forget the horror here.

𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑛𝑜𝑤, 𝑖'𝑚 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈.

[krys4lis]

#KRYS4LIS,  an independent, selective and private  multimuse  featuring characters from fandoms such as smallville, veronica mars, g.ossip girl, oth and more.  established in july of 2023.  looked after by lily, she/her, 24.   disc.ord available to mutuals. lana sideblog: @missl4ng

a study in:  never feeling good enough,  being failed by role models,  swimming against one’s self-fulfilling prophecy,  scathing regret after head-banging against the same old brick wall  [...]  but also exhausted soft souls,  fingers dusting off scraped knees,  and sparkling hopeful eyes at a new day blooming over the lookout.

in heavy affiliation with ... @mastermicd ▹ @nosuperm4n ▹ @trvstbroken ▹ @unitedleader ▹ @venustrape

[paralyziingfears]

things  have  been  tense  between  them  as  of  late.  their  worlds  were  colliding  and  it  wasn't  meshing  as  well  as  he  had  hoped  for  the  both  of  them.  her  friends  constantly  poked  at  him  because  he  was  from  brooklyn  and  they  constantly  nagged  at  her  to  let  him  go,  that  he  was  too  beneath  her  to  be  with  someone  like  her.  it  hurt.  as  much  as  he  liked  to  pretend  other  people's  opinions  didn't  faze  him,  they  did  and  it  hurt  him.  he  tried  his  damn  hardest  to  be  someone  @krys4lis  would  like  to  walk  side  by  side  with,  someone  that  she  wouldn't  be  ashamed  to  admit  to  being  with.  could  he  ever  be  that  person?  he  wasn't  sure,  but  all  he  knew  was  to  be  himself  in  the  most  authentic  way  possible.

he  sat  next  to  her  during  lunch,  even  though  they  hadn't  talked  in  a  full  day   —   but,  who's  counting?  he  was  silently  eating  his  lunch,  unsure  if  she  even  wanted  to  speak  with  him  after  their  last  argument.  he  takes  a  bite  of  his  sandwich.

sometimes  when  i  talk,  everyone’s  so  busy  agreeing  with  me,  they  don’t  hear  a  word  i  say.  you're  different.

his  mouth  was  full,  but  his  brain  was  working  faster  than  his  teeth  could  chew.  he  tried  to  speak,  but  then  remembered  he  probably  should  swallow  his  food  before  attempting  to  do  so.  he  quickly  swallows,  choking  just  a  bit,  but  he  manages.  his  cheeks  blush  in  embarrassment.  ❛  sorry   —   ❜  he  apologized  once  his  mouth  was  free  to  speak.  he  wiped  the  back  of  his  palm  across  his  lips  in  case  there  was  any  breadcrumbs  leading  his  astray.  he  gave  her  a  small,  reassuring  smile,  yearning  to  reach  out  and  hug  her,  but  he  holds  back,  at  least  for  the  time-being.  ❛  if  there's  one  thing  you  can  count  on  with  me,  it's  that  i'm  always  going  to  tell  you  the  truth  ❜  he  told  her.  ❛  i'm  sorry.  i  never  meant  to  ...  i  didn't  mean  what  i  said,  i  promise.  i  want  to  be  that  person  you  can  talk  to,  serena.  ❜

[krys4lis]

one thing being lily van der woodsen's daughter guarantees is that your reputation is never really yours. it gets discussed, reshaped, dressed up, torn apart — usually without you in the room.

and somehow, somewhere along the way, she'd become the girl people called a flirt like it explained everything about her.

this…this is different, though.

a real relationship. or something that feels close enough to it. with someone she actually respects, someone who doesn't just orbit her world but pushes back against it. and somehow, that's more intimidating than anything else she's dealt with lately.

but then dan looks up, still a little flustered, still trying — and it makes it easier. it always does. ❝ it's okay if you did. mean it. ❞ she says it gently, but with a steadiness she didn't quite plan for. ❝ i'm trying to be better about that stuff anyway, so…i'll take it constructive feedback. specially when it comes from someone i trust as much as you. ❞ a beat. she stirs her salad, pretending that's the important part. ❝ and you are. you're just gonna have to be patient with me while i figure out how to do this whole…blunt honesty thing. ❞

her tone shifts lighter before she can overthink it. ❝ speaking of honesty…when are we telling our parents that we are deeply weirded out by them dating? because i feel like that conversation is not going to improve with time. ❞

@sliceofrapookie!

[notmorbid]

smallville: season 1 [1/3].

dialogue prompts from the first season of the wb's smallville.

you're never gonna get anywhere with your eyes closed.

kids don't just fall out of the sky.

i'm sick of hanging in there.

i can't believe you bet against your best friend.

that sounds like years of therapy waiting to happen.

didn't realize you had a dark side.

so what are you, man or superman?

sometimes people can surprise you. i think it's kind of cool.

so much bad luck came out of it. there can only be good luck left.

it's not written in any language known to man.

can you keep a secret?

i'm the fort knox of secrets.

you realize this is the longest conversation we've ever had?

i might save you a dance.

your father doesn't like me, does he?

i'm used to people judging me before they get to know me.

i thought if i punished them, it would stop. but it never stops.

sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

sneaking up like that, you're lucky you didn't get kicked.

i seriously doubt i'd forget meeting you.

____ dropped some breadcrumbs, and i followed the trail.

life is about change. sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful, but most of the time, it's both.

every town has its share of tall tales.

you can't blame yourself for something you had no control over.

you're not outgrowing me as a friend, are you?

you need to seriously decrease your cappuccino dependency.

the things i thought i knew for sure don't seem so certain anymore.

i've always enjoyed your unique sense of humor, but you can't be serious.

you just decided this out of the blue?

i just wanna click my heels and get back to reality.

you know perfectly well how i feel about you.

you're ruled by your emotions. you always have been.

just trying to get you to smile.

today is one of those days i just wanna scream.

my family wrote the book on uncomfortable silences.

i decided to put my personal politics aside to support my friends.

i can't figure out what you hate more: the fact that my plan works, or the fact that you didn't come up with it.

are you sure your eyes weren't playing tricks on you?

what happened to the girl who didn't care what people thought about her?

i told you what i thought you could handle.

what's your glitch? why do you keep staring at me?

____ wants me to be someone i'm not.

there's the person that everybody sees, and then there's the person who you wanna be.

once i hit 'take no prisoners' mode, it's kind of hard to turn it off.

you're feeling pretty good about yourself right about now, aren't you?

trust me, when i make things disappear, they stay buried.

what's wrong? why are you looking at me like that?

i can't believe you just delivered that line with a straight face.

for someone who wants people to keep an open mind, you're pretty quick to judge.

you always seem to understand what i'm trying to say.

you don't believe in magic?

don't just stand there. come in.

life's a journey. i don't want to go through it following a road map.

the only person who controls your destiny is you.

it's hard when everyone knows your tragedy. they treat you differently.

you can fear the future, or you can embrace it. the choice is yours.

you think i'd ever leave you alone?

i lived when i should have died. there must be a reason for that.

i don't want to do good things. i want to do great things.

i could be your escort. fend off the throngs of adoring fans.

i stopped believing in happy birthdays a long time ago.

i bet you're braver than you think.

i'm starting to get the feeling that you don't trust me.

it's been a long time, but i never forget a face.

this is no time for mock heroics.

what kind of man sends his own kid to do his dirty work?

i'm just trying to get better.

you almost got yourself killed.

[driverseats]

❛ note . give my muse a note saying : [ luke just checked out your jeans from above his greasy notepad. again. either you do something, or i will start a petition in city council to lock you two in a dark closet and throw the key to where kirk can't reach it. your move, gilmore. ] . / from zoe to lor <3 she's a pain and she knows it

" what just happened, are we back in middle school ? " stopping in the middle of a conversation to write a note will get that reaction out of her. lorelai's confusion doesn't waver as zoe jots down the message & before she knows it, there's a note in her hand. " ooh. " now, she's intrigued. so much secrecy & mystery going on & it's not even noon – never a dull moment. she opens the piece of paper, only squinting zoe's way for a second before shifting her attention to the written words. well, she got her answer – it's about a boy ! middle school. it doesn't mean she's not smiling by the end, filled with that new relationship feeling where even the notion of catching your person's eye sends electricity through you. there's a pause, a stolen glance between her & luke & then, she shifts her gaze back to zoe with a shameless grin. " bring on the dark closet. " of course she's not doing anything. broad daylight... afternoon rush... hello ? they've just started tiptoeing past the friendship line. zoe just happens to be among the very few who already know. but leaping across the counter & having her way with luke by the coffee maker would be wildly unproductive if you ask her. still, it's her duty to give her inner circle the details. so, she plucks the pen out of zoe's hand & flips the paper over, lips puckered up to keep herself from smiling to death. a few scribbling motions later, she slides the note back:

we're going out tonight.

@krys4lis | meme

[krys4lis]

❝ it really does feel like middle school around here sometimes, doesn’t it? ❞ zoe sing-songs, eyes sparkling with mischief as she props her chin against the counter and waits for lorelai's reaction like she's watching her own private rom-com matinee.

and wow, there it is — the smile. full wattage. if this were a john hughes movie, this would be the part where the soundtrack kicks in and somebody freezes mid-hallway carrying textbooks. except zoe distinctly remembers those movies being a lot less sexually charged.

❝ just do me a favor and give me a warning before the two of you finally combust and take half the diner with you. ❞ she takes a sip of coffee, because as happy as she is for lorelai, the mental image of luke danes looking at someone like that before noon is a lot to process on an empty stomach.

the note slides back into her hands, and instantly the giddy outweighs the psychological damage, ❝ oh yeah? that's odd. i half-expected to find you buried under a pile of potential outfits this morning. ❞ her voice drops slightly as she glances around the diner, careful not to alert the town surveillance network, ❝ so are we talking casual date night…or cancel tomorrow morning's plans attire? ❞

[krys4lis]

as your best friend, i have to step in. blair/serena

❝ do you, blair? or can you just not help yourself when the opportunity comes to kick me when i'm down? ❞ it comes out sharper than she means it to. like it's already been sitting there, waiting for the wrong moment to spill.

and maybe it has. because ever since she came back from boarding school, there's been this feeling she can't quite shake — like blair looks at her differently now, sometimes. like her being back is messing with something she doesn't fully understand. despite how ridiculous that sounds for two people who are supposed to be best friends.

it's probably not fair to think like that. and still, it's there.

❝ what is so wrong about me trying new things? about not wanting to be messy old serena anymore? ❞ her voice tightens, frustration bleeding through before she can smooth it out. ❝ being around dan and his family…it's given me perspective. on things that matter and can't be bought, blair. things we've spent years pretending didn't exist. ❞ a beat. she exhales, but it doesn't really land. ❝ and considering how many times you've come to me upset about your mom wanting you to be someone else, you should understand this better than anyone. so why are you pushing back so hard on this? ❞

@crysta1visions!

[duquete-a]

🎁    spotify  wrapped  starter.      still  accepting.  

"i’m  not  givin'  up    [...]    not  yet."      no  matter  how  tempting  it’s  been  at  times.  body  aches,  muscles  wasting.  every  time  they  take  a  defibrillator  to  his  chest,  the  shocks  take  another  piece  of  him  away.  five  years  of  fighting  had  left  him equal  parts  exhausted    &    humiliated,  but  meeting  izzie  has  changed  things.  changed  him.  her  presence  here,  at  his  bedside,  gave  him  back  something  he  thought  he’d  lost:    a  purpose.  hope.  it  feels  unfair  to  put  that  responsibility  on  her  shoulders  and  a  part  of  denny  knows  that.  a  better  man  might  stay  away.  might  ignore  that  selfish  need  to  keep  her  close    /    keep  her  his  and  let  her  go,  like  he  did  his  family.      ⸻      but  he  can’t.  he  isn’t  strong  enough.      "even  when  i’m  down  to  my  last  breath,  or  even  when  they  say  there’s  nothing  left.."      hand  reaches  out  for  hers,  cold  touch  seeking  warmth  as  thumb  brushes  over  smooth  skin.  he  needs  her.  he  thinks  she  might  need  him  too.      "i’m  not  going  down  that  easily,  so  don’t  give  up  on  me."

@defygrav1ty:    don’t  give  up  on  me  by  andy  grammer.    for  izzie  stevens.

[krys4lis]

in a way, she felt dirty, for how relieved she was by those six-ish words for someone who prided herself on her scrabble skills, not being able to hold onto something as simple as a number felt strangely humbling.

she shouldn't care this much. her heart shouldn't jump like that every time she looked at him. it wasn't professionally appropriate, and it definitely wasn't smart — but it did. and she was past the point of pretending he didn't make her the happiest she'd ever been. because if there was anything izzie had learned from meeting denny, it was that there wasn't a second to waste when you're with the one you love. no matter the cost.

dark chocolate hues look down at their hands, intertwined — and for a second she lets herself just feel the weight of it. people might think she was the one keeping him alive, but she wasn't entirely sure that was the full story. ❝ i won't. ❞ her voice lingers under the steady beeps of the monitor, that familiar sound she'd learned to track like a second pulse. it steadies her more than she'd ever admit. her other hand settles over his, squeezing gently as she finally looks at him, ❝ you're stuck with me. whether you're sick of me eating all the spring rolls or not. ❞ a smile dances on her lips, and she prays to whatever's up there that she can coax that charming, impossible smile of his out of him too.

@duquete!

[everlarrk]

get to know me meme - 10 favourite TV shows

1/10 - Greys Anatomy | s2 ep25 "17 Seconds"

[nosuperm4n]

❛ this is why i'm only friends with women. / from helen this is so FUNNY

sentence starters / the sharpness of her male colleague’s tone caught clark off guard, the rudeness slicing through the room like a cold wind. as he stood nearby, accidentally eavesdropping, a flicker of discomfort tightened his chest. at her dry remark, the boy raised his brows in surprise— part disbelief, part concern. he couldn’t keep the question from escaping his lips, voice low but edged with genuine curiosity and sympathy: " — do you really put up with that every day? "

[krys4lis]

it was sad, but true: helen had gotten used to the dismissiveness. the way her frustration became background noise to most of the hospital staff, acknowledged only by the occasional sympathetic nurse. imagine her surprise when a teenage boy cared enough to actually notice.

no wonder lex liked keeping clark around. the kid had more empathy than half the adults in kansas combined.

she glances up from her chart, the simple feeling of being validated softening her expression into a small smile. ❝ it comes with the territory. in a perfect world, my life could exclusively revolve around helping people and tasting your mother's pies at half price thanks to the friends and family discount, but i try not to let one jerk ruin the whole profession for me. ❞

helen exhales softly through her nose before deciding she's probably dumped enough existential frustration onto a high schooler for one afternoon. ❝ but enough about my everyday battles with male ego. what brings you here, clark? is there anything i can help you with? ❞

[paperlorearchive]

the brunette leaned against the wall, mocha hues falling shut for a second. she is exhausted, to put it simply. it is funny how lexie used to think being an intern was the most exhausted she would be. well, neurosurgeon lexie would beg to differ. it is only when she smells vanilla that her eyes dart open, seeing @sn4pshots walking into the attendings' lounge. ❝ please tell me i can have one of those. i'll even trade you my cheetos for it. ❞

[krys4lis]

being a doctor had its perks, but izzie was pretty sure holding a scalpel wasn't the only way to breathe life back into somebody. every time she perfected a recipe, got the sweet-to-salty ratio exactly right, or felt the top of a muffin crumble perfectly between her teeth, something inside her woke back up a little.

sure, none of that mattered if you didn't have a pulse — but you could have one and still be miserable. it was scientifically impossible to eat one of her vanilla cream rolls and not feel overjoyed for at least a few seconds.

a prideful smile tugs at her lips, ❝ there's no need. it's nice finding someone around here who respects the life-changing power of good baking. why should appreciation require sacrifice? ❞ the blonde holds out not one, but two rolls toward lexie. ❝ long day down at shepherd training bay? ❞

[legacieas]

✱ starter call :   currently not accepting ──── jake jagielski for peyton sawyer, @krys4lis.

jake glanced up from the counter of the café when the bell above the door rang, immediately spotting peyton stepping inside with rain clinging to her jacket and that familiar exhausted look in her eyes.

he dried his hands on the towel over his shoulder before walking around the counter toward her. “ you look like you’ve had a worse day than usual, ” he said softly, already reaching for the coffee pot beside him. “ which probably means you’re getting the good coffee instead of the burnt stuff. ”

[krys4lis]

granted, peyton had never been very good at hiding the whole perpetually-annoyed thing. that would've required actual effort, and most days, all her energy went into blasting music loud enough to drown herself out and sketching feelings she didn't know how to explain out loud. there wasn't much left after that for smiling on command.

then again, it wasn't like many people whose opinions she actually cared about had complained. other than brooke, whenever she needed a partner in crime to go raise hell somewhere. but that wasn't happening anytime soon.

one door in the shape of a decade-long friendship closes, a window to a kind smile and decent coffee opens. peyton had no clue why jake seemed to care enough to notice when something was wrong, despite her bad rep and general raincloud aura, but his smile had a way of making things feel a little lighter.

❝ tell karen to count my vote for jagielski as employee of the month. generous tip included. ❞ the corner of her mouth twitches faintly as she slides onto one of the stools, arms folding across the counter, ❝ thanks, jake. brooke's still icing me out, and it sucks, you know? but it's not like i can do much besides wait for her to stop wanting to murder me. until then, please tell me you need a babysitter or something equally distracting. ❞ a beat. ❝ actually, where's jenny? i don't hear keys jingling around back there. ❞

[krys4lis]

“ just because people do horrible things, it doesn't always mean they're horrible people. “ izzie! <3

❝ no, but it does mean they're setting up a dangerous precedent. ❞ it's said without blinking, without hesitation — like it's not even up for emotional interpretation, just fact. in izzie's experience, people liked to believe they were more in control than they actually were. but most of the time, it was just routine. rinse, repeat, justify, repeat again.

you make one wrong choice, and suddenly you're not someone who made a mistake — you're just someone who keeps making that same mistake until it starts looking like you.

her gaze flicks briefly to the attending (and her annoyingly chic salmon scrubs) before she adds, ❝ who are we talking about here? it's gonna be a long night of watching the babies, so i just wanna make sure my advice is actually useful — you know, situation-relevant. ❞

[othladies]

PEYTON SAWYER ONE TREE HILL | 1.11 “The Living Years”

[boatbuilt]

starter for @krys4lis ↪ lena & helen

"you, again." lena has barely lifted her eyes from the papers she was signing when helen walks in her office, knowing the other wasn't going to just stand there. sometimes she wishes she could just make her brother's puppies disappear. "lex's not here. probably won't return." she wants to say ever, if she knew it would make helen never disturb her peace again. "i'd say sorry for making all the way down here but i am not." and a smile, at last. it isn't friendly though.

[krys4lis]

❝ you really think i'm just a brainless bimbo, don't you? ❞ helen wasn't exactly known for wearing her heart on her sleeve, but lena's constant dismissal was starting to wear thin. mostly because she knew how important it was to lex that they get along — and if lena cared even half as much as she did, they'd probably be having tea instead of this passive-aggressive standoff.

so she forces herself to ignore the bite hidden beneath lena's smile and tries, once again, to meet her halfway. ❝ trust me, i know what it's like to be underestimated as a woman in a room full of powerful men. and if your issues with anyone who dates your brother didn't get in the way, you'd see that hardly makes us enemies — quite the opposite. ❞

[sithkylor]

Best of Logan Echolls, season 1 edition 

[variations]

❝  it's nothing you need to worry about. ❞

@krys4lis, helen & lex.

[krys4lis]

❝ is that your best attempt at comfort? 'cause, if so, i have to admit, i expected more from you, lex — both as a renowned casanova, and a born strategist. ❞ her words are dipped in sarcasm, a polished shield against the slow ache building underneath. she knows him. knows the signs when he's getting pulled too deep into one of his obsessions, his paranoia spiraling quietly behind carefully controlled expressions. more than anything, she wants to save him from himself, his own worst enemy, but she can't do that if he keeps her at a safe distance from any real vulnerability. ❝ you can downplay my role as your partner all you want, but don't insult my intelligence. i know there's something going on. what i don't understand why you feel the need to shut me out of it. ❞ whatever it was, she'd stand by him — hadn't she made that clear by now?

[soulwaned]

❛❛   what   do   you   think   they're   talking   about, @krys4lis?   ❜❜         fingers   clutched   at   the   chart   in   hand   as   she   leaned   forward   some   against   the   nurses'   station   where   several   of   the   other   interns   were   gathered   around,      and   yet   all   attention   was   directed   toward   the   closed   conference   room   where   it   seemed   like   every   attending   was   gathered.         they'd   been   sent   on   their   rounds   but   it   was   difficult   to   ignore   the   very   obvious   elephant   in   the   room   and   that   was   that   something   was   clearly   going   on      -      but   meredith   hadn't   been   able   to   figure   out   what   it   was   yet.      no   one   was   talking,      and   the   curiosity   was   mounting   with   every   single   pass   made   by   the   room.            

[krys4lis]

❝ it could be anything from a very heated debate over who has the shiniest hair to who needs their ass kissed most urgently. only time, and bailey's snarl, will tell. ❞ izzie watches the conference room like it's silent television, absently picking apart a stale cafeteria croissant. one of the perks of not having a scandalous love life was not having to worry about your personal drama getting dissected in a staff meeting.

a perk meredith never seemed to enjoy for more than, what, four days at a time?

her gaze flickers towards her friend, hip resting against the counter. ❝ why? you think they're in there discussing whether to give salmon-scrubs satan a permanent position? i thought things were going pretty smoothly with veterinarian guy. ❞

[mecwmellc]

@lovethcrn sent "i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine. / izzie to alex abt denny?"

alex shook his head. "izzy, i don't think you are. you spent hours on the bathroom floor in your prom dress, not getting up. i don't think someone who simply lost a patient would do that," he said. he knew grief was a weird thing and going through this internship had only emphasized that. people had all sorts of reactions to hearing that their loved one hadn't made it, whether it was out of surgery or it had been too late to save them. but he had to admit that staying in a bathroom of all places was something he hadn't seen before. alex knew that izzy and meredith needed their space so he let them talk, giving izzy privacy until she had approached him just now. "i know bailey isn't your favorite person right now but i think you should talk to her. you're not gonna be making muffins for the rest of the year, are you?" he asked.

[krys4lis]

if stating the obvious were an art, alex would be world-renowned by now. as if she could forget, the feeling of being trapped in her own body — watching everyone come in and out of that bathroom while she just … stayed there, unable to move, barely even breathing.

no matter how hard she tried to freeze time, to avoid having to deal with denny being gone, the world kept spinning anyway. cruelly. normally. like nothing had happened at all.

❝ i never said i simply lost a patient. ❞ her back still turned to him, hands buried deep in fresh cookie dough. it kept her grounded, even if just for a moment, safe from the haunting image of denny lying motionless in that hospital bed, alone. ❝ it's over for me, alex. face it. even if i was allowed to be within thirty feet of a patient again, i...i don't know if i could do it anymore. ❞ she walks to the crowded island, holding out the spoon toward him almost automatically, ❝ taste test? please? i think my tongue's gone numb from all the sugar. ❞