wallacepolsom
Mike Driver
Sade Olutola
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
roma★
titsay
oozey mess
NASA
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Misplaced Lens Cap
tumblr dot com
Xuebing Du
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Jules of Nature
⁂
DEAR READER
almost home
if i look back, i am lost
izzy's playlists!
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@kiwicalamity
it’s possible there is a better feeling in the world than remembering u have leftovers in the fridge, but i’m dubious
nah i am 150% certain it is remembering u have leftovers in the fridge
Waking up just before when you normally do just to remember you dont have work/school that day
hundreds of replies and yours is the first serious contender
But what about when a dog rests its head on your lap and falls asleep?
are pokemon carnivorous?
what about the human villagers, do they eat meat?
where. does it come from
does the pokemon universe have factory farming and if so what do they farm?
Sometimes I feel like the better question is why aren’t pokemon factory farming humans. I mean, really, they’re basically intelligent enough to talk to humans. They understand human language. Meowth learned to speak English.
Why aren’t pokemon factory farming people?
A G L E T
I never did forget what an aglet was.
Responsible Necromancy
I want to be a sustainable necromancer who hangs around pyramids and purposefully reanimates mummies so their remains are left alone.
I mean when you think about it
Ash Ketchum is like those videos of people who try to win Pokemon Showdown tournaments with six dedene but it just doesn’t work for him.
FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK
YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD
MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE
NO GOD PLEASE DONT LET THIS BE THE POST THAT MAKES ME TUMBLR FAMOUS
LET US SEE THE BIRD YOU COWARD.
This is the view from the waiting chairs in my dentist’s office.
FYI I'm at the dentist again because I have "soft molars" and need a filling. I have learned several new facts about this painting to wit:
1) It was purchased in Japan, which is a bit on the nose as horror tropes go.
2) They were going to stop hanging it in the office when they moved offices but "we couldn't get rid of it" and I was going to be like DID IT KEEP REAPPEARING LIKE SOME VICTORIAN GOTHIC NONSENSE but
3) they couldn't get rid of it because for a while in the new office they didn't have any signage on the glass front door/entryway, and it was the only way returning patients could tell it was the right office.
Anyway I'm going to let my totally normal and not at all cinematically evil dentist work on my back molars now. (They are actually really great at this office and I'm happy to have found a good dentist.)
*They are kind to those who are kind to them.*
nah i want a Reverse Turing Test. u can’t talk to me unless you prove you’re slightly inhuman
We don’t talk unless you’re just a LITTLE bit of a Vampire.
Pokemon Legends Arceus
You think people will do double nuzlockes, where your trainer can’t be absolutely murked by a ponyta? Like. Your trainer’s not allowed to die.
the fun thing about english/literature class is that no matter your feelings towards english/literature as a subject, there is always That One Fucking Short Story that you remember decades later because holy hotdogs that was a fucked up thing to make a 10th grader read
the notes are Enlightening
oof roald dahl and ray bradbury really did a fucking number on us huh
OKAY BUT HERE’S THE THING--I remember reading THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Y’know what the Little Match Girl is about?? A little homeless girl lighting matches to desperately keep warm on a Christmas night while she freezes to death--and then DYING. And her DEAD GRANDMA TAKING HER TO HEAVEN.
“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).
“Okay but why is it always so chemically roundabout and unnecessarily complicated” well buddy, that’s because your blood is imitation seawater. See? It’s very simple.
Blood is what now?
It’s imitation seawater what part is confusing
#are you telling me#humans are just sentient aquariums?
Buddy if anything is living in your blood (except for more parts of you) in detectable amounts then you have a serious microbial infection and need to go to the hospital.
Humans are seawater wastelands kept sterile of all but human cells, with microbial mats coating their surfaces.
Thank you that’s…very disturbing
It’s not my fault you’re human.
Ok but “It’s not my fault you’re human.” Is the best comeback ever.
You can use it against anyone except children that you biologically helped to create.
#/blood is imitation seawater/ is the part that’s confusing
Picture this: you are a Thing That Lives In The Ocean. Some kind of small multicellular animal a long time ago, before proper circulatory systems existed. “Wow,” you think, metaphorically, “it sure is difficult to diffuse chemicals across my whole body. Kinda puts a hard limit on the size and distance of what specialised organs I can have. Good thing I have all this water around me that’s the same salinity as my cells (they have to be that way so I don’t explode or shrivel up) so I can diffuse and filter chemicals with that.”
“Wait a minute,” you say a couple of generations later, because you’re not actually a small animal but an evolutionary process personified and simplified to the point of dangerous inaccuracy for the purposes of a Tumblr post, “instead of losing all these important chemicals to the water around me, how about I put it in tubes? I can keep MY water separate from the rest of the world’s water! Anything I want to keep goes in my water! Anything I don’t, I dump back into the outside water! I’m a genius! An unthinking natural trial-and-error process that’s a GENIUS!”
“Wow,” you think a great many generations later, “being able to have such control over such high concentrations of important chemicals is so great. Look how big I’m getting. I even have a special pump to move my seawater around, and these cool filter systems to keep the chemicals in it right, and that control and chemical concentration has let me grow so many energy-intensive, highly specialised organs! Being big is so hard. I need special cells just to carry my oxygen around now, to make sure my enormous, constantly-operating body has enough of it.”
At this point you are embodying a fish, and eventually, fish start straying into water with different pressures and salinity levels. (I mean, they do that since befor ehty’er fish, but… look, I’m trying to keep things simple here.) “What the FUCK,” you think. “My inside water is at a different salinity and pressure to the outside water?? How am I supposed to deal with that? I can’t have freshwater inside my seawater tubes! My cells have a set salinity and they would explode! I need to start beefing up my regulatory and filter systems so that my inside seawater STAYS SEAWATER OF THE CORRECT SALINITY even if the outside water is different! Fortunately, adding salt to my seawater is a lot easier than removing it, and I want to be saltier than this weird outside water.” At this point you beef up your liver and urinary systems to compensate for different salinities. (Note: the majority of fish, freshwater and saltwater, have a fairly narrow band of salinities they can live in. Every fish doesn’t get to deal with every level of salinity; they are evolved to regulate within specific bands.)
You also, at some point, go out on land. This is new and weird because you have to carry all of your water inside. “It’s a good thing I turned myself into a giant bag of seawater,” you think. “If I wasn’t carrying my seawater inside, how would I transport all these important chemicals between my organs and the environment?” As you specialise to live entirely outside of the water, you realise (once again) that it’s a lot easier to add salt to water than to remove it in great quantities. Drinking seawater in large amounts becomes toxic; your body isn’t specialised for removing that amount of salt. Instead, you drink freshwater, and add salts to that. The majority of your organs are, at this point, specialised for moving your seawater around, protecting it, adding stuff to it, or taking stuff out. You have turned yourself into an intelligent bag for carrying and regulating a small amount of imitation seawater, and its salinity (and your commitment to maintaining that salinity) is based entirely on the seawater that some early animals started to build tubes around a long time ago.
And that’s what a human is!
I once had a whole argument about how all humans were technically vampires at one point because breast milk is just filtered blood. XD This is hilarious.
one of my favorite things about fanfiction is how many writers don't necessarily consider themselves fans of the original work. lots of writers just saw the movie or read the book and were like "that was unsatisfying but now I have yet another canon to fuck around with"
Some times fanfiction is a love letter to canon. Some times fanfiction is just a friendly banter with the canon. And sometimes, fanfiction is “11 things the canon did wrong” nailed on the church’s doors.
#fix it fics are no more than an itemized list of grievances
#but what if it was gayer?
I just remembered I had these screen shots of these bois. They look so shady. What they doin’?
English
Y’know, being an English major gives me a weird energy. With each essay I write, I just become more spiteful.
Owls confirmed to be the creepiest birds ever. LOOK AT THE FUCKING THINGS. If you fail to notice the one on the left fucking SWALLOWING a rat, then you have the dude singing some satanic chant or something next to him, and then you have those two other fucking psychos synchronized to make you feel creeped the fuck out with their soulless dance of FUCKING DOOM.
See, Avatar got it right. We need more owl horror.
they're selling CRACK COCAINE and GHB to YOUR kids AT Freddy's Fazbear Pizzeria Entertainment Daycare!
I mean the Daycare is honestly the shadiest place in the pizzaria, and that’s saying something. There’s generators everywhere, the fact they’re drugging the kids, and Sun/Moon’s room too. Just. Bruh.
For anyone wondering how the hell the Daycare Attendant changes their outfit so fast, here's MY guess:
I mean aside from the obvious mechanics with the hat or sun spikes, I wondered if the cloth just changes with the temperature. Or if the patterns are just projected and lights turning off causes the projections to change. Basically LED’s?
Either way, if they are the same animatronic, I think anything that changes color could have to do with lighting activating a change in the materials.
