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@fictionalred gifted me these heddles for band weaving but I've been a bit stuck on them because I haven't been able to find a good resource on using them. Does anyone have a bandweaving guide that is very visual, aimed at rigid heddle users, and has example patterns mapped to the threading?

You have two different types of heddles, the ones with only the long slots and small holes and the ones with some additional shorter slots. The basic principle of using them is the same. You are working the base in plain weave and then you can add additional patterns on top by picking threads to show either the weft yarn or - with the more complicated heddles - the additional warp threads.

This is how the basic plain weave works. The left shows an intersection with the warp threads (purple and green) moving up and down around the weft (pink) and the right shows how it looks when viewed from above. I have used different colours for the threads in the slots and the holes to make it easier to follow. The weft travels between the warp yarns securing them in place but it's normally not seen in the finished ribbon because the warp yarns cover it. Every pass of the shuttle through the shed (the opening between the warp threads) will create a row in your pattern.

This is how the heddle looks when threaded. Mine has a slightly different design compared to yours, the additional row of holes is used in the same way as the shorter slots on your heddles but we're ignoring them for now.

This is how it looks under tension. As you can see it creates an opening for the shuttle to pass through. Since the yellow yarn in the slots can move up and down freely but the pink yarn in the holes is locked in place you can move the heddle up and down, shifting which yarn is on top. One complete round of weaving is created by passing the shuttle from right to left with the yellow yarn on top, pulling the heddle up until the pink yarn is on top, passing the shuttle through from left to right and finally letting the heddle drop down so the yellow yarn is on top again.

This is how several rounds of (poorly tensioned) plain weave looks. As you can see the darker pink weft thread isn't really visible. You can use it to add patterns on top of the plain weave though, by picking which threads you go over and under in a given shed.

Here I'm working the five threads on each side of the pink row in regular plain weave but I'm also going over the four middle threads of the warp with my weft yarn. This leaves part of the weft visible in the centre and as you can see the yellow weft will also be more dominant since they're the only ones being pushed up by the weft yarn running under them. I didn't get a photo of this but if you look at the other side of the ribbon you will se a corresponding all pink line in the middle made up by the warp threads I passed over. The designs made by letting the weft yarn show will always be in a horizontal direction.

The additional shorter slots in some of your heddles will let you add patterns that run in a vertical direction as well. Just as with weft-made patterns you will make them by picking what threads you go over or under but they will also always sit either on top of or under the plain weave. Whatever pattern you make on one side of the ribbon will be reversed on the other side. You generally use a thicker yarn for the additional warp to make sure it covers the base and that the patterns are clear and well defined. I didn't have a thicker yarn on hand so I doubled up the thread instead.

This is an intersection of how the additional warp threads travel, overlaying the base plain weave.

As you can see this creates an extra layer of threads.

If I don't want to show off the additional warp on a row I just pass the shuttle through with the warp yarn on top as usual. The additional warp will sit at the bottom, visible from the reverse.

If I do want to make a pattern I go under those threads instead, picking up the regular warp threads in between the additional ones along the way.

I can also choose to go under the additional warp but over the regular one (or vice versa) if I want a combination of warp- and weft-made patterns.

This is what the patterns created by the additional warp threads look like, showing both sides of the ribbon. Top side with the flower design and bottom with the long loose threads. The one on the left is using additional warp only and the one on the right is a combination of additional warp and weft.

Hopefully this makes sense, I'm happy to try to answer questions if doesn't.

Yes this is what I was having trouble with, thank you!

Some questions:

I have heddles where the long slots have different heights and I have heddles with two rows of holes. What's the difference in use?

Thank you for specifying about the yarn weights . I've noticed guides mentioning them as an aside. If you have more info on what weights to use where I'd love to hear.

Same with your warp, set up, belt etc. I'd love to hear your experience!

I think the main difference between having an extra row of holes for the additional warp and having the shorter slots is that the slots will still allow some up and down movement. It is much easier to pick the threads on the slot rows for me than it is on the hole rows since I can get both sets of warp thread to line up compared to the set distance between the holes. Tilting the heddle backwards helps a bit but it also leaves less of an opening for the shuttle so it's a little annoying to work with.

What yarn to use depends on how thick and wide you want the ribbon to be. As long as it's not too thick to easily slide through the heddle it should be fine. I think a dk base and worsted overlay could be a good starting point if your heddles allow it. Wool yarn is great for this since it spreads and cover the base well and sticks to itself which can help with the floats of the overlay. Cotton and other yarns will also work just fine though. I used thin sashiko yarn for the photos and it wasn't the best option but if I had done a better job setting it up and tensioning it it would have looked a lot better. It's been a while since I did any weaving and I'm a little rusty.

This works just like any other back-strap loom, you need something to hook your warp onto and a belt or something similar to wrap around your waist. For this I just made a slip-knot in each end of the warp and looped one end around a warping peg I had clamped to a table and threaded a belt that closes with a small carabiner through the other. If you have a strong binder clip or something similar you can tie that to a belt/ribbon around your waist and that will make it easy to just move the holding point when the ribbon gets too long. You don't need to put a ton of tension on the warp to get it tight enough.

@fictionalred gifted me these heddles for band weaving but I've been a bit stuck on them because I haven't been able to find a good resource on using them. Does anyone have a bandweaving guide that is very visual, aimed at rigid heddle users, and has example patterns mapped to the threading?

You have two different types of heddles, the ones with only the long slots and small holes and the ones with some additional shorter slots. The basic principle of using them is the same. You are working the base in plain weave and then you can add additional patterns on top by picking threads to show either the weft yarn or - with the more complicated heddles - the additional warp threads.

This is how the basic plain weave works. The left shows an intersection with the warp threads (purple and green) moving up and down around the weft (pink) and the right shows how it looks when viewed from above. I have used different colours for the threads in the slots and the holes to make it easier to follow. The weft travels between the warp yarns securing them in place but it's normally not seen in the finished ribbon because the warp yarns cover it. Every pass of the shuttle through the shed (the opening between the warp threads) will create a row in your pattern.

This is how the heddle looks when threaded. Mine has a slightly different design compared to yours, the additional row of holes is used in the same way as the shorter slots on your heddles but we're ignoring them for now.

This is how it looks under tension. As you can see it creates an opening for the shuttle to pass through. Since the yellow yarn in the slots can move up and down freely but the pink yarn in the holes is locked in place you can move the heddle up and down, shifting which yarn is on top. One complete round of weaving is created by passing the shuttle from right to left with the yellow yarn on top, pulling the heddle up until the pink yarn is on top, passing the shuttle through from left to right and finally letting the heddle drop down so the yellow yarn is on top again.

This is how several rounds of (poorly tensioned) plain weave looks. As you can see the darker pink weft thread isn't really visible. You can use it to add patterns on top of the plain weave though, by picking which threads you go over and under in a given shed.

Here I'm working the five threads on each side of the pink row in regular plain weave but I'm also going over the four middle threads of the warp with my weft yarn. This leaves part of the weft visible in the centre and as you can see the yellow weft will also be more dominant since they're the only ones being pushed up by the weft yarn running under them. I didn't get a photo of this but if you look at the other side of the ribbon you will se a corresponding all pink line in the middle made up by the warp threads I passed over. The designs made by letting the weft yarn show will always be in a horizontal direction.

The additional shorter slots in some of your heddles will let you add patterns that run in a vertical direction as well. Just as with weft-made patterns you will make them by picking what threads you go over or under but they will also always sit either on top of or under the plain weave. Whatever pattern you make on one side of the ribbon will be reversed on the other side. You generally use a thicker yarn for the additional warp to make sure it covers the base and that the patterns are clear and well defined. I didn't have a thicker yarn on hand so I doubled up the thread instead.

This is an intersection of how the additional warp threads travel, overlaying the base plain weave.

As you can see this creates an extra layer of threads.

If I don't want to show off the additional warp on a row I just pass the shuttle through with the warp yarn on top as usual. The additional warp will sit at the bottom, visible from the reverse.

If I do want to make a pattern I go under those threads instead, picking up the regular warp threads in between the additional ones along the way.

I can also choose to go under the additional warp but over the regular one (or vice versa) if I want a combination of warp- and weft-made patterns.

This is what the patterns created by the additional warp threads look like, showing both sides of the ribbon. Top side with the flower design and bottom with the long loose threads. The one on the left is using additional warp only and the one on the right is a combination of additional warp and weft.

Hopefully this makes sense, I'm happy to try to answer questions if doesn't.

@fictionalred gifted me these heddles for band weaving but I've been a bit stuck on them because I haven't been able to find a good resource on using them. Does anyone have a bandweaving guide that is very visual, aimed at rigid heddle users, and has example patterns mapped to the threading?

You have two different types of heddles, the ones with only the long slots and small holes and the ones with some additional shorter slots. The basic principle of using them is the same. You are working the base in plain weave and then you can add additional patterns on top by picking threads to show either the weft yarn or - with the more complicated heddles - the additional warp threads.

This is how the basic plain weave works. The left shows an intersection with the warp threads (purple and green) moving up and down around the weft (pink) and the right shows how it looks when viewed from above. I have used different colours for the threads in the slots and the holes to make it easier to follow. The weft travels between the warp yarns securing them in place but it's normally not seen in the finished ribbon because the warp yarns cover it. Every pass of the shuttle through the shed (the opening between the warp threads) will create a row in your pattern.

This is how the heddle looks when threaded. Mine has a slightly different design compared to yours, the additional row of holes is used in the same way as the shorter slots on your heddles but we're ignoring them for now.

This is how it looks under tension. As you can see it creates an opening for the shuttle to pass through. Since the yellow yarn in the slots can move up and down freely but the pink yarn in the holes is locked in place you can move the heddle up and down, shifting which yarn is on top. One complete round of weaving is created by passing the shuttle from right to left with the yellow yarn on top, pulling the heddle up until the pink yarn is on top, passing the shuttle through from left to right and finally letting the heddle drop down so the yellow yarn is on top again.

This is how several rounds of (poorly tensioned) plain weave looks. As you can see the darker pink weft thread isn't really visible. You can use it to add patterns on top of the plain weave though, by picking which threads you go over and under in a given shed.

Here I'm working the five threads on each side of the pink row in regular plain weave but I'm also going over the four middle threads of the warp with my weft yarn. This leaves part of the weft visible in the centre and as you can see the yellow weft will also be more dominant since they're the only ones being pushed up by the weft yarn running under them. I didn't get a photo of this but if you look at the other side of the ribbon you will se a corresponding all pink line in the middle made up by the warp threads I passed over. The designs made by letting the weft yarn show will always be in a horizontal direction.

hagiomoto

Okay, if you are tired then you won't be able to read. There I say it. No one else want to say it. It is strange. If you are tired, if you cannot finish a book that's a given. That's why you need to read...at work. You need to steal your reading time from your employers.

freegan-life

Dumpster Diving Tip: WHEN to Dumpster Dive?

Over the year:

As the year goes on, take into consideration the temperature highs and lows if your dumpster diving for food. If the weather gets too hot during the day, it may be dangerous to pick food from a previous day, as the conditions can encourage bacterial growth. On the flip side, consider that consistently freezing weather practically turns your dumpster into a fridge, if you enjoy the forbidden perishables of dumpster diving like meats.

Always take rain into account and plan around it when making plans with your dumpster buddies. Rain can ruin loot, especially if dumpsters are left open.

The change of college semesters, or as some call it “hippie Christmas” are golden opportunities for all sorts of goodies that privileged college students leave behind. If there are dorms or fraternities/sororities in your neighborhood, they may be worth checking out around December and May

Time of day:

Can you dumpster dive during the day? Yes, But! you run a high chance of getting caught, since that’s when employees are most likely to be coming and going

I suggest looking up the places you want to dumpster dive at beforehand, taking note of and avoiding going within 2 hours of opening and closing, that way you give employees some time to get out there (and nobody flips their shit and calls the cops)

Here’s what to do if you run into cops anyways

Special occasions:

depending on the company, restaurants and grocery stores are sometimes required to throw out all their refrigerated foods when the power goes out, even if it was only for a moment. So next time there’s a storm or you hear about a power outage, go take a peak at your local hot spots, you may just hit a jackpot.

General dumpster diving safety guide

WHERE to dumpster dive

Feel free to add on anything I missed. Be safe and go dumpster diving! ♻️

plantyhamchuk

My tips

Forget flashlights. Get a good headlamp so both hands are free.

A long stick of some sort can be helpful. Often these are in the dumpsters themselves.

Personally, I’m the type that will willingly jump into dumpsters (I even do this when scavenging or dealing with my work’s dumpsters) BUT this is dangerous, dirty, and yes dumpsters can tip over. Know your agility and comfort level.

Be up to date on your tetanus shots.

Idiots are loud and slow and attract unwanted attention. Get in, get out. There’s different philosophies about ‘I belong here’ vs ‘stealth mode’ but whatever you do, lingering is NOT helpful.

If it’s locked, there’s a good possibility that there are cameras. Breaking that lock costs time, and it means that if you are caught, management is more likely to be hostile than usual and more likely to press charges. Know your local laws.

Leave the place better than you found it, or you’re likely to end up with locked and monitored dumpsters.

You can learn when dumpsters are picked up, so you can check them right beforehand. The best divers have a regular “route” they check. Some nights you don’t get much of anything, some can be total bonanzas.

I like to double check the wishlists of local nonprofits, and keep an eye out for those items when diving/scavenging

Beware of bedbugs!!!!!! They can ruin your living situation. Beware of clothing, upholstery, furniture, etc. You can bag the items up in black garbage bags and leave them in the sun for a few weeks but honestly that shit is not worth it in my book.

Don’t forget curb picking. This can be much safer and faster than actually dealing with dumpsters.

Plastic bags and a change of clothes can be very helpful.

It’s more fun with a friend. But make sure they have a good head on their shoulders. Do they have your back?

Some places have diving communities, in which case, it is poor form to take all the good stuff for your “team”. We’ve met other people while diving, and often you find out what the other folks are looking for while you go through stuff together. Working cooperatively means that everyone gets in, and gets out, as quickly as possible.

In case you’re wondering why the heck one would dumpster dive in the first place, it’s truly astounding the perfectly good things people will just toss into landfills, or things that just need a little repair. If you are creative or know someone who is, you can find all manner of things. It’s an interesting hobby for punk environmentalists, freegans, etc. and more than a few people have made some money from selling the stuff that they’ve found dumpster diving.

Many stores will destroy or damage things on purpose before throwing them in the dumpster. Many will not. Learn how different places operate, map out your route, and check often! Good luck and stay safe!

If the cops in your area are bored af, dive someplace else, or just check out the curbside options... trust your intuition if something doesn’t feel right.

turing-tested

why didnt you call the cops or cps?

how about this: when i was 9 and my stepdad beat me until i passed out and i told my friends at school, my teacher over heard and i was interviewed by cps. they also went to my house when i was at school. when i got home, my step father was waiting on the couch, and told me who visited him that day. he told me if i ever snitched again he would beat me to within an inch of my life.

how about this: my mother locked me out of the house when i was 14 and when i cried so loud the neighbors called the cops, the cop told me i should have been respectful of my mother who was trying to sleep.

how about this. the demon you know is less scary than the demon you don’t.

children in abused households are raised to fear the idea of being taken away. children in abusive households see that help makes things worse.

dont you ever blame an abuse victim for not going to the authorities.

turing-tested

yes this okay to reblog!

isuggestyouthliberation

cpc + the cops are more invested in maintaining the social power of adults over children than they are in the wellbeing of those children.

ninefoldrin

If you know of a kid who’s being abused, just talk to them. Ask them how they feel about calling cops/cps before you even think of touching the phone. This includes “mandatory reporting” scenarios. Become a safe person for them to talk to about things that they don’t feel safe telling anyone else because anyone else will call the cops and very likely make things worse. Be someone who can offer comfort or advice when they need it. Be safety and stability for them in a chaotic and dangerous world. You may find a point where you can offer them a way out of the abuse, but only do so with their consent. They know their situation better than you do.

letters-to-lgbt-kids

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Some gentle, simple reminders for Pride Month:

Your existence is a blessing.

This world needs all kinds of people - all kinds of personalities, all kinds of bodies, all kinds of love, all kinds of dreams - to be the wonderful and diverse place it is. You belong here, not despite but because you are uniquely you.

You would be dearly missed if you weren’t here.

Your viewpoint, thoughts and opinions enrich our community. Your voice is an important part of the choir, even if it feels small or shaky on its own.

You have time. Time to explore and play and learn and grow. Time to find and lose and find yourself again. Time to make mistakes and learn from them. Time to get lost and find your way back. Time to question and wonder and be confused and find answers. Time to rest and heal and recover.

You are the only you. But you are never the only one. There is always someone who gets that thing you feel nobody will ever get.

Others are weird in the ways you are weird. You can be weird together. You will find your weirdos.

You are loved.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

viralfrog

original-character-chaos

even before i lived in a place with a massive population of feral cats decimating the wildlife i had read the studies and knew the data said that TNR did not work and we need to be trapping and euthanizing feral cats but now that i’ve lived in a place where there are an enormous number of feral cats it’s like, inconceivable to me that anyone supports TNR, not just for the health of the world but for the sake of the fucking cats

nobody will even acknowledge it not even in most conservation circles. We have a solution to a massive, massive problem that is more humane, cheaper, easier, takes less time, prevents animal suffering, and saves valuable members of our disappearing ecosystem. And nobody is even willing to theoretically acknowledge that it exists outside of a few very small circles.

it works. It works. It is better for the cats. It’s better for the cats. Living in a place where you cannot drive 10 minutes without seeing a new roadkill cat almost every single day really makes you think about how much suffering could have been prevented if we just dealt with the problem we have created. It’s not a pleasant way to go, being hit by a car. Or being ripped apart by a predator, or eating a poison, or starving to death, of dying of an infection, or an illness, or any of the hundred thousand ways an animal in the wild passes without human intervention. Euthanasia is simply falling asleep. It is fucking wild to me that saying you think we should take responsibility for our mistakes and ensure that cats fall asleep peacefully instead of capturing them and then hurling them back out into the world SPECIFICALLY in order to allow them to die in agony makes people treat you like a fucking serial killer.

And if you don’t care about cats dying in agony do you care about the world around you? There’s a species of bird we only know ever existed because someone’s cat brought home our only example. That’s horrific. We’ve lost so much biodiversity because we simply won’t listen to the research, which again, has proven that TNR is not effective.

a peaceful death is not the worst thing that could happen to an animal.

@cathartidae sources for ya!

Sources:

https://ask.ifas.ufl.edu/publication/UW468 “How Effective and Humane Is Trap-Neuter-Release (TNR) for Feral Cats?”

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6523511/ “A Case of Letting the Cat out of The Bag—Why Trap-Neuter-Return Is Not an Ethical Solution for Stray Cat (Felis catus) Management” (also has a thousand references attached that are handy)

Not a reference so much as the human society actively admitting that TNR does nothing to decrease population, actively contributes to harming wildlife, and doesn’t actually help the cats in any way, just reduces some of the nuisance behavior that people complain about: https://www.animalhumanesociety.org/resource/real-impacts-trap-neuter-return

Unscientific from here on out as i don’t feel like trying to find the studies i read in like January of last year:

https://hahf.org/awake/the-trouble-with-trap-vaccinate-neuter-return/ “The Trouble With Trap-Neuter-Re (Abandon!) from the hillsborough animal health foundation, articles also link to studies

https://abcbirds.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/The-Evidence-Against-TNR.pdf from the american bird conservancy, has scientific articles quoted.

Even More Sources on TNR being non-viable and ways that cats are impacting the world from birds to *hawai’i’s monk seals*

Animal Emergency and Referral Center of Minnesota. (2022, October 26). Indoor cats vs. outdoor cats. Animal Emergency & Referral Center of Minnesota. https://aercmn.com/indoor-cats-vs-outdoor-cats/

Campbell, V. (2017, January 25). The Obituary of the Stephens Island Wren. All About Birds. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/news/the-obituary-of-the-stephens-island-wren/

Castillo, D., & Clarke, A. L. (2003). Trap/neuter/release methods ineffective in controlling domestic cat “colonies” on public lands. Natural Areas Journal, 23(3).

Coe, S. T., Elmore, J. A., Elizondo, E. C., & Loss, S. R. (2021). Free-ranging domestic cat abundance and sterilization percentage following five years of a trap–neuter–return program. Wildlife Biology, 2021(1). https://doi.org/10.2981/wlb.00799

del Hoyo, J., Collar, N., Kirwan, G. M., & Sharpe, C. J. (2022, October 25). Guadalupe storm-petrel (Hydrobates Macrodactylus), version 1.2. Birds of the World. https://birdsoftheworld.org/bow/species/guspet/cur/introduction

Dickman, C. R., & Newsome, T. M. (2015). Individual hunting behaviour and prey specialisation in the house cat Felis catus: Implications for conservation and management. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 173, 76–87. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2014.09.021

Edge. (2019, June 19). Guadalupe storm-petrel. EDGE of Existence. https://www.edgeofexistence.org/species/guadalupe-storm-petrel/

Galbreath, R., & Brown, D. (2004). The tale of the lighthouse-keeper’s cat: Discovery and extinction of the Stephens Island wren (Traversia lyalli). Notornis, 51(4).

Hawai’i Department of Land and Natural Resources. (2025). Feral cats. Feral Cats. https://dlnr.hawaii.gov/hisc/info/invasive-species-profiles/feral-cats/#:~:text=Feral%20cats%20on%20islands%20have,kill%20approximately%202.4%20billion%20birds.

Loss, S. R., Will, T., & Marra, P. P. (2013). The impact of free-ranging domestic cats on wildlife of the United States. Nature Communications, 4(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/ncomms2380

McGregor, H., Legge, S., Jones, M. E., & Johnson, C. N. (2015). Feral cats are better killers in open habitats, revealed by animal-borne video. PLOS ONE, 10(8). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0133915

Medina, F. M., Bonnaud, E., Vidal, E., Tershy, B. R., Zavaleta, E. S., Josh Donlan, C., Keitt, B. S., Corre, M., Horwath, S. V., & Nogales, M. (2011). A global review of the impacts of invasive cats on Island Endangered Vertebrates. Global Change Biology, 17(11), 3503–3510. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2486.2011.02464.x

National Research Council. (1992, January 1). Scientific Bases for the Preservation of the Hawaiian Crow. U.S. National Library of Medicine. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK235935/

NOAA. (2024, August 29). Toxoplasmosis and its effects on Hawaiʻi Marine Wildlife. NOAA Fisheries. https://www.fisheries.noaa.gov/pacific-islands/endangered-species-conservation/toxoplasmosis-and-its-effects-hawaii-marine

Read, J. L., Dickman, C. R., Boardman, W. S., & Lepczyk, C. A. (2020). Reply to Wolf et al.: Why trap-neuter-return (TNR) is not an ethical solution for Stray Cat Management. Animals, 10(9), 1525. https://doi.org/10.3390/ani10091525

Reed, L. (2022). The effects of free-roaming cats on native wildlife populations. Wildlife Rehabilitation Bulletin, 40(1), 17–21. https://doi.org/10.53607/wrb.v40.250

Salano, E. (2024, October 5). Eliciting the effect free roaming cats have on Native Hawaiian wildlife using stable isotope analysis. UKnowledge. https://uknowledge.uky.edu/biology_etds/103/

Steele, J. H., Thorpe, S. A., & Turekian, K. K. (2009). Encyclopedia of Ocean Sciences. Academic Press.

science says it’s long past time to stop prolonging the suffering of feral cats, for the sake of the people, the native wildlife, and the goddamn cats themselves.

boundless-ennui

I was at a friend's house to check on carcasses I had macerating in his yard. A little grey cat ran up to me, yelling her head off in friendliness and wanting nothing more than to be pet. I had nothing to give her but let my friend know he should catch her since she was so friendly. I am ashamed to admit I didn't give her much thought beyond that, finishing my work and giving her a last pet before going home.

My friend told me how he'd seen her before but she always vanished before he could catch her. He works far too many hours and is always tired so he couldn't prioritize catching this cat.

Three months pass with no sign of her. I go back with my partner to check on carcasses and this same little grey cat appears. This time, however, a tooth has been snapped off and her tongue is so badly cut that she can't keep it in her mouth. She was thin and dirty and screaming to please be given some food.

This time I couldn't look away. I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow a cat carrier. She loaned me one and a tin of wet food that the grey cat willingly followed into the carrier. She didn't care at all about being put into the carrier - all she wanted was a hand on her. She'd arch up against the top just so my hand would rest on her back for a moment.

We drove through rush hour traffic to the only shelter still open. We knew we couldn't keep her and I couldn't stand the thought of putting her back out on the streets to die slowly.

The shelter couldn't take her. Her ear was clipped so she was a "community cat" and outside their ability to help. They tried desperately to offer alternatives to me as I cried over her carrier, knowing I couldn't take her home but also that if I didn't I couldn't live with the thought of her back on the streets.

I made a Hail Mary call to a local friend who is very connected in our city. They didn't have my number saved but answered all the same to hear me sobbing about a cat I'd found and to please help me find a place for her. Please. If I don't find something then she'll be alone on the streets again to die.

My friend came through. I could keep the cat in their garage overnight and in the morning my friend would be back in the city and could find someone to help the cat.

The shelter folk gave me a crate and some food - their hands were tied but they didn't want to leave me with nothing. They were good people doing the best they could in their own system. Community cats were ones they weren't allowed to "waste" resources on. Ostensibly they'd been dealt with and their fate decided. There was nothing the shelter folks were allowed to do for them.

I took the cat to my friend's garage. She was settled into a crate on towels, happy as a clam to be warm and safe. This was a cat made to be loved and to love, as she immediately began trying to groom one of my friend's roommates. He stayed in the garage with her, giving her food and water and in exchange having no say on whether she was in his lap or not. She was always in his lap.

Nobby Nobbs (so named for the only other character known to man that is as scrungly as she is) was then formally adopted by my friend. Her tongue has healed, her fur remains scrungly, and she's every bit the rabid love bug I suspected her to be when she came to me yelling to be pet.

She's a TNR cat. Someone thought they were doing her a kindness in that and if nothing else she didn't add kittens to the world but that doesn't negate the pain she suffered before I found her - the broken teeth, the lacerated tongue, the ulcerated cheeks, the flea-bald patchiness of her coat.

I say this as someone who adores this cat and has the privilege to see her loved and cherished: I wish she'd never had to suffer what she did. I wish people were alright making the harder call that leads to less misery on the side of the cats.

TNR is a polite fiction, nothing more. Just so the humans can pretend they've done right by the same cats they're letting loose to die miserably somewhere else. As long as the humans don't see it it's fine.

The shelter folks told me she's a community cat and that I could take her home and release her by my house. Then I could feed her myself and keep up with her and know where she was! I could still keep her, after a fashion.

I am not proud of how I snarled back that I would never exchange a quick death for a slow one. I would be giving her a different funeral plot, not giving her a life. Even near me she'd be just as vulnerable to the innumerable predators that find cats quite delicious, let alone cars and poisons and the other cruelties humans practice on stray cats.

She's the second stray cat I've met that when I held them the cat melted in my arms, purring and so desperately wanting to be loved. The first cat I was able to trap and take to a local shelter only to find when I called to check on him a day later that his health had been so terrible, so beyond help, that he'd been put down. All the love in that tiny body lost because the people I lived beside didn't care enough to trap the cats they had.

My partner was asleep. I woke her up to crawl into her arms and sob, my heart breaking for the stupidity of the humans who hadn't cared enough to grant this poor little cat the chance to be either an indoor cat, loved and cared for, or to grant him a quick death long before I met him. I've other stories of the cats they kept around, essentially feeding the poor souls to the predatory birds and wandering dogs that frequented our area.

TNR doesn't work. It is a lie humans tell ourselves so we can pretend we haven't failed these animals on a massive scale. Cats are invasive and cause massive harm in their turn. It is humanity who needs to deal with this crisis, this horror we've made, and I pray one day we look it square in the face and vow to make it right.