i put the bi in bitter @kritisk - Tumblr Blog

If you have a senior to check on ask them to "borrow" something small so they think they're helping you.

My mom (72) recently downsized and moved close enough to me that checking on her in person regularly is not really out of my way, but when I was obvious about it she wouldn’t let me “stop-by” because she was, “fine”.

Well, one day I actually needed some aluminum foil so I called and asked if I could borrow enough to cover a baking tin because I didn’t want to run to the store. She said sure, but when I got to her house she needed furniture moved, a wasp nest removed, and her coffee pot fixed. After I got the foil I mentioned each thing cautiously and she let me take care of them for her. So next weekend I’ll need a cup of rice and check on her again.

morwentrouble

Even better, here’s an array of more reciprocal options for building relationship & supporting seniors’ dignity and independence:

- ask for something they can actually help you with. Elders have skills. Mending? Advice about knitting, gardening, home repair, nevermind professional training?

-ask about their experiences. “I was reading about xyz event the other day & I would love to know what that time was like for you. Can we chat about it over tea?” Goes double for family history for relatives.

-“Someone gave me this [or, I ended up with extra] & I don’t need/want it, but I bet you have a use for it. Can I bring it over? I would hate for it to go to waste.”

-work side-by-side. They get your physical help, you get their experience & expertise. “Could I come over & have you show me how you [used to] prune your gorgeous roses? I’m trying to get better with mine.”

healthy-punk

5:20pm

iphigenesis

in a way john watson is a fantasy (what if you had this brilliant enigmatic friend and what if he liked you in particular and what if he offered you the excitement of youth and adventures and a way out of boring society life and all without having to actually give up your status as a gentleman so you could have the best of both worlds) and in a way sherlock holmes is a fantasy (what if someone never got tired of you despite your various strange habits and mood swings and instead of simply tolerating you they genuinely liked you and what if you didn’t have to live alone forever and what if you never had to give up doing the things you love) and of course there’s the most fantastical part of it all (what if you could afford london housing prices)

tereshkina

Giselle holding Albrecht's sword by the blade <3

(1. Beryl Goldwyn 2. Marianela Nuñez 3. Anna Pavlova 4. Irina Kolpakova)

kilosink

They are asking (respectfully) to see your coin collection (no intentions of taking to add to their horde)

comikbook

happy pride month dykes i love you dykes

boytoymaker

frank brunner capturimg that specific travelling brand of loneliness immsooooo oh my god

thepaintedchateau

...dwell in this contemplative season of life...

flowerytale

Louisa May Alcott, from Little Women

poetic--elixir

...and then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?

Vincent van Gogh

urgetocreate

Susanne Ussing, I Drivhuset, installed at Ordrupgaardsamlingen, Denmark, 1980, wood, newspaper, metal chimney vents

myfairynuffstuff

Émile Quentin Brin (1863 - 1950) - Roseraie en Fleurs. Oil on canvas.

indigosfindings

how do you pronounce the honourific "Ms." in english

"miss"

"miz"

other

unsure/see results

Voting ended onMay 21

mortalityplays

really good "shocking number of people are confidently objectively demonstrably completely wrong" poll

3liza

i am losing my fucking mind

avocado-moon

#we dont use honorifics in my first language so whenever i have to select options (usually for flights) im always so confused#like what is actually the difference between miss and ms#i like miss bc it sounds more historical and im a historian so

"Miss" means an unmarried woman. "Mrs." means a married woman. (both of these have origins in the word "mistress" as in "mistress of the house".)

"Ms." - prounounced MIZ, btw - is a third option popularized by gloria steinem in the 70s - mainly through her feminist magazine Ms. - which is meant to be a neutral term, usable for any and all women regardless of marital status (hence the soul destroying irony of the tags above). it gained wider general acceptance when geraldine ferraro, the first woman to be nominated as VP on a national major party ticket, started using it widely to avoid confusion, since she was married but used her maiden name professionally. eventually over the years it came into common use though i do think the brits are a little more critical of it than americans (as far as i'm aware lol)

avocado-moon

"obscure facts only a tumblr user would know" and it's one of the most influential institutions of second wave american feminism. PLEASE open the schools

onbearfeet

Hi. I'm an unmarried woman in her forties. I use Ms. and pronounce it "miz", though I don't correct people who accidentally use a soft S. I use Ms. because it's no one's business but my own whether I'm married, to a man or anyone else, and that's what Ms. means. It means fuck off, my marital status is irrelevant, just as it is for every man who uses Mr.

I've had people (usually children) ask me at work if I'm a missus or a miss. I have replied that I am a miz, full stop. And when they pressed for which one I was REALLY, I have replied, "Why? Are you going to treat me differently depending on whether there's a ring somewhere?"

That's what Ms. is for. That is its linguistic function. It says, "This is an adult woman," and nothing else. Nothing else is necessary, and in my case, nothing else is desired.

I also use miz for other women unless and until they express a preference for something else because I don't magically know everyone else's marital status when I meet them. That's a courtesy—I'm declining to assume marital status and allowing them to decide whether they wish to declare it.

Also, I've taught English and worked as an editor for twenty years. I am quite literally the grammar police. This use of Ms. is a standard construction. If you didn't learn it in school, someone failed you.