Chill Out Dude

There is no theme to this blog, I just like this stuff, it will fluctuate wildly in a totally different direction at random. Minors not welcome. MDNI. 18+ Aro/Ace, She/Her

[theloverislost]

as we are rapidly approaching pride month, here’s an obligatory reminder!

AROMANTIC PEOPLE

ASEXUAL PEOPLE

AND AROACE PEOPLE

ALL BELONG IN THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY

I WILL REMOVE EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE

[knotweaver]

Not sure how I got to COD fanfiction but I fucks with whatever you guys have on Simon.

[flirtingfawn]

rookie leon with an oral fixation

[knotweaver]

Something about making paper stars and putting them in an Atlas brand mason jar…

[knotweaver]

I sleep through the wildest shit guys. What do you mean Markiplier knows about Bloody Mary!?

[paperpoetryandpetrichor]

Crowley and Aziraphale's choice did not wipe out humanity. Everyone and everything was already gone.

That was not the plan for the Second Coming. That would have caused a war between heaven and hell that killed humanity and destroyed earth.

Michael wiped out humanity, earth and the entire universe by destroying the book of life.

No Alpha Centauri. Nowhere for them to go except staying in an empty bookshop with nothing else and God and Satan being able to pop in whenever they want?

God basically gave them a choice between having it all back as it was (with them never being free of heaven and hell and inevitably having another Second Coming, a Great Plan and war that destroys earth) or living in a world of nothing forever.

Instead they chose to break free and make a new universe were none of that could exist, including them and including God.

They would never have been left alone, heaven and hell always dragged them back into it. They would have never been free, or happy together. So they stood in front of God and told her to go fuck herself.

Don't tell me they lost.

[knotweaver]

The way I bawled like a baby at the end.

[rennpom]

Thinkin' about Leon & Chris with doggos :eyes:

I like to imagine that Rose convinces Chris to get a pupper, so this is the Dad-Who-Didn't-Want-The-Dog absolutely doting on the little pup. Her name's Matilda, Tilly for short. She's Just A (fully grown) Baby. Then maybe after Chris sees how bad Leon's strugglin' in Vendetta times, he convinces him to rescue a mutt to train. (The context of "saving" a dog is what convinces Leon.) Leon sees the training as just a good distraction when he's not on mission, but it has the added benefit of resulting in a service dog who helps a lot with his PTSD :) Leon introduces him as "Rook" his full name's Rookie, but very few people know that.

[carolsturka]

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

my favorite fucking trope is chubby!reader living your life completely oblivious to the fact that the literal man of your dreams is in love with you and you're none the wiser.

like - you just traipse through life like "well he wouldn't like me back so it's wtv" all nonchalant and shit while the poor man is literally falling over himself trying to get it through your head that HEYYY that's not right??? i'm literally in love with you??? i worship the ground you walk on???? i'll do whatever you want????

and bless your heart, you see every single time he tries to hit on you as an act of kindness:

"awww, he got me (insert fav food here) cus i said i was hungry, what a nice guy!"

"he complimented my outfit! he must've liked the color of my shirt!"

"wow, he seems to be zoning out a lot, i hope he's okay!" (he's been staring at your lips for the past five minutes)

and he just... doesn't know what to do to make you see what he sees.

like you're so gorgeous and funny and why wouldn't he like you??

he's convinced that if he were to stand in front of you and tell you he loves you, you'd be like, "I love you too! you're such a good friend!"

(which has happened before and a little part of him died inside)

it literally takes him everything in his power to make you realize his feelings, and you just stand there for a moment, seemingly connecting the dots over the past few months, and all you can come up with is a small, dumb, "oh."

lord give him the strength.

[luveline]

leon has steady nerves. he works well under pressure. runs toward fires instead of away, which is maybe why it’s so easy to take care of you: if a meltdown were a girl, it’d be you. shaky all the time, miserable, slow to tears but quick to bitting at your fingertips or digging fingernails into your palm. leon was once attacked with an ax, a pitchfork, and a chainsaw in quick succession—your silver-lined eyes don’t perturb him.

he probably reacts wrongly to you for a long time before he learns what you need. tells you not to cry, don’t get upset, rubs your arm some until the tears are gone and lends you whatever distraction you’d like to borrow, then wonders why you take time to get better afterwards. telling you not to cry isn’t as affective as a quiet, hey, i don’t like seeing you in tears, do i? rubbing your arm is half a cure, squeezing you tight to his chest is what really works. and it’s more for him than you when he rubs his nose into your temple and smells your skin in these moments. shaky girl, tender girl, always in need of a soft touch.

he gets older and you get steadier, but the soft touch remains. it’s a little unlike him, he finds that he talks to you with gentleness pre-written into his tone. baby, sweet girl, don’t make yourself sick. you look at him through tears and apologise for all the fuss, and leon nudges your face with the backs of his fingers, stroking a slow path down your cheek. you’re lovely when you cry, but better when your lips flick into a soft smile and your eyes flutter closed. he draws a curve along to your chin.

[leonsfawn777-deactivated2026050]

RE9!Leon waking you up by eating you out <3

[littlestpersimmon]

Free Ornamentation IV. This work is dedicated to the public domain 🐌

[4nimal]

I turned them into individual transparent pngs if anyone wants those premade!

(Op lmk if you want me to take this down, I'd totally understand—on the other hand, I'd love to do it for the other public domain pieces you've done if that's ok!)

[aquilacalvitium]

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

[aquilacalvitium]

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

[unhappytogekiss]

Why yes I think this person is hot*

*terms and conditions apply: I do not actually want to have sex with the person. I was admiring the cut of their jaw and cheekbones and would quite like to keep looking at them as they are pleasant to look at. I still don't understand how people can just look at someone and want to fuck them. I'm amazed that most of the world is apparently like this. Now I am concerned I don't look asexual anymore because we've had a communication mishap, hence this footnote. I apologise for any confusion caused by my use of the english language. Please believe me; I am really asexual

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]