..... So I think I may have found a modern Islamic scholar to study the teachings of....
He was mentioned in my audiobook "Inside the Soul of Islam"(fantastic book btw highly recommend) and there was an exert of a like speech he gave against extremists and I just did a quick glance on his views.... They interest my own.
I think that when I have the brain power to do some dedicated study reading, I shall look into any publications of his theology.
Ya Allah, I ask You to cover me, to refine my heart, to discipline my nature, to improve my character, to regulate my behavior, and I ask You to occupy me with goals that are worthy of Your path, to bless me with wisdom in speech, the art of silence, eloquence in response, majesty in presence, and grace in absence.
“...and whosoever is mindful of God, He will always make for them a way out of difficulty, providing for them from sources they never could imagine; and whoever trusts in God, He is sufficient for them, for God will certainly carry through what He Wills.”
Treat hardships like guests. You have to treat them well whether you like them or not. They don't remain in your home forever, they visit and then leave.
Hi, do you have any tips on how to be comfortable being a Muslim while being queer?
I've been trying to do that for a very long time, focusing on my faith in Allah, but it's a bit hard and I always get demotivated randomly :(
Hey! Salam! Sorry for the kind of late response, moving houses has been hectic. This will be a long response (sorry), so I will put it under the cut.
I want to preface this by saying every queer person is different. I don't know the specifics of your identity so I am going to cover both sexual queerness and gender queerness.
My biggest obstacle in nurturing my relationship with Allah was believing that the way I am was haram, and even that I was cursed by Allah. I no longer believe this, but it was a long road.
Sexuality
I don't believe that homosexuality is haram. The common claim that the story of Lut is about homosexuality is full of holes and inconsistencies and it's largely based on the Christian religious tradition, even if the grammar of the Qur'an doesn't align with the Christian tradition (eg. the Qur'an uses the word "banaat" for Prophet Lut's (as) daughters. Bannat is plural, meaning 3 or more daughters, and in the traditional telling Lut (as) has 2 daughters).
Here is a really good study by Nahida Nisa:
I recommend reading all of Nahida's things because she's an amazing writer.
as understood by Mehedi. Note: As of November 2023, The WordPress article is updated, but the PDF is an old, incomplete draft. Introduction
And a video from Dr. Shehnaz Haqaani's (PhD, Islamic Studies) podcast "What The Patriarchy":
and you can find her blog here
These articles from the blog, Lamp of Islam are also pretty good. He is a hardcore Qur'anist with some strange opinions, so peruse his blog with caution.
Letting go of the belief that the way I am was haram and that Allah had cursed me was the most critical part of fixing my iman and overall nurturing my relationship with Allah.
Also, it doesn't make any sense that The All-Merciful, Allah would make someone with an innate attraction to the same gender and then forbid them from "acting on it".
The Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) never punished anyone for homosexuality, after his death, his companions debated whether or not to punish homosexuals and they could not come to a conclusion.
Gender
The Qur'an seems to acknowledge the differences between sex and gender. For example, the word for 'man' in the Qur'an is rijal and the word for 'male' is dhukran. And the word for 'woman' is nisa, but the word for 'female' is untsa. You can read Lamp of Islam's article on the meanings of these words here.
There also may be a vague reference to intersex and/or gender non-conforming people in verse 42:50.
There are also some hadith that seem to imply that gender non-conforming people were accepted around Prophet Muhammad (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam). Prophet Muhammad's (Salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) wife Umm Salama (Radi Allahu anha) had a seemingly close friend who was then called a 'mukhanath', named Hit, who was described as a 'male who exhibited effeminate traits' was was welcome into the private women's section of the Prophet's (Salla Allahu alayhi wa salam) home. Today this person might have been a gay man (who displayed effeminate traits by accepting the "woman's role" (🙄) in relationships), or, more likely IMO, this person would be considered a trans woman today.
Hit was punished by the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wa salam), but not for their sexuality/gender expression, they were punished for describing a woman's body to a man, which was possible because they were allowed into both men's and women's spaces. The punishment of Hit is often used as 'evidence' to support homophobia and transphobia, but they neglect to mention the specific reason that Hit was punished.
You can read more about queerness in Islamic history here.
The link above takes you to Muslims For Progressive Values, they also offer marriage services for queer Muslims and interfaith couples, specifically for Muslim women seeking to marry non-Muslim men.
Here is a link to MPV's video series, but massive trigger warning for the comment section.
And a second MPV video series.
And another article from MPV.
More Tips
As I said, learning about LGBTQ Islamic History helped me a lot.
Keep your relationship with Allah between you and Him. Only share it with people who you 100% trust, because religion is extremely personal.
Find your people. Whether online or in-person, a community of people like you is important.
Know that Allah knows you, your identity, and the way you feel. Ultimately, Allah is your creator and we will only return to him. And we, as queer people KNOW that this is the way we were created. Nobody can tell you that who you are is false because they have no way to know that.
Block. Block. Block. Block. Block anyone who is being a problem, who might become a problem in the future. Block them all. Block Islamophobic queers, block queerphobic Muslims. Protect your peace and your relationship with Allah at all costs.
Here are people that I block quickly: anyone who has outwardly queerphobic or Islamophobic things posted on their page. Salafis and Wahabis. The black flag freaks: those with black flags in their user names/bios. I block people for the comments they leave all the time. Generally, I don't wait for them to do something, I block them on sight.
You mentioned that you struggle with low imaan sometimes. It's important to know that fluctuations of imaan are normal and completely natural. But I'm assuming since you've sent this ask, you always come back, which is what's important.
Here is another video from Dr. Shehnaz Haqaani's (PhD Islamic Studies) Podcast for Muslims who struggle to practice.
And a TikTok from @/soundous.boualam:
My biggest tip for building faith is to start slow.
Pray one prayer a day at first, and wait until that prayer is deeply ingrained into your habits, then add another. I recommend starting with Isha before bed. Don't try to do everything at once. You'll burn yourself out.
Build up the fard actions. Your prayers, primarily.
If you can take on more, add in the dhikr after prayer (subhanallah 33x, alhamdullilah 33x, and allahu akbar 34x). Or add dhikr in throughout your day. I use an app called Azkar that I set to send notifications to remind me to do various worship activities.
When I braid my hair I say alhamdullilah every time I cross a piece over another.
If you can, it might also help to put a poster or picture on your wall with your favorite Qur'an verse, hadith, or Islamic quote on your wall, or make your screensaver a reminder to remember Allah.
You can also buy or make a beaded tasbih bracelet, sometimes having something on your wrist can make it easier to remember.
I also like to spend 20-30 minutes every morning after Fajr to just spend time with Allah, talk to Him, and read the Qur'an.
But also remember that you don't only get rewarded for outright acts of worship. You get rewarded for caring for your body, taking a nap when you're tired, eating food, drinking water, caring for pets, and spending time with family. All of that stuff is worship.
Be easy with yourself. Allah does not want hardship for you (2:185).
And I'll leave you with a Qur'an verse.
It was We Who created man, and We know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him that [his] jugular vein. (50:16)
I hope this helps you some. I love you. Allah loves you. May Allah bless you with peace, imaan, and His abundant guidance and mercy, Allahumma Ameen.
You can ask questions in the comments or in asks if you want.
I pray that I'm never a source of pain for anyone. I pray I don't bring darkness in anyone's life. I pray that I'm a source of light and goodness wherever I go.
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