Nienna Weeps

Happy fan, beta reader, and occasional writer. Mostly lurking, some posting.

[imhereonthekitchenfloor]

based on a reddit thread: did the high school you attended have its own pool? and are you US American?

yes, american

no, american

I'm not sure, american

yes, non american

no, non american

I'm not sure, non American

too young and/or did not attend high school

Voting ended onMar 3, 2025

[victusinveritas]

It's almost like something happened in 2020-now that is causing these problems.

[weaselle]

ignoring everything the pandemic response specialists were saying was good for the economy tho. State governors and federal agencies with no medical experience and no economics education told us so

[small-witch-big-hat]

"no reliable data" What A Curious Coincidence. I Wonder What Might Have Been Happening In That Period To Cause Such a Thing

[bitchesgetriches]

Inspired by your tipping article, but can you provide some insight into tipping culture for things outside of traditional sit-down restaurants? Bc I always feel lost on if I should be tipping or not! My sister is a barista and makes actual money per an hour; my boyfriend is an exterminator and makes more than I do via a full time and part time corporate jobs. Both of their positions also include the option to tip, and I've seen it quite literally everywhere! When should you tip someone (in a non-sit down restaurant setting, although I've also seen the tipping option at fast food which baffles me)

This is a very amorphous area. And I'm willing to learn myself, so chime in, people!

The hard and fast rule is that anyone working in the service industry for minimum wage or less should be tipped. Otherwise it can be up to your own judgment.

Sit-down restaurant servers are the gold standard here. But the same goes for delivery drivers, rideshare drivers, bartenders, housekeeping staff, aestheticians, etc.

Personally, I also tip manual laborers like landscapers, the folks who delivered my washer and dryer from Costco, etc. Even if a restaurant tells you they rolled the tip into a standard 20% "service charge" on their receipt (WHICH I LOVE BECAUSE YAY NO MATH), I sometimes tip a few dollars extra. And I do mean dollars, as a server can collect that cash without declaring it on their taxes (not that we would ever recommend something so illegal).

What do you guys think? What are some other examples of stuff you should be tipping on? Stuff we shouldn't tip for?

If You Can’t Afford to Tip 20%, You Can’t Afford To Dine Out 

Season 4, Episode 11: “My Boss Kept My Tips. Is That Legal—or Did She Steal From Me?” 

Did we just help you out? Join our Patreon!

[swimmingblue]

I generally tend to tip well on stuff where a personal touch makes a difference. Like, a haircut, or a delivery guy, or whatever.

[loredwy]

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[would-you-punt-them]

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

[jeaninelatragedia]

holy shit.

[frustratedasatruar]

You're not really supposed to say it this way, because its considered crass, but here in the US children are culturally and legally considered essentially the property of their parents.

Note that its considered more crass to point this out than it is to treat children as property in the first place.

[swimmingblue]

Oh yeah, the Convention on the Rights of the Child says some stuff that's flat-out inflammatory for some Americans.

Like, kids have the right to freedom of expression! Kids have the right to freedom of religion! Children are entitled to access to media! Children are entitled to health care! Children are entitled to education!

[crippled-peeper]

“You think every citizen should have access to free and accessible healthcare?”

Wrong!!!

I think that Asylum seekers and Migrant workers and The Undocumented and Everyone Else should get free healthcare too

I love immigration

[crippled-peeper]

This one made the fascists and the racists really really mad. I get hate mail daily for this post

Imagine getting mad because someone else’s child’s chemotherapy doesn’t cost them 100,000$ .

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[swimmingblue]

and this is absolutely something to do. Especially as you get older.

[honourablejester]

I am deeply offended by this! I was reading thoughts on what D&D classes the characters of The Mummy (1999) would be, and there was a comment that Jonathan was obviously a rogue, but either a badly built one or one with shit dice rolls. And! Excuse you? Jonathan is a perfectly acceptable rogue! He rolls fine when he’s actually attempting to do something!

In the first movie alone, some of his greatest hits:

Successfully pickpocketed Rick on their first meeting, without Rick so much as joining the dots until later.

Survives a pitched battle on a burning ship without a scratch, and somehow gets the key from a burning hook-handed enemy mook in the process. (“And did I panic? I think not!”)

Survives a pitched battle in the Hamunaptra ruins while drunk, through liberal use of cover and picking off targets at range.

Rolls a Nat 20 on his deception check to avoid being massacred by a large group of hynotised enemies in the museum.

Survives the final pitched battle with the undead (again, through liberal use of cover, hiding and running).

Successfully makes his intelligence roll to translate the Book of Amun Ra (with the Help action from Evie).

Successfully uses the resulting control over the undead mooks to even out the battlefield, including the genius brain move of sending them after Ankh-Su-Namun to both save Evie and distract Imhotep.

Successfully pickpockets a lich while being strangled by him to regain the key and enable Evie to use the book to banish Imhotep altogether.

Yes, he’s fairly flimsy in direct battle, and if at all possible refuses to get to melee range with anybody. So he’s a ranged rogue, and has a tendency to use the environment to his advantage. But he’s clearly designed around Sleight of Hand, Charisma, and a decent sprinkling of Intelligence, and prefers to use object interactions and battlefield control to even out his odds. For all that, though, he fully will stay in melee range if he has no other choice, and take the opportunity to pickpocket the BBEG while he’s at it.

He's a perfectly serviceable rogue, he’s just not optimised for straight combat. And even there, as the second movie shows, he’s excellent at ranged combat. He just doesn’t like getting up close and personal.

[honourablejester]

Actually, going back and rewatching that final battle again ... I don't think that Jonathan stayed in range of Imhotep because he had no choice. He stayed in range specifically to pickpocket him.

I didn't realise before, but this whole battle starts with Evie telling Jonathan that the only way to kill Imhotep is to open the book and read the spell to banish him. Jonathan says it's locked, they need the key, and Evie then tells him it's in Imhotep's robes.

When Jonathan sends the priest mummies after Ankh-Su-Namun with the spell on the cover (saving both Rick and Evie in the process), Imhotep is coming right for him. However, Imhotep is then briefly disabled by watching the brutal murder of his lover all over again, and Jonathan ... could have run. There's a beat there where Imhotep is completely focused on something else, and Jonathan absolutely has the presence of mind to use that, but he doesn't. Imhotep, now incensed that Jonathan has murdered his lover, promptly spins back around and goes to murder him back, and is only stopped because Rick returns the favour from earlier and saves him.

At which point a lightly-strangled Jonathan stands back up and tells Evie he got the key.

He fucking stayed put on purpose because he knew they needed the key, that Imhotep had the key, and that he was the only person who could fucking pickpocket the BBEG mid-strangulation and get away with it, so long as someone could swoop in before the undead wizard actually killed him. Imhotep is immortal and immune to damage if they don't do something about that. This is a fight of attrition they cannot win. And his sister told him what they needed to stop it, so Jonathan went and got it.

He cheerfully calls himself a coward, and then he goes and fatally pisses off a lich as a distraction, and then stands still to be murdered for it in order to get close enough to pickpocket the immortal pissed off undead. It wasn't that he took the opportunity while being strangled, he set up being strangled in order to have the opportunity.

Say whatever the hell you like about that man, but he has never once failed to do something his family actually needed him to do.

[tenleaguesbeneath]

Given the movie's release date, it's not that he's a 5e rogue but not one optimized for melee combat, he's a 2nd-edition thief.

[swimmingblue]

See also, the original Mummy film takes place in 1926.

John Hannah, Jonathan's actor, was 36 when the Mummy was filmed. Assuming Jonathan is about the same age, he's have been 24 when World War One broke out. Which means that practically by default, he'd have been involved in the war in some capacity - quite possibly in a similar style to Lawrence of Arabia, given the rogue/thief vibes. I'd absolutely believe that Jonathan was seriously traumatized by the war (see the drinking), and also came out of it with a similar mentality to Phryne Fisher from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, who hasn't taken anything seriously since 1918.

Actually, that would make an interesting crossover. A lot of the earlier Miss Fisher stories take place in 1928, so if we put some (or all) of the Mummy gang on a trip to Australia after the events of the first film .... it'd be fun. For the audience.

[iamafanofcartoons]

This is exactly why so many Marvel movies feel completely interchangeable. They hire brilliant world-class actors and then force them to fit into a standardized, corporate assembly line

That’s pretty wild to tell the Asian martial artist his opinion on martial arts doesn’t matter

[swimmingblue]

And this is why most of the Marvel films are crap. Like, if you're going to hire talented actors, listen to their suggestions, especially when they're talking about their areas of expertise.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

Protip for men: if marriage is a horrifying concept for you and you think it is an evil trap, do not buy a ring and ask a woman to marry you

[curtis-ballard]

I’m way over seeing radical feminist bullshit on my dash. This isn’t even social justice or a real issue.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

sorry that not marrying someone you dont loathe is radical feminism i guess?

[celestial--fawn]

women: don’t propose or get married if u don’t like the thought of marriage

men: what kind of sjw fuckery

[lemonsharks]

the other bit that this implies is: If you like your wife, act like it. Even around your friends. Be open and honest about liking your wife, liking spending time with her, and not being resentful of the shared work of building a household. Let your buddies know you can’t hang out with them because you’d rather be home with your wife, whom you like, because she is your legit bff, even though you know your buddies are gonna mock you for it. Stand up to your buddies. Tell them mocking isn’t cool and you don’t want them to do it anymore. Challenge the other men in your life to be better men. That is what “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” implies to men who are married. And while it’s all completely reasonable I imagine that it’s scary as fuck when it’s just so much easier to har de har har the little woman’s such a nag, ain’t she, don’t we all hate being married so much? with other men. In that context, “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” is kindof a radical statement.

[goshawke]

The number of guys I work with who are engaged who started pulling the “uh oh, life over soon, har har” shit that I have completely shut down with a simple “well if you don’t want to get married, then don’t”…*sigh* And they’re just like, hem, haw, welllll if I don’t then she might not stay with meee, which I respond to with “well, sounds like you need to have a pretty serious and honest conversation with your fiancee about your feelings then” and then the *panic!* look…When you remove that easy “hah hah ball-and-chain” narrative, watch the reaction. Some of them (to a female friend) will mumblingly admit that they love their fiancee and are excited to be married. Others…all you get is fear.

That’s the disservice we do men by refusing to teach boys how to explore their emotional needs. It hurts everyone. I watched three male friends walk into marriages I can tell they weren’t ready for and didn’t want, just because it was expected and they had no tools for emotional self-examination. Two of those marriages are (shockingly) in crisis, a couple years later. One has kids involved now. It’s more than a little heartbreaking. The marriages I see that are working? Are the guys with the emotional maturity to talk to their wives and who don’t care if everyone knows they’re in love with them.

[violent-darts]

SERIOUSLY. 

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[onyxbird]

Uh oh, buddy, did you dip the entire baby in the good-at-soccer water? You didn't think ahead and leave, e.g., his heel, mediocre at soccer just in case?

[swimmingblue]

the baby looks so fucking nonplussed. Like, sure, this is going to be a thing that's happening. going to be photographed while a total stranger gives me a bath. Sure.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

So I've been learning French for a while and 'faire' is actually an incredible word. Like what a fucking breakthrough in economy of language.

Faire is a verb that is usually translated into English as "to do/to make," but it covers way more actions than that, which is very confusing for new speakers. because (I have realized) that's not really what faire means.

Faire is actually a word that just gestures vaguely in the direction of the object of the sentence and goes "you know." "Je fais du velo." "Je fais du courses." "Je fais mes valises." I'm biking. I go grocery shopping. I'm packing my bags. You're just sort of pointing at a bike and going "you know, the obvious thing you'd do with it."

English: "You mean RIDE it??"

French: "Sure whatever."

Like idk I just really enjoy the concept of a catch-all verb that you can just slap onto almost anything because who fucking gives a shit, you get the idea. There's a bike. what do you think I'm going to do with it.

[swimmingblue]

And English speakers have no room to talk about words with multiple meaning. English is rife with words that do a bunch of things.

[dothepropaganda]

punk isn’t just skinny. punk isn’t just perfect mohawks or aesthetically pleasing jackets. punk isn’t only listening to dead kennedys or black flag. punk is being an individual, having no respect for our fascist authority, sticking up for the little guy even if you are the little guy. punk isn’t just a look or a music scene.

[dothepropaganda]

i literally made this because nazis and the alt right can’t be punk

[maximum-hog]

Stop bringing politics into music genres lmao

[toothyblowjob]

stop bringing politics…….. into punk????

[risottoneroo]

Here’s Green Day, one of the most popular and well known punk bands.

Wait, but there’s MORE!

Wait, in case you weren’t convinced that the punk scene is political and is all about standing up against fascism and bullshit and racism that America is facing:

shut up. Punk is not just a fucking music genre.

[sw0rdfucker]

Ok I’m reblogging this again bc when I went to see green day, before they properly started playing they made us make a pledge, at the gig there is to be ‘No racism, no sexism, no homophobia, no donald trump’

[oneshortdamnfuse]

Punk has been political long before Green Day existed. The political history of the Punk scene(s) cannot be divorced from the music scene(s) that arose out of them. It is not just about music. It is not just about fashion. The stylistic choices made have meaning and are situated in a social/political context. 

That being said, it’s really important to acknowledge that Neo-Nazis didn’t infiltrate the Punk subculture for no reason. Absolutely, make it clear that Neo-Nazis are not welcome in The Punk Scene. However, part of doing that means confronting how they got there.

Punk music isn’t all about one political stance, though it’s commonly anti-authoritarian. Anyone can utilize the genre to promote their own ideologies, even if a popular intention of the genre is to be anti-authoritarian. Green Day is just one of many bands who use Punk music to spread their ideology. 

[valkyrie-the-lost-deactivated20]

It’s not just punk. Music has been used as a form of rebellion against oppression for a hell of a long time. Fuck, centuries even. The people who don’t get this have most likely never been oppressed in their life.

A few protest/”political” songs, and some about specific tragedies, from recent history, that aren’t just punk:

Zombie, The Cranberries

I Know A Place, MUNA

99 Luftballons, Nena

Beds Are Burning, Midnight Oil

Khe Sahn, Cold Chisel

I Was Only Nineteen, Redgum

The Greatest, Sia

Fuck Tha Police , N.W.A

Eve of Destruction, Barry McGuire

We Are The World, USA for Africa

Say It Loud (I’m Black and I’m Proud), James Brown

Big Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell (or more recently, Counting Crows)

Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen

Know Your Rights, The Clash

Holiday in Cambodia, Dead Kennedys

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, Gil Scott Heron

We’ve been doing this shit forever, it’s not new. War, racism, fascism, homophobia… if it’s harmed people, it’s been put into music. It’s an incredibly powerful medium that has changed the world before, and to say that politics, hatred, and tragedy shouldn’t be featured is, honestly, simply ignorant.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I cannot deal with the sheer level of numbskull-ery in a statement like “Don’t bring politics into music” as if this is some Silly Tumblr Fad and not something that’s been a thing for over a hundred years

[insufficiently-advanced]

bard is a combat class

[accio-rebels]

bard is a combat class

[swimmingblue]

music has been political forever. It's not new. It's why people in power have been trying to control it for so long.

[neuralmente]

[lukesqywalker]

#let’s play guess the endgame one more time 

[vampmissedith]

Okay you know what I was just gonna reblog this and say nothing but you know what, I’m pissed off and you wanna know why? Ted is a Nice Guy. I don’t mean a nice man, no. I mean the motherfucking “Nice Guy” who moans and complains about how women just won’t flock to him and be exactly who he expects of them. He knew from the beginning Robin wanted to focus on her career before marriage. He knew from the beginning she didn’t want kids. She rejected him time after time before they dated the first time. She rejected him time after time after that, for nine goddamn fucking years. His refusal to stop pursuing her, and accept she did not fucking love her, destroyed his relationship with Victoria TWICE. He is the whiny high school teenager bitching because the popular girl he obsesses over just isn’t into him. He is the goddamn Nice Guy, the kind whose every action, every so-called kind deed is done purely out of trying to get Robin to date him. Robin motherfucking Scherbatsky was an independent woman who not only relied on herself, but expected the men she wanted to be with to be independent and rely on himself, as well. She was career-minded and strong and independent and self-reliant. Those were the traits that doomed her and Ted. In this gifset we see that Ted did not respect Robin for who she was. He didn’t want her to be self-reliant—he wanted her to rely on him. He’s like so many men out there, so many Nice Guys. Baby, let me take care of you while you put me before everything else, You’re too independent, Robin. I need you to need me, I need you to rely on me. The reason they didn’t work out was because they both wanted and needed different things in relationships, and that’s okay—what isn’t okay is that instead of accepting that, Ted blames her. Tells her that SHE is the reason why they broke up, and something about her is WRONG. He insults her, tells her that her fundamental personality is wrong, and that she is why their relationship failed; that they they just aren’t compatible, no; because she is broken. She is so upset at this she goes to another ex. He’s the Jerk, you know; the guy who all the Nice Guys in the world call The Asshole. And you know what? You know what this Asshole does? He comforts her, he compliments her. He tells her that those traits, teh traits she’s been belittled and taunted over, the traits that make her broken, the reason why She Can’t Find A Man, are what make her wonderful. Barney loved her for her insecurities, and he supported her independence. He supported her self-reliance. In one scene, this Asshole prove to be far more accepting and mature than the so-called Nice Guy. So who do she end up with? Ted.

[univer-silly]

I really don’t give a shit to reblog it again.

[imperiumwife]

I have never seen something more true than this.

[swimmingblue]

And the thing is, it's not about how independent Robin is. It's about how the dude on the left kept trying to put her in a box, while the guy on the right respects and acknowledges her for who she is.

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[respectthefemalebody]

If a man says he’s going to hurt himself unless you do what he says, let him. You aren’t responsible for his actions. You are not guilty for what he does to himself, you don’t owe him, you are not his thing to control, you don’t exist to serve him, you are allowed to go on living your life.

[antiporn-activist]

well, you could give him the suicide hotline and go.

[lightanddarkkh]

Also you could baker act him. If he says hes gonna kill himself if you break up with him. Break up with him and call 911 saying you suspect this person at this address is going to kill themselves. Like chances are they are lying and trying to manipulate you but if you are scared and think you might feel guilty, you can do that.

Don’t stay woth anyone that pulls that shit. Drop em.

[swimmingblue]

And honestly, this is valid. Because all the options in this case aren't good.

Like, if someone is using a threat of suicide or self-harm as a tactic of coercion, then you need to GTFO, stat. That's seriously abusive. It's not far from this to threatening to hurt you, or actually hurting you physically.

If someone's sincerely unwell, and you believe that they're saying this because it's true and not as a threat to control you, then they need medical attention. The Baker Act thing is specifically for Florida in the US, but the basics of an emergency psychiatric hold are solid. Break up with them and then call emergency services and say that this person is threatening to kill themself. Hopefully they'll get picked up for an emergency psychiatric hold, which is (at least in Canada and the US) 72 hours. This sets them on the track to receive the care they need, and if necessary, gives you the time to GTFO of the situation.

Also I'm going to tag @bitchesgetriches on this b/c it seems like something their followers might be interested in.

[elidyce]

Today on ‘Someday I’ll Write’

An antagonist who never, ever, does anything illegal or even socially unacceptable. 

Like, imagine a Lex Luthor canny enough to realize that if you never technically do anything a) illegal, or b) that’ll really ruin your reputation socially, then you can’t get caught. They are 1000% an evil capitalist, but an evil capitalist who has never even gotten a parking ticket, has been faithful to their spouse for the last 20 years, carefully donates a small but socially acceptable amount to charity each year, and has a Creepily Intimidating Secretary whose secret job is not Murdering Annoying People, but hunting down lawbreakers within the organisation and firing them with extreme prejudice. 

And they’re one of the two suspects for the Terrible Conspiracy Of Corrupt Evilness and are shocked, SHOCKED, when they find out that they’re suspected. When the Hero finally makes it to their Luxurious Office Of Capitalist Evil, they explain that listen, *they* did not bribe the police, set off the bombs, etc, because that is ILLEGAL. 

Yeah, so? says the Hero.

Excuse me, I have never done anything illegal in my entire life. Amoral, yes, evil, yes, destructive to the environment, yes, but I do not do things that are ILLEGAL that is how you get CAUGHT. I don’t bribe people, I don’t destroy property without all the appropriate permits, I’ve never even had an affair!

… really?

Of course not, I’m very attached to my spouse. Also, scandals would damage my image and *I* have self-control. 

And it takes a while, but the Hero is reluctantly convinced that while Antagonist is an objectively terrible human being who doesn’t give a shit about humanity, the environment, or whatever, they are NOT the cause of the Hero’s current troubles. 

For bonus comedy, during the Dramatic Finale, the Hero dumps the requisite cute children on the Antagonist. “Here, take care of them, I’m leaving them in your charge.” 

“Why on earth would you - “ 

“Do I need to quote the legal obligations of an adult given responsibility for children by a parent or guardian? Somehow I don’t think I do.” 

“…. I hate you so much.” 

“Break your streak or take care of the kids, your choice.” 

When Hero returns, the children have been fed, tended, entertained, and are having a teaparty with Intimidating Secretary, while Antagonist is trying to buy and raze Hero’s house out of sheer pique. 

[swimmingblue]

and this would probably make for a more interesting story, because the villain has to work for it.

Like, doing Nefarious stuff would be a lot harder when you have to follow both the letter of the law and basic social mores. You have to put more effort in!

The Lex Luthor character also probably does a lot of things that are "good" because it's practical? Like, all Evil Corp. employees get excellent pay and benefits for 100% pragmatic reasons. If you want the best workers (which obviously this person does), then you have to pay them accordingly. Plus it's cheaper to give people a few sick days and good health benefits than just leaving them hanging. Evil Corps has an on-site daycare (free of charge)! Not only does it improve worker morale, but heroes are less likely to attack the base because there's kids there! Mwahahahaha!!

[bitchesgetriches]

My partner and I are dating and talking about marriage Someday™️, but neither of us are ready right now. Currently my partner and I split housing costs that he pays the rent and I pay utilities because he has a higher income than me.

I just unexpectedly inherited a house. The mortgage is less than our rent so we are going to move there. However it is very much my house, but I can’t afford the mortgage on my own even though it’s way less… do you have any advice on how to split finances? I’m not sure how to proceed here.

First off: condragulations! This is all very exciting.

I'll link to our advice on splitting finances below. But the basic advice amounts to this: have him pay you rent as a tenant. And that rent should be proportional to y'all's income. So for example, if your income is $100/month and his is $300/month, then his rent should be 2/3 of the monthly mortgage (nice round numbers for ease of mathing). Then just put his rent toward the mortgage.

When and if you get married, keep the monthly payments proportional with your income, but consider adding his name to the deed of the house. That way he'll have partial ownership. In the event of a divorce, he'll be entitled to a portion of the equity in the house. Or don't! You could keep it as an asset in your name alone. Just know that for the sake of fairness, a judge might require you to pay him out of the home equity if you ever get divorced.

Anyway, that's our advice! Here's more:

Season 4, Episode 2: “We’re Moving in Together but Don’t Plan To Get Married. How Can We Split Finances Fairly?” 

A Guide to Sharing Finances with Someone Other Than a Romantic Partner 

How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money? 

Did we just help you out? Join our Patreon!

[swimmingblue]

Honestly, knowing that you need a Plan(tm) is a good start.

I'd also recommend having an official document about rent, leases, etc. That way if something happens you have your ass covered in case things go south in your relationship. Better to work out the details now while you still like each other than have to do that on top of a messy breakup.

On a general note, I'd recommend keeping the house in your name, at least until you and your partner are talking marriage. It's again a question of ass-covering.