“I don’t know what my goals are, no. Thanks for asking.”
One Nice Bug Per Day
Not today Justin
noise dept.
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KIROKAZE

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@kolorzapster
“I don’t know what my goals are, no. Thanks for asking.”
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Commission for @kotaka-kun !!
Thank you so much for commissioning me! It’s not often I draw and color this style of clothing, so what a fun challenge!
Critical Role: DIVE IN TO DOL-MAKJAR 🗺️ 🔍
From the Hallowed Round to the Falcon's Rest, explore the lore of Aramán's City of Shields with this magnificent official map by #CriticalRole cartographer Andy Law, PLUS a handy guide to key locations in Campaign 4!
Even more from C4 awaits TONIGHT (5/19) at 7PM PT as we spill the tea with the Schemers' Table in an all-new, LIVE installment of Tale Gate on @hellobeacon, YouTube, and Twitch! 🫖 ✨
LEARN MORE AT CRITROLE.COM!
[ Map artwork by twitter.com/Hapimeses 🧭 🖌️ ]
oooo im such employeebait. i have skills and experiences 😛 ooo u really wanna employ me don't u mr capitalist oooo
Maybe I shouldn't consult the sad TV doctor on this one
PATREON
BuckTommy - I Got You
Did I love the show dropping Theo into Buck's life and killing off his parents in roughly forty-five minutes just to hand Buck a last-minute finale storyline?
Absolutely not!
But Theo is ridiculously cute, and the second he appeared on screen, my brain immediately went: okay, but what if Tommy met him?
So naturally, I had to write a BuckTommy reunion fic featuring one chaotic little boy.
Hope you enjoy this, and let me know what you think!
I Got You
Summary:
Tommy's flight hours are tapped out for the shift, so he ends up running with the 217 ground crew instead. After a fire breaks out at a crowded indoor playground, he and Lucy are sent inside to find a missing four-year-old. He never expected the rescue to bring someone else back into his life.
sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.
Love having consent to send mutuals nsfw content. Reblog if your mutuals have consent to send you nsfw content.
reblog to play with the balls of the user you reblogged this from.
my two brain cells
This is what executive dysfunction looks like
Inside you there are two hamsters…
@noisypaintersong
10000 likes!
Oh.
Every time I see some joke about Star Trek-style teleporter technology I'm like "I should write a story about the potential of this technology re: the whole 'killing and copying people' thing and the ramifications of being able to essentially print people" and then I remember I already wrote it. Every single time.
#*two hours later* hey derin? what the fuck was that
Expected result of teleportation technology I think
#I WAS TRYING TO GO TO BED 😭😭😭#just reached the end of part 1 i can't stop send help#fiction
Read the rest in bed! Problem solved!
#Holy fuck, this story changed me.
Good, that's what stories are supposed to do!
Oh wow. Wow wow wow wow geez. Go read this
I say this with all the love in the world. What the fuck.
(Also, hey, go read this. You'll think you know what you're getting. You won't.)
No, that's about what I expected from a Derin short story. Those things stick with you forever!
If I'm going to go to the effort of typing it up it had better fuck people up or I might as well go play computer games instead
Whelp, that just entered my category of “stories that aren’t technically horror, but really feel like it.”
That’s a good thing of course, the story was brilliantly written, and I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.
That category is most scifi
Just read this. What the fuck Derin
Derin, what the fuck was that???? Cursed implications
Derin, what the fuck.
I keep telling you guys! Stori!
#my grandpa liked your story#he says you have a marvelous imagination and developed a very unique story#and said the ending was poignant#I agree with him#great story
You guys heard it here first, mysterious-corpse's grandpa liked my story.
scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast
My Shakespeare students (they are 12) wanted to summarize the lessons they learned this semester. If. Um. Anybody would like to see.
I cannot emphasize enough that they made these with very little input from me.
Henry the Fifth
- ALWAYS encourage others to do their best.
- NEVER talk about people behind their back.
Antony and Cleopatra
- ALWAYS check your produce for pests. [They liked this one so much made a rap about it.]
- NEVER count your chickens before they hatch.
Hamlet
- ALWAYS act decisively
- NEVER tell your girlfriend to go to a convent and become a nun [Oh boy they REALLY liked this one]
Romeo and Juliet
- ALWAYS collect all the important information before making an important decision
- NEVER bite your thumb at us, sir. [They enacted this scene in the original language a lot, except they swapped every “sir” for “bro.”]
The Merchant of Venice
- ALWAYS pay your debts.
- NEVER judge based on appearances, because “all that glisters is not gold.”
The Tempest
- ALWAYS try to forgive others.
- NEVER be a colonizer. [Yes, a middle schooler said this]
Midsummer Night’s Dream
- ALWAYS stay on forest trails
- NEVER fall in love with an ass. [They were excited about this one for obvious reasons.]
Twelfth Night
- ALWAYS stay in touch with those important to us
- NEVER read other people’s mail
Macbeth
- ALWAYS wash your hands. [One of the girls performed Lady Macbeth’s entire Out Damn Spot monologue at the end of the semester]
- NEVER succumb to peer pressure.