed the dog, but bit her tongue before the words slipped out. when he asked about her friend, kitty nodded. “she’s the loudest one over there,” she said, glancing over just in time to see zara take a shot and let out a dramatic whoop. “yeah… we’re the same, aren’t we,” she added, voice a little awkward, knowing full well she’d never be that bold. her eyes flicked back to him. “hmm, i think i should let you work. this is awkward enough, isn’t it?”

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi was well aware frat parties were happening across town, the usual drunken chaos spilling from houses he used to know all too well. The customers here were mostly students from the local college who didn’t care for the sticky floors and deafening bass of fraternity events, opting instead for a quieter night with a drink they could actually taste. He’d gone to the same university himself, finished his course, and while bartending wasn’t exactly his dream, it kept the bills paid until he could land something in radiology—the field he’d studied for and still needed work experience in. He wanted a career close to home, in the kind of community he felt comfortable in. Between orders, he found himself smiling faintly as he recounted, “She pulled the squeaker out and I had to throw it because it was small, but she still loves the toy as it is. She doesn’t chew on it. She just carries it around in her mouth.” His chuckle was soft, almost fond. “It’s her favourite thing.” But the warmth faded as his gaze shifted toward a loud group of girls by the corner table. His eyes narrowed slightly, his patience thinning. “The blonde one? She’s super annoying. She kept telling me to hurry up and get to her. I almost told her she needs to leave,” he scoffed, steadying the tray in his hand before turning his attention to the girl opposite him. “It’s been okay. It’s actually nice seeing you,” he admitted, his voice softening. “It’s been a while since we’ve been able to, you know—” his lips curved into a faint, wry smile, “talk and stuff.”

[kittywildcr]

they’d both reacted the same way—caught off guard. neither of them expected to see each other that night. “i decided to meet up with my old neighbors from college,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant. she’d finished last year, but zara had moved nearby, and even though they’d never studied the same thing, they’d gotten close. zara was still in school, and kitty loved hearing all her stories. as he stepped around her, his hand brushed her waist and—god, she hated to admit it—it made her breath catch for a second. “i know…” she mumbled, arms crossing over her chest like a shield. his tired eyes met hers, and it didn’t exactly calm her, but she sighed anyway. she was nervous, and the only reason her arms were crossed was to keep her hands from shaking. “how’s she doing?” she asked softly. “did she break the toy i got her?” she smiled a little at the memory—she’d gone out for makeup and somehow ended up buying a dog toy shaped like a pink blush compact. she still had a picture of his dog curled up with it like it was something precious.

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi was a couple of years older than Kitty and freshly twenty-five as of the end of last month, stood with a questioning expression etched across his face, one brow arched as he looked at her. “So you decide to go to the place that I work instead of anywhere else?” he asked, tone laced with equal parts suspicion and reluctant amusement, not entirely convinced by whatever excuse she’d given for showing up. He moved close by her, weaving through the mess of half-abandoned tables, quietly irritated at how lazy the customers could be—was it really so hard to leave their empty glasses on the bar instead of scattered everywhere for him to collect? He sighed inwardly, balancing a tray against his hip already loaded with about ten glasses in one go, his motions smooth and practiced. As he reached for another, his grin returned, this time softened by a thought that warmed him from the inside out. “Nah. It’s her bed buddy,” he said with a chuckle, talking about Stormi, his beloved grey chow chow. “It doesn’t squeak anymore but she loves it.” The memory seemed to take the edge off his annoyance, even if the night felt longer than it should. Turning his head slightly, he glanced at Kitty again. “Has your friend arrived yet?” he asked, his voice more casual now, but still laced with curiosity, like he was trying to figure out what she was really doing here. "Don't tell me she's with that loud group over there.."

[kittywildcr]

if she was completely honest, she didn’t want to go out. especially not to the bar where her ex worked. but, of course, when it was the only decent place less than thirty minutes from campus, there weren’t many options at least not for her slightly younger friends. her friends were already there—probably drinking and talking way too loud—but she’d promised zara she’d come. after seven texts and a call, she finally pulled on something nice, brushed her hair, and made her way toward the bar. she sighed just before reaching for the door, silently praying bodhi was off tonight. she really didn’t want to see him. but, as murphy’s law dictates, the more you don’t want something to happen, the more it does. she bumped into someone just as she stepped inside. and the second she heard his voice, she wished the earth would swallow her whole. "you’re good, bodhi," she muttered, eyes darting away. "i didn’t know you were working today."

[bodhi-rapp]

Bodhi stilled for a few seconds that stretched into what felt like minutes, his body frozen mid-motion, a glass poised in one hand as his eyes locked on her. "Kitty," he said, his voice low and laced with something unreadable, eyes narrowing as if her sudden appearance had thrown the air off balance. "What are you doing here?" he asked. He didn’t need this tonight. Not another argument. Not another flicker of memory dredged up from somewhere he’d tried to bury, another tug toward a past that still lived too close to the surface. He was just trying to survive his shift, keep his head down, finish collecting these damn glasses, and go home, but it seemed the night had other plans. His hand brushed lightly against her waist as he stepped around her, not meaning to linger, just needing to move, to breathe, to keep busy. "I'm always here, you know that," he muttered, crouching slightly to scoop up some empty glasses. "I need to do hours here so I don't lose my apartment," he added, glancing back at her over his shoulder, something hard and tired in his eyes. "Stormi also needs feeding," he said, the edge in his voice softening for a moment at the mention of his aging grey chow chow, the only constant in his life these days—seven years old now, slower than she used to be, but still his girl, his reason, his tether.

[squishsquishy]

>> chow.smooth.3bears

[bodhi-rapp]

closed starter for: @kittywildcrx

Bodhi flashed a quick, practiced smile at the rowdy group clustered at the bar as he slid their drinks across the counter, the noise of their laughter and slurred conversation ringing in his ears. He didn’t particularly care for this lot—loud, demanding, the kind who barely tipped—but the faster he served them, the faster they'd drink up and leave, which was all the incentive he needed. “I’m just going to do some glass collecting,” he announced, more to the room than anyone in particular, hoping a co-worker would catch the cue and take over while he escaped the worst of the chaos. Slipping between the tables with a half-full tray, he drifted into his own head, the clinking of empty glasses offering a small sense of rhythm and peace amid the din—until he collided with someone mid-step. “Sorry, darling,” he muttered automatically, not looking up right away, but as he glanced up a second too late, he realized with a jolt exactly who he had just bumped into.

[calisverse]

𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐘 as 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐑𝐀𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑 and 𝐋𝐎𝐋𝐀 𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐊𝐋𝐈𝐍

The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3, Episode 5.

Conrad reached out and wiped my chin with his shirt. It was maybe the most intimate thing anyone had ever done to me.