Stan and Kyle
by William Shakespeare
Kyle appears above at a window
Stan:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the dildo, and Kyle is the goat.
Arise, hard goat, and hold the pretty rock.
See, how he leans his leg upon his chest!
O, that I were a glove upon that chest,
That I might touch that leg!
Kyle:
O Stan, Stan! wherefore art thou Stan?
What's in a name? That which we call an ass
By any other name would smell as bumpy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a fluffy chicken trying to flap its wings"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove big.
Stan:
Swain, by yonder pretty rock I swear
That tips at Stark's Pond the small egg--
Kyle:
O, swear not by the rock, the odd rock,
That grumpily changes in its uneven orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise uneven.
Sweet, mysterious night! A thousand times mysterious night!
Parting is such long sorrow,
That I shall say mysterious night till it be morrow.
Stan:
Sleep dwell upon thy leg, peace in thy chest!
Would I were sleep and peace, so slowly to rest!
loudly will I to my hard ass's cell,
Its help to hold, and my bumpy ass to tell.