chokehold @kwyounghyun - Tumblr Blog

HAYUN !

to say that hayun is confused would be an understatement. he’s not really sure who this person is, or why exactly they’re looking at him like this, but he doesn’t say anything about it, tilting his head slightly in curious response instead. the other male seems to be lost in staring at him, and hayun isn’t really sure if there’s something fascinating about his face or maybe the remnants of his lunch that he’d missed? but lunch had been hours ago, so somehow he doubts that’s the case. there must be a good reason, hayun thinks.

the surprised reaction from the other male catches hayun off guard, and his eyes widen slightly in bewilderment as he lowers the book he’s holding slowly, very confused by this strange male who had approached him to help and yet has only confused him thus far instead of actually helping with anything. “… yes?” he murmurs in befuddlement, his eyebrows drawing together slightly in a puzzled but gentle manner, glancing curiously at the other as the stranger takes a book, shelving it.

the encounter only gets stranger and stranger as the other asks if hayun knows who he is, and hayun has studied his face over the past few minutes, but he still has absolutely no idea who in the world the other is and why he’s acting so strangely. “… no, i’m sorry… should i?” he asks slowly, growing more and more confused by this rather baffling person who had offered him help only to ask such strange questions.

"i’m ahn younghyun.“

at those words, hayun’s brain screeches to a stop, his expression freezing as he processes the words and exactly what they mean. it takes a moment for his brain to restart before his lips curve up slightly into a sad smile, his expression softening as he meets the other’s eyes.

"so you’re younghyun.” his voice isn’t angry or bitter, but it’s very soft, making it incredibly hard to discern exactly what’s in his mind at the moment.

somewhere out there, it's possible that there exists an ideal world where younghyun managed to follow through with the step-by-step plan he had concocted in his head in order to face hayun properly. complete with a proper apology, something that he can actually offer the other and a thorough method for him to make amends in a way that isn't conceited or self-serving. but that's not the world he lives in right now, this is where younghyun blurts out a terrible and quick apology and has to make up for it.

somewhere out there, a world where younghyun put down that bottle also probably exists—but he's here to do what he knows he should; fix his mistakes, face the consequences of his actions. don't run away now.

younghyun fully expects an outburst of a reaction—younghyun would have accepted that, wouldn't even hold it against hayun. he was the one who ruined hayun's life, after all. maybe he'd flinch when he hears a scream, but he'd listen to all hayun had to say regardless. but that's not what he gets ( although younghyun flinches regardless ).

and now he's back where he started: out of words.

"ah—yeah. that's... me." he can't tell what hayun is thinking, but the soft tone that hayun takes on confuses him even further. "i'm the one who..." he stops himself, because hayun doesn't need a reminder on what he's going through right now—what younghyun had put him through. "i'm sorry. and i know words don't mean anything without actions, but... i want to help you. of course—only if you want me to."

he's chewing on his bottom lip enough that it'll go red. "like... like with the books. and other things. anything."

#( hayun * 001 )#kwhayun #( thr. )#/ im dyniggg hi! hello there #( queue. )

JINWOO !

( tw // mentions of alcoholism, drunk driving, car accidents )

there’s stupidity, and then there’s willful ignorance. jinwoo certainly knows which of the two he detests more. he’s never been able to abide by people who know that what they’re doing is wrong and yet they continue to do it. but maybe that’s why he’d genuinely managed to become and stay friends with younghyun — despite the other boy’s privileged upbringing and the ignorance that often leads to, younghyun has always been relatively down-to-earth.

ruining someone’s life, though? because of drunken idiocy? that would have been grounds for jinwoo to cut ties with him when he’d heard about it, if younghyun hadn’t called him blubbering in tears and remorse. the thing with younghyun is that both he and suji, who had funnily enough both been friends with him before meeting each other, have told the other so many times that alcohol isn’t the solution to his problems.

but younghyun had never listened to them until it was too late. the call that jinwoo had gotten in the morning had scared him, the sound of the other sobbing on the end of the line, barely able to piece together what younghyun was choking out until he did. he had recoiled, shocked, before he had pieced himself back together to be the support that younghyun needed.

not that it had stopped him from calling the other stupid before asking what he was going to do now. the deed was done. it was irreversible. what mattered is what younghyun chose to do. “i want to apologize…” the other had said, and jinwoo had nodded. “that’s what you should do. at the very least.” neither of them had expected younghyun to fail his exams and then for his parents to ship him off to the military.

when the message comes in from the other, a smile spreads across jinwoo’s face. not that he’ll admit it, of course. and certainly not to younghyun’s face.

✉️ MESSAGE TO ··· 안영현 ( 바보 ) ↪ that depends… ↪ are you done being stupid yet?

the best thing about friends is that they are there for you when you need them to be. but, that doesn’t mean they won’t call you out on your bullshit. the right friends—who genuinely do care and put in effort to show it—wouldn’t stay quiet and just allow you to fuck up. they’ll speak up, they’ll nag you, they’ll tell you if you’re doing something wrong. jinwoo was, thankfully, that type of friend that younghyun needed.

too bad younghyun didn’t listen. not until it’s too late, at least. he can’t take it back now and he doesn’t want to wallow in his own pool of self-pity. it shouldn’t be about younghyun.

honestly, if jinwoo—and by proximity, suji—chose to drop him right there and then after the tearful phone call, younghyun would have understood. he believes it would have been justified, even. but they stood by him, even as he was drafted to the military and could only contact them every now and then.

yes, younghyun misses them. but he also had to feel jinwoo’s support in real time—physically, before he moves forward.

MESSAGE TO: 윤진우

> well i’m trying to not do anything stupid > but i think you’re the only one who can judge that > i also probably need someone who isn’t stupid to hint me towards the smart direction > you know... someone like yoon jinwoo. ever heard of him?

#( jinwoo * 001 )#( thr. )#kwjinwoo

HAYUN !

( tw // mentions of car accident, drunk driving, thoughts of death )

the past year and a half have been somewhat surreal for hayun. it had all happened so quickly, in the blink of an eye, almost before he had realized what was happening.

that’s a lie — hayun doesn’t think he’s ever going to forget the sight of the headlights screaming towards him and the gripping panic that had clutched his heart as he realized he was most likely going to die.

he hadn’t. but there have been times he wondered if he wouldn’t have been better off if he had. he had gone from being a taekwondo national representative who had competed on behalf of korea and won several gold medals, one who was preparing for the 2024 summer olympics — and then he was nothing. he couldn’t even walk, at first. it hasn’t been easy to face the reality that maybe — maybe, the sport he has loved since childhood is something he may not actually be able to return to. ever.

it would have been so easy to just be bitter. after all, whose fault is it that hayun’s car was struck head-on? whose fault was it that he suffered injuries that had nearly ended his ability to walk, let alone do taekwondo? who was the one driving drunk? it would be so easy to blame them.

it would have been so easy to blame ahn younghyun for ruining his life.

but hayun has never been that kind of person, much to his sister’s consternation. hayun had despaired over the loss of his beloved sport and the opportunities he would miss, but when his parents had filled him in on what had happened while he was in surgery and unconscious, he hadn’t been able to find it in himself to curse the other’s name. instead, he’d just felt sad. that sadness had turned into resignation, which had built into a determination not to give up there — that there was still something he could do, even if the olympics were out of his grasp.

but it’s been a year and a half and the progress he has been making has felt somewhat slow. there are days when he’s discouraged, but although younghyun has yet to show his face (a friend had said he was in the military), hayun has learned, for the most part, to accept that recovery is going to be a long path.

so it’s patiently that he’s slowly putting the books he had asked yohan to help him get back onto the shelves, each reach up straining his still weak back, and even the brace that he’s wearing doesn’t help when something is out of his range. but he moves slowly, carefully stretching slowly and sliding the book back into the correct position — one by one.

there’s a voice from behind him, and he relaxes from where he’d been about to stretch up for another book. there’s an unfamiliar face there, and he offers the male a grateful smile. “if you wouldn’t mind, that would be very nice.”

now that younghyun finds himself here, with hayun's attention drawn to him, finding no contempt in those kind eyes—younghyun is suddenly at a lost for words. tongue-tied, consumed by the urge to look away, at the very least. he tells himself it must be because hayun doesn't recognize his face, although that may just be wishful thinking on his part. younghyun remembers practicing this scene over and over again in his head and with his small pocket mirror back in camp, but it all flew out of his head in this moment.

typical, really. it always goes back to square one when it comes to himself.

"really?" the surprise comes out of younghyun before he could take it back, and he's probably acting like a weirdo above all. he swallows the lump in his throat—tries to—and wipes the sweat on his palms against his pants before taking one book, the one hayun seems to be aiming for.

it's not a normal response for someone to question another's willingness to accept help so easily. younghyun has to accept that he's already making a mess on his first attempt. "i'm sorry, it's just—uh," he stumbles over his own words, returning the book onto the shelves simply for something to do with his hands on top of to help the other. he takes a few quick breaths, though it doesn't work to calm the anxious stutters in his chest.

he doesn't know where to start, so he blurts out, "do you... know who i am?" an ominous question, seeming arrogant out of context if it weren't for the tremble in his voice. younghyun chooses this moment to direct his gaze to the floor; coward that he is. "i'm sorry, that's not what i meant either." a few taps of his fingers against the wooden shelves, another nervous tick.

"i'm—i'm ahn younghyun." the sound of his own name feels like a curse, but there's no changing who he is. what he has done. "and i'm... i'm sorry." he tries to keep his voice firm and sincere, but there's a waver there, born out of fear and contempt reserved only for himself.

#( hayun * 001 )#kwhayun #( thr. )#/ hayun double feature...

if you could change a moment in your life, what would it be?

now that he's thinking about it properly, there are several moments within his life that he'd like to revert, if possible. but if he would only be given one chance, then it has to be that. the greatest mistake of his life. something that could have been avoided.

“it’s... kind of simple, really.” and yet, he didn’t do it. a testament to his stupidity and lack of critical thinking. “i just wished i didn’t get behind the wheel this one particular night,” he mumbles, disappointment clear in his voice, directed towards himself and no one else.

“or if i could go even further, i’d stop myself from picking up my first glass of alcohol. i think things would end up a lot better these days if i had done that.”

#kw: truth time

kwuevents

truth time!

it’s time for your character to get a little open and honest – it’s truth time! you are free to use this opportunity to ask the different muses in kyungwon, various questions that you’re curious about, or that may help with the character’s development!

please reblog this if you’d like for your character to take part in this event.

PLEASE READ OOC INFORMATION UNDER THE CUT!

Keep reading

#yaaaaaa

NOAH !

› hits just right

✨ —— it’s 4am again / @kwyounghyun

huwutao Genshin Impact — 13 hours

honestly speaking, he hadn’t actually meant to play for this long. he had been a bit behind on all of the new archon quest since the semester had started and had only fallen more and more behind as projects and assignments and quizzes piled up. so there’s so much he needs to catch up on. he’s barely been able to keep on top of doing his daily commissions and using resin everyday. of course he did do it, but it was a bit of a struggle.

either way, he had had a free day today—class had been cancelled for whatever reason—and he had easily finished the make-up assignment before deciding that yes, today was a good day to catch up on the hit game genshin impact. so he had started with his comms, and used a handful of resin before settling down with some chips and a water bottle to start playing through the story. before he knew it, an hour had passed. and then two hours. then five. then ten.

he’s not even paying attention to the time right now, his head just full of zhongli’s talking and hu tao’s hilichurl song when he hears a faint ping that sounds like discord. pulling slightly out of his reverie, he switches tabs for a moment to check.

“younghyun …?” noah mumbles aloud, grabbing for his waterbottle to take a sip when his voice comes out more scratchy than expected and he clicks into their shared chat. he blinks at the messages on his screen before glancing at the clock.

when did it become 3 in the morning?

50000 primos no yelan today at 3:34AM > hey champ > just wanted to know if ur alive > image_2075

huwutao today at 3:35AM > … > listen > i lost track of time

when he sees a certain individual named noah jung playing genshin impact at the top of his friend list on discord—that alone isn't enough to raise any alarms. besides, noah had been busy. he knows that noah had been too busy to login, can see it on the game itself whenever he gets on. another reason why he hasn't been asking the other to coop too.

but when younghyun notices that noah had hit the 13 hours mark, he thinks that's a cause for concern. he already knows he has very few friends, he doesn't want one of them to drop dead just like that. who does? let alone with genshin freaking impact being the cause of death.

( not that he isn't guilty of the same crimes. he's currently feeling salty towards the game though. please refer to his current discord username. )

like any worried friend, he shoots noah a message. he isn't surprised to see that he gets a reply a minute after. looks like the boy is wide awake. younghyun can't decide whether that's a good thing or not.

50000 primos no yelan today at 3:38AM

> gotcha. won't ask any questions > glad to see u alive at least lol

well, it's not like younghyun is feeling any sleepier. he has his fair share of insomnia-induced thoughts that he can't beat tonight. nothing wrong with dragging noah down with him, or vice versa.

50000 primos no yelan today at 3:40AM

> want some mcdonalds? > might keep u alive a while longer

#( noah * 001 )#( thr. )#kwnoah #/ sowwy for taking years

/

funnily enough real life uni is swamping me with stuff which is why i’ve been slow in terms of ims. but i do want to get more interactions out there for younghyun especially bc i feel like i’ve been neglecting him so LIKE THIS POST for a starter related to the summer festival! i might cap this later on but none for now.

#( ooc. )

first step, two steps. out into the wilderness.

cooking has been a part of his life for as long as younghyun can remember. sometimes, he would even claim that he picked up a pan and learned his way around the stove before he even knew how to talk. although he’d tell those tales as jokes more often than not, there are days when he’d believe those words to be real. it’s a skill that had been ingrained within him since forever—almost haunting, in a sense.

it’s not like he hates it though. even with his mother shoving the art of culinary down his throat, he does find it fun still. he especially loves it when there aren’t any judges ( or his teachers, but their judgement can be rather harsh ). for example, when he’s within the comforts of his own dorm room with a supportive(?) roommate.

moonbin has been telling him about how social media is where it’s at now, showing him a few tiktoks surrounded around cake making and everything of that sort. younghyun doesn’t dabble. aside from discord ( which he uses to communicate with his gamer bros ), younghyun isn’t exactly the type to maintain an active presence online.

but he wouldn’t mind if moonbin wants to be his ‘tiktok manager' or whatever term it was that the younger used. honestly, suji is more well-verse in things like that. “i still don’t get how this can get me popular,” younghyun says as he’s pulling out a few utensils onto their kitchen counter. “i’m not even that interesting when cooking?” but hey, maybe it’ll be fun, he tells himself.

“do i have to... talk? or something?” he asks, blinking at the other. “are you going to talk? do you want to be in on it too?”

— @kwmoonbin !

#( moonbin * 001 )#( thr. )#kwmoonbin #/ promised u a roomie thread #pls accept

time flies, how much has changed?

younghyun’s time in the military had been... well, now that he’s thinking about it, he’s not quite sure what term can best describe how he felt. one thing is for sure though: it was lonely. most of the time, he kept to himself, not knowing who to contact or if he even deserves to send letters to those he wants to talk to. he used those months to reflect, to look deep within himself and pick out his flaws all in an attempt to fix them. although he doesn’t know whether he’s finally walking on the right path or not, he thinks it’s something he should be figuring out on his own. without relying on anyone. especially not his parents.

speaking of, with his parents being as picky and restrictive as they are, it’s not like younghyun had a lot of people who’d be thinking of him while he’s away anyway. the funny thing is: even his own parents made no attempt to reach out to him. even though there’s a lot of things he needs to ask them, updates on the situation of a particular boy. nothing came.

he’s back now. before anything else, he wants to talk to those he misses. because despite the setbacks younghyun had to deal with when it came to maintaining a real and authentic social circle, he managed to find them—genuine friends who he can believe in, who he knows cares.

yoon jinwoo is one of them. funnily enough, so is his girlfriend now. a comedic story for another day.

pulling out his phone, younghyun searches through his contacts and presses on the one he had been looking for. then he types down a few words into the chatbox, “hey, guess who’s back? me. that’s who. wanna hang?”

best way to greet someone he hadn’t seen for more than a year, surely.

— @kwjinwoo !

#( jinwoo * 001 )#( thr. )#kwjinwoo #/ i think i promised this #but idr #HAHA

HAEUN !

if you would

the festival is in full swing–at least she assumes this is full swing as there is quiet a lot of activity going on. it’s exciting! honestly, haeun has been looking forward to something like this since she joined the university. the whole college life events and getting to part take in them had always seemed so cool when she heard about them from older friends or saw them in dramas. and now she’s getting to be involved with one? that’s so cool!

she’s on a mission right now though and can not afford to be distracted. her heels clicking on the pavement as she darts around the other students looking for one particular person. his frame comes into view and the teen smiles. one @kwyounghyun standing in the crowd.

“oppa!” she calls out, waving her arm. ignoring the other guys who glance her way at her voice since she didn’t add a name. it doesn’t matter because she’s still rapidly closing the distance between her and younghyun. “younghyun oppa!! hello!” she grins, coming to stop in front of him with her hands on her hips. “here you are, right where i knew you would be! i would have texted to make sure but i left my phone in the band room but thats fine because i found you, yeah?”

the summer festival is nothing short of exciting. somehow, he feels that his club’s activity is a little lackluster compared to the others—draw the moon challenge? how are they supposed to promote that? younghyun understands that the planetarium is too important for them to use for club booths and things like that, but still. they would have been careful, they would have come up with something a lot more fun.

at least the decorating was pleasant. he got to put up makeshift stars made out of paper mache and glow-in-the-dark paint all over the ceilings. not that he’ll spend too much time here, seeing as there are enough hands to take care of the small number of visitors they have. it’s scarce, and that's putting it lightly.

honestly, they’ll be fine without younghyun around. so, off he goes to explore the more interesting club booths. he really wants to try out that boba shop with ‘recipes from all over the world’. and of course, he wants to see how his friends at the dance club are doing. from what he heard, they have an intriguing concept to their cafe.

younghyun stops in his tracks when he hears a familiar voice call out to him though, despite having forgotten to put a name to it. it’s kind of awkward to ask now, which is why he hasn’t. maybe he should get to it one of these days. younghyun turns around and finds the girl in question, smile in place. “oh, hey. how did you know i’d be wandering the halls?” he jokingly asks.

he hadn’t known haeun for very long, but it’s still nice to know someone who likes spending time with him. god knows he doesn’t have a lot of that. “are you sure you should be leaving your phone there? what if someone takes it?” he’s genuinely concerned as he fires out these questions.

#( haeun * 001 )#( thr. )#kwhaeun #kw: summerfes2022 #/ ty for starting! <3

when sorry is all you can say, when sorry doesn’t cut it.

the ghost of regret had been haunting younghyun ever since he made that one irreversible mistake.

it follows him as he’s shipped off to military service, creeps at his back during lonely nights, rendering him sleepless. it seeps into his dreams, morphing them into brutal nightmares that serve as a constant reminder. even though he’s back in kyungwon, nothing has changed—on the contrary, those feelings of remorse only grow stronger, taking root within the very depths of his core. he welcomes it, of course, because he should be feeling all this. he’s not going to wallow in his own self-pity, this isn’t about younghyun.

no, this is about seo hayun, a fellow student. pre-medicine major and national representative for taekwondo. someone with a bright future ahead of him, until younghyun destroyed it all by taking the wheel that day.

everything he found out about that boy he did on his own. his parents disclosed nothing, opting to keep younghyun in the dark. the last thing he wants is to let himself hide behind his parents’ protection though, so he slips through the cracks and began his own investigation. reading articles, fitting timelines, asking his connections—he's not an investigative journalist by any means, but he discovered more than enough. at least, enough to know where hayun could be.

still, he wasn’t fully prepared to come face-to-face with the boy himself. back in the trenches, he had rehearsed this scene several times in his head, hoping for the day he'd be able to express his regrets and remorse. that doesn’t get rid of the underlying fear, even when he knows it’s not younghyun who should be afraid. he doesn't expect forgiveness, and he shouldn’t be. younghyun simply wants the other to know he was sorry; he wants to be genuine. he doesn’t want to run away from his mistakes.

the library is quiet, but younghyun can hear the sound of his thundering heartbeat in his chest, the thorns pricking at his skin. all these sensations mean nothing when he's looking straight at someone who’s slowly putting a few books into the shelves, patient—struggling. younghyun approaches, each step feeling heavier than the last. he tries smiling, but then worries he’d be imposing. it remains anyway, with a glint of nervousness. younghyun picks up one of the books, a subtle way to alert the other student to his presence. only then does he say, “hello,” in greeting.

his voice sounds more strained than usual, but he wills that away with a small cough. “do you... need help?” younghyun asks, unsure if this is the best method to start the conversation. he’s unsure about a lot of things.

all he's certain of is that he needs to do this.

— @kwhayun !

#( hayun * 001 )#( thr. )#kwhayun #/ somehow this is below 500 words

hello! look at me, underprepared! but here’s an intro post anyway because i need to get some information out there. anyway, this is my second muse, ahn younghyun who’s trying to right his wrongs and make himself better. he just recently returned from military service! below you’ll find more information about him.

and as always, LIKE THIS POST if you want to plot! i’ll go ahead and slide into your ims at a leisurely pace... so tumblr doesn’t snipe me.