*Warning*

Do NOT give this person more than one cup of coffee. (Her tummy can't handle it)

[hi-im-kaybee]

jerma: listen... i just really like strawberries and bananas! (suppressed giggle) it's not- it's not weird to like fruit. to enjoy a yummy strawberry on a summer's day! (looks at chat) "strawberries are weird and gross". what?! huh?!? listen to yourself!! what are you even saying?!?

the game he's playing: [grinding corpses to viscera in an abandoned hospital]

[pisces-comet]

northernlion: Do. Do you ever think about those half-time events where they give away free tuition to whichever college student could sink a basketball into the hoop? How fucked up would it be if you were the person who didn't sink in a basketball and your only thought while an entire stadium is applauding your classmate is "If I'd only sunk one more ball in I wouldn't have had crippling debt"? They got college students out here in the damn hunger games and what? (reads chat) "...hey NL it's just for fun you know what fun is right". you're morally bankrupt. and you will never see the light of heaven. motherfucker. (shouting) AT LEAST IF THEY WERE KILLING EACH OTHER FOR SPORT WE COULD BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON THERE!!! (adjust headphones) Anyway...

the game he's playing: [pastel emoji matching game]

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]

[machine-saint]

we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

[madnessofmen]

wait it gets better

[randomsufff]

I can’t believe Nicepants cannon in the year of our lord 2025

(Yes it is supposed to be cut off at the bottom because bros in such disbelief that he just goes in a loop for an hour)

[nonaferatu]

people hate it when i say "black people getting cancer is racist" but im literally fucking right because systemic racism has led to chemical dumping being acceptable in black/brown neighborhoods and black people have higher rates of cancer as a result

[dumgumgum]

she was my sister too

[dailycatsblog]

[lovebythemoonxo]

Me today

[dailycatsblog]

[unclefather]

[psych-is-the-name]

[shinekocreator]

Okay, this is actually funny

[fnordseer5]

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

[10alex01]

Powerpuff Girls fan art.

[memeuplift]

[my-dailydreams]

[thememedaddy]

[dailycatsblog]

[capacity2]

a question for you

Lay it on me mister fuckinyouhard0989

[capacity2]

He’s so shy he died