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coffee | guilty pleasures series | b.sk

You thought you could take on the very difficult mission of organizing your sister's wedding solely with the intention of her forgiving you... until you reach a breaking point.

✾ pairings: boo seungkwan x female reader ✾ genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ✾ au: theatre performer seungkwan, childhood crush to lovers ✾ word count: 16k

✾ warnings: toxic family dynamic (reader's), hurt comfort, foul language, smut with plot, alcohol consumption, soft to hard dom seungkwan, sub reader, big dick seungkwan, they're both so down for each other it's disgusting, hand kink, oral sex (both receivers), degradation kink, nipple play, dirty talk, manhandling, hair pulling, biting, marking, spitting, cum play, cum eating, dry humping, impact play: spanking, rough sex, dry humping, unprotected p in v sex, creampies, rough bj, aftercare. pet names: honey, baby (hers)

💌 — this chapter goes out for the nonnie that told me (ages ago) they wanted a hard dom seungkwan... please try not to faint (>ᴗ•)♡

→ series masterlist – shared au masterlist – milestone event

✾ author's note: so.... i am really sorry for not updating this fic for a year lol. i really suck when it comes to hyper-fixations and i stuck to writing my jihan series for the whole of 2024 and sort of neglected my other fics, and for that i'm sorry. i hope y'all enjoy this!

✾ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers only. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot 🙂

part iii — coffee

“Well?”

You looked up to the sound of your younger sister’s voice, which pulled you out of the whirlwind of thoughts that had been haunting you since you woke up this morning. You swallowed hard. “Mmm?”

The memory of the events that happened the night prior was still fresh in your mind, every time you closed your eyes, you’d see him. Flashes of Seungkwan’s hands, his eyes, his lips… the sounds he made, the words he poured into your ear. Splashes of memories that left your face feeling hot.

“How does this look?” your sister sighed, visibly frustrated at your lack of attention to her.

That morning, you were supposed to be showing her the final version of how the tables would look fully set up for her wedding reception. It was something that you had already worked on for days, you had already set every flower arrangement, napkins, cutlery, everything. So you were only showing her the final look.

Until she changed it at the last minute.

“Okay,” you conceded, noticing that she just wanted to change the napkin placement on top of the plates.

“Nice,” she bounced on her feet, clasping her hands together. “Oh, and I want to move some guests too, can we arrange that?”

“Guests?” you eyed the printed list of guests sitting on the table. “What do you mean?”

She grabbed the list and pointed with the tip of her neatly done acrylic nails to some of the names on the list. “I want to move my friends and Jisung’s friends to our table.”

A feeling of annoyance coiling deep in your stomach made you pause. You breathed in slowly, looking at the names she was pointing at. “And where do you expect our parents to be sitting at? And Jisung’s parents?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said, clicking her tongue and tossing the printed list back on the table. “Maybe on the table where our friends were seated initially?”

“You mean the table where your other friends are? Five tables across from you?” you pointed to the next page, where you had a visual representation of how the tables would be arranged.

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, not really looking at where you pointed.

“I don’t think we should change them,” you mentioned reluctantly. “I think that having our parents close to you fits more. It’s sweet.”

Your sister deadpanned to you. “Are you saying no because you really think that, or are you avoiding the amount of work that changing and arranging the seats again will give you?” she threw the question with the same delicacy she had treated the list of guests earlier.

“What?” you gasped, wide-eyed in astonishment.

“You heard me,” she cooed, adding another tiny shrug.

“No, I mean it,” you sighed, trying to swallow your exasperation. “Fine, I’ll do it, but if mom asks why she’s no longer sitting next to you at the reception, I’ll just tell her to ask you.”

But your sister was already standing up from the chair while you were mid-sentence, walking out of the dining room and leaving you to deal with another mess that you were not expecting. You would’ve stalked her out of the dining room if you weren’t distracted by the sound coming from your phone.

[8:23 AM] kwannie: does 7 pm work for you tonight?

You stood up from your chair abruptly, feeling lightheaded as you yanked your gaze from the phone screen. Oh boy, you said under your breath, trying to keep your feelings at bay, but you could not control the merciless shudder that took over your body.

The reason why you were so aloof that morning, is because you couldn’t stop thinking about the night prior. You couldn’t stop thinking about Seungkwan taking you in that boat shed, you couldn’t stop thinking of his hands roving all over your body, his touch lingering on your skin.

Your fingers trembled as you typed your response.

[8:23 AM] you: 7 pm is perfect 😊

Not wanting to come off as too desperate, or intense, you doubted a long second before hitting the send button. Even if Seungkwan had expressed his desire to take you out on a date, and be serious with you, the self-doubts were too difficult to avoid.

But aside from the constant self-doubting, you were glad that Seungkwan was there to make this whole event easier to… digest.

[8:24 AM] kwannie: how’s work going?

Seungkwan knew that organizing your sister’s wedding wasn’t your actual job. You had hit an unfortunate bump in life and somehow had fallen into a journey of arranging the big day for your little sister, you found out that this might be something worth investing more time and effort in. Seungkwan was adamant that you should’ve at least charged your sister and her soon-to-be husband something for your long hours of work.

You had been working every day since last week, overseeing every single detail your sister wanted you to polish to perfection. Flowers, cutlery, music, lights, entertainment, do this, do that. Even one day before the wedding, she was still attempting to change and add different things to your already brimming agenda.

You felt tired, and no longer excited to see your little sister getting married to the so-called love of her life. You didn’t even like the guy. But that was beside the point.

It was becoming harder and harder to even blink, eyelids growing heavy as you watched your sisters chatting over one of the arranged tables. Their fingers slithered on the carefully folded napkins, and you held your breath, bracing yourself for what you knew was coming.

“Do they have these in mossy green?” your little sister asked, turning her head over her shoulder to draw your attention.

“What?” You blurted, anger rising inside you. But before you sprung into an argument, you sifted through your notes, finding a scrawl of her request: napkins in chestnut brown. “Didn’t you want them in this color?”

“I’m just asking, maybe we could change them into green,” your younger sister, Minnie, mumbled with great ease.

Her request might’ve been valid, but it was her mannerisms that set you off. “You know that the wedding is tomorrow, right?”

“And?” Minnie lifted her shoulders up. “Can’t you just make a call and have them brought over?” she looked at your older sister, requesting backup.

“It shouldn’t have to be such a big deal,” your older sister, Yujin, said dismissively.

“But it is,” you countered, looking at both of them as you started feeling smaller. “It’s not that easy, and we don’t have time for that anymore.”

Minnie raised her phone to her eyes and showed it to you. “It’s ten in the morning, I’m sure we have plenty of time for tomorrow night.”

You rolled your eyes so hard it hurt. “Yeah, and who is going to fold two hundred napkins and place them in each seat? You?”

Minnie crossed her arms, sending another one of those looks to Yujin. “Of course not, I have to get ready for my wedding.”

“Exactly, and I have to get your wedding ready. I don’t have time to do this,” you said exasperatedly, throwing your arms in the air.

Yujin blinked. “Oh, what else do you have to do? I thought all of the arrangements were in order already.”

You gasped, taking a step back from both of them. “I have things I want to tend to before tomorrow,” you said, though the rage in your tone had fizzled out, knowing that you had fallen into their trap. “It’s private.”

It was a futile attempt, to emphasize that you wanted to get private matters done. They would start to stick their fingers to poke and prod around the little safe haven you had with Seungkwan.

“Right, private,” your big sister spat. “Like you made it private when you walked out of the dinner last night with what’s his face?”

You gaped, resisting the urge to walk out right there and then. Your tummy ached so bad you knew it had already ruined the rest of your day. “That is none of your business.”

“Really? Do you have no decency?” your sister continued, crossing her arms in a near-parental way.

“Sister,” Minnie gasped, her eyes wide as your eyes started to brim with hot tears, making your vision blur.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Yujin,” you bit back, your tone devoid of firmness, reduced to a wobbly mess. “So back off before you say something truly stupid.”

“You’re right, it’s none of my business,” she cooed, unfolding her arms to show her palms to you in a gesture of truce. “But next time you scurry off with a boy, make sure no one else sees you.”

Then, Yujin walked off, her head held high, as though she might as well have won a battle. You hated her, you realized in a flashing thought. The discussion had left your temples pulsating with a rage that persisted.

As the morning rolled by, it was becoming harder and harder to anchor yourself to the reason why you had volunteered to arrange Minnie’s wedding day.

You had even forgotten to reply to Seungkwan’s last text asking how work was going. In a brief moment of respite, you sat down on a stool pushed to the corner of the tiny kitchen at the venue.

[10:34 AM] you: it’s going peachy 🙂

You sighed and rested your head against the wall behind you, letting your eyes fall close. Flashes of the night before with Seungkwan made your tummy clench. Word as venomous as your sister’s could not make you regret his hands on you, how his touch made you feel.

Your phone vibrated on your lap, bringing you to lucidity in an instant.

[10:35 AM] kwannie: Why? Something happened?

[10:35 AM] kwannie: Do you need backup?

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as your fingers swiftly tapped on the keyboard.

[10:36 AM] you: it’s alright. the biggest demon I have to fight rn is hunger

[10:37 AM] kwannie: would you let me send you coffee over at least?

Your first instinct was to tell him no. You didn’t want to feel like you owed anyone anything, but at the same time, you needed to slap yourself. A guy who showed he cared through small doesn’t have to make you feel like you owed him.

[10:37] you: that would be great, Kwannie. Thank you ♡

[10:38 AM] kwannie: don’t mention it, baby

A wild clenching of your tummy left you breathless, commanding you to pause. A text message didn’t have to make you feel this way, but it did. It was as though his voice whispered those words into your ear, his honeyed tone pouring into your senses. It was enough to make you want to tell him to forget about the date tonight and come pick you up right at that moment.

You breathed deeply, thinking of what to text him back but coming back empty. Pocketing your phone, you tried to focus back on the very long pending things you had to tackle before the day was over, or rather before Seungkwan picked you up.

A notebook had been left on the corner of the long table where the bride and groom were going to sit. You had almost forgotten about where you had left your last task when you opened it, finding your scribbles, done in the haste of getting your sister’s wants and needs for her big day.

The list was long with requests and demands from your sister, some that you completed, some that changed at the last minute, or were cancelled.

☐ get a live band

☑ get a dj

☐ rehearsal NO REHEARSAL!!

☑ get the tux sent to jisung’s

☑ hire a nanny for yeri

☑ get an emergency kit

☑ get a photobooth

☐ payments – caterer and servers

☐ payments – dj

☐ arrange departure for honeymoon

☐ go over the full schedule with minnie again

The unchecked items were the ones you still had to do, and the last two were the most difficult ones, which you left for later. So you sit down and decide to send the remaining payments before tackling the last item on the long to-do list.

[11:01 AM] kwannie: go outside. Your delivery is there

You snorted, gliding your fingers on your phone screen.

[11:01 AM] you: right on it, boss 🫡

You hurried outside, being welcome by the cold air of the morning. As you stepped out of the venue, the delivery man approached you holding a paper bag and a hot coffee cup. You received it in your hands, smiling politely at the man before he walked away.

You held up the cup to your eyes, reading a handwritten message which said: Bribing you with coffee so you don’t quit yet.

I’ll come to rescue you later, baby. – sk

You exhaled, shaking your head as you took a sip of coffee.

[11:08 AM] you: thank you for the coffee, Kwannie 🧡

And he replied almost instantly.

[11:08 AM] kwannie:

The warmth barely reached through the morning chill, or the crushing need to walk out of the venue, but the message on the cup lingered in your mind longer than you’d like to admit.

The day moved in a blur after that.

Vendors arrived. Questions piled up. People kept pulling you in different directions—flowers, seating charts, last-minute adjustments. Time slipped through your fingers, swallowed by the ever-growing list of things demanding your attention.

You were about to gather your stuff, preparing for your date with Seungkwan when you realized that you probably were looking a little dead. So you headed to the bathroom to retouch your makeup and brush your hair to look more put together.

You came out of the bathroom, reaching the chair where you had left your purse and your coat. Pulling out your phone, you only got a glimpse of Seungkwan’s text message when your sister caught you off guard.

“You know that Yujin just says stuff like that because she worries about you, right?” Minnie’s voice tore through the silence in the spacious venue, her heels clacking after she started to stride towards you.

You turned around, sighing as you faced her. “Yujin does not care about anyone but herself,” you said, proud that you could say those words without wavering in fear.

“Why don’t you take a look in the mirror?” Minnie said, her words rising in a tone of annoyance. She clicked her tongue, grimacing at you. “If you hate doing this so much then why did you volunteer to do it?”

“What?” you deadpanned.

“If you hate us so much, then why did you come back?” she crossed her arms, breathing rapidly in what you thought might have been anger.

You rolled your eyes, dismissing her attempt at starting a discussion. “I don’t hate you,” you said flatly. “And I wanted to do this for you.”

“Well, I thank you, but I don’t like that you make it seem like it’s a burden,” she replied, keeping her tone sweet but you could see through her act.

You blinked, feeling almost appalled that the weight of her words almost made them sound like that was what she really believed. But you knew that she only wanted to spite you, so you just denied it. “I never said it was a burden.”

“But that’s how you act!” she shot back, her voice rising now. She threw her arms in the air. “You act like you’re doing me some huge favor, like you’d rather be anywhere else.”

You opened your mouth, then shut it. The rage boiling inside you was driving you to say things that were already at the tip of your tongue from the discussion hours ago. But whatever sanity holding onto you was somehow stronger: you would only hurt with your words. And the sooner this wedding happened, the sooner you would be able to go back home.

Minnie exhaled, shaking her head. “You didn’t have to come back, you know.”

“I know,” you admitted, your tone quieter in defeat. “But I wanted to.”

She searched your face, her eyebrow twitching up slightly. “Why?”

The real question sat in your mind, unspoken but heavy: After everything that happened, why now?

“You know, we’re pretty much settled in here,” she said, looking around and then fixating her gaze somewhere in the distance. “Mom and Dad are happy, Yujin is a mom now, and I’m starting a life while you went to the city to do… whatever it is you were doing.”

That just fueled your anger right back where it was. You let out a dry laugh, crossing your arms too. “Right. Because I was just off living some glamourous life while you and Yujin were playing house, are your lives more important because you’re starting families?”

She pulled her head back in astonishment, her brows furrowing. “That’s not what I meant.”

“No?” you pressed, breathing fitfully in pure rage. “Because that’s what it sounds like. Like I left and never looked back. Like I didn’t—” You cut yourself off, clenching your jaws to stop yourself.

“Didn’t what?” she pressed too, now stepping closer.

You swallowed your rage. Like I didn’t miss you, you ached to say. Like I didn’t wonder every night what life would look like if I had stayed here.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. At this point, it felt like it wouldn’t matter. You exhaled, looking away from her face. “Forget it.”

She scoffed exasperatedly, arms tightening around herself. “That’s the problem, though. You never say anything. You just show up, decide to take over my wedding, and act like that somehow makes up for everything.”

Your stomach twisted. “Is that really what you think? That I took over your wedding?”

She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she stared at you, searching for something in your expression. And whatever she found made her sigh, her shoulders sinking slightly.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I just don’t get why you’re really here.”

You clenched your fists at your sides, frustration bubbling over. “Why am I here? Seriously? I’m here because I’m trying, okay?”

She scoffed, shaking her head. “Trying to do what? Play the hero? Fix everything with one grand gesture? News flash—you can’t just waltz back in and act like nothing happened.”

Your chest tightened. “I know that!”

“Do you?” she snapped, her voice rising. “Because that’s exactly what it feels like! You left. And we had to deal with it. Without you.”

Your stomach twisted, but she wasn’t done.

“You missed a lot of things, you know that?” she continued, voice shaking now. “You weren’t here when Mom and Dad almost sold the house. You weren’t here when Yujin had her baby when she needed someone to drive her to the hospital. You weren’t here when I—” She exhaled harshly, turning her head to one side.

“When you what?” you demanded, stepping forward.

She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter now.”

“No, it does matter,” you shot back. “You’re so mad at me for leaving, but did you ever stop to think why I left?”

“Oh, please,” she scoffed, throwing up her hands. “You left because you wanted to. Because the city was more important. Because we weren’t enough for you.”

That hit like a slap. “That’s not fair.”

“Fair?” she gasped, laughing hollowly. “It is not fair that you’re showing up now and acting like everything’s fine just because you’re planning my wedding,” she countered. “You think this is some kind of an apology? That if you pull this off, we’ll all just forget you stopped talking to me?”

Your breath hitched in the realization that Minnie wasn’t aware that you were doing this because you felt bad about things you told her before leaving. You told her she’d never be happy if she married off to the first guy who showed her affection, even if he wasn’t totally clear with his intentions.

Anger flared again, charging you with feelings of desperation. “I’m doing this for you!” you bit out. “Because I thought it was the right thing to do!”

She let out another one of those humorless laughs. “Well, don’t do me any favors,” she snapped. “You know what, our lives are more important. We are starting families, something that you should learn how to value.”

Silence crashed down between you. Her words stung worse than a slap. The weight of everything said and unsaid pressing in from all around you. And before you could stop yourself, before you could even think—

“Maybe I should’ve just stayed gone,” you gritted.

The second the words left your mouth, you regretted them.

She inhaled sharply, her face hardening. “Maybe you should have.”

And just like that, she turned and walked away, leaving you standing there with nothing but the echo of your thoughts.

The second you stood completely alone at the wedding venue, your stomach dropped. Anger subsided, quickly being replaced by the fear of messing things up again. You were overcome by the urgent necessity of fixing everything back in place, to continue with the lie. You hadn’t just come back to mess things up again.

The damage was done.

A dilemma unfolded in your mind, heavy with the indignity of being underappreciated, the words spoken by your sisters drove a knife through your heart. You had done some damage with your words, yes, but theirs stung too.

On the other hand, you had come this far. You had done so many things to show Minnie that you were sorry for everything that happened so long ago, only to spread this mess further than ever before.

The incessant buzzing of your phone in your hand egged you to swim out of the cruel slew of thoughts going around in your mind. You turned around, snatching your coat from the chair on your way out, where you finally looked down at that screen to see Seungkwan’s name displayed on it.

“Hello?” you cleared your throat when your voice broke.

“Hey, I’m outside the venue,” Seungkwan’s sweet voice chirped, and as you came out, you saw him standing outside his father’s car. He was gently pacing back and forth, crestfallen, something inside you stirring when you noticed he was showing some nervousness.

“I know, I can see you,” you said softly, warmed by the fact that he was eager to see you.

Seungkwan lifted his head, pocketing his phone when his sweet gaze fell upon your frame. “Hi there,” he called. And as he approached you, the features of his face changed, noticing something in yours. “Are you okay?”

You had believed that you could hide your true emotions from your face, but you were no actress. And Seungkwan had a talent for reading people, it seemed like. So you crumbled, deciding to hug him tightly as his stride met you halfway through, wrapping your body in his arms in a second.

“What happened?” he cooed softly.

At that moment, you could not hold it to yourself any longer. A sob broke through you, his shoulder muffling the sound, but he caught it. “Talk to me, pretty,” he muttered, trying to break away from the tight embrace, but you held onto him so he wouldn’t get a chance to see your tears.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” he persisted, moving his hands so he could grab you by the shoulders and gently pull you away from the hug.

“Nothing. I’m just a crybaby,” you initially said, but then, looking up at his big brown eyes, seeing his worry made you change your mind.

Seungkwan paused, reading your face with his eyes a couple of times before he showed you a small smile. “I am a crybaby too, but I know when someone is making you cry.”

“My sisters said some mean shit to me,” you sniffled embarrassingly, so you covered your face with your hands, wiping your tears away.

The muscles of his jaw twitched slightly, sending his gaze heavenward, a bitter I knew it look crossed his features. “What did they say?” he asked, keeping his tone flat.

You stopped covering your face. “It’s not worth it, it really isn’t,” you said with a dispirited manner, dropping your hands on your sides with a sigh. “Let’s just go. I want to get out of here.”

“Let’s go,” he agreed, motioning to the car parked behind him.

Seungkwan opened the door for you and closed it when you sat in the passenger seat. Once he went around the car, you took a second to fully look at him and appreciate him. He was wearing something simple, but it did everything to glue your eyes to his lean frame. The shirt clung to his body as a gust of wind blew at him, ruffling his chocolate brown hair. The T-shirt was navy blue, snug under washed-out denim jeans, secured with a gray belt… and his stride made it impossible for you to not pay attention to his body.

You lowered your gaze in utter shame. You like this man, the thought settled in your head like a stone sinking slowly into a pond, rippling in all directions. And those ripples came with different thoughts, memories of the things your sisters told you.

Seungkwan closed the door, putting the key in the ignition while throwing you a quick look. “Hey,” he said softly before turning the key. “How about we do something else?”

You slowly turned to him. “Like what?” you asked, frowning a little. “I thought you had made a reservation at the restaurant.”

He shrugged slightly, while his eyes rolled upwards in a dismissive manner. “I could cancel,” he said.

For a moment it felt as though the roles were reversed, because you could see through his playful act. Maybe he wanted to do something else, so you didn’t have to sit in a public space while your face was tear-stained, and your mood was beaten to a pulp by your sisters.

“What are you suggesting?” you raised your eyebrows.

He licked his lips, shifting on his seat so he could turn the key and start the car. “I don’t know yet,” he sighed with a meek smile. “I’m improvising.”

The car started moving, the silence was unsettling, like somehow it was your fault that Seungkwan was silent. You fiddled your thumbs, twisting them around the fabric of your blouse. The thought of telling him to turn the wheel and continue with the plans he had made for the date, you opened your mouth.

But he beat you to it. “Do you like red wine?” he asked suddenly, his palm sliding down the wheel as he made a turn. He sent a look at you.

“Uh, yeah, I do,” you replied, gaping at him a little. You came to the realization that his silence was not out of some kind of contempt at you for changing the plans, he was in fact improvising.

“And pizza?” he arched his eyebrows, sending another quick glance at you.

“Of course,” you smiled at him.

“Good,” he nodded, biting his bottom lip as he continued to focus on the road ahead.

You stared at him for some minutes, noticing him deep in thought. “Do we have a plan, then?” you prodded, smoothing out the fabric of your blouse as you released a deep breath.

“I’m thinking of stopping ahead to buy a bottle of wine,” he lifted a finger, fist still grasping the wheel to point at the end of the street. “The apartment I’m renting for the time being is not far. We could order pizza.”

Your tummy fluttered in response. The idea of being alone with Seungkwan ignited something within you, it pulsated with excitement.

“Does that sound alright?” he asked when you failed to give him an answer, sending a curious glance at you.

“I couldn’t have come up with a better plan myself,” you replied, finding the muscles of your numb face to give him a smile.

“Then it’s settled,” he smiled sweetly at you, exchanging the grip on the wheel to use his now free hand to grab yours.

It was a simple thing, holding hands. The careful way his fingers slid under your palm to find the spaces between your fingers, sliding his own so that he could entwine your hands completely. His skin was soft and warm, brushing against yours as his thumb caressed the back of your hand. It might have been something simple, but it meant the world to you.

Smiling, you placed your other hand on top of his. “Are you going to show me the song you’ll sing tomorrow?”

“Mmn, yeah,” he pondered for a second. “How about after dinner?” he asked, and you saw a glint in his eyes that told you he had some underlying reasons for it.

“Sure,” you replied.

The car came to a stop, and you almost wished that the streets were longer so the ride could last forever, and have his hand holding yours through it. He released your hand to unclasp his seatbelt, jumping out of the car and going around it to get to your door.

“Thank you,” you mumbled shyly as you got out of the car, raising your eyes to search his.

Seungkwan motioned you to the wine store behind him, pushing the door open. “I don’t know much about wines, I just know that it could go along with pizza.”

He followed as you moved through the isles, keeping his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans. You ached to hold him again, but you bit your lip, concealing your thoughts away. “Well, we could guide ourselves with these,” you pointed with the cards displayed on each section of the isle, giving bits of information about the bottles of wine. You were moving down the isle, skimming through the cards. “I don’t really know about wine either. I just like the fruity ones.”

Seungkwan showed you a small smile, checking your facial features before saying: “Why does that not surprise me at all?”

“I’m a bit of a sweet tooth, what can I say?” you grinned at him, enjoying the amusement showing in his eyes.

There was a pause in his stride, it was small, but you noticed it. As though he wanted to tell you something but suddenly decided against it, making you want to ask what it was. But he just nodded his head at the wine rack behind you. “You choose,” he mumbled.

“Why me? I just told you I don’t know about wines!” you said playfully, trying to contain a smile.

“I order the pizza, you choose the wine,” he replied in kind, trying to control his facial features.

“No fair, ordering pizza is easy!” you complained cheekily, tearing a snicker out of him.

“No, it could be really hard!” he said, mimicking your tone and laughing at you when you nudged his shoulder.

“Fine, I choose,” you rolled your eyes, ignoring that you had attracted a few pairs of eyes from all over the store. You returned to a wine rack that had caught your attention briefly, reading through the information displayed on the card: sweet tones that could pair along with cheese, bread, and chicken.

You tentatively closed your fingers around the neck of one bottle, biting your lower lip as you skimmed through the card. The moment was short, but it stretched on as you felt Seungkwan’s frame behind you right before his hands slid on your waist. Even though his hands were over your blouse, you felt the warmth on his skin, and it didn’t fail to make your body come alive in all sorts of ways.

You breathed in, slowly but deeply. A short shudder ran down from your nape down your back when his breath fanned your shoulder, your neck. You turned slightly, only to find his eyes on the card, reading through it.

“I think this one should be okay,” you said, short of breath.

“Okay,” he hummed, leaning over to leave a kiss in your hair and grabbed the bottle from your hands.

Seungkwan turned to the queue line, and you followed him, feeling your heart beating fast due to the intimate but sorely very brief exchange, a thing that probably shone in your eyes. He smiled at you once you were both queuing together, and made a silent gesture at you. “What?” he mouthed, laughing slightly when you pouted.

“I want more of that,” you whined quietly.

His eyes turned into half-moons when he smiled adoringly at you. “More kisses?” he chuckled.

You nodded, sending a quick look around to make sure no one was witness to your display of affection.

“Later, baby,” he whispered, a cheeky look glimmering in his eyes.

You sighed out your discontent, trying to steal a kiss from him but to no end. You leaned to his mouth, but he just chuckled lightly, making you chase his lips.

“Later,” he emphasized, winking cheekily at you before moving up the queue to pay for the wine bottle.

Being around Seungkwan in an enclosed, all alone, was making you on edge. He looked at you endearingly as you entered the nice and cozy room he rented for his stay. “I just didn’t want to burden my parents, you know?” he sucked in breath as he brushed his hair back with one hand. “They have a lot in their hands already with my sisters, and their children,” he added with a little giggle.

The place was a studio apartment with the tiniest kitchen you had seen—if you could call it that. But it was comfortable, and you thought it was cute. The most important thing of all, was that it had a bed for two people.

“Besides, I’m a little picky with some stuff, so I thought that it was easier to just look for a space for the while,” he said, reaching for the door of the only kitchen cabinet in the place, extracting a pair of short glasses and placed them on the small table.

“Picky?” you asked, sitting down on one of the chairs.

“I just like cleanliness,” he smiled softly. “And it’s hard to achieve that with a house full of small children.”

You giggled. “I thought you liked children.”

“Oh, I absolutely do,” he nodded. “But like I said, picky,” he shrugged, palms turned to the ceiling.

You smiled, placing your elbow on the table while twirling your ponytail with your hand. “I think I’ll have to see it firsthand,” you said, and although you weren’t trying to be flirty, the way you twirled your hair made it hard for him to focus.

He stilled, his gaze outlining the shape of your lips, considering for a second to lean in and steal a kiss. But then his phone vibrated on the table, the screen lighting up to show that the food he had ordered was at the door. He stood up, giving you a quick look. “Food’s here,” he muttered as he stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

Dinner was accompanied by more small talk. It was pleasant to share a peaceful moment with him, especially after being tormented by your sisters. Seungkwan knew what you needed with so little information, even if he didn’t know exactly what had gone wrong in the morning, he knew you needed a brief respite from all of it.

And you were so thankful for it.

Seungkwan was pouring the last two cups of wine as you placed the recently washed plates on the dish rack. He kept sending glances at you, catching the soft smile on your face. “I take that you’re satisfied?” he asked. “Or should I order dessert?”

You reached for your glass of wine as you approached the table. “I’m good with wine,” you raised your class at him, sitting down on the chair and crossing a leg over, so close to him that the tip of your foot brushed against his calf. “And maybe a kiss.”

Seungkwan broke into a breathy giggle, clearly at a loss for words. He leaned back on the chair a little, running the tips of his fingers over the rim of his glass lazily. “Which one do you want first?” he asked, looking at your face intently.

“I’ll take what fuels me for the second option first,” you motioned your glass at him in cheers before sipping from it primly.

Seungkwan smirked, lowering his gaze briefly at the table. “Well, while you fuel up, maybe I could show you the song I’m singing at the reception?”

“I would like that very much,” you nodded, smiling at him.

“Alright,” he murmured, mostly to himself, before glancing up at you with a cheeky grin. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

He reached for his phone, his eyes searching for something on the screen until you knew he was looking for the track he was using for the wedding reception. A song started playing, and your stomach dropped, knowing the words that Seungkwan started singing at once.

This wasn’t the song he was singing tomorrow at your sister’s wedding. This was an entirely different song.

This song was for you.

You blinked in realization, fingers tightening around your glass as your eyes started to sting with hot tears.

His voice was rich and soothing, and each note was laced with something warm and intimate. It wasn’t just a sweet song, it was a kind of confession from Seungkwan to you. A message wrapped in melody, it was meant only for you.

Your breath hitched as he sang the next line, his voice dipping lower, almost like he was whispering it just to you.

You did a good job today, you worked so hard,

I hope my shoulders and my thick hands will become cozy comfort,

For the end of your tiring day as well, I want to naturally sync my breathing with yours.

The candlelight flickered between you, catching the soft curve of his smirk when he saw the way you tensed. He knew exactly what he was doing. Your heart hammered against your ribs.

The room felt smaller, the space between you charged with something you couldn’t name. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away from him, and he didn’t break eye contact either, much as if he meant for the words he sang at you to sink within you, to take them to heart.

The moment slowed down as the song came to an end, the sweet notes from the piano struck your heart, echoing alongside the last words from the lyrics: You are my prize. At the end, the silence only accentuated the sound of the soft rhythm of his breathing, the breeze ruffling the blinds of the small apartment and the noise of the busy road in the distance.

“That,” you croaked, but your voice came out weaker that you intended. You cleared your throat. “That isn’t the song for the reception.”

Seungkwan’s eyes lifted into what you could say was a smile, happily blinking at you as he leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table. “Nope,” he showed you a real smile now, resting his cheek on his knuckles.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Did you change it?”

“Mm-mn,” he blinked slowly at you, casually shrugging. “Maybe I did.”

A slow realization trickled in, spreading warmth from your chest outward. Your heart kicked against your ribs. “Why?”

His gaze flickered across your face, taking in every detail, your narrowed eyes, the tension in your shoulders, the way your fingers still clung to your glass. Then, he simply grinned. “Felt like it,” he said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Maybe someone in the crowd might need to hear it tomorrow.”

You giggled, telling on his clear lie. “Don’t lie, Seungkwan.”

“Alright, I didn’t change it,” he rolled his eyes playfully. “I’m still singing the one Jisung requested.”

“Then why did you sing this one?” you pressed, searching his face with your eyes.

Seungkwan sighed through his nose slowly, a calm expression landing on the features of his face. “I wanted you to hear it,” he said with a gentle tone. “I want to show you that you can trust me.”

Your heart squeezed tightly. “Thank you, Kwannie,” you said, your tone fragile.

His face, illuminated by candlelight, showed a tranquility that was only sustained by the sake of the moment. And now you knew that there was something that had affected him deeply from seeing you cry hours ago.

You wanted to push the memory away, you both did. You sat on the chair, one leg crossed over the other, leaning towards him where he sat. When you tried to push the memory away, you got caught up with the softness in the features of his face, the way his gaze flitted from your fingers toying with your cup to your face.

“Hey,” he said, lifting a hand to meet your knee over your stockings. He followed when you locked eyes with him. “You alright?” he asked softly.

The sound of his voice never failed to stir something deep within you; something that at that moment made you pause. You always were either too crushed by his beauty or too compelled by the sound of his voice, you noticed.

“Yeah, I’m—” you took in a deep breath, filling your senses with the taste of red wine. “You’re too sweet to me,” you said, smiling because he had lifted his hand from your knee mid-sentence, only to caress your cheek with a fondness that you wanted to melt into.

“Is that bad?” he asked, his hand cupping your cheek. He begun to stroke your cheek with the pad of his thumb, waiting for your answer.

You looked into those chocolate brown eyes, you wanted to get lost in them. For a split-second, those dreaded words echoed in your head, but you tried pushing them away.

“No, of course not,” you gave him an answer at last, finding yourself leaning instinctively into his hand, as if your heart had frozen until you felt his warm touch. “I like it, I’m afraid I’ve gone my whole life without this.”

Seungkwan raised his eyebrows with some confusion. “What, this?” he motioned to his hand on your cheek.

Affection. Something you may have thought you never deserved, something you had spent your whole life acting as if you were better off without, and maybe that was why you never received it. But in reality, you craved it, you craved anything, a touch, a caress, a hug.

And Seungkwan understood. He knew that was why you always backtracked after every sexual exchange you had with him, he understood you felt a kind of guilt that came after every passionate moment with him. It was a subject for a conversation that he needed to have with you before you and him dove into the more difficult aspects of a relationship, once you got there.

But right now, he just wanted to dote on you.

Seungkwan leaned over, keeping his hand on your cheek to land a kiss on your forehead. “How about that? Is that still sweet?” he whispered, a sigh coming out of him when you giggled lightly.

“Yeah, a bit,” you mumbled, circling his wrist with your fingers.

“And this?” he asked, pressing his lips on your cheekbone.

“Still sweet,” you replied, but you were cut short by a sudden kiss on your lips, making you gasp in his mouth quite embarrassingly. Seungkwan kissed you lightly at first, a grazing of his lips on yours before diving for a deeper kiss, one that demanded your full attention on him.

“That?” he asked, his tone had waned significantly lower.

“Mmn, I don’t know I’m going to need more to decide,” you mumbled sweetly, almost sultrily.

Seungkwan replied with a soft smile. “Alright,” he said, shifting the hold of his hand on you to cup your nape, his tongue touching your bottom lip and barely grazing the roof of your mouth before he closed his lips on yours.

You released a muffled sound into the kiss, it was embarrassingly high-pitched, and airy. But you were still unaware of the effect it had on Seungkwan. He replied with a sweet moan of his own, his hands searching for you, one finding the curve of your waist, the other your hip.

“Come here, baby,” he urged, breaking off the kiss just to motion you forward, and you moved towards him, understanding what he wanted.

It was when you straddled his thighs that you were reminded of how strong his body is. His hands secured you on top of him again, and the position allowed for him to touch you freely, which is what he had been wanting all day.

“This is definitely not sweet,” you decided, shuddering against his touch when his hands started roving all over your back.

“Uh-uh,” he agreed with a smirk, biting his bottom lip as he brought a hand to pinch your chin. “But you are,” he mumbled faintly.

You smiled, leaning your forehead to rest on his. “Now, I’m going to start thinking that you want something outta me with all that sweet talking, Mr. Boo,” you cooed with the sultriest tone you could muster despite your nervousness.

“Oh, but I mean it. You’re the sweetest girl I’ve ever met,” he insisted, tilting his head back so he could see your face, the corners of his lips curved slightly.

His words did the opposite to sway you, if that was what he intended. You felt something squeezing your heart, and maybe it showed in your eyes, because Seungkwan’s gaze softened in an instant. “Is that what happened, baby?” he muttered softly, and when you made a motion to ask what he meant, he quickly added: “At the venue, did they say something to you?”

If you hadn’t been caught up in a turmoil of emotions, you would’ve asked him how he knew you better than you knew yourself. With just one simple look, Seungkwan had nailed what troubled you.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” you whispered, taking in a shaky breath to contain the tears welling up in your eyes.

Seungkwan lifted a hand, cupping your cheek again as a tear fell down and was swiftly scooped by his thumb. “But will you talk about it eventually?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you said, trying to sound playful, to push the look of a frail girl beneath a mask.

But he was the actor, he could see beneath all masks. He read your face expertly once again. “You don’t have to tell me what happened. I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you want to talk, when you’re ready,” he mumbled gently, his puppy eyes glistening, and you understood that he was mirroring the expression that was contorting the features of your face.

“I know,” you whispered, overcome by your emotions all over again. “And I will, Kwannie, thank you.”

“Okay, good,” he mouthed, focusing on the features of your face. He raised his eyebrows slightly before asking, “Do you want me to give you a ride home?”

You understood it as him trying to make you feel comfortable, trying to give you safety instead of wanting to get rid of you. But your stomach tightened all the same, making you shake your head. “No, I want to stay a bit longer with you,” you replied, and then, thought of how you might sound: desperate. “If that’s alright w-with you, of course.”

“You can stay here all you want,” he mumbled faintly, looking up at you, his eyes shimmered as the rest of the features of his face broke in a shy smile. “You don’t have to go home, though?”

You thought about it for a long second. Tomorrow, you would have to be up early to get ready for the wedding, supervising that everything is going smoothly. Not only that, but you knew that your absence from your parents house would arouse some suspicion, something that you wanted to avoid.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble,” Seungkwan said, reading your expression expertly.

You were biting your bottom lip for a second, thinking of the consequences of staying with Seungkwan longer could bring. But god, you wanted to be with him. If there was an outlet for your rebellion, this was it. It was a protest saying, fuck you mom and dad.

“But if you do, I’ll back you up. If necessary,” he said, as though he could have an open window that let him into your mind.

For a second, you thought that you were dreaming. You stared into his puppy eyes, glimmering under the soft lights of the room, waiting patiently for your answer. He cared about what you wanted, he cared for your feelings first.

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, the feeling washing inside you making your eyes water slightly. “How are you so perfect?” your voice cracked slightly, making you try to hide your face on the crook of his neck.

“I’m not,” he whispered, his hands circling your waist slid up your back, caressing it fondly.

“Don’t lie. You’re literally a dream come true… and I don’t want to wake up,” you almost blurted, letting go of your thoughts before you could hold a rein over them.

Seconds went by, which in your state, felt longer than just the brief pause that it was. You backed away from him slightly, still sitting on his lap, his hands holding you steadily.

Seungkwan looked mesmerized for a second, his big, expressive eyes took the features of your face intently. “Well maybe we’re both caught in the same dream,” he shrugged slightly, the ease in his voice made his words fly naturally. “And I want to stay here, with you, as long as you want me.”

“Why?” you asked, the question making your stomach squeeze in nervousness, you waited for the possibility of hearing something you would not know how to react to. But you pressed on. “Why do you want me?”

There was another pause, this one felt shorter thanks to the anticipation pulsating hard inside you. As you watched his face, the way his eyes swam over yours, you knew that there was no escaping this, what you felt inside. Maybe it was too soon, but you knew it then—you were falling in love.

“I wished for this to happen,” he said, his voice reducing to a whisper too, and you knew that he shared the same feeling coiling inside you. “The moment I saw you again I knew that I never really forgot what I felt for you as a kid,” a small smile drew on his lips. “And for so long I wished to feel something like this for someone.”

You could sense that he didn’t mean that you were just a mere convenience, because you understood what he meant by this. Communicating what you felt with Seungkwan was easy, whether it was verbal or physical, it just flowed naturally.

He pondered again for a second, licking his lips as if unsure of his next words. “You don't think I share the same insecurity as you?” he asked, his gaze picking up every detail of your face. “I, too, feel the need to wall myself up at the prospect of opening up to someone. But when I’m with you I feel safe—I want you. And I want this.”

For a moment, you felt his words shake you to your core, resonating with every single one of them. It was true that you felt the need to protect yourself, hence why you backed up after every sexual encounter you had with him. When you were left alone with your thoughts, you thought that it was sooner rather than later that you’d get hurt, all for letting yourself be vulnerable with him.

But in that moment, you felt safe. You wanted to stay there forever with him, in your little bubble of quietness and ecstasy. You leaned over, pressing a soft kiss on his bottom lip, feeling the touch ignite your every nerve.

“I want you too,” you whispered shakily, letting your fears go.

Seungkwan had been waiting for this response, for your confirmation. You felt him relax under you, responding to your kiss slowly, a small moan bubbling in his mouth as his hands travelled up the line of your back until they stopped before reaching your shoulder blades. Instinctively, you pushed your chest on his, as you deepened the kiss, subtly telling him that you needed more of his touch, you needed to feel him everywhere.

And without saying a word, he understood what you needed with just one move. His hands slid down your back, finding the hem of your blouse to slip his hands beneath, touching your skin. You moaned instantly, arching your back to him and incidentally pushing your crotch you his, grinding on him.

Seungkwan broke away from your lips. “Honey,” he gasped, breathing hard.

“Sorry,” you giggled abashedly.

“No, don’t be,” he mumbled back, his smile was small but playful. “What do you want to do, baby?”

His brown hair felt soft between your fingers as you slipped your hand on his nape, while the other held him by the chin, caressing the line of his jaw enticingly. “I don’t know,” you mumbled sweetly against his skin. “You’ve been telling me over and over what you want to do to me but right now I…”

Your voice faded before you could properly speak out that you wanted him all to yourself, to feel him, to meet every inch of his skin.

“Mmn?” he hummed softly, as though the nickname you called him had more hold of him than his full name.

You had let your eyelids flutter close, being victim of a wave of emotions swarming inside you in a second, making it hard for you to focus. Seungkwan kept kissing your neck, his lips reaching your shoulder, having you tensing on his lap with a small gasp.

“Yes, baby?” he egged, and you noticed a slight twinge of amusement in his tone, like he knew the effect his lips had on you.

Sinking your teeth on your bottom lip, you had to choose your next words carefully. However, there was no other way to put your desires in a way that sounded neither prim, nor proper. Fuck it, you thought. “Could you be mean to me?” you asked in a low tone, feeling a hot wave wash over your face.

That made him snap from the controlled grip he had on you, his head moving back so his eyes could find your face, which he studied intently. “Mean?” he repeated, arching one perfect eyebrow.

Your resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Not at him, but at how ridiculous it felt to not find the words. Nothing felt right to you at that moment.

“I just want you to be a little rough with me tonight,” you blurted, before you could even process it. What was even more unexpected was that your words sounded steady, and sure.

Seungkwan coughed up a small chuckle, his eyes illuminating with what you knew was making way to a quippy retort. But as the seconds went by, you saw his gaze go soft, realizing that your request was very serious. “Wait, really?” he asked in a lower tone, like he was almost sorry that he was about to say something frivolous.

“Yes, really,” you nodded, quickly tucking your lower lip in your mouth, trying to mask the annoying tingling sensation on your cheeks.

“Where is this coming from?” he asked, and you could sense that it was mere curiosity that made him prompt the question, his tone carried no ill judgement. His eyebrows lifted slightly, but his eyes shone as they studied your face, curiosity growing into wonder.

You wanted to shrug, to dismiss it and go back to kissing him. But there was a strong feeling binding you both, like an unvoiced pact that bound you to him, making you unable to lie to him. “I feel like I need it,” you started, distracting yourself with his beautiful collarbones, gliding your fingertips from end to end. “I love that you’re sweet to me, but tonight I need you to be the opposite. Can you do that for me, Kwannie?”

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly as he appeared to be searching for words. As his hand left your waist to cup your chin, you gulped on air, knowing he would try and motion you for a kiss, which you did sloppily, meeting his wet lips with yours.

“Of course I can,” he reassured between gentle kisses, humming slightly as you reciprocated each one of them. “But I think we need to stablish some limits beforehand, is that alright with you?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, heart beating anxiously upon hearing his confirmation. Your fingers trembled as you slipped your palms over his shoulders. “You first.”

“I don’t think there are many limits on my end,” he said, backing away from your lips, exerting some self-control on himself. His gaze wandered from your face briefly, as though he were retrieving a lost thought. “You have to stop me if you don’t like something I’m doing, alright?”

You nodded silently. And you knew when his eyes met yours again that he was still a bit curious about your request, something about his gaze told you he wouldn’t let it go. “Just don’t call me bad names,” you said. “That’s my only limitation.”

“You got it,” he whispered, still dedicating one of those long looks at you, absorbing every aspect of your mannerisms. “Anything else?”

“Don’t touch my feet,” you said with a short giggle.

“Okay,” he smiled, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. “Can I ask why?”

“I’m ticklish,” you replied, leaning your head to one shoulder meekly.

“Alright,” he said, smiling at the new thing he just learned about you. His palm slid on your cheek, his fingertips reaching your scalp, making you shiver slightly. “Ready, honey?”

You leaned over, touching his lips with your own. “Yeah, I’m ready,” you whispered, pressing a featherlight kiss.

“Right,” he breathed aloofly, his hands returning to your waist, fingers slipping slightly under your pretty blouse. He kissed you deeper, hands dragging your body over to straddle him properly again.

You muffled a moan in his mouth when your crotch pressed down his growing erection, making your wet panties stick to your pussy. In a split second you forgot about your own request, grabbing him by the shoulders to press yourself against him harder, more urgently.

“Fuck, baby,” he muttered, his tone sweet but with a raspy edge in it. He leaned back on the chair, his gaze swimming all over your frame, looking at the way you rubbed your crotch on him.

Sticking your bottom lip in your mouth, you focused on finding the perfect angle that felt good to you just as it did to him. His hands on your waist shifted to your ass, pressing on it to guide the movement of your hips. He closed his eyes briefly, letting out the tiniest of groans through his clenched teeth.

You could feel his hard cock beneath his pants as you rubbed yourself on him, the thought of having him inside you eliciting a lewd sound out of you. Seungkwan lifted a hand from your ass, bringing it to cup your jaw gently. “You sound so good,” he whispered, a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

Deep in your need to reach your high, you couldn’t quite register what he said, so you just nodded. You were too focused on his hands on your body, the hand placed on your ass sliding up and beneath your blouse, all the way to the line of your bra.

You clumsily stopped grinding on him to let him get rid of your blouse, you lifted your hands, skin prickling at the bite of the cool air on your skin. You wasted no more time and continued grinding your pussy on his hard cock, letting out moans whenever you crotch pressed down on the big bulge beneath his pants, your clit rubbing against the seam of your jeans.

“You’re so pretty,” he said, his eyes outlining the curves of your body, appreciating the way your bra hugged your tits perfectly.

“Yeah?” You breathed aloofly.

Seungkwan smiled, noticing that you were trying to reach your high and totally not listening to him. You anchored your hands on his shoulders, moving your hips faster and moaning repeatedly.

“Gorgeous,” he emphasized with a smile.

Your face contorted in pleasure, your mouth parted as you blinked rapidly. Then you closed your mouth, grinding your teeth as you moaned loudly, reaching your high on top of him. You moved your hips in short and quick motions, getting more pleasure from the feeling of his hard cock underneath his jeans, the look on his face.

“That’s it, baby,” he cooed, guiding you through it. “Feels good?” he muttered, enjoying the look on your face as you emboldened yourself to reach your climax on him.

“Yeah, yeah,” you nodded. “So good.”

You slowly stopped the motion of your hips, breathing hard and showing him an embarrassed smile. Your orgasm had been quick, but it left your skin tingling, and your whole body aching for more.

The features of Seungkwan’s face relaxed into an unreadable expression. Then you saw it, the way he slowly stepped into the role in which you needed him at that moment, the calm and controlled way he directed a look at you, right before saying: “Get on the bed, honey.”

A cold shiver ran down your spine. Entranced, you were almost curious to know how he could get into it so quickly, but then you knew that you had to follow suit in order to get what you wanted. What snapped you out of your train of thoughts was Seungkwan’s hand, slapping your thigh playfully while he bit his bottom lip.

You swiftly stole a kiss before standing up from his lap, taking three steps to reach the foot of the bed where you sat down, primly putting your hands on your lap. Seungkwan stood in front of you, making you tilt your head back to meet his gaze at the same time he brought a hand to cup your chin.

Seungkwan was calculating in his head, while you sat there looking all pretty and expectant at him. “Should I take things slowly with you?” he wondered aloud. “Or should I just give you what you want?”

Your eyelids fluttered at his touch. “Do anything you like,” you replied, your tone pouring out of you like honey, slow, sweet, sultry. You raised a hand, grabbing his from your chin to kiss the back of his pretty fingers. “I just want you.”

He showed you a smirk, one that only fueled the molten feeling sitting at the pit of your tummy. “I think that you should earn it, baby,” he crooned.

You replied with a slow smile, your heart jolting in your chest at how much you wanted him, at how quickly you got into it as well.

“Are you going to be good?” he asked, biting his bottom lip when you nodded eagerly.

“Yeah,” you mumbled airily. “I will, Kwannie,” you pinched the fabric of his navy blue t-shirt, standing up as you pushed his t-shirt up his torso, his milky white skin contrasting with his t-shirt beautifully.

The sigh that escaped your lips made him smile. It was the first time you had the pleasure of undressing him wholly, and you weren’t about to waste a second of it. He fixed his chocolate brown hair his fingers, looking at you excitedly as you tossed the t-shirt behind you.

Your heart was beating a mile per second. You sent a quick look at him, batting your eyelashes at him as you ran your palm on his chest, then down to his tummy, feeling the gentle definition of his abdomen muscle. “I like you,” you mumbled sweetly.

Seungkwan said nothing at first, his half-lidded eyes followed your movements, he carefully captured the way you smiled at him sheepishly, the way your fingertips trickled down to undo his belt. “How much?” he asked, his tone waning a little, sounding raspy.

Your breath hitched, your eyelids fluttering at the metallic sound of the buckle of his belt. “So much,” you breathed, undoing the button of his jeans.

Seungkwan blinked, and you saw in his eyes that he wanted to smile, but kept the rest of the features of his face controlled.

You pulled his washed up jeans down, sitting on the bed as he stepped out of his pants. Your fingers traced long lines from his knee up his hips, appreciating the strong plush of his thighs. You raised your eyes to his again, adoring the look of his body in front of you.

Biting your bottom lip, you ran your fingertips on his crotch, tracing them over the outline of his hard cock. You raised your eyes to his face, looking straight to his eyes as your fingers pulled his boxers down until you had to look down. You slowly revealed him, the soft hairs trailing from his belly button then down, and further down.

Something twisted inside you when you revealed his hard cock, springing free from his boxers as you helped Seungkwan step out of them. With a pleased sigh, you eyed his naked body up and down, right before reaching to grab his cock with one hand.

Seungkwan’s mouth parted when you kissed the bulbous head of his cock, primly pressing your lips on his slit, wetting your lips with his precum. His hand came to grab your cheek, slipping past it and holding your nape firmly, letting out a groan. You pulled out your tongue sliding it around his tip, getting a rush of satisfaction when you saw him moan.

“Open up, honey,” he mumbled, a hint of urgency coating his words.

You parted your lips for him, pushing your mouth forward for his cock, a wet smacking sound coming out of your lips when you pulled back, coating his shaft with your spit.

His breath hitched visibly, his hand tensing on your nape. “Hold still, baby,” he said, making you slide your hands on his thighs, holding onto them. Seungkwan grabbed his cock with one hand, his other coiling once around your ponytail before slipping his cock inside your mouth, further than before.

Your eyes rolled back, falling on the softened features of his face as he pushed his hips forward, then a few inches back. His cock was so big that he couldn’t get it to fit inside your mouth wholly, still grabbing it by the hilt to measure himself.

But you could see it in his face, the temptation to just start rutting his hips against your face, to drive his cock to your throat—things that you ached for him to do. You pressed your thighs together, moaning softly through your nose as your entrance clenched around nothing, wetting your panties even more than before.

“Relax your mouth,” his command was firm, but his tone was gentle at the same time. “That’s it, good girl,” he praised as you followed suit, relaxing your tongue, leaving the muscles of your mouth open for him. “God,” he gritted, tilting his head back a little.

Seungkwan removed his hand from the base of his cock, placing it on the back of your head to angle you for his cock.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he grunted, closing his eyes briefly as he pushed his cock to your throat, making you gag a little. “Breathe out for me, baby. I’m only halfway in.”

You tilted your head back slightly, just as the tip of his cock pushed down the tight muscles of your throat. Seungkwan smiled at the sound of your gagging, you breathed out, he pushed in, fucking your throat with small thrusts.

Drool started trickling down from the corners of your lips, but you kept yourself still, relaxed for him. Seungkwan let out a raw moan, picking up the pacing of his thrusts. “I’m close,” he gasped, looking down at your face.

You let out a strangled sound, tears forming up in the corners of your eyes began to trail down your cheeks.

Seungkwan loved the sight of that, it showed on his face, the glinting of his eyes. “Do you want my cum in your mouth?” he asked tauntingly, but when you blinked slowly at him in confirmation, he sunk his teeth on his bottom lip, biting a smile. “Cumming.”

But then he pulled back his cock from your mouth, ropes of cum spilling from the slit poured down your tongue, spilling on your lips as you coughed a little from the sudden change. You rose your hands to your chin, where his cum was trailing down from your lips.

Seungkwan was faster than you, bending down to pick the cum from your face by running his tongue on your skin, using his hand on your ponytail to yank your head back harshly, your mouth falling open with half a groan.

Then he spit his cum back onto your mouth. “Now swallow it,” he commanded with a dark tone, then kissed your bottom lip, pulling back with a grin on his face. You swallowed obediently, feeling your entrance fluttering again, arousal tickling in between your folds.

“You were so good for me, baby,” he crooned, kissing the corner of your mouth once before releasing your ponytail.

“Kwannie–,” you mumbled, clearing your throat.

“I know, I know,” he grinned. “Gotta return the favor,” he motioned to the bed with the tip of his nose. “Lay back for me.”

You slowly eased your body on the mattress, leaving your legs hanging on the foot of the bed. Seungkwan was quick, hooking his fingers on the band of your lace thong and tugging it down your legs. You lifted your feet in the air, following his long hands as he finished undressing you completely.

Seungkwan discarded your ruined panties aside, looking back at you with a tiny smile on his face. “You soaked through your panties, baby,” he said, almost with a proud look on his face. Then he placed one hand beside your shoulder, then the other, bending down to give you a swift kiss on your lips.

“I need you, Kwannie,” you replied, feeling so meek and tiny under the unbearable need to be fucked by him that you had to giggle at yourself.

“Yeah?” he breathed, searching your face with his eyes. Then he lifted one hand from the mattress, and you could barely follow it until you lost it between your thighs, you swallowed hard, then sighed when you felt the pads of his fingers slide down on your mound, tracing the line between your pussy lips.

“Yeah,” you swallowed hard, eyebrows knitting when his fingers found your entrance, then sank inside you slowly, very slowly.

Seungkwan let out an airy chuckle. “You’re so cute,” he said, pressing a light kiss on the corner of your mouth, then on your lips. “I want to make a mess of you.”

“Please,” you breathed. “Please do, Kwannie,” you begged, barely stringing out the words together. “Use me.”

“But I want to eat you out—” he pulled his fingers back in your cunt, the knuckles of his fingers massaging your walls, making you swallow a moan. “—before I fill you up with my cum.”

“God,” you gritted. “Yes, please, please, Kwannie.”

Seungkwan pulled out his fingers completely, lifting them to your face. “Look,” he whispered, showing you the mess that coated his fingers. “Clean them up,” he said, bringing your fingers to your lips.

You opened your mouth, cleaning up the mess from his long and lithe fingers, creating smacking sounds with your lips and tongue as he retreated his fingers from your mouth. He wasted no more time, sinking down on your body and leaving a trail of kisses behind, kissing your neck, your collarbones, down your chest.

“Kwannie,” you breathed sweetly, grabbing a fistful of brown hair as he took one of your nipples in his mouth, running his tongue around your areola with a pleased moan. Your back tensed up when he grazed your nipple with his teeth ever so softly.

“Stay still,” he muttered, his lips lingering on your skin. “Or I won’t give you what you want.”

“Sorry, sorry,” you mumbled dumbly. “I’ll stay still.”

Seungkwan smiled against your skin, pressing slow kisses on your tits, licking and pinching your nipples to test what ticked you off, what made you moan louder, or grip his hair tighter. Discovering that you were sensitive to whatever he did, he decided to graze his teeth on your nipple, laughing lightly when you moaned lewdly.

But he moved on too quickly, leaving you panting and wanting for more. Seungkwan kissed your tummy, inching down to your mound, where he kissed you pressing his lips lovingly on your skin.

You grounded the soles of your feet on the bed, right as he lick a fat stripe between your pussy lips, directing a long look at your eyes. You arched your back, mouth parting as you cried out loudly.

The corner of his lips rose slightly, keeping his tongue out to run if between your folds, exploring them as you writhed and kept moaning pathetically. Having his tongue teasing your clit was so arousing, so alluring that the thought alone made your blood sizzle beneath your skin. The feeling was too familiar, like toying over the edge of your sweet high.

But you didn’t want to cum so soon, you wanted to relish the feeling of him pleasuring your pussy for much longer, you wanted to keep toying with the edge. “Kwannie,” you breathed, pushing his hair back with your fingers.

But he groaned, burying his mouth on your pussy, his hands grabbing your thighs firmly to keep you in place for him. Then he sent a look. It was as though he had said, “Don’t resist this.” But you were dancing too close to the edge, and the fall seemed so thrilling that it scared you.

“I’m gonna cum,” you mewled, your hand flying to grab at the comforter. “Fuck, Kwannie, fuck, fuuuuck,” you cried out, a long and brutally hard orgasm washing over you as his tongue teased your clit relentlessly.

You held in a breath as pleasure unfolded inside you, tearing through you so hard that you saw stars as you closed your eyes. You arched your back, freezing in place as you let pleasure consume you, you let Seungkwan lick and tease your clit until you ended up a mess on the bed.

“Mmmn,” Seungkwan hummed, pleased to see you languid in pure pleasure, your body easing back down on the comforter. He kissed your mound again, then started suckling on the skin of your thighs, so harshly until his lovebites brought a gasp out of you.

He crawled back on top of you, just as you were trying to sit back up, so your bodies met halfway. You grabbed his face, pressing your lips to his mouth, then his chin covered in your arousal and his spit, you tasted yourself in his tongue, moaning into the kiss.

His hand sneaked on your nape again, blindly finding the scrunchie securing your ponytail and pulled it with one motion, releasing your hair with a hum. “Turn over for me, baby. Hands and knees.”

Your insides twisted in excitement. You didn’t reply verbally, but obeyed with a tiny smile painting your face. He was fully hard again, the tip of his cock flushed in a pinkish red, leaking with precum.

Seungkwan pulled back as you turned over on the bed, getting on all fours for him. His hands grabbed you by the hips, tugging you to angle your ass to him. You bit your bottom lip, following the gentle caress of his hand on your ass right before he delivered a harsh spank on your side.

A strangled sound came out of you, but you kept yourself still for him. “Such a pretty ass,” he sighed in praise before delivering another firm spank, looking at the long line of your back, your pretty ass angled for him.

“Kwannie, please,” you begged, embarrassment rushing to your cheeks, heating your skin up when you heard the sound of your own voice, high in pure arousal.

You heard a light laugh coming from him, then the tip of his cock nudged at your entrance, gliding up and down your folds to tease you a little, right before he sank inside you in one go. The way his cock stretched your walls made you cry out instantly, the angle he had you for him made it so that he could get in deep—deeper than you had felt him before.

“Fuck-k,” you gritted, squeezing your eyes shut to try and hold yourself up for him.

But he started plowing on you, the way his hips snapped against your ass quickly left you breathless. It was exactly what you needed, his cock filling you up, his hips slapping against your ass, hipbone slamming against your skin, you knew it would leave bruises. He was fucking you hard, and it felt so good.

“Kwannie,” you mewled.

“Sshhh,” he ran a hand over the line of your back, his lithe fingers slipping on your nape, firmly coiling around your hair to hold your head back. Your neck stretched back, the position made it harder for you to utter a sound, so you were now left at the mercy of his brutal thrusts. You wondered what it’d look like—Seungkwan fucking you hard, grabbing you to keep you in place.

In reality he was losing his mind. Your body was wholly his, he ran his free hand on your lower back, enjoying the recoil of your ass every time his hips met with your body. “Fuck, honey, I’m gonna cum,” he gritted, loving the way you wrapped around him. He loved feeling your walls flutter around him every time he spanked you, or yanked your hair harshly.

“God,” Seungkwan sighed, giving into the sweet rapture with a raw moan, pushing his cock deep inside you, cumming like so hard he knew he could go for another round, maybe keep fucking you until dawn.

He pulled out again, releasing the grip on your hair to let your neck rest. You swallowed hard, feeling his hands spread your cheeks heedlessly, and you knew why. His cum spilled out of you, warm and sticky as it trickled down your skin.

“Seungkwan!” you cried, feeling your pussy clenching around nothing as his fingers picked up the cum trickling down, only to push it back inside you.

“Honey,” he crooned. “You’re making such a mess.”

“I’m not making it, you are,” you babbled, trying to feign confidence, trying to be bratty enough to retaliate.

But he saw through you. “And I’m only going to make it worse,” he said, patting your ass gently. “Turn over for me, baby.”

You turned over, parting your thighs for him. He hooked one of your legs up his shoulder, his eyes coasting all over your bare body, a light smirk appearing on his face right before he grabbed his cock, guiding it to your messy cunt and sheathing himself in one go.

You groaned and hummed as you tucked your bottom lip inside your mouth, loving the way his cock stuffed you full, the way it massaged your walls with each thrusting of his hips.

He was on his knees, moving his hips back and forth, his eyes on your cunt as he pulled his cock back and slipped it right in. A creamy white ring formed around the base of his cock, your arousal and his cum coating all of his thick shaft, the sight making him let out another raw moan.

Then he looked at your face, completely riddled in pleasure and smiled. “You can’t even speak, how cute,” he said, keeping a hand around your thigh, the other on your lower tummy.

“Kwannie,” you moaned.

“Yes?”

You breathed through your nose, barely able to open your eyes. “I want to cum… please,” you begged, wanting to feel that release again. You were so deep in pleasure that it was becoming hard to think.

“Make yourself cum,” he replied, his tone raw in a mixture of pleasure and tiredness. But he kept rutting his hips back and forth, his cock fucking back his cum back inside you, the sight of it pushing him closer to the edge.

Your hand trailed down your lower tummy, your fingertips finding your clit, swollen, and covered in your arousal and his cum, slippery as you swirled your fingertips on it. You moaned, arching your back as you toyed with your clit, as Seungkwan massaged your walls with his cock.

“Fuck,” he sighed, a cold shudder running down his spine as you quickly succumbed to another orgasm, your mouth falling open, your moans filling the room again. “Fuck, honey,” he whispered, the look on your face tipping him over the edge.

He gave you a few sloppy thrusts, trying to keep his pace steady for you as he fucked his third load deep inside you with a raunchy moan. He languidly eased your leg down, leaning over so he could press his chest on yours to kiss your lips.

You hummed into the kiss, encircling his shoulders with your arms. “Hey,” you sighed.

“You’re okay?” he asked, his tone low as he showered your face with kisses.

“I’m okay,” you replied. “I want to clean up.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he breathed.

Seungkwan lend you a clean oversized t-shirt and a gave spare toothbrush he had bought with his own. You took turns in the shower, since it was too tiny to do anything together, even though you wanted to hold him under the stream of warm water.

But as you lay down beside him, underneath the covers, a thought crossed your mind. You could probably get used to this. To being this close to him, this intimate. You turned your head on the pillow, your tummy clenching when you noticed that his gaze was on you, observing every detail about you.

“I like you,” he whispered.

You wanted to reply with a smile, or a playful comment, but his words—even if you had said them to him earlier—had robbed you of air. You liked him so much that your heart twisted painfully, a fluttering feeling invading your tummy.

“Seungkwan, I…” you gulped, licking your lips anxiously. “I have to tell you something.”

He slowly raised his eyebrows. “About what?”

“About what happened earlier at the venue,” you said, avoiding his eyes.

“Hey,” Seungkwan said, his voice raspy. Propping one elbow on the pillow to rest the side of his head on his fist, he called for your gaze to him. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“But I want to,” you decided, taking a deep breath as you rolled over beneath the sheets, hugging your chest as you lay on your back. “My sisters,” you hesitated, trying to find the right words, “they think they have something on me because they have settled down with a partner. They have well-established jobs and careers—one of them has a child—and I don’t have any of those things.”

You squeezed your arms tighter around yourself. “After being so outstanding as a kid, being the bright one, they think it’s a gotcha that I don’t have anything going for me,” you breathed fitfully, raising your eyes upward to ease the stinging. “They said things to me today that hurt, but now I realize that I may have played into their game.”

A long silence followed, and you didn’t dare to meet his eye after dropping what felt like a bomb to you. But you ached to know what his reaction would be, his sad but understanding gaze, the calmness that you found when you finally lifted your eyes to find him. It was all contained anger, you knew it. You were learning to read him as well as he read you.

“Do you want my opinion on this?” he asked, his voice had fallen on a tone that you didn’t know he could vocalize, it was darkened in seriousness. As though you just had woken up something deep within him. He was angry, you realized.

“Of course,” you said.

“First, I think that what hurts you, hurts you, it’s a very valid response. They said things with the intention of hurting you, and in my point of view, that is coming from people who are not content with themselves,” he said, keeping that stillness in his tone that was dangerous.

“I think so too, but,” you stammered, looking down at your hands resting on your tummy. “They know what it means to me,” you whispered.

“Exactly,” he replied, and his tone shifted to a tender one, making your gaze travel to meet his eyes. The hardened seriousness in his demeanour had slipped into the background, leaving the soft version of him you were beginning to adore. “But it shows how unhappy they are by using those things against you.”

You let out a dry chuckle, deciding to turn on your side, mirroring Seungkwan’s position. “I think it’s silly,” you said, averting your gaze from him and pointing it at the seams of the bedcovers, which you had started to trace with a fingernail.

“What is?” he asked softly, making you want to look at him again. “Do you want to have those things for you?”

“Maybe,” you shrugged, sighing. “Yeah, I do.”

“There’s nothing silly about it, honey,” he replied at once. “It’s completely normal. That you haven’t gotten there is inconsequential, because you’ll achieve those things one day, at your own pace.”

Your face slowly morphed into a pout, raising your gaze to meet Seungkwan’s. “Why are you so sweet to me?”

He giggled, slipping his other hand on your waist. “It’s you. You make me like this,” he said, his smile making his nose wrinkle.

You giggled with him, leaning closer to his body so you almost touched chests with him. Holding his jaw with ginger fingers, you dared to look back at his eyes, feeling something tugging at your heart. “You have always been sweet, Kwannie. Even when we were kids.”

“I don’t know, I think I lost that side of myself, or rather, haven’t seen it for a while,” he raised the tip of his finger to your nose. “You have brought it back to life.”

“Really?” you asked, your tone dropping to a tiny one.

“Yes, really,” he replied, showing you a warm smile. “You have awakened things in my that I thought gone, or even non-existent.”

“Oh, yeah, like what?” you ventured.

“I didn’t think myself a romantic,” he replied almost at once, making you think that he had thought of this way before you even posed the question. “And even though I wanted this, I thought that I wouldn’t find someone I could share moments like this,” he said, and you could tell that he was nervous as he spoke, his tone quivered, and his gaze shifted from side to side.

“That’s crazy,” you admitted with a chuckle. “I think you’re very romantic. And deserving of love and affection.”

His gaze trailed back to your face. “Just like yourself,” he whispered, a tiny, but triumphant smirk drawing on his face.

Your breath hitched slightly. “Yeah, maybe I am,” you replied slowly.

Seungkwan was content with you admittance, his smile told you that much. His hand slipped from your cheek to the back of your head, where he threaded your hair with his nimble fingers. “How are you?” he mumbled, his gaze travelling from your lips to your eyes.

You swallowed thickly, the proximity of your face to his was making you nervous, your heart fluttering erratically. “I’m okay, Kwannie,” you whispered, trying to show him a sweet smile. “I’m feeling better now. Thank you.”

“Mmn,” he hummed, dipping his head to meet your lips in a slow kiss. “I’m here for you, always.”

A sad smile appeared on your face. “What happens next?” you asked, holding his gaze intently. “When this is all over you’ll go back home.”

He nodded silently. “And you’ll go back to yours,” he said, figuring out where the conversation was headed. He inhaled through his parted lips. “I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it yet,” he mumbled, his big expressive eyes showed a glint of sadness. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to continue with this,” you said decidedly. “I want to get to know you more,” you added with a small smile.

“Mm, yeah,” he hummed sweetly, smiling with you. “I want that too. I know we live in different cities, but we could manage,” Seungkwan said, sifting his fingers through your hair, slowly egging you to a slumber.

“Yeah, we could,” you whispered, feeling your limbs relax and turn into jelly under the gentle caress of his fingers. Seungkwan didn’t stop at your hair, trailing down to your bare shoulder, where he let his fingertips dance slowly.

“I could visit you every weekend until you get sick of me,” he whispered, his voice breaking into a chuckle when you smiled.

“Or until I don't want you to leave,” you whispered, your tone mellow from the warm feeling that swept over you.

“Mmn, that’s dangerous, don’t say that,” he mumbled, his tone again made raspy as he captured your lips with a wet kiss.

“Mmn, why?” you hummed in between kisses, each creating a small wet noise.

“Cause you won’t be able to get rid of me,” he whispered, grabbing your face with gentle fingers, to dip his lips in yours, kissing you fervently.

“Oh my, that sounds tempting,” you said, earning a light chuckle from him.

“Mmn, but not as tempting as sleeping?” he asked playfully, giving you another hot kiss on your lips. “It’s getting late, and you need to be up really early tomorrow morning.”

“If you keep kissing me like that we might end up seeing the sun rise,” you replied, feeling your own heart skip when his hands slid from your face to grab your neck gently.

Seungkwan pressed his lips against your bottom lip, “Seeing the sun rise with you is something I definitely want,” he breathed, his face inching away from yours so he could look in your eyes. “But maybe another night, baby. Tonight I just want to sleep next to you.”

You gave him a light smile, dazed from his kisses. “Sounds good to me,” you mumbled, heart beating faster upon hearing your own voice, sweetened by the love you felt, it came out almost like a purr.

Seungkwan noticed, his eyes glinting slightly as he studied your face. His gaze made you feel even more flustered, so you moved on the bed, inching even closer to his body. You heard him smile when you placed your head on his chest, face nuzzling against his neck as his arms cradled you, pressing your bare body to his.

You could get used to this, you wanted to.

“Goodnight, honey,” he mumbled, kissing your hair.

You closed your eyes, relishing the moment. “Sleep well, Kwannie,” you replied, drifting off to sleep.

✾ author's note: these guys fuck a lot. heh

this is like, one of the fics i feel the most proud of, but at the same time i forget how to write because seungkwan is a sexy mf. haha

i love every single person who waited for this and reminded me constantly to update this fic. you guys kept it alive, you horny boosadans 🥹🩵 i love you all, kissing your foreheads fondly

i will try to keep this fic updated hehe. in the meantime, i'm doing an event in celebration of my birthday and 2k followers milestone, so be sure to check it out!

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