~gKnow Hustleberg

I know I know nothing, so I know more than most.

[knowwah]

[polyrolemodels]

Cautionary Poly - Sunshine

I’ve been poly since the early 70’s and I’ve been speaking at colleges about poly since the early 90’s.  I’m a poly educator and activist and I still make mistakes.  I’ve got several stories I could tell but I think this is the one that would resonate with many people.

Back in the early 2000’s my husband and I had a mutual girlfriend who moved in with us.  At first we shared a king-sized bed and all was fine.  Saffron was younger, tinier and very cute.    I didn’t have any jealousy issues, mainly because I had brought her into the relationship as she’d been my lover first and of course because I “did poly so well”.

So one night, around 9:30 I went to my husband and suggested that the two of us go to bed because I was horny and wanted some one-on-one time.  He sweetly told me that he was just too tired that night for sex (he got up at 5AM for work so 9:30 was close to his bedtime) and that he just wanted to go to sleep.  I reluctantly kissed him goodnight and headed to our office adjacent to our bedroom and proceeded to play around on-line.

About a half-hour later, I hear Saffron go to bed and then a few minutes after that I hear the unmistakable sounds of them having sex.  I was so furious.  Now human beings are story making machines and of course I came up with all kinds of stories.  He loved her more than me.  She was prettier and sexier and he wanted her not me.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  So, instead of calmly getting up and going into the bedroom, I KICKED the door in.  They were in mid stroke, looked at me in surprise as I burst into tears.  They immediately rushed to my side, grabbed me and pulled me into the bed with them and held me while I cried.  He was totally confused and couldn’t figure out what the problem was as I sobbed and accused him of not loving me and loving her more.

Once I calmed down he told me what happened, which was pretty simple.  He was just falling asleep when someone crawled in bed and quietly reached over and started stroking him.  He didn’t stop to think who it was or anything other than half asleep one of the women in his life was arousing him and he responded.  It wasn’t about not loving me or wanting me more it was about him reacting completely physically to physical stimuli.

I was very embarrassed that over-reacted and was quickly forgiven and forgave them.

There are several morals to the story.  One is not to make up stories about what we think is so but wait and find out what is really going on.  And to be generous and forgiving when partners don’t live up to our expectations.

Cautionary Poly: Teachable Moments in Polyamorous Relationships is a special feature of Poly Role Models. The goal of this feature is to highlight the fact that successful polyamory isn’t always free of mistakes…and those mistakes can definitely be gained from.

[knowwah]

Thank you for sharing. Conversation creates our world.

[knowwah]

Words I live by! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #now #cool

[knowwah]

I love dope art! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #now #art #cool

[knowwah]

Live in possibility! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #cool

[knowwah]

Nice stretch! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #yoga

[knowwah]

Lego the ego! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #yoga

[knowwah]

I need some yoga in my life! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #cool #yoga

[knowwah]

Shit is about to get interesting! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #cool

[knowwah]

Under Dog, put this on a t-shirt! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #cool #booty

[knowwah]

We are all designers! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #happynewyear #2015

[knowwah]

Crushing on a Wednesday. #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #cool #locks #wcw

[knowwah]

All out and fuck it if they don't get it. #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #cool

[ihatepicasso-deactivated2018092]

[remarkable-duivelsei]

Évolution inversée

“It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.”

~ Pablo Picasso

[knowwah]

Our greatness lies within our childlike wonder.

[knowwah]

Systems trump genius. #world #gold #travel #peace #determined

[knowwah]

The jungle is calling me. #freedom #faith #believe #backpacklifestyle #travel #gold #goldcurrency

[knowwah]

Love as many as you can! #love #live #life #lovelife #loveplenty #peace #paradigmshift #be #befree #believe #create #care #bedohave #truth #trueself #align #findthelove #ourworld #wehavethepower #transform #meditate #heal #unify #universe #1ofakind #1life2live #free #faith #now #cool