kwritingbooks

26, i write harry fics This Was Home and Starboy on Wattpad now!

[kwritingbooks]

basics

↬ about me

i’m kennedy, she/they, 24, and yes i’m a gemini. if you have any questions you’d like to know about myself feel free to ask me here!

wattpad account

↬ request rules {currently CLOSED}

no minors requesting smut/nsfw scenarios

i enjoy writing dark/angst content but there are some things that will be an automatic no

automatic no to: anything non-consensual, age-play, characters underage, incest, racism, watersports, self harm, eating disorders, larry, ot5

i also reserve the right to deny requests involving things that aren’t listed, as i’m sure this list will grow

↬ request prompts masterlist

i am accepting requests outside of this masterlist too

writings

★ =angst // ♡=fluff // (m)=smut // bold=series

↬ [THIS WAS HOME] (m) ★ ♡ ; ongoing fic ; harry x brinley meet in an apocalyptic AU world where there are creatures called crawlers lurking at night

↬ [JEALOUSY] ★ ; FINISHED trilogy ; y/n decided to end the 3 year relationship with harry, but is filled with different emotions when he finds a new girlfriend in 3 months. what is she willing to do?

↬ [STARBOY] (m) ♡ ★ ; ongoing fic ; harry x aurora meet under odd circumstances. harry lives among the stars, unknown to aurora as he casts down on earth in his human form

↬ [BE EASY ON YOURSELF] ♡ ; “let me wash your hair for you, okay?” – harry watching you come out of your depression and smile again

↬ [COMPOSURE] ★ ; “i think we need some time apart.” – harry doesn’t know if he wants the relationship anymore

↬ [ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE] ♡ ; “you are the peace i crave in this chaotic world.” — you and harry go to the aquarium for the first time together

↬ [PINK FAIRY LIGHTS] ★ ♡ ; “when was the last time you slept?” – you haven’t slept in some time and you call on harry, your typical hookup

↬ [SPICED CHAI LATTE] ♡ ; harry’s not fond of coffee but decides to give it another chance. he soon becomes a regular as he begins to develop a crush on the barista

↬ [THREE YEARS] ★ ; “in my dreams, we’re still together.” — where y/n has fallen out of love and harry is tired of fighting for them

↬ [IMPOSTER SYNDROME] ; your new CEO seems to take a liking to you for some reason, even with all your other coworkers’ eyes on him at the same time

↬ [STORM’S CALLING] ★ ; your phone’s dead, your car’s dead, but the small grocery store’s lights are very much alive at this time of night. given the ghastly storm beating down, you don’t really have much other choice but to run inside. but who might be waiting behind those doors?

↬ [STRANGE FLOWER] ♡ ; you go on one of your regular walks. the air is cold. the leaves rumble against the wind. and a strange flower catches your attention against all the dead leaves that lie around it. sometimes curiosity can mean taking unknown risks, sure, but that’s even more evident when said flower sprays spores in your face and brings you to a whole other world you didn’t know was possible

tags

↬ blurbs

↬ other’s writings tag

↬ “this was home” related

posts

moodboards

asks

↬ “starboy” related

posts

asks

last updated december 31st, 2022

[kwritingbooks]

what if i just randomly started to write again a year later

[kwritingbooks]

missing you

🥲🥲 miss u

[kwritingbooks]

this also feels relevant

[kwritingbooks]

a life lesson if a 17 year old on stan twitter ever tries to bully u btw @shroombloomm

[kwritingbooks]

In this apocalyptic world, you can’t go out at night due to Crawlers that lurk in the shadows. But 23 year old Brinley has to set off to get supplies for her younger sister and sick mother. She has everything planned out and knows to stick to what her mother has told her. But what happens when not everything goes to plan? No one warned her about bumping into a snarky, arrogant man who ends up saving her life. So what happens when this forces them into a bond that neither of them asked for? It’s purely for survival, right? At least that’s what they keep telling themselves.

AU: apocalypse/dystopian world

content warnings: mentions of graphic scenes, blood, guns, death, and violence

posts

wattpad links and trailer below

INTRO • ONE • TWO • THREE • FOUR

FIVE • SIX • SEVEN • EIGHT • NINE • TEN

ELEVEN • TWELVE • THIRTEEN • FOURTEEN

FIFTEEN • SIXTEEN • SEVENTEEN

EIGHTEEN • NINETEEN • TWENTY

TWENTY-ONE • TWENTY-TWO • TWENTY-THREE

TWENTY-FOUR • TWENTY-FIVE • TWENTY-SIX

TWENTY-SEVEN • TWENTY-EIGHT •

TWENTY-NINE • THIRTY • THIRTY-ONE • THIRTY-TWO

TRAILER

[kwritingbooks]

// CHAPTER 32: POOLHOUSE //

“I don’t want to die, Harry.”

OUT NOW / READ HERE / MASTERLIST

[kwritingbooks]

co-written by @shroombloomm & me

read on wattpad & tumblr masterlist

Light through the blinds. Warm covers. Bodies nestled. Innocence gone.

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

CW: NSFW content

Harry's POV

The sun cascaded over the side of my face, warming my skin in an effort to wake me. My eyes were pinched shut as my mind sparked back up in the early morning. The memories of last night flooded my half awake self, which caused my tired eyes to peak open into half lidded slits. Last night felt like a half nightmare, half dream and I almost didn’t believe it until my vision focused on Aurora’s torso that I was tangled up with. 

Last night really did happen. 

There was a moment where I thought that it was some sort of fever dream, maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, but I was really there with Aurora. My head was resting in the crook of her arm with my arms wrapped around her torso while she slept on her back. One of her hands rested on my hip, just to know that I was there, that that wasn’t a dream for her either. 

We were really there with one another. 

My arms wrapped tighter around her as my gaze fixated on her resting features. This was a sight that I never thought I would see ever again. My chest was heavier this morning, much more than last night, because I never thought that I would be here with my Aurora again. Last night Leon did something out of character and went against our father to put my happiness first. 

It made me wonder if he wished that he had someone to do that with Mathilde. If he had a glimpse of hope that someone would do the same thing for him. The softer side of him was never evident, but I got to experience that last night, and for that I felt like we had grown closer to one another. 

I felt my body start to sweat from the sun beating down on us. When I first started coming down to Earth, I was always excited for the sun to come up, because that was when the humans came out to socialize and I got to experience life just like them. But this morning was different and there was a longing dread of the sun beating down on us, I figured because it was another reminder that my days with Aurora were limited when I wanted to spend a lifetime with her. 

My elbow propped my body up as I carefully slid out of my dove’s arms and leaned back towards the window that was behind us. With two fingers, I pinched the curtains and pulled them closed until the sun was shielded from the black out pieces of cloth and slinked down back into the arms of my lover. The lack of sun really made a difference, I immediately felt the room start to cool. 

The dampness of my clothes and body temperature didn’t stop me from retreating back into Aurora’s arms. Her warmth was different from the sun’s, it was a comforting kind, one that I would forever be delighted to sweat in. I flickered my gaze back to her face, a small smile on my face. I had never watched humans sleep before, but I had heard of sleeping beauty. It was some sort of animation that smaller humans liked to watch. I wondered to myself if she was the sleeping beauty that they were talking about. 

She very well could have been to me. 

Her chest was floating upwards and downwards with each breath she took from her button nose. The strings of hair fell past her ears, but some were cascading down her cheekbones and resting nicely. How could someone be so beautiful while they slept? It reminded me of the times that I would wake up in my apartment alone and find myself looking in the mirror to bags under my eyes and this ungodly hair that grew on my face. I was often disgusted with my human body, but I was figuring out how it worked, but she made it seem so effortless. She was a princess, in all her glory, she didn’t need to apply any efforts to her looks because she was truly the most perfect thing I had ever seen in my time of living. 

My fingers brushed the hair out of her face as I tucked them behind her ear, brows furrowed in concentration before pulling myself closer to her. My touch must’ve woke her because shortly after she was shuffling in the bed, restless, just as I was. I placed my hand onto her stomach softly, keeping my eyes on her as she took in a slow, deep breath right as her eyes fluttered open. 

Aurora’s palm lazily raised to wipe her eye delicately, her legs stretching out following a few mumbles and grumbles leaving her lips. 

“Good morning, my moon.” I whispered to her as my fingers continued to feather across her body. Her head rolled over to lock her gaze with mine, the stiffness I felt under my touch soon softened as she rolled her body over and wrapped her arms around my body. 

“Harry…” Even early in the mornings, I found my voice to be deep and raspy, but her voice was like scooping honey off the comb into a fresh cup of tea. It melted my heart. I sighed slowly, losing my fingers into the side of her hair as I nodded in confirmation. 

“I’m here.” I didn’t believe that I was though, it didn’t feel real, but I was. The pads of my fingers massaged her scalp as I leaned towards her and placed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Are you sleeping beauty?” 

Her half dazed state pinched a confused look on her as she chuckled. “What?” 

“I meant to say–” I rasped with a shake of my head. I was trying to find the right words, but she made my mind a thick haze of fog. “You are beautiful when you sleep.” I paused, watching a blush of pink spread across her cheekbones. “I missed you.”

She hummed. “I missed you much more.” She challenged as her legs tangled in with mine. Her eyes had a twinkle in them, even in her tired state, she was shining brighter than any star I had the pleasure to see. 

And I had seen a lot of stars in my time. 

I brought myself impossibly close to her, cuddling the lower of her back with my hand while resting my forehead against hers softly. The familiar smell of lavender and vanilla invaded my nose, one that I compared to the scent of being home. Though my planetary home could never compare to Aurora. She was replacing the definition of home more and more each day; I could simply pack my things up and live here with her for the rest of my days. 

“Can’t believe you’re here with me right now.” She whispered to me with fluttering eyes. Her hands were running along the side of my torso while her feet rubbed against the hairs of my legs. “Thought I had lost you forever.”

The thought made my heart clench because that was exactly what happened. I almost lost her, just as Leon lost Mathilde. 

“Let’s not focus on that.” There was a frown etched on my lips as I sucked in a breath. “We are together now, that is all that matters.” 

“Okay.” She nodded, a twitch of a smile on her lips as she connected her mouth with mine. 

The taste of her was everlasting, I could drink her up in a tall glass if I could. These last weeks had made me appreciate her kiss more now than ever. With my hands on her shoulder, I kissed her back softly with a tight expression. The emotions drilling through my chest made this kiss more passionate, the most that I had ever felt while kissing Aurora. 

Her mouth gaped open before lapping over my bottom lip with hers, deepening the kiss further. Her body was pressed tight against mine, even while focusing on the movements of her kiss, I was hyper fixated on the way her chest felt flush against mine, or the way her naked legs drew up mine until it was resting between my thighs. 

“Goodness.” I breathed into her mouth as my hand cupped one side of her face and kissed her much harder than before. There it was, that overwhelming feeling that always came when we were drawn this close to one another. It was pure euphoria that flooded my hollow veins and made my head rush with some sort of pleasure driven adrenaline. 

And then, I felt it. 

“Oh.” Aurora giggled into the kiss before breaking away from me. It was hard to hide, it always was. I never understood why I could never control it, I tried my best to save myself from the embarrassment, but it was prominent and unfortunately poking against the skin of her thigh. 

I stayed silent, breathless sighs leaving my lips as I adjusted my hips away from her. My cheeks heated up to show her just how embarrassed I was as I rolled onto my back and slowly crossed my arms over my chest following a clear of my throat. 

“Sorry.” I whispered out as I closed my eyes in a flutter. “It does this sometimes.” 

I scolded this body for putting me out like that. No matter how hard I tried to conceal it. It reminded me of the first night that Aurora and I shared our first kiss, though she didn’t seem upset by the matters, in fact she was thrilled. Thrilled enough to relieve me of the problem. 

“Harry.” Her voice was sympathetic as her hand rolled down onto my stomach. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s completely natural.” She paused as I craned my neck to give her a shy look. “And I like it. I feel that way too.” 

She did? Of course not in the same way, I wasn’t dumb. I may have been a bit ditzy, but I knew how the human bodies worked. I just never thought that I would ever make her feel the same way that she made me feel. Maybe that was my insecurities talking, but still. It was hard to wrap my head around. 

“Yeah?” Was all I could bring myself to say as I glanced down to where her similar situation would be before locking eyes with her, though this time her eyes were half lidded and full of some sort of accomplishment that I had never seen on her. Some sort of hunger. 

Perhaps we shared the same hunger for one another. 

“Have you ever…” She trailed off just as her fingers trailed just barely under my shirt. Her fingers brushed against the hair of my happy trail as she teased that area carefully. Suddenly I lost all the breath in my lungs. How could a touch like this make my throat constrict and dry up? 

“Um…” I swallowed thick. I thought back to when I did touch myself a while ago, though I never seemed to end the peak of euphoria. It seemed to keep climbing and climbing. It was like there was no ending to the action. “Once. I don’t think that I–” I shuffled slightly in the warmth of where I laid. “I was just curious.” 

She seemed happy with that answer. Aurora smiled as she pulled herself closer to me, suddenly I felt her kissing the side of my neck as she hummed happily while her fingers still danced along the hem of my pants. My lips parted as her soft lips made sweet love to my neck, my brows furrowed as a soft noise drifted past my lips. 

“Were you exploring yourself?” Her question was innocent, but in this instance it was laced with a tang of lust and hunger. 

“Yes.” A breathy whisper passed my lips. I would never openly admit that, but she was like truth serum. Each kiss, each touch, it was soaking through my skin and making it nearly impossible for me to make up some sort of lie. 

Her lips worked on my neck with happy hums, pushing herself closer as her lips trailed to the bob of my Adam’s apple and nipped at the skin. I hadn’t even noticed how hard my fingers were embedded in the sheets of the mattress. I craned my neck towards her, causing her to pull from her actions and meet my gaze. 

“Aurora…” Her name left my lips in desperation and I rolled onto my side, just hovering slightly over her with my elbow helping me prop myself up. My free hand cupped the underside of her jaw while my thumb delicately ran over her lips. 

I couldn’t find the words. Her smile was bright enough to blind someone, but her doe eyes were causing my problem to constrict tight against my underwear. She fluttered her eyes at me, waiting for me to continue, but all I could do was shake my head. I needed to find the words. 

“I want to explore with you.” There was a ping of anxiety that ping ponged in my chest. I had never been so open with someone before, but she made me feel safe. Aurora made me feel like I could be myself with her, the good, the bad, and apparently the part of me that gets ungraciously hard around her. 

“I want that too.” She replied back. 

With that, our mouths connected once more. It started slow, I tried to contain my excitement as our lips lapped against each other, but Aurora was more eager than I, it seemed. Opening my mouth to lap against her top lip, her tongue poked out and swiped against my bottom lip. Suddenly my elbow that propped me to hover over her faltered and I felt my body weaken as my hand held the nape of her neck and pulled her closer. 

My mouth hung open, eyes drawing to the back of my head as her tongue swirled around the bottom of my lip slowly, then dipped inside of my mouth. Feeling lightheaded at the sultry action, my tongue twitched as I pushed it towards hers to meet. A soft, sweet melody drifted from her, one that I had known to be out of pleasure, and I knew I was doing something right. 

Our tongues danced across each others before I closed my lips, enclosing our tongues together. The kiss started to heat up more, which I thought was nearly impossible because my underarms were pooling with sweat from my nerves. They became more sloppy, more heated, less coordinated and more hungry. Her hands were all over me, running up my shirt to feel my torso and the shakiness of my chest before following the curves to the back where her fingers squeezed my skin tightly enough to make me inhale a sharp breath. 

“Fuck.” I broke the kiss, letting out a whimpery whine as my eyes followed frantically along her body. At some point in our make out session, we must’ve kicked the blankets off of each other because I was now staring at her naked legs that her shorts and long t-shirt didn’t cover. 

Her lips were swollen red, there was a glisten of where she hadn’t wiped off the evidence of our actions. I swallowed harshly, now fully feeling the throbbing in my pants. My eyes met where the bulge was prominent and embarrassingly wet through the pants I was wearing. 

“Can I…?” Her eyes flickered towards the bulge, my lips parted, but hers were crooked with a sinful smile as she met my gaze. 

This was it. 

“You don’t have to–” 

“I want to.” She cut me off. “Is that okay?” 

My heart was failing. The last time I touched myself, I couldn’t keep myself still and the noises coming from my lips were uncontrollable. If it was like that with just myself, I couldn’t imagine what it would be with my love touching me like that. 

But I nodded desperately, because I wanted her so badly to touch me and take away the unbearable ache in my pants. 

“Words, Starboy.” She whispered as she descended down the bed just to adjust herself between my legs. My hands were holding myself up as I stared down at her through half-shut eyes. “Consent is key. Use your words.” 

“I–I knew that.” I actually knew that. “Yes, um…” I gestured towards my area. “Yes. Yes.” 

She leaned towards me, pressing a gentle kiss to my bottom lip softly as her fingers feathered underneath the hem of my shirt. I felt the cold draft hit my skin as the shirt peeled off of my torso until I was shirtless and exposed. I didn’t know why, but I felt the sudden urge to cover myself. Aurora always said to cover myself in front of others. 

“Lay back for me, baby.” 

Oh, baby. 

I fixed the pillow up against the headboard of the bed, laying back just enough where I could still see her. Aurora pressed soft kisses down my heavy chest all the way down to my happy trail until she stopped and started to slip down my pants. Inhaling sharply, my fingers were digging into the mattress again. My cock hit against my stomach, feeling the brisk cold hit it to cool it from being insufferably hot inside of my pants. 

“Shit.” Aurora hissed as she stared down at my cock. The mess of pubes scattered around my prick had small patches of wetness just below where my happy trail was. It must’ve been where my excitement had dripped out from me. But, even then, I felt—weird. 

I couldn’t bare to look. Why did I feel so self conscious? Aurora makes me feel like I’m on top of the world, but in this moment, I felt very small. Very vulnerable. My gaze that fixed on her was now turned towards the wall as I chewed on the inside of my cheek nervously. 

“Harry?” Aurora noticed my sudden change in emotion, her smile faltering into a concerned expression. “Hey, are you okay?” 

My hands cupped over my chest as I inhaled slowly, chewing down on my cheek still as I nodded at her. Though, it was Aurora and I could never lie to her, nor could she see through my facade. Her hands rested on my thighs as she leaned towards me, cupping my jaw as she studied me. 

“I’ve never done this–” I beat her to the punch, speaking before she asked again. “It’s just foreign to me. On Earth. That’s all.” 

Also the fact that my human body was hairy. Not that it was a bad thing, just foreign. Back home we didn’t have hair scattering along our bodies like humans. The only hair we had was on our heads. And even then it was different. Moved different. 

She frowned. “I know that.” She placed a kiss to my jaw, nuzzling her nose against my cheek. “And it’s okay, Harry. I know you’ve never done something like this before and I want to make sure you’re comfortable.” 

I appreciated the fact that she wanted to take care of me. Her comfort in my own consent and security was, in fact, comforting. The fear of not being enough likely stemmed from the issues I grew up with, and it was showing full force. I wanted to do this with Aurora, it was all I had ever wanted since we first kissed, but what if I wasn’t enough? 

“I know…” I drew out breathlessly, still covering my body as my nose nudged into her hair, inhaling her scent slowly. “I just…feel a little insecure. That’s all.” I whispered. 

Aurora looked like I had just offended her. Her mouth was agape as she shook her head. 

“Insecure?” She whispered between us. “Harry, you are so–beautiful. Your body is so gorgeous…” She trailed off as her eyes scanned my body in wonder. I bit my lip as a smile appeared on my lips. “I adore you. You have no idea how much I do…” She paused, sitting back onto the soles of her feet as her hands traveled up my thighs again, causing me to shiver. “Let me show you how much I adore you. Is that okay?” 

I wished that I could articulate how much I felt the same about her. She was everything to me. If only I could make her feel that way, feel like I truly loved her. I found my hands retracting to my side as I nodded slowly. 

“Okay–” I paused, remembering Aurora’s words. “Yes. Yes, please?” 

I inhaled as Aurora wrapped her wet fingers around my length and gave it one slow, soft stroke. My breath caught in my throat as I hissed, staring down at her motions as she worked on her strokes. This felt much better than when I did it on myself. Her hand was warm, gliding up the veiny aching shaft, beads of wetness dripped from the tip and she lathered it around her hand before gliding it effortlessly, mixing it all with her own spit. 

“Oh, Aurora…” I sucked in my bottom lip, curling my toes tightly together as my hips sputtered upwards into pleasure. There it was again. I couldn’t control the movements of my body. My hips were bucking up just slightly as my chest rose and fell quickly. “Mmm…fuck.” 

“You’re so beautiful.” Aurora sunk down between my thighs, now resting on her stomach as her lips kissed up my skin. My brows pinched, trailing my hand down to hold her hand that was free. She chuckled softly, interlocking our fingers together and pressing a kiss to my hand. “Such a pretty boy like this.” 

“Y-you’re beautiful too, my dove.” I wasn’t used to the strings of compliments, but I couldn’t pay too much mind to it when her mouth was everywhere and her hand was working my length at a pace that, even if it was slow, I couldn’t seem to catch up with.

That was until she tucked her lose strings of hair behind her ears and got closer to my cock. My jaw fell slack as I felt her hot breath on my shaft, causing it to twitch with pleasure. Suddenly I felt her tongue start at the bottom of my shaft and drag all the way up to the tip of it. 

My chest shook. “Oh my stars.” A moan drew out past my lips as my head involuntarily tilted back with my eyes shut. 

The heat of her mouth engulfed my shaft, feeling her tongue lap up the underside of it. I had never felt anything like this before, it was hard to stay still, my hips were shifting upwards into her mouth helplessly and desperately. The organs inside my body, that never did anything for me, were now twisting and turning inside my stomach. My abdomen was tight with each bob of her head, I found myself whimpering under her touch. 

“That’s really good.” I breathed out through a slack jaw, my fingers were squeezing her hand harder from the pure bliss that took over my body. “Oh, Aurora, that’s really–.” A high pitched whine left me as I felt the back of her throat with the tip of my cock, my hips shifting up once more as she held her spot there for mere seconds. 

Aurora hummed, sending vibrations through my cock. It was nearly enough to make me spill in her, but not quite enough. Just as I was getting used to her mouth wrapped around me, there was a sudden loss of heat and I felt cold. My eyes shot open, tilting my head down to look at her with a frantic look. 

“Why–why did you stop?” I whimpered desperately as my hips started to shake, matching the same rhythm of my thighs. Aurora kissed my cock softly, pulling from me as she brushed away the saliva underneath her lips. 

“It’s okay, we aren’t done yet.” Aurora reassured me as she folded her legs and sat on the soles of her feet again. Just as I was about to open my mouth to say something, she peeled her shirt off and exposed her clothed breasts to me. My eyes widened, mouth agape as I quickly looked away with a wild blush on my cheeks. 

“S-Sorry–” I stuttered out. 

“No, Harry.” I felt Aurora crawl onto my lap, sitting directly against my shaft as her hands placed down onto my torso. “It’s okay. I want you to look at me.” 

She does? 

“O-oh, I just thought we weren’t supposed to–.” 

She chuckled at me. “I mean, yes…I did say that, but this time I want you to look at me. This time is different.” 

I swallowed my nerves and turned my head to look at her. I’d never seen Aurora naked before, nor had I seen something like this in real life. There was a black fabric material that covered her breasts, though her cleavage was showing. I pressed my lips together tightly, my hands resting on her barethighs carefully as I switched my gaze to hers. 

“You are…” My voice cracked, clearing my throat as my fingers drummed against her skin slowly. “You are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever come across, Aurora.” My voice shook as my hand involuntarily raised up to graze the top of her breast, but I stopped myself. “Can…I?” 

With a blush on her cheeks, she nodded. “Yes, honey. Of course.” 

I sucked in a breath, reaching out and cupping one of her breasts. It fit so perfectly in my hand, it was almost like she was made just for me. I palmed it slowly, waiting for any reaction she may give, hoping to also give her the pure bliss that she had gifted me with. A soft sound escaped her, causing me to shoot my eyes up at her. 

“This feels good?” My cock twitched under her. How was I still hard? I had begun to learn that it always stayed that way until the problem was taken care of. I desperately needed her, there was no doubt, and I wished to explore every part of her body if she let me. 

“Yeah, but you know what would feel really good?” She didn’t give me time to answer before she was shimmying herself out of her shorts and showcasing her body fully to me. We were now both completely naked, and she was sitting herself atop of me. I could feel her bareness as it transferred her own excitement onto mine. 

“Wow.” I breathed, finding my hands drumming on her hips nervously as my hips shifted under her. “Aurora, I want more of you.” I almost whined desperately at the sight of her naked body. “Please? I—I want to make you feel good.” 

“Shhh, Starboy…” Her lips flushed against the shell of my ear as her teeth caught the bottom of my earlobe and made my heart jump. My eyes were fighting to stay open as her slick part ground up and down my aching shaft. I couldn’t find myself to steady my breaths, my chest was weaving unsteadily as whimpers left me. “Let me take care of you.” 

Her bottom pushed back to sit on my thighs as her hand found my shaft once more, firmly squeezing it as my toes curled in pleasure and my face pinched. I couldn’t articulate the feelings that were flowing through me, instead my head was dazed and hazy. For once, I couldn’t think.

And that was something I usually never had a problem with. 

“I’m—“ My words choked as I found my hand grabbing onto her forearm, grinding myself into her hand as whimpers left my lips. “Aurora, I’m leaking. So much. There’s so much—euphoria flowing through me. My head—“ 

“I know.” She shushed me. “Do you want to go further? I can show you just how good it can get.” 

“It—it gets better?” Oh my god, anymore and I was sure that I would crumble. 

“So much better.” She stopped her motions on my shaft, tapping her fingers against my sensitive tip teasingly. “Do you want to?” 

“Yes, yes.” Even if it kills me. “Please, it—it hurts a little. I need something—to get rid of this feeling. I feel so…” The words trailed off as my eyes fluttered closed. I couldn’t find myself to speak. My words were jumbled and all I wanted was to get rid of this feeling. 

“I’m gonna put you inside of me.” She reassured me as she hovered over my shaft. I didn’t question it. I knew this was a part of human connection, though I’d never experienced it myself. I placed a hand onto her hip, brows furrowed. 

“Am I going to hurt you?” I bit. “It seems as though my reproductive organ is a bit large, compared…—“ Before I could finish my concerns, Aurora cackled out into a loud fit. I pinched my face in confusion, but still chuckled along with her as I shifted underneath her. 

“W-What? Did I say something wrong?” I chuckled nervously. 

“No, you’re just—“ She sighed lovingly, smiling softly to herself. “You’re so fucking cute, Harry. It’s not going to hurt, I promise. It’s going to feel really good for the both of us.” 

I gave another murmur of consent, folding my arms over my chest nervously as Aurora leaned forward and peppered around my collarbone to ease my nerves. I felt her tongue poke out and lap around the small dip in my collarbone before her lips wrapped around my flesh and started to suck it carefully. With brows pinched, my jaw went slack at the sudden pleasure it gave me. How could one small thing make my body twitch and jerk? 

Over the curve of her body, I saw her hips adjust and slowly dip down. The curve of her body had me curious. I had touched her back before, but my fingers couldn’t help but trace down the line of her spine, watching the tiny faint hairs stand and goosebumps scatter across her skin. 

Though, even with my concentration on her back, that was suddenly the last thing on my mind when I felt her warmth wrap around my aching shaft. A hollow breath left me, almost taking the breath out of me as soft whimpers left my lips. She was so slow, dipping herself further down my shaft until she was sitting flush against my pubic bone. 

“Aurora…” I choked, the sensation was different, it was so warm and beautiful. I felt how wet she was before, but nothing could compare to the feeling of it being wrapped around where I was begging for attention. 

“Is this okay, baby?” I could barely hear her voice talking to me, my eyes were fluttered shut with my back teeth clenched tightly together as I tried to fight the urge to move my hips. 

“Y-Yeah, keep—“ I choked once more, my fingers digging deep into her skin as a thin layer of sweat appeared over my chest and forehead. I hadn’t realized how hot I had gotten from our sudden closeness. My nose dove into her hair as my mouth flushed against her ear. “Keep going, Aurora. Please, please.” 

Our mouths pressed gently against each other as whimpers escaped me, she was eating my moans as I felt her body slip upwards and create a sudden shock of pleasure through my legs and stomach. Her motions started slow but repetitive. With each articulate stroke, my breath was being taken away from me more and more. 

“Dear—god.” A high pitched whimper escaped through my throat, trying to fight the urge to pinch her hips tighter than it already was. Her moans were flooding my hearing, it was like the most beautiful song I’d heard. As if she was singing the song of Achilles. I was patiently waiting to hear the harp that would shortly join in with her beautiful sounds. 

“You can move—.” She nearly hissed, her fingers curling into my locks as her hips massaged back and forth on my cock. “Move your hips, Harry. Please.”

It was what my body was wanting to do this entire time, yet I was fighting the urge in fear of getting it wrong. Aurora knew I was no expert, yet there I was, already knowing some things because my body was trying to show me the way. I let out a small huff, burying my face deep into her neck as rigid breaths left me, then started to thrust my hips further into her. 

She was so warm. The temperature in the room grew a hundred degrees since she had toppled on top of me, and I could feel my forehead starting to sweat with beads that were forming to fall. I placed one hand onto her shoulder from the back and brought her down onto my aching cock and started to rut myself against her in pure euphoric pleasure that shocked my core. 

“Just like that.” Aurora praised with her lips pressed against my cheekbones, kissing away the sweat that had formed. “Fuck, it feels so good, Harry.” 

“Aurora.” I nearly cried from how my body felt. This feeling could never amount to when I did it to myself whilst alone in my room. This feeling felt like it was everlasting, although there were waves of pleasure that came and went, and when it would flood again it would come back tenfold. “I adore you, my Aurora. So warm. So sweet. I am weak, I can feel it—.” 

“I feel it too.” Her hand cupped underneath my jaw, tipping it just barely back as she searched my frantic, yet soft, yet so desperate look on my face. 

Just as I was to respond, her hips fell down onto my cock and made me whine out a small “ah!” I nodded quickly, licking over my bottom lip as my fingers ran through her strains of hair while my other hand cupped just under her breast. 

A gravely moan ripped through my throat as my back hit the headboard. I was able to see her body now that I wasn’t so close, the way her breasts dipped down and hung beautifully. Her chest quivering above me, the way her stomach was rolling in and out with each thrust I gave her. 

My eyes met her nipple that was pretty and pink, my two fingers pinching it carefully just as I fucked up into her. Her body shook as a moan fell from her. I’d never believed in angels growing up, I always thought that humans were so gullible in believing something so fictional, but seeing Aurora confirmed to me that they were real; they just had slick dark hair that gleamed in the sunlight, and faint dimples that appeared when they smiled with their eyes. 

My heart swelled ten times over, feeling an overwhelming emotion push down on my chest. Aurora noticed the sudden change in demeanor that splayed on my features as my bottom lip rolled into my mouth. She slowly leaned down and pressed her chest against mine, her hand locking into my curls. All I could find myself to do was breathe, keep my chest from caving in and breaking my form. 

In one motion, I rolled us both over on our sides and brought her closer to me. Her flushed face tilted to lock eyes with mine, my fingertips slowly trailing down her thigh until I found a sturdy part to grasp onto and hoist her thigh over my hip. We were now flush with each other, she was dripping her warmth around my cock that was carefully finding a good spot inside her. 

“I don’t know what’s happening.” I breathed out softly, feathering my digits down her arm carefully as my eyes fluttered nearly shut. “I’ve never felt this way before.” 

There was a beat of silence, Aurora nudging her nose against mine, for a second I thought she was taking the oxygen from me, because I forgot how to breathe due to it. My shaky hand interlocked with hers, bringing it slowly to my chest and holding it close. 

“I love you, Starboy.” 

A small whimper caught in my throat as I caught her lips. I left her hand on my chest, to which she didn’t dare to move it, and I placed my hand on the lower of her back and started to rut up into her again. The act of this physical soul bonding experience brought me more euphoria than I could ever feel back home. The stars were aligning above us, I could see her features faintly as the clusters created a beautiful mural of this moment. Of us. Together. 

Like we were supposed to be. 

“My Aurora.” My sweaty forehead pressed against hers as I mumbled against her lips slowly. “You’re my Aurora.” 

In the heat of the moment, I felt a fire burning in the pit of my stomach, my brows furrowing tightly together as my grip tightened around her back. The familiar sensation radiated from my stomach, down to the shakiness of my thighs and my curling toes. No words exchanged between us as we both rode this natural high with one another that made us cry, whimper, and moan in the pure happiness and ecstasy that we gave each other. 

My hips snapped harder against her, Aurora’s lips finding their way to my neck, feeling her breath hot against my skin while I buried my face into her hair and held her tightly. Moans were ripping through my throat, trying to control the pace of which I made love to her, but the high was building and building until I couldn’t handle it anymore. 

Tears brimmed my waterline, jaw slacking as my body reacted and sent a numbing effect that was mixed with pure pleasure. It reminded me of the night we took acid in the woods, it was blissful in every sense of the word, or at least my understanding of it. It was an explosion of emotions and tingly feelings. I released naturally into her, my hips snapping sloppily to ride out the high as her body jerked from underneath me, having the same reaction as we both rode the high tides together. 

Her moans were high, low, beautiful and slow, desperate as her fingers clawed on my skin and her thighs desperately grasped my sides. I slowed my pace down once my cock became too sensitive, delicately pulling out from her flower, but still clinging onto her tightly as a few tears dropped down the sides of my cheeks. My vision was blurred, the endorphins were relaxing my body back to a sleepier state. 

I melted down into her arms in a state of vulnerability. I suddenly realized how naked I was, how open I was with her. When the arousement and adrenaline washed away, there was a sense of embarrassment that crept up on me. Slowly, carefully, I grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to my chest as my lips pulled into my mouth, still trying to catch my breath. 

“Did I do good?” I half whimpered, sinking down into her arms. 

Aurora smiled through hooded eyes, slithering her arms under my neck and pulling to press a kiss to my nose, then my cheek, then my mouth. She let out a soft hum, nodding happily. 

“You did perfect, Harry.” 

A smile twitched onto my lips, breathing out in relief. “Okay.” I said softly. “Okay, I did good.” I said again, but this time under my breath because I was mostly saying it to myself. 

I hadn’t realized how long we had been laying in bed, as the sun that was covered by the blinds was now shining brighter and the temperature in the room was even hotter than it was before. I swallowed thickly, putting my head against Aurora’s heart slowly, one hand interlocked with her fingers as we laid in silence. Her heartbeat thumped against my ear, almost jolting me from my spot, but peaking my curiosity. 

Thump, thump, thump. 

It was beating fast. 

Peeling my ear from her chest, I replaced it with my hand and felt it beat under my palm. My eyes locked with her tired ones, a softening look dawning over me. 

“How long do we stay here?” I whispered softly. 

Her eyes searched mine, placing her hand onto mine and pressing it down firmly on her chest. 

“Forever.” She whispered back. 

I think Aurora and I had different understandings of the word “forever.” Apparently forever only lasted enough time to re-watch a whole season of her favorite show before she sneaked out of the sheets, a thin cover wrapping delicately around her frame.

I watched her saunter off, almost in a tip-toe. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion, but I didn’t want to move from our spot. I knew it wasn’t because of Astro, because she had just recently gotten out of bed to run her out for a walk. I had begrudgingly let her out of our cocoon that we had made for ourselves, but this time she was too quick for me to protest. 

I reached for the remote, turning the volume down to try and hear for any clues. I hated how empty the bed felt now that there was one less body in it. Even just in that small span of time, I swore it grew colder. 

But my attempt to eavesdrop for clues was found to be not very useful, as all I could hear was a door opening. I knew it wasn’t her front door at least, considering it sounded like it came from closer to her room. I really didn’t want to be nosy or clingy, but no longer being physically connected with her felt like I had lost something.

“Aurora?” I finally managed to say aloud. 

I waited a few moments for a response, and the lack of one back arose an aching feeling in my chest. 

Was she ignoring me?

I sat up in bed, looking around the dimly lit room from the now evening hours of the day peeking through the blinds. I was able to hear a cabinet open and close from the wall that shared against her bedroom. As I was now sitting up, I looked over to the side to see that Astro was passed out on the floor beside me.

I was surprised to see that she hadn’t followed her to wherever Aurora had gone.

I placed my bare feet onto her floor carefully, scared to make it obvious that I was in the midst of leaving her bed. My boxers were laid loosely against my hips as I continued to wonder if I should stay there or go on the hunt to where she had gone. 

It was the anxiety of not knowing that struck me so wildly. I was no fan of this feeling either considering she almost always told me when she was leaving. 

My head turned quickly to the sound of running water coming from the same location as where the cabinets had just opened and closed. My confusion ran deeper, leading my feet quicker off the bed and to the door frame that I had last seen her leave.

I peeked over the corner, almost expecting her to pop out at any moment. 

I could hear her now: “Harry, what are you doing?” with a chuckle leaving her lips.

But what I expected didn’t happen, and I was still only left with the sound of water running. My eyes scanned across the hallway until they met with the bar of light that escaped from the bottom of the door beside me. 

“Oh.” I replied quietly to myself. “Bathroom.” I laughed lightly to myself, halfway in embarrassment. Humans went to the bathroom. That was right.

Duh.

Just as I was turning my heel, I heard the doorknob twist and quickly a beautiful presence peeked their way through the crack.

“Harry?” She whispered, scanning her eyes to me. She had a smile braced against her face as she recognized me standing mere feet from her now. The door opened wider, showcasing her fully now. She was still adorned in her black set of underwear that I had become fully acquainted with earlier, but I still looked away automatically. It seemed wrong to see her in that state, even now.

She chuckled. “You don’t have to look away. Come in.” She waved her hand towards the entrance of the bathroom before disappearing soon after. 

I thought my options over, not sure which one to take. I knew my body probably couldn’t handle a round two of what had happened earlier, but I wasn’t sure why else I would be invited inside the bathroom with her. I also wasn’t sure if that was an appropriate setting for such a thing either.

Now I was just blatantly curious to what I was being invited in to.

I stepped inside carefully, my bare feet tapping against the cold tiles and I shuttered lightly to myself, goosebumps prickling against my skin now.

Aurora was busy setting up a pair of towels on top of the counter as I looked ahead. The bathtub was about halfway full, and now the sound of running water began to make sense after all. 

“Would you hand me that lighter over there?” Her manicured burgundy finger was gesturing towards me, but aimed at my side of the counter. Instinctively, I followed, handing her the black lighter that laid there. 

She took it gracefully, lighting a candle that was held in her opposite hand. Before I knew it, there were three candles of different shapes and sizes, lighting up the room. She reached over, flicking off the overhead light and suddenly the room was filled with an amber light.

The warm smells soon wrapped around us, and it was hard to pinpoint the notes of flavor I was being invited to. 

“Have you ever had a bath?” She asked as she placed the lit candles on the side of the bath. I crinkled my eyebrows in confusion, wondering how that didn’t seem like a hazard. Wouldn’t water cancel out the fire? What would happen if it fell in? Or if a droplet landed on the flame?

I cleared myself of the thought, needing to focus on the question that still was left unanswered in the air currently. 

Quickly, I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. Just the type that rains down from that spout up there.” I pointed towards the showerhead. I quickly learned through my time on Earth that hair required washing, according to the internet when I searched why my hair felt so stringy and almost wet.

Google was probably the best invention on this Earth, I also learned.

“First for everything then, right?” She smiled. I watched her features move against the flickering light that came from the candles below her. She then cleared her throat. “Thought it might be nice.”

I smiled back at her and nodded my head. The steam rising from the water looked more enticing than ever, especially considering how cold my body felt barely clothed and only touching the bathroom tiles below me. 

“You can get in while I go grab something real quick.” She said as she already scurried out of the room. 

I was left again with that pit in my stomach that I felt every time she left me unexpectedly. But, I didn’t let the feeling linger long enough to think too much about it before I stripped off the little bit of clothes I had left on, dipping my toe into the water ever so carefully.

Once one foot went in, the other went in much quicker as well as the rest of the body, just in anticipation for the warmth of the water to enwrap me fully. 

Just as I had sunk my body in, Aurora had reappeared in the doorway. The dim lighting helped hide any insecurities I might have had being the only one now naked in the room, but it helped how innocent this situation felt. 

She held a bottle of wine and two glasses in both hands and she set them on the counter, pouring each one half full. I continued to watch her movements as she looked heavily focused on her tasks. Once she screwed the lid back onto the bottle, she then reached behind her back for her bra, unclasping it quickly with her fingers. 

Her back looked so soft and delicate as I watched, and I had to physically fight against the urge to reach my hand towards it, to feel it for myself. 

Soon, she turned back around and I refocused my eyes on something else, to make it not seem like I wasn’t just scanning over her entirety so carefully. Out of my peripherals, I could see the faint movements of her removing the rest of her garments, and moving closer to me. 

I shifted in the tub. “Oh, uh. Where should I move?” I didn’t consider that another body was obviously going to have to come in. It made my heart rate raise again, unsure what to do.

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to move.” I caught a glimpse of her just as she dipped her own feet in, standing directly over me now. I swallowed a lump in my throat, my heart only raising more and more. I was so nervous, but I wasn’t sure why. Just her presence alone made me gasp at the thought. She was almost too beautiful, if that was possible.

Slowly, she lowered her body down so as to not splash water. I felt her body mold against mine, her back flat against my back. I was almost positive she would be able to feel the rapid thumps of my heart against her, which only made me more nervous.

If she did notice it though, she never mentioned it, which soothed me slightly. 

Her fingers brushed lightly against my thighs before finding a comfortable spot to rest them. She even let out a soft hum as her head fell back to rest against my shoulder. My nose twitched as her hair tickled against it, but it was a tickle I would forever be grateful for. It meant she was close.

“Is this comfortable?” She asked in a relaxed, and hushed, tone.

I nodded. “Yes, are you? Comfortable–I mean.” I winced at my poor choice in wording, but I was trying to teach myself that it was okay to not be perfect yet either. Aurora had reminded me it was okay too many times to count in the past anyway.

She chuckled. “Yes, I’m comfortable.”

I smiled, relaxing my body against the tub myself now. I felt my heart slow down with each moment now, feeling less and less on edge now. 

“Aurora?” I whispered with my eyes shut close in a relaxed state of bliss.

“Hm?” She hummed.

“Love.” I paused, trying to collect my thoughts at the same time. “When you said you loved me. I want you to know, I do as well. Love you, I mean. I love you as well.” 

It was silent for a moment, and I wondered if she had fallen asleep, but then her fingers came to life and she rubbed small circles against the thighs they rested on. And when I thought she might say something back, she didn’t, and instead turned her head to leave a small kiss against my arm.

It was so gentle, and such a small gesture, yet it said a million things that words failed to. 

Maybe this is what she meant when she said forever.

a/n: hey! hope you guys enjoyed hehe. be sure you follow sunny & i on twitter for sneak peeks and other fun things! we also have a starboy twitter gc in case anyone is interested 🫶🏻 (@kwritingbooks & @shroomiebloomm)

[kwritingbooks]

co-written by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or tumblr masterlist

The true meaning of bittersweet, something Harry was finally coming to understand.

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

Harry’s POV 

Bittersweet. 

I never knew what bittersweet was, nor had I ever heard the word until I traveled to Earth. How could something so sweet be so bitter? When I would think about sweets, I would think about the first cupcake I had with Aurora. The thick icing was overpowering, but the taste of the soft cake underneath was just enough to even it out. 

Bitter was the black coffee I drank when I stopped by the coffee shop without Aurora one time. Because of the fact that I didn’t remember the drink I had ordered with her previously, I didn't know exactly what to put in it. So, I ordered a coffee, because that word I knew for sure was a part of it. It came black, a vast difference from the blonde beverage I was accustomed to with her. It was hot, bitter, and made the roof of my mouth have an odd taste to it. 

So when Leon and I were traveling down to Earth to say goodbye to Aurora, all I could think about were those two things together: bitterness and sweetness, a cocktail of misalignment. If you would have asked me, I would’ve eaten a million sweet cupcakes until I got sick if it meant that I never had to experience the bitter taste of that bean water again.

That I knew for sure.

But those were two odds of a spectrum, and I never quite understood how things could co-exist when on either side. Now I think I understood. 

This was what bittersweet felt like, and it was painful.

When Leon told me about his past lover he had on Earth, it made me feel like we were closer, at least given that I was still a bit cold towards him. But that didn’t take away from the fact that he had hidden this from me for so long. I’d never even seen him with another star-being on our planet. I always chalked it up to him always being too busy with missions and not having enough time for any form of relationship with others. That was what he led me to believe anyway.

But now I began to wonder if it was because nobody would ever fill the Mathilde shaped hole in his heart. 

I wondered if that was going to happen to me after tonight. 

As our bodies traveled in speed that was much faster than anything that moved on Aurora’s planet below us, I couldn’t help but somehow get lost in my thoughts. What normally would have felt like fleeting moments, then felt like days spent on Earth, lost in thought.

I thought about Leon’s Mathilde. My mind warped images in my mind of what she could have looked like. According to history books I had found in Aurora’s bookshelf, people dressed differently based on where they lived and when it happened. There were no tops like Aurora would wear with her bellybutton poking out beneath the fabric–at least not in the years that Mathilde was around.

I also began to think about personality traits she must have had. Was Leon the same Leon that I knew when they were together? It was so hard to imagine Leon going out of his way and expressing his feelings, something that apparently people in relationships did on a daily basis based on the romantic comedies Aurora would have me watch with her. I grew to really like them. 

It was just hard to see Leon playing that role of a lover who would make others laugh. He would sometimes make me laugh, but there weren’t many times I could count. Usually he was figuring out how to get on father’s best side, and the other half of the time was reaping the benefits of that.

What kind of person could bring out such a different side of him? She must have been like my Aurora. Only someone full of light can bring out the light in someone else like that, like she did for me. It was a light I didn’t even know could come out. It was pure and it made me feel light on my feet, and not in the physical way of flying or falling like I was used to.

She made my experience of life much more beautiful and well lived, and in a much shorter timeframe than I had already lived elsewhere while in this shared galaxy.

That was also why I had to see her again. Even if this would be the last time ever.

When we landed, I had to rub my face to get the dirt debris off that had flung up from the sudden wind that swept us down. We landed directly in the park across the street from Aurora’s apartment, hidden off in a thick section of trees. All the neighboring houses had their lights off and their porch lights on, while the moon was just coming up over the treelines, inviting the night in. I wasn’t sure of the exact time, but I knew that it was deep in the night at this point, Leon and I made sure of it before takeoff. Usually with each landing I would be cautious on where I landed, but given the circumstances of the situation, I was a bit messy this time I had to admit. 

I was honestly surprised that Leon went through with it, but maybe he just wasn’t in the mood to argue anymore either. Or maybe he was also being stupid. That trait could easily have been genetic apparently.

I couldn’t count the amount of days, possibly weeks, that I’d gone without seeing Aurora. I would’ve said I was excited to see her again, but I feared that this was the last memory I’d ever have in her presence. I hoped she wouldn’t be too upset; I wasn’t sure I could handle having her upset as the last visual I had to remember her with.

I needed our last memory to be a good one. For both of us.

Standing across the street, lit up by the streetlights in front of us in a yellow glow, I stared eagerly at the apartment I had grown to know over the last few months. My palms were sweating nervously as I considered how that growth would soon end.

“You ready?” Leon knocked me out of my thoughts. 

I sighed in acknowledgment.

The truth was, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure I would ever be truly ready. Getting to say goodbye to Aurora was a treat, but it was a death sentence wrapped up into one. Bittersweet, it was, and painfully so. 

There were so many things we never got to do together, so many memories to be made, so many things I wanted to say, but never knew how to. 

Time was so precious, and I felt like I had wasted it. There were no repairs to be made on something that could not only be undone, but even fixed at all. That was it. No redos. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I breathed out, wiping my sweaty palms onto my jeans. “Are you–are you coming with me?” 

Leon’s stern display softened, glancing towards me out of the corner of his eye. 

“Do you want me to?” 

I thought for a moment. “How much time do I have with her?” 

Leon pulled his arm out in front of him, flicking his wrist ever so slightly to adjust his sleeve and exposed the watch on his wrist. His face twisted, lips pursed. 

I didn’t even know he kept a watch on him.

“You’ve got ten minutes before father notices we are both gone. The guards will make sure of it after that.” He dropped his arm back down to his side, his sleeve falling down to hide the wretched device that had just crushed my spirits.

Ten minutes?

If that was all I had, then I wanted to spend the time alone. I didn’t want Leon to watch over me, especially since this would be a vulnerable moment for the both of us. 

“Stay here.” I breathed quickly, now knowing I was wasting my time by standing there. I took a step, swallowing the bile in my throat as I began to walk towards the apartment, but Leon reached out and took a hold of my arm before I could go any further. 

“Stay outside. I trust you, but–” Leon flickered his gaze between me and the house. “I need to watch you.” 

Staring at Leon, his eyebrows shadowed over his eyes with a knowing look. I knew what he was thinking, he didn’t have to say it. But I knew. 

“You think I’m going to run, don’t you?” 

“I know I would’ve back then. Still would, given the chance.” Leon immediately said back, under a whisper as his lip twitched. His hand fell from my arm down to his side, taking a step back. “Now go. You’re running out of time.” 

Knowing that Leon did what was right, under what we were taught to be–right–but his heart was in the midst of running away with the woman he loved. I could understand that. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t cross my mind a time or two on the way down here. It would be easy to scoop up Aurora and run far away from here, even knowing I only had a few days to survive before having to go back home. As if Leon and father wouldn’t have found me before then anyway.

It would have been worth the trouble that I’d be in if it meant that I got to stay with her longer, though. 

My mind was racing, thoughts running in and out of my mind while I approached the building. Each step up the stairs was like a hole being dug deeper into my grave, yet I was the one who kept digging. Suddenly the thought of running away didn't sound that bad afterall, knowing that I could get a head start before Leon would notice. 

I couldn’t, though, really. I knew that, too.

Standing at the door, I looked back to Leon who was standing across the way. I gave him a short nod, to which he returned, then stared at the door ahead of me. There would never be enough time that would’ve satisfied me when saying goodbye to her. If I could make it a lifelong goodbye, I would. I’d stand here until we were both gray in the hair and using walking canes to get to and from places. We would hold hands that shook with age.

With a trembling hand, I knocked on the door and took a step back. The clock was ticking, my anxiety suddenly made me feel like emptying my hollow stomach. My thoughts soon became induced with anxiety as I began to wonder something I hadn’t considered before: what if she’s not here? What if she’s at work, or at school? What if she’s with Nina? What if she’s asleep and won’t wake up in time?

There wasn’t enough time to run around looking for her, I needed her to be home and awake.

I needed her to be here with me. 

I needed my goodbye. 

I needed to tell her–

“Harry?” 

My eyes fluttered, bringing me back from my moment in a sea of scrambled thoughts. It was surreal, my once blurry vision was now coming clear, the silhouette of her became sturdy and visible, more vibrant with color. She was standing there, doe eyed, in her pajamas with a faint smile etched on her lips. 

There she was. 

My Aurora. 

“Aurora…” I choked on my breath, taking a step toward her. 

Before I could take the leisure of making the first move, she did it for me. Aurora jumped into my arms faster than the speed of light, and I nearly melted into her touch. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around the low of her back and hold her impossibly close to me. Her scent invaded my nose, one I’d grown to like. It was the lavender vanilla scent with a hint of rose to it that I always complimented her on. 

This was where I needed to be, I couldn’t find myself to let go of her. She felt like home, but a home I felt comfort in for the first time in my two thousand years of life.

“It’s been two weeks!” Aurora croaked, pulling back from me as her hands cupped the back of my head, fingers lost into my chestnut curls. “Where have you been? Are you okay? What happened?” 

Her eyes sparkled just at the sight of me, even with her breathy words and crooked smile, I couldn’t find myself to be happy. I couldn’t find myself to be happy because the next words to come out of my mouth were going to take away the spark in her eyes, the smile on her face and the racing in her chest. 

“We…we need to talk.” I whispered lowly to her, bringing my hands up to cup the underside of her jaw as my eyes met hers. 

“Talk?” She wrapped her dainty fingers around my wrist. “Okay, we can talk. Come inside–” 

“No, I–” I looked back to Leon, which made Aurora gaze behind me as well. “I can’t. I have to be quick.” 

I watched her face fall as she noticed who it was behind me. “Harry? What’s–what’s going on? Why is your brother here?” Aurora rushed out, her hands falling to her side. “Why can’t you come inside?” She raised her hand gently to my arm, lightly motioning for me to follow after her, but I remained unmoved. It felt unnatural to fight against my instinct to go wherever she pulled me. 

But I knew I couldn’t.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping that she would somehow read my mind instead of having to say it out loud. I didn’t want to say it out loud, I shouldn’t have had to. I shouldn’t have to be doing this to begin with. This should’ve never happened. 

I was careful. 

I…was…careful. 

But never was I careful enough, was I?

“I can’t come inside because–” I swallowed the swelling feeling in my throat, blinking the emotions away. “Because they know. My father, I mean, he knows. He found out…” 

Aurora took a step back, her hand falling from my touch, and she blinked hard. “What does that mean? Can’t we–just lay low? We can be more careful, right? I can admit we were being a bit sloppy with Collins, but–”

“No.” I cut her off, shaking my head. I had to take a moment as I inhaled sharply due to the ping of pain that hit my chest so brutally after that. “No, we can’t. I–he took me off the mission, Aurora…I can’t see you again…” 

A scoff with a slight chuckle left her mouth, sending a wave of confusion coursing through my body. “Is this some sort of sick joke?” She sounded upset, but more so confused. She didn’t seem to believe me fully.

Oh did I desperately wish it was a joke, though. I stood there, tears brimming my waterline as my leg started to shake, turning my head to hide my vulnerability while chewing on the inside of my cheek. Aurora’s confused demeanor soon softened when she noticed the tear dropping from my eye and racing down the side of my cheek. 

“No…” Aurora breathed. “No, they can’t take you from me like that–from us…Earth! That’s unfair! Who’s gonna save us from those light guardians? What about the mission?!” 

“Leon…” I croaked, gesturing back towards my brother. “He’s, uh—he’s taking it over. It was my father's choice. I can’t fight it. He doesn’t even know I’m here.” 

“There has to be something we can do, right? There has to be—“ Aurora’s voice crumbled. “We’ve figured a way around everything else. Why not this, too?” 

This was exactly what I was scared of. I hoped that she wouldn’t find herself a mess in front of me, just so I could remember her to be happy. But humans were never that simple, were they? But neither was I. 

“You can’t go…Harry, look at me.” She grabbed my face softly, making me look deeply at her. Tears brimmed her eyes, matching the contrast of mine as her bottom lip quivered. Redness had spread to her cheeks, and I knew it wasn’t due to the cold air this time around.

It was hard for the both of us to hide our emotions, but my hands were shaking and I couldn’t find myself to smile for her. I tried to be strong, but the wave of sadness was stronger. It was taking me under like the waves of the ocean, each gasping breath and fighting urge, it was useless. This was much bigger than me. This was a tsunami, and no amount of swimming was going to bring me back to the surface for safety.

Pressing my forehead against hers, my fingers tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and let out a slow breath. Staring into her eyes was like dipping myself into a pool of honey, her brown eyes intoxicating me and breaking me down all at once. I barely got a breath in before she pressed her mouth hard against mine, finding her hands reaching to the back of my neck. 

My hand placed itself onto her shoulder, my other arm wrapping around her waist as I kissed her back in hopes that she could eat the words I’d never wanted to say. I didn’t care if my brother was behind me, I didn’t care if he was watching. If these were my last moments with Aurora for as long as my light continued to twinkle above, I wanted to make it last—with our final kiss, even if it broke the both of us. 

“Please don’t leave me, Starboy.” Aurora whispered against my wet lips with a choked sob, shaking her head lightly. Her voice continually broke as she fought the words out of her mouth, lip quivering. “You can’t go. What will I do? Who will I talk to every day about anything on my mind? I talk to you about things I could never say aloud to Nina sometimes. You have never once judged me, Harry. Who else will treat me how you treat me?” 

Her words hurt much deeper than they had ever felt before. I squeezed onto her tighter, trying my best to hold onto reminders of what she felt like. It was all I was going to have left.

That thought broke me.

“I can never express my sorry enough, Aurora. I never wanted to hurt you. I am so sorry. So so…sorry.” My head bowed to my shoulders as I worked to steady my voice from breaking, but to no avail. Tears were dropping on the pavement below us. “Please, just listen to me. I don’t have much time, okay?” I kept her close, fighting back the urge to collapse at the overwhelming feeling of sadness. How could humans live like this? With such emotion? It was insufferable. 

I created a small distance between us, holding onto her shoulders as they shook from her tears. It hurt so much more seeing that sadness reverberate from her chest to the tears that fell steadily down her cheeks. I could feel what she felt radiate off of her and it physically hurt my body. Bruises of her sobs punched against every part of my body as I heard them.

I wanted to yell out to the gods about how unfair this was. Was I not worthy of this love? Did I not deserve to have Aurora by my side? 

How else could they do this to me?

“Being with you, in this time, has been the greatest honor, Aurora. More than any title under my father’s kingdom could ever do for me. You’ve made me feel things that I hadn’t felt in some light years. Possibly even ever–” 

“Don’t. Don’t do this.” 

“—And I adore you, with every inch of my being. For as long as I last, I will think about you and hold your memory close to me. I will never forget you, Aurora—my Aurora.” 

She yanked her body from my grasp. “This isn’t goodbye, don’t do this! I refuse this to be a goodbye.” Aurora whimpered, I could feel her shaking from suppressing the same overwhelming feelings I had. “Don’t you dare say goodbye to me, Harry! You can’t, I won’t let you!” 

“What is this, then?” I swallowed thickly, pulling her in close again. I nudged my nose against hers with an unsteady breath, our gasps of air syncing together. I knew what she wanted, but I couldn’t find myself to give it to her. 

If I could, I would. 

I’d give my Aurora anything she wanted. 

“This is…” Her hands were everywhere, cupping my face, fingers drawing down my neck then to the back of my curls. Desperate to touch me, to remember me as much as she could before I left. “See you soon.” 

I wept out. How could three little words cause this much pain in my chest? My fingers interlocked with hers, nodding my head as strings of tears fell down my cheeks. I didn’t know if I fully believed it myself, but a part of me had to cling on to that hope. There was no way everything could align so perfectly to place me right here in this very city, to just be turned away less than a year later. This had to be predestined. 

Harry and Aurora. That was who we were supposed to be. A duo. Together.

“Okay, Aurora.” I sniffled. “See you soon?” 

“Tomorrow?” She shook out with a broken smile and watery eyes. “W-Walk me to class? I’ll get us coffee.” 

I bit back a saddened smile, letting out a breathy chuckle as we mapped out our imaginary plan.“First thing in the morning. Don’t forget breakfast either.” 

We stared at each other for what seemed like eternity with a smile from ear to ear, then Aurora pulled me into another kiss, this time much softer and slower–like time ceased to exist, like it wasn’t ticking way too fast right now. Her lips tasted sweet, just like the end of that cursed word I mentioned earlier. I just wished that the aftermath wasn’t going to leave such a wretched, bitter taste in my mouth. 

“Harry.” It was my brother’s voice behind me this time. There was a softness to it that I hardly recognized, but it still sustained that usual coldness that his commands always had. 

I pulled apart from Aurora, quickly wiping my tears away with a sniffle while turning on my heel. Leon was standing behind us with his arms crossed, to which he slowly showed me the watch on his wrist and tapped it lightly. 

Had it already been ten minutes? 

“No…” Aurora shook her head, pulling herself in front of me. “Leon, please don’t—.” 

“Please don’t get involved in galactic matters, it doesn’t concern you.” Leon brushed off his cuffs softly, fixating his gaze on me in order to avoid Aurora’s. “We must go now.” His full coldness was back, like the softness was never even there.

“Don’t talk to her like that, Leon.” I growled through a huff, keeping my arm around her waist before turning towards her. “Aurora, I must—.” 

“No.” Aurora shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes with a faltering smile. “I’ll see you soon. Remember?” 

A small whimper left my lips, giving her a short nod before placing a delicate kiss onto her forehead, stroking her hair back carefully. It was so painful to see her like this, but I knew that was what we had to do, as much as it killed me to do it.

Maybe all those rom-coms we watched were true all along. To be young and in love was to be blissfully unaware and ignorant of reality. While I was not young, our love felt young. Way too young to have it end this soon. This should have just been the beginning.

But was that what this was–love? I had never said it out loud or even in my head before. From what I learned from the humans’ definition of the word, I think I understood it. This felt like something I had never experienced before. I was sure I had felt variations of it with my own family of beings and the occasional relation I would have with others, but it was still nothing compared to how humans experienced it. It was a lesson I could only ever be taught through experience, and that was exactly what happened as far as I was aware.

“See you soon, my Aurora.” I whispered under my breath, keeping my lips onto her forehead for just a few more moments before pulling from her. The departure of my mouth against her skin tingled sharply, aching for it again like a withdrawal.

I said nothing as Leon took my arm and pulled me down the small steps of her front porch. I dared not to look back, it would only make me want to change my mind. It would only make me act out of impulse, and not necessity, which was this. Leon and father made that abundantly clear with how much was riding on this and how much I screwed everything up.

But then again, I couldn’t help it. I had to see her face one last time, regardless of the emotional consequences. I looked back to see her sitting on her front porch steps with her hands in her face, her shoulders uncontrollably shaking from her sobs. Her face was buried partially into the palms of her hands and for a moment I felt my knees buckle underneath me. She was trying her best not to watch me, too, but she also couldn’t help but peek through her near-shut eyes and fingers.

I was supposed to be there for her. I was supposed to protect her. 

My Aurora was crying and all I could do was run away and watch it happen. 

Letting out a shaky breath, the pads of my fingertips caught the tears that spilled from my eyes as Leon and I continued deeper into the park away from the lights and cars. How jealous I was of the non-living objects that got to exist for as long as they wanted in Aurora’s neighborhood. They had no idea what kind of privilege they had to be so near.

Even when I ended things with Adhara, it did not hurt nearly as bad as the pain I was feeling right then. This pain was all consuming, it even made my hollow stomach twist in pain and my still-beating heart wrack around in my empty rib cage, bruising everything in sight. I felt the pain in my eyes, down to my fingers and to my toes. That was how I knew that this had to be what I thought it was–love. Bittersweet and all.

I’d give anything just to touch her again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Until the end of time. 

“Do you love her?” Leon broke the silence as we continued to walk deeper into the woods, giving me a short glance out of the corner of his eye with his nose in the air. 

There was that word again. Love. 

The word dangled in front of me as I stepped over the twigs and branches of the forest grounds. I hadn’t said that word out loud in forever, only in the privacy of my mind recently. The aching chest in my feeling could confirm it, alongside the ache in my reddened eyes from crying. It was weird to see how everything in me shifted when I was confronted with the thought with someone else. I didn’t realize how different it was to admit it aloud to someone else, especially someone like Leon.

When I spoke about love, I usually spoke about my family in an adoration type of way. I loved my family because I adored them, wanted to protect them, no matter how wrong they had done me, I still held them dear to my heart. Though if you asked me what the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about the word love, I would think about my Aurora now.

“Zeus, I think I fucked up.” I stopped in my tracks, palming my sweating eyes as my throat constricted suddenly. My words were near silent, lodged in my throat like it needed a pick ax to forge out. 

“How so?” Leon stopped ahead of me, turning to look at me with pinched brows. I was even more surprised he heard me.

“Because—.” I whispered out only slightly louder, dusting my forehead with my palm helplessly as I turned back to look at the direction we came. “Because I think I do love her, Leon. I—I love her…” I confirmed to myself, biting my quivering lip as I turned my head to meet eyes with Leon. “I love Aurora.” 

Leon’s solid features softened, parting his lips while he turned his head up to the sky. His features seemed to morph together with a variety of emotions, some of which I didn’t even recognize on his face. He let out a long sigh, letting me know he was still there even though he seemed absent. He seemed almost as lost as I did upon my realization about her.

How could I have not noticed it until now? My hands were always perspiring around Aurora, my heart rate was abnormally faster than it usually was which was a vast contrast to how it was when I was alone. 

It was because I loved Aurora. I fell in love with her in the process of accidentally getting to know her. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did, and there was no going back now.

But what was not to love about her? She knew half of everything I already knew. She had a deep-seeded love for astronomy. I was that astronomy. Her adoration was rooted in my history that I grew up with. She had this love for studying about what I was all of her life. Her mind alone was so beautiful, like a large cozy library with a fireplace tucked in it. I could pluck out conversations with her easily, and talking with her was never hard. We always had something to talk about. Her smile alone melted my heart and her touch always set my skin on fire, yet it would extinguish the burn in the same way.

She didn’t just make me feel love, she was love, in definition. I felt her wrap it around me every time I was around her. She spelled the word across my lips with each kiss, with each touch, and I didn’t realize I was falling into a pit of her until now. 

“You feel that strongly about her?” Leon questioned slowly, like he was deciphering his words as he spoke them.

I nodded my head, bowing it to the ground as I kicked pebbles at my feet. It reminded me of the moon rocks I would do the same thing with at home. Maybe I should have taken some of the Earth rocks with me so I would never forget the difference that these felt like.

“Then…stay.” Leon muttered.  

My head shot up as I did a double take, squinting my brows. “What?” 

“Just–” Leon sighed. “Just stay, okay? Here. I–and this is against everything I stand for, mind you, but…” He took another breath, taking a step towards me while putting his hand on my shoulder. “You can stay on the mission, under my supervision. Father will not know.” 

Instinctively I grabbed his wrist excitedly with wide eyes, pulling him closer to me. 

“Are you–are you serious? Don’t joke with me, Leon. Now’s not the time for one of your pranks–” 

“No, I’m not joking.” Leon said softly, grabbing both of my shoulders as he stared into my eyes with a serious manner. He moved my hands off of him, putting them to my sides to straighten up. “But Harry, I’m only doing this because–because I…wished that I got more time with Mathilde. I loved her just how you love Aurora.” 

My heart was pounding in my chest, and my first reaction was to turn around and run straight to Aurora’s, but before I could even think to pick my feet up, I wrapped Leon into a tight hug without hesitation. I could’ve cried then and there, but Leon wasn’t the emotional type and he hated hugs in general, so I wasn’t going to push my luck anymore than I already had tonight.

Leon chuckled lowly, something I hadn’t heard in a light year before he patted my back and pulled from me. 

“Wait, what about Father? How would we hide this from–” 

“Don’t think about that right now. I’ll make up an excuse for you.” Leon gave me the tiniest smile. “And I have a few ideas of who this informant or spy is, but I need to do some more digging. Just–go be with your love, brother. I’ll see you in a few days and we’ll have a more solid plan then. ” 

I bit my lip, closing my fists in excitement as I turned on my heel and took off running out of the woods. I didn’t think to say goodbye. I would see my brother soon like he said, but my time with Aurora was more precious to me right then. My feet brushed against the scattered leaves and branches on the forest floor, causing them to toss in the air as I picked up the velocity of my pace. 

C’mon human heart, don’t fail me now. At least not yet.

Breathing heavily, I jumped over a log and pushed past the treeline and into the open field. My heart was racing, I still wasn’t used to exerting my human body so heavily. Gravity felt so much different here. I would just note that that was on the bucket list of things I needed to do: go to the gym and run more, which was something that would help my body grow stronger. 

I saw Aurora’s apartment in the distance, and she was still sitting outside of her apartment with her hands still wiping away at her face. Astro had greeted her by her side, resting her sleepy head into her lap, lapping her tongue at one of her hands.

“Aurora!” I yelled loudly with cupped hands over my mouth. “I can’t do it. I can’t leave you yet!” My voice cracked as I slowed down my pace.

Her head slowly lifted, craning her head side to side to look for the person calling her name, until she locked her eyes directly onto me. Astro had even stood up, immediately wagging her tail violently. I chuckled breathlessly, taking a slow step while raising my hand up to wave at her with a crooked smile. She said nothing as she stood to her feet, looking as though she saw a ghost right before her. She had an uneasy expression on her face, like she couldn’t trust me already being back so soon.

And when she knew it was me, at the exact same moment, we both ran towards each other faster than we ever had before. I hadn’t run this fast since I’d seen the light guardian that one day. My lungs were burning, sweat building up on my forehead as I gained speed.

She seemed just as glad as me to have another look at one another, even if she didn’t know if it was a long-term look or not. She didn’t seem to care much at all. One more time was enough, regardless of timeframe.

“Harry!” She called out as winded as me, her legs taking her as fast as she could go. 

Astro ran alongside her, our bodies all soon to collide into each other. Even with the narrowing space between us, our speeds only dimmed slightly. When our bodies bridged the gap, it almost knocked the wind out of me. My arms tightening around her felt so surreal, somehow deeper than the one we had just shared at our last departure. This one wasn’t overshadowed by the ever growing feeling of soon-to-be loneliness that I readied myself for. It wasn’t goodbye anymore. It really was a “see you later.” 

“I’m staying.” I breathed out into her shoulder in desperate relief. “I can’t leave you yet. Leon knew it, too.” I felt tears brim against my eyes again, ready to flow past my cheeks. My nose tingled from the sensation. “I…” My words started to trail off, lumping together and coming out garbled when I tried to finish it first. I had so much more I wanted to say, so why was it so hard? I knew what it was that needed to come out.

Her forehead wrinkles became prominent as she furrowed her brows. I couldn’t help but smile even more at the doe-eyed look she had on her face. Her eyes were shining against the moonlight, and it almost felt like the moon was doing it just for me–for her. The moon wanted me to see her in the best light possible to help me find the words that desperately ached to flow out.

“I…I may not know everything about humans, but I think–” I shook my head, getting flustered at my choice of words. “No–I know…I know that I love you, Aurora. There is no other way to explain this…this feeling that is happening right now to me. It happens a lot actually. I never understood it, but I…I think I know now. It’s love.” 

My eyes had found themselves staring at her feet to avoid her reaction. I was sweating, but it wasn't from running moments ago. I was nervous again, or anxious as Aurora would call it. I rubbed my palms against my pants, still looking at her feet that were adorned with her worn houseshoes. The ones that I tried on because of how comfortable and fluffy they looked, but then soon realized that shoe sizes were a thing and often not shareable.

I mustered up the courage after a couple moments to look back at her. She was avoiding my eyes too, but she had a soft smile on her face. Her bottom lip was even tucked into her teeth, fighting away an even bigger smile. That seemed like a good sign.

When she looked at me, my heart fluttered. I didn’t look away that time, and neither did she. I was too invested in her response, desperate to hear that she felt the same way. There was no way I could feel this strongly and she didn’t feel the same. I refused to believe it.

“I love you, too, Harry.” She wrapped her arms around my waist, the old teardrops that were dried on her cheeks with caked on mascara more obvious than ever as I continued to look deeply at her. 

My hand reached up to her face, brushing a loose strand of hair from her forehead, and then soon my fingers began to trail down softly from her forehead down to her cheek. Her skin felt soft and cared for. I wanted to relish in it further, feel her even more. To remind myself that she was real and she was right here with me.

I then cupped both of my hands around her face as I pulled her in for a kiss. A small gasp left Aurora’s lips out of surprise. Maybe she was surprised I took the initiative, or maybe she was just on high alert like I was from all the emotions we had been through tonight. I didn’t care either way. As long as she was in my arms with her lips against mine, I couldn’t care about anything else. 

She was my mission to keep.

I felt a sudden wetness against my cheeks again as I continued to kiss her softly, and I pulled away out of confusion. Was I crying again? Or was she? Sweating?  Was it raining?

“Aurora?” I whispered out, crooking my head to the side as I saw fresh tears now surface. “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry…” I took a step back, unsure where I failed. How could I have messed up so soon?

She shook her head frantically, smiling again. Somehow she was smiling while crying. My, how I would never really understand humans. “No–no. I’m just really happy, I promise. C’mere.” She motioned her hands for me to come back closer again, and I followed instinctively. I still felt unsure about the situation, but her smile was hard to ignore. She wouldn’t lie to me, she must have meant it.

She squeezed against me harder into a hug, dampening my shirt from the previous spill of tears and then pulled away from me to look me in the eye. “Are you here for good? Or one more day? How long?” She sounded desperate for answers, scared that she would have to be let down, waiting to be stricken with grief once again.

“I’m not sure how long, but I’m able to stay on the mission. Under Leon. Secretly.” My smile was growing wider by the second as I spoke. Saying it out loud made it feel that much more surreal. Even on Earth I felt like I was floating higher than I had ever floated before. I didn’t even need to be in my star form either.

Without another word, she pulled herself into my chest again. Her breaths were felt through the fabric of my shirt as she breathed them out, and it felt like she was breathing life back into me. Color was being brought back to my cheeks with each second that passed in her arms. I had never felt so human in my life.

I heard the faint rustling of wind blowing through the trees around us mixed in with the sounds of our slowing breaths as we stood there in front of her door, arms wrapped tightly around each other. Neither said anything, we just stood there in a comfortable silence. The chilliness of the air was so much easier to ignore now that Aurora was at the forefront of my mind–she was all that was on my mind. The memories of strands of her hair shining against the sunlight, the scrunching of her nose right before she laughed, and the way she would purse her lips when deep in thought, all those images found itself in every crevice of my brain. She was all I could think about, nothing could distract me from her. She was my everything.

It felt like I had forever with her now, even though I knew that that wasn’t the whole truth. Even though I was back on the mission, it didn’t mean that meant forever still, and I knew that. Father could find out and have me banished in a cell, we could lose the war, and it could be over just like that. But, I now had longer than I thought before we landed, and that was the most important part. It was forever as far as I was concerned now.

“Harry?” Aurora’s soft voice was muffled against my chest, and she broke away to look me in the eye, still so close that I could see every detail in her face. “Can we go inside? It’s cold.” 

She had a smile so innocent on her face that I wanted to kiss it, feel that smile even closer on me. The darkness couldn’t even hide the smallest of dimples right above her top lip.

I nodded my head. “Of course, let’s go.”

She held on to my hand loosely, leading me inside through the door. Astro was still wagging her tail as she raced in after us. I didn’t realize something non-human could seem to miss me as well. And come to think of it, I think I missed that furry creature just as much, too.

“Hi, Astro.” I knelt down gently to pat her on her head and she lept towards me, tongue out and ready to slobber all over me. Aurora would always call that her liquid kisses, but that never sounded appetizing to me. 

I got back up.

“Do you need anything? Water? Tea? Snack?” She was rustling through her cabinets with only the stove light on to illuminate her face. I could see the faint puffiness that still surrounded her eyes from all the crying we had done. A rim of red and pink was slowly fading away, but it still lingered enough to notice it. I wondered what the state of my human body looked like. I had never cried like that before. Maybe I looked just the same as her.

It was an experience I hoped I would never have to go through again. Hopefully I would have time for a better plan next time. I really couldn’t mess anything up. At all. Not even a little.

“No.” I breathlessly laughed. She was probably too out of it to remember that I didn’t actually eat or drink. Or at least, I didn’t need to. “I’m okay right now. Are you tired? It must be late.” I searched around the room looking for any clock in sight. Finally I met my gaze to the glowing digits reading out that it was just past one in the morning.

She saw me glance towards the stove clock and looked herself.

“I’m sorry.” I remarked quietly, rubbing at my arm. I felt bad that I had woken her up just for all of this. “I hope you’re not upset.”

She scoffed, and my eyes widened, unsure why she made that noise. She laughed again. 

“No, Harry. I couldn’t be mad. I was just glad to see you.” Her smile faded and her attention from me was gone as she quieted her voice. “I thought you were gone for good. Dead, maybe.”

I bit at my lip. “I know and I am sorry. It wasn’t my fault–father found out and banned me from coming back. I didn’t leave my room that entire time…I felt…” I took a deep breath as I recalled the horrible time I spent back home. I had never experienced anything like it before. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. “I was lost. Nothing felt…right, I suppose. I felt like I wasn’t home, even though technically I was.”

You are my home, Aurora, is what I wanted to say. It’s always been you I needed.

“Do you feel at home now?” 

I looked at her and nodded my head. “Yeah, I do.”

a/n: We have some exciting news Starboy readers! @shroombloomm and I want to create a Starboy groupchat! It’ll give readers a firsthand look at sneakpeeks and also just discussions in general (although it doesn’t always have to be Starboy related lol!) If you’re interested in joining, please let Sunny or I know. We’ll be rolling it out likely within the week. Catch us also on Twitter @kwritingbooks and @shroomiebloomm

[kwritingbooks]

Chapter 21 is going to be out within the next like 30 minutes, so make sure you're caught up hehe

[kwritingbooks]

co-written by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or tumblr masterlist

The true meaning of bittersweet, something Harry was finally coming to understand.

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

Harry’s POV 

Bittersweet. 

I never knew what bittersweet was, nor had I ever heard the word until I traveled to Earth. How could something so sweet be so bitter? When I would think about sweets, I would think about the first cupcake I had with Aurora. The thick icing was overpowering, but the taste of the soft cake underneath was just enough to even it out. 

Bitter was the black coffee I drank when I stopped by the coffee shop without Aurora one time. Because of the fact that I didn’t remember the drink I had ordered with her previously, I didn't know exactly what to put in it. So, I ordered a coffee, because that word I knew for sure was a part of it. It came black, a vast difference from the blonde beverage I was accustomed to with her. It was hot, bitter, and made the roof of my mouth have an odd taste to it. 

So when Leon and I were traveling down to Earth to say goodbye to Aurora, all I could think about were those two things together: bitterness and sweetness, a cocktail of misalignment. If you would have asked me, I would’ve eaten a million sweet cupcakes until I got sick if it meant that I never had to experience the bitter taste of that bean water again.

That I knew for sure.

But those were two odds of a spectrum, and I never quite understood how things could co-exist when on either side. Now I think I understood. 

This was what bittersweet felt like, and it was painful.

When Leon told me about his past lover he had on Earth, it made me feel like we were closer, at least given that I was still a bit cold towards him. But that didn’t take away from the fact that he had hidden this from me for so long. I’d never even seen him with another star-being on our planet. I always chalked it up to him always being too busy with missions and not having enough time for any form of relationship with others. That was what he led me to believe anyway.

But now I began to wonder if it was because nobody would ever fill the Mathilde shaped hole in his heart. 

I wondered if that was going to happen to me after tonight. 

As our bodies traveled in speed that was much faster than anything that moved on Aurora’s planet below us, I couldn’t help but somehow get lost in my thoughts. What normally would have felt like fleeting moments, then felt like days spent on Earth, lost in thought.

I thought about Leon’s Mathilde. My mind warped images in my mind of what she could have looked like. According to history books I had found in Aurora’s bookshelf, people dressed differently based on where they lived and when it happened. There were no tops like Aurora would wear with her bellybutton poking out beneath the fabric–at least not in the years that Mathilde was around.

I also began to think about personality traits she must have had. Was Leon the same Leon that I knew when they were together? It was so hard to imagine Leon going out of his way and expressing his feelings, something that apparently people in relationships did on a daily basis based on the romantic comedies Aurora would have me watch with her. I grew to really like them. 

It was just hard to see Leon playing that role of a lover who would make others laugh. He would sometimes make me laugh, but there weren’t many times I could count. Usually he was figuring out how to get on father’s best side, and the other half of the time was reaping the benefits of that.

What kind of person could bring out such a different side of him? She must have been like my Aurora. Only someone full of light can bring out the light in someone else like that, like she did for me. It was a light I didn’t even know could come out. It was pure and it made me feel light on my feet, and not in the physical way of flying or falling like I was used to.

She made my experience of life much more beautiful and well lived, and in a much shorter timeframe than I had already lived elsewhere while in this shared galaxy.

That was also why I had to see her again. Even if this would be the last time ever.

When we landed, I had to rub my face to get the dirt debris off that had flung up from the sudden wind that swept us down. We landed directly in the park across the street from Aurora’s apartment, hidden off in a thick section of trees. All the neighboring houses had their lights off and their porch lights on, while the moon was just coming up over the treelines, inviting the night in. I wasn’t sure of the exact time, but I knew that it was deep in the night at this point, Leon and I made sure of it before takeoff. Usually with each landing I would be cautious on where I landed, but given the circumstances of the situation, I was a bit messy this time I had to admit. 

I was honestly surprised that Leon went through with it, but maybe he just wasn’t in the mood to argue anymore either. Or maybe he was also being stupid. That trait could easily have been genetic apparently.

I couldn’t count the amount of days, possibly weeks, that I’d gone without seeing Aurora. I would’ve said I was excited to see her again, but I feared that this was the last memory I’d ever have in her presence. I hoped she wouldn’t be too upset; I wasn’t sure I could handle having her upset as the last visual I had to remember her with.

I needed our last memory to be a good one. For both of us.

Standing across the street, lit up by the streetlights in front of us in a yellow glow, I stared eagerly at the apartment I had grown to know over the last few months. My palms were sweating nervously as I considered how that growth would soon end.

“You ready?” Leon knocked me out of my thoughts. 

I sighed in acknowledgment.

The truth was, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure I would ever be truly ready. Getting to say goodbye to Aurora was a treat, but it was a death sentence wrapped up into one. Bittersweet, it was, and painfully so. 

There were so many things we never got to do together, so many memories to be made, so many things I wanted to say, but never knew how to. 

Time was so precious, and I felt like I had wasted it. There were no repairs to be made on something that could not only be undone, but even fixed at all. That was it. No redos. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I breathed out, wiping my sweaty palms onto my jeans. “Are you–are you coming with me?” 

Leon’s stern display softened, glancing towards me out of the corner of his eye. 

“Do you want me to?” 

I thought for a moment. “How much time do I have with her?” 

Leon pulled his arm out in front of him, flicking his wrist ever so slightly to adjust his sleeve and exposed the watch on his wrist. His face twisted, lips pursed. 

I didn’t even know he kept a watch on him.

“You’ve got ten minutes before father notices we are both gone. The guards will make sure of it after that.” He dropped his arm back down to his side, his sleeve falling down to hide the wretched device that had just crushed my spirits.

Ten minutes?

If that was all I had, then I wanted to spend the time alone. I didn’t want Leon to watch over me, especially since this would be a vulnerable moment for the both of us. 

“Stay here.” I breathed quickly, now knowing I was wasting my time by standing there. I took a step, swallowing the bile in my throat as I began to walk towards the apartment, but Leon reached out and took a hold of my arm before I could go any further. 

“Stay outside. I trust you, but–” Leon flickered his gaze between me and the house. “I need to watch you.” 

Staring at Leon, his eyebrows shadowed over his eyes with a knowing look. I knew what he was thinking, he didn’t have to say it. But I knew. 

“You think I’m going to run, don’t you?” 

“I know I would’ve back then. Still would, given the chance.” Leon immediately said back, under a whisper as his lip twitched. His hand fell from my arm down to his side, taking a step back. “Now go. You’re running out of time.” 

Knowing that Leon did what was right, under what we were taught to be–right–but his heart was in the midst of running away with the woman he loved. I could understand that. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t cross my mind a time or two on the way down here. It would be easy to scoop up Aurora and run far away from here, even knowing I only had a few days to survive before having to go back home. As if Leon and father wouldn’t have found me before then anyway.

It would have been worth the trouble that I’d be in if it meant that I got to stay with her longer, though. 

My mind was racing, thoughts running in and out of my mind while I approached the building. Each step up the stairs was like a hole being dug deeper into my grave, yet I was the one who kept digging. Suddenly the thought of running away didn't sound that bad afterall, knowing that I could get a head start before Leon would notice. 

I couldn’t, though, really. I knew that, too.

Standing at the door, I looked back to Leon who was standing across the way. I gave him a short nod, to which he returned, then stared at the door ahead of me. There would never be enough time that would’ve satisfied me when saying goodbye to her. If I could make it a lifelong goodbye, I would. I’d stand here until we were both gray in the hair and using walking canes to get to and from places. We would hold hands that shook with age.

With a trembling hand, I knocked on the door and took a step back. The clock was ticking, my anxiety suddenly made me feel like emptying my hollow stomach. My thoughts soon became induced with anxiety as I began to wonder something I hadn’t considered before: what if she’s not here? What if she’s at work, or at school? What if she’s with Nina? What if she’s asleep and won’t wake up in time?

There wasn’t enough time to run around looking for her, I needed her to be home and awake.

I needed her to be here with me. 

I needed my goodbye. 

I needed to tell her–

“Harry?” 

My eyes fluttered, bringing me back from my moment in a sea of scrambled thoughts. It was surreal, my once blurry vision was now coming clear, the silhouette of her became sturdy and visible, more vibrant with color. She was standing there, doe eyed, in her pajamas with a faint smile etched on her lips. 

There she was. 

My Aurora. 

“Aurora…” I choked on my breath, taking a step toward her. 

Before I could take the leisure of making the first move, she did it for me. Aurora jumped into my arms faster than the speed of light, and I nearly melted into her touch. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around the low of her back and hold her impossibly close to me. Her scent invaded my nose, one I’d grown to like. It was the lavender vanilla scent with a hint of rose to it that I always complimented her on. 

This was where I needed to be, I couldn’t find myself to let go of her. She felt like home, but a home I felt comfort in for the first time in my two thousand years of life.

“It’s been two weeks!” Aurora croaked, pulling back from me as her hands cupped the back of my head, fingers lost into my chestnut curls. “Where have you been? Are you okay? What happened?” 

Her eyes sparkled just at the sight of me, even with her breathy words and crooked smile, I couldn’t find myself to be happy. I couldn’t find myself to be happy because the next words to come out of my mouth were going to take away the spark in her eyes, the smile on her face and the racing in her chest. 

“We…we need to talk.” I whispered lowly to her, bringing my hands up to cup the underside of her jaw as my eyes met hers. 

“Talk?” She wrapped her dainty fingers around my wrist. “Okay, we can talk. Come inside–” 

“No, I–” I looked back to Leon, which made Aurora gaze behind me as well. “I can’t. I have to be quick.” 

I watched her face fall as she noticed who it was behind me. “Harry? What’s–what’s going on? Why is your brother here?” Aurora rushed out, her hands falling to her side. “Why can’t you come inside?” She raised her hand gently to my arm, lightly motioning for me to follow after her, but I remained unmoved. It felt unnatural to fight against my instinct to go wherever she pulled me. 

But I knew I couldn’t.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping that she would somehow read my mind instead of having to say it out loud. I didn’t want to say it out loud, I shouldn’t have had to. I shouldn’t have to be doing this to begin with. This should’ve never happened. 

I was careful. 

I…was…careful. 

But never was I careful enough, was I?

“I can’t come inside because–” I swallowed the swelling feeling in my throat, blinking the emotions away. “Because they know. My father, I mean, he knows. He found out…” 

Aurora took a step back, her hand falling from my touch, and she blinked hard. “What does that mean? Can’t we–just lay low? We can be more careful, right? I can admit we were being a bit sloppy with Collins, but–”

“No.” I cut her off, shaking my head. I had to take a moment as I inhaled sharply due to the ping of pain that hit my chest so brutally after that. “No, we can’t. I–he took me off the mission, Aurora…I can’t see you again…” 

A scoff with a slight chuckle left her mouth, sending a wave of confusion coursing through my body. “Is this some sort of sick joke?” She sounded upset, but more so confused. She didn’t seem to believe me fully.

Oh did I desperately wish it was a joke, though. I stood there, tears brimming my waterline as my leg started to shake, turning my head to hide my vulnerability while chewing on the inside of my cheek. Aurora’s confused demeanor soon softened when she noticed the tear dropping from my eye and racing down the side of my cheek. 

“No…” Aurora breathed. “No, they can’t take you from me like that–from us…Earth! That’s unfair! Who’s gonna save us from those light guardians? What about the mission?!” 

“Leon…” I croaked, gesturing back towards my brother. “He’s, uh—he’s taking it over. It was my father's choice. I can’t fight it. He doesn’t even know I’m here.” 

“There has to be something we can do, right? There has to be—“ Aurora’s voice crumbled. “We’ve figured a way around everything else. Why not this, too?” 

This was exactly what I was scared of. I hoped that she wouldn’t find herself a mess in front of me, just so I could remember her to be happy. But humans were never that simple, were they? But neither was I. 

“You can’t go…Harry, look at me.” She grabbed my face softly, making me look deeply at her. Tears brimmed her eyes, matching the contrast of mine as her bottom lip quivered. Redness had spread to her cheeks, and I knew it wasn’t due to the cold air this time around.

It was hard for the both of us to hide our emotions, but my hands were shaking and I couldn’t find myself to smile for her. I tried to be strong, but the wave of sadness was stronger. It was taking me under like the waves of the ocean, each gasping breath and fighting urge, it was useless. This was much bigger than me. This was a tsunami, and no amount of swimming was going to bring me back to the surface for safety.

Pressing my forehead against hers, my fingers tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and let out a slow breath. Staring into her eyes was like dipping myself into a pool of honey, her brown eyes intoxicating me and breaking me down all at once. I barely got a breath in before she pressed her mouth hard against mine, finding her hands reaching to the back of my neck. 

My hand placed itself onto her shoulder, my other arm wrapping around her waist as I kissed her back in hopes that she could eat the words I’d never wanted to say. I didn’t care if my brother was behind me, I didn’t care if he was watching. If these were my last moments with Aurora for as long as my light continued to twinkle above, I wanted to make it last—with our final kiss, even if it broke the both of us. 

“Please don’t leave me, Starboy.” Aurora whispered against my wet lips with a choked sob, shaking her head lightly. Her voice continually broke as she fought the words out of her mouth, lip quivering. “You can’t go. What will I do? Who will I talk to every day about anything on my mind? I talk to you about things I could never say aloud to Nina sometimes. You have never once judged me, Harry. Who else will treat me how you treat me?” 

Her words hurt much deeper than they had ever felt before. I squeezed onto her tighter, trying my best to hold onto reminders of what she felt like. It was all I was going to have left.

That thought broke me.

“I can never express my sorry enough, Aurora. I never wanted to hurt you. I am so sorry. So so…sorry.” My head bowed to my shoulders as I worked to steady my voice from breaking, but to no avail. Tears were dropping on the pavement below us. “Please, just listen to me. I don’t have much time, okay?” I kept her close, fighting back the urge to collapse at the overwhelming feeling of sadness. How could humans live like this? With such emotion? It was insufferable. 

I created a small distance between us, holding onto her shoulders as they shook from her tears. It hurt so much more seeing that sadness reverberate from her chest to the tears that fell steadily down her cheeks. I could feel what she felt radiate off of her and it physically hurt my body. Bruises of her sobs punched against every part of my body as I heard them.

I wanted to yell out to the gods about how unfair this was. Was I not worthy of this love? Did I not deserve to have Aurora by my side? 

How else could they do this to me?

“Being with you, in this time, has been the greatest honor, Aurora. More than any title under my father’s kingdom could ever do for me. You’ve made me feel things that I hadn’t felt in some light years. Possibly even ever–” 

“Don’t. Don’t do this.” 

“—And I adore you, with every inch of my being. For as long as I last, I will think about you and hold your memory close to me. I will never forget you, Aurora—my Aurora.” 

She yanked her body from my grasp. “This isn’t goodbye, don’t do this! I refuse this to be a goodbye.” Aurora whimpered, I could feel her shaking from suppressing the same overwhelming feelings I had. “Don’t you dare say goodbye to me, Harry! You can’t, I won’t let you!” 

“What is this, then?” I swallowed thickly, pulling her in close again. I nudged my nose against hers with an unsteady breath, our gasps of air syncing together. I knew what she wanted, but I couldn’t find myself to give it to her. 

If I could, I would. 

I’d give my Aurora anything she wanted. 

“This is…” Her hands were everywhere, cupping my face, fingers drawing down my neck then to the back of my curls. Desperate to touch me, to remember me as much as she could before I left. “See you soon.” 

I wept out. How could three little words cause this much pain in my chest? My fingers interlocked with hers, nodding my head as strings of tears fell down my cheeks. I didn’t know if I fully believed it myself, but a part of me had to cling on to that hope. There was no way everything could align so perfectly to place me right here in this very city, to just be turned away less than a year later. This had to be predestined. 

Harry and Aurora. That was who we were supposed to be. A duo. Together.

“Okay, Aurora.” I sniffled. “See you soon?” 

“Tomorrow?” She shook out with a broken smile and watery eyes. “W-Walk me to class? I’ll get us coffee.” 

I bit back a saddened smile, letting out a breathy chuckle as we mapped out our imaginary plan.“First thing in the morning. Don’t forget breakfast either.” 

We stared at each other for what seemed like eternity with a smile from ear to ear, then Aurora pulled me into another kiss, this time much softer and slower–like time ceased to exist, like it wasn’t ticking way too fast right now. Her lips tasted sweet, just like the end of that cursed word I mentioned earlier. I just wished that the aftermath wasn’t going to leave such a wretched, bitter taste in my mouth. 

“Harry.” It was my brother’s voice behind me this time. There was a softness to it that I hardly recognized, but it still sustained that usual coldness that his commands always had. 

I pulled apart from Aurora, quickly wiping my tears away with a sniffle while turning on my heel. Leon was standing behind us with his arms crossed, to which he slowly showed me the watch on his wrist and tapped it lightly. 

Had it already been ten minutes? 

“No…” Aurora shook her head, pulling herself in front of me. “Leon, please don’t—.” 

“Please don’t get involved in galactic matters, it doesn’t concern you.” Leon brushed off his cuffs softly, fixating his gaze on me in order to avoid Aurora’s. “We must go now.” His full coldness was back, like the softness was never even there.

“Don’t talk to her like that, Leon.” I growled through a huff, keeping my arm around her waist before turning towards her. “Aurora, I must—.” 

“No.” Aurora shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes with a faltering smile. “I’ll see you soon. Remember?” 

A small whimper left my lips, giving her a short nod before placing a delicate kiss onto her forehead, stroking her hair back carefully. It was so painful to see her like this, but I knew that was what we had to do, as much as it killed me to do it.

Maybe all those rom-coms we watched were true all along. To be young and in love was to be blissfully unaware and ignorant of reality. While I was not young, our love felt young. Way too young to have it end this soon. This should have just been the beginning.

But was that what this was–love? I had never said it out loud or even in my head before. From what I learned from the humans’ definition of the word, I think I understood it. This felt like something I had never experienced before. I was sure I had felt variations of it with my own family of beings and the occasional relation I would have with others, but it was still nothing compared to how humans experienced it. It was a lesson I could only ever be taught through experience, and that was exactly what happened as far as I was aware.

“See you soon, my Aurora.” I whispered under my breath, keeping my lips onto her forehead for just a few more moments before pulling from her. The departure of my mouth against her skin tingled sharply, aching for it again like a withdrawal.

I said nothing as Leon took my arm and pulled me down the small steps of her front porch. I dared not to look back, it would only make me want to change my mind. It would only make me act out of impulse, and not necessity, which was this. Leon and father made that abundantly clear with how much was riding on this and how much I screwed everything up.

But then again, I couldn’t help it. I had to see her face one last time, regardless of the emotional consequences. I looked back to see her sitting on her front porch steps with her hands in her face, her shoulders uncontrollably shaking from her sobs. Her face was buried partially into the palms of her hands and for a moment I felt my knees buckle underneath me. She was trying her best not to watch me, too, but she also couldn’t help but peek through her near-shut eyes and fingers.

I was supposed to be there for her. I was supposed to protect her. 

My Aurora was crying and all I could do was run away and watch it happen. 

Letting out a shaky breath, the pads of my fingertips caught the tears that spilled from my eyes as Leon and I continued deeper into the park away from the lights and cars. How jealous I was of the non-living objects that got to exist for as long as they wanted in Aurora’s neighborhood. They had no idea what kind of privilege they had to be so near.

Even when I ended things with Adhara, it did not hurt nearly as bad as the pain I was feeling right then. This pain was all consuming, it even made my hollow stomach twist in pain and my still-beating heart wrack around in my empty rib cage, bruising everything in sight. I felt the pain in my eyes, down to my fingers and to my toes. That was how I knew that this had to be what I thought it was–love. Bittersweet and all.

I’d give anything just to touch her again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Until the end of time. 

“Do you love her?” Leon broke the silence as we continued to walk deeper into the woods, giving me a short glance out of the corner of his eye with his nose in the air. 

There was that word again. Love. 

The word dangled in front of me as I stepped over the twigs and branches of the forest grounds. I hadn’t said that word out loud in forever, only in the privacy of my mind recently. The aching chest in my feeling could confirm it, alongside the ache in my reddened eyes from crying. It was weird to see how everything in me shifted when I was confronted with the thought with someone else. I didn’t realize how different it was to admit it aloud to someone else, especially someone like Leon.

When I spoke about love, I usually spoke about my family in an adoration type of way. I loved my family because I adored them, wanted to protect them, no matter how wrong they had done me, I still held them dear to my heart. Though if you asked me what the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about the word love, I would think about my Aurora now.

“Zeus, I think I fucked up.” I stopped in my tracks, palming my sweating eyes as my throat constricted suddenly. My words were near silent, lodged in my throat like it needed a pick ax to forge out. 

“How so?” Leon stopped ahead of me, turning to look at me with pinched brows. I was even more surprised he heard me.

“Because—.” I whispered out only slightly louder, dusting my forehead with my palm helplessly as I turned back to look at the direction we came. “Because I think I do love her, Leon. I—I love her…” I confirmed to myself, biting my quivering lip as I turned my head to meet eyes with Leon. “I love Aurora.” 

Leon’s solid features softened, parting his lips while he turned his head up to the sky. His features seemed to morph together with a variety of emotions, some of which I didn’t even recognize on his face. He let out a long sigh, letting me know he was still there even though he seemed absent. He seemed almost as lost as I did upon my realization about her.

How could I have not noticed it until now? My hands were always perspiring around Aurora, my heart rate was abnormally faster than it usually was which was a vast contrast to how it was when I was alone. 

It was because I loved Aurora. I fell in love with her in the process of accidentally getting to know her. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did, and there was no going back now.

But what was not to love about her? She knew half of everything I already knew. She had a deep-seeded love for astronomy. I was that astronomy. Her adoration was rooted in my history that I grew up with. She had this love for studying about what I was all of her life. Her mind alone was so beautiful, like a large cozy library with a fireplace tucked in it. I could pluck out conversations with her easily, and talking with her was never hard. We always had something to talk about. Her smile alone melted my heart and her touch always set my skin on fire, yet it would extinguish the burn in the same way.

She didn’t just make me feel love, she was love, in definition. I felt her wrap it around me every time I was around her. She spelled the word across my lips with each kiss, with each touch, and I didn’t realize I was falling into a pit of her until now. 

“You feel that strongly about her?” Leon questioned slowly, like he was deciphering his words as he spoke them.

I nodded my head, bowing it to the ground as I kicked pebbles at my feet. It reminded me of the moon rocks I would do the same thing with at home. Maybe I should have taken some of the Earth rocks with me so I would never forget the difference that these felt like.

“Then…stay.” Leon muttered.  

My head shot up as I did a double take, squinting my brows. “What?” 

“Just–” Leon sighed. “Just stay, okay? Here. I–and this is against everything I stand for, mind you, but…” He took another breath, taking a step towards me while putting his hand on my shoulder. “You can stay on the mission, under my supervision. Father will not know.” 

Instinctively I grabbed his wrist excitedly with wide eyes, pulling him closer to me. 

“Are you–are you serious? Don’t joke with me, Leon. Now’s not the time for one of your pranks–” 

“No, I’m not joking.” Leon said softly, grabbing both of my shoulders as he stared into my eyes with a serious manner. He moved my hands off of him, putting them to my sides to straighten up. “But Harry, I’m only doing this because–because I…wished that I got more time with Mathilde. I loved her just how you love Aurora.” 

My heart was pounding in my chest, and my first reaction was to turn around and run straight to Aurora’s, but before I could even think to pick my feet up, I wrapped Leon into a tight hug without hesitation. I could’ve cried then and there, but Leon wasn’t the emotional type and he hated hugs in general, so I wasn’t going to push my luck anymore than I already had tonight.

Leon chuckled lowly, something I hadn’t heard in a light year before he patted my back and pulled from me. 

“Wait, what about Father? How would we hide this from–” 

“Don’t think about that right now. I’ll make up an excuse for you.” Leon gave me the tiniest smile. “And I have a few ideas of who this informant or spy is, but I need to do some more digging. Just–go be with your love, brother. I’ll see you in a few days and we’ll have a more solid plan then. ” 

I bit my lip, closing my fists in excitement as I turned on my heel and took off running out of the woods. I didn’t think to say goodbye. I would see my brother soon like he said, but my time with Aurora was more precious to me right then. My feet brushed against the scattered leaves and branches on the forest floor, causing them to toss in the air as I picked up the velocity of my pace. 

C’mon human heart, don’t fail me now. At least not yet.

Breathing heavily, I jumped over a log and pushed past the treeline and into the open field. My heart was racing, I still wasn’t used to exerting my human body so heavily. Gravity felt so much different here. I would just note that that was on the bucket list of things I needed to do: go to the gym and run more, which was something that would help my body grow stronger. 

I saw Aurora’s apartment in the distance, and she was still sitting outside of her apartment with her hands still wiping away at her face. Astro had greeted her by her side, resting her sleepy head into her lap, lapping her tongue at one of her hands.

“Aurora!” I yelled loudly with cupped hands over my mouth. “I can’t do it. I can’t leave you yet!” My voice cracked as I slowed down my pace.

Her head slowly lifted, craning her head side to side to look for the person calling her name, until she locked her eyes directly onto me. Astro had even stood up, immediately wagging her tail violently. I chuckled breathlessly, taking a slow step while raising my hand up to wave at her with a crooked smile. She said nothing as she stood to her feet, looking as though she saw a ghost right before her. She had an uneasy expression on her face, like she couldn’t trust me already being back so soon.

And when she knew it was me, at the exact same moment, we both ran towards each other faster than we ever had before. I hadn’t run this fast since I’d seen the light guardian that one day. My lungs were burning, sweat building up on my forehead as I gained speed.

She seemed just as glad as me to have another look at one another, even if she didn’t know if it was a long-term look or not. She didn’t seem to care much at all. One more time was enough, regardless of timeframe.

“Harry!” She called out as winded as me, her legs taking her as fast as she could go. 

Astro ran alongside her, our bodies all soon to collide into each other. Even with the narrowing space between us, our speeds only dimmed slightly. When our bodies bridged the gap, it almost knocked the wind out of me. My arms tightening around her felt so surreal, somehow deeper than the one we had just shared at our last departure. This one wasn’t overshadowed by the ever growing feeling of soon-to-be loneliness that I readied myself for. It wasn’t goodbye anymore. It really was a “see you later.” 

“I’m staying.” I breathed out into her shoulder in desperate relief. “I can’t leave you yet. Leon knew it, too.” I felt tears brim against my eyes again, ready to flow past my cheeks. My nose tingled from the sensation. “I…” My words started to trail off, lumping together and coming out garbled when I tried to finish it first. I had so much more I wanted to say, so why was it so hard? I knew what it was that needed to come out.

Her forehead wrinkles became prominent as she furrowed her brows. I couldn’t help but smile even more at the doe-eyed look she had on her face. Her eyes were shining against the moonlight, and it almost felt like the moon was doing it just for me–for her. The moon wanted me to see her in the best light possible to help me find the words that desperately ached to flow out.

“I…I may not know everything about humans, but I think–” I shook my head, getting flustered at my choice of words. “No–I know…I know that I love you, Aurora. There is no other way to explain this…this feeling that is happening right now to me. It happens a lot actually. I never understood it, but I…I think I know now. It’s love.” 

My eyes had found themselves staring at her feet to avoid her reaction. I was sweating, but it wasn't from running moments ago. I was nervous again, or anxious as Aurora would call it. I rubbed my palms against my pants, still looking at her feet that were adorned with her worn houseshoes. The ones that I tried on because of how comfortable and fluffy they looked, but then soon realized that shoe sizes were a thing and often not shareable.

I mustered up the courage after a couple moments to look back at her. She was avoiding my eyes too, but she had a soft smile on her face. Her bottom lip was even tucked into her teeth, fighting away an even bigger smile. That seemed like a good sign.

When she looked at me, my heart fluttered. I didn’t look away that time, and neither did she. I was too invested in her response, desperate to hear that she felt the same way. There was no way I could feel this strongly and she didn’t feel the same. I refused to believe it.

“I love you, too, Harry.” She wrapped her arms around my waist, the old teardrops that were dried on her cheeks with caked on mascara more obvious than ever as I continued to look deeply at her. 

My hand reached up to her face, brushing a loose strand of hair from her forehead, and then soon my fingers began to trail down softly from her forehead down to her cheek. Her skin felt soft and cared for. I wanted to relish in it further, feel her even more. To remind myself that she was real and she was right here with me.

I then cupped both of my hands around her face as I pulled her in for a kiss. A small gasp left Aurora’s lips out of surprise. Maybe she was surprised I took the initiative, or maybe she was just on high alert like I was from all the emotions we had been through tonight. I didn’t care either way. As long as she was in my arms with her lips against mine, I couldn’t care about anything else. 

She was my mission to keep.

I felt a sudden wetness against my cheeks again as I continued to kiss her softly, and I pulled away out of confusion. Was I crying again? Or was she? Sweating?  Was it raining?

“Aurora?” I whispered out, crooking my head to the side as I saw fresh tears now surface. “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry…” I took a step back, unsure where I failed. How could I have messed up so soon?

She shook her head frantically, smiling again. Somehow she was smiling while crying. My, how I would never really understand humans. “No–no. I’m just really happy, I promise. C’mere.” She motioned her hands for me to come back closer again, and I followed instinctively. I still felt unsure about the situation, but her smile was hard to ignore. She wouldn’t lie to me, she must have meant it.

She squeezed against me harder into a hug, dampening my shirt from the previous spill of tears and then pulled away from me to look me in the eye. “Are you here for good? Or one more day? How long?” She sounded desperate for answers, scared that she would have to be let down, waiting to be stricken with grief once again.

“I’m not sure how long, but I’m able to stay on the mission. Under Leon. Secretly.” My smile was growing wider by the second as I spoke. Saying it out loud made it feel that much more surreal. Even on Earth I felt like I was floating higher than I had ever floated before. I didn’t even need to be in my star form either.

Without another word, she pulled herself into my chest again. Her breaths were felt through the fabric of my shirt as she breathed them out, and it felt like she was breathing life back into me. Color was being brought back to my cheeks with each second that passed in her arms. I had never felt so human in my life.

I heard the faint rustling of wind blowing through the trees around us mixed in with the sounds of our slowing breaths as we stood there in front of her door, arms wrapped tightly around each other. Neither said anything, we just stood there in a comfortable silence. The chilliness of the air was so much easier to ignore now that Aurora was at the forefront of my mind–she was all that was on my mind. The memories of strands of her hair shining against the sunlight, the scrunching of her nose right before she laughed, and the way she would purse her lips when deep in thought, all those images found itself in every crevice of my brain. She was all I could think about, nothing could distract me from her. She was my everything.

It felt like I had forever with her now, even though I knew that that wasn’t the whole truth. Even though I was back on the mission, it didn’t mean that meant forever still, and I knew that. Father could find out and have me banished in a cell, we could lose the war, and it could be over just like that. But, I now had longer than I thought before we landed, and that was the most important part. It was forever as far as I was concerned now.

“Harry?” Aurora’s soft voice was muffled against my chest, and she broke away to look me in the eye, still so close that I could see every detail in her face. “Can we go inside? It’s cold.” 

She had a smile so innocent on her face that I wanted to kiss it, feel that smile even closer on me. The darkness couldn’t even hide the smallest of dimples right above her top lip.

I nodded my head. “Of course, let’s go.”

She held on to my hand loosely, leading me inside through the door. Astro was still wagging her tail as she raced in after us. I didn’t realize something non-human could seem to miss me as well. And come to think of it, I think I missed that furry creature just as much, too.

“Hi, Astro.” I knelt down gently to pat her on her head and she lept towards me, tongue out and ready to slobber all over me. Aurora would always call that her liquid kisses, but that never sounded appetizing to me. 

I got back up.

“Do you need anything? Water? Tea? Snack?” She was rustling through her cabinets with only the stove light on to illuminate her face. I could see the faint puffiness that still surrounded her eyes from all the crying we had done. A rim of red and pink was slowly fading away, but it still lingered enough to notice it. I wondered what the state of my human body looked like. I had never cried like that before. Maybe I looked just the same as her.

It was an experience I hoped I would never have to go through again. Hopefully I would have time for a better plan next time. I really couldn’t mess anything up. At all. Not even a little.

“No.” I breathlessly laughed. She was probably too out of it to remember that I didn’t actually eat or drink. Or at least, I didn’t need to. “I’m okay right now. Are you tired? It must be late.” I searched around the room looking for any clock in sight. Finally I met my gaze to the glowing digits reading out that it was just past one in the morning.

She saw me glance towards the stove clock and looked herself.

“I’m sorry.” I remarked quietly, rubbing at my arm. I felt bad that I had woken her up just for all of this. “I hope you’re not upset.”

She scoffed, and my eyes widened, unsure why she made that noise. She laughed again. 

“No, Harry. I couldn’t be mad. I was just glad to see you.” Her smile faded and her attention from me was gone as she quieted her voice. “I thought you were gone for good. Dead, maybe.”

I bit at my lip. “I know and I am sorry. It wasn’t my fault–father found out and banned me from coming back. I didn’t leave my room that entire time…I felt…” I took a deep breath as I recalled the horrible time I spent back home. I had never experienced anything like it before. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. “I was lost. Nothing felt…right, I suppose. I felt like I wasn’t home, even though technically I was.”

You are my home, Aurora, is what I wanted to say. It’s always been you I needed.

“Do you feel at home now?” 

I looked at her and nodded my head. “Yeah, I do.”

a/n: We have some exciting news Starboy readers! @shroombloomm and I want to create a Starboy groupchat! It’ll give readers a firsthand look at sneakpeeks and also just discussions in general (although it doesn’t always have to be Starboy related lol!) If you’re interested in joining, please let Sunny or I know. We’ll be rolling it out likely within the week. Catch us also on Twitter @kwritingbooks and @shroomiebloomm

[kwritingbooks]

Aurora is a twenty-one year old who lives in Yellowstone, Canada. Home of the aurora lights, Yellowstone is the perfect place to study astronomy. Born and raised in Alaska by self-proclaimed hippies, her family has always inspired her to continue her interest in the stars. Little does she know that her years of studying wouldn’t prepare her for this other-worldly phenomenon she would soon discover. A phenomenon that has bright green eyes, an odd personality, and works with her at the university’s planetarium.

———☆ co-written with @shroombloomm ☆———

Content warnings: Soft!Harry, light violence, cussing, drinking, light drug use, and sex

trailer found here

**links updated below**

Keep reading

[kwritingbooks]

co-written by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or tumblr masterlist

The true meaning of bittersweet, something Harry was finally coming to understand.

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

Harry’s POV 

Bittersweet. 

I never knew what bittersweet was, nor had I ever heard the word until I traveled to Earth. How could something so sweet be so bitter? When I would think about sweets, I would think about the first cupcake I had with Aurora. The thick icing was overpowering, but the taste of the soft cake underneath was just enough to even it out. 

Bitter was the black coffee I drank when I stopped by the coffee shop without Aurora one time. Because of the fact that I didn’t remember the drink I had ordered with her previously, I didn't know exactly what to put in it. So, I ordered a coffee, because that word I knew for sure was a part of it. It came black, a vast difference from the blonde beverage I was accustomed to with her. It was hot, bitter, and made the roof of my mouth have an odd taste to it. 

So when Leon and I were traveling down to Earth to say goodbye to Aurora, all I could think about were those two things together: bitterness and sweetness, a cocktail of misalignment. If you would have asked me, I would’ve eaten a million sweet cupcakes until I got sick if it meant that I never had to experience the bitter taste of that bean water again.

That I knew for sure.

But those were two odds of a spectrum, and I never quite understood how things could co-exist when on either side. Now I think I understood. 

This was what bittersweet felt like, and it was painful.

When Leon told me about his past lover he had on Earth, it made me feel like we were closer, at least given that I was still a bit cold towards him. But that didn’t take away from the fact that he had hidden this from me for so long. I’d never even seen him with another star-being on our planet. I always chalked it up to him always being too busy with missions and not having enough time for any form of relationship with others. That was what he led me to believe anyway.

But now I began to wonder if it was because nobody would ever fill the Mathilde shaped hole in his heart. 

I wondered if that was going to happen to me after tonight. 

As our bodies traveled in speed that was much faster than anything that moved on Aurora’s planet below us, I couldn’t help but somehow get lost in my thoughts. What normally would have felt like fleeting moments, then felt like days spent on Earth, lost in thought.

I thought about Leon’s Mathilde. My mind warped images in my mind of what she could have looked like. According to history books I had found in Aurora’s bookshelf, people dressed differently based on where they lived and when it happened. There were no tops like Aurora would wear with her bellybutton poking out beneath the fabric–at least not in the years that Mathilde was around.

I also began to think about personality traits she must have had. Was Leon the same Leon that I knew when they were together? It was so hard to imagine Leon going out of his way and expressing his feelings, something that apparently people in relationships did on a daily basis based on the romantic comedies Aurora would have me watch with her. I grew to really like them. 

It was just hard to see Leon playing that role of a lover who would make others laugh. He would sometimes make me laugh, but there weren’t many times I could count. Usually he was figuring out how to get on father’s best side, and the other half of the time was reaping the benefits of that.

What kind of person could bring out such a different side of him? She must have been like my Aurora. Only someone full of light can bring out the light in someone else like that, like she did for me. It was a light I didn’t even know could come out. It was pure and it made me feel light on my feet, and not in the physical way of flying or falling like I was used to.

She made my experience of life much more beautiful and well lived, and in a much shorter timeframe than I had already lived elsewhere while in this shared galaxy.

That was also why I had to see her again. Even if this would be the last time ever.

When we landed, I had to rub my face to get the dirt debris off that had flung up from the sudden wind that swept us down. We landed directly in the park across the street from Aurora’s apartment, hidden off in a thick section of trees. All the neighboring houses had their lights off and their porch lights on, while the moon was just coming up over the treelines, inviting the night in. I wasn’t sure of the exact time, but I knew that it was deep in the night at this point, Leon and I made sure of it before takeoff. Usually with each landing I would be cautious on where I landed, but given the circumstances of the situation, I was a bit messy this time I had to admit. 

I was honestly surprised that Leon went through with it, but maybe he just wasn’t in the mood to argue anymore either. Or maybe he was also being stupid. That trait could easily have been genetic apparently.

I couldn’t count the amount of days, possibly weeks, that I’d gone without seeing Aurora. I would’ve said I was excited to see her again, but I feared that this was the last memory I’d ever have in her presence. I hoped she wouldn’t be too upset; I wasn’t sure I could handle having her upset as the last visual I had to remember her with.

I needed our last memory to be a good one. For both of us.

Standing across the street, lit up by the streetlights in front of us in a yellow glow, I stared eagerly at the apartment I had grown to know over the last few months. My palms were sweating nervously as I considered how that growth would soon end.

“You ready?” Leon knocked me out of my thoughts. 

I sighed in acknowledgment.

The truth was, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure I would ever be truly ready. Getting to say goodbye to Aurora was a treat, but it was a death sentence wrapped up into one. Bittersweet, it was, and painfully so. 

There were so many things we never got to do together, so many memories to be made, so many things I wanted to say, but never knew how to. 

Time was so precious, and I felt like I had wasted it. There were no repairs to be made on something that could not only be undone, but even fixed at all. That was it. No redos. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I breathed out, wiping my sweaty palms onto my jeans. “Are you–are you coming with me?” 

Leon’s stern display softened, glancing towards me out of the corner of his eye. 

“Do you want me to?” 

I thought for a moment. “How much time do I have with her?” 

Leon pulled his arm out in front of him, flicking his wrist ever so slightly to adjust his sleeve and exposed the watch on his wrist. His face twisted, lips pursed. 

I didn’t even know he kept a watch on him.

“You’ve got ten minutes before father notices we are both gone. The guards will make sure of it after that.” He dropped his arm back down to his side, his sleeve falling down to hide the wretched device that had just crushed my spirits.

Ten minutes?

If that was all I had, then I wanted to spend the time alone. I didn’t want Leon to watch over me, especially since this would be a vulnerable moment for the both of us. 

“Stay here.” I breathed quickly, now knowing I was wasting my time by standing there. I took a step, swallowing the bile in my throat as I began to walk towards the apartment, but Leon reached out and took a hold of my arm before I could go any further. 

“Stay outside. I trust you, but–” Leon flickered his gaze between me and the house. “I need to watch you.” 

Staring at Leon, his eyebrows shadowed over his eyes with a knowing look. I knew what he was thinking, he didn’t have to say it. But I knew. 

“You think I’m going to run, don’t you?” 

“I know I would’ve back then. Still would, given the chance.” Leon immediately said back, under a whisper as his lip twitched. His hand fell from my arm down to his side, taking a step back. “Now go. You’re running out of time.” 

Knowing that Leon did what was right, under what we were taught to be–right–but his heart was in the midst of running away with the woman he loved. I could understand that. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t cross my mind a time or two on the way down here. It would be easy to scoop up Aurora and run far away from here, even knowing I only had a few days to survive before having to go back home. As if Leon and father wouldn’t have found me before then anyway.

It would have been worth the trouble that I’d be in if it meant that I got to stay with her longer, though. 

My mind was racing, thoughts running in and out of my mind while I approached the building. Each step up the stairs was like a hole being dug deeper into my grave, yet I was the one who kept digging. Suddenly the thought of running away didn't sound that bad afterall, knowing that I could get a head start before Leon would notice. 

I couldn’t, though, really. I knew that, too.

Standing at the door, I looked back to Leon who was standing across the way. I gave him a short nod, to which he returned, then stared at the door ahead of me. There would never be enough time that would’ve satisfied me when saying goodbye to her. If I could make it a lifelong goodbye, I would. I’d stand here until we were both gray in the hair and using walking canes to get to and from places. We would hold hands that shook with age.

With a trembling hand, I knocked on the door and took a step back. The clock was ticking, my anxiety suddenly made me feel like emptying my hollow stomach. My thoughts soon became induced with anxiety as I began to wonder something I hadn’t considered before: what if she’s not here? What if she’s at work, or at school? What if she’s with Nina? What if she’s asleep and won’t wake up in time?

There wasn’t enough time to run around looking for her, I needed her to be home and awake.

I needed her to be here with me. 

I needed my goodbye. 

I needed to tell her–

“Harry?” 

My eyes fluttered, bringing me back from my moment in a sea of scrambled thoughts. It was surreal, my once blurry vision was now coming clear, the silhouette of her became sturdy and visible, more vibrant with color. She was standing there, doe eyed, in her pajamas with a faint smile etched on her lips. 

There she was. 

My Aurora. 

“Aurora…” I choked on my breath, taking a step toward her. 

Before I could take the leisure of making the first move, she did it for me. Aurora jumped into my arms faster than the speed of light, and I nearly melted into her touch. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around the low of her back and hold her impossibly close to me. Her scent invaded my nose, one I’d grown to like. It was the lavender vanilla scent with a hint of rose to it that I always complimented her on. 

This was where I needed to be, I couldn’t find myself to let go of her. She felt like home, but a home I felt comfort in for the first time in my two thousand years of life.

“It’s been two weeks!” Aurora croaked, pulling back from me as her hands cupped the back of my head, fingers lost into my chestnut curls. “Where have you been? Are you okay? What happened?” 

Her eyes sparkled just at the sight of me, even with her breathy words and crooked smile, I couldn’t find myself to be happy. I couldn’t find myself to be happy because the next words to come out of my mouth were going to take away the spark in her eyes, the smile on her face and the racing in her chest. 

“We…we need to talk.” I whispered lowly to her, bringing my hands up to cup the underside of her jaw as my eyes met hers. 

“Talk?” She wrapped her dainty fingers around my wrist. “Okay, we can talk. Come inside–” 

“No, I–” I looked back to Leon, which made Aurora gaze behind me as well. “I can’t. I have to be quick.” 

I watched her face fall as she noticed who it was behind me. “Harry? What’s–what’s going on? Why is your brother here?” Aurora rushed out, her hands falling to her side. “Why can’t you come inside?” She raised her hand gently to my arm, lightly motioning for me to follow after her, but I remained unmoved. It felt unnatural to fight against my instinct to go wherever she pulled me. 

But I knew I couldn’t.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping that she would somehow read my mind instead of having to say it out loud. I didn’t want to say it out loud, I shouldn’t have had to. I shouldn’t have to be doing this to begin with. This should’ve never happened. 

I was careful. 

I…was…careful. 

But never was I careful enough, was I?

“I can’t come inside because–” I swallowed the swelling feeling in my throat, blinking the emotions away. “Because they know. My father, I mean, he knows. He found out…” 

Aurora took a step back, her hand falling from my touch, and she blinked hard. “What does that mean? Can’t we–just lay low? We can be more careful, right? I can admit we were being a bit sloppy with Collins, but–”

“No.” I cut her off, shaking my head. I had to take a moment as I inhaled sharply due to the ping of pain that hit my chest so brutally after that. “No, we can’t. I–he took me off the mission, Aurora…I can’t see you again…” 

A scoff with a slight chuckle left her mouth, sending a wave of confusion coursing through my body. “Is this some sort of sick joke?” She sounded upset, but more so confused. She didn’t seem to believe me fully.

Oh did I desperately wish it was a joke, though. I stood there, tears brimming my waterline as my leg started to shake, turning my head to hide my vulnerability while chewing on the inside of my cheek. Aurora’s confused demeanor soon softened when she noticed the tear dropping from my eye and racing down the side of my cheek. 

“No…” Aurora breathed. “No, they can’t take you from me like that–from us…Earth! That’s unfair! Who’s gonna save us from those light guardians? What about the mission?!” 

“Leon…” I croaked, gesturing back towards my brother. “He’s, uh—he’s taking it over. It was my father's choice. I can’t fight it. He doesn’t even know I’m here.” 

“There has to be something we can do, right? There has to be—“ Aurora’s voice crumbled. “We’ve figured a way around everything else. Why not this, too?” 

This was exactly what I was scared of. I hoped that she wouldn’t find herself a mess in front of me, just so I could remember her to be happy. But humans were never that simple, were they? But neither was I. 

“You can’t go…Harry, look at me.” She grabbed my face softly, making me look deeply at her. Tears brimmed her eyes, matching the contrast of mine as her bottom lip quivered. Redness had spread to her cheeks, and I knew it wasn’t due to the cold air this time around.

It was hard for the both of us to hide our emotions, but my hands were shaking and I couldn’t find myself to smile for her. I tried to be strong, but the wave of sadness was stronger. It was taking me under like the waves of the ocean, each gasping breath and fighting urge, it was useless. This was much bigger than me. This was a tsunami, and no amount of swimming was going to bring me back to the surface for safety.

Pressing my forehead against hers, my fingers tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and let out a slow breath. Staring into her eyes was like dipping myself into a pool of honey, her brown eyes intoxicating me and breaking me down all at once. I barely got a breath in before she pressed her mouth hard against mine, finding her hands reaching to the back of my neck. 

My hand placed itself onto her shoulder, my other arm wrapping around her waist as I kissed her back in hopes that she could eat the words I’d never wanted to say. I didn’t care if my brother was behind me, I didn’t care if he was watching. If these were my last moments with Aurora for as long as my light continued to twinkle above, I wanted to make it last—with our final kiss, even if it broke the both of us. 

“Please don’t leave me, Starboy.” Aurora whispered against my wet lips with a choked sob, shaking her head lightly. Her voice continually broke as she fought the words out of her mouth, lip quivering. “You can’t go. What will I do? Who will I talk to every day about anything on my mind? I talk to you about things I could never say aloud to Nina sometimes. You have never once judged me, Harry. Who else will treat me how you treat me?” 

Her words hurt much deeper than they had ever felt before. I squeezed onto her tighter, trying my best to hold onto reminders of what she felt like. It was all I was going to have left.

That thought broke me.

“I can never express my sorry enough, Aurora. I never wanted to hurt you. I am so sorry. So so…sorry.” My head bowed to my shoulders as I worked to steady my voice from breaking, but to no avail. Tears were dropping on the pavement below us. “Please, just listen to me. I don’t have much time, okay?” I kept her close, fighting back the urge to collapse at the overwhelming feeling of sadness. How could humans live like this? With such emotion? It was insufferable. 

I created a small distance between us, holding onto her shoulders as they shook from her tears. It hurt so much more seeing that sadness reverberate from her chest to the tears that fell steadily down her cheeks. I could feel what she felt radiate off of her and it physically hurt my body. Bruises of her sobs punched against every part of my body as I heard them.

I wanted to yell out to the gods about how unfair this was. Was I not worthy of this love? Did I not deserve to have Aurora by my side? 

How else could they do this to me?

“Being with you, in this time, has been the greatest honor, Aurora. More than any title under my father’s kingdom could ever do for me. You’ve made me feel things that I hadn’t felt in some light years. Possibly even ever–” 

“Don’t. Don’t do this.” 

“—And I adore you, with every inch of my being. For as long as I last, I will think about you and hold your memory close to me. I will never forget you, Aurora—my Aurora.” 

She yanked her body from my grasp. “This isn’t goodbye, don’t do this! I refuse this to be a goodbye.” Aurora whimpered, I could feel her shaking from suppressing the same overwhelming feelings I had. “Don’t you dare say goodbye to me, Harry! You can’t, I won’t let you!” 

“What is this, then?” I swallowed thickly, pulling her in close again. I nudged my nose against hers with an unsteady breath, our gasps of air syncing together. I knew what she wanted, but I couldn’t find myself to give it to her. 

If I could, I would. 

I’d give my Aurora anything she wanted. 

“This is…” Her hands were everywhere, cupping my face, fingers drawing down my neck then to the back of my curls. Desperate to touch me, to remember me as much as she could before I left. “See you soon.” 

I wept out. How could three little words cause this much pain in my chest? My fingers interlocked with hers, nodding my head as strings of tears fell down my cheeks. I didn’t know if I fully believed it myself, but a part of me had to cling on to that hope. There was no way everything could align so perfectly to place me right here in this very city, to just be turned away less than a year later. This had to be predestined. 

Harry and Aurora. That was who we were supposed to be. A duo. Together.

“Okay, Aurora.” I sniffled. “See you soon?” 

“Tomorrow?” She shook out with a broken smile and watery eyes. “W-Walk me to class? I’ll get us coffee.” 

I bit back a saddened smile, letting out a breathy chuckle as we mapped out our imaginary plan.“First thing in the morning. Don’t forget breakfast either.” 

We stared at each other for what seemed like eternity with a smile from ear to ear, then Aurora pulled me into another kiss, this time much softer and slower–like time ceased to exist, like it wasn’t ticking way too fast right now. Her lips tasted sweet, just like the end of that cursed word I mentioned earlier. I just wished that the aftermath wasn’t going to leave such a wretched, bitter taste in my mouth. 

“Harry.” It was my brother’s voice behind me this time. There was a softness to it that I hardly recognized, but it still sustained that usual coldness that his commands always had. 

I pulled apart from Aurora, quickly wiping my tears away with a sniffle while turning on my heel. Leon was standing behind us with his arms crossed, to which he slowly showed me the watch on his wrist and tapped it lightly. 

Had it already been ten minutes? 

“No…” Aurora shook her head, pulling herself in front of me. “Leon, please don’t—.” 

“Please don’t get involved in galactic matters, it doesn’t concern you.” Leon brushed off his cuffs softly, fixating his gaze on me in order to avoid Aurora’s. “We must go now.” His full coldness was back, like the softness was never even there.

“Don’t talk to her like that, Leon.” I growled through a huff, keeping my arm around her waist before turning towards her. “Aurora, I must—.” 

“No.” Aurora shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes with a faltering smile. “I’ll see you soon. Remember?” 

A small whimper left my lips, giving her a short nod before placing a delicate kiss onto her forehead, stroking her hair back carefully. It was so painful to see her like this, but I knew that was what we had to do, as much as it killed me to do it.

Maybe all those rom-coms we watched were true all along. To be young and in love was to be blissfully unaware and ignorant of reality. While I was not young, our love felt young. Way too young to have it end this soon. This should have just been the beginning.

But was that what this was–love? I had never said it out loud or even in my head before. From what I learned from the humans’ definition of the word, I think I understood it. This felt like something I had never experienced before. I was sure I had felt variations of it with my own family of beings and the occasional relation I would have with others, but it was still nothing compared to how humans experienced it. It was a lesson I could only ever be taught through experience, and that was exactly what happened as far as I was aware.

“See you soon, my Aurora.” I whispered under my breath, keeping my lips onto her forehead for just a few more moments before pulling from her. The departure of my mouth against her skin tingled sharply, aching for it again like a withdrawal.

I said nothing as Leon took my arm and pulled me down the small steps of her front porch. I dared not to look back, it would only make me want to change my mind. It would only make me act out of impulse, and not necessity, which was this. Leon and father made that abundantly clear with how much was riding on this and how much I screwed everything up.

But then again, I couldn’t help it. I had to see her face one last time, regardless of the emotional consequences. I looked back to see her sitting on her front porch steps with her hands in her face, her shoulders uncontrollably shaking from her sobs. Her face was buried partially into the palms of her hands and for a moment I felt my knees buckle underneath me. She was trying her best not to watch me, too, but she also couldn’t help but peek through her near-shut eyes and fingers.

I was supposed to be there for her. I was supposed to protect her. 

My Aurora was crying and all I could do was run away and watch it happen. 

Letting out a shaky breath, the pads of my fingertips caught the tears that spilled from my eyes as Leon and I continued deeper into the park away from the lights and cars. How jealous I was of the non-living objects that got to exist for as long as they wanted in Aurora’s neighborhood. They had no idea what kind of privilege they had to be so near.

Even when I ended things with Adhara, it did not hurt nearly as bad as the pain I was feeling right then. This pain was all consuming, it even made my hollow stomach twist in pain and my still-beating heart wrack around in my empty rib cage, bruising everything in sight. I felt the pain in my eyes, down to my fingers and to my toes. That was how I knew that this had to be what I thought it was–love. Bittersweet and all.

I’d give anything just to touch her again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Until the end of time. 

“Do you love her?” Leon broke the silence as we continued to walk deeper into the woods, giving me a short glance out of the corner of his eye with his nose in the air. 

There was that word again. Love. 

The word dangled in front of me as I stepped over the twigs and branches of the forest grounds. I hadn’t said that word out loud in forever, only in the privacy of my mind recently. The aching chest in my feeling could confirm it, alongside the ache in my reddened eyes from crying. It was weird to see how everything in me shifted when I was confronted with the thought with someone else. I didn’t realize how different it was to admit it aloud to someone else, especially someone like Leon.

When I spoke about love, I usually spoke about my family in an adoration type of way. I loved my family because I adored them, wanted to protect them, no matter how wrong they had done me, I still held them dear to my heart. Though if you asked me what the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about the word love, I would think about my Aurora now.

“Zeus, I think I fucked up.” I stopped in my tracks, palming my sweating eyes as my throat constricted suddenly. My words were near silent, lodged in my throat like it needed a pick ax to forge out. 

“How so?” Leon stopped ahead of me, turning to look at me with pinched brows. I was even more surprised he heard me.

“Because—.” I whispered out only slightly louder, dusting my forehead with my palm helplessly as I turned back to look at the direction we came. “Because I think I do love her, Leon. I—I love her…” I confirmed to myself, biting my quivering lip as I turned my head to meet eyes with Leon. “I love Aurora.” 

Leon’s solid features softened, parting his lips while he turned his head up to the sky. His features seemed to morph together with a variety of emotions, some of which I didn’t even recognize on his face. He let out a long sigh, letting me know he was still there even though he seemed absent. He seemed almost as lost as I did upon my realization about her.

How could I have not noticed it until now? My hands were always perspiring around Aurora, my heart rate was abnormally faster than it usually was which was a vast contrast to how it was when I was alone. 

It was because I loved Aurora. I fell in love with her in the process of accidentally getting to know her. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did, and there was no going back now.

But what was not to love about her? She knew half of everything I already knew. She had a deep-seeded love for astronomy. I was that astronomy. Her adoration was rooted in my history that I grew up with. She had this love for studying about what I was all of her life. Her mind alone was so beautiful, like a large cozy library with a fireplace tucked in it. I could pluck out conversations with her easily, and talking with her was never hard. We always had something to talk about. Her smile alone melted my heart and her touch always set my skin on fire, yet it would extinguish the burn in the same way.

She didn’t just make me feel love, she was love, in definition. I felt her wrap it around me every time I was around her. She spelled the word across my lips with each kiss, with each touch, and I didn’t realize I was falling into a pit of her until now. 

“You feel that strongly about her?” Leon questioned slowly, like he was deciphering his words as he spoke them.

I nodded my head, bowing it to the ground as I kicked pebbles at my feet. It reminded me of the moon rocks I would do the same thing with at home. Maybe I should have taken some of the Earth rocks with me so I would never forget the difference that these felt like.

“Then…stay.” Leon muttered.  

My head shot up as I did a double take, squinting my brows. “What?” 

“Just–” Leon sighed. “Just stay, okay? Here. I–and this is against everything I stand for, mind you, but…” He took another breath, taking a step towards me while putting his hand on my shoulder. “You can stay on the mission, under my supervision. Father will not know.” 

Instinctively I grabbed his wrist excitedly with wide eyes, pulling him closer to me. 

“Are you–are you serious? Don’t joke with me, Leon. Now’s not the time for one of your pranks–” 

“No, I’m not joking.” Leon said softly, grabbing both of my shoulders as he stared into my eyes with a serious manner. He moved my hands off of him, putting them to my sides to straighten up. “But Harry, I’m only doing this because–because I…wished that I got more time with Mathilde. I loved her just how you love Aurora.” 

My heart was pounding in my chest, and my first reaction was to turn around and run straight to Aurora’s, but before I could even think to pick my feet up, I wrapped Leon into a tight hug without hesitation. I could’ve cried then and there, but Leon wasn’t the emotional type and he hated hugs in general, so I wasn’t going to push my luck anymore than I already had tonight.

Leon chuckled lowly, something I hadn’t heard in a light year before he patted my back and pulled from me. 

“Wait, what about Father? How would we hide this from–” 

“Don’t think about that right now. I’ll make up an excuse for you.” Leon gave me the tiniest smile. “And I have a few ideas of who this informant or spy is, but I need to do some more digging. Just–go be with your love, brother. I’ll see you in a few days and we’ll have a more solid plan then. ” 

I bit my lip, closing my fists in excitement as I turned on my heel and took off running out of the woods. I didn’t think to say goodbye. I would see my brother soon like he said, but my time with Aurora was more precious to me right then. My feet brushed against the scattered leaves and branches on the forest floor, causing them to toss in the air as I picked up the velocity of my pace. 

C’mon human heart, don’t fail me now. At least not yet.

Breathing heavily, I jumped over a log and pushed past the treeline and into the open field. My heart was racing, I still wasn’t used to exerting my human body so heavily. Gravity felt so much different here. I would just note that that was on the bucket list of things I needed to do: go to the gym and run more, which was something that would help my body grow stronger. 

I saw Aurora’s apartment in the distance, and she was still sitting outside of her apartment with her hands still wiping away at her face. Astro had greeted her by her side, resting her sleepy head into her lap, lapping her tongue at one of her hands.

“Aurora!” I yelled loudly with cupped hands over my mouth. “I can’t do it. I can’t leave you yet!” My voice cracked as I slowed down my pace.

Her head slowly lifted, craning her head side to side to look for the person calling her name, until she locked her eyes directly onto me. Astro had even stood up, immediately wagging her tail violently. I chuckled breathlessly, taking a slow step while raising my hand up to wave at her with a crooked smile. She said nothing as she stood to her feet, looking as though she saw a ghost right before her. She had an uneasy expression on her face, like she couldn’t trust me already being back so soon.

And when she knew it was me, at the exact same moment, we both ran towards each other faster than we ever had before. I hadn’t run this fast since I’d seen the light guardian that one day. My lungs were burning, sweat building up on my forehead as I gained speed.

She seemed just as glad as me to have another look at one another, even if she didn’t know if it was a long-term look or not. She didn’t seem to care much at all. One more time was enough, regardless of timeframe.

“Harry!” She called out as winded as me, her legs taking her as fast as she could go. 

Astro ran alongside her, our bodies all soon to collide into each other. Even with the narrowing space between us, our speeds only dimmed slightly. When our bodies bridged the gap, it almost knocked the wind out of me. My arms tightening around her felt so surreal, somehow deeper than the one we had just shared at our last departure. This one wasn’t overshadowed by the ever growing feeling of soon-to-be loneliness that I readied myself for. It wasn’t goodbye anymore. It really was a “see you later.” 

“I’m staying.” I breathed out into her shoulder in desperate relief. “I can’t leave you yet. Leon knew it, too.” I felt tears brim against my eyes again, ready to flow past my cheeks. My nose tingled from the sensation. “I…” My words started to trail off, lumping together and coming out garbled when I tried to finish it first. I had so much more I wanted to say, so why was it so hard? I knew what it was that needed to come out.

Her forehead wrinkles became prominent as she furrowed her brows. I couldn’t help but smile even more at the doe-eyed look she had on her face. Her eyes were shining against the moonlight, and it almost felt like the moon was doing it just for me–for her. The moon wanted me to see her in the best light possible to help me find the words that desperately ached to flow out.

“I…I may not know everything about humans, but I think–” I shook my head, getting flustered at my choice of words. “No–I know…I know that I love you, Aurora. There is no other way to explain this…this feeling that is happening right now to me. It happens a lot actually. I never understood it, but I…I think I know now. It’s love.” 

My eyes had found themselves staring at her feet to avoid her reaction. I was sweating, but it wasn't from running moments ago. I was nervous again, or anxious as Aurora would call it. I rubbed my palms against my pants, still looking at her feet that were adorned with her worn houseshoes. The ones that I tried on because of how comfortable and fluffy they looked, but then soon realized that shoe sizes were a thing and often not shareable.

I mustered up the courage after a couple moments to look back at her. She was avoiding my eyes too, but she had a soft smile on her face. Her bottom lip was even tucked into her teeth, fighting away an even bigger smile. That seemed like a good sign.

When she looked at me, my heart fluttered. I didn’t look away that time, and neither did she. I was too invested in her response, desperate to hear that she felt the same way. There was no way I could feel this strongly and she didn’t feel the same. I refused to believe it.

“I love you, too, Harry.” She wrapped her arms around my waist, the old teardrops that were dried on her cheeks with caked on mascara more obvious than ever as I continued to look deeply at her. 

My hand reached up to her face, brushing a loose strand of hair from her forehead, and then soon my fingers began to trail down softly from her forehead down to her cheek. Her skin felt soft and cared for. I wanted to relish in it further, feel her even more. To remind myself that she was real and she was right here with me.

I then cupped both of my hands around her face as I pulled her in for a kiss. A small gasp left Aurora’s lips out of surprise. Maybe she was surprised I took the initiative, or maybe she was just on high alert like I was from all the emotions we had been through tonight. I didn’t care either way. As long as she was in my arms with her lips against mine, I couldn’t care about anything else. 

She was my mission to keep.

I felt a sudden wetness against my cheeks again as I continued to kiss her softly, and I pulled away out of confusion. Was I crying again? Or was she? Sweating?  Was it raining?

“Aurora?” I whispered out, crooking my head to the side as I saw fresh tears now surface. “Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry…” I took a step back, unsure where I failed. How could I have messed up so soon?

She shook her head frantically, smiling again. Somehow she was smiling while crying. My, how I would never really understand humans. “No–no. I’m just really happy, I promise. C’mere.” She motioned her hands for me to come back closer again, and I followed instinctively. I still felt unsure about the situation, but her smile was hard to ignore. She wouldn’t lie to me, she must have meant it.

She squeezed against me harder into a hug, dampening my shirt from the previous spill of tears and then pulled away from me to look me in the eye. “Are you here for good? Or one more day? How long?” She sounded desperate for answers, scared that she would have to be let down, waiting to be stricken with grief once again.

“I’m not sure how long, but I’m able to stay on the mission. Under Leon. Secretly.” My smile was growing wider by the second as I spoke. Saying it out loud made it feel that much more surreal. Even on Earth I felt like I was floating higher than I had ever floated before. I didn’t even need to be in my star form either.

Without another word, she pulled herself into my chest again. Her breaths were felt through the fabric of my shirt as she breathed them out, and it felt like she was breathing life back into me. Color was being brought back to my cheeks with each second that passed in her arms. I had never felt so human in my life.

I heard the faint rustling of wind blowing through the trees around us mixed in with the sounds of our slowing breaths as we stood there in front of her door, arms wrapped tightly around each other. Neither said anything, we just stood there in a comfortable silence. The chilliness of the air was so much easier to ignore now that Aurora was at the forefront of my mind–she was all that was on my mind. The memories of strands of her hair shining against the sunlight, the scrunching of her nose right before she laughed, and the way she would purse her lips when deep in thought, all those images found itself in every crevice of my brain. She was all I could think about, nothing could distract me from her. She was my everything.

It felt like I had forever with her now, even though I knew that that wasn’t the whole truth. Even though I was back on the mission, it didn’t mean that meant forever still, and I knew that. Father could find out and have me banished in a cell, we could lose the war, and it could be over just like that. But, I now had longer than I thought before we landed, and that was the most important part. It was forever as far as I was concerned now.

“Harry?” Aurora’s soft voice was muffled against my chest, and she broke away to look me in the eye, still so close that I could see every detail in her face. “Can we go inside? It’s cold.” 

She had a smile so innocent on her face that I wanted to kiss it, feel that smile even closer on me. The darkness couldn’t even hide the smallest of dimples right above her top lip.

I nodded my head. “Of course, let’s go.”

She held on to my hand loosely, leading me inside through the door. Astro was still wagging her tail as she raced in after us. I didn’t realize something non-human could seem to miss me as well. And come to think of it, I think I missed that furry creature just as much, too.

“Hi, Astro.” I knelt down gently to pat her on her head and she lept towards me, tongue out and ready to slobber all over me. Aurora would always call that her liquid kisses, but that never sounded appetizing to me. 

I got back up.

“Do you need anything? Water? Tea? Snack?” She was rustling through her cabinets with only the stove light on to illuminate her face. I could see the faint puffiness that still surrounded her eyes from all the crying we had done. A rim of red and pink was slowly fading away, but it still lingered enough to notice it. I wondered what the state of my human body looked like. I had never cried like that before. Maybe I looked just the same as her.

It was an experience I hoped I would never have to go through again. Hopefully I would have time for a better plan next time. I really couldn’t mess anything up. At all. Not even a little.

“No.” I breathlessly laughed. She was probably too out of it to remember that I didn’t actually eat or drink. Or at least, I didn’t need to. “I’m okay right now. Are you tired? It must be late.” I searched around the room looking for any clock in sight. Finally I met my gaze to the glowing digits reading out that it was just past one in the morning.

She saw me glance towards the stove clock and looked herself.

“I’m sorry.” I remarked quietly, rubbing at my arm. I felt bad that I had woken her up just for all of this. “I hope you’re not upset.”

She scoffed, and my eyes widened, unsure why she made that noise. She laughed again. 

“No, Harry. I couldn’t be mad. I was just glad to see you.” Her smile faded and her attention from me was gone as she quieted her voice. “I thought you were gone for good. Dead, maybe.”

I bit at my lip. “I know and I am sorry. It wasn’t my fault–father found out and banned me from coming back. I didn’t leave my room that entire time…I felt…” I took a deep breath as I recalled the horrible time I spent back home. I had never experienced anything like it before. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. “I was lost. Nothing felt…right, I suppose. I felt like I wasn’t home, even though technically I was.”

You are my home, Aurora, is what I wanted to say. It’s always been you I needed.

“Do you feel at home now?” 

I looked at her and nodded my head. “Yeah, I do.”

a/n: We have some exciting news Starboy readers! @shroombloomm and I want to create a Starboy groupchat! It’ll give readers a firsthand look at sneakpeeks and also just discussions in general (although it doesn’t always have to be Starboy related lol!) If you’re interested in joining, please let Sunny or I know. We’ll be rolling it out likely within the week. Catch us also on Twitter @kwritingbooks and @shroomiebloomm

[kwritingbooks]

Be there or be square as they say 💫

CHAPTER 20

FEB 27TH, 2023

@shroombloomm

[kwritingbooks]

I just caught up to This Was Home and I’m obsessed! You’re so talented and I can’t wait for more !!!

Yay!! So glad you’ve been liking it 😚 Tysm, I can’t wait to update more too!

[kwritingbooks]

Aurora is a twenty-one year old who lives in Yellowstone, Canada. Home of the aurora lights, Yellowstone is the perfect place to study astronomy. Born and raised in Alaska by self-proclaimed hippies, her family has always inspired her to continue her interest in the stars. Little does she know that her years of studying wouldn’t prepare her for this other-worldly phenomenon she would soon discover. A phenomenon that has bright green eyes, an odd personality, and works with her at the university’s planetarium.

———☆ co-written with @shroombloomm ☆———

Content warnings: Soft!Harry, light violence, cussing, drinking, light drug use, and sex

trailer found here

**links updated below**

Keep reading

[kwritingbooks]

C H A P T E R • 3 1 • T E A S E R

“We were a perfect match to completely fuck with each other’s emotions, and it was turning out to become just that.”

plot: Apocalyptic, dystopian world ran by creatures called “Crawlers” where a girl name Brinley and a guy named Harry find eachother in an odd way—a way neither of them planned anyway.

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** OUT 02/20/23 **

[kwritingbooks]

OUT NOW HERE

[kwritingbooks]

C H A P T E R • 3 1 • T E A S E R

“We were a perfect match to completely fuck with each other’s emotions, and it was turning out to become just that.”

plot: Apocalyptic, dystopian world ran by creatures called “Crawlers” where a girl name Brinley and a guy named Harry find eachother in an odd way—a way neither of them planned anyway.

+ wattpad

+ tumblr masterpost

+ twitter

** OUT 02/20/23 **