STILL SANE

LEE SEUNGHOON | 25 Y/O | JOURNALIST I think you keep secrets like secrets like to be kept, and I want to learn them all.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» adventure time.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

Mark blinked several times before finally registering that the voice isn’t his and that it was coming from the backseat. He took a glance at the rear-view mirror before letting his eyes go wide and releasing a panicked voice as well. “Ya, ya, ya! That’s my question! Who the fuck are you!?” He peels his eyes from the mirror and laid it on the road for a second before screeching it to a halt again, but not for a potty break but to yank a stranger out of his vehicle. After pulling the handbrake, he turns his head to the backseat and sees the utter confusion in the man’s face mirror his own as the stranger clenches his jacket close to his chest, “How did you get in here?!” Mark asks, not hiding the confusion, fear, and irritation in his voice. So much for his peaceful vacation.

seunghoon first thought is that he has been just kidnapped (well, not so just since it seems like he’s been stuck in the car for a few hours now), though he doesn’t really have good enough reasons for thinking so. he knows that journalists are often associated with spreading false information and causing some manipulations, yet he’s certainly not one of those who make malicious comments and aim to hurt anyone with words. it has never been his cup of tea. but as he dwells on it more and recalls the previous night when he was waiting for that politician, he ponders whether his intentions were so pure. of course, he didn’t want to ask the man how he was doing but he sought sensation.

and as his eyes are continuously focused on the driver, he supposes that the male might be related to that. what if he’s the guy’s relative and at all costs he wants to protect the family’s good name and therefore get rid of nosy journalists? no, that’s absurd. but he also doesn’t look like someone who would have the need to steal seunghoon’s car. yet is there any universal rule for how a car thief should look like? there’s too many possibilities but at the same time it seems like there’s completely none. he’ll sooner go crazy than figure out what’s the case.

slowly letting go of the jacket he’s been clutching on for dear life before putting it beside, he again pulls his eyebrows together as his question is returned, making him ponder if the other could be as clueless as he is. nothing makes sense. nothing. leaning back to sink further into the seat, in the meantime he grabs the belt to fasten it — safety first, after all. and as another question is asked, in a raised voice he already wants to pick on and nicely tell the stranger to calm down, he wants to believe that it’s just a horrendous dream.

“how did i get in here?” a nervous laughter escapes his mouth as he can feel a vein pumping up his temple. “normally. thanks to the door.” he adds after a while, with a sarcastic undertone. “it’s my  car, so how do you think i could get in?!” glaring at the man behind the steering wheel, he scoffs under his breath and inside his head he curses himself for not closing the door after deciding to take a nap on the backseat. he could avoid this and instead of waking up in fear and puzzlement he could have only the backache.

“i’ll introduce myself first then.” clearing his throat as though he was preparing a lengthy monologue, he then takes a deep breath. “i’m lee seunghoon, a journalist who wishes to live at least two decades more.” stretching one arm out, he gave the male a gentle pat on the shoulder. “and who are you? a serial killer who hasn’t been caught yet?”

[krjiyong]

‘irrational irritation’

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

but that’s a fairytale, an idea his loveless, addled brain has come up with the cope with the terror in that little girl’s eyes, and he knows there’s no salvation for him, there’s no happiness. he walks in through the door and looks at seunghoon for just a moment, but something twists inside his gut at the sight of him, and jiyong just keeps walking into the bathroom. he grumbles something like “don’t you have a job? what the fuck” he sighs again though and washes his hands slowly, being sure to get any spots of blood off him. “and if you’re about to ask me where i’ve been, don’t fucking bother, i don’t want to talk about it.”

it was late, too late for seunghoon to be up. and those weren’t assignments and deadlines that didn’t let him get a wink of sleep but uncertainty which was slowly turning into fear. it wasn’t the first night when he’d been waiting for jiyong to come home. sometimes he would eventually zone out before being woken up by the sound of slammed doors, sometimes he would stare blankly ahead and wait without moving even by an inch.

he felt more unsettled than usually and he couldn’t really tell where was the inner disturbance coming from. ever since jiyong had shown his true colours to him, he started living in non-stopping worry and finding a good enough reason for his concern was bordering on impossible — just like explaining why he and the other were still together. the older’s sudden bursts of anger were hard to bear. his words would pierce through seunghoon’s heart like needles or knives. if he was to watch it from afar, he would probably never say that those two men, who seemed not to share any similarities, would ever make it work. somehow. but then he was quickly reminded that after all opposites do attract. so that might’ve been the case.

at some point he stopped asking questions, he wouldn’t dare to. the view of jiyong’s state whenever he appeared in the doorway was always saying more than what he would confess to him. seunghoon was aware he wasn’t one of the good guys. he was too aware of it, yet he couldn’t let go of him. deep down on the inside he believed that his sensitiveness and innocence he didn’t lack would finally change the male.

hearing the so anticipated steps, he immediately perked up and greeted jiyong with a grin of glee and relief; his eyes chose to block out the sight of dried blood drops. he wanted to rush towards him and let his arms embrace him and feel that he was alive. but his enthusiasm was dimmed by the words leaving the man’s mouth. getting up from the couch, unease washed over his face. “i—” i missed you? i was scared for you? i have no idea where it’s all going? “i was waiting for you...” he muttered under his breath before deciding to walk up to him. his gaze was continuously avoiding jiyng’s hands that weren’t likely to be completely clean.

as much as he didn’t want to know what he was exactly busy with, a part of him was enormously curious. though his inquires would only make it worse. with a small smile crawling back onto his lips, he warily stretched his arm out to gently touch jiyong’s shoulder. “getting this off your chest might make you feel better. i’m here to hear you out.”

[minhoxkr-blog]

Let’s talk about;

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

     The cafe, to Minho’s relief, was quite empty. He quickly ordered himself a drink - black coffee with no sugar or cream - and found a seat at a more deserted corner of the cafe, where he believed would remain undisturbed for the rest of the noon. One leg crossed over the other, Minho took a sip of the bitter concoction as he waited for the designated time to arrive.

seunghoon was never too fond of sports and he wasn’t likely to ever understand the fuss around it, especially when it came to soccer. he couldn’t figure out what was so fascinating about staring at the television screen and following the little dot being kicked by men running around the field. for him, there was no reason to be so emotional about something that was just a game in his view.

and following that mindset of his, he shouldn’t be the one to have first dibs on interviewing choi minho. besides his appearance, he didn’t know much about him. seunghoon had no idea what was his role in the team or for how many months or years he had been playing in the korean representation. if there was other work he could do instead, he would snatch that opportunity instead of trying to make it seem as if he was a soccer fanatic. there was no way he could study minho’s biography overnight, so he could sense that the interview would be nothing else but a great improvisation.

storming out of his apartment as he realized it wouldn’t take long for him to be late, he quickly checked every pocket to make sure he hadn’t left any of his essentials at home. the notebook and several pens were secure in his bag which was already ripped here and there but he was too sentimental towards it to buy a new one.

walking into the cafe, it was almost clear, so he didn’t really have to search for the athlete as he soon fell into his sight. before making his way to the table, he ordered a latte and then sat across from the older male. “choi minho, am i right?” he smiled warmly at the man and let out a tad awkward laughter. “i’m lee seunghoon. it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

[fy-winner]

© 설렌다 승훈아 | do not edit

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» sweeter bitter.

( » @krjiyong )

if alcohol didn’t make seunghoon lose his consciousness and pass out by the bar counter or anywhere else he happened to be, he was talking too much. and it wasn’t only about opening up to random people and sharing the story of his life with them but also making wrong comments and remarks. usually he would stifle those, no matter how tempted he was to let out his snarky side. yet after emptying a glass of something which’s name he couldn’t memorize, he had little control. actually, his instinct of self-preservation was gone as unreasonable rage started to fill him up.

there wasn’t a single person around who would awake the anger in him. suddenly he was mad at himself. seunghoon would always focus on the present but now it was an amazing opportunity to reflect on his past — things he had and hadn’t said, moves he had and hadn’t made. if i had more courage then, i could be already dead, he mused inside his head and what escaped his mouth was a laughter containing both bitterness and pity. he felt more and more eyes looking his way as he was sitting by a table settled in the corner of some sleazy bar he stumbled upon. it was brimming with men older than him and and he was remaining careless about anyone until this very moment. none of them seemed pleasant and their gazes began to turn into piercing and disturbing glares.

realizing he needed to get out of there as soon as it was possible, he clumsily got up and keeping his head hanging low, he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stormed out of that place. seunghoon hurried his pace but with the stagger wavering his steps, he was almost tripping over his own feet. he soon heard someone walking behind him — or rather, following him. it could be any pedestrian who was taking the same route as him, yet when he felt some force throwing him into a brick wall, he immediately ditched that idea. the stranger’s knuckles hit his cheek and the blood-like taste spread across his tongue. slouching, seunghoon grunted and didn’t manage to gaze up at his opponent as he was quick to gift him with another punch striking him in the nose.

sliding down the wall, the other was ruthless. instead of letting go and leaving him in this dark alley, he kicked his stomach. again and again. he wanted to speak, to beg him for mercy but not a word could get through his throat. a lone tear rolled down and the next view he could see was the man’s shoes as he was finally fleeing. 

seunghoon felt hopeless. there was no way he could get up and go back home by himself or call a cab. curling himself up on the cold pavement, trying his best not to yell at the top of his lungs whilst the pain was taking over his body more and more, the echoing sound of boots sent shivers down his spine. “please, i—” he whined, not being able to even finish the sentence.

[baekhyunxkr-blog]

— nighttime bliss

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

so he asks “what’s it gonna be today?”, but already reaches for a tall glass, and wrinkles his nose with a small laugh as he gives his - whatever seunghoon is, toeing the line between acquaintances and friends - a once-over. “do you want to get drunk tonight or are you just looking to take the edge off? or did you-”, and now he conspiratorially leans over the counter, his grin widening, “did you come to enjoy my company?”

after the past days spent at home, polishing an article for the next issue, his steps take him outside and it’s not a coincidence that the red light club happens to be his place for a little leisure. despite the live music that seems to be its signature, the bartender becomes the main reason for his visit. immediately spotting baekhyun as he walks in, a broad grin paints his lips and he’s silently glad it’s his shift. he doesn’t only serve drinks which’s taste is almost heaven-like, but the man is also an attentive listener who has never tried to shoo seunghoon away whenever he would open his mouth to start talking.

in fact, he remembers vaguely things he’s confessed to him while emptying a yet another glass that might’ve been already too much. and that makes him wonder how many times the other had to listen to the same anecdote or how heavy topics he had accidentally dug up. but the amicable look in baekhyun’s eyes and the beam he greets him with takes the load of seunghoon’s shoulders. maybe he hasn’t blurted out anything risky or too questionable yet.

leaning against the bar counter, a warm laughter bubbles free upon catching the question. on his way here he wasn’t planning to get blackout drunk or drink at all — actually, he thought what it would be like to maintain his sober state. “well, well...” tapping his fingertips against the counter, he flashes a barely significant smirk. “how surprising would that be if i said it’s indeed about your company?” jokingly wiggling his eyebrows as he shows off his pearly whites, he finally sits on the stool. “you have the very rare chance to witness me fully conscious!”

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» nightmare land.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

There is someone else in there so Ilhoon steps in carefully, mindful of the dangers that the dreamscape has to offer. Real or not, Ilhoon is not risking it. Nonetheless, he approaches the figure who calls him out by a name he can’t recognize but that face… that one he knows. The familiarity is enough that there is some relief yet, he can see something is wrong both in the way the other reacts and the constant denial in his words.  No, he’s not Jiseung, whoever that is, and maybe he should be them maybe it would confer him reliability, maybe they’d be welcomed there.

“No. Not Jiseung. It’s Ilhoon. Can’t you remember?”

lifting his head fearfully, the man before him doesn’t look like his brother anymore and he’s not sure whether it’s a good sign or not. of course, he’d want to see his sibling again but currently he’s just haunting him like a poltergeist. when the other introduces himself, the name brings a sense of familiarity and so does his face. though it seems as if he only happened to pass by ilhoon in the streets. his memory is too much of a haze for him to recall more distinct details and in general he hasn’t mastered the art of memorizing people’s names what often came across as quite an disadvantage at his work, yet notebooks exist for a reason.

little by little he’s calming down and despite not being able to find out why the man’s features don’t seem completely strange, seunghoon feels safer with the thought of having a companion. slowly getting up from the ground, he lightly tilts his head towards the side and lets out a hum in pensiveness upon catching his question. “i don’t really know what i’m supposed to remember...” briefly running fingers through his tousled hair, he has a look around the room he somehow ended up in. the surroundings appear to be slightly more real than moments ago, yet it still remains to be dream-like and not utterly authentic and tangible.

“can you tell how much time has passed?” his eyes dart at ilhoon, a hint of hope glinting in his pupils. “oh, anyways... i’m seunghoon.” not being certain if they’ve met before, in the real world, he soon emits a long sigh as it gets to him that the images he’s witnessed not so long ago must’ve been a cruel creation of his mind. and that also makes him wonder about ilhoon’s experiences in the place they’re stuck in. “i’m sorry for what happened earlier. you know, me confusing you for my brother and so on.” although he probably shouldn’t be apologizing for something he had no control over, it’s always been a habit of his to take the blame.

hiding his trembling hands in the pockets of his pants, he’s being hesitant about asking his doubts away. “have you also seen something... odd?” raising an arched eyebrow, he then nibbles on his bottom lip nervously.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» hero without a cape.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

He was walking down the street, following the faint scent. It wasn’t long before the scent grew stronger and was beginning to cross his path. Shou approached the man from behind and tapped his shoulder lightly. “Excuse me, are you missing something?” he asked. Shou didn’t want to outwardly say he had the notebook in case this person wasn’t the actual owner. For all he knew, this person could’ve touched the notebook and left their scent behind. This way if the stranger said they were looking for their notebook, Shou would know it was the owner. 

seunghoon didn’t even want to think about the possibility of his notebook being gone for good. he could already imagine finding out about it being stolen thanks to a newspaper where he would read an oddly familiar article, one of those written inside his treasure but with a different author name. that was a nightmare for every journalist and even if he wanted to get a lawyer and step on the legal path with the delinquent who would dare to live off his hard work, there wouldn’t be a way to prove it really belonged to him. his thoughts might’ve been getting quite abstract, maybe also paranoid, yet he couldn’t help it when his heart was racing and his eyes kept on frantically looking around.

at some point he just felt like crying as the helplessness started to overtake him. although he hoped that some kind soul decided to make the effort and return the notebook to its owner, seunghoon was quickly reminded that it could be a struggle. his name wasn’t written anywhere and he doubted anyone would recognize his handwriting or doodles he was leaving on the margins whenever he was stuck mid-sentence, not being sure how to go on with his reflections.

once someone patted his shoulder, he rapidly turned around and his pupils were supposedly filled with more fear than needed. standing for a while with his mouth agape, he stared at the stranger and firstly he was trying to recall whether he should know him as his face seemed to ring a bell, but he was most likely to be just a person he happened to pass by the other day. the question made him open his eyes wide and he immediately nodded eagerly.

“y-yes!” seunghoon stuttered out, nervously gulping as his hands were restlessly tugging on his hoodie’s hem. “several minutes ago i was at a cafe.” he began, a bit more calmly. “i had a notebook with myself... i carry it everywhere.” continuing, he also pondered why the male assumed he could be looking for something. was it this obvious? “well, i must’ve left it at the table and i’m on my way back there... sorry, i’m probably being too hopeful, but have you found it by any chance?” letting a gentle smile appear on his lips, he lightly raised his brows in anticipation.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» adventure time.

( » @krxmarktuan )

at moments like that, seunghoon hated his job. he had no idea for how long he had been already standing in the middle of cold and empty parking lot, where he was surrounded solely by a few cars. at this point the concept of time seemed to be just an illusion. in one hand he held his notebook and a pen whilst the other was gripping on his phone, hoping his boss would give him a call and say ‘never mind, you can go home.’ but no. the politician he was waiting for was nowhere to be seen, so he looked over the nearby hotel’s sign — the place where the man was supposed to stay — to make sure it was the right one.

“looks like we’re not getting a single word from mr. yoon.” he mused to himself and turned around with resignation to then head towards his car. opening the rear door, it took him several seconds to become surprised by the fact that apparently he hadn’t locked it before. luckily enough, the absence of any living soul around spared him from dealing with a yet another problem that could be the car clout.

maybe the backseat wasn’t the most comfortable bed but it was still better than freezing to death out there. using his jacket as a blanket, he curled up and it was the matter of mere minutes to fall asleep. it might’ve seemed to be a paradox. at home it would take him hours to finally doze off but it could’ve been the circumstances and the accumulated exhaustion that made it way easier for him to flake out.

keeping his eyes shut, he suddenly furrowed his brows as the sound of running wheels and slight bumping jolted him awake. now it was even more impossible for seunghoon to tell how many minutes or hours had passed. carefully getting up, he squinted and looked out of the window to see morning had rolled in. but the moving view made him extremely unsettled, especially since it wasn’t similar to a parking lot at all. fearfully directing his gaze towards the driver seat, noticing a strange male got a high-pitched squeal out of him. “who are you?!” he shouted, tightly hugging his jacket as though it was a teddy bear. 

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» little things.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

and she suddenly realizes two things about herself, two things that is both slightly shocking but also pretty scary to be feeling.

she’s as giddy as a goddamn schoolgirl, and she is hella flustered.

with each passing second he realizes more and more that he shouldn’t be this nervous. thanks to his uncontrollable restlessness which he can hardly tone down, he might only make himself look like a loser in chaeyoung’s eyes. he taps his fingers on his lap, then folds arms in front of his chest to yet again lay his hands down and hope they don’t quiver too visibly. exhaling a tad heavily, it soon feels as though there’s not enough air as he tries to breathe in deeply.

throughout that time when his uptight actions and gestures are too much for him, his eyes bounce from one corner to another — examining the floor, then the balcony railing before they shyly wander towards chaeyoung. a wave of heat hit his body, his face especially and he couldn’t be more grateful for the nighttime that wouldn’t expose the rosy tint washing over his cheeks.

and her response reminds him of the question he asked her not long ago, yet he managed to almost forget about it. seunghoon hums pensively as his brain takes in the new information and then it gets to him. movies, movies... movies! despite the tinge of uncertainty whether it really is such a brilliant idea, since his nervousness goes beyond its limits when there’s surely more than an inch of space between them, internally he already agreed.

“movies sound good!” he exclaims enthusiastically, a little too loud. “hopefully they haven’t closed all cinemas yet.” adding in a quieter voice, he thinks of possible alternatives in case it appears that they’re not projecting movies for such night owls. “if we happen to be late, we can always... go for a stroll or grab something to eat... or both.” he feels he’s unnecessarily blabbering, so a habitual grin closely follows the end of the sentence.

his mind abruptly fast-forwards. tonight may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him to voice his feelings. nibbling on his bottom lip, he shortly falls silent just thinking about it and creating those manifold scenarios inside his head. what if it goes wrong and... he gulps and breaks into a slightly high-pitched laughter out of the blue.

“so, shall we get going?” getting up, he humorously bows and holds his hand out to chaeyoung, raising an arched eyebrow as a lighthearted smile twists his lips.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» nighttime allurement.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

“would you like another?”

“words to live by...” seunghoon says quietly, with the smile not fading away before he lifts his eyebrows at the man’s following statement. “are you sure? i don’t want you to go broke.” winking friskily as he leans in a bit more, it takes him good several seconds before realizing the change in his body language. the bartender would certainly stay with most of the money in his wallet, since seunghoon needed less and less to completely zone out.

looking down at his nearly drained glass, he licks his lips as though to feel the drink’s taste again. he can sense that by its end this night will be a disaster — the next morning, too — if he agrees to a yet another drink. but the time passes so pleasantly and he doesn’t wish to go home or switch to a cup of water. “yeah, why not?” it leaves his mouth effortlessly and without a second thought. “i’m curious to see what other aces you keep up your sleeve.”

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» champagne problems.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

he slowly unwinds himself to look up at his friend, squinting and lifting an eyebrow. “is that how you treat someone you so roughly fucked last night? goddamn, you’re the least gentle lover, seunghoon, the least you could do is make me breakfast or coffee.” he tries to keep a straight face, tries not to smile or let slip that he might be even slightly bullshitting the other. he doesn’t know what sunghoon remembers, but it can’t be much more than he himself, so there’s room for some uncertainty. “you’re not very good at this whole ‘morning after’ thing, are you?”

seunghoon has never been much of a drinker, though once he gripped a bottle, he felt the sudden urge to impress the crowd — no matter how horrible the results would be later on. taemin was often the only person in his audience, so he would just tell himself that a drink more wouldn’t hurt. and that’s exactly how he ended up having no recollection of yesterday and all that’s left for him are assumptions. yet he hopes his friend remembers more than he does. but the question is, does he even want to know more?

the state they left the room in and how they woke up with their shirts off might be a proof convincing enough. however, there are plenty of ways that could lead to this very scene. the thought of them two having sex last night seems abstract but it also brings back the other times he got wasted. suddenly seunghoon shakes his head, wishing to focus on the present and not the past mistakes he could’ve committed whilst being under the influence of alcohol.

“wait, what?!” he immediately takes a step backward, narrowing his eyes at the male before letting out a nervous laughter, filled with much hesitance. by now he should’ve been familiar with taemin’s particular sense of humour. hopefully those words were just jocular, so an unsure smile sits in the corners of his mouth as he folds arms in front of his bare chest. “that’s because i’m usually gone in the morning.” he bluffs, knowing that his sexual life is probably not half as eventful as taemin’s. “and i’m not your maid either, so no breakfast in bed for you-- or rather breakfast on the floor?” pointing at the man with his index finger, he silently prays it really is all fun and games and nothing happened between them.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» ooc.

i managed to get off hiatus sooner than i expected, so... hello again!

seeing all those new muses, i’m already excited to plot with you and i hope you’ll excuse my a bit late welcome message-- and talking about messages, honestly speaking i’ve kind of lost track of them, so please like this post and i’ll sneak into your inbox~

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» ooc.

hello! i’d like to inform you that i’m going to be on hiatus until may 17th (but i’ll probably manage to come back sooner) due to exams-- i’ll try to be checking on messages here, so you can still hmu for plotting or just a chit-chat!

wish me luck and take care of yourself, everyone!

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» hero without a cape.

( » @krshou )

seunghoon preferred writing with a cup of black coffee near his hand, preferably in a cafe than his own apartment. his place sometimes gave him quite a writer’s block, as though he knew each nook so well that not a hint of inspiration was coming from it anymore. therefore he happened to change those cafes too; he could hardly stick to a particular one. and so today, after waking up in the morning instead of sleeping until afternoon hours would roll in, he put on an oversized hoodie, ripped jeans and a pair of worn-out sneakers before heading out. with a notebook clutched in his hand, of course.

it was the only tangible object he couldn’t really let go of. the male carried it everywhere and he would sooner forget his phone than this little treasure. he had all the drafts there, along with ideas for upcoming interviews and the important dates that could quickly fade into oblivion (he never had the memory for those). he couldn’t rely solely on his laptop as it could break down fatally, leaving him with completely nothing and in journalism time was treasure more than anything else.

having crossed out some of the bullet points on the to-do list that was written down one of the pages, he closed the notebook and then shoved it aside before coming back to his now lukewarm coffee. taking a sip, the beverage's temperature was no longer enjoyable, so seunghoon finished it in a gulp and rapidly stood up, remembering there were still a few locations he needed to visit.

walking down the pavement a tad hurriedly, it took him several minutes to realize his hands felt a little empty. terror had flown into his pupils, his steps halted as he slowly looked downwards at his palms. “shit.” he murmured to himself whilst his gaze chaotically darted from side to side. what if someone has stolen it-- he thought and even more what ifs began to take over his mind.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

» don’t get lost.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

( ... )

wendy rolled her eyes so hard it hurt. walking up to him. ❝ — My guess is that we’re stuck here until we solve some sort of puzzle, huh? ❞ leaning against the wall, she handed him the piece of paper she received, just in case he got something else. ❝ Apparently, neither of us were listening when people told us not to accept candy from strangers. ❞ her humour hid an undertone of concern for the man. her own panic was put aside in order to give some sort of reassurance to seunghoon, who was most likely freaking out much more than her ( at least, much more visibly )

being left all alone right now seems to be a worse nightmare than the place he suddenly found himself in after falling asleep. and it might make sense, as the circumstances knock him into assumptions that it’s just a bad dream in which he feels too intensely. usually those were solely hazy images once he would wake up, often he would simply forget what he was dreaming about. thereby in this growing panic, he manages to find some spare time for a little bit of contemplation — will he remember this particular one vividly? in all honesty, he would rather not.

there were too many things he wanted to fade into oblivion. including those terrific scenes his imagination would project, though sometimes seunghoon was also guilty of letting himself think of manifold dark scenarios. and he could never figure out why among the positiveness he has been nursing for the past years, a tinge of horror would lace it nonetheless. so maybe what surrounds him presently is this, those fears sneaking up on him again until they would wrap their arms around him and pull him in. closer and closer.

wandering whilst crying for help, internally and aloud, the silhouette his eyes catch as he storms through the corridor — which supposedly is one of many — gives him so much relief, despite not being entirely certain at who he’s staring. but as the female’s voice resonates and her features are fairly familiar once he’s hurriedly walking up to her, he grins as broadly as the child who realized they weren’t completely lost in the supermarket. the joyous state taking over him is soon toned down by her words.

“puzzle...” seunghoon scoffs quietly, folding arms in front of his chest before lifting his head to hold his friend’s gaze. “i don’t have enough patience for puzzle.” he adds and then raises his brows that were furrowed in indignation. “never mind-- that’s not a game we’re playing, right..?” running fingers through his hair, he tousled them in frustration. “of course, nobody would take a leaflet, so they gave us candy instead.”

crouching down, his heartbeat isn’t calm anymore. “but you think that’s the case?” glancing up, he repeatedly blinks at the other. “wendy, what if we’ll be stuck here forever?” he’s at the verge of flooding her with questions, as if he hopes for receiving encouragement and reassurance. “what if we’ll just rot in here and...” nibbling on his lower lip, seunghoon stops the negativity slipping out of his mouth without him noticing it at first.

[krxseunghoon-blog]

{ if you think you’ve seen everything, then you are mistaken. are you superstitious? well, you may as well just start now as you walk into a room you had never seen before. dozens or maybe hundreds of mirrors adorn its walls yet most of them are broken but still show you your reflection. in them, you are broken too, even if figuratively, distorted in the shards that surround you. yet, in every single one of them, you see a memory, a dark past that you buried a long time ago; of blood and tears and blame. there is no safe haven … }

the ground seems as it wants to swallow him whole, the temperature drops even more when he thought it could not get colder — just like he was convinced it wouldn’t get worse and that the whatever nightmare he was stuck in would eventually come to its end. what if it’s the beginning? he doesn’t want to know what this hellhole has in store. all he can think of is hurrying up before he will be absorbed or will turn into an ice cube.

breathing in sharply, he spots the door and without having seconds thought and dwelling on what atrocity and dreadfulness might be hiding behind it, he grasps the knob and leaps inside the room. managing to keep his balance last minute, he leans his back against a wall and then has a look around the room he wandered into.

“sorry, do you maybe know–” he starts, though upon recognizing his face in the deformed reflection in front of him, he immediately pulls his dark eyebrows together and carefully takes a few uncertain steps forward. the several pieces of the broken mirrors crack under the soles of his boots, what at first makes him perk up frightfully.

he doesn’t recognize himself. scratches are gracing his cheek; he can’t recall how he got them or who gifted him with those. slicking his tousled hair back, his features suddenly seem to get younger, as though he was given the power to go back to being his teenage self. the corners of his dry lips momentarily go upwards and a relieved laughter resonates.

the glee and joy vanishes as he sees a wound open up across his throat. with his quivering hands he frenzily touches his neck, yet he can only sense smooth skin beneath his fingertips. the mirror shows a different picture and paints it crimson. sticky blood swims down sluggishly until it reaches his chest, staining his white shirt. but he glances down and it’s not what he’s currently wearing. his shattered mind sets the clock back to reminisce the day when at the age of seventeen he was at the verge of finishing his life. by slitting his throat.

seunghoon turns his head, hoping to see his real self but the suffering continues and a thousand of needles pierce through his racing heart. on the other side there’s a projection of the last minutes spent with his brother. then he was sure jiseung would come home again, probably drunk or high, yet the older slammed the door before his nose. the mirror displays them arguing. the image is unclear and he can’t hear the words that were leaving their mouths like bullets, but it’s enough to remind him of the pain residing deep down on the inside.

he suspects what he will be forced to stare at by turning around, so he clenches his fist and shutting his eyes, he hits the mirror till it breaks. keen-edged fragments hurt his knuckles, though it’s a mere scrape in comparison to the submerging memories that decided to smash him down to dust.

“for how long?!” as he shouts, his voice cracks. “for how long it’s going to haunt me?!” falling onto his knees, bruising them too, seunghoon heavily inhales and throws his head back. “i made mistakes, i know. but i try to be a better human.” he says more to himself than to any potential listener. “trust me…”