Putting Down The Roses-Picking Up The Sword

Sara-30s -she/her-⚤ Multi Fandom-Metal Music- 18+

[frost-fever]

we go both ways here

[c0ffinbunnii]

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[riverlarking]

to all the books that i’ve read 1/3rd of

[gayvampyr]

me when i’m doing something stressful that requires my full attention and someone starts asking me questions

[youngerfrankenstein]

To put it very bluntly.

You will always make a better impact helping people who need it than trying to hurt people you think deserve it.

[pc-98s]

i highly recommend developing an intense interest in some natural phenomenon or creature such as bugs or stars or mushrooms. you will be delighted every time you go outside

[bluemandycat]

my sister’s bf referred to eating cheese as “mousing out” and i’m so utterly charmed by that. can we all agree to adopt that into language.

[goslinggf]

i love you rice with some bullshit

[kosmogrl]

[nongunktional]

best typo ive ever made i think

reblog if you feep stupid

[nongunktional]

spose we're all feeping stupid today

[velartis]

“what radicalized you” bro EMPATHY

[puppygirllaika]

"what radicalized you" well in kindergarten they told me to share things and be nice to people.

[melancholic-whimsy]

career ideas:

Mysterious Disappearance

Cult leader

Cryptid entity whose existence is disputed

Mad Scientist

Normal Person ™️

[warmfigure]

i am massively overdue for a very very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[unlettered-heathen]

reblog to give prev a very good week where not a single bad thing happens and everything is easy

[creepish]

ohhhh i see. (does not see)

[ruinme-please]

"̴̨̮̠̣͇̳̜̏͜Ằ̴̛͕͍̗͓͑͌̽͝͝r̵̢̫̹̿͒̈́͗e̶̲̮̝̿̈́̊ ̴̥̗̫̜̝̺̜̄́͜͜ͅy̴̢͔͚̘͎̩̾̂̇̄̚o̵̫͐̃̅͋͋̉͋u̷̩̤̓́̅͆̈́̇̍ ̶̳̘̰̹̅͐̎̈́i̸͙̘̟͒̑͆̕ǹ̴͓̻͓̹̤̊̃͘͜ ̴̬̝̣̬̻͔̻̔p̷̨͌̔̊́̿ͅà̴̡̧̛̼̦̜̬̦̌͌̈́̆́͠ȉ̵̦͉n̴̡͖̄͜͠ ̴̜̲̱͕͉̫͆́̃͜ĺ̸̳͔̥́͗̏̒̕͠͝ȋ̸̢̧̠̯̹͍̃̽̃̎̋̈́̿͐͠k̵̬̬̙͖̫̾̂̍̍͛ẽ̷̫͍͇͝ ̸̡̖̫̯̺͎͖̔̊̇͠ͅI̸̥̓́̏̔̿̔ ̸̧̗̔̎͘a̶̘͚͖̔͛m̴̢̻͈̖͋̃̄̈̅̀͂͑͗͠ͅ?̷̢̰͎̖̪̞̬̼̹̑̎̆̄̏̽͜"̵̛̮̗̮̮̱͐̈̈́͂͆

ref: mantis lady by Alex Tillbrook