IDontWantToGrowUp

[tastefullyoffensive]

[incorrectbungoustraydogs]

Nikolai: Wow, you’re so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!

Fyodor: Thanks, I made this one just for you.

[ios10emojis]

[literarystraydogs]

ʙᴜʀᴀɪʜᴀ

[afairfight]

The contrast between Tan’s mantra and the rest of the Fab 5’s mantras is sending me.

[rainbowrowell]

Everyone else: 💖👍🏼🌈🙏🏼

Tan: You could try trying.

[ezariumi]

Soukoku Angst Week 2019 Day 4: Time Loop | Nightmares

[littlemisspoltergeist]

Even after being defeated and thrown around by the Hulk, Loki still found the energy to make fun of Captain America and I respect that.

[fmanime]

i think edward elric entire military experience can be summarized as john mulaney’s “horse loose in the hospital” bit

[fmanime]

there is a CHILD ALCHEMIST LOOSE IN THE STATE MILITARY!

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE CHILD IS GOING TO DO, LEAST OF ALL THE CHILD!

HE’S NEVER BEEN IN THE MILITARY BEFORE!

[ink7blot]

They interviewed a man who once saw a baby in a restaurant.

WE’VE ALL SEEN A BABY IN A RESTAURANT!!!

THIS IS A CHILD. LOOSE IN THE MILITARY.

[comrade-hozier]

@dalethesjtoddler

[cappucino-commie]

And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the child, and then, 5 miles under the capital city, an evil homunculus was like, “I have a huge transmutation circle and I’m going to kill everyone to become god!” And before we could say anything, the child was like, “If you even fucking look at Amestris, I will punch you to death with my fists. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can take my unresolved daddy issues out on you, I’m so fucking crazy.”

[captainlordauditor]

This post was written by Roy Mustang

[ebonyheartnet]

Sometimes it’s not a bad thing, just surprising. Like, “Today the child did alchemy without a transmutation circle,” and everyone is like, “Huh, I didn’t know he could do that.”

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the child at all. Those are the days when everyone is like “I think the child has finally calmed down,” and then the child is like “I just uncovered a government conspiracy. I went in that secret lab and snuck in there with my tiny body. I have a tiny body, but don’t you tell me that, or I’ll fuck you up,” and you’re like “That’s what I thought you’d say, you tiny fucking child.”

And then for a second we’re like “Maybe the government will fire the child,” and the child is like “I have dismantled the government.”

[diabolism666-deactivated2022112]

ORAA! :)

[mokumokutan]

this is kinda late but happy birthday, chuuya! 

[notreewaits-deactivated20200806]

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

[llywela13]

I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself

I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!

[ladyofatraditionalkind]

Teach them kindness.

[petrichorcrown]

How To Bathe Your Dragon

[kantstudies]

i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today

[just-shower-thoughts]

Guys never put away their “summer clothes” we just layer them with jackets in the winter

[incorrectbungoustraydogs]

Dazai: Want to play a game?

Chuuya: Uh… sure…?

Dazai: It’s called ‘Rats or Nikolai’. I give you actual quotes I’ve heard Fyodor say, and you guess if he was talking to his rats or to his boyfriend.

Chuuya:

Chuuya: Awesome

[effervescentbi]

ah, teenagers

[yourfavoriteneedsahug]

The holy trinity.

[the-stove-is-on-fire]

Pro Hero Red Riot jumping into action! Who is is rushing to save? Is the fight not yet over?