Kixxy | Suni

[kixxyhehe]

I wanted to find a social media where I could find a friendly community, and there's no better place for that then tumblr ;) hope I'm not too late for the party! 🥹

Btw gng, the older posts were my friend's, I only started posting on this date -> October 3rd, 2025

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Personal info:

• You can call me Kixxy, Suni or Lari!!

• I'm not nitpicky about pronouns but I prefer she/her

• Brazilian

• 16yo

• I speak English and Portuguese fluently

• intermediate level Spanish

• I wanna learn german someday (pspspsps if you know german pls teach me)

• Lesbian | assexual

• 24/7 chronic pain -> I'm still getting the hang of things and learning to manage, but I'm getting there hopefully! If you have chronic pain or are chronically ill and don't have anyone to talk to about it, this is a safe space

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Hobbies/interests:

• Crochet

• traditional art -> shout out to oil painting!

• All kinds of art tbh

• reading

• astronomy

• physics

• videogames

• music

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Current fandoms

• Little nightmares

• Dishonored (all games)

• Dr.Stone

• Bungou Stray Dogs

• Transformers!! (bayverse, knightverse, tfONE, ROTB, TFP, Earthspark, Skybound, SG 2021-2022, RID15, rescue bots, G1 and more to come)

• Jujutsu Kaisen

• How to train your dragon (movies, shows and books)

• Kimetsu no Yaiba (manga & anime)

• Minecraft

• Cult of the lamb

• Pokémon

[will-0-the-wispp]

I'm addicted to liking pride posts cause I get to see what flag pops up with the heart hehe

so far I've had a lot of trans ones and 1 pan one!!

[kixxyhehe]

I just had this idea of an oc that has this ability where their tears become a different substance according to their emotions, desires and needs when they cry.

If they're crying while being immensely angry at someone, their tears are a lethal poison.

If they're crying out of pain, their tears become a soothing balm over their injuries, physical or not.

If they're crying out of happiness, their tears are a bright and shimmery substance, representing the lightness and joy they feel.

If they're crying out of sadness or grief, their tears are a bloody mess, literally.

[kixxyhehe]

Is it just me or are doctors meaner towards chronically ill patients?

This is completely targeted towards my doctor. I have chronic pain and on my last appointment my doctor told me to stop getting my painkillers in the subcutaneous injection form and instead just take them as pills. Which I then proceeded to explain that the pills don't work for me and not only do they not work but I actually suffer way more. And instead of backing down, she gave me this condescending look and told me to be grateful for having the painkiller pills as an option because subcutaneous injections are a 'hassle'.

My parents proceeded to nod along with her because pills are 'easier to manage' and I should stick to those from now on because the injection is more expensive and it's more of a hassle I guess.

Fast forward to today. It's a bad pain day, so I take the painkiller pill because I need at least one miserable moment of alleviation from this. The pills don't fucking work, and because I took them I can't get the injection. I fucking hate my doctor. I just want to be able to sleep without waking up every hour from the excruciating pain that I have done absolutely nothing to deserve. Why does she never listen to me. I told her the pills never work. Why why why why

This is why you should never put your full trust in doctors if you are chronically ill. Respect your body and your knowledge over it, not the doctor.

[paranormal-paracosm]

Humans should cuddle pile. It’s actually CRAZY that we don’t cuddle in groups for warmth or comfort like so many other species do. What do you MEAN sleeping together is only for monogamous sexual couples?? We’re biologically coded to DIE in infancy if we aren’t held. We need to be held more. This is so stupid.

[kixxyhehe]

R E A L

[kixxyhehe]

Growing up is realizing my mom might not live long enough to see my college graduation. She might never see me grow to be an independent adult.

[kixxyhehe]

There aren't many things one can say to me that would hurt me as a person who has chronic pain. I've grown desensitized to that stuff. I don't care if you believe me or not, I don't care if you're ignorant and don't know what it's like. You can be inconsiderate, that doesn't bother me anymore.

What does bother me though, is when I have a friend tell me they'd rather end their lives rather than go through what I am going through health wise. Which is just. Hurtful. There is no need to say that.

Yes, I have to deal with horrible pain everyday, but I still get to live and be happy in my own way. My life has value too. I'm tired of hearing abled people say that the lives of chronically ill people are worthless.

Look, I don't even have it that bad. Maybe I don't have the right to be the one saying this. Maybe this is a "right message, wrong messenger" situation. I just have chronic pain, it's not like I have a life threatening illness like some do. But my point still stands

The lives of people with either chronic pain or a chronic illness still have value. Life is worth living regardless, because talking to people and doing what you love is a pleasure all human beings deserve.

[paranormal-paracosm]

Me knowing that 90% of my characters are mentally ill, disabled, and csa survivors and my future fandom is gonna be soooooo gross about them

I know this is the price to pay for sharing your stuff but ghghh if I see someone posting gross art of Kore or Eve or making fun of Xihuitl having Chrons or Araceli having delusions I’m gonna chew a table leg off.

[kixxyhehe]

Bro if someone acts gross about Kore and Eve I swear to God I'm going to be devastated

THEY'RE MY ADOPTED CHILDREN OKAY THEY DON'T DESERVE THE SLANDER 😭

[kixxyhehe]

My emotional support kitty cat is missing I'm going to crash out and murder everyone don't talk to me don't interact I cannot possibly act normal right now my cat is missing my fucking son is nowhere to be seen. He has never done this before my baby needs his nightly cuddles or else he can't fall asleep I'm crying

[kixxyhehe]

I found my kitty cat after searching deeper in the woods at 1 am. Not funny, kitty. I saw at least 10 deadly brown spiders.

I also had to give him a bath before going to sleep because he was dirty as fuck and he was lowkey smelling like feces

[kixxyhehe]

There's this annoying dude in my class that sits in front of me and he never shuts up. He steals my water bottle all the time and he just likes nagging at people.

My biggest enjoyment of the day is keeping a straight face while he tries to nag at me. He steals my water bottle? I just watch him. Veryyy closely. He goes "what??" And I say absolutely nothing. And magically his eyes widen and my water bottle is handed back to me.

It's absolutely hilarious. I didn't even mean to do it at first, really. I just wasn't in the mood to go along with his bullshit, so I didn't. All that guy wants is attention, he wants someone to glare at him or to ask him to stop. I do neither. And he hates it.

[kixxyhehe]

Update on the annoying dude

Not only is he annoying as fuck, but I've also realized he is on the peak of his puberty and he thinks it's funny. Like. Boys are usually embarrassed about this stuff idk

I've seen him get a boner three times within a week FOR NO REASON AT ALL

He is always just talking with his deskmate like he does 24/7 when he gets a boner. He starts laughing and when his deskmate realizes he also cracks up. Which, okay. I guess that's relatively common in puberty, I'm not judging the boners in itself.

I don't care about guy's shenanigans as long as it's not near me. But he literally sits in front of me so it is annoying when a guy starts loudly cracking up as he gets a boner right in front of me. I hate the "boys are just being boys!" Saying because this really isn't funny man I don't want to see your boner. You should at least have the decency to be embarrassed or to hide it instead of pointing to your crotch and showing your boner to me and my deskmates. Yeah. He once turned around and pointed to his boner so I could get a peek at it too. Veery mature.

Sighhhh

This is why I like women and don't fw men

[kixxyhehe]

My emotional support kitty cat is missing I'm going to crash out and murder everyone don't talk to me don't interact I cannot possibly act normal right now my cat is missing my fucking son is nowhere to be seen. He has never done this before my baby needs his nightly cuddles or else he can't fall asleep I'm crying

[kixxyhehe]

There's this annoying dude in my class that sits in front of me and he never shuts up. He steals my water bottle all the time and he just likes nagging at people.

My biggest enjoyment of the day is keeping a straight face while he tries to nag at me. He steals my water bottle? I just watch him. Veryyy closely. He goes "what??" And I say absolutely nothing. And magically his eyes widen and my water bottle is handed back to me.

It's absolutely hilarious. I didn't even mean to do it at first, really. I just wasn't in the mood to go along with his bullshit, so I didn't. All that guy wants is attention, he wants someone to glare at him or to ask him to stop. I do neither. And he hates it.

[alienszarecool]

forgiveness is difficult isn’t it?

[paranormal-paracosm]

Can I come over to your house and vomit

[kixxyhehe]

Bestie you can vomit on my couch if that's what it takes for you to spawn over at my house/silly

[mouzieplush]

Found this in my drafts I'm giggling, I think there WAS at some point gonna be a bigger point there but I can't remember it

[kixxyhehe]

I need to do an assignment due today but I genuinely can't get out of bed and I don't have anyone I can ask for help I hate myself why can't I just be normal

I also have to go to the school later because they want to talk to me I'm scared I wish this wasn't happening. This is a new school and I haven't gone to class in a month and I want to cry I didn't mean to miss all those classes I swear I love studying I'm in so much pain though

Why do they look at me like I wanted this

[kixxyhehe]

In my delirious haze of pain and sleeping meds, my mom caved in and told me to relax and that she would take care of things.

She was kind and accepting, and although I could see the pain in her eyes from watching me suffer, she didn't judge me and recognized that despite it all I was trying hard to attend classes, even if I mostly didn't succeed.

And then I woke up. It's 5 am and I have to suck it up, and if I don't go to class again she's going to look at me with those eyes of utter disappointment. Sorry mom, I'm still not cured from my chronic illness. I'm sorry that I can't get up during week days and be normal and functional.

Some people say dreams are like taking a peek at an alternate reality. If that's true, I'm glad my other me is doing well. I got the bad ending, but at least you have it good. Maybe there's hope that one day she'll tap my shoulder and tell me my survival and mental health are the priority too.

Mom cares about my future, but I fear that if I keep going like this there'll be no future. I want her to look at me and see my present self, not my future. I want her to look past the "I'm fine" I manage to utter everyday and see that I'm dealing with something truly disabling.

I'm sorry mom. I'm not going to grow up to be the woman you raised me to be, will I?

[kixxyhehe]

I didn't go. I woke up at 4 am and for three hours I couldn't get up and get dressed to go. It hurts it hurts my head hurts I hate my life what does it even mean to be alive I am not living I am barely surviving let alone living