A tiny ficlet of something that was ruminating in my brain for my dead Soft!Ascended Astarion long fic since the other one seems to be to be doing well.
Untitled
AN: ficlet, literally two paragraphs, incomplete, old draft, Soft!Ascended Astarion, compulsion, feelings, argument
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His eyes glowed red and he was staring daggers into her own. “You want to compel me, don’t you.” She gasped. Then she straighten and stared into his eyes defiantly. “Do it.” She inched closer. “Do it!” She screamed.
He straightened his back and released the power he held. “No,” he said through clenched teeth. Her eyes widened. “I am not a monster, you taught me that, and I won’t have you see me as one.” He gave her one last withering stare before turning away and walking off.
This is something that’s been sitting in my drafts forever. It was an idea I was tossing around for a long fic that I don’t think I’m ever going to write.
Astarion burst into the door of the tower. He hasn’t needed permission to enter an abode in years. Not since the tadpole, and not since the ascension. “Where is she?” He yelled at the top of his lungs.
“Well, hello to you too. Oh, please, do come in. Make yourself at home.” The sarcastic tones of Gale of Waterdeep hit him before he saw the wizard himself stroll towards him.
“Where is she?” He growled at the wizard. Then he looked at the spiraling staircase next to him. She could be here, in the tower this very moment. Looking up he calls for her, “Tav!”
“She isn’t here.”
“What?” Astarion says as he looks back at Gale.
“She isn’t here.”
“Shadowheart said-“
“Shadowheart told you she was in Waterdeep?” Gale’s eyebrows raised in question and surprise.
“Yes, so I ask for the final time, where is she?” His eyes pierce daggers at the once ally.
“I am telling you this only because she herself has requested the line of communication to remain open. She is in Waterdeep-“ Astarion makes for the stairs, so Gale has to quickly cut him off, “but she is not in my tower,” he says through clenched teeth. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, trying to remain at least semi-cordial with the vampire lord before him. “She has her own cottage, just outside the city.”
“Where?”
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Astarion makes his way through the city hell bent on a mission. The sun is starting to set and perfectly aligns with the street he is making his way down, backlighting the market that has made its home before him. That is when he sees the unmistakeable figure that is her. Long flowing dark hair (longer than she kept it before), a light and brightly colored sundress, pointed ears that turn red as the sun passes through them, slender frame, a little on the shorter side. Tav.
Then his stomach drops. He wants to approach her, wants to run to her if he’s being honest with himself, but his feet have cemented themselves to where he stands. And then she turns and see him. Her eyes widen in surprise, and then she’s marching towards him, her face unreadable. He’s unsure if she’s happy, or frightened, or angry. All he knows is she getting closer and closer and he’s unsure of what to do, what to say, so he just stands there and prepares for the worst. Then she reaches him and…embraces him.
She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t do anything but hold him in her arms after so long. And still, he just stands there, he doesn’t even embrace her back. He can’t. His mind is too busy running in a million directions from the shock and the trepidation of what to do next.
But she doesn’t expect him to. She would never force him to do anything, valuing choice above all. She leans back a little so she can look him in the face and just smiles. Oh, how has he missed her looking at him with that wonderful, bright, beautiful smile. She then lets go of his middle in order to reach for his hands, and then she’s leading him to follow her.
And he does. Hand in hand, she leads him out of the city, towards where he knows her cottage is. They don’t say anything and the silence is almost familiar, comfortable. On the walk his mind starts to race and he begins to panic. Has she taken up any lovers? Just because she’s not with Gale doesn’t mean she’s not with anyone. What if she’s married? What if she has children? The one thing Astarion could not provide her with. He knows how much she loves children, it was obvious by the way she picked up every stray they crossed on their adventure. Oh gods, what if?
Her cottage sits on a grassy hill, perfectly placed to catch the sun as it both rises and sets, as it is doing now. It’s quaint, homey, nothing like the Crimson Palace, but oh so her.
As they approach her door, she steps through, but he hesitates and lets go of her hand. “Darling, I-“
“Astarion~” She drawls in her sing-songy way. “Will you please come inside?”
“I don’t need permission, love.”
“I know.” She says grinning up at him with a smirk to rival his own. It’s too hard not to match her infectious smile, so he doesn’t fight it. He lets the smile grow on his face and he follows her inside.
The inside of the cottage is small, really small. You walk through the front door into the kitchen, behind it, it opens up to the living space with a hearth. Behind that is a door he believes to be her bedroom.
He doesn’t like it. The walls seem to close in on him, pressuring him for the inevitable conversation that they will have to have. Tav makes her way to the hearth to start a fire going, and he follows. He sees burn marks just outside the fireplace across the wooden floor. She must see this, because she starts to explain.
“A little mishap, while cooking. I’ve had to learn how to do everything myself. Thankfully, Gale is a patient teacher. His tressym, Tara, agreed to teach me things that she says even Gale struggles with. Mostly laundry.” With the fire going, she stands and turns to him.
“Did you read my letter?”
The Ascendant balks at the question, tries to find a way to spin this to his benefit, to make sure he is the one that remains in control. But then a voice from deep within Astarion’s mind tells, begs, pleads for him to “Just tell the truth!” The voice is so loud it drowns out that of the Ascendant. So, he gives in.
“Yes.” He says quietly.
And then she waits for him, waits for him to speak, for him to feel comfortable enough to take the plunge. It’s so frightening to be on that ledge; he’s more frightened than he has been since Cazador’s death. But he has to know.
“Did you-“, “Do you-“, “Have you-“ he stammers out, unable to compete the questions. He bows his head and screws his eyes shut. This is beneath him. He is the most powerful vampire in the entire world and he can’t even ask a bloody question.
“Does anyone else live here?” He says quickly and a little too loud. Embarrassment washes over him, but he chances a look up at her. She wears a small smile.
“No,” she cups his check with her palm, “I meant what I said in my letter, Astarion. I love you, and I will always love you.”
Relief crashes over him like a bucket of ice water. And then he’s holding her in his arms, and his mouth crashes into hers. They kiss and kiss, and it’s everything it used to be if not more. 5 years of yearning comes through as their lips entangle with one another, as his tongue slides past her lips and dances with her own.
They slowly make their way towards the bedroom, disregarding articles of clothing in between heated kisses. Then she’s on the bed, and he’s crouched above her. He kisses along her jaw and then the side of her neck down towards her shoulder. He slowly, carefully pushes inside.
His pace is languid and slow, enjoying just being enveloped by her warmth again. His face is buried in her neck where he just breathes her in, occasionally leaving small kisses. He doesn’t want her to see the emotion in his eyes, how much he’s missed her, how much he loves her.
Her heart is pounding in her chest and he can hear her blood flowing through her veins just under her skin, but he doesn’t bite. He doesn’t want to scare her, for her to believe the Ascendant is just taking what he wants.
He snakes his hand along her body between them until it reaches her little bundle of nerves and looks up. He wants to see her come undone, wants to see how he brings her to ecstasy. It’s a face he would dream about on the loneliest nights he spent away from her. Her face tightens, and she’s close. She just needs a little push. “Come for me, love,” he whispers. And she does, and she’s more beautiful in the moment than he’s ever dreamed, ever remembered.
He removes his fingers from her clit but continues his slow pace. He makes to bury his head in her neck again when she stops with him her hand on his cheek. “I love you, Astarion.” And then, he loses it. Her words alone cause him to spend himself inside of her. His vision goes white and he can think of nothing else but the feelings swelling in his chest and oh how good it feels to cum inside her perfect cunt.
After he spent himself completely, he rolls off of her onto his back next to her. She immediately curls up next to him, just like every time before, as if nothing has changed. He turns on his side and puts his hand on her waist and then kisses her cheek.
“Come back. Come back to me. I can give you a thousands servants at your beck and call. You’ll never need to cook or clean again.”
She giggled “I don’t think a household of two needs a thousand servants,” more giggles, “How about a few?”
“Whatever you want. I will give anything and everything. I will give you eternity.”
At this she stiffens and moves to sit up against the headboard. He does the same.
“You know how much I value freedom. You value it too, just as much. That’s why you went through with the ritual in the first place. To be compelled would be torture enough, but to have it forced upon me by you…” her voice cracks, “it would kill me.”
“I could compel you now,” he started. He tried to speak softly, slowly, show her he was taking this conversation very seriously. “It works on the living too, you know? It’s just, let’s say, stronger on spawn.” He paused, allowing her to breathe and absorb all that he meant with his words. “And that’s not an Ascended gift, just the power of a true vampire. But I haven’t. And I won’t. Not even after you turn. I swear it.”
She remained quiet, tried to process all the thoughts swirling in her head. “Maybe….maybe if you had told me all of this then, maybe I would have agreed.” She said with a resignation in her voice. “But it’s been 5 years, Astarion. I don’t know how much or how little you’ve changed. You could have burned down half of Baldur’s Gate for all I know.”
He leaned over her so that their chests were touching, his hand in her hip. “Then come back. Come back and hold on to your precious mortality until you trust me again. I’ll wait, for as long as I have to. But I can’t lose you again, Tav. Not to this and not to death.”
He laid his head down on her chest. This used to bring him so much peace, was a place of comfort for him. Now, it filled him with dread. He could hear her heart racing, trying to prepare herself to deny him, deny them a second chance.
“Okay.” His head shot up and her looked into her eyes for any sign of betrayal. “I’ll come back; I’ll come home.” Home, she still thought of it as home, still thought of him as home.
He grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. She brought her hands to his chest and pushed him, directing him to lean back against the headboard. “Now, let me show you how much I’ve missed you.”
She gave him a wicked look in her eye as she slowly got on her knees between his legs. She licked his cock from base to tip, lightly grasping the base, and stroking. He was quickly getting hard again in her hands. She swirled her tongue around the tip, and then kissed her way down his shaft. Once there she lightly sucked on his balls. He let a little breath of pleasure. She took her wicked tongue and licked the slit on the head of his cock, tasting the small amount of precum that had started to gather there. Then slowly and finally she wrapped those perfect lips around him and started to move her head up and down, swirling her tongue as she did so.
He groaned and threw his head back. She had always been good at this, even though he was her first and he had been the one to teach her. It just proved to him that her perfect mouth wasn’t meant for prayer but for sin. He looked down to unabashedly watch her pretty lips slide up and down his cock. “Tav,” he moaned.
She looked up through her lashes at him and smirked, and that almost did him in. He quickly grabbed her by the hair and pulled her off, not wanting to be finished so quickly.
“Come here,” he growled, which he immediately regretted. He didn’t want to scare her, didn’t want her to fear he was already reneging on his promise to let her have control. But her smirk only got wider. He had forgotten how much she liked when he was rough with her.
She positioned herself on his lap, straddling him, and he brought her into a deep kiss. He furthered it by nipping at her bottom lip causing her to give a little gasp. When she did, he shoved his tongue in her mouth, tasting himself on her, tasting their collective spend that she had so dutifully cleaned off of him.
She was the one to break the kiss. She positioned herself above his cock and then slowly slid down. Gods, this felt good. She didn’t move her hips, instead she moved her hair off one shoulder to the other.
“Drink from me, please.” He looked at her, surprise evident on his face. But how could he deny himself when she was begging so sweetly? He leaned forward and ran his tongue along her pulse point until he found his favorite spot. The spot where she still bared scares from all those years ago.
He bit down, as gently as he could manage, but it couldn’t really be too gentle. He had been starving for her for too long. She let out a little whimper, first from pain, then from pleasure. He slowly drank from her, savoring each mouthful of the highly missed delicacy that was her. She tasted of sweet summer wine, of the sun itself. Each time he drank from her it took his entire willpower not to go too far, not to drain her completely. She was like a drug, and he could never get enough. Her blood flowed straight to his cock, causing it to get harder while still inside her, giving them both a delicious pressure.
Slowly, painstakingly, he forced himself to release her, licking up the blood as it flowed from the bite marks until the bleeding stopped. Only then did she start to move her hips up and down on his length. She kissed him, tasting her own lifeblood. Then her kisses started to trail from his lips, across his jaw, down to his neck. She grazed her own teeth against his neck and lightly bit down. He let out a loud moan.
Every person since her always let him be in control, always let him dominate them. They were beneath him in status after all. She was the only one who knew he liked to get as good as he gave. The only one who willing to match him.
She then took her tongue and started to trace the shell of his ear. He quickly snatched her off of him and tossed her onto her back on the bed. “Careful, darling, or this is going to be over too soon.”
She smiled up at him and giggled. “I like when I make you lose control. It shows me how good I make you feel.” He couldn’t help but to smile down at her. Because, well, she was right. She could make him feel so good, he would lose himself, and then it would all be over too quickly.
“I think, it’s time for you to lose a bit of control, don’t you think.” He said smirking as he took her by a hip and flipped her onto her stomach. She quickly repositioned herself onto her knees. He slammed himself into her sex.
He knew this was her favorite position. He could reach deeper inside her, pound into her harder and faster, his hands free to grab her hips, her breast, her hair, her neck. He could reach down and rub her clit if he wanted to. The only downside in her opinion was she couldn’t look into his eyes.
Even if she hadn’t expressly told him this, he would have known. Her body gave her away. She would writhe beneath him. Her moans would eventually turn into unintelligible noises and breaths. She would squirt onto his torso and legs, drip so much onto the bed below, there would be a wet spot for days. And she would never say to stop, never say it became too much. She would just climax over and over until it eventually turned into just one long drawn out orgasm.
It would only end when he would eventually follow her because of something she did. She would ram herself back onto him repeatedly, or reach back to cup his balls, or grasp the base of his shaft so she could feel with her hand as he slid in and out of her. Whenever she did one of those, it would all become too much and he would inevitably come undone to her. Not this time.
She was already writhing underneath him. The cottage didn’t have any neighbors close by, just a couple of smalls farms with land surrounding, but he knew that they could hear her voice carried on the wind, screaming his name.
“A-…-star-…-i-…-on!”
He decided to give her a little relief. He pulled out and flipped her back onto her back. He looked down at her, chest heaving with rapid breathes he didn’t need. A long forgotten habit of his. His newly beating heart pounding out of his chest, trying to keep up with his undead and ascended stamina.
She was breathing just as hard, if not harder, looking absolutely spent, and like the most gorgeous creature in existence.
“I love you.” He looked down at her but held his tongue. He couldn’t force himself to say it back.
As if reading his mind, she continued. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back, whatever your reason is. It has been 5 years. It’s okay. I just can’t help telling you how I feel.”
He leaned over her and took her into a deep passionate kiss, gentle, tender, loving. He tried to pour every emotion, every thought he had into that kiss. Tried to convey with his lips alone that the Ascendant wouldn’t let him say it back, even though he felt it, wouldn’t let her have that control over him again so quickly.
His undead heart only started to beat again after the ritual, and then it was quickly ripped from his chest the moment she walked away. He had only just got it back the moment she took him into her arms. He couldn’t willingly hand it over again after years of pain, and heartache, and torture without her, not so soon. He couldn’t let her know that she still held the key to cage he held it in.
He entered again, rolling his hips in the same languid, slow pace from before. He couldn’t tell her that he loved her, but maybe he could show her through his body. She was getting close; he could tell by her gasps that he was quick to swallow. And he was too.
He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. “Come with me, my love.” She nodded and was soon falling over the precipice; Astarion right behind her. He collapsed on top her, not wanting to remove himself from her warmth. Only moving so his arms were holding her, his face buried in its rightful place at her neck.
After she came back down from their high, she placed her hand on his head, turning hers, to whisper in his ear, “you make such sweet love to me.”
He moved his face from her neck until it was buried above her shoulder into the bed, so she wouldn’t feel the tears that had started to roll unbidden from his eyes. He squeezed her tighter.
I was tagged by @brain-rot-central. I’m tagging @verai-marcel and @luna-in-disguise. No pressure, of course loves.
Last Song: Flicker by Poppy (but I’ve also been obsessed recently with Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan)
Favorite Color: Pink 💖 (I’m such a pink bitch, no shame.)
Currently Watching: So I don’t really watch tv. I watch like a lot of YouTube, like a lot a lot. So I’m currently watching Neil Newbon’s latest VOD playing BG3. But if we’re talking tv, Yuri On Ice is on my list.
Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Yes? I like them all except that when it comes to sweets, I prefer to drink sweet drinks instead of eating sweet things.
Relationship Status: Single
Current Obsession: Still after all these months, Astarion. You wouldn’t be able to tell from my second page (@koalamuffin01) since I haven’t posted in a hot minute, but I’m just struggling with writing, not my love for the character lol. I still read fics everyday, all the time, it’s literally almost the only thing I do.
Last Thing I Googled: “[My area] Animal Control” There were a couple of dogs running around my apartment complex without tags and I had to get to work, so I couldn’t help. I called so hopefully someone would go out there and help the poor babies. I live near a highway so I was worried about them getting hit.
No, this is not the "only one bed" trope I'm afraid, although if anyone has any ideas for a fic w that trope, do drop you ideas in the inbox!
Summary: You and Astarion share a bed
At this point, it has become a habit for Astarion to move and leave half his bed free for you to plop yourself on whenever you enter his tent, despite all his grumbling about needing to move from his comfortable position. You then accept the invitation and happily lie down next to him, stretching your arms above your head with a relaxed sigh.
Tonight, Astarion wraps his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck and deeply inhales your scent. He loves how you smell like him, bergamot filling his nose and he lets out a contented sigh. You exude a pleasant warmth as per usual, sharply contrasting his own cold body. He shifts a little so that you can wrap an arm around him, nestling him in a cocoon of your embrace. His cold slender finger draws random shapes on your stomach while he rests his head on your shoulder, enjoying the silence that has befallen his tent.
It wasn’t long ago when such silence would have made him uncomfortable, unsure of what to do, unsure of what you wanted to do, but you had explained yourself upon noticing his discomfort, telling him that sometimes you were just too tired to do anything but still wanted his company. He had agreed to allowing you to do that, despite his reservations about what he himself could do during that time but soon realised that you really didn’t mind what he did.
If he felt just as exhausted as you, he would simply lie next to you, cuddling in the bed. If he still had some energy to spend, he would play with your hair or trace doodles on your stomach. If he felt peckish, he would drink from your neck. The only thing he couldn’t quite bring himself to do was trance whilst you were still awake. He told himself it was because he wanted to watch over you, but in reality, it was because deep down, he still feared that one day you would leave him.
The comfortable silence washes over the both of you, save for the quiet sound of your breathing and the rustle of book pages as you read the book you had brought along with you.
You glance down to check on your vampire lover, a small smile on your face when you notice how relaxed he is and start running your hand through his hair with your free hand. He croons in response and leans into the rhythmic touch, letting the calm wash over him. Your smile only grows wider, a small chuckle slipping from your lips which causes Astarion to look up at you, eyebrows furrowed.
“What, may I ask, is so funny?”
“Nothing, Star. Don’t worry.” You press a kiss to his creased forehead. “Although, if you keep frowning like that, there will be permanent wrinkles on your forehead.”
“Excuse me? I am a vampire! Eternally young and beautiful, all thanks to my already handsome features from before I was turned.” He huffs, burrowing his face deeper into your shoulder.
“Mmhm, if you say so,” you hum, setting aside your book to fully focus on him. As you play with strands of his curly silver hair, he gives yet another exaggerated huff, wrapping his arms around you and lightly nips at your exposed shoulder. He gives you a pout as he has done many times before and at this point, you would think you’d be immune to it but something about the way he pouts makes your heart melt each and every time.
“Come here,” you groan, rolling over to wrap your arms around him. He grins, happily nuzzling into your shoulder and welcomes the familiar embrace, filled with warmth and love. He feels safest like this, knowing that whatever happens, he will always have you to return to, that you will always have his back just like he has yours. You’re also permanently warm, and while that was something you found annoying, Astarion thanked whoever it was that made you such. He never needed to worry about the cold, not when all he needed to do was snuggle against you whenever he started to get cold, or simply felt like it. Not once did you ever turn him down, and he doubted you would ever do so.
You bury your face into his soft curls, suppressing yet another chuckle when you hear him mutter something along the lines of being one of the most beautiful vampires in all of Faerun.
“My apologies, one of the most beautiful vampires in all of Faerun.” You snort.
“Apology accepted,” he crows, ego stroked.
You can’t help but laugh, holding him close and pressing more kisses to the top of his head.
“Simply calling you beautiful doesn’t do you justice, you know.” You ruffle his hair.
“Oh? Do go on, darling.” His eyes twinkle with amusement and happiness.
“You see,” you indulge him, “it’s really easy to call you beautiful because everyone does that, and the phrase ends up losing all meaning. Calling you…say…‘my entire world’ however, still holds a lot of meaning because nobody else calls you that.” You’re not sure why you’re being sappy tonight but you do know that you’re more than happy to give Astarion all the compliments in the world and more. He deserves at least that much.
Tears prick the edges of his eyes at your words and he quickly buries his tearing face in your shoulder, not wanting you to see how your words have affected him.
“It means everything, coming from you,” he whispers, the words struggling to leave his clogged up throat. He squeezes your hand tightly, hoping that the small gesture can convey everything he cannot say and from the look you give him, you’ve received the message.
He shifts to rest his head on your chest, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat and closes his eyes, letting the feeling he can’t qute describe wash over him. He sinks into the endless abyss of warmth that is you, barely aware of your arm moving to wrap around him to pull him closer but he likes the support that it brings. Even if he were to sink, he knows — no trusts — that you will be there to catch him. Maybe he could let his guard down for just a little while, a short respite from the exhausting day and trust that when he opens his eyes again, you’ll still be there, watching over him with that soft look in your eyes. You wouldn’t leave him when he’s at his most vulnerable, would you?
Ignoring the nagging feeling in his heart, he lets himself slip into a trance, lulled by the soothing sound of your heartbeat and the warmth of your body heat. It’s times like these where he misses being alive, he wishes he could feel his own heartbeat, feel the warmth of his body but when you still curl up against him even on the chilliest of nights, he thinks to himself that perhaps he is alright the way he is, with his cold undead body and sanguine hunger. You may have already told him such when he was confronted with the choice of ascending but while you may have accepted him as who he is, he still struggles with it from time to time. Doubts continue to claw at his thoughts, no matter how many times you drive them away, but if you will continue fighting against them for him, he will not give up.
Your heart flutters when you realise he’s drifting off into a trance. He subconsciously curls tighter into your side, fingers tightly grasping whatever they can reach.
“Rest well, my star.” You murmur, lips ghosting his forehead. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off as well, holding your world in your arms.
Chapter Summary: Astarion finds himself on a beach after the crash of the nautiloid. To his surprise, the sun doesn’t burn him. He wants to revel in the joy of his new freedom, but it won’t last. He must get back to Cazador. Several plans start forming when he sees a female elf heading his way.
Ratings: Eventually, full story - E - Explicit (only suitable for adults) Chapter 2- T - Teen and Up
Warnings: Chapter 1: Canon BG3 Typical Violence, Act I Spoilers Full Story: Violence, Abuse, PTSD, Nightmares, Astarion’s Backstory, Cazador, Terrible Parenting, Force Marriage, Assault, Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence, Sex, Eventual Smut, BG3 Spoilers, Probably More (Will Update With Each Chapter)
Word Count: 1,660
A/N: Astarion POV (eeee!) Let me know if I just totally got his voice wrong. Much love <3
The Maiden In The Tower
Astarion was trapped, again. This time wasn’t in a dusty tomb or a coffin; he even had a little window to see out of, perfect for him to watch the world pass him by.
His mind felt fuzzy, and his limbs weren’t listening to what he was telling them to do. He remember the ship, the mind flayer, and devilish worm thing inserted into his eye, but then nothing. He must have blacked out, and he didn’t know how much time had passed.
Every so often the world would shift and then right itself as if someone was giving it a shove. He saw two figures run past the pod-thingy he was trapped in. One appeared to be a githyanki and the other an elf. He tried to scream, tried to will his arms to bang on his encasement, but his voice and body refused to listen.
Another shove to world, this time hard. Good thing he wasn’t currently standing. He felt like vomiting, probably would have if there was anything in his deprived stomach. Another shove, even harder, and then the world went black.
Astarion felt warm. A warmth had wrapped him in itself like a blanket, bringing a comfort and peace he hadn’t felt for - he didn’t know how long. And then it all came crashing back.
His eyes shot open, the first thing he noticed was a bright blue sky, a bright blue sky with a bright warm sun shining down on him. He tried to scramble away, tried to look for somewhere to hide. His mind raced, panic overtook him. Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods. There was no where to run, no where to hide. He was going to burn to death. He closed his eyes and accepted the inevitable…but it never came.
He slowly opened his eyes again. He…he wasn’t burning. How was this possible? His body should be cinders by now. Instead…instead he felt fine - felt knocked about, confused, and his ever present hunger, but relatively fine. What in all the hells?
Astarion burst into a full chested laugh. Had his horribly ill fated luck finely turned? Could this be a side effect of that monstrous thing implanted in his brain? He closed his eyes and smiled up at his once enemy and just basked in the moment.
Well, hello, darling.
And then the fear set back in. Cazador. He would punish Astarion for being gone this long. It wouldn’t matter that Astarion was taken by the ship against his will; it wouldn’t matter that Astarion had no idea where he was, let alone how to get back to the Gate. Cazador would punish him and punish him severely.
He had to get back, and he had to get back fast. Off in the distance, Astarion saw two people approaching. One of them appeared to be the elf that he saw on the ship, but she wasn’t with the githyanki. No, she seemed to be with a half-elf. Anger fueled him. Astarion needed to know who she was, why they’d taken him, what they put in his brain, and how he could control it.
The elf and half-elf were approaching but were stopped by an attack of brain monster things. They handled themselves well enough; the elf even healed them after. It gave Astarion a delicious idea. He’s played damsel in distress plenty of times throughout the centuries. And once they have their guard down? Well, his dagger would do nicely.
As the two women got closer, Astarion could see the elf didn’t look half bad. She was very clearly a high elf from a family of good standing. Maybe she would fancy herself a knight?
He looked around and decided the bush next to him would do well enough. Crouching, he started to call for help.
“Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain things cornered.” He gestured to the bush. “There, in the grass. You can kill it, can't you? Like you killed the others.”
The elf drew closer while the half-elf stayed back. This would be almost too easy. “There, can you see it?” A wild boar dashed out of the grass nearby. How had he missed that? Oh well. He drew his dagger across her neck and brought her to the ground.
“Shh. Not a sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours.” He remembered the half-elf. “And you - keep your distance. No need for this to get messy,” trying to keep control over both women.
“I need her alive - stow that blade or I'll show you just how messy things can get.”
The one in his arms’ heart was beating wildly. He could smell her blood and was positioned right near her neck. It took every ounce of willpower to try and not sink his teeth in her.
“Promises, promises. But I have other business, I'm afraid. Now, I saw you on the ship, didn't I? Nod.” He said to the elf. She nodded. “Splendid. And now you’re going to tell me exactly what you and those tentacled freaks did to me.”
“You’ve got it all wrong-” she tried to plead.
“Don't lie to mel I-agh.” A shooting pain overtook his head and he felt something wriggling inside his brain connecting his mind to that of the elf’s.
The eyes he saw through were not his own. He was running through streets that he himself knew as ones in the upper city of Baldur’s Gate, but whoever’s mind he was in did not. They didn’t know where they were going, they didn’t have a plan, all they knew was they had to get away. Get away fast and as far as they could. He was afraid and exhilarated all at once. I did it, I did it and I will be free.
Then a large boom came from the sky. A mindlfayer ship appeared. It looked like the one that took him (Or, do they all look like that?). Then an all new type of fear overtook him. He continued running but even harder this time. Trying not to look back. Heart beating out of his chest. What in the hells is that?! The thoughts were not his own but mimicked the same ones he himself felt when they took him.
He looked over his shoulder, just to see how close they were, and saw a giant tentacle come down from the ship heading straight towards him. Oh gods!
Then the pain subsided and he was back on the beach, back with the elf between his arms, looking just as scared and confused as he felt.
“What was that? What's going on?”
“It's the mind flayer's worm - it connected us.” She said, her voice shaking.
He slowly released her, and she rolled away in order to stand and face him. “You're not one of them. They took you, just the same as me.” He was seeing through her eyes when their brains connected.
The elf nodded and looked up at him with the biggest eyes he thought she could muster. Curios, one green, one blue. How did I not notice that before? “And to think I was ready to decorate the ground with your innards. Apologies.” He stood up straight, put the dagger away, and then flashed her a charming smile.
Okay, new plan. If she didn’t take him, maybe she could help him find a way to control the worms inside their heads. Then he could bring her with him back to Baldur’s Gate for his master. Surely Cazador wouldn’t punish him too severely if he brought him back something as pretty as this one.
She stayed silent so he pressed on. “Please, allow me to introduce myself. My name’s Astarion. I was in Baldur's Gate, when those beasts snatched me.”
“I’m Tav, and this is Shadowheart,” she gestured to the half-elf beside her, “we were both on the ship when it crashed. Well, actually, we were kind of the ones who made it crash.” She said with a small smile. Interesting. She might be tougher than she looks.
“My, my, you've been busy.” He put both of his arms on his lower back and leaned slightly towards her. Let her think I could be a friend, a confidant. “So do you know anything about these worms?”
“Yes. Unfortunately, they'll turn us into mind flayers.”
His arms and face fell. “Turn us into - ha. Hahaha!” Astarion looked away and started cackling because of course. Of course he was an idiot to believe his rotten luck would just magically get better. Of course he would never be free. “Of course it’ll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect.” What appeared to be a gift would turn into his doom, just like the last time. “Although it hasn't happened yet.” He turned to the elf. “If we can find an expert - someone that can control these things - there might still be time.”
“Control it? We need to get rid of it.”
“Well yes, of course. But first things first.”
He wasn’t really paying much attention to her. He was more focused on trying to come up with a plan on how to turn this whole thing to his benefit.
“You should travel with me. Our odds are better together. We’re going to look for a healer.”
What? Oh, this was going to be much easier than he expected. It was like she was asking to be a victim, better his than someone else’s. “You know, I was ready to go this alone, but maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea. And you seem like a useful person to know. All right, I accept. Lead on.” He did a little bow.
He could make this work. Let her play the hero, but he’d make sure he was the one that reaped all the rewards. This is going to be easy. And maybe even a little fun.
As an end of year present (and because I won't be able to bring u anything new until next week), have that one comic I posted for the VIPs a while back
Hey another Election Day Tuesday and that means I have a lot of time to kill! So a new update is the result lmao!
As always, thanks to @cheesy-cryptid for blessing me with permission to use her art as inspiration.
Thanks also goes to @micropoe10 and @tragedybunny for being my besties and betas and everything else for me. I love you both. Extra special thanks to @leomonae for encouraging me to try first person pov lol I DID IT MONA. BE PROUD OF ME.
Warnings for this chapter are as follows: mentions of death, violence, and grief.
This part of the city was peaceful at night, it was one of the things Astarion loved most. The walk back from Octavia’s house wasn't too bad, she lives about a 30 minute stroll from the main city. Pretty convenient, all things considered.
He walks down a hidden path that leads straight from her little cottage to the main road. He could've taken one of the other connecting streets to her house, but there was a somewhat romantic feeling to the solitude of being surrounded by the trees and wind.
Astarion steps towards the gates of the museum, no one should be here by now. Pushing the gate open, he makes his way down the paved walkway. The warmth of the sun still radiates from the ground. He turns and makes a detour down to the gardens.
The stretch of gravel to the lush greens is long, a tall figure peeks out from behind the rows of flowering shrubs Astarion surrounded her in. Tav’s arms stretched out to greet those who visited.
My treasured flower.
Astarion walks towards her, plucking a few buds from the walls of vines that wrap around each other. He looks up at her and sits at the bench at the base of her statue. Her gaze permanently locked in the adoring way she used to give him when he would fall at his knees and worship the ground she walked on.
I regret each choice that took me from you. My fears always let me make the worst decisions.
He stares up at her beautifully carved stone face, knowing it can't react to the words he says to her. “Hello, beautiful.” Astarion places the small bundle of flowers at her feet, a small token of everlasting devotion.
Staying at Octavia’s house felt strange. It's been a long time since he’s tried to do anything like that. After he left Tav, it felt wrong. No one was like her. The few he tried were pretty to look at, sure. With the right words, he could get close to anyone, but not the same way.
Astarion feels a small flutter of anxiety in his gut, something that he keeps trying to push away. This feeling of longing growing for someone else. The same feelings of excitement he felt when Octavia let him bite down and drink from her veins.
“I can't stop myself from thinking I've betrayed you by letting myself partake from another. I keep seeing you when I look at her. The same eyes, so soft, adoring, and curious. I hear you in her laugh, her words of comfort, and her cries of ecstasy. Her touch is sensual and familiar, so intimate in ways I've longed for. I even saw you when I finally gave myself away to the urge after I fed on her sweet blood.”
Astarion lays with his back flat on the stone bench. The stars shining as bright as that night he led Tav to the graveyard and lived his first night truly free. He closes his eyes and sinks into the warmth of the stone. If he tried hard enough, he could almost replace the breeze with Tav’s fingers running through his hair. He sighs and begins to speak.
“If you only knew how much I wanted to turn back and take you with me. I couldn't forgive myself for leaving you, but with all those feral spawn, I couldn't take the chance that you would be in danger. The thought of you being safe somewhere else with anyone else was better to me than having you by my side.”
He pauses, opens his eyes, and plays with his sleeve. “I couldn't take the chance for you to have a family away from you knowing that I couldn't give you the children you wanted. There were too many things that I knew you wanted and deserved.”
Astarion lets his mind wander. He stares at Tav’s face. “I guess now is a good time to explain myself. There's things I need to apologize for, and some things I need to tell you.” His voice quivers slightly as he trails off. The memories of the last century and a half without her flash periodically through his mind. He usually pushes them away, but tonight he lets them wash over him.
—-------------
The journey to the Underdark was lonesome and tiring, always having to lurk in the shadows. How many people would recognize me without her? How many would take their chances at killing me? I had to stay shrouded once more, sometimes I would get lucky and cross paths with someone needing a favor or two.
I’m not sure how many times I had to kill a shady merchant, an abusive husband, or slaver just to have a place to stay during the light of day. It seemed like one of the Gods finally came to watch over me during this long trek. It was always about killing the right people.
It took three months for me to finally make my way down to the Underdark. Considering, people weren't too open with any information on what had happened to the 7006 vampire spawn that we had freed. I had heard rumors of a mass casualty event, but without more information, it would be difficult to fully understand what they meant.
Eventually, I found a familiar face in the Myconid colony. I ran into my sister Dalyria as she was buying some potion ingredients from a traveling merchant.
I still remember the wide eyed stare Dal had on her face, her gasp of surprise as she dropped the potion bottle in her hands. Her sobs of happiness when she held me tightly in a grateful embrace.
The words that followed after she pulled away would haunt me forever.
“I thought you died with the rest of them.”
I was taken back, the rumors were indeed true. “How many?” I asked, anxiously awaiting Dal’s answer. She hesitates in answering, “We lost more than half our people that day. Mostly the Gur children, the starved, the weak, the ones who most likely wanted to die.”
We talked more once she finished. She led us down to the outpost she and Leon had settled in. I listened as Dal spoke quietly.
“We got caught in a solar eclipse. It was a total disaster. Youssen promised that he calculated everything correctly, but he didn't. I knew it would've been dangerous. I warned them, but he and Petras kept fighting with Leon and I. They were so desperate to get here and live freely that they turned the rest of the family against us.”
Dal sniffled and continued, “Everything happened so fast. They promised they had it down to the minute, but it seems that even with precise instructions, you can't account for arrogance.”
“Arrogance?” I asked, looking at our surroundings. Cave systems that twisted and snaked together to form a hidden stronghold. After a couple of miles or so, we were finally there.The broken and dilapidated temple where they had settled.
It looked strangely reminiscent of one that our group had visited once. I pushed the thought away as Dal led me through it. I noticed the number of spawn that resided there, a stark difference between the amount I helped free back in the bowels of Cazador’s manor.
Dal scoffed, “One can never account for those who are desperate to prove their point. No matter the cost to those around them. Like I said before, Petras and Youssen turned everyone against us. Violet and Aurelia followed soon after they explained their reasoning. It was hard to argue two against four after that.
They wanted to get here as soon as we could. So when they heard of the eclipse they figured it would save us around half a day. Leon and I couldn't argue with that kind of time, so the most skilled of us went first.”
“Where is Leon?” I interjected.
Dal’s eyes locked behind my shoulder, I turned and saw a staircase leading up to the next floor. “He goes up there alone frequently. After we were released,we explored the manor for a while. Gathering clothes and some other things for the journey. He saw Victoria. He..” she exhales, hesitating some.
“He hasn't been the same since. She was all he had left from his previous life.” Dal finishes with a quiver in her voice.
“Children are dangerous company for vampires.” I replied empathetically.
“Quite. Come on, let's get you a bed and some blood.” Dal placed her hand on my shoulder, she smiled, and walked off after a few seconds.
I followed her up to a small room with a solitary bed. She held the door open as I walked past her, dropping the brown leather bag I held over my shoulder.
“Apologies if it's not as luxurious as you're used to” she says with a small sarcastic tilt, "It's one of the few private rooms we have. Figured you would appreciate that over aesthetics.”
As Dal prepared to leave, I turned to her. She's paused by the door, halfway between the frame and the hallway. “Thank you.” My voice was quiet and soft. Dal looked at me and smiled, “Of course, brother. What is family for after all?”
—--------------------------—-----
Twenty years would pass with little problems. The vampires that lived in the outpost were used to having to ration. Hunting in small packs, majority of the time Leon and I would supervise them and teach them to hunt. We tried to be careful about making sure the younglings never went too far by themselves.
As the main hunters, the two of us would seek and kill animals on the surface at night, bringing the meat to merchants around Faerun once we broke down the carcasses and bleed them dry.
With the money we gathered, we would buy more blood from other butchers up top. We’d also get blood from other less than reputable sources, but as long as the blood was good, we wouldn't ask too many questions.
Leon and I were on our way back to the outpost after a few days out hunting and trading when Leon stopped mid step. “Brother, something feels off.” He held out his arm, took a few steps forward toward the opening of a cave, and stayed quiet for a moment. I walked up to him and concentrated on the noises around us.
I heard people yelling, sounds of feet shuffling, a loud rumble, and then sharp screams. “DAL!” Leon gasps, and rises to his feet, sprinting out to the maze of cave openings.
Once we got closer, Leon pointed out the smoke billowing out from the outpost, the thick clouds growing darker in color as we neared our destination.
“Astarion, we must find Dal!” Leon stood ready, with his hand on his crossbow. I looked around and noticed the two converging tunnels in front of us.
“We have to split up, Leon. We can cover more ground that way. Find her, I’ll see about the others.” I commanded, grabbing onto the daggers hung on my hip. I turned to run when Leon grabbed my arm, “Be careful, I’ll do my best to find you as soon as I find Dal.”
I nodded, sprinting down the tunnel. As I neared the opening of the path, the smoke became a thick curtain, making it more difficult to see. I pulled at the leather bag that hung from my back, searching for anything to help. “Come on, there's got to be something here.”
My hands moved frantically inside the bag, until I felt the texture of a scroll. “Fucking finally!” I unfurled it and began to speak the words inscribed. I raised my right hand and braced myself, a giant gust of wind came out in a burst of energy, clearing the way forward.
My legs pistoned me forward as I continued to look for Dal. I hurriedly made my way to the back of the outpost. When I got closer I noticed some rocks leading towards another tunnel. I ran following the path of debris until I reached the end.
One of the exits had been collapsed.
I knelt in front of the pile of rocks and began to dig into it, using my body weight to pull big pieces of stone away from the opening. I dug into the avalanche, my hands becoming raw and bloody as jagged pieces of rubble cut into my skin.
I keep digging, a sharp kind of sulfuric scent hits my nose and goes down my throat. I can taste the acidic notes, it’s acrid with a hint of ash. I immediately recognize it. Runepowder. However many people were in that tunnel, they were certainly dead. Someone did this on purpose.
I must find Dal.
The adrenaline pumping through my body kept me going until I heard yelling coming from inside the outpost. “Dal!” I ran into an open door in front of me, up some stairs. I crept up to a broken wall, the opening leading to the dining hall’s ceiling lined with wooden beams connecting the adjacent wall.
I stayed hidden in the shadows concentrating on the sounds around me. A short time passed before I heard some movement coming from underneath. I stepped forward and saw Dal and Leon. I gasped softly, gently stepping out to one of the beams obscured by the darkness.
Soon after, a group of at least 10 Gur flood into the room and block the only exit. A man steps forward as Dal and Leon realize they are outnumbered with no way out.
The man begins to speak, “Where is the third? We were told there were three of you running this bastardized commune.”
I continued to creep along the wooden supports, Leon noticed me and quickly turned back to the man in front of him. “I came back alone. My brother was…killed by a bulette when we were on our way back. It caught us by surprise. I was barely able to get away from it. I tried to save him but we couldn't overtake it. It killed him before I killed it.”
The man looks at him suspiciously, he nods and the hunters behind him point their crossbows at Dal. “I will not ask again, vampire scum. Where is the third?”
“I swear to you he's dead! There's no one else other than us now. You killed the others, did you not? I saw the bodies, the rubble, the fires. You said you collapsed a tunnel when you came in, is that not enough? We cannot turn anyone into vampires, we're mere spawn. We’ve been living in peace for a decade and a half. Why do you come hunt us now?”
Leon held his hands up as he plead his case, Dal trembled as she hid her face in her hands.
“One of yours killed an innocent woman. Found her drained near the sewers in the Gate. We caught him sneaking around underneath the Elfsong Tavern’s wine cellar. He told us about this place with at least 1500 of you waiting to be killed. Planned this little raid for a few weeks. Had some people watching your little outpost. Even paid some merchants to tell us your movements.” The leader explained.
Dal uncovered her face and looked up, noticing me watching them. Her eyes were full of fear. She shook her head slowly, mouthing “Run.”
I swallowed, my mouth feeling dry, I retreated to the shadows before the leader turned and looked up where I was just perched.
The man turned back to Leon and Dal while I watched them. “Kill them. If the third is gone, that means there shouldn't be any more of these abominations. Ulma should have destroyed you all when she had the chance, now that she's no longer our leader, her deals with you all are void. Consider this a mercy.”
He walked a few yards then he stops and speaks with a serious tone, “May the Moonmaiden have mercy on your souls.” He looks over at a woman to his right and nods at her. She steps forward and yells out “Take your positions. Fire on three.” I could've shot at her, but I would've be easily outnumbered.
I had to sit here and watch as the last two people I ever felt close to were slaughtered like lowly carrion. The Gur took no hesitation in killing Dal and Leon. They shot at them with what looked like silver tipped crossbow bolts.
I suffered hearing Dal and Leon’s screams of pain, the sounds of them dying were unbearable. I waited in the darkness for what seemed like hours until the Gur left, a wake of devastation behind them. The second their footsteps waned, I sprinted over to Dal and Leon’s crumpled bodies.
“No no no nononono.” I choked back, Dal and Leon’s faces were battered and abused, their clothes slathered in blood. I felt the rage and devastation crash down on me.
The guilt for letting the young ones hunt when I knew better than to trust them to go off alone. Leaving Dal alone while Leon and I left. Splitting up and letting Leon go off to find his death.
I couldn't help the sobs that came out when I was holding them, I realized I was finally truly alone. The sadness and anger just came flooding out. My eyes stung as the tears came out, lungs burning when the air expanded them sharply. I gripped on Dal and Leon, their bodies growing even colder by the hour.
A week would pass, I gathered what I could, buried my siblings, and left. I made my way back to Baldur’s Gate hoping to sneak into Cazador’s manor.
I knew the people of the city were too afraid to go near it. Leon and I had spread rumors of it being haunted, so that kept them out. We used to sneak inside using the underground tunnels that led to the kennels, ransacking the place and selling off what we could.
Leon came up with the idea of stashing small piles of gold away in loose floorboards around the manor. His foresight was a blessing.
I began to gather the piles and count my reluctant inheritance. After finishing, I realized I was set for the foreseeable future, but I still had a manor to legally obtain. I talked my way into becoming a historical conservator given the relics I had at my disposal.
My vast inside knowledge could be chalked up to being a lover of history and a studied mind. No one would be the wiser. I decided then that I would go to the City Council and plead my case to purchase the manor to turn into a museum honoring those whom I loved.
I took great care to disguise myself, thankfully Wyll wasn't in the City. He and Karlach were in Avernus. Gale had gone back to Waterdeep. Lae’zel and Shadowheart were living in a cottage somewhere near the mountains…And you…I don't remember where you ended up.
More time would pass, the museum was open after a year and a half of me selling, restoring, commissioning, and appointing a board. I opened with a team of people to oversee the major projects while I maintained the procurement of items for the galleries.
A century or so passed when I met a familiar looking young man. He came to apply for the lead assistant position straight out of Blackgate. Usually, their graduates would go out and teach themselves, but he wanted to research and preserve these items instead of being in front of a classroom full of people.
I questioned him for a few minutes, noticing the unusually similar flair he had to his speech patterns. The air of assuredness behind his statements.
When he told me his name was Gale Dekarios. I could hardly hide the shock on my face, luckily he didn't notice. “Dekarios? Any relation to the wizard of old legends?” I asked tentatively awaiting his response.
I watched as he wrung the corner of his blazer and cleared his throat. “Y- yes sir. He was my grandfather.”
Was? I thought wizards lived hundreds of not thousands of years? I hesitate before questioning him further. “Was? Don't wizards usually live many lifetimes over? Did he get killed in a grand battle?”
The young man bites his lip. A worried look flashed over his face. “Well it's still pretty recent, sir. I'm sure you know all about the Netherese Orb that used to occupy his chest?”
I swallowed fearing the worst, my throat clenched as if I had swallowed fire. I nod urging him to continue.
“A few years ago, my grandad started to have these bouts of chest pains that would last hours, days, sometimes even up to a whole tenday. My grandmum was a druid healer, so she would make him different teas, tinctures, balms, pretty much anything to help him. Nothing would ease his suffering. One day she helped him to bed, like she usually did, and she had me assist her in making tea for him.
My grandmum told me he was dying and I was the only male in our family that wasn't adopted or married into it. So I guess he wanted to keep his story alive and told me everything. His past, his mistakes and triumphs, friends he made and lost. He and I were close, he was my best friend.”
Gale cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. “So yes, I am related to *the* Gale Dekarios. I hope I can live up to the expectations my grandfather set forth.”
I hired him on the spot.
Now, to make a long explanation somewhat shorter, this is where things get complicated, my love. Here, I feel I may have fucked up.
You see, there was this woman Gale hired. It was about 6 years after hiring Gale. I was off in the Underdark around the anniversary of Dal and Leon’s deaths. I came up with some story about looking for artifacts to cover my tracks since Gale liked to ask a million questions. Guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree?
Once I got back to the museum, Gale had informed me of our new hire, Octavia. I imagined if she made an impression on Gale, then she would be useful at least at the administrative level.
I couldn't imagine what came over me when I got to know her more .
—--------------
Astarion sighs with a long exhale. He stares at Tav’s face, hesitating as if he's actually saying this all to her. “She's indescribable. Absolutely beautiful, smart, she challenges me the way you used to.” Sitting up, he presses his back against the stone platform.
“That night I saw her outside of the restaurant, I swore I saw you. You in front of me like the day we met.” He plays with his sleeve, not knowing how to proceed with this long overdue apology. Even if Tav wasn't really here physically, he was truly able to say the things he held behind.
All the regret from his idiotic spontaneous decisions, grief from losing those he loved and held closest, and most of all the devastating pain from losing everything he took for granted.
At the same time, something had dropped this precious jewel on his lap. Was it possible for him to be able to open up to someone the way he did with Tav? Octavia showed that she trusted him when he confessed about his true self. She even let him bite down and drink her blood.
Everything about Octavia was feeling the same, could she be some sort of reincarnation of his lost love? No. That would be impossible. Humans can't do that. Can they? He shakes the idiotic notion away, softly laughing to himself.
Besides, he saw the picture of Octavia’s family.
Astarion sits with his gaze pointed up at the night sky. It seemed like so long ago when he was doing the same type of internal argument about Tav. He's enthralled by Octavia and agonizing about it. Gods, somehow he was always stuck in a cycle of perpetual pining.
He wants to open up to Octavia more. Sprinkle in some truths to the little lies he tells.
Opening up to people has always been a struggle for Astarion, but Octavia has a way of prying his emotions out of him. It's so easy for him to let her reach into the emptiness and allow her to pull his past out.
Her hands pull at the chains around his heart, slightly loosening them with each gaze, each fleeting touch, all of the little ways she reminded him of Tav. Was this a sign of approval from beyond the grave? Maybe this was Tav’s way of pushing him to live again just as she did once before.
Astarion is in deep contemplation, he doesn't begin to notice as the night sky begins to turn light. The bird songs become more animated, he is knocked out of his head and begins to make his way inside. Thank the Gods that his suite is close to the gardens. The manor had secret entrances and rooms for him and his siblings to come in and out, convenient for a thoughtful vampire losing track of time.
As he goes into the museum, he sees the first rays of light break through the tops of the trees. It feels like that morning after the tiefling party, the cool air of morning breaking against the feeling of the warmth from the sun.
Astarion feels the same hopeful warmth from within. The same tug of curiosity that wants to allow Octavia in. He lingers at the doorway, watching the same sun begin to rise above the trees. So many similarities to weed through. He would take his time though, he can't rush this opportunity he's been given.
He has to trust whatever force is guiding him at this point. It brought Octavia to him, so it must be good. Turning to walk up the steps to his suite, he looks out the window and stares absentmindedly at Tav’s statue. Suddenly, a tiny green and blue hummingbird flits by and stops at the row of gardenias that lined the windowsill.
Astarion watches as the little bird takes a sip from the buds. It's fragile wings glint off the reflection from the glass. After zipping through a couple of flowers, it hovers facing him as if watching him. It's little head tilts to the left, then to the right, before flying away.
It's been so long since he's been around early enough to see them feed. It brings a small tug to his heart. Tav’s words about her people and how they grieve flooded back into his mind.
“There's a legend in my culture about hummingbirds being messengers for the dead. They say if you see one, it's a sign that your loved one is watching over you. I always thought it would be the way I would communicate with you if I ever died.” she’d say.
I just laughed it off and said “Oh darling, you don't have to worry about that. I would follow you into the dark if that day ever came. I’ll be close behind.” Another lie I told her.
Full Story Summary: Tav is a High Elf, Life Cleric of Corellon Larethian, from Baldur’s Gate, who was kidnapped by a mindflayer ship. Now she must save herself along with the other infected she meets along the way, one of which she feels an inexplicable tie to. What does Corellon have planned for her? What is the connection she feels with Astarion mean? Does he too feel this bond? Will she be able to save them all?
Chapter Summary: Tav awakes upon a ravaged beach and finds her way towards a handsome elf.
Ratings: Eventually, full story - E - Explicit(only suitable for adults) Chapter 1 - T - Teen and Up
Warnings: Chapter 1: Canon BG3 Typical Violence, Act I Spoilers Full Story: Violence, Abuse, PTSD, Nightmares, Astarion’s Backstory, Cazador, Terrible Parenting, Force Marriage, Assault, Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence, Sex, Eventual Smut, BG3 Spoilers, Probably More (Will Update With Each Chapter)
Word Count: 932
A/N: This is my retelling/head canon of how my original play through went with my Tav, Tav. Tav is a High Elf, Life Cleric of Corellon Larethian. Her backstory will remain a bit of a mystery for plot reasons but will eventually be revealed. She romanced Astarion. For posting schedule, I’m just going to try and post when chapters are ready. I already have the first two chapters done, so I will post them about a week apart. This is the first fan fiction I’ve ever written, so please be kind. Please let me know what you think in the comments. Thank you, bless.
The Pale Elf
The elf was the most beautiful man Tav had ever seen. Granted, she had not seen many, but his very essence seemed to reflect the sun that shined on him. He was simply radiant, and her heart skipped as she slowly made her way towards him as if guided by the divine. Nothing could stop her from approaching him, not her decorum, or teachings, and certainly not the half-elf who seemed to be wary of anyone who wasn’t them.
“Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain things cornered.” The elf gestured with his head towards a brush he was standing next to.“There, in the grass. You can kill it, can't you? Like you killed the others.”
Tav took a step forward. The elf drew closer. She just nodded, not trusting her voice around the man. “There, can you see it?” She put her hand on the pummel of her short sword and tried to peer around the bush to find the intellect devourer.
A mad dash of a wild boar who was hiding in the grass. Tav jump a little, put her hand on her chest, and let out the breath she had been holding only for it to be taken away when she felt the cold steel of a blade at her throat. She tried to run, but was swept from her feet to the ground by the elf.
“Shh. Not a sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours.” He looked up to where Shadowheart was standing. “And you - keep your distance. No need for this to get messy.”
“I need her alive - stow that blade or I'll show you just how messy things can get.”
Tav’s heart started pounding even harder in her chest. She didn’t particularly trust Shadowheart not to make the situation worse.
“Promises, promises. But I have other business, I'm afraid.” He turned his head back to Tav. “Now, I saw you on the ship, didn't I? Nod.” He said as one might to a child or someone they felt was intellectually inferior. Tav, terrified of doing anything that would cause the man to slit her throat, obediently nodded. “Splendid. And now you’re going to tell me exactly what you and those tentacled freaks did to me.”
“You’ve got it all wrong-” she started, finally finding her voice, but was cut off by the man.
“Don't lie to mel I-agh.” A shooting pain took over Tav’s mind. She felt the worm wriggling inside her brain connecting to the one inside the elf.
She was in a dark alley, late at night, peering at people who were talking, laughing, drinking outside what appeared to be a tavern, and was overwhelmed by a feeling of hunger.
As soon as it came, the vision and the pain inside her mind was gone. She was back on the beach in the man’s arms. “What was that? What's going on?”
“It's the mind flayer's worm - it connected us.”
He slowly released her, and she rolled away in order to stand and face him. “You're not one of them. They took you, just the same as me.”
Tav nodded and pleaded with her eyes for him to believe her. “And to think I was ready to decorate the ground with your innards. Apologies.” He stood up straight, put the dagger away, and then flashed her a charming smile.
How was she supposed to react to that? One minute he is threatening her life, the next he acts as if it can happen to anyone. Luckily she didn’t have to respond, he continued the conversation himself.
“Please, allow me to introduce myself. My name’s Astarion. I was in Baldur's Gate, when those beasts snatched me.”
“I’m Tav, and this is Shadowheart,” she gestured to the half-elf beside her, “we were both on the ship when it crashed. Well, actually, we were kind of the ones who made it crash.” She said with a small smile.
“My, my, you've been busy.” He put both of his arms on his lower back and leaned slightly towards her like he was wanting to hear some sordid gossip. “So do you know anything about these worms?”
“Yes. Unfortunately, they'll turn us into mind flayers.”
His arms and face fell. His eyes got as wide a saucers with what appeared to be both fear and sadness. “Turn us into - ha. Hahaha!” Astarion looked away and started cackling as if Tav had told him a funny joke. “Of course it’ll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?” He said more to himself then them. “Although it hasn't happened yet.” He turned to Tav. “. If we can find an expert - someone that can control these things - there might still be time.”
“Control it? We need to get rid of it.”
“Well yes, of course. But first things first.”
Something pulled inside of Tav’s stomach. It felt as if someone or something was tying a string from her to Astarion. Tav had never felt anything like it, but knew she must listen to it. “You should travel with me. Our odds are better together. We’re going to look for a healer.”
“You know, I was ready to go this alone, but maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea. And you seem like a useful person to know. All right, I accept. Lead on.” He said with a little bow.
Tav turned to Shadowheart who gave her an incredulous look. Tav just shook her head and shrugged as if to say, “Even I don’t know.”
