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[kungpowpenis]

I’m sorry I only noticed your beautiful finger

And how even your scars were like that of a tigers

Im sorry I spoke about my love of zebras and my ignorance of what it meant to be a pimp

You had your heart in your hands, which I had never understood or would understand

My first so I assumed it’d be my worst, not worth attaching any hurt

But attached I still became

through the bars of my cage you held out your heart in your hands and I shrunk small enough to escape

[kungpowpenis]

A waste of a brain

The monkey that thinks it is an ape

Cotton hoodies and acne ad sweatpants

I should go outside today

[kungpowpenis]

Empty bucket head

Only thing to fear is fear itself

Bad parent good wallet

Grey zone of love and neglect

[kungpowpenis]

Obviously I need to quiet abusing substances

Obviously I need to set and follow a cleaning schedule

Obviously I need to make my noise and talk my shit

Obviously I need to break the cycle

[kungpowpenis]

Why am I playing the note they want

How much longer will I stay in mental hiding

I fear I am running on sand

I’m afraid to sink

I’m afraid I’ve done too much again

[kungpowpenis]

It’s horrible

My chest tightens

I’m attempting to slow my breath but I need to be enclosed

I want my four walls, a ceiling and a floor

I make it up in my head because this is a job

I actually need money, I don’t actually need the luxury of privacy

Not like privacy even exists or ever did

I make it through another trigger that feels narcissistic of me to even have

No one touches me unless I allow but occasionally I am touched again because I am unsure of how to set boundaries and I still reject being diagnosed with ptsd.

I’m not a victim I’m not a victim I’m not a victim I’m not a victim I’m not a victim

I whisper this sentence to myself… occasionally it helps

[kungpowpenis]

Legs

She is nowhere to be seen

I dream about dressing her in pretty and expensive things

[kungpowpenis]

Disgusting myself again

Mongrels to fresh meat

I am no different than my enemy

I am no different than anything

Consumerism being leaned into just feels wrong

I want to “express” more of what I can feel but must it be through labour

Can I express without buying, wearing, styling, hanging, taping, posting, commenting or speaking.

My smoking habits are concerning but hey it’s not coke anymore

I’m always early, like a hopeful dog, waiting at a door

[kungpowpenis]

Telling you what you already know

Pills rain from the waves below

Estranged lovers gone cold

My lips, my tongue, my gold

[kungpowpenis]

I wonder how I’ll taste

I wonder if my bones will break

Maybe I’ll be fossilized and be admired by bigger minds in a future date

When I wrap my motorcycle around a pole on the highway

Butterflies will eat away the decomposition on my face

[kungpowpenis]

Showers till my skin steams

Red as can be

Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning

Eucalyptus leaves and orchid seeds

Haagan-das vanilla bean ice cream

Big fuzzy bathrobe of ivory

Cowboy be bop or Evangelion or bleach

Maybe I’ll get drunk and dance to chief keef

I’m just so happy I’ve cut out everybody

[kungpowpenis]

I am plastic cake

Fake fruits in a bowl shaped hole in the table

Poxy coating encases me for eternity

I will never speak and I will never feel anything

Unfortunate how the world looks at things differently

Just nightmares and cold sweating

Just stress migraines and blood letting

It’s just customer service I have no idea who I am or what I’m saying

[kungpowpenis]

I’m scared of what I’m ignoring

[kungpowpenis]

Hesitation is defeat

Walking leisurely till my feet bleed

Acceptance is sweet

I’m coming out of this even if that’s not today

[kungpowpenis]

Jingling keys

Distract me please

I am bruised from thinking what isn’t and what could be

[kungpowpenis]

Bio luminescent lilies

Orchid trees hugging orchid trees

The symptom is a solution to an old problem he said

I’m not there anymore in body but i never left in my head

[kungpowpenis]

A trumpets lips pout, mmm

Kissy frog Prince too young for his clout

Like a meatball

I’ve been lost in the sauce awaiting a savoury saviour, glistening diamond rock salt

Woe are these pretty blue eyes of mine

Far too pretty for I and the imbalanced chemicals in my mind

I’d take the buttons if I was coraline because the colour options