Your Crocs are on backwards, Jenkins.
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Jules of Nature

ellievsbear
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Sweet Seals For You, Always
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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Sade Olutola
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@kristynibbles
Your Crocs are on backwards, Jenkins.
Instead of checking myself into a mental facility, I checked myself into a nice hotel for the day.
It’s no secret that being a woman in today’s society can be a daunting task, but you add being perimenopausal, the full moon, a sick spouse, a general malcontent feeling of existential dread, watching the world burn, a weird ass pimple, bills without the funds in the account to cover them, a co-owner of a business, an overheated touch-me-not that loves to cuddle but hates to be touched, insomniac until midday, dog mom of an anxiety ridden mutt that won’t let you pet him but demands to crawl on your chest at 4 am and you have a breakdown soup on the stove about to boil over. Okay, I’m not necessarily describing your life, but I’m describing parts of it, aren’t I?
Hi. I’m Kristy, a 43-year-old woman that’s just starting to figure how this life thing works. I thought by now I would have it all figured out. I come from the generation of suck it up and walk it off, put a little dirt on it, I’ll give you something to cry about. (Or maybe that’s a daddy issue thing that we’ll discuss and digest another time.) So, it’s no wonder at the current moment of life going nuts I walk into my boss’ office in tears because I haven’t slept more than 2 hours a night in a couple of weeks, confess I’ve considered running away, and just want to give it all up and this saint of a woman says, “go book a hotel room and sleep”.
Wait a minute, I can do that? I can take the day off work, drive to the nearest hotel, tell them I want a room and go to SLEEP? Yes, the answer is yes, I can do that and so can you.
Now before you let the inner critic start with “I don’t have the extra money, my partner will be angry/hurt, what about this thing and that thing, blah and blah oh and blah?’ Stop. Let’s think about the hilarity of all of that being what’s on your mind when you’re on the precipice of a mental breakdown. You’re a caregiver, a damn good one too, so good in fact that in the middle of all of this, you’re thinking about others and neglecting the one person that does the caretaking: YOU!
I dragged my tired, mascara-streaked sad face to this beautiful hotel and quietly said to the receptionist “I need a room. Not all night, but like 10 solid hours. Wait, I’m not meeting anyone for an elicit affair, why did I say that? Ugh, **sniff** I just need a quiet, dark room so I can sleep.” After the awkwardness of my request sunk in, I was warmly greeted with a knowing smile from the 50 something lady looking back at me. She gave me an excellent rate, let me check in at 10 am instead of 4pm, and gave me a voucher for a free coffee. If I could have mustered more than a teary thank you, I would have. Another woman who gets it.
I walked in, pulled the cover back for that precursor bug check, turned on the fan, took my shoes off, put on a t-shirt from my gym bag, tucked myself into the fluffy sheets and pillows of a king-sized bed and slept like the dead. A bomb could have gone off and I wouldn’t have had a clue. I woke up 7 hours later not knowing who I was, where I was, what day it was, and a wet spot on the pillowcase from drool. Surrendering to the process of allowing my mind and body to fully relax was blissful.
So, reader, I’m inviting you along on a journey with me. Find out how a 43-year-old woman made it to the point of checking into a hotel in the middle of the morning on a random Tuesday and what happens next. Go along with me on this journey of unapologetic selfcare, radical acceptance, forgiveness, guilt-free allowing of the good things that already reside within. You are welcome here. You are safe here. You are allowed to be here.
Here’s to filling our cups first.
Xoxo
Kristy
So this is 41. I’m ok with it. I’m aging as gracefully as one person can given the amount of emotional and physical stress I’ve been under since August of 2020. I carry a card in my pocket with a note telling people to not call an ambulance when I’m writhing on the floor in pain from a condition Covid/malpractice gifted me with last September. I’ve only had to use it once, this week anyway. Baby steps, right?
In other news, I blinked and my tiny sweet little boy turned into a man. What a man he is, too: thoughtful, kind, progressive thinker, and just a good dude all the way around. Proud. Awestruck. Sad. Those are the emotions I carry as a mom of a 17 year old man on the verge of leaping out of the nest. I have prepared him for flight and I can’t wait to see him soar.
Five years married to my honey. That catch of a man that steals my breath with every touch, each gaze, and soft word. Lucky. I am that woman.
I will continue to soar in spite of all that tries to keep me on the ground.
I’m angry at the world, but I’m still here. I’m tougher than most people think, but some days I lock myself in my room and cry. I’ve figured out this weird side of me. I’m an empath. Everything is so gross. Everyone is so selfish. This world has a sickness, not just Covid, but something much worse. I feel every single emotion and have to pick which emotions are my own. It’s tiring. Maybe I’ll land here for a while. No one knows me here anymore and maybe it’s a little “safer” to be vulnerable. 07182020
Alice in Wonderland (1951)
It’s so nice being at a job where I’m not stressed every day.
I like my nose. Also Ipsy is killing it with the boxes lately. Huda highlight pallet and naked eyeshadows? Yes please!
Proof of life, though I had a rough go in April. I quit my job in June landed my dream job Monday. Up we go from here. Hi everyone. 💜
It’s been a while. Hi.
I have so many questions about this situation. 1) why? 2) IBS and needs an emergency location to poop? 3) is this going to fall off and cover my car in poop (I think as I roll up my windows and change lanes) 4) whyyyy?
Look, I’m fat and I’m good with it. I’m fucking strong. Come on, that ass though. Getting my bits fit. I call it FatTastic!
Bea’s crazy ball face
Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.
Roy Bennett
I’m so proud of my little city. 💙
This hit me right in the feels.
The bigger shark eats all the smaller sharks.
I’m fucking dying. Big thanks to @casaofjules2
Cuuuuute!