im tired

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[daggerfall]

man i love all the new events in new horizons

[vainvaihe]

things got a little heated in the gc today

[gallusrostromegalus]

International Differences that turn into screaming matches of misdirected fury is one of my favorite genres of humor

[tybalt-you-saucy-boi]

Can we talk about how raw of a quote “When I kill God, I’ll make a law in the universe that makes every being put carrots on their sandwiches. … And you? You will eat sandwiches every day.” is

[kaizoku-niiichan]

Only Yesterday (1991)

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

[doggosbork]

me, with Spotify premium:

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[j4ya]

[cottaterra]

Could I be more pathetic?

[heatnap]

[krakenguts-deactivated20140908]

did he commit a crime? wheres the warrant? 

[daytimeblogger]

no its his last day of kindergarten and its for his mom

[catchymemes]

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

My older brother’s birthday is in a few weeks and I got him one of these I’m excited to give it to him

[uncle-beanbag]

TODD YOU SON OF A BITCH

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[honeystrum-deactivated20170904]

who is traitor joe

[matzahball]

and what did he do :/

[paintedreptile]

I was working upstairs when I hear one of our baby leopard geckos start screaming. Normally they only scream when threatened, but this particular guy screams at almost everything. Turns out there was a small fly in his cage that was bothering him.

Yes the fly was removed afterwards.

[conceptblogfromaconcepthuman]

[saturniata-remade-deactivated20]

ohhh i DEEPLY regret teaching my cat how to talk

[kawaii-kozume]

Oh? Would you elaborate?

[saturniata-remade-deactivated20]

okay so one night like a week or two ago kurt was meowing at me and one of the meows sounded like he was saying “hewwo” so since then I started saying “hewwo” instead of meowing back at him (like I do with all his cat sounds, naturally) and slowly his meows evolved into something vaguely “hewwo”like with the one or two True and Powerful Hewwo’s a day

but now that you have backstory I was just standing in my kitchen making rice, everythings dead silent, and suddenly this fucking “HEWWO??” echoes through the whole apartment and it almost killed me

[evilauthor]

I actually got in huge trouble with my fiance’s sister for that. One night, I heard Fish meowing and it kinda sounded like she was saying “hello” so I decided to encourage it. If no one was going to try to get the cat to stop screaming at 3am, I wanted to try to get her to scream words so everyone would be as disturbed about it as I was. For the better part of three years, I used treats to reward her whenever she “spoke” while not letting anyone else know I was trying to teach her stuff.

One day, my fiance’s sister goes to give Fish a treat and the cat whiffs it. Misses the treat completely and it bounces under the fridge, so she’s trying to stick her paw under to get it back.

“Oh no, Fish. You lost your snack!”

“I know I know.”

Instant chaos. It wasn’t even Fish’s best words. If she had only said it once, maybe no would have noticed, but the repetition got attention and everyone just lost it. I made the mistake of praising Fish and suddenly I have the sister turn on me. “Are you why she says ‘oh no’ all the time?” Apparently Fish rarely “meows” properly anymore and will say “Oh no” whenever she’s mildly inconvenienced and wants a human to fix it for her.

[binches-deactivated20220521]

[catchymemes]

[drinkyourjuiceshelby]

[jaspurr]

the best thing about this is that when there’s plenty of resources, domesticated cats will naturally form colonies. in these colonies female cats raise their kittens communally with their kin. so you get situations where moms will raise kittens with their daughters from a previous litter, cats from the same litter will raise kittens together, etc. so not only does this little old kitty see her human as family, she is also excited to help her with her kitten.

[thewonderfulthingaboutfish]

A 14 yr old cat is in her 70s, so this is like your nan getting hyped about your baby and wanting to help and its adorable. Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana Cat-nan!

[theweirdwideweb]

[bogleech]

[mavisbeaconofficial]

[monsieur-bergeret]

🍆💦😂