K.O. Myers

Creator of @resumespeak and @omgdsm. Occasional comics about my unfortunate brain. I fan dismantling oppressive systems and candid discussions of privilege.

[komyers]

@[email protected]

[resumespeak]

How to put "overpaid for a social media platform, failed to understand its business model or user value proposition, eliminated or radically deincentivized its staff, and publicly torched my reputed business acumen in less than a week" on your résumé.

- Pulled a Total Elon

[komyers]

I have a self-centric birthday ask. To help me celebrate level 47, please subscribe and share the link to my new Substack newsletter. https://particulations.substack.com/ I'll be sharing my thoughts about #podcasting and updates on Particulate Media projects; I'd love to have you join me. 🥳

P.S. I also have a cold, so I'll take a pity subscribe. 🤧

[komyers]

Me too, tomatoes. Me too.

[probablybadrpgideas]

an aasimar celestial warlock whose patron is literally their mom

[komyers]

Trust fund spell slots?

[resumespeak]

How to put “made my own mask” on your résumé:

Designed, produced, and deployed a bespoke respiratory exhaust filtration garment asset.

[resumespeak]

How to put “installed a bidet” on your résumé:

Deployed a prefabricated redistribution infrastructure to harness municipal water resources for mission-critical backend sanitation initiatives.

[komyers]

I was driving today when I realized that "Thanksgiving buffet" fits perfectly into the chorus of "Raspberry Beret." My body didn't drive off the road but my brain is dead in a ditch.

[komyers]

[hustlerose]

u ever talk to a business major and ur like “so what do you do?” and they fuckin say something like “i work in aggregate client centric business executive content data management logistics analytics development” like sir none of those words have definitions 

[zarohk]

@resumespeak

[komyers]

[komyers]

I just wanted you to know... (at Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz62NQFg4WU/?igshid=1h43e1c4jzy6d

[resumespeak]

How to put "glitter!" on your résumé:

Applied an aggressively persistent granular decorative particulate to dramatically enhance chromatic and reflective optical engagement of both targeted and incidentally contacted surfaces.

[resumespeak]

[resumespeak]

How to put “chose the right container for my leftovers” on your résumé:

Maximized efficiency of in-situ thermally de-energized storage capacity by leveraging a visually oriented volume assessment algorithm to accurately right-size an excess portion of prepared consumables inventory to an appropriately proportioned short-term containment asset.

[komyers]

#onenicething #buylocal (at Kaldi's Social House) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxCr2WrATKS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wbpaoohictlb

[komyers]

[komyers]

Morning coffee on the porch. https://www.instagram.com/p/BvovD9eg9kR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=kzxhvl3tnws8

[komyers]