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cobaltdays-deactivated20210208

[Scene: Me, passed out on an operating table. A Doctor and Nurse stand beside me]

Doctor: Nurse Bussy, we need two gallons of cum stat, or this boy will die!

Nurse: Doctor masc4masc, we ran out yesterday…

Doctor: Sweet Lorde, if that’s the case, then there is only one thing we can do now.

Nurse: You don’t mean…?

Doctor: Yes, code bukkake is our last and only hope.

Nurse: *soft gasp*

Doctor: *Unbuckling his belt* We must act quick, Nurse Bussy. Gather every person with a penis in this building and have them cum here ASAP!

Nurse: Yessir, I’m on it! *Runs out of the room*

Doctor: *Cranking his meat* I promise you, boy, you will not die under my-UGHNFG FUCKFKCUCK NGHUGH *Cums into an IV bag* You will not die under my watch!

cobaltdays-deactivated20210208

Me leaving the hospital after a successful life-saving cum transfusion:

selkise

love watching straight people’s reaction to how we knew someone was gay because it’s always stupid things like “i asked her where she got that button up shirt and she said the men section of zara” or “she got into a heated debate about werewolves and only a gay person would be that passionate about werewolves” and straight people’s wack ‘he has a lisp’ gaydar cannot comprehend this level of secret language and just look at us like

valtsv

but that’s none of my business 🤷💅

mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours

glittangrease

i hate to add to the list of posts like this bc i understand that ppl are in worse off situations but i need help with my living situation. i moved to my current space back in march trying to get away form an awful apartment complex but i basically took a sleigh ride into a shitty neighborhood and things have been a shit sandwich ever since (not that no one else is having a difficult year).

in april i had an abortion during a HIGH stressful time while working a dispensary/retail during covid, in may i learned that my stepmom whom I'd been estranged from for two years (toxic, cut off ties) died of cancer; no one told me she was sick and my dad didn't even call me to tell me that she died. And then in July my home was broken into while we were sleeping and its just been mental/emotional hell. (we were not physically harmed, intrusion is just incredibly violating)

my husband is out of work and his unemployment is frozen due to fraud in our state and idk when it will be fixed (anyone in any state rn can tell u it's IMPOSSIBLE to get a hold of someone on the phone for unemployment help). i did find a job at a grow facility but it is an hour and 40 min away from where i live.

im looking to better my living situation and get a place closer to my job by October but i need help, any help i can possibly get. if u have $1-5 to spare it would be beneficial, I can't ask for any more than that... and even if u just share this post it would be greatly appreciated

venmo @Deja-Johnson91

paypal - paypal.me/dejaj6

cashapp - $dejaj6

glittangrease

just found out today during an oil change (THANK U TO EVERYONE WHO HAS SENT $ bc it helped pay for it) that due to heavy mileage future maintenance fees for the car will equal around $800...

plz rb this post... im transparent, flattened and a bit desperate

torturedlustxxx

SIGNAL BOOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chaandajaan-moved

Dark academia things you should NOT strive for:

Caffeine addictions. this shit ain't cute, learn better ways to manage you sleep and energy.

Workaholic culture, working hard is great but not in exsess

Romanticizing mental illness, you are just as valuable and talented healthy, happy. don't convince yourself otherwise

Elitism, you aren't better than other ppl for being more educated if your not polite.

Eurocentric: Dark. Academia. is. Not. Just. For .White. Skinny. People. In. Blazers.

Neurotypical lifestyle and studying patterns. If you can't do things the way neurotypicals do then don't force yourself. I tried to force myself to tale notes and memorise things the way is been taught in high school rather than what was best for me.

tomfordvelvetorchid-deactivated

I too want a bunch of tiny bowls to hold spices in while im cooking but who’s gonna wash them....not I

buzzfeedlgbt

slothful-rabbit

Legit it’s what happened but it’s hilarious when put like that

zmije

I think soulmates are real but they r made not found and also they are your friends

ithelpstodream

catchymemes

quill-and-chalk

Major Networks: Kids just can’t understand complex themes and subjects. You have to dumb everything down for them...

Avatar: How about the theme no one is truly evil. Everyone can be redeemed. You always have a choice. Friendships last more than one life time... all while having the world almost burn into a fiery flame and our main protagonists having to wonder if they truly believe in all the themes I just mentioned.

Over the Garden Wall: What about having a show where it’s just big metaphor for the after life and it’s kids wondering in the grey area between life and death. Along the way they learn how to truly treat each other as brothers... and make it only slightly scarring.

Gravity Falls: I love what your doing with the sightly scarring bit but what if we adding the theme of all good things must come to an end, You don’t know everyone’s situation, and life is a mystery so go out and solve it. Also let’s add some codes for kids to crack... because they’re smart.

Steven Universe: Okay but what about the theme love conquers all but also show the hardship war and destructive love has on people and how it can hurt people even thousands of years after the fact, but it’s never too late to try and make it better... also make it have queer representation.

She-ra: See, I like what your doing with that queer representation... but what if we showed that abuse victims don’t have to continue the cycle even if it seems like they reached a point of no return, they can become better. Also show that everyone has the power to be good but not everyone will choose to be good, and you can be selfish sometimes... also let’s show an wlw that has no mentions of homophobia... because lesbians with swords.

Networks:.... what?