suguru and satoru accidentally find your sex tapes ˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀
“We’re just gonna go through some old boxes in the garage,” Suguru said, tying his hair back as Satoru went digging through a cabinet to find your trash bags.
“Okay,” you agreed. “I’ll start working on dinner.”
“Thanks, babe.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and waited for Satoru to catch up before he walked out the side door.
“I’ll be inside if you guys need anything,” you called out sweetly, watching your fiance and his best friend go out to the garage.
“Can’t believe you guys are moving,” Satoru sighed as soon as you shut the door. “Promise you won’t forget about me!”
“You’re so dramatic,” Suguru rolled his eyes, leading the two of them to the garage. “We’re just switching neighborhoods.”
“Might as well be moving across the country,” Satoru shook his head.
Suguru snorted. “Right. It’ll be, like, a five minute difference from your house.”
“Too long if you ask me,” he insisted.
“Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for helping out,” Suguru said when they finally reached the garage, immediately walking over to a daunting pile of cardboard boxes. “Just gotta sort these out.”
“Anytime,” Satoru knelt near a box sticking out on the side, going to inspect the label. “Man, 1985?”
Suguru sighed, he himself finding a box labeled 2001. “This was her cousin's house. Guess she never went through some of the boxes.”
“It’s all good,” Satoru smiled, standing up. “We can start with the ones we know are yours, and then she can help you with her cousin’s boxes?”
Suguru nodded. “Yeah, thanks. I know these ones are ours.”
He pointed to the boxes on the left. They were more recent than the other boxes, but still dusty and smelled a little strange.
With that, they got to work.
Suguru started with a box labeled ‘fish,’ finding an old fish bowl and accompanying decorations.
“Man, I don’t remember her ever owning a fish,” Satoru said, the nosy bastard.
“Me neither,” replied his friend, shaking his head while placing the entire box on the corner of the driveway. “This can be our donation pile.”
“Roger that!” came the reply.
Satoru decided to start with a box labeled ‘gardening,’ finding exactly what you would expect– a watering can, shovels, gloves, and a few small flower pots.
“Why’s this in storage?” he asked curiously. “Doesn’t she like to garden?”
Suguru peeked his head up from over the pile of boxes, shrugging when he saw the gardening tools. “Guess she didn’t know we had these and bought new tools. We can donate those.”
His friend hummed, picking up the box and carrying it over to the donation pile.
The two spent the next hour sorting through boxes, finding things to keep, donate, and throw out. They found all sorts of things, ranging from a Wii-U to a box of old stamps. And, luckily, Satoru only got spooked by one spider.
Eventually, they had made their way through most of the boxes, only being left with a few unlabeled ones.
Suguru knelt next to one, opening it to find some old linens.
“Open one of those, would you?” he asked.
Satoru cut one open, finding a bunch of DVDs inside. “Aww, cool! Do you guys have a DVD player?” he asked, holding up an old copy of the Princess Bride.
“Might have one in the back of the car,” his friend shrugged, busying himself with assessing the quality of the linens.
Satoru, of course, took the entire box of DVDs to the car to see if they were good.
He dug through the box, taking out a copy of White Chicks, before something caught his eye.
At the bottom of the box, he found several unlabeled DVDs that looked like they were made at home.
“Yo, Suguru!” he called out. “What are these?”
He heard a sigh. “What do they say?”
“Nothing,” he answered, flipping them all around to check all sides for labels. “They’re blank.”
He heard another sigh before footsteps approached the car. Suguru took one of the discs out of Satoru’s hands and inspected the whole thing, not having any clue what it was.
“Not sure,” he said, opening the case. “You can put it in the player, if you want.”
Of course, Satoru jumped at the opportunity, quickly putting the disc into the player and clicking play.
Both boys sat in silence for a moment, waiting for the old player to catch up to the DVD.
Finally, the screen turned on, showing a Suguru from a few years ago adjusting the camera.
“Is it on?” your timid voice could be heard from behind him, and the current Suguru tried to figure out when this could have possibly been from.
“I don’t remember making this,” he said, eyebrows furrowed as he waited for whatever would happen next.
“Yeah. Are you ready?” video Suguru asked.
“Ready for what?” Satoru asked, and his question was quickly answered when video Suguru stepped away from the camera, which was set up on a bed, to reveal a half dressed Suguru and a very naked you.
“Woah!” Satoru exclaimed but didn’t immediately look away. “You didn’t tell me you made sex tapes!”
“I didn’t know this was a sex tape! Besides, why the fuck would I tell you about our sex life?” Suguru hissed, trying to turn the player off.
But of course, the player was old and laggy, and therefore didn’t turn off immediately.
“I don’t know! How could you not remember this?”
“I don’t fucking know!” Suguru almost yelled, still trying to get the player to turn off. “Stop staring at my fiancee’s tits!”
“I can’t help it!” Satoru absolutely could help it, but he was a pervert, so of course he didn’t look away when the video shifted into Suguru’s hand as you crawled on top of him.
“Dude!” Suguru groaned, heavily contemplating just breaking the damn player so it would turn off.
“Alright, alright!” Satoru looked away, but that didn’t help much when he could still hear every noise clearly.
“‘M gonna fucking…” Suguru muttered, only relaxing when the stupid player finally shut itself off.
The two sat in silence for a moment, only moving when your voice called out from the kitchen, summoning them inside for dinner.
“Don’t say a fucking word.” The dark haired man warned.
Satoru nodded dumbly, not making any promises.
As expected, dinner was as awkward as it could get.
You did your best to make conversation, trying to figure out where the tension came from as the two picked at their stir fry.
“Did you guys find anything interesting?” You asked, and Satoru choked on a piece of broccoli.
“Found a fish bowl,” Suguru said dryly. “You had a fish when you were a kid?”
“Oh my gosh! Yes, I won a goldfish from a carnival when I was like five. Didn’t know I still had it.”
You smiled fondly at the memory, your expression shifting to concern as you noticed Satoru downing his water like it would save his life.
“Are you okay, Satoru?” you asked. “Is the food not good?”
“He’s fine.” Suguru answered for him. “He got spooked by a spider earlier and is just embar–”
“We found your sex tapes!” Satoru blurted out, only to be met with a glare from Suguru and a shocked expression from you.
“What?” You asked, turning to your fiance. “What sex tapes?”
He sighed reluctantly. “We found them in a box with movies.”
“Oh,” you said, looking back to see Satoru’s head down on the table, ears a bright pink. You turned back to Suguru.
“I don’t remember making any sex tapes.” You said.
“They’re a few years old,” he muttered. “I don’t remember making them, either. We were probably high.”
“Makes sense,” You nodded, taking note of how mortified they both looked.
“You guys didn’t…watch them, did you?”
They both went silent and your smile dropped.
“What?! Why would you watch our sex tapes with Satoru?” Your face was now warm, too.
“They were unlabeled!” Suguru said defensively. “We just wanted to see what they were.”
That made you relax a little.
“Well, you only watched the beginning, right?” you asked hesitantly.
“...The player wouldn’t turn off.” Suguru winced as he answered.
“Seriously?” you groaned. “Gosh, I’m sorry, Satoru. You didn’t need to see that.”
“Mm.” he said in response and Suguru scoffed.
“Don’t apologize, the pervert liked it.”
You sighed and muttered, “Of course he did.”
“Hey, what does that mean?” he pouted.
“Nothing,” you smiled. “Let’s just forget about it, and next time you guys find anything unlabeled, I’ll take care of it, okay?”
Both men immediately agreed and went back to eating.
“...Or you know, we could make our own new tape and label it?” Satoru offered.
He shrugged. “Worth a shot.”
