Even if Hashirama had seen the flinch, even if he had seen what his anger did to the younger male, it didn’t stop him from continuing to unleash his thoughts. The elder Senju heard Izuna, heard his words that just made the anger he was feeling intensify, because if there was anyone who didn’t see clearly, then it was the man right before his eyes, who seemingly didn’t accept anything he was saying, attempting to brush it off as if this state his little brother was in was clouding his mind. It might have the first time it happened, but months of seeing this, experiencing this heart-wrenching pain, had made Hashirama’s usually calm mind go into overdrive, making the last thing it was; clouded, and that was why he wasn’t letting Izuna leave here without hearing everything. Every little thing that had happened, so the younger could see exactly what was going on, see how serious this was, and that this was not merely because he was upset. Yes, Hashirama was upset, but these words, these statements, didn’t leave solely due to that. These were thoughts that had been there everyday for months, these words were born from the pain he had witnessed, that had dug so deep into his heart that he was undoubtedly scarred for life now. Who wouldn’t be? After having seen their little brother break like this, when Tobirama had been nothing akin to this ever before all of this. No, the younger of the two had always been so strong, so steady and focused on his goals. However, with everything that had happened, none of that strength had been there, at least nothing akin to the strength that Hashirama had witnessed through so many years, a strength that had made him so proud.
Hashirama knew, deep inside, that he should have said none of it, knew that Tobirama didn’t have wanted it, but he couldn’t simply stand here and do nothing while all this suffering was going on, while the only family member he had left, fell apart mentally and physically, he couldn’t, never mind how loud the voice in his head was yelling at him. The elder needed to say this, never mind how little Izuna wanted to hear it. Because, Hashirama could see it, see how the younger male still didn’t completely take his words to heart, didn’t quite listen---- until, he did. The change was immediate and the elder Senju didn’t need to ask how deeply those last words hit, didn’t need to confirm that what had just left his lips was exactly what Izuna had needed, to listen to him and realize the truth that coated every word.
The sudden words that left in a whisper was barely heard and yet, they immediately made Hashirama halt with confusion clear in his brown hues, where anger was no longer dancing due to the clear signs that Izuna now finally listened.
Hashirama had heard mumbled words from Tobirama about a video, but now it finally clicked what those words had meant. But Hikaku? That was... Surprise appeared on the warm features. The elder wanted to ask what exactly had happened, but knew, due to how Izuna reacted, that he needed to wait, needed to let the younger process. And also knew, that he would need to apologize later for his harsh words.
A heavy sigh left as Hashirama and his collected features fell into sadness while he saw Izuna storm out of the door, knowing full well that he should have handled it better, but pain did such horrible things to you, even the best lost control, especially when family was involved. He would apologize later and speak with the man, but for now, he would need to talk to Madara and get a hold of himself.
A long inhale could be heard, though, muffled by the oxygen mask resting upon the unhealthy looking features, features that looked paler than usual, even after having gained some color back from resting in the hospital for a day.
crimson hues, still dazed and hazy, slowly opened, yet, stayed heavy-lidded as they gazed towards the white ceiling above. It was clear that the still not-quite-there-yet male had yet to register where he was. Still having heavy pain medication running through his system, Tobirama’s movements were slow as one of his slender hands finally lifted to weakly pull the mask off his face, making the alabaster skinned male inhale deeply before he just laid there while showing no signs or indications of seeing anyone else. He then slowly sat up with his head low, resulting the hazy crimson hues to stare at the slender hands resting on his covered lap.
“ It.. was so peaceful.. I didn’t want to wake up.. “ Speech slightly slurred, showing once again, the clear signs of the heavy medication that was still lingering, to stop the pain from the head injury, Tobirama continued, “ everything... hurts here.. “ While saying the last sorrow-filled words, a few tears escaped, rolling down pale cheeks and onto the covers below, leaving dark spots here and there. Normally, no such thing would have ever left, not even within the safety of his own walls, but being so heavily medicated, there was no filter and emotions, unable to stay behind the male’s cracked mask spilled, making it clear just how heavy the organ within the younger Senju’s chest felt, how it was cracked, shattered and it was clear that Tobirama was unable to pick up the pieces. “ I just want to.. sleep and not wake up.. “
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