omnivore

Born to Consume

[dmonet-macitan]

learned how to use blenders film making tools

[pukicho]

'Dirty' is a concept invented by British imperialists to keep you from enjoying God's nectar: Swamp Water!

[silence-hetero]

Stop drinking the swamp water pukicho

[pukicho]

No pain no gain

[butchgender-remade-deactivated2]

cock? like from the john green monologue? you know it's not real right?

[verylittlebird]

a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

[seriousjones]

I’m so ready to be able to legally drink. only eating all these years has left me very thirsty. I have heard very good things about water

[lake-erie]

when u go to pick up the vase u saw on craigslist but when u get there it’s actually two people facing each other

[rollforbraincells]

now that i’m fully vaccinated i can return to rolling dice by putting them fully into my mouth and spitting them back onto the table

[parakeet]

im eating the gemstones in the museum gift shop i like the taste

[parakeet]

[darthbanes-deactivated20160626]

ily: i love you

ilysm: i love you so much

dlmoisttlotjidnftdsaydihbpjfastmne: Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, justice, freedom, and security to my new Empire.

[hollowbon3s]

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

[cherrystrawberrie]

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

i finally found the best youtube comment

[nmri]

[c3po]

*exchanging wedding vows*

me: fullmetal alchemist my wife: *slightly differently from how I said it* fullmetal alchemist

[normal-horoscopes]

[STRIKES MY WIZARD STAFF ON THE GROUND AND IMMEDEATELY DUCKS BEHIND A ROCK]

[normal-horoscopes]

[THERES A FLASH OF LIGHT AND THE RITUAL CHAMBER IS COVERED IN SPAGHETTI]

[normal-horoscopes]

[I OPEN MY GRIMOIRE AND MAKE ANOTHER TALLY UNDER THE COLUMN LABELLED "SPAGHETTI"]

[normal-horoscopes]

[THE OTHER COLUMN IS MARKED "SUMERIAN HARVEST GOD" AND IS COMPLETELY BLANK]

[railroadsoftware]

Ancient Greek guy talking to Ancient Greek artist: so what kind of art do you do? Ancient Greek artist: handsome muscle boys Ancient Greek guy: nice, love that

[furfag]

what is really more embarrassing, wearing a fursuit and pretending to be an animal or wearing clothes and pretending not to be

[brucebocchi]

tell me, will,

[mwg-drwg]