At the time I remember listening to the No Doubt song ‘Don’t Speak', which is about a break-up, and that opening line about always being together just struck a chord with me because that was how Liam and I had been. When he wasn’t on tour we were joined at the hip and he always wanted to be with me — even if I was going to the supermarket for a pint of milk! He was very protective and loving. When we were together there were fireworks, and a chemistry that lasted to the end, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.
I’m not naive — I'd heard all the rumours about his womanizing and I knew exactly what was going on behind my back, but I want to focus on the good times because there were plenty of them. And I want Lennon to pick up this book and know how much we wanted him and that he was born out of love, and to see that there’s another side to the tabloid stories.
It would be all too easy to blame Liam for everything, but the truth is, I made mistakes, too. In fact, I'm happy to admit that I made mistakes in all my marriages. When a couple breaks up, there’s usually fault on both sides. I had to take a long, hard look at myself. I changed a lot after my mum died — her death broke me and I desperately wanted Jim and then Liam to love me the way she had. But no one could replace that unconditional love —and it would be insulting to Mum’s memory to think they could. I see that clearly now but at the time I was looking for someone to put me back together. That must have been hard for Liam, and in hindsight, I put way too much pressure on him.
His intentions were always good, and to his credit, he wanted to marry me and have a family, and he took on James when he was just twenty-three. A lot of guys wouldn’t have been interested in taking on the responsibility of being stepfather at that age, but Liam was and is incredible with James — in fact, he gave him his first proper job with his clothing company Pretty Green.
Looking back, it was just an impossible situation because of what was on offer to Liam when Oasis took off — he had everything handed to him on a plate. I was five years older with two marriages behind me, so we approached our relationship very differently. I also think the people around us both were concerned about us being together, and at times it felt like we didn’t have a lot of support in either camp, except from Peggy.
And it’s bloody hard being married to a rock star! I watched the Martin Scorsese documentary about the life of George Harrison, and was struck by his second wife Olivia saying that when she was asked about the secret to a successful marriage in the music industry, her reply was always, ‘Don’t get divorced.’ I thought, Wow, she’s wise, it really is that simple — if you want to stay married, don’t get divorced!
It’s very hard for these guys to come off stage after so much adulation and go back to their wife and a normal life. If they leave a wet towel on the floor, you’re like,‘Why can’t you pick up the bloody towel?’ Well, it’s because they've never had to — they’ve always had someone to do it for them. The comedown must be immense. '
I honestly think the fans get the best out of really gifted musicians — on stage is when they’re at their most glorious. When I was fifteen, I was the girl in the audience at Haircut 100 gigs thinking, I wish I was his girlfriend, but now I’m older, and hopefully a bit wiser. I had a bit of an epiphany when I went to a Paul McCartney concert after Liam and I split up. I was much happier just being a fan, and I felt so relieved that I wasn’t going home with someone from the band! I had a great time, I sang along, and then I went home at the end of the night without having to do a runner. It was wonderful.
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