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hi there, my name is mae, i am 21, and currently a student studying in the united states (unfortunate i know) to become a science educator. i became a fan of kpop about 2 years ago from one of my closest friends and now roommate. my ult group is stray kids but i also love ateez (saw them in 2024!), p1harmony, seventeen, nmixx, and boynextdoor. i also enjoy music outside of kpop as well and am a avid concert go-er.
i, admittedly, am not as active on this platform as i'd like to be but i am always hoping to make that change! feel free to reach out to learn more about me if you so wish, i am always happy to make new friends.
while plotting on how to get back at your family for years of competitive family holiday dinners, you finally concoct a plan with one key detail, your best friend.
warnings: lowkey toxic family dynamics, self-doubt, angst (with a happy ending), partially proof-read
back to m.list <3
this was made for @emmiesoverthemoon and @makeitworse secret stay event for @hyunjincanraptoo. i am SO sorry this is late, work and life have been absolutely kicking my ass recently but i hope you enjoy and happy holidays! thank you emmie and attie for organizing this and helping me get back into the swing of writing <33
wc: 2.1k
sc count: 2
The holidays always seemed like a competition between the members of the family. The eldest two cousins comparing salaries, explaining how they were “working their way up the corporate ladder”, the youngest of the cousins showing off flashy phones or gaming consoles. It all seemed so shallow, avoiding the true meaning of the holidays; the togetherness. After years of coming with nothing to show off but an “in progress” oil painting, you decided that this would be the year to show off.
It started with a simple text, one you knew Hyunjin would maybe laugh at but not something he would call you insane over.
At 9:36 the next evening, the text that he had arrived back to the dorms finally hit your phone screen, lighting up the display as you chipped away at a painting that you swore would be the death of you. And with a quick drive down the much too noisy Seoul streets, you stood in front of his dorm door, coffee in hand. As soon as your knuckles rapped on the door, a casual looking Hyunjin padded his way to it with sock clad feet, a tired, yet excited smile on his face as he pulled the wood open.
“About time you got here.” He chuckled lightly, wrapping his arms around you, one around your shoulders, the other around your waist. The hug was brief, but it still held that home-y feeling it had since you were kids together, playing on the small playground a short walk from your childhood home. “Well someone requested a coffee from halfway across the city that I had to go and get first.” You replied, displaying the coffee to him like it was your newest work of art, him accepting it like a school kid getting a piece of candy.
“Do you want a fake boyfriend or not?” He jabbed back, pulling you into the dorm and closing the door behind you. The dorm was a quiet space for him and Changbin, the newly-wed dorm as you had seen Hyunjin’s fans say online. And while you couldn’t quite argue with the fact that the two bumbling, overgrown boys did act like husband and wife, it was still puzzling to you how his fans had such a good glimpse into their private day-to-day lives. Further into the livingroom, you both took a seat on the couch, plush fabric of Changbin’s choosing nearly swallowing you whole.
“Okay so we need a plan, right?” Hyunjin started, straw between his lips as he sipped on the sugary coffee in his hands. “Right. I was thinking we could show up maybe just a bit late. I’ll walk in, greet everyone like normal and act as if everything is casual. Then, you come in.” Hyunjin nodded, eyes glued to your face like an enthralling movie. “Okay, drama, I love it. Tell me more.”
“My cousin is going to be ranting and raving about her wedding in April, apparently she booked this crazy expensive hotel for the entire weekend in Jeju, so we need a way to upstage her.”
“Say no more. I already have a plan.” Hyunjin’s expression moved slightly, in a way you hadn’t seen before. Sure, seeing him plotting wasn’t anything new, but this expression… It seemed almost as if he was holding back saying something but you weren’t sure what. “Spill, what’s your plan?” You asked, your tone as normal as you could muster with the small bit of unease that has crept into your stomach at the change in his eyes.
“You need to be surprised for it to really have that “wow” factor! Come on, you’ve seen my acting on music video sets, I got this!” All you could do was nod because, yeah, he was right. The times you had seen him snap into this persona while under the lights and camera lenses for the few times he had actually convinced his managers to let you on set, it was something of a work of art. “Alright, I’m trusting you, Jin.”
After a few more hours of laying the ground work, small details to really sell the performance, it came time for you to go back to your cave of unfinished works. “I’ll pick you up at two on Saturday, we’ll head to my family’s from there.” You spoke, sliding your shoes back on, shouldering your jacket to brave the short walk back to your car. “I’ll be ready, girlfriend.” He held out the last syllable for an extra second, making the word sing-song and floaty. And, much to your better judgement, your eyes snapped up to meet his, the word sounding like a new language coming from his lips. “Let’s save the method acting for Saturday.” You say, clearing your throat as the door opens in front of you, exposing you to the brisk cold that had very quickly fallen over the city.
“See you!” Hyunjin chimed, as if he hadn’t just shocked you to your core, and you were off, back to normalcy.
Saturday came much faster than you had expected between your regular office job that, you swore, stole some of your creativity everyday, and the regular hustle of the holiday season. Dressed in something ‘casual but still elevated’ because, according to Hyunjin, you couldn’t show up in your regular paint splotched jeans if you were truly playing the part of his girlfriend, you loaded the small gift boxes wrapped for family into the car.
You picked up Hyunjin without fault and made your way to the house where the party was being held. “Okay, quick recap before we go in. We’ve been together for 9 months, they already know you from when we were kids so no need for a ‘how we got together’ story. I’ll walk in first, you wait two minutes and then walk in through the front door. Got it?”
“Got it.” Hyunjin nodded, that same plotting smirk marking his lips once again. Too much was riding on this, so you decided to bury the confused feelings that resurfaced from the night this whole act was planned and collected the gifts, making your way inside.
Through the doors, the noise was already suffocating. Your aunt was droning on about her oldest son who had just made it into an elite program for one of his sports, your little cousins screamed from the livingroom, chasing the poor family dog around the couch. Meekly, you said hello to those family members that you passed and placed the gifts under the tree. Taking a seat by the fireplace, you waited, eyes trained on the front door. And as if on queue, Hyunjin walked in with a bright smile and a huge hug for your mom.
“Oh, Hyunjin! What a surprise! We didn’t know you’d be joining us this year!” Your aunt fawned over him, his smile polite but his eyes searching for you, and as soon as you were spotted you fell into place at his side. “I thought I'd invite him this year because… we’re together!”
As soon as the words left your lips, a hush fell over the family. Your smile soon turned awkward as you spotted two of your cousins whispering to one another. As soon as it started, you regretted this plan with everything inside yourself.
Throughout the party, jabs at your character were thrown at you in the shape of questions about your ‘relationship.’
“When did you guys decide to get together?”
“His life is so much more different than yours, isn’t it?”
“Isn’t he super busy on tour?”
“How do you know what he’s up to?”
Clear disbelief that Hyunjin of all people would even consider dating someone like yourself. And maybe they were right. Maybe this plan was so stupid no one would even think about it being real. Quietly, you excused yourself.
As if a ghost in a house full with your family, you slipped out the front door, sitting on the steps leading up to the door with a sigh, the cold wind hitting your embarrassed flushed cheeks. Hyunjin was, as a fact, out of your league. Successful, multi-talented, absolutely gorgeous, millions of fans screaming his name on every platform. And you, his best friend from a life he had grown up from. Outgrown, maybe. Wetness gathers under your eyes, but you refuse to let it fall, sniffling back the feeling in the back of your throat, knees to your chest.
Quietly, the door behind you opened, the familiar heavy footsteps of Hyunjin sounding behind you. “There you are…” He spoke, voice softer, as if he knew just how fragile your ego felt in the moment. “Don’t worry about me Jin. Go visit, I know everyone missed you.” You quickly wiped at your eyes, the salty dampness soaking into the sleeve of your sweater.
“I’m okay here.” His voice leaves no room for argument as he sits down beside you, an arm gently placed over your shoulder. His touch is warm, a balm over the insults that had been thrown at you for the past few hours. Leaning against his shoulder, a breath leaves your lungs you didn’t know you were holding in, the warm hair turning to fog in the bitter air.
“I didn’t miss the comments they were making, by the way.” He finally speaks up after a while of sitting in silence. His voice makes your throat tighten, a mix of embarrassment and shame drawing up in your body. You shutter, pulling away slightly. “Hey, no. Don’t do that. Please tell me you don’t believe them.” Hyunjin turns his face to look at you, his eyes narrowed slightly, twinges of anger glossing over the chocolate of his irises. You only manage a chuckle, eyes only meeting his for a second before darting back down to the suddenly interesting concrete under your feet.
“Look at me.” His hand finds your cheek, his warm palm holding the skin in a manner that made your already flushed cheeks burn harshly. With a gentle tug, he forces your eyes to meet. “Do not believe them for a moment. In no world would I ever get such a big head that I would forget who pushed me to do all of this in the first place. It’s been you since day one.”
“I just can't help but feel like you’re embarrassing yourself by being here, being considered my date.”
A scoff leaves Hyunjin’s lips but there’s no venom or malice behind it. “Listen. Being around you could never be embarrassing to me. Around you, I am finally able to be me. Not some global super star or another face for some expensive brand. I just get to be Hyunjin. Your Jinnie.”
The air between you thins, eyes searching his, looking for any hesitation from his words, only finding warmth, honesty, behind them. “Jin…”
“No, stop, let me speak.”
“Every single time we are away from each other because I'm off on some other continent, wearing too many rhinestones and hairspray, I'm reminded why I do what I do. I’m reminded of middle school when you would sit with me for hours in the empty gym even after class let out just so I wouldn’t be alone while I danced. I’m reminded of every late night call when I felt homesick during my training, every time you told me to just hold on because I was going to make it big.”
He sucks in a mix of a breath and a chuckle, looking down for a moment.
“I’m reminded why being away is so hard.” His thumb strokes over your cheekbone. Slow. Reverent. Worshiping.
“You’re always my reason why.” He finishes. His lips holding this dorky, lopsided smile that he seemed to only hold for you. “Its always been you.”
The way he says those last four words steals the air from your lungs, holding still as if the moment would disappear into thin air if you moved too much.
“You’re such a dork…” You breathe, blinking back the tears that clung to your waterline and finally, as if it was exactly what he was looking for, a smile slowly forms on your lips. The exact smile that he begged the universe to see every day while thousands of miles away. The smile that could turn any doubt into clarity.
The smile he fell in love with.
“Can this dork… kiss you?” He asks, his voice barely a whisper, as if he too thought this moment would dissipate into thin air if he moved too suddenly.
He didn’t need to ask a second time as you finally bridged the gap, connecting your lips with his plush, warm lips, locking them together in a kiss that tasted like your uncle’s cherry pie and forever.
thank you for reading :) if you enjoyed, please leave a like and reblog, it helps so much!
warnings: multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, creampies, oral (m and f), fingering, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy
synopsis: after 6 years of being away from the village you grew up in, you're finally visiting your grandparents. you're excited to spend time with them, but your heart beats faster at the thought of seeing your first love.
a/n: this fic is for my twin from another continent @jehhskz 🩷 thank you for always supporting my works, being on this journey with me and yapping about our sweet hyune and whatever else!! i hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it, happy birthday🥹🩷🫶🏻
~ divider by: @sweetmelodygraphics
their song🩷
A long exhale left your parted lips, right as you pressed your forehead against the cold window of the car, shutting your eyes tightly.
'Get it together, y/n!', you thought to yourself.
But how could you get it together when you were currently driving towards the place you left almost 6 years ago, the place you haven't even stepped foot in while you finished college and tried to build the career you always wanted in the city?
How could you get it together when you couldn't stop replaying the song that once brought you happy memories that were now just a part of your past, filling you up with melancholy?
How could you get it together when you know he still lives there and it's inevitable that you will run into him? Your heart skipped a beat the moment you thought of that.
How would he react? Would he ignore you as if he never knew you? Would he run into your arms, like you knew you'd feel the urge to do as soon as your eyes land on his? Would he just greet you politely, like you haven't already exchanged your breaths, your innocence, whispers of love, tangled your tongues and your hearts?
Did he move on?
You wouldn't blame him if he did, after all, you were the one who left him when you had promised to always stay by his side.
You called your grandparents earlier to let them know you'll be visiting, finally after so many years, you had to be there to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, you wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. They practically raised you while your parents worked out of the village and you always admired the tender love they had for each other, spending so many years together and going through so much that just made their bond stronger.
You were tempted to ask your grandmother about Hyunjin, what he was doing now or if he had a significant other. But, you had bitten your tongue, too scared to find out the answer to your question.
You only hoped he didn't hate you.
Hyunjin. The boy that smiled shyly at you when you were just five years old, when his mother had brought him to your house for a play date while the parents have some 'grown up time'. You returned the shy smile, playing with the fabric of your nice dress, the one your mom made you wear, saying something about a 'good impression'. The awkwardness between you disappeared pretty quickly, as soon as you showed him your favorite toys, the two of you started playing together in your yard, between all the dirt and the flowers. Your mother had scolded you later for ruining your dress but your grandmother calmed her down, telling her how the dress paled in comparison to having a good time with a new friend.
Hyunjin and you had at least two play dates a week which turned into three, then four, soon you became inseparable; especially when you started going to school together. Both of you were pretty frightened about that change, standing in front of the school gate so Hyunjin reached out to hold your hand, squeezing it reassuringly as your little cheeks became rosy.
He was your best friend, your first and last crush.
Years of being by his side, watching him grow and growing with him, you couldn't imagine your life without him. Hyunjin knew almost everything about you as you did with him and when both of you started high school, something changed.
He was growing up, he was different than before and you started looking at him differently. Before, you were used to the feeling you got when he touched your hand but now it seemed more electrifying. Hyunjin felt the same, suddenly becoming a stuttering mess next to you, staring at you with shiny eyes and a dumb smile on his face while you'd come home from school every day with butterflies in your stomach and a new diary entry to write.
You noticed how pretty his smile was, how gentle his voice sounded when he spoke your name, how his eyes were trained on your lips one too many times. Hyunjin noticed how your silky hair fell over your shoulders, the way you'd flip it back when he called out to you, how you'd smile at him with rosy cheeks.
Then one night while you were sleeping, Hyunjin couldn't hold back anymore. He sneaked out of his room, stalking down the road quietly to your house, you were only a few minutes away from his place. He stood beneath your window, his palms clammy, heart pounding against his chest, his throat completely dry. There was no going back now. You were awakened by the sounds of little stones hitting your window and confusedly you sat up, squinting towards the direction where the sound was coming from.
"What the-" you started as you stood up. You quietly walked over to your window and peeked down.
"Hyunjin?" you wondered to yourself before opening the window abruptly just as he lifted his hand up and threw another little rock, almost hitting you straight in the face but you dodged with a gasp as it landed behind you.
"Bunny! I'm so sorry!" he panicked immediately, flailing his long arms, the nickname he always used for you making your stomach flutter.
"What are you doing here? It's 2am." you asked confusedly.
"Let me come up please. I need to talk to you." Hyunjin looked nervous, shifting from one foot to the other, chewing on his lip and playing with his fingers.
"Can't this wait until the morning?" your brain was still half asleep and the chilly air from the outside made you shiver in the little nightgown you had on.
"I mean... I guess it can. It's just I don't know if I will have courage tomorrow." he mumbled, looking down and kicking around the little rocks with his foot.
"Fine. Come on up." you said and Hyunjin climbed quickly even though you scolded him, reminding him to be careful and quiet.
"Sorry." he sheepishly smiled at you when you grabbed his wrists and pulled him inside, but his foot got stuck which ended in you falling backwards on your butt and him sprawled on the floor on his hands and knees, hovering over you.
"Hyunjin!" you grunted in pain. "If my grandparents find you here-"
"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" he whispered and the two of you just sat there quietly, trying to hear if there was any indication that someone was coming to your door.
But it was dead quiet, except for the crickets outside of your house and the loud thumping of your heart so both of you let out a breath of relief.
"What did you need to tell me?" you asked after the two of you sat down, you on your bed and Hyunjin on the chair. He stood up abruptly, a shaky breath leaving his lips. Hyunjin rubbed his hands together as he looked away from you. You were suddenly worried, knowing he rarely gets this serious.
"I've been hiding this from you for a while but I can't hold it back anymore, even if you don't feel the same about me I need you to know how I feel because otherwise my chest will burst." he babbled, looking at you nervously.
"Jinnie, what are you talking about?" you asked with brows furrowed, your heartbeat picking up speed.
"I like you. More than friends. As in I'd like to kiss you and hold your hand and have it mean something more than just 'best friends'. I want to be your boyfriend." he blurted out, heart wilding in his chest as he scanned your face, looking for a reaction.
Your lips parted as you stared at him quietly for a moment, trying to process what he was saying. Your dear, sweet Jinnie who you were in love with for years was confessing to you? Looking so nervous and adorable, telling you he wants to kiss you and be yours?
You wished you could scream. So, you did just that. You grabbed your pillow and muffled your excited scream with it as Hyunjin stared at you with wide eyes.
"Um. Are you okay?" he chuckled awkwardly.
"Not really." you shook your head. "Sorry, it's just... I like you too, Jinnie. And I'd love to kiss you and be yours."
"Oh." he stood awkwardly in place like he wasn't expecting a positive answer.
"Are you gonna kiss me now?" you asked sheepishly after a moment of silence.
"Can I?" he looked excited and nervous as he came closer to you and you stood up slowly, nodding at him.
"I- You know I've never kissed anyone before." he said quietly.
"Me neither. It's okay." you gently took his hand in yours and Hyunjin felt the familiar comfort you always gave to him, reaching into his soul even now.
You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, letting the dust settle and the reality sink in, smiles creeping up on your faces as you slowly leaned in. Lips against lips pressed together and your eyes fluttered shut, your entire body buzzing.
Hyunjin squeezed your hand, his other hand tentatively touching the side of your waist as you placed your hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat underneath your fingers.
Everything fell into place then, you were his and he was yours-
"Miss? Miss, we're here." you snapped out of your reminiscing session as the driver pulled up to your grandparents house. You almost forgot how tiny the village is, how cozy and familiar all of it is. The dirt roads you walked on, mostly with Hyunjin by your side, the little forest that led to a clearing you used for picnic dates and stargazing, your grandmother's colorful garden, the porch she always sat on, admiring the flowers she helped grow. Even the air smelled familiar and it was almost as if you had never left.
"Let me help with your bags." the man said as you walked out of the car, taking a deep breath of fresh air into your lungs.
"Thank you." you said as he pulled out your suitcase. "Careful with those, please!" you added as the driver struggled, finally managing to put both of your suitcases down.
You missed the annoyed look he gave you while you put on your lipgloss, making sure your lips were nice and plump as you checked yourself out in the little pocket mirror.
"Oh, right." you remembered. "Here." you opened your wallet and grabbed some bills, paying the driver and leaving him a nice tip.
Before you could close your wallet, something caught your eye. A little picture of you and Hyunjin, where he was holding you from behind, both of your faces rosy with big smiles as you were chuckling together. You sighed and closed your wallet quickly, shoving it into your bag.
"Thanks for the tip, miss. Have a nice day." the man rounded his car.
"You too." you waved and he turned on his car while you stepped back as the screeching tires lifted up the dirt.
"Ugh." you made a disgusted face, turning around to pull your suitcases with you. After a struggle with the luggage, you managed to finally make the little wheels roll as you walked into the driveway of your childhood home.
"Shit!" your heart leaped out of your chest when your foot got stuck and you pulled, gasping once again when you realized your heel broke.
"Great. Just what I need." you rolled your eyes. Not a good beginning to this visit, you thought.
"Oh, she's here!" you heard the warm, familiar voice belonging to your grandma.
"Nana!" you called out to your grandma as she made her way to you, surprisingly agile for her age. "Oh!" you gasped when she gave you a bone crushing hug.
"Oh, how I missed you my child!" she was already pinching your cheeks as you groaned, noticing your grandfather had just walked out on the porch.
"There's my favorite grandchild." he said with a wink and you shook your, chuckling.
"Of course I'm your favorite when I'm the only one." you laughed quietly and grandma shushed you.
"Don't ruin his jokes, it makes him happy." she nudged you with a wink and you nodded.
"Come here." your grandpa kissed your cheeks, taking a moment to look at you.
"You look all serious and business-y." he said and you chuckled, looking down at your attire.
You were still wearing the suit you'd usually wear to work and the heels that were now broken.
"My heel broke." you remembered and you grandma started laughing.
"Honey, you can forget about heels here. I hope you brought some comfortable shoes that are dirt friendly." she joked as your grandpa helped with your luggage.
As soon as you walked into the house, you were hit with an even bigger wave of nostalgia than the one slowly building in your soul while you drove towards the village. They haven't changed almost anything, all the decoration was the same, everything smelled the same and familiar, like the home you grew up in never changed.
Like you never changed.
"Are you hungry, my child?"
"Oh yes." you nodded at your grandma eagerly, happy to be eating her home-cooked food.
"Good, wash your hands and join us for dinner."
She gave you some house slippers as you threw your poor broken heels aside and after washing your hands, you joined them at the table.
"So, how is the big city treating you?" your grandpa asked and you caught them up on your work, friends, your apartment, anything about the city you thought was worth mentioning.
"How are things here?" you asked after they listened to you, interested in your new experiences.
"Oh, you know. There is always something to do here. We have the house, the garden, the chickens, the goats. We are not as young and strong as we were once before but we are used to working. Plus, someone always comes to help out." nana explained.
"Like who?" you asked absentmindedly, chewing on the salad.
"Well, do you remember Chan? He was always a nice boy, that one. He got married recently but he still comes to help out with some repairs the house needs."
"Chan got married? Wow." you chuckled, it made sense. He had the same girlfriend for years and he was older than you so you weren't that surprised.
"And of course, Hyunjin." you grandma gave you a knowing smile as your entire body froze and you almost choked on your salad.
"Hyunjin got married?!" you spat out and your grandma gasped and then started laughing.
"No, dear, no." she chuckled at your reaction. "I meant Hyunjin comes here to help a lot. He repainted the entire kitchen and living room. Helps out with the animals and the garden when he isn't working on his farm. Or working around with other people, helping them build their houses and things like that."
"Oh..." you swallowed. "So, you see him a lot?"
"Yeah, almost every day!" grandpa chuckled. "He even joined us for breakfast this morning."
You suddenly felt a knot forming in your stomach. Hyunjin spent more time in your home, with your family than you did.
"Does he... does he have someone? You know. A partner." your voice broke a little as you blinked your tears away. You hated how you always cried easily, especially when it's about Hyunjin.
"No, he only works." your grandma frowned. "That boy never stops from early in the morning until late night hours. He just works and works his days away."
Somehow, that made you feel a little more at ease even though your heart still hurt.
"He asks about you, you know." grandma added.
You almost choked on your food again.
"He does?" you swallowed quickly, deciding that your appetite is now gone.
"Yeah. He asks if you're healthy, if you're doing good."
"Oh."
The weight of your grandma's words settled in your heart, heavy like a rock even as you tried to distract yourself with washing dishes and helping her clean up.
"Your room is the same as it was always. We never touched or removed anything." your grandma smiled at you, her hand gentle on your cheek.
"You should go see Hyunjin." she added.
"I- Maybe later." your throat dried up and you needed a moment to yourself, a moment to gather your thoughts. You walked up the stairs to your room as soon as you finished cleaning up, pulling your suitcases up with you. When the door creaked open, you were greeted by your past.
Your grandparents really left everything intact.
You stopped in your tracks after closing the door, too scared to move so you wouldn't disrupt the memories you were witnessing in your mind. Countless times Hyunjin and you spent here, ever since you were kids all the way up to the end of high school and the summer before you left for good. He was everywhere in that room. He sat on your windowsill, he paced around the floor, he swayed backwards on your chair (falling on his butt one too many times), he laid on your bed, kissing you and telling you how much he loves you.
There were polaroid pictures of you on the left side of your table, the drawings he gave you as a gift, your favorite teddy bear he got you for your one year anniversary still propped up against your pillows... You opened your drawer and found your diaries, his name scribbled on the pages, on your heart. You picked up one of the polaroids as your other hand automatically went to your chest. The couple necklaces you shared, one half of a heart was still around your neck, hidden under your shirt and close to your heart, the other one was still with him or maybe it wasn't. Maybe he threw it away after you left and never came back, not even returning his calls or texts.
"Hyunjin..." you whispered as you smiled at the picture, him with his hair over his eyes trying to make a scary face and you in the back, your hands on his shoulders as you stood on your tippy toes and put your tongue out, making a silly face.
Suddenly, you were overcome by emotions and tears spilled from your eyes. You loved him your entire life. And even if you tried to escape that feeling, you never really could. Hyunjin grew roots inside your heart and he wasn't going anywhere any time soon. You let yourself cry for a moment, hugging the teddy bear as you sat on your bed.
Should you go see him?
He has every right to be mad at you and you were scared of him turning a cold shoulder. But then again, your grandma said he asks for you. Maybe he is just curious?
Either way, you weren't ready to face him yet.
You decided to unpack and shower, change into something more comfortable and hopefully catch up on sleep.
But as soon as you got into your bed, sleep wouldn't come to you, no matter how quiet and peaceful the village was in comparison to the city and how comfortable your old bed was. Your mind drifted off to that night when Hyunjin snuck in, right before your prom.
Six years ago
"Hey, little bunny." Hyunjin had climbed through the window that you left open for him, knocking down one of your books from the shelf next to it in the process.
"Hyun!" you scolded him with a chuckle.
"I know, I know. I'm trying to be quiet." he whispered, lifting his arms up in defeat.
"Come here, clumsy." you giggled and he practically skipped to you, his long arms wrapping around your smaller frame and pulling you into him.
"I'm so excited for tomorrow." your voice was muffled by his chest and he chuckled.
"Me too. I hope I don't step on your toes." he grimaced and you looked up at him, your fingers tangled in his long dark hair.
"You won't. You're a great dancer and we practiced a lot." you smiled, caressing the back of his neck and Hyunjin melted, his arms tightening around you.
"Yes, but when I'm nervous I can't control my body." he whined with a pout. "There will be other people there, looking at us and-"
"You'll do fine, trust me." you interrupted his nervous babbling. "Just imagine it's the two of us, like right now." you swayed slowly and he followed you, exhaling and pressing his forehead against yours.
"I love you, little bunny." he whispered.
"I love you too, Jinnie." you whispered back and his lips were on yours instantly. Hands explored awkwardly as you were backed into your bed, falling down with Hyunjin on top of you. You had messed around like this before, his hands under your nightgown, fingers dipping into your underwear, your hand wrapped around his length.
"H-Hyunjin?" you whimpered as he slowly pumped his fingers inside you, kissing your neck.
"Yes, doll?" he whispered back, the nickname giving you shivers.
"I'm ready. For... you know. I wanna go all the way with you." you bit on your lip as his eyes widened.
"Are you- are you sure? I can wait for you for however long you need. You don't have to feel pressured." he shook his head, pulling his fingers out.
"No, no. I am sure. I love you and I want to be yours completely." you gripped at his shoulders and Hyunjin's heart leaped out of his chest as he smiled sweetly at you.
"I want to be yours completely too. Be your first and your last. And you mine."
"Jinnie." you almost started crying from the overwhelming feelings, your lips quickly finding his. Hyunjin was a little awkward, unsure of himself and scared that he'll hurt you or do something wrong but he was still gentle, trying to put you first even though he was more excited than ever to have you like this and be connected with you.
"I have condoms in the drawer." you pointed at the nightstand and he narrowed his eyes at you.
"You were planning this?" his face became as red as a tomato.
"I mean, yeah." you nodded, the color of your cheeks matching his. "I've wanted this with you for some time but I was nervous to tell you." you admitted.
"You're so cute, bunny." Hyunjin giggled, caressing your cheek gently with his knuckles.
"Ugh." you groaned in embarrassment while he kept chuckling, reaching for the drawer.
The moment he started pushing in, the world around you disappeared and you were concentrated only on him.
"Does it hurt?" Hyunjin asked as he kept filling you up gently.
"A little." you gasped, it was definitely a bigger stretch than his fingers.
"I'm sorry." he looked guilty immediately. "Do you want me to stop?"
"N-no. Keep going." you whispered, holding onto his upper back.
Hyunjin's eyes fluttered shut when he bottomed out inside you, his entire body was buzzing, his heart was beating fast and he was trying to gather all the mental and physical strength not to finish too quickly.
"Y/n." he gasped when he finally opened his eyes and looked at you, a sweet lovestruck expression on your face, your eyes sparkling, all for him, all his.
"Hyunjin." you moaned at the way he felt inside you and the way he looked at you, like you hung all the stars in the sky just for him.
"I adore you, bunny." Hyunjin said gently and your heart bursted right then and there.
"I adore you too." you whispered back.
He slowly started moving inside you, whispering words of love and praise the entire time as you clutched onto him and returned his praises.
You've never felt like that before, completely and utterly loved by him, connected with him.
Which made it harder for you to give him the news you were supposed to tomorrow after prom.
Present time
You were rudely awakened at 5am when the rooster in your nana's backyard started crowing loudly.
"Ugh!" you forgot about all the charms of living in a village as you grabbed the pillow and put it over your face, a muffled 'shut up' pressed into it. You waited for a few moments, throwing the pillow aside and turning to your left, coming face to face with the teddy bear Hyunjin gave you, which of course you named 'Jinnie' back then, making your boyfriend laugh adoringly at you.
"Good morning, Jinnie." you said to the teddy, pulling the plushie closer to you as you hugged it and sighed. "Guess I should get up." you added with a shrug before stretching and then getting up.
You opened up your wardrobe, choosing to wear a red dress with a dainty floral print on it and got ready in your room, listening to music just like you did every day before school or a date with your boyfriend years ago. You opened up another drawer in your table and gasped when you saw the corsage that Hyunjin gave to you when he came to pick you up before prom.
You clutched it in your hand and thought back to that night, when Hyunjin came to pick you up.
Six years ago
To say Hyunjin was nervous was an understatement. He felt as if every atom of his being was about to burst into little pieces when he rang your doorbell. He was a wreck as he kept wiping his sweaty palms against his jacket, annoyed at the fact that no matter how many deep breaths he took, his heart was still hammering against his chest, ready to burst. Why was he so nervous? It was just you, his little bunny.
Oh, but he wasn't ready and he was right to be so nervous because as soon as your grandma opened the door with a smile, ushering him in, his eyes landed on you and they widened. Hyunjin felt as if the world stopped spinning, all the clocks stopped ticking, his heart quit beating and his breath got stuck in his throat. You became the only center of gravity, pulling him in towards you and nothing else around the two of you mattered.
He was completely and utterly floored and whipped for you.
Hyunjin finally understood the meaning of the word 'breathtaking' because that was the only thing that came to mind as you smiled at him so beautifully, so in love, so happy, wearing the most gorgeous dress he'd ever seen you in.
"Y/n." was the only thing he managed to say and you chuckled, your heart swelling at his reaction.
It was your turn to gawk as he came closer to you, you'd never seen him wearing a suit before and he looked even more handsome than he ever did. Your knees buckled when he stood close to you, the smell of his cologne was intoxicating but his lovestruck smile was even more mesmerizing.
Your grandparents smiled lovingly at the two of you before glancing at each other knowingly as Hyunjin gave you your corsage, gently putting it on your wrist. So many pictures were taken before you had to rush out so you wouldn't be late to the dance.
The night was magical and everything seemed possible under the fairy lights as Hyunjin and you swayed to the gentle melody of the familiar song coming from the speakers.
"Do you want to slip out after our song?" Hyunjin's plump lips brushed against your ear as he pulled you tighter into his heated body.
"Won't the chaperones notice?" you asked as you looked up at him only to find him smirking.
"We'll be stealthy." he said and you giggled.
"Right, stealthy."
"Yes, see I didn't even step on your foot!"
"Not yet." you teased him and Hyunjin pouted, whining and burying his face in your shoulder.
"Mean bunny." he tickled your sides, making you squirm and squeal.
"Fine, sorry." you giggled, knowing he wasn't actually offended. "You did a great job." you added and Hyunjin looked up at you with a sweet smile, his cheeks rosy.
"Thank you, doll. You did too." he smirked, brushing his lips against yours.
You managed to sneak out somehow while everyone was dancing to a quicker beat and you knew exactly where you were going; to your favorite spot with Hyunjin, the path to it so familiar that you could walk through it blind, the soil remembering all your footsteps.
"Hyune, um... I'm wearing heels." you whispered as he shined the path ahead with a little pocket flashlight.
"Oh, right." he thought for a moment before kneeling down. "Get on my back, doll."
"Are you sure?" you asked and he chuckled.
"Of course." he nodded eagerly and you climbed up on his back, feeling light and happy, giggles spilling from both of your lips. "Hold this." Hyunjin gave you the light and you shined it ahead as he gripped the back of your thighs and carried you.
Being a little tease, Hyunjin pretended he was going to drop you a few times only to have you almost scream as your arms wrapped tighter around him.
"Stop that!" you whined.
"Sorry, sorry bunny. I'll stop. You're just so cute." he smirked.
"If you weren't carrying me right now, you'd be in big trouble." you scolded and Hyunjin let out a laugh, your favorite tree coming into view.
"Yes, I know. Biiiig trouble." he kept chuckling and you were this close to biting his shoulder.
"Here we are, bunny." he gently put you down and wrapped his arm around you as the two of you stared at the carving in the trunk.
Hyunjin + Y/n.
Both of you laughed then, you had carved your names in when you were barely 16 and seeing it now was equally as embarrassing as it was sweet.
"Y/n?"
"Yeah?" you looked up at Hyunjin and he smiled sweetly at you.
"I promise I'll love you forever." he whispered, lifting his pinky and you giggled.
"I promise I'll love you forever too, my sweet Jinnie." you whispered back, your pinky curling around his.
Hyunjin chuckled in delight and pulled you into a sweet kiss.
You didn't have the heart to tell him you got into uni and would be leaving the village in September.
Present time
You had to go visit the tree.
"Fuck." you cursed, angrily wiping your tears away, before putting the corsage back into the drawer and slamming it shut.
Too many memories.
You quickly made your way downstairs where your nana was already serving breakfast.
"Oh, I thought you'd be sleeping more, dear." she lifted her brows in surprise.
"I thought so too." you joked, giving her a pointed look and she laughed.
"I see you forgot how it is here." nana shook her head. "When you haven't been around for so long."
"I'm sorry." you grimaced, sitting down to eat with her. "I know I should've visited more. I got caught up in studies and work and-"
"Breathe, dear." your grandma squeezed your hand with a chuckle. "It's not me who you should be explaining this to."
You gulped, knowing she was referring to Hyunjin.
"Where's grandpa?" you asked.
"He's out back, working."
"I was thinking of going for a walk before lunch. I'll make sure to come back though to help out."
"Sure, dear. You haven't been here for so long, you should catch up with the place and the people." grandma nodded with a wink and that was exactly what you planned to do.
It was around 7am when you finally walked out of the house, inhaling the fresh air you were deprived of in the big city. It was a bit chilly in the morning so you draped a light jacket over your shoulders and let your legs lead you through the familiar streets.
You still didn't want to see Hyunjin so you went the opposite direction of his house, trying to stick to the shadows for now, just to have a little more peace to yourself and mentally prepare for the inevitable encounters of everyone you grew up with.
It was painful. Walking all the familiar paths you walked through before with him, it was as if you could hear his laughter echoing down the street. Your heart squeezed in your chest when you realized just where your legs had taken you.
The tree.
It was still there, as tall as ever, its branches familiar as you and Hyunjin had laid under them multiple times, kissing, talking, laughing, holding each other close. You walked closer, your eyes brimming with tears when you saw the carving. Hyunjin + Y/n. Forever.
The word you had added that night after prom.
You cursed yourself mentally for crying again and being so overcome with emotions. You couldn't stand there for too long and were about to leave when something caught your eye. Another carving, smaller and almost unnoticeable on the right side of yours. You leaned in closer to inspect it and your heart almost stopped.
Hyunjin.
Nothing else, just his name was carved into the wood and you felt fresh tears forming in your eyes. Leaving was definitely a mistake, maybe the biggest mistake you ever made, especially after the let down you experienced in the city. You wiped your tears away again and decided to leave the tree be, your heart hurting at the thought of Hyunjin sitting under the branches alone, carving his name and wondering why you had never called back or came to see him. You walked away, back down the path and into the village, deep in your thoughts. Lost in the memories of what once was you didn't even realize where you came, as your legs walked on autopilot.
Only when the familiar light blue house came into view, you snapped from your thoughts, eyes wide and heart dropping into your stomach.
"Shit!" you whisper-yelled. This was the only house you wanted to avoid and yet you were standing right in front of it. As far as you knew, Hyunjin's parents didn't live there anymore, he was living in the big house completely alone, his only companions his animals.
Your knees almost gave out as you stared, before getting spooked when you heard barking. A big black dog ran to the fence, barking at you in warning. You had never seen it before so Hyunjin must've gotten it after you went to the city. You backed away as the dog kept barking at you in a not-so-friendly manner. You turned and started walking away, hoping Hyunjin didn't hear that or wasn't home because you still weren't ready to see him let alone talk to him.
Then, you heard a familiar voice.
"Easy girl, easy." you assumed he was talking to the dog as the barking subsided immediately and you stopped in your tracks.
"Well, well." you heard then. "If it isn't little bunny."
Your heart leaped out of your chest. You hadn't heard that nickname in years.
"Don't even wanna say hi?" Hyunjin continued and you heard the sound of the little fence door opening. Slowly, you turned around and basically almost fainted.
This wasn't your sweet, shy and little Jinnie. You almost didn't recognize him as you stared at him with eyes wide and mouth agape.
His long hair was gone, replaced by a neat buzzcut that was also bleached, he had piercings on his ears, his arms were big and muscular, a few tattoos here and there, visible in the tanktop he wore. He looked taller, bigger, more manly. Your knees buckled and the more you looked at him the more you felt lightheaded.
Hyunjin smirked, noticing how you were salivating and a little chuckle escaped his lips.
"Gonna catch flies like that." he teased and you closed your mouth, attempting to compose yourself as you stood up straighter. His eyes then traveled all over your frame, the teasing glint inside them turning into something softer until they fell on the necklace and he felt as if the ground underneath his feet almost gave out.
You were still wearing it. Just like he was, his half heart hidden under his top.
"Hi." you said quietly. "You look different."
"A lot can change in six years." he stated, still keeping a good distance away from you.
"It can." you stepped back, feeling suffocated by his presence as you tried to read his face and tone of voice. Was there anger? Regret? Did he resent you?
"You're different too." a small smile appeared on his lips.
"How so?" you tilted your head to the left, thinking how you pretty much looked the same since the end of high school.
"You've gotten even more beautiful." Hyunjin said like it was nothing and you were sure you were having a heart attack in that moment.
"I- That- Thank you." you had no idea what to say. "I have to go... Help nana with lunch. And stuff."
Hyunjin smiled wider.
"I'll see you later then, bunny."
"Sure." you turned around so quickly that you almost snapped your neck. Hyunjin watched with bathed breath as you scurried away from him.
You finally came back.
-
"Did you see Hyunjin?" nana asked as you helped her clean around the kitchen after lunch.
"Accidentally, yes." you said and she chuckled.
"I never understood why you broke up, you two are made for each other." she said and you almost dropped the plate you were holding.
"We didn't... actually break up. I just left."
"I thought you were still together back then, I was wondering why he never went to visit you or you him. I only realized you weren't together once he asked me if I knew where you lived in the city. Which I forgot the address, dear, so I hope I didn't do anything wrong by not telling him."
"No, no, nana. You did nothing wrong. It was my fault. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I'm not so sure anymore." your eyes welled up with tears as you clutched onto the counter.
"Oh, honey." your grandma was instantly by your side.
"I told him I would come back. I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me now and wanted nothing to do with me." you sniffled as nana wiped your tears away.
"Oh dear, Hyunjin doesn't hate you. He talks very fondly of you always. That boy still loves you."
"He- He does?" you thought back to your encounter today.
"A love like that doesn't disappear overnight. Or over the span of six years." your grandma teased, making you chuckle through your tears.
"If you say so."
"Talk to him. He is coming to dinner tonight anyways." she announced.
"He is what?!" you almost yelled.
"He usually joins us for dinner. At least a few days in the week."
You panicked immediately.
"I have to go get ready then!"
Nana bursted into laughter as she watched you frantically run up the stairs.
"What was that about?" grandpa came in, looking up at the metaphorical dust that you left behind after running.
"Oh you know. Love." grandma winked at him and he shook his head with a smile.
Shit.
Hyunjin is coming over for dinner. You had to look your best.
You've gotten even more beautiful.
His words rang in your head and your cheeks became red instantly, heart beating hard in your chest. You quickly opened your wardrobe and began throwing clothes everywhere, your room soon looking as if a tornado had passed through it. You tried on multiple outfits but with every single one you found something wrong. The color was too bright, the shirt was too big, the pants looked weird...
So you settled on another dress, a pretty and white flowy one with yellow flowers on it, the shape of it accentuating your frame, your bare legs on display. You decided to wear heels too and put on some makeup. You were so nervous as if you hadn't already been his.
While you were doing your hair, you stared into your reflection and remembered that warm summer night when you told Hyunjin you were leaving.
Six years ago
Hyunjin and you sat on a blanket, staring up at the stars shimmering in the dark sky.
"Jinnie." you swallowed nervously.
"Yes, bunny?" he smiled, playing with your fingers.
"I have something to tell you."
"Oh? Okay." he nodded, sitting up.
"Um. It's been weighing on me since prom."
"You sound serious." Hyunjin's expression turned into one of worry.
"It is serious. And I didn't tell you earlier because I was afraid of how you'd react." your heart started beating fast. "I got into my uni of choice."
"Bunny! You did?" he smiled wide. "Why didn't you tell me that? You know I support you and I'm proud of you."
"I know. It's just that... I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be back." you said. "We talked about this briefly before but... I don't want to stay in the village. There is nothing for me here, I mean career wise. Meanwhile... You decided to work with your father and build your life here."
Hyunjin's smile dropped.
"What are you saying?" his voice sounded strained.
"Are we... Are we breaking up?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes.
"No. No. I don't want to. I don't know." you bit your lip and looked away from him.
"Y/n. Please, don't do this. I've known no one but you my whole life. You're the one I love and the one I promised forever to. We even talked about building a life together, getting married, having kids."
"I know, I know. You're my first love, Jinnie. And those were all nice daydreams but there comes a time when you need to grow up."
"Daydreams? Bunny. Those were plans." his bottom lip trembled and he frowned. "This really sounds like you're breaking up with me."
"No, no." tears started spilling down your cheeks when you saw the hurt in his eyes and realized how harsh your words sounded. "Just... I'm confused. I don't know what to do." you put your hands over your face, a sob escaping your lips.
Hyunjin's eyes softened and he put his hand on your upper back, gently caressing you.
"Hey, look. I know you're scared now, this is a big change. But, we'll figure it out together. You go finish your studies, do what you always wanted to. But please don't throw away what we have. I'll always wait for you, I'll wait until you come visit or I can visit you. We can call each other, we don't have to grow apart in order for you to grow."
"I guess not." his words hit you hard as you looked up at him.
"Don't cry, baby. I love you and I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of my little bunny." he talked, wiping your tears away.
"Jinnie. I love you too." you clutched onto his shirt and cried into his chest.
Oh, how you were going to miss him.
Present time
But after you left, you never even contacted him.
You knew how cruel that was but you thought it was for the best. If you were going to build a life in the city and he was going to stay behind in the village, it was better off like this.
Childhood crushes and high school sweethearts don't always last, do they?
But, your heart hurt so badly every day you were away from Hyunjin. You wanted to forget him, stop loving him but you couldn't no matter how hard you tried. Every time you thought you were ready to take off the couple necklace, your hands would stop functioning. You couldn't bring yourself to do that, the necklace felt as if it was a part of you and despite being away from Hyunjin you knew your heart would always belong to him.
With a sigh, you finished getting ready, wondering if he could really still love you after you'd hurt him like that.
Before you could come down, you heard voices under your window and you stalked towards it curiously. It was closed so you couldn't understand what they were saying but Hyunjin stood there with your grandpa, his back turned to you. You gasped a little, noticing then how his shoulders and upper back also got wider, the black shirt he wore almost ripping at the seams.
"Give me strength." you prayed to whoever was listening before you decided to stop hiding and finally made your way downstairs.
"Yes, I'll definitely ask Chan to help out with the fence, I think he won't be busy this weekend." Hyunjin said to your grandpa as they walked into the kitchen.
"Great! That's settled then!" grandpa clapped his hands with a satisfied smile. Hyunjin looked up at you then and stopped walking, giving you the elevator eyes.
"Good evening." he smirked a little.
"Evening." you said breathlessly and you grandma chuckled.
"Why are you two acting so formal?" grandpa asked as you sat down.
"Leave them be. They just encountered each other after a long time." nana scolded him and he gave a little shrug.
Hyunjin was sitting right across from you and you felt as if there was nowhere to hide. He kept looking at you curiously and you felt so awkward, trying to avoid his eyes as all of you started taking food out on the plates and eating.
Hyunjin couldn't calm his heart down. All the feelings that he carried inside of him every single day, from dawn to late night, were now amplified a thousand times. All those nights he had thought about you and seen you in his dreams couldn't compare to you actually being in front of him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, he missed you deeply. The love he always had for you never subsided, it only grew more even while you were apart.
Though, he knew that there were things the two of you needed to talk about, he decided not to think about the hurtful side of it, tossing it in the back of his mind as he continued to bask in your presence. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, your hands, the way your brows creased when you asked a question to your nana, the way you looked up at him timidly only to look away, the way you nervously chewed on your bottom lip, the way that necklace he gave you laid on your skin, still there, as if you had never left, a sign that you perhaps still loved him as much as he loved you.
"So, how is the city treating ya?" Hyunjin asked you suddenly, eyes trained on you as they have been the entire evening.
"It's... okay." you answered but Hyunjin knew you were lying. He knew when you wore a fake smile and he knew the tone of your voice once you tried to convince yourself you're fine.
"Oh yeah? Got that job you always wanted, hm?" he asked and you looked up at him, trying to see if he was mocking you or resenting you but he looked genuinely curious.
"I did." you answered shortly, a knot forming in your stomach. "I got what I wanted." you forced another smile.
"I'm glad you did." he smiled and you felt the urge to cry again. You wondered what was wrong with you and shook your head, trying to will yourself to smile back at him.
"I always thought the two of you would get married." your nana chimed in, making you almost choke on a piece of bread. Hyunjin chuckled and looked at you.
"We're still young." he smirked a little and you started praying that the floor opens up and swallows you whole.
"You two remind me of us when we were younger." grandpa nodded with a smile.
No, you thought, please stop.
You were really going to start crying.
"Excuse me. I need some air." you stood up abruptly, the chair almost falling over behind you.
Hyunjin watched as you ran out of the front door and he stood up too, excusing himself and following you.
You stood on the porch, hugging yourself and sniffling.
"Y/n?" Hyunjin approached you cautiously. You quickly wiped your tears away with the sleeve of your cardigan before turning to look at him.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Sure." you nodded but he knew you were crying.
"You wanna take a walk?" Hyunjin asked, biting on his lip and you chuckled, shaking your head.
"Yeah, why not." you nodded, maybe it was time to stop avoiding him.
You didn't even discuss where you were going to go, you just started walking together in the same direction you always did while you grew up here. It was quiet for a while, only the song of the crickets filling up your ears, a few distant barks and the breeze rustling through the leaves.
"So, what have you been doing?" you asked, trying to break the ice. You couldn't believe you felt so awkward with someone you could talk to the easiest with, out of anyone in your entire life.
"Me? Oh, you know... Working around the farm. I repaired the entire house with some of my mates. It was in a really bad shape, if you remember. We re-did everything, even the roofing and the pipes. Repainted the entire place, changed the furniture... So, it's now like a new house. And I have horses and chickens. A garden. I mean, I work all day, help out others too." he chuckled. "My parents are in the city, they visit sometimes. But, mostly I'm here with Rina, she has been my best friend for three years now."
"Rina?" your stomach dropped instantly.
"Yes, that overprotective black dog that barked at you." Hyunjin smirked at your expression.
"Oh... That's Rina." you said absentmindedly, finally glancing at him.
Your heart stopped.
The necklace. He must've unbuttoned one more button while you were walking, making the other half of the heart visible under his collarbone. He never stopped wearing it either. Suddenly, your stomach filled up with butterflies.
"She's wary of strangers coming near me."
Ouch.
"Yeah." you turned away, the butterflies turning into a feeling of nausea.
"I mean, strangers to her." Hyunjin clarified, realizing how he sounded.
"Yeah, I understand." you gave him a smile you hoped looked real, because you were seconds away from crying. "You still paint?" you decided to change the subject.
"Oh yeah, all the time." he smiled. "Enough about me. What about you?"
"Me? I also work all day. In the office. It's... interesting, I guess. I bought an apartment recently, it's really modern." you talked, realizing how empty your words sounded then. You had no idea what to tell Hyunjin. He had all these projects and people who care about him, animals he cares for and his hobbies. Meanwhile, all you had was a job you ended up hating and no one to come home to.
"I travel a lot." you added, trying to fill up the silence. "For work but also for fun, with some of my coworkers. We went all the way to Bali last year. It was a fun trip, you know. Stuff like that."
"Sounds exhilarating." Hyunjin said, sounding anything but. "Anyone special in your life?"
Why did he ask that.
"No, nobody." you quickly answered.
Hyunjin was hoping you'd say that.
"Good. I mean- Me neither." he coughed awkwardly and stopped walking. You were about to ask why he stopped when you noticed where you were.
"Oh." you let out a chuckle, your face warming up.
You hadn't even realized you came to the only park in the village, and not just that, you were standing in front of your and Hyunjin's bench, where you used to sit after school, talking and kissing.
And well, you sat here on many evenings just like this one, making out. Your face started burning suddenly.
"Shall we sit?" Hyunjin asked and you nodded reluctantly as you felt like you were going to throw up from nerves. The two of you sat down, the silence stretching between you again.
"I-" Hyunjin opened his mouth, then closed them, repeating the action a few times, his brows furrowing and cheeks rosy, his hands gripping the edge of the bench like he was struggling to get his words out. You were almost swallowed by the nerves you felt in that moment, you were scared that he was going to tell you off, just what you deserve.
"I tried to find you." he let out a shaky exhale. "You covered up your tracks pretty well." he scoffed. "I mean, I got the message. You didn't want to see me ever again. And I'd be fine with that if only you gave me a reason, told me why you just disappeared from my life when you've been a part of it since forever. I thought for some time that you have completely abandoned me. But, somewhere deep in my soul I knew you'd be back one day, Y/n."
"Hyunjin..." your bottom lip trembled as your eyes watered. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I made a huge mistake. And I would totally understand if you hated me or resented me and never wanted to forgive me. Just know I felt bad the entire time and I still do." you were full on crying and feeling embarrassed, you looked away from Hyunjin.
"I could never hate you, little bunny." his voice sounded soft and you willed yourself to look at him while you wiped your tears away even though they kept coming. "And I forgave you a long time ago." he whispered. You noticed he was sitting closer to you and your body trembled.
"You did? Why?" you asked quietly.
"Because it's you." he answered simply and you felt annoyed, wanting to hear more. But, before you could ask Hyunjin stood up abruptly.
"Let's meet up tomorrow. Have a picnic like we always used to." he said and you stood up too.
You stared at him and kept thinking, could things go back to how they were before?
You felt as if there was something he wasn't telling you yet, there was no way he forgave you so easily for abandoning him.
"What do you say?" Hyunjin looked at you hopefully.
"Sure. Yeah." you nodded, your body swirling with feelings of confusion, excitement, nostalgia, happiness, sadness... You had no idea how to explain it.
"Great. I'll come to your house around 10am."
"Sounds good."
"Let me walk you home." he added, the two of you walking and talking about the village, who stayed and who moved, which new stores opened and all the other insignificant little things just to avoid the big elephant that needed to be addressed.
"I'll see you tomorrow, bunny." Hyunjin put his hands in his jeans pockets, trying to look nonchalant.
"See you." you hurried inside.
"And that smile?" your nana's voice scared you.
"Oh, nana! Ugh, nothing. I'm just going to see Hyunjin tomorrow." you answered quickly.
"Oh. Hyunjin." she smirked knowingly. "Well, have a good night." she winked before leaving to her room.
You hoped you were going to be able to sleep tonight.
You managed to sleep through the rooster's wake up call, opening your eyes just in time to get ready for your picnic date.
Was it a date? You had no idea what was going to happen but still you wore another pretty dress and put on your makeup. You decided to wear extra shiny lipgloss to make your lips stand out, hopefully get Hyunjin's attention. You felt giddy, like you were that same school girl meeting up her boyfriend, the love of her life.
"Oh, dear you look so pretty." your grandma noted when you came downstairs.
"Thank you, nana." you smiled.
"Are you gonna eat anything?"
"No, Hyunjin told me not to worry and that he'd bring everything."
"Okay, well have fun you two!" she winked at you and you kissed her cheek before skipping out of the house and towards the street where Hyunjin said he'd wait for you.
He wasn't there yet so you stood in place, shifting from foot to foot and wondering why he is late since he'd always been punctual. It was already almost 10:15 and you were beginning to think he had played a cruel joke on you. You were already tearing up at the thought of that but maybe you deserved it after the way you treated him.
You were about to turn around and leave but you heard heavy footsteps running towards you.
"Y/n! I'm so sorry for being late!" it was a breathless Hyunjin, leaning his palms against his knees as he scrunched his face up and tried to calm his heart. "I ran into Chan on the way and he needed help carrying some things, I couldn't say no." he swallowed, straightening up.
Just then you noticed the backpack on his shoulders and the thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead, the tanktop was there again and your eyes followed all the veins popping out.
"Oh, it's okay." you shook your head, feeling stupid.
"Shall we?" he smiled and you nodded, letting him lead the way. His eyes lingered on your lips for a while as he bit on his, before starting to walk. It was clear to you where you were going, the tree was your picnic and stargazing spot for years.
"I saw you by the tree the other day." Hyunjin said, putting his backpack down and opening it.
"Oh? You did?" your heart climbed up your throat.
"Yeah." he smiled. " I thought I was hallucinating."
You chuckled, feeling the need to smack his arm like you always did when he made you laugh but you refrained from doing so.
"Nope, I'm here." you said, helping him put the blanket down.
"I'm glad you are." he said and the two of you sat down, Hyunjin taking everything that he had packed out; fruit salad, sandwiches, coffee. You didn't feel like you deserved this. You wanted to ask him so many things. Like why did he carve his name alone in the tree trunk, why did he seem so normal about all of this, why didn't he just yell at you, like any other person would after being hurt.
"Hyunjin?" you gulped, poking around the plastic container with the fruit. He gave you an unreadable look, his brows furrowing.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" he said and you chuckled nervously.
"Well, that's your name."
"Yeah but you always called me nicknames. Like Jinnie or Hyune. And other things." he looked at the field of flowers swaying in front of you.
You hadn't answered so he turned to look at you.
"Why aren't you yelling at me or cursing me out?" you asked and Hyunjin's eyes widened a little.
"Why would I do that?" he tilted his head.
"Because I promised I'd love you forever and I left. I didn't even come back for six years, I thought I was doing a good thing. That I'd be better off in the city and you'd be better off without me. That I'd be able to move on and forget you. I thought I'd never come back here but after what happened-" your shut your lips tightly, eyes watering. "After being disappointed with everything I thought I wanted in my life, I came back here and expected to see that you moved on or even gotten married. I expected you to hate me, yell at me, curse at me. But here we are, sitting under our tree, having a picnic like I never broke your heart and mine." you were now full on crying, your bottom lip trembling and hands shaking.
Hyunjin observed you with a wistful look in his eyes before smiling softly.
"You wanna know why I'm not yelling or cursing at you?" he said, leaning closer to you.
"W-why?" you stuttered, he got into your private space and even though he changed and grew, he still had that comforting scent of Hyunjin, the one that brought you so much comfort and nostalgia.
"Because of this." he reached towards you and gently gripped the pendant of your necklace between his fingertips. "You're still wearing our necklace. And that tells me everything I need to know. Bunny, I've known you my whole life, I've loved you my whole life. I knew you wouldn't be happy in the city and I knew you'd come back here to me one day. I know that because we were made for each other and because I could feel you inside me every day. I just knew our story wasn't over, it was just beginning."
You were at a loss of words, crying and sobbing as Hyunjin talked, feeling embarrassed and also like you wanted to roll down the hill from excitement. You wiped at your face, trying not to screw up the makeup you worked so hard on while letting his words settle inside your head.
"Oh my god, Hyunjin!" you shrieked suddenly, grabbing onto his arm on accident.
"Y/n." he laughed as you kept squealing and gripping at his bicep while a little bee flew around your body. "It's just a bee, don't be scared."
"Please, make it go away." you whined.
"What can I do, a bee found a pretty flower." Hyunjin smirked at you then and you looked up at him with your eyes squinted before slapping his arm. The loud sound made you jolt a little and you looked down at the muscle, something fluttering inside you. Your cheeks warmed up instantly. Hyunjin smirked, his other hand cupping your jaw gently as he made you look at him.
"You didn't break your promise, doll. You still love me." he smiled.
"I do." you confessed quietly and his eyes sparkled a little as he leaned in closer. His eyes fluttered, his cheeks became rosy and his warm breath caressed your lips. You jolted away suddenly, afraid and you had no idea why.
"I'm sorry!" you said quickly, placing your palm over your heart. Hyunjin looked a little confused, his fingers twitching as his hands longed to comfort you in any way they could.
"I got nervous." you said and Hyunjin laughed.
"Don't laugh at me!" you whined with a pout, kicking your feet a little and that made him laugh even harder. "Stop it." you crossed your arms over your chest with a little huff escaping your lips.
"You're just so cute, bunny." how many times has he told you that and it still made your heart flutter. "It's okay. I waited for you for six years, I can wait a little more."
"I just didn't expect things to go like this." you swallowed and Hyunjin scooted closer to you, tentatively touching your fingertips with his. That was enough for you to feel the electricity running through your body.
"I understand. We'll fall back into us in no time."
"You think so?" you asked, inching closer to him, your fingers now playing with his.
"I know so." he smiled confidently. "Just have to ask one question."
"Anything." you nodded.
"Are you back for good or just the anniversary?"
You looked down and took in a deep breath.
"Please don't tell this to my grandparents yet. But I am back for good. I quit my job and sold my apartment, I didn't tell them anything because I am just waiting for the right moment." your voice trembled.
"Didn't something happen?" Hyunjin asked, leaning down to look at your face.
"Just... People were disgusting. The job was depressing. The apartment was cold. The city was lonely. And maybe a part of me hoped you'd be here waiting for me no matter how selfish that is. Because, I don't think I could ever stop loving you, Jinnie. Even if someone wiped away my entire memory I would still have you engraved inside my heart."
"Bunny." Hyunjin cupped your cheeks. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone anything. I'm sad you went through all of that but it brought you back here, didn't it?"
You nodded.
"And I am glad it did." he leaned in again.
"Ack! The bee!" you squealed as the little creature came back to buzzing around you.
"Silly." Hyunjin chuckled under his breath, 'shielding' you from the scary bee.
You felt as if a stone has been lifted off of your heart as the two of you continued catching up and reminiscing of the good old days. Hours passed by so quickly that you almost didn't realize it was lunch time.
"Nana is expecting me at home for lunch. Do you wanna join us?" you asked with a timid smile.
"I'd love to but Chan invited me to his house for lunch today. We'll come to you tomorrow, he is also excited to see you again, you know that you were always like a little sister to him."
"Oh, I'm excited to see him too." you chuckled.
You couldn't believe that everyone has welcomed you with open arms after you left like that and you were still trying to come to terms that you won't be going back to the city ever again.
When Hyunjin said him and Chan would come around to help your grandpa repair the fence out back, you totally forgot about the fact that Hyunjin would be in a sleeveless top, flexing his muscles and wiping away his sweat constantly. Summer was knocking at the door and the sun was high in the sky. You wore the red dress from the first day, the one Hyunjin stared at so intently when you stood outside of his house. When Chan saw you he made a funny squealing noise, running up to you and picking you up as if you were paper doll, spinning you around as you screamed at him to put you down.
"Aww little Y/n is back!" he pinched your cheeks and you smacked his hands away with a pout.
"I'm only three years younger than you, bro." you emphasized and he laughed.
"I'm glad to see you here. I was beginning to think our Hyunjinnie would die alone." he smirked and Hyunjin punched his side with his fist mumbling a 'shut up or else' and you let out a laugh.
"Congrats on getting married, old man." you smirked and Hyunjin was glad you teased Chan back, a snicker escaping his lips.
"Didn't you say a moment ago it was only three years difference?" he smirked back and you exhaled, rolling your eyes playfully.
"Enough chit-chat. Time to work, boys." you chuckled, sitting at the table your granparents put in the backyard. It was placed under a tree that gave a good shade to it, so it wasn't as hot as it would be but for you it felt like you were enveloped by the sun itself.
Hyunjin was working in the sunlight, his soft skin glistening with sweat almost making him look ethereal and unreal. His muscles were flexing constantly as he moved and lifted stuff up, the veins popping out and now visible everywhere on his arms, hands and even his neck. You were feeling very hot and bothered, feeling like you couldn't breathe properly as your legs pressed together. He glanced at you a few times and you saw the little smirk on his face.
He was provoking you on purpose, the little tease.
Two can play this game, you thought and got up, entering the house so you could find a little towel. You took that time to put on more lipgloss and adjust your dress so your cleavage was more visible.
"There." you nodded to yourself with a smirk before walking back outside and straight towards Hyunjin.
"It's hot, isn't it?" your voice sounded sweet, dripping with honey as you hovered over him where he kneeled, working on the fence. He looked up at you, covering his forehead with his hand so the sun doesn't get into his eyes. His mouth went dry instantly, your bare thighs were right in front of his eyes and your chest on display as you leaned over him.
"Hot. Yes." he managed to say.
"Let me help you with that, Jinnie." you smirked, leaning down a little more as you started gently patting at his forehead, wiping the sweat off and he just sat there breathing heavily as you kept going lower, patting his neck now, noticing how he leaned into your touch, how his eyes fluttered and his breath hitched.
"Better?" you moved away suddenly and he snapped from his trance.
"Y-Yeah."
"Thirsty?" you asked, louder so Chan hears it too.
"Yes!" Chan yelled, his back turned to you thankfully.
You smirked as Hyunjin gulped, staring after you as you turned around towards the house to make some lemonade for the boys. Hyunjin couldn't stop staring at you when they took a break, munching on some cookies your nana made and drinking the fresh lemonade. His eyes fixated on your shiny lips and he longed to taste you once again. Chan kept yapping about his wife and farm enthusiastically and you kept nodding and chuckling all the while Hyunjin didn't even hear a word that came out of Chan's mouth.
It was almost sundown when the boys were done and nana invited them to stay over for dinner, ushering them both to first wash their hands thoroughly before touching any food. The atmosphere was warm and homely, a happy feeling swelling inside your chest. You were home, where you were always supposed to be, where you belonged, with Hyunjin.
"I'll be right back." you stood up after dinner, running upstairs to fix your makeup.
Hyunjin waited for a moment before he followed you to your room. You walked out of the bathroom when he appeared on the doorway, leaning there with a fond smile on his face.
"It looks like a time capsule in here." he looked around in wonder, taking a tentative step inside.
"You haven't been up here?" you asked, eyebrows raised as he looked around, taking in all the memories you two had created together.
"No, your grandparents kept it closed. There was no need for me to be here." Hyunjin's eyes lit up when he looked at your bed. "Jinnie! You kept him!" he pointed to your teddy bear, walking in and picking it up.
"Of course I did. I kept everything."
"Even those cute diaries?" Hyunjin smirked. "Dear diary, today Jinnie and I held hands for the first time as boyfriend and girlfriend. Everyone saw us walking to school together-"
"Shut up!" you squealed, ripping the teddy away from him and smacking him with it multiple times as he laughed at your red cheeks.
"What? It was cute." he giggled, slinking away from your attack.
"It's embarrassing. Even more because you still remember what I wrote. Are you sure you haven't been up here?" you teased, putting Jinnie back on the bed and walking to your table.
"I haven't since the last time we were here together." Hyunjin was behind you suddenly, his voice low as his lips brushed against your ear. You gasped, remembering the last night you spent here with him, on top of him as he guided your hips against his slowly, wanting to make it last as long as possible so you never forget how he feels.
"Right." you turned abruptly, the back of your thighs colliding with the table as he hovered over you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating off of his body.
He smelled so good even after working in the sun almost all day and his skin looked like it needed to be touched, kissed, bitten. A zap of electricity ran through your body as Hyunjin leaned in even closer, his breath mingling with yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and then-
"Come to the lake with me tomorrow afternoon." his lips almost brushed against yours before he leaned away, leaving you frustrated.
"What?" you were lost momentarily.
"The lake. Let's meet there." he said and straightened up.
"Sure." you said and he smirked devilishly.
Just what was he planning now?
"Well, I gotta go home make sure Rina has her dinner and walk. See you tomorrow, doll."
With that, he left your room, his scent lingering all around you, making you want to roll in it and have him close. You couldn't wait for tomorrow.
-
The lake wasn't too far away from your house either, only a 15 minute walk full of chatter and laughter. Your bare arm brushed against Hyunjin's a few times, making you feel like your skin burned whenever it touched his. It almost felt as if everything was going back to normal, like it was before but at the same time you couldn't ignore the things that had changed about Hyunjin.
It was clear; he was no longer a boy, he was a man.
The way he carried himself and the way he spoke was more confident and masculine than that shy awkward Jinnie that tripped over his feet and his words, his cheeks constantly red in your presence. But the way he looked at you full of adoration, that had never changed.
"What made you cut your hair?" you asked as the two of you approached the lake. Hyunjin's hand instanly ran over his head as he laughed.
"It's kinda hard to work with all that hair flying everywhere. It was a nuisance, really. And... You seemed to like it a lot, you always played with it, braided it... But when you left, I figured there was no point in keeping it so I shaved it off."
"Oh." you sighed.
"You don't like it?" he asked cutely, the two of you stopping near the lake.
"No, no, I do. It looks very manly." you said, your cheeks burning up. You didn't say how you thought it accentuated all his beautiful, sharp features, his jawline and his neck that was so enticing to you.
"It does, hm?" he smirked, leaning in closer.
"Yeah." you leaned back a little, your stomach doing flips.
Hyunjin snickered and leaned away with a smirk.
"I have a dare for you." he said and you raised your eyebrow at him.
Hyunjin looked around before smirking at you again, getting into your personal space.
"I dare you to swim naked with me." he said and you almost stopped functioning.
"What? Are you crazy?" you punched his arm but it was more just a tap to him as he didn't even budge, chuckling at you as he crossed his arms over his chest. God, his arms.
"It's not like I haven't seen it all anyways." he said and you gasped.
"Oh my god." you looked away from him, your heart beating hard. "Okay, but only if we leave our underwear on."
"Alright, deal." he smirked and took his shirt off, tossing it aside.
You shrieked, turning away from him because you weren't sure if your heart could take it. Hyunjin laughed, getting rid of his pants without a care in the world.
"Don't get shy, you saw it all." he said and you took a deep breath in before looking back at him.
It's all yours, Hyunjin thought but bit his tongue.
Your eyes went wide and your lips parted in a gasp. Hyunjin was always lean and athletic, but now he was even more chiseled, his thighs were more muscular too, all the little tattoos he had hidden were now visible to you. And the worse thing was that you could see the bulge in his boxers so you averted your eyes, feeling like you might've stopped breathing for a second or two.
"Your turn." he nodded at you with a knowing smirk and you scrambled to take off your dress, feeling embarrassed for some reason. You didn't wear any flashy underwear, just regular black panties and a matching bra that only had a few lacy flowers at the top. It was enough to make Hyunjin drool.
"Beautiful." he muttered quietly, it was your body that he knew very well, the one he mapped out with caresses and kisses, your skin that he marked with his teeth, you who he held in his arms countless times.
"What did you say?" you didn't hear him, shivering a little despite the sun still being up.
"Nothing." he smiled. "Let's get in the water."
You nodded and followed him as he got into the water first, hissing at the coldness before he reached his hands towards you to help you get in.
"Is it very cold?" you asked and he chuckled.
"We swam here multiple times, you know how cold the water is. Just get in, we'll warm up." he encouraged you.
"Fine." you rolled your eyes in fake annoyance as you grabbed onto his hands, warmth filling you up from the simple touch, even though the water was almost freezing cold.
"Motherfucker!" you hissed when it touched your stomach and Hyunjin laughed, dipping in and splashing you a little.
"Don't." you warned but it was to no avail, Hyunjin had that familiar mischievous look on his face, eyes sparkly and dimples showing as he lifted his hands and splashed you harder.
"Hyune!" you shrieked and returned the favor, splashing him back.
"Ah!" he screamed out, followed by a series of giggles as he shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. "I'll get you for that." he added, swimming towards you.
Another squeal left your lips as you dipped in and started swimming away, Hyunjin's laughter ringing behind you. How you missed the sound of that. Just as you thought you got away from him, you felt his hands grabbing at your waist as he pulled you closer to him, the water splashing loudly as you flailed your arms and screamed, giggling. His strong arms wrapped around your middle and he pulled you flush against his body, skin against skin and you melted, grabbing onto his hands and resting your palms over them.
"I missed you like crazy." his lips brushed against the side of your neck. "You have no idea just how much." they pressed gently into your skin.
"I missed you too." your voice came out breathy as Hyunjin kissed the droplets of water rolling down your neck.
"Yeah? Show me how much." he turned you around so quickly that you gasped and grabbed onto his shoulders.
You wanted to say something, anything but you were already too far gone so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his around your waist and pulled you into him. It was as if every atom of your being craved to be close to him, starved for years and now finally feeding the hunger and need you had for Hyunjin.
No matter how many time Hyunjin held you, it always made your stomach flip and it was no different now. You felt how hard his heart was beating against his chest and his eyes darkened just a little as he observed you. Your hand touched the back of his head, fingertips pressing against the soft, fuzzy buzzcut. His eyes fluttered and he leaned in, the tip of his nose brushing yours gently before his lips touched yours.
Everything came back. The first time you saw Hyunjin shyly smiling at you when you were five, the times you did your homework together after class only to end up playing instead of learning, the times you walked through the entire village, like it was all yours, the park, the lake, the street, the tree. The first kiss you shared that was timid and awkward but still sweet because it was with him, the times he held you close, loving you, deep inside you and wrapped around you, all the time he was there for you, holding your hand, wiping your tears away, making plans of the future he wanted to share with you. It was your Jinnie.
The only man you ever loved.
"Bunny, what's wrong?" you didn't even realize you were crying and Hyunjin cupped your face gently with his cold hands.
"I love you." you said, lifting the last of the weight. Hyunjin's body trembled against you.
"I love you." he whispered on your lips, kissing you harder as you pressed as close as you could to each other.
"You really don't resent me for leaving?" you asked when you parted for air.
"No, bunny, I know you just wanted to finish your studies, try your hand at a career like that. I mean, you could've done all that with me by your side even if it was a long distance relationship. You know I would support you. But, I get it. You thought you'd never come back here and that I would never leave."
"Hyunjin, I'm sorry." you cried again. "I don't deserve you."
"Shh, yes you do. Yes you do, bunny. You know me better than anyone, you were there for me always whenever I was going through a hard time."
"I wasn't there for the last six years."
"You're here now." Hyunjin kissed you again in an attempt to soothe you and distract you and it was working as you melted against his lips, soon forgetting about everything that was bothering you as the world disappeared like it always did with him.
Hyunjin's tongue collided with yours, the familiar taste of him waking up all of your senses as he gripped you harder and kissed you like his entire life depended on it.
"Bunny." he smiled, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Jinnie." you whispered and he pecked your lips once more before swimming backwards with a smirk.
"Catch me!" Hyunjin teased, swimming faster and you let out a noise of protest, knowing you weren't gonna be able to. "Catch me or you lose your dress!"
"What?!" you shrieked as he laughed, swimming towards the shore and quickly grabbing onto the stones.
"Hyunjin, don't you dare!" you yelled when he got out of the water, almost slipping as he laughed and ran to grab all your clothes.
You swam quicker, almost getting to the shore as he snickered and bolted away with your dress and his clothes.
"Hyunjin!" you yelled, struggling to get out of the water as the sound of his laughter drifted further away.
"Bastard." you muttered when you managed to climb out of the water, shivering as the sun was about to go down. There was no way he left you here without anything, especially when the sky was darkening quickly.
"Hyunjin, this isn't funny!" you yelled, taking a few steps forward, realizing he even grabbed your sandals. You cursed under your breath, looking around when suddenly-
"Boo!" Hyunjin sneaked behind you, scaring you out of your wits.
"You bastard!" you whined and he just laughed, reaching your dress towards you. And he was already dressed, the tease.
You were about to snatch it when he lifted his arm, holding it out of your reach. Maybe some things haven't changed like the way Hyunjin would always test your patience, claiming you were so adorable when you were annoyed.
"Ugh!" you jumped up to grab it but he moved it, giggling as he looked down at you.
"Hyunjin, give me my dress." you slapped his chest as he kept laughing and moving the dress away.
"I think you look prettier like this." he looked down at your chest and you gasped, covering yourself up.
"I'm cold, Hyunjin." you said and he shook his head.
"Here." he put the dress in front of your face and you eyed him for a moment before finally grabbing it and putting it on. He gave you your shoes and you put them on quickly as the sun almost set. Your bodies were still wet and putting the clothes over them made it worse.
"I'm really cold." you said and Hyunjin pulled you into his side as he led you back towards your house.
"You should come see how I repaired and decorated the place. Meet Rina too." Hyunjin smiled, rubbing your arm in an attempt to warm you up at least a little.
"Some other day, what I need right now is a warm bath." you sighed.
"I have a bath." Hyunjin smirked.
"I'm sure you do." you lifted one eyebrow at him as he kept chuckling.
As you made your way to your house, you felt so giddy, almost as if no distance ever existed between Hyunjin and you.
"I'll see you tomorrow at the anniversary dinner." you smiled as you arrived in front of the gate.
"Mhm." he smirked, holding your hands and staring into your eyes. You stood on your tippy-toes, pouting at him and he chuckled, leaning down as he grabbed your face gently and kissed you slowly like he was savoring the moment. Your arms wrapped around his waist and you pulled him in, your bodies heating up against one another.
"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered, pecking him again.
"Night, bunny. Dream about me." Hyunjin smirked, kissing the corner of your lips.
There was no way you were even sleeping tonight.
-
"Good morning!" you practically glided into the kitchen, seeing both your grandparents there.
"Look at you, I'm guessing it went well with Hyunjin, huh?" nana smiled.
"Oh, it did." you said and your grandparents just exchanged knowing looks but decides not to pry. You were walking on cloud 9 all day and you couldn't wait to see Hyunjin again.
You took extra time to do your hair and makeup and wear a nice black dress with heels for tonight, hoping to make Hyunjin's knees buckle just as he made you feel weak. Half of the village was invited to the anniversary dinner and you were so estatic to see all the people you haven't seen for years again and catch up with them. You were pulled left and right, everyone was equally as excited to talk to you, your old neighbors and friends were glad to have you back. Hyunjin arrived a little later and your heart almost leaped out of your chest when he walked in.
"Hey there, little bunny." he smirked, leaning in closer to you as his lips brushed against your cheek.
"Hey, Jinnie." you let out a giggle as your body heated up from the simplest touch.
"You look stunning." he gently grabbed your hand and gave you the elevator eyes.
"You look handsome." you returned the compliment and he squeezed your hand.
"Yeah?" he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully, pushing him away a little.
The dinner went smoothly, everyone was talking and having fun, the food was delicious as always which is something you missed in the city, and after the biggest toast to your grandparents' love and devotion, came more toasts and the glasses were never empty. You were a lightweight so you didn't drink too much, two and a half glasses were enough for you to feel the pleasant warm buzz inside your body. Hyunjin on the other hand, kept drinking with Chan and some of his other friends, his laughter echoing in the room and his face completely red. How much did he have?, you wondered since you knew he could drink a lot more than you before becoming like this.
After dinner, some of the neighbors left home, leaving only a few of you sitting together in the patio out back. Hyunjin slid next to you on the swinging bench with a dumb smile on his face, his dimples visible and his eyes almost disappearing.
"Hey there pretty girl." he giggled, leaning his cheek on your shoulder and pulling you close to him quickly, startling you a little from the suddenness of the movement.
"Jinnie, you're drunk." you let out a laugh as he whined and nuzzled his face into your neck.
"Drunk or not, you're always pretty to me." he smiled against your skin, pressing his lips into your neck and kissing you gently.
"My grandparents are there at the table." you chuckled, trying to pry him off of you as your cheeks burned.
"Did you tell them you're staying here with me forever?" Hyunjin leaned back a little and looked up at you with a cute, hopeful expression on his face. Your heart skipped a beat as you wrapped your arms around him and he leaned against your chest.
"I'll tell them soon." you whispered and he rubbed his cheek against you.
"Mm." he sighed, closing his eyes and getting even closer to you, draping his leg over you and trapping you there with him.
"Hyunjin?" you chuckled after a few moments, caressing the back of his head but there was no answer. "Are you sleeping?" you looked down and sure enough, your Jinnie was fast asleep on you, his face smushed against your breast.
"Poor soul." Lino, one of your high school friends came up to you together with Chan.
"I think he is right where he wants to be." Chan smirked and you really wanted to kick his shin but Hyunjin's leg was blocking your movement.
"Please help me take him upstairs, I don't want him to go home like this." you asked and even though they wanted to tease the both of you, they decided to help. Hyunjin blinked confusedly when Chan shook him lightly.
"Hyunjinnie. We have to go inside." he told him.
"Noooo!" Hyunjin wailed dramatically and gripped you tighter.
"You can sleep upstairs in my bed." you said and immediately he lit up.
"I can?" Hyunjin smiled cutely and you nodded.
He started babbling about how happy he was as Lino and Chan lifted him and helped him get upstairs before they bid you good night and left with teasing smirks on their faces. Hyunjin sobered up enough to brush his teeth before he started throwing his clothes off like they were the biggest nuisance in the world. You just finished getting ready for bed, wearing your favorite nightgown when you walked back into your room and saw Hyunjin almost naked, in the process of taking his pants off. He hopped on one leg cursing and looking like a major klutz as he almost fell down while you observed him and giggled.
"Fuck this!" he whined, throwing himself on your bed and letting out an exhale.
"Need some help?" you walked closer to the bed and Hyunjin smirked at you.
"Please." he nodded.
You managed to slide his pants off, putting them aside before Hyunjin wrapped his legs around you and pulled you towards him, making you lose balance and fall on top of him.
"Jinnie!" you gasped and he chuckled, brushing your hair behind your ears.
"Being in this room with you is like you never left." he whispered and before you could even answer, he flipped you over so now your body was caged under his. Your breath got caught in your throat as you blinked up at him. "This bed, where I made you mine for the first time. Brings back so many memories." he added with a smirk, his plush lips on yours instanly. You let out a little sound of protest because you definitely did not want your first time after being back to the village to be when you're both tipsy.
"Wait, wait." you stopped him, your hands planted on his chest and you were trying to ignore how his muscles felt under your palms.
"What's wrong, bunny?" Hyunjin asked, lips ghosting over your jaw.
"I- I don't wanna do it like this, I want us both to be completely present and sober. I think we should go to sleep now." you said and Hyunjin smirked once again, his big hands on your waist, caressing you as he kissed your cheeks.
"Sleep, hm?" he teased, his hands ghosting over your body but not touching you exactly how you wanted him. Goosebumps rose on your skin as your eyes fluttered and you gripped onto his arms. "As you wish, doll." Hyunjin smirked and rolled off of you, getting comfy on your small bed. You forgot just how small it was, whenever he would secretly sleep over you were both cramped up in the bed and it usually ended with you lying on top of his body as he held you.
Hyunjin grabbed your teddy and wrapped his arms around it as he smirked at you sleepily.
"Give Jinnie to me." you demanded and he chuckled.
"No." Hyunjin shook his head. "You come here to us." he beckoned you with his arm and you gulped, hesitating for a moment and just looking at Hyunjin sprawled on your bed in nothing but his boxers. It was truly a sight for sore eyes and you couldn't get over the fact that he has gotten even hotter than he was six years ago. You let out a sigh and laid down in his arms, your head on his chest and your ear pressed against his heart that was beating erratically.
"Good night, Jinnie." you whispered after you managed to relax and melt into him, telling yourself that no matter how much time has passed and what he looked like now, he was still your Hyunjin.
You stirred in your bed, the weight and warmth of Hyunjin's body was gone and for a second you thought last night was just a dream but when you opened your eyes and looked to your right, you saw a small makeshift flower bouquet placed in Jinnie's paw and a note next to it. A smile spread on your face as you rolled over on your tummy and grabbed the note.
'Good morning, beautiful. Come to my house around lunch time.'
There was little hearts drawn at the end and Hyunjin's name scribbled down. You squealed in happiness, hugging Jinnie and pressing your face into the teddy, inhaling Hyunjin's scent that stayed everywhere on your bed and made you feel crazy.
You had an extra pep in your step when you came downstairs, trying to find your grandparents so you could tell them you're planning on staying. After searching around the kitchen and living room, you finally spotted them sitting in the backyard, talking and laughing as they enjoyed a warm cup of coffee. You smiled, observing them for a moment and remembering all the times you thought about Hyunjin and you spending the rest of your life together like them and it made your heart flutter.
"Good morning." you walked over to them and they greeted you with a smile.
"Sit with us, honey." nana said, pouring you a cup of coffee and giving you some cookies.
"Slept well?" she teased you and your face started burning immediately.
"Yes." you chuckled. "Um. I have to tell you both something."
"What is it?" grandpa asked and you took a deep breath in, explaining to them how unhappy you actually were in the city, how hard it was for you and how alone you felt. You told them about the multiple times you wanted to drop everything and come back to the village but something always stopped you from throwing away everything you worked so hard for, and then you explained how you quit your job after having to compete for a higher position but the girl you were competing with was bullying you and slept with your boss, which made her get the promotion you broke your back over just with your work. That was your last straw and you just couldn't stay there anymore.
By the time you finished explaining all of it both you and your nana were crying.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything before and made you think I was just visiting but I had no idea if you'd be willing to let me come back here for good." you sobbed.
"What are you talking about Y/n? Of course you can always come back here, this is your home. And we both missed you so much, right?" nana looked at your grandpa and he nodded in agreement. "That's right, we are so happy to have you here." he added and you felt the last stone lifting from your heart, relief washing over you that now everything has been clarified. You were back home and you were never leaving again.
-
Around lunch time, you were ready and buzzing, finally you were going to Hyunjin's house. As you approached it, Rina ran towards the fence, barking at you which caught Hyunjin's attention and he came out of the house, wearing an apron and a tanktop, making your mind dizzy. You were sure he was doing this on purpose to mess with you cause he knew very well how much power he had over you.
"Easy girl." he cooed at the dog, coming closer to the two of you and petting her black fur as she looked at him and sat, panting happily upon getting caressed. "This is Y/n, she's not dangerous." he stated as you walked into the yard and approached Rina cautiously.
"Well, maybe for my heart but that's a different thing." Hyunjin smirked and your cheeks reddened as you looked away from his mischievous smile. Rina barked at you but her tail was wagging as she approached you and started sniffing you before jumping on you and almost pushing you down.
"Oh my god!" you chuckled, petting the dog as she hopped around you happily, barking and running from you to Hyunjin and then back to you.
"She loves you." Hyunjin smiled as he observed the two of you.
"She's just the sweetest." you said.
"And very protective over me." Hyunjin smirked and you rolled your eyes playfully at him. "Let me show you around." he added and you nodded, Rina following behind the two of you. It was still the same house and garden but you could see how much work Hyunjin put in it. The flower garden was more than beautiful, the rest of the garden was full of different vegetables Hyunjin was growing and he even had his own lemon tree. You could see the entire house has been repainted, the windows changed and even the stable with horses was repaired. "How do you maintain all of this alone?" you wondered as Hyunjin took you through the stables where he had three horses and out towards the chicken coop.
"I work all day." Hyunjin shrugged. "Besides, Chan and Lino help me sometimes. And some of our other neighbors too. I mean I typically wake up around 5am and go to bed around 10pm, sometimes 11." he explained and you admired his work ethic and his persistence.
"That's amazing. You're so hardworking and resilient." you praised him and his cheeks got rosy. You knew how Hyunjin always enjoyed getting compliments, especially when he did something right and especially when they came from you.
"It's definitely hard sometimes and I wish I had someone here with whom I can split the work up with." he gave you a look and it was your turn to become red.
"Thank you for the flowers." you said as you neared the chickens.
"That was the least I could give you. Sorry for getting drunk at your grandparents' anniversary dinner." he chuckled and you shook your head.
"You're fine, don't worry." you waved your hand.
While you were talking, a curious chicken came closer and gave you a startle, making you jump a little and grab onto Hyunjin's arm as you shrieked. Hyunjin burst out into laughter and you frowned at him.
"It's not funny!"
"It so is. That's literally just a chicken, Y/n." Hyunjin kept chuckling.
"A chicken that is out to get me!" you shrieked again as the said chicken kept walking towards you menacingly. "Ah!" you screamed as the chicken sped up towards you and you jumped back, scaring half of the other chickens and making Rina bark. One wrong move and you slipped, falling down into the muddy soil, the pretty white dress you put on now completely ruined. Rina ran to you and barked, wagging her tail as the chicken gave up and went on her merry way like this was her plan the entire time. Hyunjin stared at you in shock before he started laughing so hard that his face became red and he doubled over, gripping his stomach. You really wanted the earth to open up this time and pull you down so far so you never embarrass yourself in front of Hyunjin again.
"Stop laughing at me." you pouted, your eyes welling up with tears as you were planted on your knees and palms.
"I'm sorry, but that was just too funny." Hyunjin came closer to you and you looked up at him, trying to look as mad as you could but the tears in your eyes softened Hyunjin up. "Come here." he cooed at you, grabbing your arms gently and helping you lift up.
"My dress is ruined." you couldn't help the tears that started sliding down your cheeks.
"Don't cry bunny, you can shower here and I'll give you something to wear, hm?" Hyunjin touched your cheek, tenderly wiping your tears away with his thumb. You hiccuped and nodded and he chuckled at your cuteness, grabbing your face and leaning in to peck your lips.
He led you into the house and despite feeling embarrassed and sad that your pretty dress was ruined, you still felt shocked when you walked in. The house that was like your second home here looked completely different than it did while you were growing up here. Your wide eyes wondered everywhere, not only was it repaired and repainted, the furniture was new and rearranged differently and there was art everywhere that you presumed was probably Hyunjin's. Everything was so neat and pretty, his house seemed so warm and cozy, a place you could see yourself spending time in with him.
"What do you think?" Hyunjin chewed on his lip, looking at you cutely with wide sparkly eyes.
"Hyune, it's beautiful! I love what you did with it. Somehow, it seems more spacious and like there's more light coming in." you said and he giggled.
"Yes, I wanted to make use of natural light as much as I could." he led you upstairs to his bathroom. "Here, you can shower and I'll make some lunch for us." he added and you nodded as you kept marvelling at everything he did with the space. Hyunjin found a shirt that was oversized even on him so it would definitely be like a dress for you.
"Here." he gave you the shirt and smirked. "Need help?" he added as he motioned towards the shower.
"I think I can handle it." you giggled and Hyunjin gave you a kiss before leaving to the kitchen. You took in the state of yourself in the mirror, cursing quietly when you saw just how much mud you were covered up in. You slowly peeled off the dress and then your underwear, before stepping into the shower. You managed to wash off the mud pretty quickly, replaying the entire scene in your head and feeling more and more embarrassed the more you thought of it.
After drying off and putting your underwear back on, you grabbed Hyunjin's shirt and your gut stirred at the smell of him. You put it on, the fabric soft against your smooth skin and you melted into it, hugging yourself with a smile on your face. This was not the first time you wore his clothes and you missed the feeling of it, your mind wandering back to the nights you spent in his embrace, stealing his shirt after which would make him even more crazy for you.
You finally went downstairs, feeling a little shy as you pulled the shirt down even though Hyunjin had already seen everything before and even saw you in your underwear at the lake. When you walked into the kitchen, he was whistling to the music playing in the background while stirring at the stove. He looked up at you and his lips parted, eyes darkening instantly. "Bunny..." he let out a breath and walked closer to you. Your heart started pounding in your ears as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his body, his lips on yours instantly. You kissed back, gripping at him before you felt something nudging your leg. The two of you parted and saw Rina, wagging her tail happily and pushing her head into your body.
"She wants attention." you started petting her immediately. "Reminds me of someone." you teased and Hyunjin gasped, dramatically placing his hand on his chest.
"Comparing me to a dog, huh?" he shook his head with a smile as you shrugged. "You look so good in my shirt, doll." Hyunjin bit on his lip and your face burned. You thanked him sheepishly, making him chuckle before he went back to cooking and you joined him, helping him out and feeling so domestic, and like you were right where you belonged.
The lunch was delicious and the mud mishap was soon forgotten as Hyunjin gave you a full tour of the house, ending in his room where he showed you his favorite paintings and sketchbooks that were unsurprisingly full of you. You were flipping through one of them when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his body, his lips on your neck. You gasped, your hands shaking and making you drop the sketchbook on the floor as Hyunjin gently kissed your skin. "Jinnie..." you exhaled when his tongue darted out to lick at you before he sunk his teeth in. You tilted your head, completely melting against him as your entire body started burning up.
"I craved you so much." Hyunjin nipped at your shoulder and you squeezed his hands.
"Me too." you whispered before turning in his arms and grabbing his face as you smashed your lips against his. Nothing mattered but him in that moment, the two of you had a hunger that could only be satiated with each other. Your kiss was harsh and sloppy, your teeth clashing and hands grabbing everywhere but neither of you cared.
You felt the fire inside you burning up and spreading all the way to the tips of your fingers that grazed Hyunjin's skin. You needed him more than ever and being with him here made you realize that you had no idea how you managed to live all these years without him.
"Bunny, I can't... I want to worship you and take my time with you so badly, I want to kiss every inch of your skin and make love to you but I can't... I need to have you right now." he panted hard as he grabbed at your hips, leading you to the bed.
"Take me Hyunjin, please. I need you so much." you gripped his arms and Hyunjin let out a low growl before pushing you down onto the bed. It was as if he had no idea what to do first, staring at you sprawled under him for a moment before he put his hands on your thighs, squeezing the flesh.
Your legs parted, the shirt riding up and revealing the red lace panties you wore. "Damn doll, are you trying to kill me?"
"Maybe." you giggled and Hyunjin smirked at you before spreading your legs more and lowering his middle on top of yours. You gasped a little when you felt his length pressing and rubbing against you. He leaned in closer to your face, his arms caging you in.
"Can you feel what you do to me, bunny?" he moaned, rolling his hips against yours. You knew he wanted to tease you but his mind was far too gone for that. Hyunjin has waited for years for you to come back and to be in his arms, for him to taste you, feel you, kiss you, be inside you.
"Hyune... Please..." you were no better, your entire body was yearning for him, every fiber of your being screamed his name. Hyunjin couldn't wait, he leaned back and took off his shirt so you did the same, revealing that you didn't wear a bra.
"Naughty bunny." Hyunjin smirked, giving you a look and you grabbed his wrists gently, placing his palms on your chest. Hyunjin's eyes fluttered as he squeezed, thumbs swiping on your sensitive nipples. He cursed under his breath as he kept massaging your breasts and rubbing against you. You lifted your hips up to meet his, you needed to feel more of him. Your fingers hooked in his pants and you tugged so he lifted up a little to take them off. Hyunjin leaned down to kiss you, his tongue dominating yours as he slid your panties off, then his boxers before placing his hands on your thighs again and caressing them. His lips traveled down your neck to your collarbone then to your breasts, kissing and nipping at the flesh before he wrapped them against your nipple, sucking harshly as his fingertips pressed on your clit. A loud moan slipped your lips as you gripped his shoulders.
"Hyunjin." you moaned desperately, your body arching into him and he shushed you, his fingers sliding through your wet folds, separating them before he slowly pushed his finger in. It was a welcomed intrusion after not being with anyone for years, you haven't even dated after going to the city, you still felt like you belonged to Hyunjin and you thought about him every day so even the thought of letting someone else touch you was too much for you.
Hyunjin slowly pumped his finger inside you, feeling how wet you were getting before adding another finger, scissoring you open for him. He noticed you seemed deep in thought so he slowed down and leaned in to look at you.
"Is something wrong, doll?" he asked and you snapped out of your thoughts.
"Have you been with anyone since I left?" you asked in a small voice, blinking at him and Hyunjin let out a chuckle.
"No, I waited for you." he whispered, kissing you gently and you clenched around him. "You like that, bunny? Like that I'm only yours?" he bit on your lip and looked at you teasingly as he continued fingering you.
"Yes, yes Hyunjin!" you moaned when he hit that special spot inside you and his eyes darkened.
"What about you, doll? Did you let someone else touch what's only mine, hm?" he asked, fucking you faster.
"N-no. Only you, Hyunjin. I'm only yours." you moaned and he growled lowly again, getting more worked up as he wrapped his hand around his length and pumped it a few times.
"You never stopped being mine, little bunny. And I never stopped being yours." he moaned, pulling his fingers out before licking at them. Your heart was beating hard at the sight and the words that he said. It was true, you were his from the moment you first saw him until the end of time.
"Missed your taste." he moaned before grabbing his cock and pressing it against your clit. "I don't have any condoms." he added and you moaned as he ran his hard tip on your folds.
"T-that was never a problem with us." you bit on your lip and Hyunjin moaned as he started slowly pushing inside you, filling you up perfectly and stretching you out just for him. You whimpered, your legs opening more as you welcomed him inside you, where he belonged. Hyunjin took a moment to gather himself when he bottomed out, his eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed around him.
"God, bunny. I missed this pussy so much." you moaned at the dirty way he spoke, clenching even harder around him. "I won't last long."
You whimpered as he started moving, his muscles contracting with each movement as his arms caged you. You couldn't stop admiring him on top of you; the buzzcut worked so well with the new, more manly look, his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes dark as he bit on his lip, his cheeks flushed and a thin sheen of sweat forming on his skin, the veins portruding. He looked so beautiful like that, all lost in you as he moaned quietly. Your hands came up to touch the back of his neck and his shoulders, so smooth and firm and Hyunjin gripped your hips.
"Fuck, I can't!" he whined loudly before he started snapping his hips into you. Both of you were a moaning, desperate mess, missing each other for so long. Hyunjin's hands had a bruising grip on your hips, your nails dug into his flesh as you wrapped your legs around him and pressed your heels into his ass, making him go deeper. He moaned loudly, fucking you harder, his cock splitting you apart deliciously.
"I'm g-gonna cum!" he whined almost as if he was disappointed in himself for finishing so quickly but you couldn't really blame him because you were on the verge yourself.
"Cum inside me, Jinnie!" you moaned and his eyes went wide for a moment before he gripped you harder.
"Are you sure?" he panted and you nodded quickly, your nails leaving red angry marks on his skin.
"Yes please Hyune, I need to feel you." you moaned and he whimpered, fucking you harder and chasing his high and your legs started trembling around him. He knew you were close by your moans and the way your body reacted, the way your pussy clenched around him so hard like you wanted him inside you forever.
"Let go for me, doll." he encouraged you and you moaned, the coil snapping as you came around him, making him even more wet.
Hyunjin cursed and moaned loudly, his hips stuttering before he exploded, filling you up with his warm cum and riding his high as you held onto him. He plopped down on top of you as both of you tried to catch your breath.
"Y/n. My bunny, my love." Hyunjin smiled, kissing you gently as you held each other.
"Jinnie. I love you so much." you whispered against his lips and felt him twitch inside you.
"I love you more than anything, doll." he said before kissing you again, his tongue slowly massaging yours and making your body burn all over again. His hands were on your breasts, massaging and squeezing, gently pinching and pulling on your nipples as he kept stealing your breath. You felt him slowly becoming harder inside you and you clenched, your pussy sore but welcoming. You touched his back and caressed his head and neck, making him whimper against you. It didn't take long for him to become fully hard again.
"I'm gonna make love to you." he whispered, kissing your lips again then grabbing your hand and kissing it before pinning it down on the bed, next to your head, his other hand on your waist.
"Hyunjin." you moaned out his name as he started to slowly move inside you, the drag of his cock against your walls was driving you crazy. Your eyes fluttered shut and you let yourself melt into the moment, the space filling up with sounds of your bodies and your moans as you both got lost in loving each other. Your lips brushed against his jaw and neck, kissing him and gently licking at his skin, the droplets of sweat that were sliding down his neck. He threw his head back when you sunk your teeth into his skin, marking him as yours. Hyunjin's hips stuttered and he fucked you a little harder and deeper but still slowly.
Your eyes fluttered open and met with his, full of love and lust.
"I wanna be like this with you forever." he moaned and you squeezed him with your legs, your nails digging into his shoulders again.
"Me too, Hyune, I wanna be with you forever." you breathed out.
He sped up a little, his hands roaming all over your body, his sweat dripping down onto your skin, making everything hot and wet.
"Ah!" you whimpered when he hit the spot. "You feel perfect inside me."
Hyunjin groaned at the praise, his hips snapping into yours harder as his fingers found your sensitive clit, moving in circles and trying to bring you to your high. His lips were on your skin again, kissing, licking and nipping before he grabbed your breast with his free hand and wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking hard and making your body tremble against him. The fact that you were even more wet and slippery than before because he had already came inside you drove you insane and you snapped, cumming around him and squeezing him again. Hyunjin's eyes rolled back and all he could do was moan your name as he sped up, your hips and pussy burning at the overstimulation and movement before he released inside you, filling you up again.
"Fuck." this time he pulled out of you, watching as his cum oozed out of your pussy. "Wow." he gasped a little, reaching out to touch your folds and you whimpered.
"Are you- are you on the pill?" Hyunjin asked as he retracted his hand and you started laughing when you realized he hadn't even asked before and that you didn't even think about it.
"No, I wasn't sleeping with anyone so I didn't need them." you said and Hyunjin's face went red.
"It's okay." you beckoned him closer with your hand and he crawled to you instanly, laying on top of you and propping himself up with his elbows as he looked at you softly, caressing your head and playing with your hair. "We talked about having kids..."
Hyunjin let out a chuckle before pecking your lips.
"We did but now that you're back I wanted to enjoy you just a little more. Have you all to myself, my little bunny. And I know it might be cliche but I wanted us to get married first." he said and your heart fluttered.
"You never stopped thinking about that?" you asked, caressing his back.
"I couldn't even if I wanted to. Did you?"
"I always thought that if I hadn't left we would've already been married and had at least one baby." you confessed and Hyunjin's body trembled as he pressed himself harder against you.
"There's nothing more I want than to have everything with you, my love." he said, kissing you gently and lovingly.
"Me too." you gasped for air between kisses.
"Are you ready for round three then?" he smirked and you felt his length twitching against your thigh.
"Oh wow." you laughed and Hyunjin chuckled.
"What can I say, I missed you." he kissed your jaw again. "I just wanna be inside you."
"Please Hyunjin." you whimpered, feeling aroused for him easily.
"Don't worry bunny, I got you. All mine tonight." he moaned, pushing into your sore pussy but it felt so good to you. "Gotta make sure it sticks." Hyunjin added with a smirk and you gasped, your eyes rolling back as he filled you up.
You spent almost the entire night in each other's embrace, making love or just cuddling and talking, but both of you felt so insatiable that you just couldn't stop until early morning hours.
"This is about the time I usually wake up." Hyunjin said as he blinked sleepily, rubbing his cheek against your breast as you held him in your arms. You looked out at the dark sky, giggling a little.
"We should get some sleep." you said and Hyunjin whined, squeezing your other breast with his hand.
"I can't... I need to feed the horses... And take Rina out for a walk and..." his voice got more and more quiet before you realized he was fast asleep. A smile spread on your lips as you relaxed and let yourself fall asleep too.
You woke up a few hours later, the sun blazing through the curtains and you groaned, covering your face. Your entire body was sore, last night you had used some muscles that were dormant for years, but the most sore place was between your legs. When you remembered everything you did with Hyunjin last night and how many times he had moaned into your ear about fucking a baby into you, your mind went hazy and you felt that wave of hotness rise inside you.
You noticed you were alone in the bed, tangled in his sheets and the smell of him and you rolled over to his side after noticing another little bouquet of flowers. You smiled to yourself and willed yourself to get up and take a shower even though your legs were in pain too.
By the time you came down, Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen but you found some coffee and toast, deciding to make yourself some breakfast. You sat at the counter and ate while listening to some music. Hyunjin suddenly walked in from the back door.
"Oh bunny! Good morning." he smirked as he came closer to you and you could see the sweat on his body glistening, making you feel aroused instantly at the sight and smell of him.
"Morning." your voice came out breathy as he wrapped his arm around you and kissed you.
"I was just working out back in the shed." he started and Rina ran in barking and jumping at you happily. You chuckled and cooed at her as you started petting her head. "She helped out." Hyunjin added and you giggled.
"I'm sure she did."
"Would you like to go horse riding with me today?" he asked and you let out a laugh.
"I mean, I'd love to but you tired me out last night." you said sheepishly and he cackled, making you smack his arm a few times which made Rina bark.
"Careful, you can't hit me in front of Rina." he had a smug smile on his face and you rolled your eyes, shoving him away playfully. "Come on, we used to go all the time. I missed doing everything with you, doll."
"Fine, but I'm going home first to change and say hello to my grandparents." you pointed your finger at him and he grabbed your wrist, gently kissing your fingertip before he pressed your hand on his chest.
"Come back to me soon, doll."
-
It didn't take long for you to get ready and skip back to Hyunjin's house, especially after missing him for so many years; you felt like you needed to make up for all the lost time. Hyunjin was waiting for you in the stable, preparing the horses for the ride. As soon as you walked in, he smiled at you, waving at you to come closer. Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes, you were dressed and ready for the activity you were going to share with him this afternoon.
"God, you look so cute my bunny." he put his hands behind his back and leaned in to kiss you, making you giggle against his lips.
"You're cute." you poked his cheek and he chuckled.
"I am?" he gave you a cute face, making his dimples visible as he smiled and his eyes disappeared, turning into little slits. For emphasis he put his palms around his face as if he was presenting his cuteness to you and you could not believe that this was the same man who had you shaking under him last night.
"The cutest." you giggled and he seemed satisfied with the answer, giving you another sweet kiss.
"So, this beauty over here is Aurora." Hyunjin took your hand in his and walked closer to the horse. It let out a snorting sound, making you jolt a little and Hyunjin chuckled.
"Don't tell me you forgot how to ride." he smirked at you with a pointed look and you smacked his arm as he giggled, knowing you would react like that. Your cheeks went red despite last night and despite everything else you shared with him.
"You better be quiet." you threatened him and he wiggled his eyebrows at you.
"You weren't saying that last night."
"Hyunjin. Please. The horses don't need to listen to this." you whispered the last sentence, giving Aurora a few gentle pets.
Hyunjin laughed before nodding. "Alright, well she is yours for today. And I'm taking Midnight." he pointed to a black horse and you nodded, feeling excited because you missed things like this in the city, spending time in nature even though insects frightened you.
The two of you made your way out with your horses, Hyunjin helping you get up on Aurora and then patting your butt affectionately as you sat down. Your cheeks became rosy as he smirked at you and climbed up on Midnight. He looked so hot in that moment that you were already getting worked up despite still being sore.
You made your way towards the fields, the sun shining on you as you rode your horses and enjoyed the fresh air and the breeze. Everything that was bothering you before you came here was left in the dust your horses lifted as they ran, the past was put behind you and you could clearly see the path ahead.
The two of you made it to one of the pretty fields, letting the horses rest as you tied them aside and Hyunjin brought a blanket for the two of you to sit on. Quietly, you enjoyed the beautiful day together as you closed your eyes and let the sun's warmth kiss you while Hyunjin kept his eyes fixed on you.
"I forgot just how peaceful it is here." you sighed before looking at Hyunjin.
"But you spent most of your life here, more than in the city. You know this place like the back of your hand." his head tilted and you shrugged.
"Maybe it didn't take long for me to get used to the city."
"Then it won't be long for you to get used to being back here." he said and bit on his lip. "Come here bunny." he tapped his thigh and you chuckled, your face becoming red. "Come sit in my lap, I need you close to me." Hyunjin added and you shook your head lightly before coming closer to him and sitting in his lap. Your arms wrapped around his neck and his around your waist as he leaned in and kissed you sweetly, before gently swiping his tongue on your lower lip. You parted your lips and he kissed you sensually, like he was trying to explore every part of you and remember your taste forever.
Hyunjin leaned back suddenly and gave you a serious look as he held your hips.
"Y/n, you really are the most important person in my life. You are my best friend and my only lover. And I want you to stay here with me forever and for us to build a life together but only if you want that. I don't want you to feel like I forced you to be here in the village and made you throw away your uni degree and the career you worked so hard for. I need to know that you are absolutely sure you want this, cause I don't want you to resent me one day." Hyunjin exhaled shakily and you smiled, grabbing his face and smushing his cute cheeks.
"You're the most important person in my life too. And even without knowing you still loved me and wanted to be with me I came back here with the plan to stay. There is nothing for me there, that career was a disappointment, almost a waste of time that I could've been spending here with you. Besides, I am still young and there is time to change careers. This is my decision to stay here and if I have you too, then that's just added happiness. I would never resent you Hyunjin, because I want to build a life with you too, I want us to grow old together like my grandparents. I always imagined us like that."
"Oh bunny, you have no idea how happy that makes me." Hyunjin gave you the sweetest smile before crashing his lips against yours. The kiss was passionate and full of love, all bursting around the two of you. He kissed your neck before flipping you over and you gasped under him.
"Beloved, it's the middle of the day, other people come here. A-and the horses are right there." you nodded towards the animals who seemed interested only in the grass.
"Doll, let me just have a taste of you, please?" Hyunjin rubbed your hips, giving you the cutest pout and puppy eyes and you were weak for him. It never took too long for you to lose your panties around him which was what happened as soon as you said yes. He took off your pants and underwear, immediately diving in between your legs as he held them open, gripping at your thighs.
"My sweet bunny." Hyunjin kissed and nipped on your thighs, leaving bite marks in his wake all the way up to your core.
"Mm." he moaned the moment his plump lips touched your folds. "Baby." he whined and flatened his tongue against you, giving you a few languid licks, enjoying the taste of you before the tip of his tongue started flicking your clit. You whimpered quietly as your legs trembled, still aware that you were outside and anyone could see you.
Hyunjin however, didn't care. He was moaning into your pussy desperately as soon as he pushed his tongue in, eating you out like you were the sweetest treat ever. His nose brushed against your clit perfectly as he moved and you were still so sensitive from last night so it didn't take long for you to release your essence all over his lips and tongue as you gripped onto the blanket.
"Bunny, you taste so sweet." he whined, licking around his lips. You looked around, chuckling and quickly pulling your pants up, cringing a little at the wetness.
"Let me make you feel good too, Jinnie." you were now closer to him, your hands on his thighs.
"You don't have to do it right now, we can go back to my house and-"
"Hyune... You can't ride back with this." you smirked, cupping his bulge through his pants and he whined instanly, lifting up into your hand and grinding against it.
"Yeah, you're right." Hyunjin moaned as you kissed his jaw and neck while working to unbutton his pants and slide them down with his boxers, at least enough to pull his cock out. You moaned at the sight of him and you were so eager to have him in your mouth again after not tasting him for so long. You leaned down, gathering spit before you spit on his cock and made him gasp, lifting his hips up to you again. You gave him a few pumps as you smirked at him and Hyunjin was already falling apart. He was equally as weak for you as you were for him.
You swirled your tongue around his head, dipping it into his slit and he shook against you, his hips lifting up and his hand tangling in your hair.
"More, please more bunny." he begged desperately and you moaned around him as you slid down, taking more of his length in.
"Just like that baby, keep going." he encouraged you as you tried to relax your throat and breathe through your nose. Hyunjin whimpered when you gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head up and down. He gripped your hair, his moans becoming high pitched so you looked up and almost came in your panties at the sight. He was completely lost in the pleasure you were giving him, his head thrown back, his neck on full display with his Adam's apple bobbing up and down every time he gulped and his veins visible. Your eyes fluttered as you moaned around him and fondled his balls with your other hand, making his hips jerk up into you which made you gag a little.
"Fuck. Taking me so well, bunny." he growled, fucking up into you slowly as he gripped your hair harder. "G-gonna cum."
"Mm." you moaned, massaging his balls and sucking him like your life depended on it as he kept fucking up into you.
"Ah! Love seeing those pretty lips around me!" Hyunjin whined loudly, snapping his hips a little harder against you before you felt him twitch and release inside you. You swallowed every last drop he gave you, overstimulating him until he was almost pushing you away.
"Fuck, bunny. You're gonna be the death of me." he said as you lifted up and wiped your lips.
"That good, hm?" you teased him with a smirk and he smirked back at you as he got dressed.
"Well, you seem to love my cum so I'm just giving you what you love, you know, thinking of your happiness." he teased and you smacked his arm, making him laugh because he loved provoking you.
"Shut up." you muttered in embarrassment and he giggled before pouting at you and coming closer to you. He gently took your chin in his hand and made you look at him.
"I love you." he said.
"I love you too." you smiled and kissed him, tasting your essence on his tongue.
"Wanna ride a little more then go back to my house?" he asked and you nodded eagerly.
"I'd love to."
-
Currently, you were sitting in Hyunjin's very big bath, waiting for him to join you as you soaped up your arms with the bubbles, playing around with them.
"Here I am!" he ran in, quickly closing the door behind him. "Had to feed Rina plus she felt neglected and deprived of my love." he added, stripping his clothes and throwing them in the hamper haphazardly.
"You trying to make me feel guilty?" you asked, blowing a bubble at him and he giggled.
"No doll, you know you're always my number one." he smirked, throwing his underwear aside and you looked away in embarrassment.
He chuckled at you and got in, sitting between your legs and you squealed as he made the water splash around you.
"Will you help me wash my back?" he looked at you sideways with a little pout and you chuckled.
"Of course, beloved." you smiled as you took a clean cloth and made it wet before you started gently washing his back. Hyunjin closed his eyes and let out a long sigh of relaxation. You enjoyed the quiet moment, gently rubbing his skin before gliding over it with your other hand, loving the feeling of his wet and soft skin against yours. You leaned in and kissed his shoulders, your breasts pressing against him and nipples grazing him. Hyunjin let out a shaky breath as you wrapped your arms around him and kept kissing his upper back and the back of his neck, catching the droplets of water with your lips.
"I'm so happy." he said and you smiled against him as he caressed your hands. "I was lonely without you, my bunny. I drowned that in work but in moments like this, when it's quiet, and especially late at night I imagined you next to me, wished you were here. And now you are."
"I'm sorry, Jinnie. I'll never leave you again." you said, brushing your lips against his neck.
"I know." he shivered and then leaned back into you as you held him and caressed his chest and stomach, your hand coming in contact with his cock that was hard again.
"Jinnie." you giggled in delight.
"I can't help it when you're touching me." he whined and you kept giggling as you wrapped your hand around him and gave him a few teasing tugs before you released him completely, making him groan.
"Love, you promised we'd go stargazing tonight." you teased.
"The stars will be there tomorrow." he smirked, turning around in the bath and making the water splash around again.
"So will we." you chuckled, running your finger on his defined jaw.
"Mm." he smirked, eyes already hooded as he leaned in and captured your lips in his. You gave in instantly, craving him as much as he craved you.
"I want to go stargazing." you said when the two of you parted for air and Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head.
"Whatever my bunny wants. Give me a few moments to try and calm down, hm?" he said, kissing your jaw before he got up, getting out of the bath and making his way to the shower. "Join me." he reached his hand towards you and you grabbed it, getting out of the bath with his help.
The moment you shared in the shower was sweet and gentle as you helped each other wash off, playing around with the water.
"So, you like how I did the house?" Hyunjin asked as you dried off.
"I love it so much. It's artsy but cozy and warm. It still has that vintage vibe, you just made it better." you told him and he blushed, smiling cutely at you.
"I decorated it with the thought of you." he confessed, suddenly looking shy and reminding you of that little boy that almost hid behind his mother the first time he laid eyes on you.
"Hyunjin." your eyes watered instantly and you started crying.
"Bunny, don't cry." Hyunjin wrapped his arms around you, shushing you and pulling you into his chest as he caressed your head.
"I'm sorry." you whimpered and he chuckled at your cute pouty face as he looked down at you.
"Move in with me. There's no need to wait." he kissed your head and you squeezed him tighter.
"Packing tomorrow." you looked up at him with a smile and he chuckled, leaning down to kiss you as he wiped your tears away.
-
It was a beautiful, clear and quiet night, just what you needed for one of your favorite activities. Stargazing was a little ritual you did together even before you started dating, when you were just friends. You'd lay near your tree and look up at the stars wondering what's in store for you and Hyunjin, and he'd be nervously gathering courage to confess to you and kiss you only to back out every time you smiled at him.
After becoming a couple, you'd spend warm evenings loving each other under the blanket of stars, hidden by the grass and flowers around you. You'd look up at the stars then and thank them.
Hyunjin brought a blanket this time like always and you laid next to each other, your bare arms touching.
"Jinnie, can I ask you something?" you turned to look at him.
"Anything." he met your eyes.
"I noticed this when I got here the first day but why did you carve only your name in the tree, under ours?"
His eyes softened before he sat up and looked at the tree.
"For when you come back, so you can add your name and we can make a new start together." he smiled and your eyes watered.
"Jinnie." you whined, sitting up and resting your forehead on his shoulder. "You're too sweet."
"Here." he gave you his pocket knife and motioned at the tree. "You can add your name now."
Hyunjin helped you out and the two of you admired your work, a new carving of your names signifying a new phase of your relationship, where both of you have grown and matured. You turned towars him, grabbing his face and smashing your lips into his as you kissed him passionately. Hyunjin returned the kiss enthusiastically, pulling you in his lap. Your hips started grinding against him instantly and he smirked into the kiss.
"Is my bunny needy for me?" Hyunjin leaned back to look at you, caressing your face and putting your hair behind your ear.
"Mm, always." you moaned quietly as his other hand grabbed at your ass, squeezing and giving you a light smack.
Hyunjin chuckled at the state of you, already unraveling and he hasn't even done anything. You bit on your lip and gripped his shoulders as you started dragging your core against his. Hyunjin's head fell back as he gripped your hips and helped you move against him, pressing you down and making you feel his growing bulge.
"What you do to me, doll." he almost growled, gripping you harder and moving his hips up into yours.
"Hyunjin." you moaned his name, your hands sliding down his chest to his abs and then to the button on his jeans as you worked to open it. He smirked into the kiss again, letting you struggle for a moment before he leaned away from your lips and helped you take off his pants. His hands slid under your dress, up until he touched your panties.
"So wet, my bunny." he looked at you lustfully, his lips parting as he touched you clit and played with it, sliding his fingers down to your folds and feeling the wetness even through the fabric.
"I need you." you whined and he chuckled.
"I need you too, bunny." he whispered and you stood up to slide your panties off as Hyunjin watched you with hazy eyes. He slid his pants and underwear down, pulling you down into his lap again. Your wet pussy pressed against his hard cock and both of you moaned as you grinded on him, getting him wet with your juices.
"Ah, doll!" Hyunjin whined, pushing his hips up into you and you lifted just a little to grab his cock and push it inside you. He groaned as you sat down on him slowly, feeling every inch of him stretching your still sore pussy.
"You okay, bunny?" Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your waist as you let out a hiss.
"Y-yes, perfect." you whimpered, gripping at his shoulders as you started circling your hips on top of him. "Oh my god." you groaned, feeling his tip brushing against something delicious deep inside you.
"Good, baby?" Hyunjin smirked, holding your hips but you knew he was close to losing control.
"Mm yes." you shut your eyes tightly as you started to bounce on him slowly and Hyunjin let out a loud moan.
"Ah, bunny! You feel so good. So perfect for me. I wanna stay inside you forever."
You clenched hard at his words, fucking on his length faster, your hips slapping against his. Hyunjin's hand gripped your dress and pushed it up before he grabbed your ass, giving it a few smacks and making you whimper and squeeze around his cock again.
"Please, Hyune, I need more, please!" you whimpered, fucking on him as hard as you could even though your thighs started burning. Hyunjin looked at you, your flushed face and your tits bouncing with your movement, his cock disappearing completely inside you. You were driving him insane.
"You want some help bunny?" he asked, gripping your hips.
"Yes, please!" you whined and Hyunjin smirked before he started snapping his hips up into you.
Both of you were a desperate mess of moans and curses, fucking into each other as if you hadn't been together all night yesterday.
"Gonna get you pregnant, my bunny. Want you to be mine forever." Hyunjin growled as you fell apart on top of him, exploding all over his cock.
"Please, Hyune, want to have your baby." you mumbled, your entire body shaking on top of him and Hyunjin growled, his eyes rolling back as he came, ropes of warm cum filling you up, your pussy milking him dry.
You held each other for a moment, trying to gather your senses as you breathed hard. Hyunjin leaned back and gave you a cute smile.
"I mean it, you know. I really want a little one running around our house. A baby that we made out of love." Hyunjin said, holding your face in his palms.
"Me too, I want it so much." your voice was shaky as you leaned in and kissed him, not missing the detail where he called his house yours.
"After last night and today it would be a surprise if you weren't already pregnant." he smiled, brushing his lips against yours.
You chuckled as your face burned. "I hope so."
Hyunjin smiled, kissing you until you became breathless. The two of you cleaned up and got dressed, lying down in each other's arms so you could actually do what you came to do here - watch the stars.
Once again, you thanked them for leading you back to your Hyunjin.
Six months later
You were drinking your morning tea, staring out the window as your free hand landed on your tummy and you let out a sigh of happiness. Hyunjin came from upstairs, all fresh from a shower and noticed you smiling to yourself, the sun illuminating your features.
"How are my girls?" Hyunjin asked as he wrapped his arms around you, his hands on your baby bump, caressing you gently as he kissed you neck and inhaled your sweet scent.
"Good actually. The tea is helping with nausea." you turned your head a little to look at his face and his eyes were filled with so much love and happiness that it made you shiver, your heart fluttering.
"What?" you chuckled as he kept looking at you with a big smile on his face.
"Have I told you how breathtaking you are, my doll?" he exhaled, nuzzling into you.
"Only every day." you giggled.
"And I will continue doing so for the rest of my life." Hyunjin kissed your cheek and you turned in his arms to give him a proper kiss, enjoying the feeling of his plump lips against yours. Your hands flew to his hair that was now black and growing out and you ran your fingers through the soft tufts.
"I have something for you." he said when the two of you broke apart.
"What is it?" you tilted your head and Hyunjin rounded the couch where Rina was cuddled up, making her raise her head and look at him. He stood in front of the stereo and pressed a few buttons before the familiar melody of Photograph started playing.
"Hyun..." your eyes watered and he skipped towards you, reaching his hand to you. You grabbed it and he pulled you into him, dancing with you, softly swaying you side to side.
"This has always been our song. The one we danced to at prom too. And now we can have our first dance at our wedding to this song as well."
"H-Hyunjin." your lips trembled as happy tears spilled from your eyes.
"I wanted to wait for a perfect moment, have this elaborate dinner and speech but I think this is the perfect moment. You and me in our house with our baby on the way and Rina with us. So I have something to ask you, bunny." Hyunjin got on one knee in front of you, taking out a little box from the pocket of his sweats and opening it up to reveal a beatiful ring.
You gasped, your heart beating fast as more tears spilled from your eyes. You knew he was going to propose to you but nothing prepared you for the tornado of feelings that were swirling inside you.
"Y/n, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"
"Yes!" you yelled almost before he ended the sentence and he chuckled happily, sliding the ring on your finger.
"I love you so much, Jinnie." you cried as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you.
"I love you more than anything, my little bunny." he kissed you, the tears of happiness sliding down his cheeks too.
"I promised you forever, didn't I?"
And there was no other way you wanted to spend forever than to be by Hyunjin's side.
hey my loves! thank you all for the amazing support on the art of hatred so far. it’s been such an amazing experience to have people see and enjoy my work after loving writing for such a long time.
i mentioned previously that i’ve been pretty sick with the flu and that’s why i’m writing this. unfortunately i won’t be able to get part 2 out today like I had hoped due to some very, very disappointing and frustrating results at the doctors.
as soon as i get caught up on all of my work from uni the second part will be up. i am genuinely so sorry for those who were looking forward to it today. it is incredibly rare that i get sick like this and it has completely and utterly knocked me flat on my back.
i love you all so much and thank you again for the support <33
AGH okay, so i’ve had a fic idea for mr sungie since i started getting into stray kids back in november. it’s university! han and basically the two of you (x reader) are complete strangers and have been placed together for a project.
basically, he’s a douche frat boy (projecting so sorry) and priorities!!! he’s more focused on his brothers and pulling girls that he completely blows off the project. reader knows his type and refuses to even touch his part of the project and instead submits it without his name on it or his portion of the project done. he goes to the prof and bitches ab her and the prof grants an extension to him to complete his part of the project. he goes to reader and complains about how much he has to do and they (in their all gracious manner) decides to help him (much to the annoyance of her best friend). she absolutely despises him but like forced proximity and such hehehe. maybe adding in a bit of smau since ive been absolutely obsessed with it recently???
i’ve been putting off writing it because i’m still an INCREDIBLY small account (which is absolutely fine i am not upset by this in the slightest) i just want to do it justice!!! now that im on break from uni maybe this is my time 😌
while in a psychology class, you are faced with the cardinal sin of upper education; a group project. to make matters worse, your partner is the definition of a "douchebag."
Warnings: first person pov, female reader, uni!stray kids au, han being a general douche, self deprecating speak, hyunjin being hyunjin, reader being slightly egotistical, angst (only if you squint really hard), frat boys, underage drinking, mention of harassment (jokingly), negative speak of greek life, pet names used (jagi, baby, sweet thing)
back to m.list <3
ah! my first (public) fic!! i really hope you all enjoy this because it was genuinely so fun to create. i am so sorry this took so long to come out, i ended up catching the flu over my spring break and this fic kinda took the back burner. i am hoping to get part 2 out on monday!! AHH enjoy!
word count: 3.7k
SC count: 7
The monotony of schooling has never been lost on me. The mindless day and night cycles of spending too much time procrastinating and then stressing about the growing to-do list on my desk which leads to too little sleep only to restart the cycle when the sun rises again. There was very little I could do that would break me out of the downward spiral into my educational burn out that I constantly flung myself into. All of this was true until my psychology 201 class.
The professor, a middle aged man who bragged about his kids accomplishments and dressed like a cartoon character every Monday and Wednesday at 11:30 A.M. strolled into the lecture hall as per usual. He donned a yellow polo and his classic khaki slacks, all fitted together with the same beaten loafers that I swore were, somehow, cemented to his feet. I definitely didn’t mind this class. It was always easy enough to understand, the assignments never felt burdensome even with the massive habit I have for procrastination, and everyone decently kept to themselves, bar someone needing a pencil here and there from the row behind where I sat in my unassigned-assigned seat.
I would consider myself a good student. Always keeping my gpa high, attending extra lectures and seminars when the need arises, turning in work on time, introducing myself to professors and faculty, something my roommate insisted was important for “marketing myself.” Being in my second year at a state university, I didn’t see much need for it, especially in a class that I was simply taking for the prerequisite credit, but I went along with it anyway. It couldn’t hurt being on a first name basis with a professor if I ever needed an extension on homework, right? I had decided on this school, along with my major, while I was still in grade school, deciding that a sensible degree in human resources would get me just far enough in life to support myself while still leaving space for the things I truly wanted to do.
When my mind chose the reasonable and “safe” route, my heart still yearned for the pull of the arts. My vice? Painting. A hobby that had turned into something of a near addiction by the time I reached my last year of highschool, as well as a hobby that had brought me my very best friend, Hwang Hyunjin. A string bean of a man, Hyun had seen my sleeve covered in streaks of an emerald green paint at a university welcome event during our first week of freshman year and nearly exploded in excitement at the prospect of having a friend who shared his love for painting. From that day on it had been constant texts, trips to the dining hall, hours spent in the intramural art studio, drives to the local convenience store for snacks, anything and everything. I was grateful to have met him, no matter how often his and my friends were convinced we were something more than friends, neither of us had ever even considered it. Frankly, to the both of us, it would be like dating my sibling. Unfortunately for me, Hyun was not in this class with me meaning I was bored the majority of the hour and a half lecture, spending time doodling in a sketchbook more than I was paying attention to the words plastered on the powerpoint.
It was only when my professor uttered the words “group project” did I rip my eyes away from the anatomy practice that was scribbled over the canvas paper in front of me. Suddenly, this man had dropped from my highest ranking professor in the category of likeability to the lowest. He had committed the cardinal sin of large lecture classes. I let out a low grumble as he excused the class to open up the sheet of names he had added into the online course, listing the pairs of students working together. Scanning the document for my name I discovered that I was paired with a “Han Jisung,” a name that was as unfamiliar to me as the other 150 other names on the document. With a shrug I copied down his university email and number with the plan to message him to introduce myself and set up a time and place to work on the presentation once I was back in my dorm for the night.
The rest of the class droned on until professor polo-shirt dismissed us, reminding us to connect with our partners “sooner rather than later!” I packed my things back into my bag, slinging the tote in which mostly contained art supplies over my shoulder and started my route to the creative art building on the other side of campus. Headphones over my ears, I drown out the sound of lively chatter throughout campus with whatever podcast was highly recommended to me by my roommate for the week. This is only until I come face to face with my biggest dread when it comes to attending a large university, the fraternities fundraising in the campus square. This degenerate sight physically pained the academic portion of me, seeing my peers dance around shirtless, getting pelted with paper plates of whipped cream all in the name of raising a few dollars. I tuck my head into my chest and pick up the pace to avoid any unwanted attention, which was normally a successful adventure. Until I felt the unmistakable wet, sticky feeling of sweetened cream slide down my arm.
I let out a disgusted gasp, snapping my eyes up towards the table of barely dressed men, all now wearing a look of shock as I stare daggers into every single one of them. After a painfully long moment, one of the members, a short, shaggy haired boy emerges from the gaggle of idiots clutching his stomach as he doubles over in laughter. It is at that moment when I consider throwing away any chance at a sensible life for one of murder and jail time as I feel the slimy, warm whipped cream slide down my arm and onto my tote bag. My attention moves to him as he walks towards me, still laughing as he attempts to get out, possibly the worst apology I have ever heard in my 20 years on this planet.
“So sorry, baby! Little bit of friendly fire there.” The cackling boy finally manages out.
“Yeah, I can see that.” I reply, moving my unscathed hand to the arm to scoop off the remaining sweetness and flick it to the ground before it dries. The boy watches my hand closely, turning back and giving a smirk to his brothers as he takes another step to me, gripping my arm loosely in his hands.
“Allow me…” He spoke, his voice lowering to the most abhorrent fake-sultry tone that makes me imagine all of the poor girls who had fallen for it in the past. He takes the corner of his shirt which was hanging from his belt loop and wipes the area of my arm coated in a sweet sheen, his eyes darting between my eyes and my lips. At this I reel back, ripping my arm from his grasp, my blood now boiling.
“You’ve clearly done enough. Go back to… whatever that is…” I spit out the words with barely contained venom as I turn my back to the crowd of men, all now cackling at the actions of their member. I decide, for once, to leave it there, moving back to continue my walk to the studio as I hear them guffaw at my borderline harassment case in the making. As I move my headphone back over my ear, I hear the same man who had “helped” me yell over the growing laughter.
“Come back whenever you want, sweet thing!”
With a roll of my eyes, I keep walking, waiting for the safe, stale air of the art studio to be around me once again.
“I couldn’t believe the audacity! I mean, if you're going to throw around whipped cream, of all things, at least have a tarp down so people don't have to step in it!” I pace around the easel that Hyunjin is working at as I rant, my hands thrown up in frustration. “And he had the bright idea to yell after me as I clearly wanted nothing to do with his little… party trick!” Hyunjin just hummed in response, a look of amusement on his lips as he placed his paintbrush down and leaned back on his chair, watching me as I walked circles around him.
“Let me get this straight. You caught a stray glob of whipped cream, and that led you to consider murder?” He held back an obvious laugh, knowing it would bring me back to earth from my angry bubble of nerves. “Jagi, it’s only Monday. I don’t think there is enough spite in the world to keep you going at this pace.”
I shoot a playful warning look at him as I pull a stool up to my own unfinished painting, staring at it as a huff leaves my lips unintentionally.
“It's the principal, Hyun. They think they can just do that because they paid for a group of friends as equally stuck up and dickish as they are!”
All Hyunjin can do is laugh as I let out another grumble and turn my attention to the canvas in front of me, picking up my paintbrush to continue the garden scene I have now been attempting to perfect for over three weeks now. I feel every worry and sliver of annoyance slip away as I guide the brush strokes over the canvas, keeping quiet yet thoughtful conversation going with my best friend.
I paint for another hour until I look over to Hyunjin’s easel seeing that he had since abandoned his canvas, yet again, to sit on the floor, his overly loved sketchbook in his lap as he traces shapes over the papers.
“Dining hall?” I question, wiggling my eyebrows at him in a mock suggestive way, sensing his boredom even from a few feet away. He lets out his signature excited squeal, even for the sub-par substance our school calls “food” we unfortunately pay way too much for, as he gathers his things, quickly shoving them aside to stand up. I pack up my own belongings and we walk over to the cafeteria. Our days since becoming friends have always been easy, never doing too much to overwhelm us in addition to our course work. I like the life I have created for myself, even if it is a few hours from what I still consider home.
Our night ends as it always does, sitting on the floor of my dorm, food sprawled across my carpet, his laptop open and playing a Netflix show both of us have sworn we would pay attention to but never do. My dorm became our hangout spot quickly when my roommate met her boyfriend a few weeks into our freshman year, opting to spend most of her nights at his place instead of the room she was supposed to inhabit. I never complained, even though we had been friends long before we became roommates, her incessant cries for me to “find my person” and “live a little” began to sound like nails on a chalkboard. I knew her intentions were good spirited, even if me getting a boyfriend was mostly for her gain so that we could go on her coveted double-dates, however I had told her from the beginning I was at university to get my degree, not a hookup buddy. I let out a sigh as I rolled off of my place on the floor, reaching for my laptop and opening it to the same screen it had been left on since my psychology class ended earlier in the afternoon.
“I still can’t believe my professor is damning me to hell by assigning this random group project. Who even does that?” My complaints are met by a shrug from Hyun as his attention stays on the pint of Ben and Jerry’s in his hands, scooping away at the chocolate ice cream gleefully. I type out a text to the number I wrote down earlier, deciding now was as good of a time as any to get the ball rolling on the project, even if it wasn’t due for another few weeks.
I scoff at the message sent back to me, placing my phone on the ground to set aside the annoyance I felt resurface at the blatant dismissal.
“This project is going to be a nightmare.” I groan, laying back onto the ground, my hands dragging down my cheeks. “Who even assigns group projects in lectures anyway! I don't know any of those idiots! Why does my grade have to depend on them?” I shove my phone closer to Hyunjin, flipping over onto my side to watch him as he reads over the text.
“Oh, ew. Good luck with whatever stick is shoved up your partner’s ass.” He pushes the phone back over to me as I let out another frustrated noise. Great, two annoying men in one day. What could be worse.
Four days have now passed since I had heard from my project partner, and my displeasure for him has only grown. Since the text on Monday, I have already started the work deciding to just get my part started so that when I finally do get a reply I have a better idea of what needs to get done. As I sat in a study room inside of the creative art building I hear my phone chime.
God… This dude was still a prick even after blowing me off when I wanted to meet earlier in the week. I swallow any other choice words I may have for my mystery psychology partner and turn my attention back onto my laptop, finishing the outline for my section of the project I had pretty much assigned myself. The project would be simple enough as long as my partner cooperated, which now seemed like a fleeting wish. Letting out a sigh I continue working, my mind drawing pictures of what this shit show of a project was going to turn out like.
I rounded the corner into the business building at 11:47 the next day, deciding to get there a bit early to ensure there was a study room available. Finally securing one of the rooms in the back of the building and pulling out my laptop and pulling up whatever resources would be needed for the project, shooting my partner a text to inform him of where to meet me. To pass the time I began sketching an idea for another landscape that Hyunjin had told me to attempt.
I watch as the clock hits 12:48, my hands gripping the pencil in my hand so tight, I think it might break. He’s late. What else did I expect? Pulling my phone out once again, I text him again, holding back any rageful curses, just barely. It takes him an exorbitant amount of time to reply, and when he finally does, I only see red.
When he finally shows up, I nearly bolt out of the room. Of course. Of course it's the same, shaggy haired, cretinous, nuisance of a man that I had the displeasure of interacting with in the campus square at the beginning of the week. He now stands before me, reeking of stale, cheap bear, sporting the most egregious hickey on the side of his neck in a backwards cap and a somehow wrinkled hoodie.
“How nice of you to show up.” I finally mutter as he enters the room, slumping over into the chair opposite of me.
“Nice to see you again, baby. I would have been here sooner but the brothers and I threw last night. Ended up drinkin’ a bit too much.” The smirk he is wearing makes my very insides turn inside out, either that or the smell of the cheap perfume that still lingered on him from his night-time escapades.
“That much is obvious.” I scoff, waking up my laptop that had been abandoned in his tardiness. “Lets just figure out who has to do what so you can go back to whatever hangover activities you were attending to.”
Han sucks in a breath through his teeth, moving his hand over his heart in mock hurt. “Hurts me to have you think I get hungover, sweet thing.”
I just roll my eyes at him and push my laptop closer, showing him the outline I had prepared previously explaining to him the parts that I wanted him to complete. After a while of me talking and him trying to use what I can only describe as stereotypical “charm,” on me, he leans back in the chair, lacing his fingers behind his head with a look of confusion written clearly on his face.
“See, baby, I was thinkin’ that you could just… yaknow, do that part for me. Be a team player, yeah?”
“You're being facetious, right..?” I question, jaw half clenched as I get the words out. Taking in the look on his face I can tell he is, in fact, being dead serious about me doing every portion of this project.
“Look, I don't even know what that word means… Do you really want your name tied to mine on a project like this? I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually showed up to anatomy.”
“This is for psychology class, you…” I bite my tongue before I can call him every fowl name in the book. I let out a sharp sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose as I try my best to calculate the next words that are about to come out of my mouth. “I am submitting this project with my name on it whether you do your part or not. But I refuse to do the work of two people. You and the brothers of Alpha Epsilon… whatever, can keep your hands away from a girls tits for two days while you do your part of the project.”
“It’s Sigma Kappa Zeta, and I’m just saying, your grade, and mine by default, would be better if you just did the project.” He corrects me, as if I genuinely care about the name of his stupid paid friend group. I get to a point where if I have to listen to him for another moment I will claw my eyes out right here in the study room. I close my laptop abruptly, causing him to flinch in his chair, his eyes wide and locked on my movements. In one quick motion, I shove my laptop back into my bag, throwing it over my shoulder and standing from my space in the room.
“Do the project or don’t, just know that I am not doing it for you.” The not so well contained anger that laces into all of my words definitely sparked some sort of fear in the brown haired boy as I walked quickly out of the room and back into the main atrium of the business building.
If I am anything, I am a woman of my word. The entire rest of my weekend was spent working on my portion of the project and nothing more. Formulating slides for the presentation, ensuring that my research was concrete, everything was cited in proper notation. I didn’t leave a single point of the rubric untouched. I wanted to give Han the benefit of the doubt, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would have taken my little outburst as a warning and actually done his portion of the work. I shared everything he would have needed in his email, but nothing more. But as the weeks leading up to the due date wore on, I saw no new activity in the shared documents. There was a gnawing feeling of guilt that lingered in the smallest corners of my mind at how I reacted to his mostly mindless request until I reminded myself that he was also a grown man. He didn’t deserve to be babied through college, no matter how dim-witted he came off.
The day of the presentation came quicker than I expected as my workload nearly doubled before my eyes. The last week and a half became a blur of midterm papers, stupid assignments that left me more confused than not, and some of the worst wine hangovers i've ever experienced thanks to Hyunjin’s new fake ID. As I took my seat in the lecture hall, I spotted Han entering through the side door, ego emanating off of him like cartoon stink lines. Just as I had expected, he hadn’t even opened the document that I had sent him so I submitted it to our professor unfinished and only with my name on it, along with a lengthy email drafted in my notes when I inevitably have to submit my peer review.
The rest of the student’s presentations nearly put me to sleep as I mindlessly scribble in my sketchbook, awaiting my turn to completely embarrass Han. And when that fateful moment finally rears its head, it's just as glorious as I had expected. We walk to the front of the hall from our respective seats. Him clad in an unironed button up shirt and slacks, me in my most business casual dress from the very back of my closet. I begin by introducing the topic, giving the prepared background and flipping through my slides with practiced ease. It was clear to my professor that I had put in effort and time, rightfully so. But once Han’s slides appeared on the projector in front of the entire hall, his face paled. I bite back the shit eating grin I know is forming on my lips as I watch him flounder at the sight of the empty slides. Small snickers can be heard from around the classroom, the more astute students whispering to one another about his clear unpreparedness. This beautiful scene carries on for another 30 seconds or so until our professor loudly clears his throat, dismissing us back to our seats.
Once I am out of view from Han, I can't hold back my smile any more, cheeks burning as the muscles contract further than I think they ever have. Sweet, sweet revenge. My phone vibrates against my desk and as I turn it over, the messages that plastered my lock screen only made my smile grow.
AGH okay, so i’ve had a fic idea for mr sungie since i started getting into stray kids back in november. it’s university! han and basically the two of you (x reader) are complete strangers and have been placed together for a project.
basically, he’s a douche frat boy (projecting so sorry) and priorities!!! he’s more focused on his brothers and pulling girls that he completely blows off the project. reader knows his type and refuses to even touch his part of the project and instead submits it without his name on it or his portion of the project done. he goes to the prof and bitches ab her and the prof grants an extension to him to complete his part of the project. he goes to reader and complains about how much he has to do and they (in their all gracious manner) decides to help him (much to the annoyance of her best friend). she absolutely despises him but like forced proximity and such hehehe. maybe adding in a bit of smau since ive been absolutely obsessed with it recently???
i’ve been putting off writing it because i’m still an INCREDIBLY small account (which is absolutely fine i am not upset by this in the slightest) i just want to do it justice!!! now that im on break from uni maybe this is my time 😌
AGH okay, so i’ve had a fic idea for mr sungie since i started getting into stray kids back in november. it’s university! han and basically the two of you (x reader) are complete strangers and have been placed together for a project.
basically, he’s a douche frat boy (projecting so sorry) and priorities!!! he’s more focused on his brothers and pulling girls that he completely blows off the project. reader knows his type and refuses to even touch his part of the project and instead submits it without his name on it or his portion of the project done. he goes to the prof and bitches ab her and the prof grants an extension to him to complete his part of the project. he goes to reader and complains about how much he has to do and they (in their all gracious manner) decides to help him (much to the annoyance of her best friend). she absolutely despises him but like forced proximity and such hehehe. maybe adding in a bit of smau since ive been absolutely obsessed with it recently???
i’ve been putting off writing it because i’m still an INCREDIBLY small account (which is absolutely fine i am not upset by this in the slightest) i just want to do it justice!!! now that im on break from uni maybe this is my time 😌
hi hiiiii I’m not too sure if you’re taking requests for Caleb yet!! If you are could we please get a fluffy fic of him and us just cuddling and him being absolutely head over heels!! (If you don’t thank you for your consideration anyway 💜)
𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝
★ 𝐚/𝐧: ty for the request anon, i have desperately been wanting to write for caleb but have had 0 inspo for him LOL. sorry this is so short and not a full length fic, plus it took so long :,( uni is kicking my BUTT rn. nonetheless i hope (and pray) you enjoy!! <3333
You were back in his arms, and there wasn’t anything more in the world Caleb could ever think to ask for.
It wasn’t the first time you had situated yourself there, nestled against his chest and weaved into his heart. Growing up, you two found yourselves entangled in each other's limbs more often than not. A nightmare, a bad day - one another’s arms were a safe haven from the cruel, destructive world that lurked outside, offering a sanctuary no words could ever quite replicate.
Though you were older now, and as much as Caleb would hate to admit it, so much more grown. Of course, you were still the girl he always knew, yet over the course of time, you had developed the mental strength of a thousand soldiers; built a determination and power more vigorous than he had ever seen. The softness of childhood had been replaced with resilience, sharpened by experience. Your body was just as strong, no doubt from tearing through countless wanderers like butter. Firm against his, no longer small and delicate.
You weren’t the little girl that would cry in his arms during thunderstorms anymore, afraid of the dark, crawling into his blankets with him for comfort. When did you grow so much? Had he simply failed to notice, or had he been too afraid to acknowledge the inevitable? As much as Caleb tried to convince himself otherwise, he knew the truth; you didn’t need him to protect you anymore. But in this moment, with your weight pressed against him, he could pretend. Just for a little while longer, he could hold on to the illusion that you were still safe in his arms, that he was still needed in your life.
There was always something there between you two, Caleb would be stupid to deny it. Or maybe he’d made it all up in his head - unspoken words, stolen glances, moments that lasted just a little longer than necessary. The way you’d turn to one another after every joke, the shared secret language of sighs and stares, fingers interlacing after high-fives as if they were meant to fit together.
He’d scare off the boys at school who tried to pursue you, never leaving your side so they’d know exactly who you belonged to. He noticed how you’d cling to his arm wherever you went, pressing soft kisses against his cheek, wearing his clothes like a second skin. In a crowded room, you always found each other, always sat a little closer than necessary, always gravitated toward one another like celestial bodies caught in each other’s orbit. There was never a need to say it outright, everyone knew. The two of you left a mark, staking an unspoken claim on one another.
‘Mine.’
But you were younger then, just kids who swore you were really good friends. It made sense, you had grown up together; shared dinners at night, shared a bed, shared your lives. It wasn’t surprising that you had such a hold on each other, that you were so effortlessly intertwined. The thought of spending the rest of your lives together was not unheard of, but spending it together? That was different.
That was something neither of you dared to say aloud, something that hovered between you like a breath waiting to be exhaled. The idea seemed forbidden, it seemed wrong.
Though, despite the taboo of it all, Caleb still loved you. He loved you before he even knew what love was, before he even knew your name. He loved you through every version of yourself, through all the times you’d forget him. But it didn’t matter, because no matter what, he knew your soul as intricately as he knew his own.
The movie playing in the background had just become noise in his ears, the plot lost entirely to the rhythm of your breathing, the way your fingers idly toyed with the chain around his neck.
“Are you even watching?” Your voice was quiet, fingertips brushing against the cool metal, eyes peering up at him through your lashes.
“Yeah.” His response was soft, unsure. Because how could he focus on anything else when you were here, pressed against him, looking at him like that?
For a fleeting second, it didn’t matter what was right or wrong, what was forbidden or accepted. He wondered what your lips would feel like against his, if they would be just as soft as they were against his cheek, just as gentle as they were against his forehead. He thought about your hands threading through his hair, about how they left burning traces on his skin, branding him with every touch; and you were. He was absolutely, irrevocably yours.
Caleb wanted to lean down and kiss every inch of your face, to pull you in so close that there would be no space left between you, no room for doubt, no fear of separation. He wanted to cross the line that you both had danced on for so many years.
No, he’d leave that to you.
Let you call the shots, make the final decision, decide where the boundaries would lie. Because Caleb would, in the end, be whatever you wanted him to be. Whether that was your best friend, your lover, something entirely else, or just Caleb. Because he loved you, and he was yours; and he understood, without words, without hesitation, that you were his too.
could you possible write something where after a long week or couple of shifts at the hospital mc notices that zayne’s hands are looking really rough and cracked (due to hand washing and his ice evol) so she makes it a point to get him a super nice and effective hand cream?
just like pure lovey, dovey, mushy, gross, adorable fluff.
thank uuuuuuuu
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
★ 𝐚/𝐧: little fluffy blurb for you, anon :)
Zayne, who preaches taking care of oneself but lacks doing so himself. Forgetting meals, sleepless nights, stress and strain regarding his patients and career. It’s not uncommon for the little things to slip his mind.
Zayne, who holds your hands in his often, reeling in the softness of your palms, delicate like a jasmine petal. It’s a harsh contrast to his rough, dry, cracked skin; broken and raw from the cold of his Evol mixed with countless times of washing his hands before and after surgeries and touching patients during checkups, going through pocket hand sanitizers at least once a week. You don’t mind though, still fiddling with his fingers as you talk, tracing circles on his palms, kissing the cracks on his knuckles. He thinks it must be uncomfortable, holding his hands, but you show no care.
Zayne, who tries to make a mental note to get lotion, but always forgets. Maybe a bit on purpose, as he enjoys your moments spent together where you massage your own sweet scented lotion into his dry, sore skin. He relishes in the soothing feeling of your gentle touch, along with the much needed moisture. When you’re apart, the scent lingers and it’s a heartwarming reminder of your presence.
Zayne, who adores you and your care. If he’s working late, you’re on your way with dinner. Little post-it-notes are left in his briefcase, reminding him to eat and take breaks, along with sweet messages and doodles reminding him of your love. He comes home to your warm embrace, the safe haven of your arms. If he’s stressed and overworked, you somehow always manage to pull him back together.
Zayne, who worked a late night at the hospital, arriving at your shared home to the kitchen light still on. On the table sat a neatly wrapped blue gift box, with snowman stickers stuck sporadically around the top. A post-it-note sat beside the box, ‘A little something for when you’re at work and I’m not around, since you keep forgetting to get it yourself <3’. Untying the blue lace, in snowflake wrapping paper sat your favorite lotion. The gesture makes his Evol turn warm, heart swelling at your thoughtfulness. Though he wouldn’t get the same gentle massages that you’d give him while away at the hospital, the gift was absolutely enough for him.
im a uni student for art and i was wondering if you could make a fic for rafayel comforting reader on art block ? i think he would be really sweeet about it.
thank u :3
𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when faced with the frustrations regarding a lack of creativity and ideas, rafayel is quick to help you come up with a solution, and without realizing, becomes the solution himself.
★ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: rafayel
★ 𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: first person pov, rafayel being proud of his gf, just really sweet, references to his anecdote 'addictive pain' (just mc taking a few art classes)
★ 𝐰𝐜: 1.5k
★ 𝐚/𝐧: i'm so sorry this took so long!! this is such a cute concept and tysm for the request, rafayel would fs be so sweet n nice ab his cutie struggling w art block. i hope you like it :,)
Frustration was creeping up through my throat, strangling the air out of me. Art was supposed to be my escape, but I had hit a literal wall. With balancing work and a social life, I had hardly found time to dedicate to my first love, and now it seemed as if all creativity had left my mind in an instant.
Tossing the sketchbook across the room that only held scribbles and scratches, I puffed out my cheeks, pressing my fists into the couch.
‘You’re better than this,’ I thought, ‘art is your passion.’
I picked up my phone, dialing Rafayel's number. It would be helpful to take a break, as I had been sitting around for hours crumpling up paper after paper, not a fruitful idea in sight. While I of course admired him as a person, I also looked up to him as an artist, even if I was often too shy to show my own talents to him.
“Hey cutie,” Rafayel's sweet voice came over the line, “whats up?”
“What’re you doing?” I hoped he wasn’t busy, cause I was about 30 seconds away from intruding into his house.
“Just working on this painting Thomas is on me about, why? Thinking about me?”
“Do you care if I come over?”
“That’s a silly question, I’ll see you when you get here.”
Click.
I rolled my eyes, ‘Yeah. Thanks.’
-
Sprawled out on his couch, I watched Rafayel drag his paintbrush across the canvas with little effort. I was jealous of how natural it all came to him, reminiscing on a time I was able to convey everything I pleased with that much grace, able to create anything with ease. Now my talent just sat in a corner, covered in dust, and I wasn’t even sure how to use it anymore.
“Raf.” I sat up, throwing one of the brushes lying around at his back.
He hummed a response, not bothering to turn around to look at me.
“When you run out of ideas, get art block per say, what do you do?”
“Sit in the bathtub, you know this.” Rafayel nodded his head towards the empty tub lying in the center of the room. “Yeah, but,” I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, “what about it brings you ideas?”
He shrugs, placing a kiss on my forearm draped loosely around him, “The water always brings me ideas. It’s easier coming up with things in a place where you’re comfortable.” Rafayel pays me a grin, “That’s why I come up with my best works when you’re around.”
“If you had to give advice to someone struggling with a lack of creativity, where would you tell them to start?” I stared longingly at the painting he was working on, craving the urge I once knew, the urge to create.
“Is that someone you?”
I flick his head, “If it was, would the advice change?”
He thinks for a moment, “If it were anyone else, I’d tell them to get a book of art prompts or something.” Rafayel cranes his head back to look at me, “You? I’d tell you to paint something you love.”
“Something I love?”
“Yeah, like food or a wanderer, I dunno. Your passions lie in what you love, so creativity for you will start there.”
Something I love.
-
I sat surrounded by old sketches and paintings I had made and kept throughout the years, and thought about what Rafayel said.
“Your passions lie in what you love, so creativity for you will start there.”
There were connections between all the pieces, and that connection was that they were of all the things I loved at some point or another. My favorite flower, the stray cat I had rescued growing up, Gran and Caleb, cherry blossoms when they first bloom; things that brought me joy and warmed my heart.
‘Okay,’ I thought to myself, tracing my fingers over all the papers, ‘easy enough. Just draw something I love.’
The sketchbook in front of me sat blank, just like my mind.
Something I love, something I love, something I love…
It started with a jawline, a mess of hair, wild eyes; then the sketch turned into an idea, and I was grabbing my watercolor paper and paint.
Heather purple hair, kaleidoscope eyes, fair skin adorned with carefully placed freckles and moles as if an angel had kissed him themself. His smile, I needed to capture his smile. His rosy cheeks.
I finished the painting, and grabbed another paper. His home, I needed to paint his home. The canvases that littered his space, the bathtub, the statues and vases, the tall windows that showed the sea outside.
Another paper, another paper, another paper.
The brush glided across the page as if unstoppable, using the same precision I used to fight wanderers, the trained eye, fast reflexes and grace. His hands, him painting, his laugh, everything I had memorized about him over time turned into the art that I had been waiting to spill from my mind.
Something I love.
Rafayel.
-
“Did you ever find that creative spark you were looking for?”
I turned around from cooking to look at Rafayel, who was standing at the island of my kitchen watching me work. His pretty purple hair was messed up from me earlier picking paint out of it, and his shirt loosely unbuttoned at the collar. With asking the question, his eyes glittered mischievously.
Rafayel himself was not the painter, he was the art.
“Yeah, I suppose I did.” I shrugged, going back to fixing dinner.
“I didn’t know you liked to do art,” He maneuvered his way next to me, poking my side, “why didn’t you tell me?”
Liked? No, art was something I adored. It was my security, an outlet. Even when everything was going wrong, my life in shambles, I always had the ability and opportunity to create. It was stability, it was love, my life and passion. I just needed to find it again.
I poked Rafayel back, “It was never something I thought I needed to share with you, plus I had gotten away from it for a while. Lost my spark.”
“Now I want to see!” Rafayel groaned, pouting, “Are you any good?”
“I took a few classes in university for fun, but not nearly as good as you.”
He went still for a second, “Art is subjective...So please show me?”
“Go into my room and my recent stuff should be in the folder sitting on my desk,” I pointed my spoon in his face, “but no messing around in there, you look at the folder and get out.”
“Yes ma’am.”
With that he descended down the hallway, and I heard the soft creak of my door opening. For a few minutes, the only sound in the apartment was the quiet sizzle of the food in the pan.
Then, it was too quiet for too long.
“Rafayel, you better not be in there snooping!” I shouted, only to get no response. A few more seconds passed by before I called out to him again, “Raf?”
“Why are you a hunter?”
I jumped, startled by his sudden appearance behind me. He was clutching the pieces I had done of him, looking down at them and back at me with awe and adoration. His fingers danced gently over the paper, analyzing every detail.
“What do you mean?” I frowned, his question catching me off guard.
“These are…I don’t even have words. They’re amazing.” Rafayel continued to stare at the watercolor paintings in his hands, flipping through them carefully.
A soft laugh left my lips, “You just like them cause they’re of you.” The compliment didn’t fall on deaf ears however, and my cheeks turned pink with his praise. For one of the greatest painters in our era to think my work is ‘amazing’? Yeah, that felt nice.
Rafayel smirked, “Well, yes. I think that adds to it.” He laid out all of the papers across the island, “I just don’t understand why you didn’t pursue this, why only take a few classes in university instead of doing it full time. You have a real talent…”
“That's a big compliment coming from the Rafayel.”
“You could do as well as me if you put this out there.” He waved one of the pieces in my face, before quickly pulling away, “No, actually, I want all of these. I’m going to hang them up when I get home.”
“You gonna pay for them?” I crossed my arms, trying to act tough. Grinning, Rafayel wrapped an arm around my shoulder and waved his hand around as if gesturing for me to see the world, “See? You’ve already got that art business mindset down, I can see the vision for your future from here.”
He looked down at me with a sweet, sincere glint in his eyes, “But really, I’m glad you found that creativity you were looking for. I would hate for you to abandon something like this.”
“It was your help,” I put my head on his chest, “you told me to draw something I love.”
Rafayel pinched my cheek, “Well I’ll always be willing to be your muse, cutie.”
★ synopsis: after a week of silence following the events that spiraled from your fake relationship, there's a knock at your door in the night. the sequel to wishful thinking, read part 1 here!
★ character: sylus
★ cw: some angst (happy ending), really sappy make up smut, soft sylus, kinda sub sylus if you squint, body worship, female reader
★ word count: 3.1k
★ a/n: woot woot part 2 is finally here, sorry for the wait!! i had envisioned this being a two-parter from the start, and i wanted to do a bit of sweet smut hehe. you'll have to pry soft and caring sylus out of my dead cold hands that man is needy and obsessed w mc :(
It had been a week.
A week of nothing, absolute silence. No calls, no texts. It slowly became as if Sylus never even existed.
It was hell at first. My feelings had come on so fast, and then just like that it was over in the blink of an eye. The game of it all, will they or won’t they find out, the lies, the fun. It was exciting, until I started to get hurt; and I wasn’t going to put my own feelings and misery aside at the expense of everyone else.
Slowly, but surely, the days got easier. I had a break from work where I could take the time to put myself back together, though the band aids didn’t heal the wounds. They just helped to ease the ache.
I started to move on. It had been a week; I was going to go back to work, and act as if none of this ever happened.
Then there was a knock at the door.
It came in the middle of the night, and I just assumed it was one of my neighbors telling me to turn my TV down, or Xavier dropping off a game he had borrowed.
When I opened it, outside in the complex's hallway stood a sopping wet Sylus, drenched from the storm outside. His silver hair was messy, sticking to his forehead, his clothes disheveled as if he had thrown them on in a rush. A look of desperation resided on his face, replacing his usual calm and smug demeanor.
Not seeing him for a week was not something out of the blue, but the big bad leader showing up at my doorstep shivering like a wet cat was. Especially after everything that happened.
My heart felt like it lurched out of my chest, and all the bandages I had tried wrapping around it came loose in one swift movement. All the healing I had done flew outside the door I had opened and stood beside Sylus, mocking me.
I almost slammed the door closed, angry at his audacity, showing up at my place in the heat of the night after not speaking to me. Angry at everything that happened. Angry, hurt.
A whisper of my name escaped his lips, and I froze. It wasn’t often he called me by my name, only addressing me with his usual pet names.
“What are you doing here?” I questioned, hesitant about this whole exchange.
He glared at me, “That’s no way to speak to someone in distress.”
Angry.
I went to shut the door in his face, pissed off and violent, but he stopped it with his hand.
“Wait, I’m sorry.” The apology felt foreign coming out of him, “Can I come in?”
The look on his face went soft, and it almost looked as if he was going to cry. Everything about this was so out of character for him, and if I wasn’t so angry, maybe I’d even feel sorry for him.
Without a word, I pulled the door back open, stepping aside for him to come in. He was obviously cold, and it seemed like was trying his hardest to keep himself together.
“Don’t sit on the couch, you’re wet.” Maybe I was being mean, maybe he was undeserving of my anger, maybe letting him in was a mistake. I sighed, “Sylus, why are you here?”
“You’ve been ignoring me.” His words were hard, and his stare was piercing. Normally I would feel uncomfortable under his gaze, but the exasperation I felt from his words outweighed that.
I scoffed, “I’ve been ignoring you? You haven’t reached out, what was there to ignore?”
“You’ve been ignoring me, you’ve been pulling back. I know you know I’m not stupid, kitten.”
He was right, he wasn’t stupid. When I started pulling away, he started pushing harder, and I could tell he knew I was almost done.
“Okay?” I crossed my arms, avoiding his eyes, “Then you started ignoring me. We’re even.”
“No.” He shot out, taking a step towards me, “That’s not how that works. I was waiting for anything from you, but it never came.”
“What did I do? What did I do wrong?” Sylus tilted his head forward, and I started to finally feel guilty. All of this was so different for him, when Sylus was upset he became mean, aggressive. He put up walls, started fights. For him to be so…pitiful, where was all of this coming from?
“I don’t understand what you mean-” He cut me off with a forced laugh, “You don’t understand? I don’t know how much more obvious I can be, sweetie.”
“Okay,” He paused, “I love you.”
My heart stopped. For a second, the world stopped spinning. It’s like everything, all at once, came to a halt with Sylus’ confession.
“You…love me?” The words tasted bitter on my tongue. This was not how this was supposed to go. I loved him, that’s why I had to stop all of this, so it didn’t continue. It couldn’t continue. He cannot love me back.
“Why else do you think I threw myself into all of that? Why do you think I didn’t want anybody else to do it? Because I was bored? I have plenty of other things to do in my spare time.” His voice was hoarse, almost pleading for me to understand.
“Sylus, I-”
“For a second, I thought you loved me too.” Sylus sounded desperate, “But then you pulled back. You disappeared.”
He grabbed my hands, “Tell me, sweetie, what did I do wrong?”
“You love me.” I whispered, “That’s what you did wrong.”
Sylus let go, taking a step back. He ran his hand through his hair, a sorry attempt to pull himself back together, “I apologize,” He said, “I misunderstood this then.”
I looked at him, his appearance disordered and disheartened. The once prideful and arrogant man was now broken down to nothing but a shell of himself, and I realized the cause of that was me. Sylus was never one to back down from a fight, yet here he was throwing up a white flag.
He went to leave, turning his back to me. Turning his back to whatever was happening, breaking the character I had come to know. Going down without a fight. This broken man wasn’t Sylus.
“I love you too.” The words came out rushed, in a hurry to stop him. Announcing my own declaration of love wasn’t something I had intended to do, planning to keep it inside for all of eternity, letting the poisonous feeling bubble inside until it ate me alive.
Sylus stopped in his tracks.
“Then why is this wrong?” He didn’t turn back around to face me, and I wasn’t sure I wanted him to. I’d crumble and fall if I saw his eyes.
“It would never work,” I let it all out, everything I had been holding in for so long, all the insecurities I had collected regarding any kind of relationship I could have with Sylus. “I’m a hunter, and you’re the head of Onychinus. We’re in two different worlds, living such different lives, it’s doomed. All of this is doomed.”
“Do you really think I care?”
His fingers suddenly gripped my chin with a possessive hold, as if he thought I might run off again. Trying to pull myself away, his grip tightened on my face, as well as the hold he had on my heart.
“It doesn’t matter if you care or not,” I gave him a weak glare, trying to scare him off, “don’t be selfish, Sylus. We’ll both just get hurt.”
Sylus lips twitched downwards, “I think you should allow yourself to be selfish for once.” His grasp left my face, “Do what you please.”
We stood in silence for a second, and I set my gaze upon the floor to avoid his stare, his red eyes penetrating my soul.
“What are you thinking?” He finally asked. I hesitated, not exactly sure what the right answer really was. I could continue to fight this feeling, or jump into the water.
“I’m scared.” I confessed, “I don’t want to get hurt. I can’t go through all of that, all of the heartache when things go wrong.”
“Now why do you think I would ever let that happen, sweetie?”
Sylus grabbed my hand, placing it against his heart, “This beats for you, I live for you.” I felt the quick, erratic rhythm of his heartbeat under my fingers, “I never stop missing you when you’re not around, every second you’re not beside me is misery.”
“I'll love you until my last breath, and even in the heavens too.” He pulls my hand up, placing a kiss against my palm, “I will never let anything happen to you, I could never live with myself if I hurt you.”
He kisses the back of my hand, my wrist, all the way up my arm to my collarbone, “I will do anything to make this work - if this falls apart, I’ll just put it back together. I need you by my side.”
I feel his soft breathing against the crook of my neck, and goosebumps rise on my skin. I want to fall into him, let myself become loose in his embrace and learn to trust his promises.
“But if you don’t want it, just say that.” Sylus presses one last kiss to the skin of my neck, “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll leave through that door, and I won’t bother you again.”
“Sylus…” I can only manage a whisper of his name. Everything else gets caught in my throat, my mind a tangled mess of emotions.
His face is inches from mine, and he quickly gives me an amused smile, “That's not a no.”
Before I can respond, even think of something to say, he captures my lips with his own. The strong smell of his cologne mixed with the taste of his mouth against mine makes me dizzy. The room and everything in it has suddenly become so warm, and my skin feels as if it’s been lit on fire.
Sylus pushes my body up against the wall behind us, hands trailing up my curves, grabbing at anything he can. His fingers embed themselves in my hips, waist, thighs, trying to pull me any closer.
“I’ll ask you again, sweetie,” He pulls away and I’m left standing there breathless with an unwavering grip on his (still) damp sweater, “do you want me to stop?”
I tangle my fingers in his wet hair, bringing his face back down to mine.
“No.” I whisper against Sylus’ lips, before crashing mine against his feverishly. Every feeling I had for him, everything I had suppressed, all of it was going into this kiss. He groaned into my mouth, his hold on me becoming tighter.
It all made perfect sense; The way our lips moved in sync, how our bodies fit perfectly together, our minds addicted to the thoughts of one another. We were, to put it simply, made for this. Our souls intertwined with ease as we found solace and safety in each other. All of the fear I had been plagued with dissipated with the consolation of Sylus’ body against mine. I was no longer scared of this not working, all I cared about was him.
After all, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
With one swift movement Sylus lifted me off my feet and cradled me with ease, maneuvering around my apartment as if it was his own.
Before I could even register I was in my bedroom, I was pinned against the mattress in the safe confine of his arms.
“Please,” His breathing was ragged, “let me show you how well I can treat you, let me touch you how you deserve.”
I lean up and kiss him between his furrowed brows, and he takes the opportunity to dive for my neck.
“Please.” Sylus repeats again. His eyes are practically begging. I give him a nod.
Stripping me of my shirt, he places gentle kisses down my torso down to the waistband of my shorts. Goosebumps rise on my skin from the cold air mixed with his gentle touch. His rough, calloused hands hold my hips like glass, a finger slowly pulling my shorts off my legs. A hiss of air leaves his lungs when Sylus sits back to take me in.
“Fuck.” He whispers, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for... Thought about having you like this.”
I give him a sheepish smile, “Is it worth the wait?”
His adams apple bobs in his throat as he swallows whatever words were going to leave his lips, running his hands up my thighs and waist. Sylus’ eyes travel up my figure, almost as if memorizing every dip and curve of my body.
“Every single second was worth it.” His voice was soft, “You’re perfect.”
Sylus leans down, pressing his lips to the bone where my hips and pelvis meet. He picks my leg up, lightly lifting it over his shoulder, resting his head on the inside of my thigh and looking up at me through his eyelashes.
He looks angelic, pure almost, glowing in the moonlight that spills through the window. His dominant, hard-bitten and arrogant exterior had disintegrated into nothing but his surrender as he lay open and bare for me in between my legs. All the walls I knew Sylus to have crumbled and fell, his only goal to show me that I’m loved; serving to please.
The tip of one of his fingers slides up my slit, and my breath catches in my throat. Sylus pauses, “Is this okay?”
“More than okay.” I confirm.
He quickly discards the cloth separating him from the heat in between my thighs, placing a gentle kiss to the place that craves him the most.
A moan escapes me as his lips latch onto my clit. My hands weave themselves through his hair, “Oh God, Sy- Do that again-”
Sylus groans into my core, worshiping the sex and heart that weeps for him, and only him. I twitch my hips towards his face, my mind reeling with the feeling that emits from his mouth.
“Yes-” He pushes a finger into me, easing the ache deep inside, “Be greedy, kitten, use me as you wish.”
I can only manage whimpers of his name, my brain incoherent and high on his mouth and touch as his tongue and fingers work magic.
Tugging on the silver strands that grace his pretty head, the moan that leaves him vibrates against me, and I think for a second I might be done for.
“Mm, Sylus, wait-”
“That’s it, sweetie. Getting close?” His fingers curl up inside me and I shake my head, not wanting to finish so soon, “No, I-”
He pulls back and sits up as soon as the word leaves me, and I almost sob at the loss of contact. Sylus’ eyes scan my face with concern, and I pull him back down on top of me. His chest heaving against mine, he plants a kiss to the corner of my eye, “I thought I-”
“Not yet, fuck me.” Cutting him off, I push my body up against his.
“Of course, kitten,” Within seconds his pants and briefs were discarded somewhere in the room, my thighs instinctively wrapping around his hips, “who am I to deny you?”
His hard length pressed up against my entrance, the desperation making me crazy.
“Sylus, please-” I tried to push my hips forward, longing for more. He cupped my cheek, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead, inching deeper agonizingly slow, “Patience, sweetie. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t!” Despite my reassurance, Sylus’ eyes were still filled with worry. Using my legs that were wrapped around him, I yanked his hips forward and with one fell swoop he was to the hilt inside.
Spasming around him at the sudden fullness, I sunk my teeth into his collarbone to stifle a scream. I could feel myself gripping him like a vice, his moaning and panting in my ear a sweet confirmation.
“I told you I could do it.” I lapped at the broken skin where I had bitten.
Sylus laughed lowly against my lips, “I didn’t mean to doubt you, kitten.”
The movement of his hips were rhythmic, every thrust sending me deeper into a spiral of love and pleasure. My thoughts were nothing but static, only focusing on the beautiful man in front of me and how good he was capable of making me feel.
His own moans were strangled, groaning praises and muttering sweet nothings into my ear. Sylus thrusted deeply into me, tightly holding my hand as if he thought I and this moment were going to disappear. His eyes would snap open and flutter closed with every movement, relishing in the feeling of our bodies together.
My skin was electric, fireworks setting off in every corner of my being. My mind spun with the addictive feeling and taste of Sylus’ sweet lips on mine, his fingers digging into my hips.
He and I together were not doomed, though us being apart was. We were magnetic, velcro, sworn to be together. We were aligned in ways I wasn’t sure was even possible.
“Tell me again that you love me,” Sylus trapped my head in between his arms, “tell me that this is okay and you want it.” His eyes were misty, his voice hoarse.
“I love you.” I mewled as his thrusts were getting faster, harder.
“I can be good for you, I’ll take care of you, please just let me be yours. Please be mine, let me have this.”
The familiar feeling rose inside, and I knew I was close, “Yes, Sy- I’m all yours.”
“I love you, I love you, I love- Fuck-” His hips snapped against mine at a pace that had me seeing stars, “My girl, you’re my girl. Mine-”
His girl.
I came undone with a loud moan of Sylus’ name, scratching my fingers sharply down his back, arching myself deep against him. His hips stuttered against mine, reaching his own high. Wrapping each other in our arms, trying to pull one another any impossibly closer. So close our souls could touch.
I didn’t just want Sylus, no, I needed him. It wasn’t until I found him that I discovered the large, empty sorrowful space that resided in my life. A space that I was always too scared to confront, a space that he fit into so perfectly.
Some force in this massive universe decided to pair me with him, to make me his, and I was tired of being scared and ignoring it.
★ synopsis: in order to get a creepy coworker off your back, you begrudgingly let sylus play the part of your fake boyfriend. unfortunately, your emotions and pride quickly spiral out of control.
★ character: sylus
★ cw: first person pov, enemies to lovers, fake dating, part 1 out of 2, angst, some swearing
★ word count: 5k
★ a/n: i had HELLA writers block while writing this, so if it seems chaotic and rushed that's why. i really wanted to scrap this but i spent so long on it i would be disappointed if i did. this is part one out of two, and i promise to get part two out super soon! it should be a lot better than this one *sob*
“Is that a new necklace?”
I grimace, the annoying twerp’s voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard.
“No, Nicholas, it's the one I always wear.” I press my lips into a tight line, staring at the papers in front of me. After everything I’ve tried, I don’t know how he hasn’t caught on with how absolutely, utterly disinterested I am.
Nicholas was a recent graduate from the academy, starting his first year here at the Association. At first he seemed sweet, like an infatuated kid, but it quickly worsened and now I have to deal with harassment every day at work.
He’d do anything and everything to spark a conversation, trying to work any attention out of me despite all my efforts of ignoring him. I tried to be nice originally, letting him down easily whenever he’d pay me compliments and ask me out to lunch.
That didn’t work.
He became more persistent, and I resorted to either giving him the silent treatment or being straight up rude. Throwing him off my back seemed like an impossible task, and I was convinced I had developed some sort of parasite that was bound to me until I retired.
“Ah, I’ve never noticed…” Nicholas sat himself in front of me, and I could feel his stare on my face.
Don’t look up, don’t look up, don’t look up.
“Hey guys!”
Thank God.
Forcing a smile at Tara’s cheerfulness, Nicholas paid her a nod, clearly unsettled with her interruption. She came up behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. If there was anyone who was capable of putting a wedge in between me and my borderline stalker, it was Tara.
“Are you excited for the Hunter’s Ball? I can't believe it’s already coming up…” She sighed dreamily behind me, resting her cheek on the top of my head. While the Hunter’s Ball wasn’t my favorite event, it was typically a good time.
Well, at least before Nicholas came along.
I couldn’t imagine how it would go this year, him crawling six feet up my ass as I try to shake him off the whole night. It’s bad enough I have to deal with him sober, I can’t even imagine how much more unbearable he’d become with drinks in his system. This was the one night of the year the Association actually shows their appreciation for their employees, and I’d be damned if I couldn’t enjoy myself.
“It’s always nice we get a plus one,” Tara mentions, “I can't wait to see who everyone brings." She nudges my shoulder with her arm, laughing.
The look in Nicholas’ eyes told me everything he was about to say. I could practically hear the words come out of his mouth before he even spoke them-
“Yeah, I’m gonna bring my boyfriend.” I spoke before thinking, the words an act of desperation. Nicholas’ eyes widened and Tara’s arms flew from my body, as she whipped herself to stand in front of me.
Oh no, why would I say that- Why did I say that?!
“Your… what!” She started grasping at my hands, questions flying out of her mouth before I couldn’t even process half of them, “Since when? What’s his name? Where’d you meet him? Do you have any pictures?”
I knew I had gotten myself into trouble, I didn’t even have the slightest clue as to who I could possibly feign to be my boyfriend; but the look on Nicholas’ face told me I needed to keep up whatever I was doing, because it was working.
I smiled innocently, “We’ve been keeping it on the down low, things are still pretty new. I was planning to hard launch us at the Ball.” Chuckling nervously, I was convinced nobody was believing a word I was saying.
“Ohmygosh Mystery Man! I’m so excited!” Tara continued to blabber on, trying to pull any detail she could out of me. I made eye contact with Nicholas and thought about how soon the Ball was - only a week away.
Letting out a sigh of relief because of my believable lie, the feeling soon faded and was replaced with chest crushing stress. I had no boyfriend, and no plan; I was going to have to think fast.
-
Laying in my bed that night, I scoured my brain for any potential suitor. I thought maybe Zayne, a cardiac surgeon and childhood best friend. He’d be perfect, all my coworkers would be so pleased, but a cow would have to jump over the moon before he’d even think about complying. Maybe Xavier’s friend Jeremiah? A sweet florist…No, Xavier would never let me do that.
I flipped onto my stomach, screaming into my pillow. Smushing my face into the fabric, I silently prayed I’d suffocate and be free from this mess I’d webbed myself into.
Before I could pass out and be put out of my misery, my phone started to ring.
Not even looking at the caller id, I picked it up and answered with a disgruntled, “Hello?”
“You never sound pleased to hear from me, Kitten.”
I screamed into the pillow again, Sylus being the complete utter last person I wanted to hear from right now.
He chuckled over the line, “Actually, I think that might be the unhappiest I’ve heard you.”
“What do you want?”
“Can I not just call to talk? I’ve had a rough day and wanted to hear your voice.”
I let out a forced laugh, “You’ve had a rough day? YOU’VE had a rough day? You will not believe the day I had then.”
His voice softened, “Talk to me about it then.”
While I most definitely realized my day couldn’t be comparable to his, as he was essentially a mob boss running the N109 Zone, venting about my problems felt nice. As much as I couldn’t stand Sylus, with his incessant arrogance and backhanded flattery, he was easy to talk to sometimes.
Sometimes.
“I don’t even know how I got myself into this situation. Well, I do know, I just didn’t mean to!” I groaned, throwing my face into my hands.
He sits in silence for a minute, and I can hear the soft playing of one of his records in the background. It’s annoying how he feels the need to call and bother me, with a side of music, to wind down at night.
“When is it?” He finally asks, and I hear shuffling.
“Next Saturday, so…” I can practically see the clock ticking down, “Shit, a week from today.”
“What time?”
“9- Sylus, why?”
“I’ll be there at 8:30 then.” There’s mirth in his voice and my face goes pale, “Sylus, no, don’t you dare. It cannot be you, just let me borrow one of your men or something.”
Sylus lets out a low laugh, “Now why would I do that when I could just be your date?”
“Not date,” I cut him off, “fake boyfriend.”
“Of course, fake boyfriend.” He clucked his tongue, “Why would I let someone else be your fake boyfriend?”
“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re the big bad Onychinus boss?” Pressing a finger to my temple to ease the headache that he was becoming, I started to pace my floor. “You’re stepping into enemy territory at this event, there’s no way I’ll be able to save your ass if you get found out, let alone what will happen to me and my place at the Association.”
“I’ve already met some of your coworkers before, remember? It’s best if it's me instead of some stranger, and trust me sweetie, they won’t know.”
My coworkers did take a liking to him when they met during one of our outings, Sylus just had this charisma about him that sucked everyone in; the mysterious fruit vendor Skye who was absolutely horrid at karaoke. He stole their hearts quickly, and I’m lucky if they don’t ask me at least once a week how he’s doing. Sylus was just magnetic like that, even if you tried your damndest to hate him, there’s just something about his demeanor that’s magic.
He has a point here, and it’s killing me to admit he’s right.
“Fine,” I snap, “but absolutely no funny business.”
“I’m not sure what you could possibly mean by that, Kitten.” Sylus lets out a low laugh that makes me want to punch my phone, “I’ll be there at 8:30.”
Before I can respond, he quickly hangs up. I’m left sitting on my bed with racing thoughts of everything that could possibly go wrong. Was bringing Sylus really worth getting this creep off my back? Well, if there was anyone who could scare him off, it would be the leader of Onychinus. Worst case scenario, I have Sylus pull a gun out on him.
I shake my head, trying to clear my stupid thoughts.
I sent him a picture of the invitation, which included the dress code. I wasn’t too worried about him making a fool out of me, just the overwhelming anxiety of bringing a top criminal as my date to a work event where we quite literally are attempting to hunt this exact man down.
Trying to trust Sylus isn’t the easily discoverable type, I make a miserable attempt to put my mind to rest, and get some sleep.
-
The next week following my abrupt news of a boyfriend was hell. Not to my surprise, word was quickly spread through the Association, and I was constantly being flooded with questions and endless pressure to just ‘give them a name!’. I even had Xavier at my desk with questions one morning, and he was always the type to steer away from work related gossip.
Not to mention Sylus himself was being utterly insufferable. He was taking this far too seriously, sending lunch and flowers to my work with paper love notes attached. It was bringing on more attention at work, and every time I told him to stop, he’d just send more extravagant bouquets that cluttered my desk and made the surrounding area smell like a funeral.
At one point, I woke up to a box in the mail. Inside was a black velvet dress, a ruby necklace, and heels. Sending him an angry text about how I have my own clothes, he just responded by transferring 200 dollars into my bank account saying, ‘Get your nails done too. Match the outfit.’
By Saturday night, I was almost ready for everyone to meet Sylus, just so people would stop with the ‘fake boyfriend trivia’ while I’m on the clock, and his annoying attempts at romantic gestures.
The night of, at 8:30 on the dot, I heard a knock at my door.
On the other side was a well dressed Sylus; I think it was the first time I had ever seen him done up so nicely. He wasn’t ever one to slack on his looks, but in his black pinstripe suit and red tie that matched my gifted necklace, I had to take a second. Even though he made me constantly want to take my gun and replicate the time I shot him, I could never deny he’s hot. His arguably perfect looks just adds to the hatred.
He looked me up and down, smirking. The dress he had gotten me was backless and stopped at my ankles, with a slit up to my thigh that had me worried that with one wrong move I’d flash all my coworkers. Opening his mouth to I’m sure to make a snide comment, I cut him off.
“I have to put on my shoes and that necklace, but then I’m ready.” I walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the ruby piece that was gifted, struggling with the clasp thanks to the nails I was practically forced to get.
“Here.” Coming up behind me, Sylus took the necklace from my hands. Brushing my hair out of the way, I felt his fingers against my neck as he secured the jewelry with ease. I turned around to face him, and he smiled down at me.
He gestured to the couch, “Sit.”
His one word commands were starting to get on my nerves. “What?” I glared at him.
Grabbing my shoulder and softly pushing me back, I tumbled onto the couch. Sylus snickered, “I said sit, Kitten.”
Getting on his knees, he picked up my ankle, slipping the heel onto my foot.
“I could’ve done this myself.” Scoffing, I averted my eyes to anywhere that wasn’t Sylus on his knees in front of me.
“I’m sure you could with those nails, sweetie.” He hooked the straps around my ankle, and I felt my skin burn red where his fingers danced. It was definitely red with anger.
For sure.
Standing when he was done, Sylus reached a hand out to me. Narrowing my eyes at his hand, I ignored the help. To my dismay, I stood up too fast in heels and lost a bit of my balance. Sylus caught my waist and gave me a smug smile, pulling me into him. “You look absolutely beautiful tonight, my love.”
I grimaced, pulling away from his grasp and heading to the door. “Oh, do not do that. No more of that.”
“We have to get into character, I’m just being prepared.”
“Be in character when we’re there. Not here.”
“I have to get into the mindset.” Sylus creeped closer to me, and I stepped back. At this point, I was essentially pinned in between him and the door. “After all, I have to practice so I can impress everybody.” He leaned down, his breath fanning against the side of my neck.
“Right.” I rolled my eyes, opening the door behind me and taking a backwards step out. Sylus stumbled at the sudden movement, and I smirked at his loss of composure. “Let’s go, we’ll be late.”
-
When we arrived, I felt my heart begin to race. All the mental preparation I had done for this exact night fled my mind as soon as Sylus put the car into park. My worry was not of showing off my new fancy fake boyfriend, it was the fact that I was bringing my new fancy fake boyfriend into an arena that was hunting him. Over the past week I’ve tried telling myself he’s not easily discoverable, I mean, if he was, the Association would’ve had him tracked down by now. However, knowing my luck, I was preparing for the worst.
Sylus gently placed his hand on my thigh, attempting to give me a reassuring smile, “It’ll be okay, Kitten. Just follow my lead.”
We’re fucked.
He walked around, opening the door for me. His car was clearly the nicest and most expensive out of all the guests tonight, and I knew if anybody saw I’d never hear the end of it.
When we were nearing the entrance, I sighed, shoving down my pride and grabbing Sylus’ arm, wrapping myself sweetly around his bicep. I watched his lips curve upward into a smug smile, and I suppressed the urge to throw myself off and take my heel to his-
“Invitation please.” Sylus handed the men working the door the two slips of paper, and I begrudgingly walked in clinging to his arm.
‘Playing the character’, I thought.
The venue the Ball was being held at was extravagant, with a high, golden ceiling, and golden marble floors.
It was filled to the brim with people that worked for the Association, plus their guests. I winced at the sheer amount of people, automatically going into defense mode due to the overwhelming fact that we were outnumbered.
“Smile, sweetie.” Letting go of his arm, Sylus took his pointer finger and thumb, lightly pulling the corners of my mouth upward.
I nipped at his finger, and he poked my nose as a warning.
I heard someone shriek my name, and I whipped around to see Tara quickly approaching. “Oh wow, you’re beautiful!” She wrapped me up in a tight hug, rocking me side to side. Letting go of me just as fast, Tara gasped when she saw Sylus.
“Skye! Oh my gosh it’s you, how sweet!” She fawned over us, and he smiled kindly at her, “You look lovely tonight, Tara.” If he kept up the nice talk, I was going to put my head through one of the walls.
“Here, come with me. Some of us already have a table together!”
Tara dragged us over to a table where a few of my most nagging coworkers stood around talking. Introducing him to the ones who had never met him, I groaned internally, ready for the torment of questions to begin.
“So,” Tara dropped the first bomb, “how long have you two been a thing?” I know this has been weighing on her worse than me all week.
“About a month now.” Sylus answered with ease. I tried to suppress a shocked look on my face, because I was planning on doing all the talking; but that continued, them rapid firing questions and Sylus answering all of them as if he had this all thought out. I mean, shit, he was convincing me.
“I have to know how this happened!” One of them said, and Sylus tucked my hair behind my ear, pretending to recall the moment.
“I had feelings for her for a while,” He said, smiling down at me, “and it got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. It was spur of the moment, but I showed up at her door in the middle of the night and had to ask her if she felt the same.”
Damn. He was good.
All the girls squealed, “That's so romantic!”
I placed my hand on Sylus’ chest, batting my eyelashes up at him, “I’m gonna go get a drink, d’you want anything?” He grabbed my hand, matching my energy, and kissing my knuckles, “No, sweetie, that’s quite alright. I’ll stay here and entertain your friends.”
All of them cooed at the sight, probably thinking we were so lovesick for each other it hurt. Well, it did hurt, this whole thing was a pain in my ass I needed to be over.
I grabbed a glass of wine from the drink table, the group out of sight. Sighing, I resisted the urge to down the glass all at once. While I was uncomfortable, I couldn’t deny everything was going well. Everyone was pleased, so I tried to relax.
“That's a pretty necklace,” I heard from behind me, “is it new?”
Nevermind.
Turning around, there stood Nicholas. His eyelids drooped, and he reeked of wine.
“What did you say?” I asked, looking around for the quickest exit route.
“I said I liked your necklace. Is it new?”
God, does this twerp have any other material?
“Yes, it is.” A low voice said, and I felt an arm wrap around my waist. My head shot up to meet Sylus in the eyes; I guess my face was screaming, ‘Help me!’, because he gave my side a soft squeeze of reassurance.
“Oh.” Was all Nicholas replied, shooting his eyes back and forth between Sylus and I. In his head, I imagined the pieces clicking together. ‘This is it,’ I thought, ‘finally he’ll leave me alone!’
“This song is nice… Would you care to dance?” There were no thoughts behind his eyes. This guy was genuinely dense. I could’ve sworn my jaw dropped at his stupidity, and Sylus chuckled next to me.
“So sorry, but tonight she’s mine.” Swiftly sweeping me away, Nicholas and my glass of wine were quickly left behind.
“Why don’t you dance with me instead, sweetie?” Sylus said, leading me to the open floor where people were dancing to the soft classical music.
Sylus put my hand on his shoulder, intertwining my other hand with his. Placing his hand on my lower back, he pulled me in closer to him.
“Look at me.”
His eyes stared into mine, and there was something behind them I couldn’t quite place my finger on. We started slowly ballroom dancing in our own little spot on the floor, a bit away from everyone else. As much as I wanted to strangle this man, I could relax a little in his arms. He just felt safe sometimes.
Sometimes.
“You’re doing good tonight.” Sylus said, still looking into my eyes.
“Thanks.” I started playing with the hair on the nape of his neck, “So where do we go from here?”
He raised a brow, “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I really don’t think I do, Kitten.”
“How am I going to tell my coworkers that we ‘broke up’ right after this? They’ll be suspicious.”
“We could keep doing this for a while.” Sylus shrugged, smirking.
Groaning, I slammed my head on his shoulder, “Tonight was bad enough, I can’t do this for any longer.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
He was right. I didn’t have a better idea.
-
So we did just that.
I was going to give it two months. Then, it would say we were together for three months total, which looked like a completely reasonable time to test run a relationship and then call it quits.
At first, I was completely miserable. I already couldn’t stand Sylus as a friend, how could I stand him as my ‘boyfriend’? After that night at the Ball, to my dismay, he completely won everybody over. It made me feel like I had to put more effort into faking all of this.
The extravagant gifts sent to my work started getting sent to my place too. I told him he didn’t have to send them to me outside of work, let alone at all, but he always insisted so he could “stay in character”.
Whether it was convincing me to let him take me out to fancy places, like dinner or a show, it was always just to keep him ‘in character’. I think he just liked using that excuse so I would be forced to hang out with him and not be able to deny or complain about it.
Though, after a bit, it became easy to slip into a groove.
I started to not mind the talk about Sylus; everything started to become bearable, and dare I say it, kind of fun.
We had played with the claw machines once, and he won a white cat plushie. Jokingly, I had told him it looks exactly like him, and snapped a picture of the cat next to his face to prove a point.
I made that photo my wallpaper, to make things more realistic. It freaked me out for a while whenever I’d open my phone, but I came to like it after a while. Sylus looked kind of cute in the photo, his expression mocking the plushies. He looked kind, warm, a soft look on his face you didn’t see on him often. The more I saw the photo, the more it made me smile.
I began looking forward to his calls, his texts. He’d call me to say good morning, or tell me goodnight, even if he was in the middle of a meeting. The ‘fake dates’ became less uncomfortable as I grew more accustomed to the situation we had put ourselves into. The roles we were playing came easier and easier with time.
Which was causing a problem.
It wasn’t hard to notice the way my body would flush when he touched me, or how my once strong demeanor around him would start to falter. Words and actions of his that would be fast to anger me, quickly changed into something else.
I was starting to care about him. How annoying.
There was one day when Sylus decided he was going to pick me up from work. “Your coworkers will think it's cute.” He had said, and who was I to deny a free ride home.
He showed up on his bike in his leather jacket, in all his badass glory. Leaning against the bike, he stood up straight and smiled at me when I came outside. As time had gone on, Sylus was slowly becoming less hard and uncaring towards me. He began treating me like I was fragile, always so gentle with me. Him getting into character I suppose.
Sylus held his hand out towards me, and when I took it, he pulled me into his chest. I squealed, laughing at the sudden gesture.
“They’re looking,” He said, glancing at a few of my coworkers still inside, watching us intensely, “Kiss me.”
I choked, “What?”
He grabbed my chin, tilting it up slightly. He cocked his head to the side a bit, almost as if to ask, ‘is this okay?’.
Nodding my head yes, Sylus smirked before leaning down and pressing his lips against mine. For how aggressive he can be as the leader of Onychinus, the kiss was unusually soft. I had imagined kissing him, for all of this, and I never expected him to be the type to be so kind and gentle.
My blood was rushing in my ears and I thought I was going to melt under his hands. I didn’t realize just how bad I subconsciously wanted this until it was happening, and I wanted more. I wanted to kiss him so hard I could steal the air from his lungs, I wanted to grip his shirt so tightly my knuckles turned white because I could finally have him.
When he pulled away, and kissed the corner of my eye, I knew I was fucked.
I didn’t just care about him, I wanted him. I wanted Sylus to be mine, I wanted this to be real, I wanted-
No, I couldn’t want anything.
It would never work. Our lives were too different, we were too different, everything would be doomed from the start. He was a faraway dream that would never come true. He could never be what I wanted.
I always wanted security, someone stable and safe. Sylus could never give me that.
So why do I want him so badly?
-
It was my friend's birthday party.
I had invited Sylus, because what had originally been a fake relationship to get a creep coworker off my back, spread like a wildfire to a fake relationship that was now known by all my friends.
I only invited him because I knew it would be strange if I showed up without him.
After he kissed me, and my feelings became a living hell to deal with, I started to pull back; started to psych myself out mentally, constantly spending time just trying to convince myself how bad we would be for each other. Trying to will myself to hate him again, go back to where I was two months ago. When Sylus was a nuisance, an annoying pest.
I don’t even really think he noticed. Or if he did, I couldn’t tell.
When we got to the party, the music and laughter could be heard from outside, a drastic change from the almost silent car ride. Sylus tried to make conversation, and I shut him down almost every time.
We walked in, and my friends all greeted him with easy familiarity. They gave him hugs, pats on the back, and he was welcomed effortlessly.
I stood a distance away as he laughed with my friends, and my chest began to hurt. Guilt, dread, I felt doomed. He wasn’t meant to be here, he was never meant to be here. Sylus doesn’t belong with my friends. Sylus doesn’t belong with me.
None of this is real. All of this is one little lie that spun into a web of something so much bigger, and I’m stuck in it.
He looks happy with them, happy with my friends. Happy in my space, with my people. How could he? He’s an intruder, he knows it.
I knew tonight was the night I was done. This couldn’t go on any longer. No more playing house with Sylus, no more pretending. We’re adults, and this whole thing was so childish, and it ends now.
I stepped outside, sitting on the back patio. The night air was cold, and I wasn’t sure if it was the sharp air of my distress that was making my lungs constrict.
“There you are.”
I didn’t turn around to meet the voice, just kept staring into the trees ahead.
Sylus stood beside me, running his fingers through the top of my hair. I relished the feeling, ‘one last time, it’s okay’.
He didn’t ask any questions, didn’t ask why I was out here, if I was okay. I was happy for that, it could give me another reason to be mad at him. To hate him again. To try and rile up all my old feelings, stir old bitterness.
“I want to go home.” I finally said, breaking the silence.
We got in the car, this time he didn’t try to speak. His face was hard again, the soft look long gone. I think, in a way, he knew too. He knows this is for the better.
I said goodbye, told him goodnight before he left. Told him to drive safely.
It had been two months, that’s what I gave him. It was time for it to be over anyways. I changed my wallpaper, changed his name back. I didn’t care if I had to deal with Nicholas at my job anymore, anything was better than the gutted feeling I got from every interaction with Sylus. Nothing was worth that.
The next day, it was radio silence. For the first time in two months, there was nothing. No good morning, no texts throughout the day, no calls to tell me goodnight; and that just continued. For days. Silence.
I had perfected the speech I was going to tell my coworkers, “We gave it our best, but it just wasn’t going to work out between us.” It was reassurance for them, and myself.
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