one-shots, blurbs, concepts, requests—it's an all-you-can-eat literature buffet of assorted pieces centering around, you guessed it, carmen berzatto.
beyond answers
your upstairs neighbor is a pain to deal with for several reasons. not only does he annoyingly play his violin at all hours of the day, but he's also rude and patronizing. what makes matters worse is how he soon requires your help in a case he's working on. or, in other words, the five times sherlock holmes deduced you and the one time he was wrong.
compulsion
as he tends to get, carmen berzatto is stuck. and what's the best cure for this feeling that plagues his existence? throwing himself into his work while running his business with an iron fist, no matter the fact that uncle jimmy's attractive and distracting niece has started working alongside him.
en avant
as a single dad coparenting with his frigid ex, lip gallagher is a different man compared to who he was years ago. he's sober, he has a job he hates but maintains for his two children, and one day, he decides to enroll his daughter into free ballet classes on a whim. abandoning the idea of a stable relationship occurred even before he met tami, but he can't deny there's something about his daughter's ballet instructor that pulls him in. it can't hurt getting closer to you... can it?
ivory tower
introducing the blog's masterlist surrounding lip gallagher from blurbs and concepts to one-shots. find past requests and prompts here.
l4l presents... kinktober
starring lip gallagher, kerry von erich, remy lebeau, clark kent, logan howlett, carmen berzatto, carl gallagher, matt murdock, chef luca, and bruce wayne.
when in vegas, one should always expect the unexpected. still, you aren’t prepared for what’s suddenly in your boyrfriend lip’s head. but it’s the first big milestone before the ones that follow after.
blow on my dice, baby.
it’s the last thing lip says to you at the craps table before you put your lips together and blow a streamline of air into his hand. that alone gives him confidence you’ll achieve the number you need, your belief and added luck, but he still steals a kiss from you for himself, for the illusion of good measure. then he spills the dice from his hold and listens for the thud of the cubes over the table, only slightly populated by a few strangers, and veronica and kevin.
lip’s siblings are elsewhere in the casino, no doubt causing havoc to increase their wealth, scheming as best as they can with the added inspection of nearby security. yours are tagging along with ian and mickey. you still can’t believe elliot agreed to coming to vegas considering how married he is to his job, but it’s one of those things where everything fell into its right place. everyone figured out a week in their schedules to come down to vegas for much needed, unadulterated fun. even lip’s sister fiona is here, someone you’ve finally met in person outside of saying hi to her during her facetime calls with lip, before coming here.
she mentioned something about having the privilege to have a real vacation without the stress of worrying if everyone would be okay or not. the way she talks about her siblings and acts towards them makes you realize how much lip’s like her. although everyone’s successfully navigating their lives, the older sibling syndrome hasn’t shut off.
the only one who’s not engaging in anything, under any watchful gazes anyway, is liam since he’s technically too young to play anything. that doesn’t mean he’s not guiding debbie in blackjack as subtly as possible.
you like kevin and veronica, lip’s lifelong neighbors. apparently they have kids at home in kentucky. lip’s agreed to visiting them sometime, but he told you on the side that he really doesn’t want to go to kentucky. he had anxiety leaving chicago for this trip, something you soothed him through in the leading weeks and the plane ride over. he didn’t want to be away from the kids for so long and he has this thing about being from home. chicago, and all its fucked up flaws, is his safe place, an important factor in his stability and sobriety. you told him that you both didn’t have to go, but he insisted on this being something he had to do to grow, as long as you helped him through it. and you did, because your man asked, so it was a no brainer.
after cashing out on some winnings between you and lip, which is about a profit of $5,000 (you know when to quit, but it took quite a lot of convincing for lip to leave when he’s on a streak with you), you two decide to take a walk through the night without any of your siblings around. while this trip has been fun with all your collective people, you relish in the alone time. his hand is in yours, fingers interlaced, thumb stroking back and forth as you observe the surrounding buildings and other tourists out this late. without the overcrowd, you’re able to appreciate the city for what it is. it’s alive and dazzling and yet it has its own stench like chicago has, but it’s a different kind.
the air’s dry and it has a chill. the temperature in chicago would be lower during this time of night, however, so it’s more on the warmer side to you and lip. you still tuck yourself against lip for his warmth and he chuckles as he slings an arm around you.
as you walk, an inevitable chapel greets you in the distance. vegas is lined with these spots, but this time, you see a couple barge out from the exit. they’re giggling and a few of their friends are taking pictures with them. the woman’s in a cream dress and her husband is in a nice collared shirt. it’s telling of how they all planned this out and it intrigues you because normally, at least what you’ve seen depicted in movies and tv, it’s spontaneous. a spur of the moment decision.
“congrats to the newly weds,” you say to lip from the side of your mouth.
his gaze is already on them, pausing his gait to watch from where you two are. the celebration is heartfelt, even with the limited amount of people gathered. but this is huge for the couple, giddy as they kiss and pose and throw rice into the air.
“think the chapel provided the rice?”
you shrug.
“maybe. definitely the bouquet. i saw the attendant take it back when they walked out.”
lip snorts in amusement. he stares over at them longer, lost in thought. you’re not sure what’s going on in that head of his, but you’d like to continue sight seeing. so you tug his hand and gesture with your other arm.
“let’s keep walking. we’re almost at fremont.”
but for some reason, lip continues to keep his gaze on the couple and their perceived friends and family. he scans the chapel, a small smile forming on his lips.
“don’t think they’ll annul it.”
“… me neither?” you say in confusion. you have no idea why he’s so invested in these people. lip hardly likes people in general.
“nah… i don’t think they’ll regret a thing.”
you don’t know what realm your boyfriend’s traveled to as he vaguely interprets the feelings of the couple ahead. there’s a far away look in lip’s eyes. you like to think that you know him well enough to understand what he may be doing or possibly contemplating, but this stumps you.
you gently turn his chin towards you. he follows with little resistance, his eyes back on yours.
“something wrong?”
he laughs shortly and kisses your palm.
“you always ask me that when i get quiet.”
defensiveness comes over you. you huff and furrow your eyebrows.
“you’re usually thinking too much when you get quiet.”
he lets out another hum of amusement. now that he’s not looking at the couple, he’s focused on your features. you recognize that look. it’s the one he gets when he sees you interacting with brandi and freddie, who are currently both at tami’s for the duration of this vacation. the kind when he lingers in the back of your class and you’re still in the middle of teaching. the way he looks at you when you’ve both been intimate, a longing in his intense eyes, yearning that feels like he invented.
“so what are you thinking?” you ask, recognizing the tonal shift. you tried to approach it in a humorous manner, but it’s clear there’s depth you’re not picking up on as easily.
his smile quirks, barely there, but sincere.
“marry me.”
the air leaves your lungs instantaneously. you blink rapidly at lip to try and make sense of this, if he’s joking, if this is his stupid way of attempting to make you laugh and then ultimately wave it off.
“that’s not funny,” you reply anxiously, your voice stern as you try to pull your hand away. his grip tightens a fraction to keep it in his hold.
“i’m serious.”
“no, that’s not funny, lip!” you say, louder this time like it’ll emphasize your point.
“that’s a very big commitment you’re talking about and it would change everything.”
“i know.”
“you can’t throw it around like it’s nothing, like it’s not heavy and important, because it is heavy and important to me.”
“baby, i know.”
“do you? because i don’t see marriage as something that’s… impromptu and rash and the decision you make based off a night of gambling—i’m not a gamble, lip.”
“hey, hey, i know. i know that, c’mere.”
he cups your face into his hands. it soothes the nerves rampant in your system. you didn’t notice how worked up your panic made you until he touches you with softness, tenderness, his thumbs on your cheeks grounding you to this spot here with him.
this conversation has come before. lip expressed how he was open to the idea of more kids with you in the future about seven months into dating. it led to you telling him how you wanted to be married before you had any. which then led to lip discussing with you how skewed he saw marriage as an institution, how the few successful ones he saw worked, but there were so many others that made him apprehensive towards it.
and then he started to ask what flowers you’d like at your wedding a month later. he mentioned how brandi would make a cute flower girl, freddie a dutiful ring bearer. he asked what kind of music you should play, if you two should eventually take ballroom classes. he’s been warming up to it more and more, asking questions to ian, to kevin, to brad, unbeknownst to you.
“i know i blindsided you, and i’m sorry,” he says, licking his lips between.
“but i mean it. i wouldn’t fuck around about this, especially not with you. i know it’s important to you and i know that you saw this for later down the line, but i felt it… i feel it. i want to marry you.”
him saying it again doesn’t make it any less flooring than when he first did. your knees still feel weak as you look into his eyes, oxygen not filling your body quickly enough, your heartbeat escalating like before.
“lip, i… i love you, but i… i don’t want you to do this if you think you’re going to lose me or something.”
it’s a concern that’s bubbled within you since the topic first emerged months ago. you tried to hide your disappointment when he explained how he perceived marriage, so much so that his later approaches almost felt a bit mocking. you know that’s not how he meant it, but how else are you supposed to feel when the love of your life almost subtly claims he doesn’t want to marry you and then continues to tease you with allusions of what it could be. at least, that’s how you took it, because you’re human. lip was only communicating with you how he felt on the matter and you couldn’t help but feel a sting over it. it’d be a dealbreaker for other couples, but you love lip so much, you were willing to hang on longer.
“i’m not, it’s not that,” he says with a rapid shake of his head, anything to dispel that from your mind.
“i’ve thought about it more… a lot. and yeah, i don’t want to lose you, but i also want to keep you. for the rest of my life, i want it to only be you, and i want to be the only one for you, too. i want us to share everythin’, be a family, grow our family, all of it. i’m not talkin’ out my ass,” he states with an addition of your name at the end.
it occurs to you now that lip consistently bringing around the idea of marriage stems from annihilating his fears and concerns towards it. your boyfriend didn’t mention possibilities to be cruel, but to display to you he was thinking about it more in-depth, considering it because of your wants, and preparing himself.
to lip, even before with his doubts, this was the inevitable. he was just making sure he was ready for it to be the man you needed and deserved.
“and i don’t want to leave vegas without you as my wife.”
a knot corrodes your throat, your eyes welling with tears from the moment’s intensity, from emotions overwhelming you from the inside out. you glance at the chapel and search for the couple and their friends only to find they’re already gone. in the dead of night, it’s only you and lip, and the various flashing lights of the city. it almost feels like it continues to breathe in its glamor and tawdry propaganda.
“… but i… i-i wanted—i want—an actual wedding surrounded by the people we love. gosh, the kids aren’t even here,” you utter, your tone unsteady, cracking the slightest bit.
“i know, baby, i know,” he says and gently pecks your lips a few times. you kiss him back, his scent infiltrating your nostrils.
“i’ll give you one. a big one, a small one, an expensive one, whatever you want. i’ll figure it out,” he says as he grabs your hands.
“but i want you to be mrs. gallagher before we get back to chicago. i’ll marry you fifty times over, i don’t care… we’ll do the big ceremony and the big party and the honeymoon, but please, baby, marry me here and now and i’ll be the happiest motherfucker alive.”
the tears in your eyes create a blurry mask around lip’s face, part of it glowing from the nearby chapel’s sign bathing it in magenta. his eyes almost look violet as a striking result. you’re still stunned by the night’s events, by his impromptu proposal, but it aligns with his character and who he is. while this is impulsive, he acts with his heart, with how he’s feeling, and that knowledge alerts you of how real this is. you marry him tonight and soon you’ll marry him again in white, you’ll have the dream wedding, but he’ll already be exclusively yours, and you can sort the rest out later.
when you don’t answer fast enough, lip drops to one knee in front of you. it’s the hammered, definite nail in the coffin, his deliberate squeeze of your hands leading you from your head to the present.
“i’m in love with you. i don’t think i’ve ever been more certain about anythin’ else. you’re… you’re everythin’ to me and you love my kids and they love you and i know i don’t have a ring, but i’ll get you one, and i’ll spend every wakin’ moment tryin’ to be the man you deserve.”
it’s no use. the tears you held back start to fall down your ducts, down your cheeks, but your lips can’t stop smiling. you can’t come down from how over the moon you are.
“so, please, baby… marry me. marry me and, and i’ll—”
“i’ll marry you.”
despite how lip’s the one who’s asking and pleading and convincing, literally kneeling before you, your admission rings his ears, his entirety’s first instinct to be stunned. he stares at you and searches for any sign of second thought, anything that indicates you feel otherwise.
“really?”
“yeah,” you laugh and nod, “i’ll marry you right now.”
“right now?” he asks as he stands up to his full height. his arms wrap around you and pull you flush against him.
“yes… right now.”
joy explodes, expands, overtakes lip by his last remnants of control. he secures his arms firmly around you, his mouth latches onto yours, and you melt against him, the taste of light salt on your tongues from the happy tears you can’t and don’t dare to bother and suppress. his mouth glissades with ease and it occurs to you this is the one you’re going to kiss for the rest of your life, and you know he’s going to do it just like this, this impassioned and enamored, every fucking chance he gets.
“i love you,” he murmurs against your mouth.
“i love you, too.”
he has one hand cupping your face, his thumb caressing your cheek.
“come on.”
you and lip walk together into the chapel with surprisingly eager steps. now that you’re on the same page, it’s the only option that makes sense. the most logical and coherent.
you speak to the attendant and she explains the process you’re about to embark on. there’s paperwork, discussion of the officiant, possible witnesses that you and lip consider.
it’s when you’re holding hands together, waiting on a bench outside for them to get everything ready, that ian calls lip. lip looks down, his leg bouncing, his hand over yours in your lap. and he answers the call with his free one.
“yeah?”
“yo, where you guys at? debbie almost got us kicked out and carl’s shitfaced.”
“no, she did get us kicked out. they said either we get escorted by security or we leave,” fiona’s voice chimes from nearby. ian must have the call on speaker.
“my sister with you?” anna asks. lip smiles softly, able to recognize her voice.
“mhm, she’s here.”
lip squeezes your hand. you lean against him and listen to the call from there. you understand why he doesn’t want to put it on speaker. the night is nice and quiet and electric, and the voices of your siblings may disrupt that peace.
“so where are you?” ian repeats and redirects the conversation.
lip swallows the anticipation and nerves building in his throat. he glances at you and smiles, the step you’re about to take one of the most pivotal points of your relationship. you look beautiful where your head’s tucked on his shoulder, fluttering lashes at him that he feels his heart skip a few beats for. how abysmally cheesy, but how fucking wonderful it is to have someone who could render him helpless and powerful all in one, vulnerable and uplifted, weak and strong.
“we’re…”
he pauses, unsure if he should tell the truth or not. according to the plan, they can all come to the next wedding you and lip will eventually have, but it doesn’t feel right to leave them on the outside when everything feels special about tonight. everyone managed to get here to vegas, people you and lip care for, and while you two will do your best to find a date to recreate attendance as well as for others, like tami and his kids and friends and more of your family, you don’t want strangers to be your witnesses. he won money tonight, with lady luck by his side, and you both stumbled upon a happy couple emerging at the right moment. it feels aligned. red stringed. one coincidence after the other.
but while lip thinks all of this, what gets him to talk again is the nod of your head. the subtle go ahead because you want everyone here and your mind’s mulling it like lip’s is.
“we’re at a wedding chapel… we’re gettin’ married.”
“what? married?” ian croaks in disbelief.
“give me that! gimme!” debbie says, the phone picking up a bit of feedback from where they’re likely passing it around. or somewhat fighting for it.
“what do you mean married? are you serious?”
“yep. we’re waitin’ for them to clean up,” lip says. he wonders if they can hear the smile in his voice.
“where?” fiona asks. she sounds closer now. he pictures them huddling around the phone.
“i’ll send ian the location and—”
“hurry up. we’re on our way,” she says definitively.
you sit up without creating distance between you and lip. it feels more real knowing that both of your family will be here soon. it’s a good thing you two didn’t walk very far to locate this chapel. they’re everywhere in vegas.
soon, his siblings are here, your siblings are here, kevin and veronica are here. you and lip are hugging one after the other, congratulations spewed, tears in your sister’s eyes, her and elliot asking if this is what you want before they’re gathering you up in a group embrace and pre-celebrating. they tell lip to take care of you and he proclaims he will with the utmost sincerity.
the gallaghers joke about you becoming their sister-in-law. fiona, for example, says she just met you not too long ago and you’re already part of the family. your interactions with her are only low because of how she lives outside of chicago. you’ve met her a few times before this.
carl congratulates you and gives you a hug longer than necessary because he’s swaying. debbie tells you to hit her up if it doesn’t work out, to which lip glares at her for. ian and mickey make their promises to be there for you if you need anything. liam welcomes you in, but explains how you’ve already been part of their family for a while now.
kevin and veronica remind you and lip to keep things alive and to call if you need tips.
but what can feel more alive than waking up to a regular vegas day and then going to sleep married in your hotel room at night?
the officiant makes the next part rather simple. you both repeat after her, holding each other’s hands, lip’s having a gentle tremble. it’s thankfully not out of fear, but it’d be crazy if neither you and lip had some kind of nerves. you’re about to leap into something a lot different than either of you have experienced. but at least you’re doing it together.
“it’s you and me, baby,” lip whispers to you as the officiant speaks. you smile at him, clutching a bouquet provided by the chapel in the other hand.
but it winds up falling from your grasp since you need both arms to wrap around lip’s neck as he decides to dip you post i do.
lip’s been working so hard lately.
either he’s studying or he’s improving his sales at his computer job. he sits in front of the screen for a long period of time, but he’s putting in the work to finish his degree. it’s closer and closer to where he needs to be, and not at the expense of neglecting you and the kids.
but fuck, he’s tired.
you lie with him at the end of sunday night after a day of preparing the kids for school tomorrow. they’re not in bed yet, but lip plops himself onto you, not paying attention to much else besides his head in your chest, his lips brushing your upper breast. it’s not out of lust, but pure exhaustion. he’s already dozing atop of you.
“still need to tuck the kids in,” you gently say. your hand slides through his hair, currently being grown out, due for a haircut sometime soon. before you break out the sheers and his shaver, you’re enjoying this look on him.
it makes him look younger. like photos he’s shown you from college, the period before he became a dad.
“i’m so sleepy,” he mumbles, voice vibrating on your flesh.
“you got it?”
you chuckle to yourself. the sound buzzes on his head and creates a smile you feel broaden on your chest.
“i can do it, but you have to let me go.”
he groans at that option. his arms tighten around you, snuggling further against you. in turn, he further entraps you beneath him.
“they can’t tuck each other in?”
“don’t let bam hear that you don’t want to tuck her in.”
he grumbles a little. he turns his head, his chin near your sternum as he looks up at you. the strain in his eyes is evident through a slight pink tint behind his captivating blues. you push some strands away from his visage.
“you’re s’posed to be on my side.”
“says who?” you tease.
“our vows.”
he kisses up your chest, lingering to lavish your collarbone with pecks.
“pretty sure i said i’d honor your kids in those,” you remind him softly.
he pauses what he’s doing, his eyes shifting to meet yours again. without saying it, the look conveys his silent scolding. you realize your mistake; he’s been getting onto you more and more recently about that.
“our kids,” you correct.
lip’s lazy smile returns. he resumes his kisses, planting them in random spots up your neck.
“you know i would, baby. but i’m so tired. can barely keep my eyes open.”
“and what are you going to do when we have another set of feet running around?”
“stock up on red bulls.”
your laugh half makes it out. the rest of it winds up smothered as lip’s mouth descends upon yours. although his exhaustion is tangible, he doesn’t half ass kissing you. he never has and you’re certain he never will.
“don’t know if our fridge has much room,” you mutter between those moments where your mouths slide apart, the interludes for air.
“i’ll make room.”
“give her back, fred!”
“then give me my ball!”
you and lip break away with simultaneous sighs. you both heard freddie and brandi, can still hear them arguing back and forth. they usually get along well, but they both are less agreeable around this time of night, a signal they’re ready for bed.
“i’ll take care of it. try not to fall asleep.”
you pat lip’s arms to release you. although he doesn’t want to, he reluctantly lets go and shifts to his side so you can get up. his eyes follow you as you walk out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
he musses up his hair a few times as he stares at the ceiling. he shouldn’t fall asleep, not when he knows he should help you tuck the kids in once you resolve this spat between them. they’re bickering more as they’re getting older. while time has definitely been kind to him, he’s not enthused at the prospect of his kids needing him less and less.
but he’ll be there when they do. so he needs to get up and stay awake just a bit longer so he can join you in tucking them in. freddie will soon be at an age where he’ll refuse it. then brandi shortly after.
he yawns as he subtracts himself from bed and pads like a zombie to the bathroom. to spark some life back into him, he decides to brush his teeth. he grabs his toothbrush and… and then he searches for the toothpaste which isn’t lying around or in the cabinet.
curiously, he walks to the bathroom closet and opens it. maybe you put away an extra tube somewhere and he doesn’t have to make a stop at the store tomorrow.
but as he does, he notices something vibrant sticking out from under the towels. his eyebrow raises, lifting the tin material out. as he unfolds it, he recognizes the shape, silvery and full of gold and pastel colored stars. at the center of the balloon reads hello, baby.
he pauses as he reads the simple, cursive words a few more times. there’s another balloon just like it, strings of ribbon coming off them. it pulls more of his attention, wakens him up, now scanning the closet for more evidence of what’s currently springing around his head. below the shelves on the closet floor is a canister of helium tucked away. he probably would’ve missed it if he hadn’t found the balloons.
then lip checks behind the towels, now unable to stop himself, and there’s a small box with a bow sitting atop of it. seeing as he’s gotten this far, he opens it, letting out a breath of relief, one that confirms his thoughts, his eyes welling.
inside is a white onesie, lettering across the front of it, “coming soon.” he sees the tiny beige booties and then the paper tissue beneath. he sets the box down on the bathroom counter and finds the pregnancy test at the very bottom. it’s in a plastic bag, the top of it capped pink, the two lines that have him realizing just how real this is.
“there you are!” you huff as you enter the doorway.
“i got the kids to say sorry to each other and now they’re waiting on us.”
you point with your thumb vaguely behind you. lip looks up with barely contained emotion on his features, his smile broad. you look from his face to the open box, the balloons he has laid out on the counter, the pregnancy test in his hands.
“fuck, you weren’t supposed to see that yet!”
he says nothing as he laughs. it’s more so out of disbelief, setting the test back into the box as he slowly approaches.
“i’m so sorry, baby,” he says softly.
“so, so sorry… but… you’re… it’s for real?”
you flutter your lashes a few times. he may have ruined your surprise, but you’re still able to see his raw reaction. it appears as if he only just discovered all of this. the only part you missed was his face upon seeing the onesie. but you see him now and he’s tinged pink, his eyes glassy, most likely that way from the current influx of shock and undeniable joy.
“… yeah… i’m pregnant.”
he releases another breath of air, crossing the short distance in a stride towards you. his arms engulf you and for a moment, you don’t feel the floor underneath your feet. he lifts you in a bear hug and you embrace him back, overwhelmed by him finding out early, by how he’s squeezing you like you’re everything and more.
he eventually sets you onto the counter, making his home between your legs (which is the kind of behavior that got you here), and he presses kiss after kiss over your face. you giggle at the sporadic affection, a sound he muffles with his mouth. you feel his smile in full force as he kisses you, moisture you’re not sure is coming from his eyes or yours.
“i love you… god, i love you,” he mumbles. he doesn’t bother to separate much from your mouth. it elicits another laugh from you.
“i take it you’re happy?”
he properly looks at you and raises his eyebrows.
“thrilled,” he corrects you softly.
“no wonder you said the fridge didn’t have any room. i was like, ‘why would we need to worry about that now?’”
you shake your head in amusement as lip wipes your tears with his thumbs. you return the favor, but your hands stay on his face.
“i was going to set everything up tomorrow before you got back from dropping the kids off at school.”
he sighs. he’s apologetic, but he can’t rid of the stupid grin on his lips.
“sorry again,” he murmurs.
“it’s okay.”
you’re a bit bummed he stumbled upon your announcement before you could make it yourself, but you’re much happier knowing that he knows.
“when’d you find out?” he tenderly strokes the outside of your thighs. you have no idea how much touchier he’s about to get.
“a few days ago. noticed i was late and remember how i was feeling nauseous?”
he nods. he picked you up over-the-counter medicine and laid with you during his breaks from the computer. he convinced you to call your dance classes off since you were sick, something you didn’t want to do, but lip gallagher has a persuasive tongue.
“i took a test, went a little crazy in here by myself, and then took another one to make sure. positive each time.”
he chuckles at the revelation.
“did you tell your sister?”
he knows you too well. that was actually your first initial instinct, but you decided against it.
“no. wanted you to know first. i mean, i was going to send her and elliot a video of you finding out, but can’t do that anymore.”
he sheepishly sneaks himself another kiss, touched by your prioritization, and the decision to make him the first of everyone. it is his baby after all, but he appreciates how special you… tried to make it for him.
since you still have those balloons, he can help you set them up. he might get a little flack from debbie and carl, but you two can still film a video announcement and send it off to your siblings and his as well as others like brad and veronica and kevin. he’ll have to tell tami face to face.
“not my fault we’re out of toothpaste,” he mutters in mock defense of himself.
“that why you were snooping?”
he playfully scoffs.
“it’s my house.”
“our house.”
he closes his mouth once he realizes you’ve turned it around on him. he can’t even argue because honestly, that’s exactly what he wants to hear. this is your guys’ house, and he couldn’t be happier.
lip intends to kiss you again, but he has to create some separation from your body as freddie pushes the door open. brandi is right next to him, a teddy bear hanging from her hand. they’re both in pajamas, ready for bed, and lip marvels over it and your ability to wrangle them so easily. you’re going to be a great mother. not that he doubted that whatsoever since technically you already are.
“did you forget about us?” freddie asks with furrowed brows.
“we’ve been waiting forever!” brandi exclaims.
they really were not waiting forever. it must’ve felt that way though since you told them to put their pjs on and that you and lip would be over to tuck them in.
“sorry,” you say to the kids softly.
“she was tellin’ me some good news,” lip adds.
he can’t hold it back. not from his kids. they were very grumpy when you and lip first came back married from vegas for about twenty minutes, but it quickly morphed into elation since it meant you were now officially part of their family.
they forgave you two at the actual wedding not too long ago for it, gleeful for their designated roles and participation.
lip looks at you, however, as if asking for silent permission. you rub the side of your face, not having to hear him say it. no, your mind is there, too. and it’s in agreement.
you nod subtly, nerves in your chest as the kids look back and forth between you and lip.
“what good news?” freddie asks.
“… your mom’s pregnant,” lip says, gesturing his head to you. although they’ve started to call you that for the past six months, it’s jarring to hear every time.
even with tami’s acceptance, which came so long as the kids know you’re their step mom. no one’s replacing tami. and you, nor lip, are cruel to try.
the kids gasp in shock as they look at you in surprise. you slide off the counter, fidgeting a bit with your hands. no matter all the love between you, being centerfold like this makes you nervous. you don’t know how they’re going to react. you didn’t know how lip would despite how long he’s asked for a baby, for when you could start trying.
relief hits you hard as they scream in mirth and then run straight to you. you kneel to the floor and hug them both. then lip’s there with all of you, attempting to wrap his arms around his little family.
“you’re going to have a baby?! really?” brandi asks.
“mhm. and you and fred are going to get another sibling.”
“a brother?” freddie interjects.
brandi huffs at him.
“no, a sister!”
before they can start arguing, lip rubs their backs and laughs.
“we don’t get to decide that. so we’ll see when they get here and once they’re here, we’ll love them no matter what. right?”
although the kids groan a little, they nod their heads.
“we knooow,” freddie says. you know lip’s just making sure there aren’t any ill feelings. you’ll all figure out how to make this work.
“when’s the baby coming?” brandi asks.
you shrug your shoulders.
“i don’t know. i’m going to schedule an appointment at the doctor’s so i can find out soon.”
“we,” lip corrects.
there he goes again. it’s a game at this point. of course he’ll be there for the appointment, for every appointment. you can’t exactly guess how long from now since it could’ve been a number of times… you and lip weren’t exactly careful, even less so after your wedding.
“we,” you say with emphasis as you look at lip and then back at brandi, “will find out soon.”
“okay! and you’ll tell us?” freddie asks with bright eyes. his father’s. you wonder if your baby will have lip’s eyes.
“absolutely. we’re a family.”
the kids stay up later, too excited after the news about the baby. they linger in your bedroom with lip as you discuss nursery ideas, what to stock up on, when you need to start perusing new houses since this one is about to feel a lot smaller.
eventually, freddie and brandi fall asleep. they’re in spots between you and lip, tuckered out, and you don’t have it in you to pick them up and take them to their rooms. lip’s also passed out, something you saw as only a matter of time since he was incredibly tired. you cast your gaze across the three of them, thinking about how you got here, how jarring it is, and yet it feels so right. you couldn’t think about being anywhere else. everything fell into where it was supposed to.
with your husband, your kids, and the one currently growing in your belly.
inhaling a deep breath, lip blows it out through his mouth, staring forward at his reflection. he takes in his recent haircut, the hanging, undone tie around his neck, the collar flush to his skin. he’s comfortable, and he looks good, you told him he did and he believes just about anything you say. these nerves in him contrast his appreciation of his current appearance. it’s foreign. after all this time, he’s still getting used to things being celebrated, to the feeling of accomplishment alongside his innate doubt and fear.
“hey, still not ready? do i have to help you, too?”
lip turns his head. a small smile springs onto his lips, easily, instantly, not that he was resisting it. you’ve returned from wrangling the kids into their formal clothes. you, yourself, are in a longer dress, your round belly filling it out, in lip’s eyes, perfectly.
“yeah, i’ll take some help.”
you hum in amusement and step closer to him. your hands claim both sides of his tie, beginning to fix its position on his neck first. his palms wind up on your stomach, thumbs stroking, soft kicks greeting him, which he still can’t get over.
“you’re a lot better at this than i am,” you say. he admires the short line between your eyebrows as you concentrate.
“maybe, but i like how you do it.”
you playfully glance up at him, a knowing grin on your mouth. it’s not exactly that lip likes your version of tying a tie more than his own, but that he enjoys you fussing over him and offering your attention.
reverting your eyes back to his tie, you carefully start to fold and loop.
“thinking?”
right on the money. he is thinking. of course you can tell. you read each other like nobody else.
“mhm… wonderin’ if somethin’ll happen before i get it.”
you flick your gaze up to him again and then refocus on his tie.
“your degree?”
“yeah.”
you push the knot up his tie until it’s snug, but not choking him. then you tuck the tail end into the pocket behind the larger portion.
you cup his face, warmth he needs and thrives off spreading over his cheeks. he rubs your belly softly, bringing himself towards his picture-perfect reality.
“nothing will. you’re going to get your degree whether we celebrate tonight or not.”
“i know.”
he’s just so close. in his past experiences, that progress usually shatters before he’s about to approach his goal. good things come with time limits and expiration dates. he’s not superstitious, but going through with tonight spurs a fear that it’ll jinx him. all his hard work will drain out and he will lose one thing after another.
“but… that’s not all i’m thinkin’ about.”
“no? what else are you thinking?”
he examines the look of concern on your beautiful face. you’re preparing to comfort and redirect his train of thought. lip’s familiar with this expression. he appreciates it when he spirals, that you’ll be there to uplift him again, like what he does for you. he’s been more on that side of things these days since your pregnancy hormones are no joke. one second he’s rocking you and kissing your tears and the next he’s smiling as you giggle with an acquired craving.
but that compassionate look isn’t necessary right now. because while lip is thinking about worst case scenarios, there are other things floating around his head.
“thinkin’ what i’m goin’ to do with my degree… gettin’ a new job, sellin’ the house, buyin’ a new one, makin’ room for her.”
your countenance softens as he explains himself. his eyes dart down to your stomach, your baby girl to arrive relatively soon. it’ll change so much, but not the care and love you have for each other and for your family.
“a whole house for one baby?” you slyly ask. you already know where his head is and he confirms it with a sheepish grin.
“or two… three…”
you laugh as he kisses your neck. you’ve both discussed this well enough. you need a place big enough for the incoming baby, freddie and brandi, and should you and lip decide that you want to expand further.
“we’ll see,” you say as you pet through his short hair.
“we will.”
he continues to trail your neck, occupies his mouth against your flesh, ignites ticklish nerve endings from there down your spine. goosebumps form on your skin, forever affected by the small things lip does. he still can hardly keep his hands off you. you’re astonished how he’s managed to meet just about every need you’ve had pregnant. sure, you have your tiffs, but he tends to fold the second he feels tears are coming.
“stop,” you playfully scold and swat his arm, “or you’re going to convince me to stay.”
lip hides his smirk against your neck. in the meantime, the hot breath from his nostrils ghosts your skin.
this celebration dinner was your idea after all. the kids will be out on vacation with tami within a week so you thought it better to celebrate early rather than later. debbie and carl won’t be attending, but ian, mickey, and liam will. it took some persuading on your part to get lip to begrudgingly agree. he didn’t seem too keen on the spotlight being on him for that long.
except, lip has all the power right now. pregnancy has made you particularly sensitive to stimulation of any kind. sometimes those crying sessions end with food or his head between your legs, his digits inside of you, or him praising you as he guides your hips over him. you’ve found he’s a patient and attentive lover during the duration of your pregnancy thus far. if he wants to, he can derail your plans and spend the night wrapped up in his personal slice of heaven.
but you’ll inevitably pout tomorrow if he takes that route. you’ll reschedule. he won’t truly be free of his celebration dinner. either it happens tonight or at a later date.
so while he greatly considers taking the risk, and because he’d rather be lost in the throes of passion with you than anything else, he uses vast willpower to step back and sigh in mock defeat. it’s very dramatic how he groans at his own decision, smiling gently as he hears your laugh.
“can’t ditch, need to eat… ‘less you’re offerin’ yourself up?”
it earns another mild smack to his arm, as he surmised it would. he chuckles and kisses you.
“was worth a shot.”
you mostly expected to enter the bedroom and talk to lip about attending tonight’s dinner again. he’s expressed his thoughts and concerns, his fears and misgivings, and each time, you’ve coaxed him back into believing that things will be okay. you understand where he’s coming from. changes are hard on everyone, especially those they’ve been unkind to. it’s a layer of protectiveness he has ingrained within himself.
but right now, in this moment, although he’s having those heavy thoughts, he’s not panicking or running high on emotions. it takes a while these days for him to get to that point. it’s something he’s actively working on.
“so you’re good?” you ask softly. you still want to check in on him and how he’s doing.
“… you know what? yeah… i’m good. i’m ready.”
he leans forward and kisses you tenderly, one hand under your chin, the other on your stomach.
while it is true that his brain is conjuring the worst things that can happen, it’s also doing something else. he’s thinking about how everything can go wrong, but he’s also thinking about everything that can go right. for so long, he didn’t let himself dare to think too much about the best things that could happen to and for him.
and then you came into his life. he figures if he has the best thing already, it won’t hurt to hope and predict how things will continue to go up. you may have had something to do with that.
“ready to eat, honey? goin’ to make sure your mom gives you the best stuff,” lip coos as he bends towards your stomach. it’s the cutest thing to you; he’s spent a lot of your pregnancy talking to your belly, from rambling about work, to complaining about customers, and narrating stories about his family and from available children’s books.
“don’t know if dinner rolls and cake are what’s good for her,” you muse. he glances up at you with a crooked grin before he refocuses and spreads soft kisses over the expanse of your stomach.
“if they’re good for you, they’re good for her. whatever you want.”
he stands back up to his full height and envelopes your hand in his. you could cry over how sweet he’s being. tonight will definitely be a good night.
“let’s get the kids in the car.”
lip follows your lead out of the room and the two of you are treated to the sight of brandi and freddie watching television. she’s in a pale yellow dress and freddie has a blue button up.
“what happened to your tie?” lip asks with a furrowed brow.
“i didn’t want to wear it,” freddie mumbles with a shake of his head.
“mom said i didn’t have to.”
lip looks at you as you help brandi from the couch. she hops off and giggles at the interaction, looking at lip’s expression of betrayal and yours in sheepishness.
“all spoiled, i swear,” lip murmurs. he gestures to the door.
“let’s go. best behavior tonight, please.”
lip helps you into the passenger seat. you initially try to get in without him, but the extra baby weight has made things a lot more difficult for your equilibrium and strength. so he stands by as you awkwardly try to get in for a minute and then wordlessly approaches and offers aid. you know he just gets a kick out of this, you needing him for almost everything these days. he has plenty excuses to touch you and be near you.
you both make sure the kids are buckled up before he gets into the driver’s seat and pulls out of the driveway. then you’re soon playing songs at the kids’ and lip’s requests. the kids interrupt of course, talking about how excited they are for vacation, the baby, what they have on their bucket lists after hearing their aunt fiona talk about having one last christmas.
brandi wants to eat twenty ice cream sandwiches in one night. to which sparked a craving in you and you pouted at lip until he agreed to buy some tomorrow morning or after dinner depending how it late it is. his own sweet tooth may have further persuaded him without saying.
freddie claims he needs to go to space at some point. he still hasn’t let go of that dream that lip thought he’d outgrow a while back now. and you’re hoping fred has more sense when he’s older because he was talking about you coming with him like you previously discussed. you’re all for his big dreams, but you’d rather stay on earth, thank you.
at the restaurant, you all arrive for your reservation of seven. ian and mickey are a few minutes late, but liam is right on time. they groan alongside lip as you make them scooch in together for a picture. but it’s quite a downside to you that carl isn’t here to complete the brother portrait.
you sit next to lip, freddie at your side, brandi at his, liam at hers, ian at freddie’s, and mickey at his. there’s mini conversations after you all order your drinks. you talk with freddie and ian about school and ian’s neighbors, the possibility of him and mickey considering a kid, something that isn’t new, but they’ve been lingering on the topic a lot more these days. mickey chats with liam and brandi, how she’s going to take lots of pictures using the polaroid camera liam got her while on vacation, how liam’s enjoying college, how mickey is thinking about finding a new job that will use him for more of his skills other than driving, packing, delivering, unpacking, and intimidating.
“daddy, what’s inti… inti… inti-ma-mating mean?”
lip sighs fondly in brandi’s direction. she has spaghetti sauce on her cheek that he wipes first with a napkin.
“somethin’ mickey does at work to scare people. you think uncle mickey’s scary?” he says in a low tone.
she glances over at mickey. he’s in the middle of trying to shove as much garlic bread into his mouth as he can as ian makes an annoyed expression beside him. brandi giggles and turns back to lip.
“no way! uncle mickey’s not scary, daddy!”
lip smiles and nods. it’s flooring how far mickey’s come in his own right. there used to be a time when mickey’s presence meant trouble for everyone. but so much has changed. so, so much.
he reflects on this as he looks over the table amid the eating and the random conversations his family engages in. fiona, debbie, and carl might not be here, but they’re busy with things they’ve made for themselves. fiona texted him a congratulations first thing this morning and when she’s coming down next. debbie’s spending time with her new girlfriend, but promised a play date soon with franny and the kids even though his niece is starting to get to the age where almost everything is lame. carl has patrols to do, but he’s arriving tomorrow for breakfast to see lip and the kids before they’re off for vacation.
lip’s proud of ian for the support groups he’s running and mickey for taking such good care of his brother. and liam? the strides he’s making in college? taking full advantage of the scholarships he’s been granted and excelling like everyone knew he would and knows he will continue to do? it’s astonishing. lip only sees great things for liam.
he’s going to miss the hell out of his kids. they’ll only be gone two weeks, but he always feels lost without seeing them longer than one. by then, he’ll have his degree, and he wishes he can fast forward to that moment to have them back in his arms again.
but there’s an upside to them being away. and that’s having you all to himself. he’ll fawn over you as he’s done your entire pregnancy thus far, and even before, and you two will spend the quality time you crave together. you’re someone he never thought he’d have. while he would rather his kids stay here with him, he’s looking forward to the alone time with you. sleeping in, cuddling, dates, sex, walks you insist on despite how pregnant you are. he’ll grumble as he fits compression socks onto your feet for you, slip your comfort shoes in place, and bundle you up so you’re not too cold. truthfully, he enjoys these long walks. he just wants you to be as relaxed as possible. he prefers you lying down like a dream, head on his shoulder while you eat fruit and he rubs your stomach.
noticing his far away expression, you turn to look at him, glowing.
“you okay?”
he takes a glance over the table again, feeling a number of emotions churning throughout him. among it all, he senses that quiet ache, the idea that he can’t misstep if he wants to keep everything in front of him, because things can change at any moment and the survivor in him is cautious of so called “stability.”
but as time goes on, it’s fading. more distant. not a buried trauma, but a mere, accepted memory. an acquaintance of the past rather than the mortal enemy he used to regard it as.
so this… this moment, surrounded by people he loves, all of them celebrating him and his accomplishment he used to doubt would ever come into fruition, he sees it beyond the pessimistic perspective he used to rely on.
“yeah,” he mumbles as he turns to look at you.
you’re so beautiful. all his.
“yeah… i’m good. thank you for this.”
he takes your hand and kisses the back of it, lingering a few seconds with his lips pressed against your flesh. you smile at him, squeezing his hand once he lowers yours.
“okay, pretty girl, put those eyes away. you’re hoggin’ all of mommy’s attention.”
“don’t tell me you’re jealous of a four month old.”
“no… but it’s like she knows how cute she is.”
as if on cue, celine gurgles from her carriage. she hums the coo of a dove, her tiny covered feet kicking back and forth. both you and lip look at her and her bright eyes, the gentle sounds seemingly plucking the strings of some nearby invisible harp. her cherubic face is too damn cute.
“see? she’s weaponizin’ it. needs everyone’s focus at every second of the day. right, baby? want us fallin’ over how sweet you are?”
his voice lowers in volume, a particular gentle quality to it, his hand migrates to her chest, and his fingers tickle her soft skin with little taps. she gurgles a breathy laugh, mimicking your wide smiles. toothless and gummy, but happy and adorable. just as much as the attention thief as lip claims.
“hey, now you’re stealing your daddy’s attention from me,” you playfully quip. lip grins and looks up at you, retrieving his hand back from your daughter.
“can’t help it. she looks just like you.”
you pause for a moment. for some reason, despite how often it happens, lip’s casual flirting catches you off guard. he hasn’t lost that skill of his that triggers an ambush of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. so infuriatingly charming.
“relax. we’re already married.”
lip chuckles at your response. it’s not like either of you will honor that. you’ll continue to flirt no matter the title your relationship holds. and even if you’re teasing, you flash him a smile. a sly one, a sultry one. the kind that warns him he’s going to get lucky soon (once celine actually falls asleep and you two have a short window of time).
“how are we doing over here? need anything else? refills?”
“no, thank you. can we get the ch—”
“could use some slices of pie,” lip chimes in.
you realize you almost forgot what you two were doing here in the first place. of course lip wants his pie. it’s become tradition.
“right, right. what is it now? eight or nine years married?”
do you feel guilty that susan, the waitress from one of the diners you and lip frequent, still thinks you two have been married that long when in reality, you’ll be going on two years this year? somewhat. you don’t have the heart to tell her the truth, that you and lip have deceived her, and others, for free dessert.
it’s a staple of your relationship. the first time you and lip went out anywhere together, you scored him the free pie, he overshared, and you displayed to him that he could tell you anything without you judging him too harshly. he’s not his past. he’s the man in front of you, the family kind, a good father, and you love him, as he loves you. growth can feel slow at times, but it’s satisfying to look back and see how far you’ve really crossed.
and he’s miles from where you two started.
“… m’eight years sober,” lip says, surprising you and susan.
you blink at lip, schooling your face to keep the shock off of it. while that is the reason you two are here today, it’s usually something lip avoids discussing with people outside of his family. he veils it and its possible repercussions and incoming judgments.
but lip smiles at you softly. it conveys that things are okay, that this is his choice, that… he’s proud of how far he’s come and he wants to celebrate today honestly and transparently.
“oh, well… congratulations. i’ll get you two that pie,” susan says after a momentary pause. she shuffles awkwardly away. she clearly didn’t want to be rude.
“we probably won’t get that free now,” lip murmurs. his smile broadens as you laugh.
he’s unbelievable. still astonishing. you could cry over what this means. you probably will later when you two are in private and you inevitably reiterate how proud you are of him.
“that’s okay. it’s on me,” you reassure.
“and then i get the rest of the check?”
you sheepishly hide your smirk as you glance at celine. you rock her carriage, busying yourself from his knowing stare. it’s hard to treat each other when mostly everything has become the both of yours.
but lip doesn’t care. he’s too excited for his pie and to give celine her first taste of the decadent filling.
“where are we?”
“grab cece and follow me.”
you huff in suspicion as you click your seatbelt off and get out of the car. you extract celine from her carseat and lip shuts the door gently behind you.
you’re not sure where you and lip are. he drove you here, a few buildings in the area, traffic light, but continuous. you were positive you two were going home after lunch at the diner together, but it seems he has other plans he didn’t discuss with you.
“what are we doing?” you ask, trying to get an answer despite how he wouldn’t budge on the way here once you realized it wasn’t the route to the house.
“shh, come on.”
you grumble and adjust celine. she babbles her noises as you walk into the building with lip. he doesn’t bother with the switch, and given the state of open space, it doesn’t look like any electricity is running through it. there’s scuff marks on the floor, but it’s wide, and the walls appear to have some dust. you hope celine won’t get any in her little nose.
lip puts his arms out. he gestures to the general room.
“what do you think?”
your confusion further manifests as you look at lip. you even turn your head to see if celine understands anything, but as surmised, she’s glancing around, taking in her surroundings with the wonder she looks at everything with, with her big, curious, delicate eyes.
“what do i think? about what?”
he grins at your endearing bewilderment. he should’ve anticipated you wouldn’t get it off a look alone, but he’s far too elated himself at the prospect before you two.
he steps closer, hope on his features, a soft expression he adorns. his hands take your hips, his smile growing as celine gurgles happily with his proximity.
“… your new studio,” he whispers.
your head tilts in surprise as you look at him. you’re still incredibly confused by the prospect and what he means. this is an empty place. it’s… it has a lot more room than the rec center does, but you can’t comprehend the idea he’s proposing.
but still, lip persists. he does so with strokes of his thumbs on your hips, something cheeky in his eyes, sparkling too. the same twinkle you see in celine’s. she reflects his wide grin like a mirror.
“what do you think of your new dance studio?” he asks, leaving no room for misinterpretation. he really means it.
this place… he thinks it’s yours. with so much conviction that you’re afraid he might’ve already done something impulsive without talking to you first.
“well, take a look around. go ahead.”
he reaches for celine and plucks her from your arms. in the process, he kisses her on her forehead, then lifts her up to kiss her on her tummy, her tiny giggles breaking through your stunned demeanor. he settles her into his arms, softly swaying to keep her entertained.
quietly, you walk past her and lip and look around at the scene. whoever owned this previously, or currently because you don’t believe lip did something so rash without a heads up or indication, took very good care of the area. the floor is sturdy, in need of some scrubbing, but you already picture yourself able to land gracefully without trouble against your better judgement. you imagine brandi running across with all of her never ending energy and freddie stretching with lip when they’re all waiting up for you. the walls may be bare and barren, but they’d do nicely with floor to ceiling mirrors. the potential is there. a blank canvas for you to play with.
shit… you’re already envisioning and feeding into lip’s suggestion. you don’t want to jump the gun, but it’s hard not to imagine all the ways you can transform the space now that lip’s planted this into your head.
“m’thinkin’ we can build a stage. debs will help map out the construction and then with the actual project,” he explains. you turn to look at him, still trying to wrap your mind around the idea.
“there’s like two back rooms and some restrooms. could use ‘em for storage or for meetings… or a backstage area before the recitals. there’s room to work with. whatever you want.”
whatever you want. you don’t know how you’re supposed to respond to that. while you want to leap for joy, you also have to inhale a deep breath and be realistic for a second. which is funny, because that’s usually more of lip’s area, pulling you down from the clouds when you’re overzealous.
“and how are we supposed to afford all of this?” you ask cautiously. you don’t want to hurt his feelings when this is such a thoughtful gesture. yet, you’re also unsure how this will be in the budget when you two are supposed to be house hunting.
but he still looks enthused as he fixes celine’s shirt and then looks back at you.
“fiona made an investment for me and bought it. so, technically, it’s hers and we gotta pay her back in payments, but i know it’ll be easy with how much your students love you, and she said not to worry too much about doin’ it all at once.”
you stare at lip and as you do, it hits you just how much he’s considered behind your back. he found it, talked about it with his sisters, and it didn’t come at the expense of the money you two are saving for your future.
“don’t stress, alright? we’ll pay her back and i’m pretty sure i’m gettin’ a new job soon. this hot chick i know told me she can feel it.”
normally, with an obvious comment of lip referring to you, you’d playfully roll your eyes. but instead, as you stare at him and his smirking face, your lips quiver as you try to hold back your smile. you told him that after he complained about sending so many job applications out with no response the other day. it seems to have comforted him more than you originally thought.
if he can think negatively, he can think positively. he actively chooses more of the latter these days.
“what?” he asks as you stare at him.
you’re too in awe, too gracious. for the man he is, for the man he’s become, for how he’s yours. holding your daughter that he had a hand in giving you while standing in a new to-be-dance studio he acquired for you to continue in your career you’re still severely passionate about. eight years of sobriety, chain-smoking, shit talking, shamelessly himself—your husband who you love, who loves you, looking forward with chosen optimism.
“i love you. thank you for… everything,” you mutter, feeling tears spring to your eyes.
“of course, i love you, too… please don’t cry, baby, you’re gonna get cece goin’.”
you enter lip’s embrace and hide your face into his neck for that reason. you don’t want to make celine cry, but the happy tears are coming full force. he rubs your back soothingly with his free hand, adjusting celine so he can hold you both at the same time.
“you’re going to build me a stage?” you ask in a muffled voice. you smile wide as his chuckle vibrates against your body.
“mhm… for all your little nightmares to prance around on.”
you laugh softly. you know damn well he cares about your students considering how involved he’s been throughout the years. and not just because of brandi.
“and we’re still going to see that house i told you about near ian’s?” you ask hopefully.
he nods.
“yeah. we need more room, don’t we?”
you most definitely do. that dream is still bright and alive.
a forever house with multiple rooms for you, lip, celine, brandi, and freddie.
… and the set of twin boys you’re currently carrying that neither of you have any idea about yet. it’s too early to tell.
Okay, I'm writing this quickly because my head is killing me (wow, how rare; I'm always sick). My lovely I4I is leaving her blog to pursue her dreams and do all this amazing, creative work for herself, which I'm so happy and emotional about because her blog and especially this series means so much to me.
I'll try to make this short but honest. It'll probably be my usual word vomit because I'm a Pisces, and I can't feel anything without crying.
Spoiler alert: it is not short lmao
The Vegas wedding is just so them. I remember every blurb and question you replied to about headcanons. Giving them this Gallagher-esque yet sweetly lip-and-MDL bit is just so great. I love how MdL reacted at first because, honestly, girl? Same. This is the kind of argument I've always pictured Lip having with his girlfriend about marriage and what the future holds for them. I love the open communication—we've come so far—and how Lip soothed her. The "Hey, hey, hey, baby..." Ugh, God, I could hear Jeremy! Hello? This is canon to me. Anyway. We all know Lip was serious from the start, but from MDL's perspective? Can you see his growth? How committed and devoted is this feeling? It's not only love—it's true love—but also a connection. They're soulmates.
This part had me SOBBING:
Now I'm crying again. God, this felt like an answer to the first song in the playlist I made. Something, somewhere, someday— Yes, something is happening today, guys.
I love that everyone was there. I'm more of a private person, but as the text went on, it just felt right. How could anyone not be there? This is the Gallaghers we're talking about! It's a ride or die situation. It was perfect.
Then we got to Celine. Baby girl, I've been dreaming of her for so long!
Lip finding out about the pregnancy by accident made me feel so bad! I felt sad for a second, like, "Damn, why are you so nosy? Let her surprise you!" But then MdL saw his glassy eyes, and I melted. I literally began sobbing. Surprise? Nope. I cry over these two every time.
Also, the kids calling mdl mom? Literally my trauma was healed then. Im serious. Crying.
Lip is getting his degree and is married with a pregnant wife. He has an epiphany about how far he has come and how he is still jumpy about the future, but he is reassured by everyone who loves him. Growth, growth, growth! This is what I've always wanted for him. I love his character so much, and you've done him justice. time.
The bits of sexual tension in this part, too? Yes, they're freaks, and they love each other. :)
Then, we go to the diner, and it's their ninth fake anniversary. I cried because that is the place that started everything. This is where MdL did the first act of kindness and grace for Lip. It's where he felt seen, heard, and accepted, even if only for a moment. This is where he told her about a part of himself that carried trauma and shame, and she accepted it. Although he didn't know it then, it never defined him. And now, they were there with their baby. Stop. Seriously. I love parallels and symbolism. I could write so much about how everything is connected in this series, but it won't be enough to express how great and amazing this love story is for Lip.
Now, the final part is my favorite because it felt like déjà vu. It was a sort of open door to old impulsivity and an old-school lip moment. But instead of rushing into a decision, he thought it through. It came from love. From so much love.
"And lover, be good to me,
Be as you've always been..."
(Hozier, 2019, "Wasteland, baby")
This lyric came up just now. Call it fate.
But yes. I suppose it's good. It's the natural way Lip cares for others. His kindness comes from within, steady and persistent despite all the hardships his heart has endured. If you ask me, Mdl is the perfect partner because her heart matches his and she inspires Lip's core kindness and caring nature to grow.
She not only welcomes the love he has always been willing—maybe even needing—to give, but she also returns it. She doubles it. It grows and grows, and like a garden, flowers bloom.
I'm happy knowing their garden will always be full and that they have each other no matter what.
Two little ones are coming to join their family soon. :)
tearing the fuck up reading this because how could something i wrote inspire such kind words and fulfillment like this??? god this is so good and i love how you worded this AND I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST fuuuck you got me
it’s beautiful and you’re beautiful and i love how in depth you went. because i love these characters so much and i put a lot of thought into it and i see that it helped ppl and created a wonderful community and safe space and i’m emotional.
thank u thank u thank u, for the reflections and the notes and the yaps and the amazing lyrical connections that inspired me and broke me it’s so overwhelming but i always looked forward to seeing what you had to say!!!
and now i have to look forward like them and fuuuck it’s getting me
summary: as a single dad coparenting with his frigid ex, lip gallagher is a different man compared to who he was years ago. he’s sober, he has a job he hates but maintains for his two children, and one day, he decides to enroll his daughter into free ballet classes on a whim. abandoning the idea of a stable relationship occurred even before he met tami, but he can’t deny there's something about his daughter's ballet instructor that pulls him in. it can’t hurt getting closer to you... can it? (fem!reader x lip gallagher)
take heed: balletinstructor!reader x singledad!lip, typical shameless topics and illusions, hurt/comfort, commentary on addiction, fluff, angst, slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, eventual smut.
preface. understanding lip gallagher, single dad
headcanons surrounding where lip gallagher is at physically and mentally at the beginning of the story.
i. introductions and ballet slippers
since he missed you the first time he dropped his daughter off at ballet due to rushing back to work, lip takes the time to introduce himself to you properly.
ii. trauma dumping and apple pie
lip comes to your rescue after your car dies. you thank him with a meal and he accidentally lets you into his less than savory past.
iii. toddler tears, dinosaurs, and braids
incapable of doing his daughter’s hair on his own, lip seeks your help, and you finally meet his son freddie while paying a home visit.
iv. zucchini muffins and tami’s call
lip has gotten into the habit of bringing snacks for your ballet class. oh, and tami has something to say about it.
v. kitchen venting and an unexpected invitation
while creating a vision board for the upcoming recital, you and lip speak freely at your kitchen table.
vi. an injury, transformers, and an almost
you attend freddie’s tee ball game and meet tami, lip’s aforementioned ex. freddie gets hurt, but luckily, you always carry a travel sized first aid kit.
vii. fuck walter, fuck tami, and fuck ballet
as previously prophesied by tami, juggling everything in his life has become too much for lip. you just so happen to be around during his tipping point.
viii. need for speed and shady business
this is not how you thought you’d meet lip’s family. life’s too hard and it throws you a curve ball with lip’s apologetic and yet thoughtful acts of service.
ix. attitude, poise, and cherry stems
accidentally stumbling in on you dancing, lip watches fondly and later fulfills something you’ve dearly missed with your lack of family, friends, and a relationship.
x. space, venus, and z’s
after lip asks if you can pick up freddie from school while he runs an errand, you get some one on one time with his oldest. you recount it later over a facetime call with lip.
xi. hershey’s kisses, bambi, and the step stool
dress rehearsal and the recital are finally here. not only do the events land on tami’s days, but lip’s doing his best to help ensure the recital’s overall success for you… and brandi. he means brandi.
xii. deny, deny, deny
monday rolls around, days after your shared kiss with lip, but he doesn’t show up to drop brandi off for class. sometimes it’s best to save face than unveil your true hand.
xiii. ex, ex, and anger’s eruption
a week passes after you and lip agree to being friends. but there are consequences to repressing true emotions. you both realize this in your studio after the vales leave.
xiv. bargaining sister to sister
you and lip confide in your sisters about the mess of emotions your shared argument has caused. what if things had been different?
xv. observing depression
the recognition of some heavy signs through the eyes of your peers and what they do about it.
xvi. rip: your friendship with lip
determined and motivated by his daughter’s connection with you, lip drives to your studio. you may not be the one he finds there, but there are still necessary apologies spoken.
xvii. meeting once, thursday night, meeting twice
lip and brandi meet your sister. she mentions her favorite dive bar, and now lip’s taking the two of you on friday night… that doesn’t mean nothing happens thursday night.
xviii. billy and stevie nicks
at ricky’s, anna questions lip, and he discovers something tantalizing about you.
xix. dinner, suspicions, and the it complaint
you stay for dinner with lip and his kids, mickey has his presumptions, and lip deals with a complaint during a busy day at work.
xx. kitchen flowers and kitchen dancing
on sunday, you spend the day with lip and his kids, and as promised, the night. while doing so, there are some new things you notice about your dynamic with lip as well as freddie and brandi.
xxi. pillowcases and rightful fears
fiona has news about the new building she’s closed in on, ian feels conflicted, and lip invites you to another upcoming event. he also unveils a tidbit of his past he’s not so proud of.
xxii. dinner reservation for gallagher
there’s something lip has been asking for that you haven’t granted him until now.
xxiii. happy birthday, bambi
the tamiettis and the gallaghers gather at the park for brandi’s birthday party. two types of crazy in one place.
xxiv. the computer scanner, the bills, and what does and what doesn’t last
after a crucial meeting with walter, lip knows he has to tell tami about it. he’s not sure how to tell you, though.
xxv. communication and the diamond earrings
lip sees your ex and currently has an insecurity around money after losing his job. it doesn’t stop him from trying to get you something expensive.
xxvi. a week without sex and zero condoms
since getting together, you and lip make the time to satisfy one another’s needs. after a week without sex, it’s obvious you were both pent up.
fin. forward
a number of milestones set up your future with lip.
bonus:
en avant (spanish playlist on spotify) 🎧
en avant (english playlist on spotify) 🎧
on brandi’s first day of pre school, lip ties her shoes
lip’s remorseful as he yaps to ian about yelling at you
you daydream at home after dancing with lip
calling tech support, you don’t expect lip to answer
lip’s joy of finally kissing you doesn’t last
lip has a wet dream about you after you make up
the monday morning after sleeping at lip’s
some headcanons about e sex with lip
when lip runs late, you and brandi have a chance to chat
how you and lip spend halloween together in the near future
tami decides to come in during a gallagher christmas celebration
you’re there when freddie gets in trouble at school
lip visits your studio after allegedly forgetting your anniversary
En Avant has officially ended and l4long-winded is leaving Tumblr, I think I should now reblog to recommend this story.
If you hated Lip's ending, this fanfic is for you. He has the best happily ever after. But not before some really sad angst in chapter thirteen that isn't resolved until chapter sixteen. After that, it's mostly happy. Just a little drama here and there, but nothing too painful.
Lip is just so good in this fic and his love interest, Miss Dancing Lady (MDL) is his perfect match. Their ending is so good.
summary: as a single dad coparenting with his frigid ex, lip gallagher is a different man compared to who he was years ago. he’s sober, he has a job he hates but maintains for his two children, and one day, he decides to enroll his daughter into free ballet classes on a whim. abandoning the idea of a stable relationship occurred even before he met tami, but he can’t deny there's something about his daughter's ballet instructor that pulls him in. it can’t hurt getting closer to you... can it? (fem!reader x lip gallagher)
take heed: balletinstructor!reader x singledad!lip, typical shameless topics and illusions, hurt/comfort, commentary on addiction, fluff, angst, slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, eventual smut.
preface. understanding lip gallagher, single dad
headcanons surrounding where lip gallagher is at physically and mentally at the beginning of the story.
i. introductions and ballet slippers
since he missed you the first time he dropped his daughter off at ballet due to rushing back to work, lip takes the time to introduce himself to you properly.
ii. trauma dumping and apple pie
lip comes to your rescue after your car dies. you thank him with a meal and he accidentally lets you into his less than savory past.
iii. toddler tears, dinosaurs, and braids
incapable of doing his daughter’s hair on his own, lip seeks your help, and you finally meet his son freddie while paying a home visit.
iv. zucchini muffins and tami’s call
lip has gotten into the habit of bringing snacks for your ballet class. oh, and tami has something to say about it.
v. kitchen venting and an unexpected invitation
while creating a vision board for the upcoming recital, you and lip speak freely at your kitchen table.
vi. an injury, transformers, and an almost
you attend freddie’s tee ball game and meet tami, lip’s aforementioned ex. freddie gets hurt, but luckily, you always carry a travel sized first aid kit.
vii. fuck walter, fuck tami, and fuck ballet
as previously prophesied by tami, juggling everything in his life has become too much for lip. you just so happen to be around during his tipping point.
viii. need for speed and shady business
this is not how you thought you’d meet lip’s family. life’s too hard and it throws you a curve ball with lip’s apologetic and yet thoughtful acts of service.
ix. attitude, poise, and cherry stems
accidentally stumbling in on you dancing, lip watches fondly and later fulfills something you’ve dearly missed with your lack of family, friends, and a relationship.
x. space, venus, and z’s
after lip asks if you can pick up freddie from school while he runs an errand, you get some one on one time with his oldest. you recount it later over a facetime call with lip.
xi. hershey’s kisses, bambi, and the step stool
dress rehearsal and the recital are finally here. not only do the events land on tami’s days, but lip’s doing his best to help ensure the recital’s overall success for you… and brandi. he means brandi.
xii. deny, deny, deny
monday rolls around, days after your shared kiss with lip, but he doesn’t show up to drop brandi off for class. sometimes it’s best to save face than unveil your true hand.
xiii. ex, ex, and anger’s eruption
a week passes after you and lip agree to being friends. but there are consequences to repressing true emotions. you both realize this in your studio after the vales leave.
xiv. bargaining sister to sister
you and lip confide in your sisters about the mess of emotions your shared argument has caused. what if things had been different?
xv. observing depression
the recognition of some heavy signs through the eyes of your peers and what they do about it.
xvi. rip: your friendship with lip
determined and motivated by his daughter’s connection with you, lip drives to your studio. you may not be the one he finds there, but there are still necessary apologies spoken.
xvii. meeting once, thursday night, meeting twice
lip and brandi meet your sister. she mentions her favorite dive bar, and now lip’s taking the two of you on friday night… that doesn’t mean nothing happens thursday night.
xviii. billy and stevie nicks
at ricky’s, anna questions lip, and he discovers something tantalizing about you.
xix. dinner, suspicions, and the it complaint
you stay for dinner with lip and his kids, mickey has his presumptions, and lip deals with a complaint during a busy day at work.
xx. kitchen flowers and kitchen dancing
on sunday, you spend the day with lip and his kids, and as promised, the night. while doing so, there are some new things you notice about your dynamic with lip as well as freddie and brandi.
xxi. pillowcases and rightful fears
fiona has news about the new building she’s closed in on, ian feels conflicted, and lip invites you to another upcoming event. he also unveils a tidbit of his past he’s not so proud of.
xxii. dinner reservation for gallagher
there’s something lip has been asking for that you haven’t granted him until now.
xxiii. happy birthday, bambi
the tamiettis and the gallaghers gather at the park for brandi’s birthday party. two types of crazy in one place.
xxiv. the computer scanner, the bills, and what does and what doesn’t last
after a crucial meeting with walter, lip knows he has to tell tami about it. he’s not sure how to tell you, though.
xxv. communication and the diamond earrings
lip sees your ex and currently has an insecurity around money after losing his job. it doesn’t stop him from trying to get you something expensive.
xxvi. a week without sex and zero condoms
since getting together, you and lip make the time to satisfy one another’s needs. after a week without sex, it’s obvious you were both pent up.
fin. forward
a number of milestones set up your future with lip.
bonus:
en avant (spanish playlist on spotify) 🎧
en avant (english playlist on spotify) 🎧
on brandi’s first day of pre school, lip ties her shoes
lip’s remorseful as he yaps to ian about yelling at you
you daydream at home after dancing with lip
calling tech support, you don’t expect lip to answer
lip’s joy of finally kissing you doesn’t last
lip has a wet dream about you after you make up
the monday morning after sleeping at lip’s
some headcanons about e sex with lip
when lip runs late, you and brandi have a chance to chat
how you and lip spend halloween together in the near future
tami decides to come in during a gallagher christmas celebration
you’re there when freddie gets in trouble at school
lip visits your studio after allegedly forgetting your anniversary
Okay, I'm writing this on my computer while I re-read this chapter for the third time. I've been trying to find the right words to end my collection of tags and notes on En Avant, but I don't think I'll ever find the right goodbye for this wholesome series. I found this amazing fic back in April, I think, and it found me when I was in a very bad way mentally, but I was deeply fixated on Lip Gallagher, LOL (I'm still here too). It gave me a huge boost to keep going and made me excited every Sunday to read the new chapter. It gave me bits of joy and laughter and got me back into creating playlists and searching for songs that reflected the story and characters. It's probably one of the most important pieces of literature I've found online, because yes, fanfiction is a new form of literature – I'm pulling out my English major card here. It had everything. Pure gold. Lip's characterisation was so accurate that it felt like I was reading a new season of Shameless, it was so good.
141 took the terrible ending (Yeah, i don't like season 11 I'm being honest) that Shameless gave us and built pure perfection from it. Not only does Lip grow as a character, but we also get closure. We confront his trauma with transparent lenses, but also with a kindness that no writer ever showed to Lip as a character. Moreover, Mdl is the love interest and character that I wish Shameless had taken the time to give Lip. She doesn't try to change him or dismiss his trauma; she loves him for who he is. Even with his anger issues and impulsivity, and despite the baggage of his alcoholism. I'm aware he's in a different place in his life to where the ending left him, but it's pretty obvious that he hadn't given himself the chance to heal or address the hurt and resentment he was still carrying. With MDL, he did just that: he didn't throw his trauma onto her, but rather relied on someone else. She taught him that healing is a shared journey, not a lonely destination. And that's just the surface of all the ways in which En Avant Protays portrays Lip as a character and tells his story.
Now this is likeeeee an introduction HAHAHA because im in the middle of finishing the argument of my thesis, BUT i wanted to share some appreciation before I do share my proper thoughts on the final chapter
the sweetest mf review ))): this warms my heart sm and you know damn well ima miss u so bad cause you really got lip and i’m so happy this did as well as it did it’s like my brain baby
I've said it before but I'll say it again, I'm gonna miss you queen! But I seriously wish you luck and prosperity ❤️ Also would you ever come back to tumblr or is this goodbye for good? Genuinely curious but sending love and well wishes either way ❤️ en avant has brought me so much joy and the finale was incredible btw!
AND I’LL MISS U SENDING THAT GOOD ENERGY RIGHT BACK!
i think i should at least keep my distance for as long as i can so idk if i will come back to it. it’s murky, never say never
thank u so much for your kind words and if this is goodbye i wish you the best and ultimate joy ❤️❤️
planning to log out and uninstall tumblr by tonight so if anyone has questions or anything they’d like to say or discuss, leaving that window starting now!!!
I’m in denial about you leaving by the way bc I always wanna be able to yap with you 💔💔
the way we have such a similar brain too 🤧 u were really there from the beginning and we’ve had pleeeenty of discussions that i think about a lot ima miss u so bad and i’m wishing you success and prosperity 🙏🙂↕️
l4l, im here in your inbox writing a novel about en avant for the last time😭😭i am signing off with a secret: i *believe* i was the first one to call reader mdl back when i was too scared to come off anon and i was very excited when it caught on😭🙏
i was so impressed with the flow of the finale i've never flown through 11k words faster! it was so wonderfully warm and slice-of-life, and it was such a nice way of sending our beloved characters off! i had the music from 'up' on in my head the whole time lol
the proposal scene sent me into cardiac arrest oh my GOD it was so good!! i LOOOVED how you wrote lip coming around on the idea of marrying mdl. it being almost a "slowly then all at once" thing topped off by him truly letting it rip and going for the vegas wedding felt so fitting and beautiful! i was dabbing my tears!! and AAA the pregnancy reveal!! the way he ruined it with his snooping! how excited he was! how excited the kids got!! showstopping!!
i think maybe the part that hit me the most out of everything though was lip telling the waitress that he was eight year sober like!! that was their little in-joke right from the start bc he didn't quite know how to tell ppl that unless he was accidentally oversharing. but look at him now!! he's got his kids and his wife and his degree and he doesn't have anything to be ashamed of. we came full circle. ohhhhh you got me good with that one! im so proud of all of them!
i'm gonna miss you and your writing so much but i've had sooo much fun reading and discussing with you these last few months. i know you're gonna do great things with all the free time on your hands! thank you very much for sharing your work and giving us all something to look forward to! i'll always look back on en avant sundays fondly!
AHHH that eats down cause i remember being confused what the acronym meant and then i saw it getting more use. that’s legendary 🙏
i knew that i wanted those longer scenes and then the shorter stuff to add onto it. these moments that needed to be highlighted! they deserved a long scene for their vegas decision and finding out about their first child together. a lot of it IS reflection so i think the last parts speaking for themselves really tied it in. i was listening to the en avant playlists while editing and writing cause omg the story came so far.
i think it was fun to explore lip’s resistance towards marriage because i know ian had it and then fiona was close to getting married and that unfortunately ended in disaster. so i know the examples in his life weren’t great, but he also did have good marriages for him to look at. it’s more that he knew he had to fix his perspective and heal that part of himself first before he could fully take that leap. and in true lip fashion, he wanted to dive headfirst once he trusted it wouldn’t end in catastrophe.
and then i knew a few ppl wanted the pregnancy reveal to be accidental so i put a spin on what was discussed before and i think it went well! in my head, however mdl decides to surprise lip ab the twins, she actually managed to get him.
the diner scene came as i was writing. i thought it was important for them to not only celebrate a huge accomplishment for him, thx to that anon who suggested it, but to show he’s prouder of himself and also no longer diminishing what he’s managed to achieve.
ima MISSS YOUU you helped me with this so much and offered a lot of insight about details i had trouble sorting on my own. you made me think more in depth and truly a better writer and i appreciate you so gd much and I HOPE U CONTINUE THE COLLEGE LIP SERIES BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE AND ADORE IT SM.
ohhhmygosh i’m back, wow that last chapter was everything, you’re everything wowowow
it was so beautiful and made me feel so many emotions and when i reached the end my heart dropped because wdym it’s over and wdym you’re leaving???? i’m gonna miss you and i do miss you so bad already 💔💔💔💔💔
you have so much talent it really blows my mind, the emotions your writing brings out of me is truly crazy you have such a gift and i’m so appreciative to have found you. i love you and i’m so excited for you and this new era of your life, always remember you have so many people on here that love you and will continue to think about you while you’re gone and doing so many great things, i wish you the absolute best and so much happiness <33
NO YOU’RE EVERYTHING WAAAAH
i felt a lot of emotions writing it, after planning and finally going into it, i think i had that same feeling when i got to the end. like light but at the same time empty cause i poured so much into it and to have it become something i look back on feels so weighted
BUT it’s gonna be all good, we have tons of talented writers on here and i know the content will prosper and i know u will as well!!! no matter how hard life gets
i love u and i hope to make everyone proud with all these crazy dreams i sometimes curse that are in my heart. and with that, i really do wish the best for all of you. in love, health, and happiness. i appreciate you so bad!!!
when in vegas, one should always expect the unexpected. still, you aren’t prepared for what’s suddenly in your boyrfriend lip’s head. but it’s the first big milestone before the ones that follow after.
blow on my dice, baby.
it’s the last thing lip says to you at the craps table before you put your lips together and blow a streamline of air into his hand. that alone gives him confidence you’ll achieve the number you need, your belief and added luck, but he still steals a kiss from you for himself, for the illusion of good measure. then he spills the dice from his hold and listens for the thud of the cubes over the table, only slightly populated by a few strangers, and veronica and kevin.
lip’s siblings are elsewhere in the casino, no doubt causing havoc to increase their wealth, scheming as best as they can with the added inspection of nearby security. yours are tagging along with ian and mickey. you still can’t believe elliot agreed to coming to vegas considering how married he is to his job, but it’s one of those things where everything fell into its right place. everyone figured out a week in their schedules to come down to vegas for much needed, unadulterated fun. even lip’s sister fiona is here, someone you’ve finally met in person outside of saying hi to her during her facetime calls with lip, before coming here.
she mentioned something about having the privilege to have a real vacation without the stress of worrying if everyone would be okay or not. the way she talks about her siblings and acts towards them makes you realize how much lip’s like her. although everyone’s successfully navigating their lives, the older sibling syndrome hasn’t shut off.
the only one who’s not engaging in anything, under any watchful gazes anyway, is liam since he’s technically too young to play anything. that doesn’t mean he’s not guiding debbie in blackjack as subtly as possible.
you like kevin and veronica, lip’s lifelong neighbors. apparently they have kids at home in kentucky. lip’s agreed to visiting them sometime, but he told you on the side that he really doesn’t want to go to kentucky. he had anxiety leaving chicago for this trip, something you soothed him through in the leading weeks and the plane ride over. he didn’t want to be away from the kids for so long and he has this thing about being from home. chicago, and all its fucked up flaws, is his safe place, an important factor in his stability and sobriety. you told him that you both didn’t have to go, but he insisted on this being something he had to do to grow, as long as you helped him through it. and you did, because your man asked, so it was a no brainer.
after cashing out on some winnings between you and lip, which is about a profit of $5,000 (you know when to quit, but it took quite a lot of convincing for lip to leave when he’s on a streak with you), you two decide to take a walk through the night without any of your siblings around. while this trip has been fun with all your collective people, you relish in the alone time. his hand is in yours, fingers interlaced, thumb stroking back and forth as you observe the surrounding buildings and other tourists out this late. without the overcrowd, you’re able to appreciate the city for what it is. it’s alive and dazzling and yet it has its own stench like chicago has, but it’s a different kind.
the air’s dry and it has a chill. the temperature in chicago would be lower during this time of night, however, so it’s more on the warmer side to you and lip. you still tuck yourself against lip for his warmth and he chuckles as he slings an arm around you.
as you walk, an inevitable chapel greets you in the distance. vegas is lined with these spots, but this time, you see a couple barge out from the exit. they’re giggling and a few of their friends are taking pictures with them. the woman’s in a cream dress and her husband is in a nice collared shirt. it’s telling of how they all planned this out and it intrigues you because normally, at least what you’ve seen depicted in movies and tv, it’s spontaneous. a spur of the moment decision.
“congrats to the newly weds,” you say to lip from the side of your mouth.
his gaze is already on them, pausing his gait to watch from where you two are. the celebration is heartfelt, even with the limited amount of people gathered. but this is huge for the couple, giddy as they kiss and pose and throw rice into the air.
“think the chapel provided the rice?”
you shrug.
“maybe. definitely the bouquet. i saw the attendant take it back when they walked out.”
lip snorts in amusement. he stares over at them longer, lost in thought. you’re not sure what’s going on in that head of his, but you’d like to continue sight seeing. so you tug his hand and gesture with your other arm.
“let’s keep walking. we’re almost at fremont.”
but for some reason, lip continues to keep his gaze on the couple and their perceived friends and family. he scans the chapel, a small smile forming on his lips.
“don’t think they’ll annul it.”
“… me neither?” you say in confusion. you have no idea why he’s so invested in these people. lip hardly likes people in general.
“nah… i don’t think they’ll regret a thing.”
you don’t know what realm your boyfriend’s traveled to as he vaguely interprets the feelings of the couple ahead. there’s a far away look in lip’s eyes. you like to think that you know him well enough to understand what he may be doing or possibly contemplating, but this stumps you.
you gently turn his chin towards you. he follows with little resistance, his eyes back on yours.
“something wrong?”
he laughs shortly and kisses your palm.
“you always ask me that when i get quiet.”
defensiveness comes over you. you huff and furrow your eyebrows.
“you’re usually thinking too much when you get quiet.”
he lets out another hum of amusement. now that he’s not looking at the couple, he’s focused on your features. you recognize that look. it’s the one he gets when he sees you interacting with brandi and freddie, who are currently both at tami’s for the duration of this vacation. the kind when he lingers in the back of your class and you’re still in the middle of teaching. the way he looks at you when you’ve both been intimate, a longing in his intense eyes, yearning that feels like he invented.
“so what are you thinking?” you ask, recognizing the tonal shift. you tried to approach it in a humorous manner, but it’s clear there’s depth you’re not picking up on as easily.
his smile quirks, barely there, but sincere.
“marry me.”
the air leaves your lungs instantaneously. you blink rapidly at lip to try and make sense of this, if he’s joking, if this is his stupid way of attempting to make you laugh and then ultimately wave it off.
“that’s not funny,” you reply anxiously, your voice stern as you try to pull your hand away. his grip tightens a fraction to keep it in his hold.
“i’m serious.”
“no, that’s not funny, lip!” you say, louder this time like it’ll emphasize your point.
“that’s a very big commitment you’re talking about and it would change everything.”
“i know.”
“you can’t throw it around like it’s nothing, like it’s not heavy and important, because it is heavy and important to me.”
“baby, i know.”
“do you? because i don’t see marriage as something that’s… impromptu and rash and the decision you make based off a night of gambling—i’m not a gamble, lip.”
“hey, hey, i know. i know that, c’mere.”
he cups your face into his hands. it soothes the nerves rampant in your system. you didn’t notice how worked up your panic made you until he touches you with softness, tenderness, his thumbs on your cheeks grounding you to this spot here with him.
this conversation has come before. lip expressed how he was open to the idea of more kids with you in the future about seven months into dating. it led to you telling him how you wanted to be married before you had any. which then led to lip discussing with you how skewed he saw marriage as an institution, how the few successful ones he saw worked, but there were so many others that made him apprehensive towards it.
and then he started to ask what flowers you’d like at your wedding a month later. he mentioned how brandi would make a cute flower girl, freddie a dutiful ring bearer. he asked what kind of music you should play, if you two should eventually take ballroom classes. he’s been warming up to it more and more, asking questions to ian, to kevin, to brad, unbeknownst to you.
“i know i blindsided you, and i’m sorry,” he says, licking his lips between.
“but i mean it. i wouldn’t fuck around about this, especially not with you. i know it’s important to you and i know that you saw this for later down the line, but i felt it… i feel it. i want to marry you.”
him saying it again doesn’t make it any less flooring than when he first did. your knees still feel weak as you look into his eyes, oxygen not filling your body quickly enough, your heartbeat escalating like before.
“lip, i… i love you, but i… i don’t want you to do this if you think you’re going to lose me or something.”
it’s a concern that’s bubbled within you since the topic first emerged months ago. you tried to hide your disappointment when he explained how he perceived marriage, so much so that his later approaches almost felt a bit mocking. you know that’s not how he meant it, but how else are you supposed to feel when the love of your life almost subtly claims he doesn’t want to marry you and then continues to tease you with allusions of what it could be. at least, that’s how you took it, because you’re human. lip was only communicating with you how he felt on the matter and you couldn’t help but feel a sting over it. it’d be a dealbreaker for other couples, but you love lip so much, you were willing to hang on longer.
“i’m not, it’s not that,” he says with a rapid shake of his head, anything to dispel that from your mind.
“i’ve thought about it more… a lot. and yeah, i don’t want to lose you, but i also want to keep you. for the rest of my life, i want it to only be you, and i want to be the only one for you, too. i want us to share everythin’, be a family, grow our family, all of it. i’m not talkin’ out my ass,” he states with an addition of your name at the end.
it occurs to you now that lip consistently bringing around the idea of marriage stems from annihilating his fears and concerns towards it. your boyfriend didn’t mention possibilities to be cruel, but to display to you he was thinking about it more in-depth, considering it because of your wants, and preparing himself.
to lip, even before with his doubts, this was the inevitable. he was just making sure he was ready for it to be the man you needed and deserved.
“and i don’t want to leave vegas without you as my wife.”
a knot corrodes your throat, your eyes welling with tears from the moment’s intensity, from emotions overwhelming you from the inside out. you glance at the chapel and search for the couple and their friends only to find they’re already gone. in the dead of night, it’s only you and lip, and the various flashing lights of the city. it almost feels like it continues to breathe in its glamor and tawdry propaganda.
“… but i… i-i wanted—i want—an actual wedding surrounded by the people we love. gosh, the kids aren’t even here,” you utter, your tone unsteady, cracking the slightest bit.
“i know, baby, i know,” he says and gently pecks your lips a few times. you kiss him back, his scent infiltrating your nostrils.
“i’ll give you one. a big one, a small one, an expensive one, whatever you want. i’ll figure it out,” he says as he grabs your hands.
“but i want you to be mrs. gallagher before we get back to chicago. i’ll marry you fifty times over, i don’t care… we’ll do the big ceremony and the big party and the honeymoon, but please, baby, marry me here and now and i’ll be the happiest motherfucker alive.”
the tears in your eyes create a blurry mask around lip’s face, part of it glowing from the nearby chapel’s sign bathing it in magenta. his eyes almost look violet as a striking result. you’re still stunned by the night’s events, by his impromptu proposal, but it aligns with his character and who he is. while this is impulsive, he acts with his heart, with how he’s feeling, and that knowledge alerts you of how real this is. you marry him tonight and soon you’ll marry him again in white, you’ll have the dream wedding, but he’ll already be exclusively yours, and you can sort the rest out later.
when you don’t answer fast enough, lip drops to one knee in front of you. it’s the hammered, definite nail in the coffin, his deliberate squeeze of your hands leading you from your head to the present.
“i’m in love with you. i don’t think i’ve ever been more certain about anythin’ else. you’re… you’re everythin’ to me and you love my kids and they love you and i know i don’t have a ring, but i’ll get you one, and i’ll spend every wakin’ moment tryin’ to be the man you deserve.”
it’s no use. the tears you held back start to fall down your ducts, down your cheeks, but your lips can’t stop smiling. you can’t come down from how over the moon you are.
“so, please, baby… marry me. marry me and, and i’ll—”
“i’ll marry you.”
despite how lip’s the one who’s asking and pleading and convincing, literally kneeling before you, your admission rings his ears, his entirety’s first instinct to be stunned. he stares at you and searches for any sign of second thought, anything that indicates you feel otherwise.
“really?”
“yeah,” you laugh and nod, “i’ll marry you right now.”
“right now?” he asks as he stands up to his full height. his arms wrap around you and pull you flush against him.
“yes… right now.”
joy explodes, expands, overtakes lip by his last remnants of control. he secures his arms firmly around you, his mouth latches onto yours, and you melt against him, the taste of light salt on your tongues from the happy tears you can’t and don’t dare to bother and suppress. his mouth glissades with ease and it occurs to you this is the one you’re going to kiss for the rest of your life, and you know he’s going to do it just like this, this impassioned and enamored, every fucking chance he gets.
“i love you,” he murmurs against your mouth.
“i love you, too.”
he has one hand cupping your face, his thumb caressing your cheek.
“come on.”
you and lip walk together into the chapel with surprisingly eager steps. now that you’re on the same page, it’s the only option that makes sense. the most logical and coherent.
you speak to the attendant and she explains the process you’re about to embark on. there’s paperwork, discussion of the officiant, possible witnesses that you and lip consider.
it’s when you’re holding hands together, waiting on a bench outside for them to get everything ready, that ian calls lip. lip looks down, his leg bouncing, his hand over yours in your lap. and he answers the call with his free one.
“yeah?”
“yo, where you guys at? debbie almost got us kicked out and carl’s shitfaced.”
“no, she did get us kicked out. they said either we get escorted by security or we leave,” fiona’s voice chimes from nearby. ian must have the call on speaker.
“my sister with you?” anna asks. lip smiles softly, able to recognize her voice.
“mhm, she’s here.”
lip squeezes your hand. you lean against him and listen to the call from there. you understand why he doesn’t want to put it on speaker. the night is nice and quiet and electric, and the voices of your siblings may disrupt that peace.
“so where are you?” ian repeats and redirects the conversation.
lip swallows the anticipation and nerves building in his throat. he glances at you and smiles, the step you’re about to take one of the most pivotal points of your relationship. you look beautiful where your head’s tucked on his shoulder, fluttering lashes at him that he feels his heart skip a few beats for. how abysmally cheesy, but how fucking wonderful it is to have someone who could render him helpless and powerful all in one, vulnerable and uplifted, weak and strong.
“we’re…”
he pauses, unsure if he should tell the truth or not. according to the plan, they can all come to the next wedding you and lip will eventually have, but it doesn’t feel right to leave them on the outside when everything feels special about tonight. everyone managed to get here to vegas, people you and lip care for, and while you two will do your best to find a date to recreate attendance as well as for others, like tami and his kids and friends and more of your family, you don’t want strangers to be your witnesses. he won money tonight, with lady luck by his side, and you both stumbled upon a happy couple emerging at the right moment. it feels aligned. red stringed. one coincidence after the other.
but while lip thinks all of this, what gets him to talk again is the nod of your head. the subtle go ahead because you want everyone here and your mind’s mulling it like lip’s is.
“we’re at a wedding chapel… we’re gettin’ married.”
“what? married?” ian croaks in disbelief.
“give me that! gimme!” debbie says, the phone picking up a bit of feedback from where they’re likely passing it around. or somewhat fighting for it.
“what do you mean married? are you serious?”
“yep. we’re waitin’ for them to clean up,” lip says. he wonders if they can hear the smile in his voice.
“where?” fiona asks. she sounds closer now. he pictures them huddling around the phone.
“i’ll send ian the location and—”
“hurry up. we’re on our way,” she says definitively.
you sit up without creating distance between you and lip. it feels more real knowing that both of your family will be here soon. it’s a good thing you two didn’t walk very far to locate this chapel. they’re everywhere in vegas.
soon, his siblings are here, your siblings are here, kevin and veronica are here. you and lip are hugging one after the other, congratulations spewed, tears in your sister’s eyes, her and elliot asking if this is what you want before they’re gathering you up in a group embrace and pre-celebrating. they tell lip to take care of you and he proclaims he will with the utmost sincerity.
the gallaghers joke about you becoming their sister-in-law. fiona, for example, says she just met you not too long ago and you’re already part of the family. your interactions with her are only low because of how she lives outside of chicago. you’ve met her a few times before this.
carl congratulates you and gives you a hug longer than necessary because he’s swaying. debbie tells you to hit her up if it doesn’t work out, to which lip glares at her for. ian and mickey make their promises to be there for you if you need anything. liam welcomes you in, but explains how you’ve already been part of their family for a while now.
kevin and veronica remind you and lip to keep things alive and to call if you need tips.
but what can feel more alive than waking up to a regular vegas day and then going to sleep married in your hotel room at night?
the officiant makes the next part rather simple. you both repeat after her, holding each other’s hands, lip’s having a gentle tremble. it’s thankfully not out of fear, but it’d be crazy if neither you and lip had some kind of nerves. you’re about to leap into something a lot different than either of you have experienced. but at least you’re doing it together.
“it’s you and me, baby,” lip whispers to you as the officiant speaks. you smile at him, clutching a bouquet provided by the chapel in the other hand.
but it winds up falling from your grasp since you need both arms to wrap around lip’s neck as he decides to dip you post i do.
lip’s been working so hard lately.
either he’s studying or he’s improving his sales at his computer job. he sits in front of the screen for a long period of time, but he’s putting in the work to finish his degree. it’s closer and closer to where he needs to be, and not at the expense of neglecting you and the kids.
but fuck, he’s tired.
you lie with him at the end of sunday night after a day of preparing the kids for school tomorrow. they’re not in bed yet, but lip plops himself onto you, not paying attention to much else besides his head in your chest, his lips brushing your upper breast. it’s not out of lust, but pure exhaustion. he’s already dozing atop of you.
“still need to tuck the kids in,” you gently say. your hand slides through his hair, currently being grown out, due for a haircut sometime soon. before you break out the sheers and his shaver, you’re enjoying this look on him.
it makes him look younger. like photos he’s shown you from college, the period before he became a dad.
“i’m so sleepy,” he mumbles, voice vibrating on your flesh.
“you got it?”
you chuckle to yourself. the sound buzzes on his head and creates a smile you feel broaden on your chest.
“i can do it, but you have to let me go.”
he groans at that option. his arms tighten around you, snuggling further against you. in turn, he further entraps you beneath him.
“they can’t tuck each other in?”
“don’t let bam hear that you don’t want to tuck her in.”
he grumbles a little. he turns his head, his chin near your sternum as he looks up at you. the strain in his eyes is evident through a slight pink tint behind his captivating blues. you push some strands away from his visage.
“you’re s’posed to be on my side.”
“says who?” you tease.
“our vows.”
he kisses up your chest, lingering to lavish your collarbone with pecks.
“pretty sure i said i’d honor your kids in those,” you remind him softly.
he pauses what he’s doing, his eyes shifting to meet yours again. without saying it, the look conveys his silent scolding. you realize your mistake; he’s been getting onto you more and more recently about that.
“our kids,” you correct.
lip’s lazy smile returns. he resumes his kisses, planting them in random spots up your neck.
“you know i would, baby. but i’m so tired. can barely keep my eyes open.”
“and what are you going to do when we have another set of feet running around?”
“stock up on red bulls.”
your laugh half makes it out. the rest of it winds up smothered as lip’s mouth descends upon yours. although his exhaustion is tangible, he doesn’t half ass kissing you. he never has and you’re certain he never will.
“don’t know if our fridge has much room,” you mutter between those moments where your mouths slide apart, the interludes for air.
“i’ll make room.”
“give her back, fred!”
“then give me my ball!”
you and lip break away with simultaneous sighs. you both heard freddie and brandi, can still hear them arguing back and forth. they usually get along well, but they both are less agreeable around this time of night, a signal they’re ready for bed.
“i’ll take care of it. try not to fall asleep.”
you pat lip’s arms to release you. although he doesn’t want to, he reluctantly lets go and shifts to his side so you can get up. his eyes follow you as you walk out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
he musses up his hair a few times as he stares at the ceiling. he shouldn’t fall asleep, not when he knows he should help you tuck the kids in once you resolve this spat between them. they’re bickering more as they’re getting older. while time has definitely been kind to him, he’s not enthused at the prospect of his kids needing him less and less.
but he’ll be there when they do. so he needs to get up and stay awake just a bit longer so he can join you in tucking them in. freddie will soon be at an age where he’ll refuse it. then brandi shortly after.
he yawns as he subtracts himself from bed and pads like a zombie to the bathroom. to spark some life back into him, he decides to brush his teeth. he grabs his toothbrush and… and then he searches for the toothpaste which isn’t lying around or in the cabinet.
curiously, he walks to the bathroom closet and opens it. maybe you put away an extra tube somewhere and he doesn’t have to make a stop at the store tomorrow.
but as he does, he notices something vibrant sticking out from under the towels. his eyebrow raises, lifting the tin material out. as he unfolds it, he recognizes the shape, silvery and full of gold and pastel colored stars. at the center of the balloon reads hello, baby.
he pauses as he reads the simple, cursive words a few more times. there’s another balloon just like it, strings of ribbon coming off them. it pulls more of his attention, wakens him up, now scanning the closet for more evidence of what’s currently springing around his head. below the shelves on the closet floor is a canister of helium tucked away. he probably would’ve missed it if he hadn’t found the balloons.
then lip checks behind the towels, now unable to stop himself, and there’s a small box with a bow sitting atop of it. seeing as he’s gotten this far, he opens it, letting out a breath of relief, one that confirms his thoughts, his eyes welling.
inside is a white onesie, lettering across the front of it, “coming soon.” he sees the tiny beige booties and then the paper tissue beneath. he sets the box down on the bathroom counter and finds the pregnancy test at the very bottom. it’s in a plastic bag, the top of it capped pink, the two lines that have him realizing just how real this is.
“there you are!” you huff as you enter the doorway.
“i got the kids to say sorry to each other and now they’re waiting on us.”
you point with your thumb vaguely behind you. lip looks up with barely contained emotion on his features, his smile broad. you look from his face to the open box, the balloons he has laid out on the counter, the pregnancy test in his hands.
“fuck, you weren’t supposed to see that yet!”
he says nothing as he laughs. it’s more so out of disbelief, setting the test back into the box as he slowly approaches.
“i’m so sorry, baby,” he says softly.
“so, so sorry… but… you’re… it’s for real?”
you flutter your lashes a few times. he may have ruined your surprise, but you’re still able to see his raw reaction. it appears as if he only just discovered all of this. the only part you missed was his face upon seeing the onesie. but you see him now and he’s tinged pink, his eyes glassy, most likely that way from the current influx of shock and undeniable joy.
“… yeah… i’m pregnant.”
he releases another breath of air, crossing the short distance in a stride towards you. his arms engulf you and for a moment, you don’t feel the floor underneath your feet. he lifts you in a bear hug and you embrace him back, overwhelmed by him finding out early, by how he’s squeezing you like you’re everything and more.
he eventually sets you onto the counter, making his home between your legs (which is the kind of behavior that got you here), and he presses kiss after kiss over your face. you giggle at the sporadic affection, a sound he muffles with his mouth. you feel his smile in full force as he kisses you, moisture you’re not sure is coming from his eyes or yours.
“i love you… god, i love you,” he mumbles. he doesn’t bother to separate much from your mouth. it elicits another laugh from you.
“i take it you’re happy?”
he properly looks at you and raises his eyebrows.
“thrilled,” he corrects you softly.
“no wonder you said the fridge didn’t have any room. i was like, ‘why would we need to worry about that now?’”
you shake your head in amusement as lip wipes your tears with his thumbs. you return the favor, but your hands stay on his face.
“i was going to set everything up tomorrow before you got back from dropping the kids off at school.”
he sighs. he’s apologetic, but he can’t rid of the stupid grin on his lips.
“sorry again,” he murmurs.
“it’s okay.”
you’re a bit bummed he stumbled upon your announcement before you could make it yourself, but you’re much happier knowing that he knows.
“when’d you find out?” he tenderly strokes the outside of your thighs. you have no idea how much touchier he’s about to get.
“a few days ago. noticed i was late and remember how i was feeling nauseous?”
he nods. he picked you up over-the-counter medicine and laid with you during his breaks from the computer. he convinced you to call your dance classes off since you were sick, something you didn’t want to do, but lip gallagher has a persuasive tongue.
“i took a test, went a little crazy in here by myself, and then took another one to make sure. positive each time.”
he chuckles at the revelation.
“did you tell your sister?”
he knows you too well. that was actually your first initial instinct, but you decided against it.
“no. wanted you to know first. i mean, i was going to send her and elliot a video of you finding out, but can’t do that anymore.”
he sheepishly sneaks himself another kiss, touched by your prioritization, and the decision to make him the first of everyone. it is his baby after all, but he appreciates how special you… tried to make it for him.
since you still have those balloons, he can help you set them up. he might get a little flack from debbie and carl, but you two can still film a video announcement and send it off to your siblings and his as well as others like brad and veronica and kevin. he’ll have to tell tami face to face.
“not my fault we’re out of toothpaste,” he mutters in mock defense of himself.
“that why you were snooping?”
he playfully scoffs.
“it’s my house.”
“our house.”
he closes his mouth once he realizes you’ve turned it around on him. he can’t even argue because honestly, that’s exactly what he wants to hear. this is your guys’ house, and he couldn’t be happier.
lip intends to kiss you again, but he has to create some separation from your body as freddie pushes the door open. brandi is right next to him, a teddy bear hanging from her hand. they’re both in pajamas, ready for bed, and lip marvels over it and your ability to wrangle them so easily. you’re going to be a great mother. not that he doubted that whatsoever since technically you already are.
“did you forget about us?” freddie asks with furrowed brows.
“we’ve been waiting forever!” brandi exclaims.
they really were not waiting forever. it must’ve felt that way though since you told them to put their pjs on and that you and lip would be over to tuck them in.
“sorry,” you say to the kids softly.
“she was tellin’ me some good news,” lip adds.
he can’t hold it back. not from his kids. they were very grumpy when you and lip first came back married from vegas for about twenty minutes, but it quickly morphed into elation since it meant you were now officially part of their family.
they forgave you two at the actual wedding not too long ago for it, gleeful for their designated roles and participation.
lip looks at you, however, as if asking for silent permission. you rub the side of your face, not having to hear him say it. no, your mind is there, too. and it’s in agreement.
you nod subtly, nerves in your chest as the kids look back and forth between you and lip.
“what good news?” freddie asks.
“… your mom’s pregnant,” lip says, gesturing his head to you. although they’ve started to call you that for the past six months, it’s jarring to hear every time.
even with tami’s acceptance, which came so long as the kids know you’re their step mom. no one’s replacing tami. and you, nor lip, are cruel to try.
the kids gasp in shock as they look at you in surprise. you slide off the counter, fidgeting a bit with your hands. no matter all the love between you, being centerfold like this makes you nervous. you don’t know how they’re going to react. you didn’t know how lip would despite how long he’s asked for a baby, for when you could start trying.
relief hits you hard as they scream in mirth and then run straight to you. you kneel to the floor and hug them both. then lip’s there with all of you, attempting to wrap his arms around his little family.
“you’re going to have a baby?! really?” brandi asks.
“mhm. and you and fred are going to get another sibling.”
“a brother?” freddie interjects.
brandi huffs at him.
“no, a sister!”
before they can start arguing, lip rubs their backs and laughs.
“we don’t get to decide that. so we’ll see when they get here and once they’re here, we’ll love them no matter what. right?”
although the kids groan a little, they nod their heads.
“we knooow,” freddie says. you know lip’s just making sure there aren’t any ill feelings. you’ll all figure out how to make this work.
“when’s the baby coming?” brandi asks.
you shrug your shoulders.
“i don’t know. i’m going to schedule an appointment at the doctor’s so i can find out soon.”
“we,” lip corrects.
there he goes again. it’s a game at this point. of course he’ll be there for the appointment, for every appointment. you can’t exactly guess how long from now since it could’ve been a number of times… you and lip weren’t exactly careful, even less so after your wedding.
“we,” you say with emphasis as you look at lip and then back at brandi, “will find out soon.”
“okay! and you’ll tell us?” freddie asks with bright eyes. his father’s. you wonder if your baby will have lip’s eyes.
“absolutely. we’re a family.”
the kids stay up later, too excited after the news about the baby. they linger in your bedroom with lip as you discuss nursery ideas, what to stock up on, when you need to start perusing new houses since this one is about to feel a lot smaller.
eventually, freddie and brandi fall asleep. they’re in spots between you and lip, tuckered out, and you don’t have it in you to pick them up and take them to their rooms. lip’s also passed out, something you saw as only a matter of time since he was incredibly tired. you cast your gaze across the three of them, thinking about how you got here, how jarring it is, and yet it feels so right. you couldn’t think about being anywhere else. everything fell into where it was supposed to.
with your husband, your kids, and the one currently growing in your belly.
inhaling a deep breath, lip blows it out through his mouth, staring forward at his reflection. he takes in his recent haircut, the hanging, undone tie around his neck, the collar flush to his skin. he’s comfortable, and he looks good, you told him he did and he believes just about anything you say. these nerves in him contrast his appreciation of his current appearance. it’s foreign. after all this time, he’s still getting used to things being celebrated, to the feeling of accomplishment alongside his innate doubt and fear.
“hey, still not ready? do i have to help you, too?”
lip turns his head. a small smile springs onto his lips, easily, instantly, not that he was resisting it. you’ve returned from wrangling the kids into their formal clothes. you, yourself, are in a longer dress, your round belly filling it out, in lip’s eyes, perfectly.
“yeah, i’ll take some help.”
you hum in amusement and step closer to him. your hands claim both sides of his tie, beginning to fix its position on his neck first. his palms wind up on your stomach, thumbs stroking, soft kicks greeting him, which he still can’t get over.
“you’re a lot better at this than i am,” you say. he admires the short line between your eyebrows as you concentrate.
“maybe, but i like how you do it.”
you playfully glance up at him, a knowing grin on your mouth. it’s not exactly that lip likes your version of tying a tie more than his own, but that he enjoys you fussing over him and offering your attention.
reverting your eyes back to his tie, you carefully start to fold and loop.
“thinking?”
right on the money. he is thinking. of course you can tell. you read each other like nobody else.
“mhm… wonderin’ if somethin’ll happen before i get it.”
you flick your gaze up to him again and then refocus on his tie.
“your degree?”
“yeah.”
you push the knot up his tie until it’s snug, but not choking him. then you tuck the tail end into the pocket behind the larger portion.
you cup his face, warmth he needs and thrives off spreading over his cheeks. he rubs your belly softly, bringing himself towards his picture-perfect reality.
“nothing will. you’re going to get your degree whether we celebrate tonight or not.”
“i know.”
he’s just so close. in his past experiences, that progress usually shatters before he’s about to approach his goal. good things come with time limits and expiration dates. he’s not superstitious, but going through with tonight spurs a fear that it’ll jinx him. all his hard work will drain out and he will lose one thing after another.
“but… that’s not all i’m thinkin’ about.”
“no? what else are you thinking?”
he examines the look of concern on your beautiful face. you’re preparing to comfort and redirect his train of thought. lip’s familiar with this expression. he appreciates it when he spirals, that you’ll be there to uplift him again, like what he does for you. he’s been more on that side of things these days since your pregnancy hormones are no joke. one second he’s rocking you and kissing your tears and the next he’s smiling as you giggle with an acquired craving.
but that compassionate look isn’t necessary right now. because while lip is thinking about worst case scenarios, there are other things floating around his head.
“thinkin’ what i’m goin’ to do with my degree… gettin’ a new job, sellin’ the house, buyin’ a new one, makin’ room for her.”
your countenance softens as he explains himself. his eyes dart down to your stomach, your baby girl to arrive relatively soon. it’ll change so much, but not the care and love you have for each other and for your family.
“a whole house for one baby?” you slyly ask. you already know where his head is and he confirms it with a sheepish grin.
“or two… three…”
you laugh as he kisses your neck. you’ve both discussed this well enough. you need a place big enough for the incoming baby, freddie and brandi, and should you and lip decide that you want to expand further.
“we’ll see,” you say as you pet through his short hair.
“we will.”
he continues to trail your neck, occupies his mouth against your flesh, ignites ticklish nerve endings from there down your spine. goosebumps form on your skin, forever affected by the small things lip does. he still can hardly keep his hands off you. you’re astonished how he’s managed to meet just about every need you’ve had pregnant. sure, you have your tiffs, but he tends to fold the second he feels tears are coming.
“stop,” you playfully scold and swat his arm, “or you’re going to convince me to stay.”
lip hides his smirk against your neck. in the meantime, the hot breath from his nostrils ghosts your skin.
this celebration dinner was your idea after all. the kids will be out on vacation with tami within a week so you thought it better to celebrate early rather than later. debbie and carl won’t be attending, but ian, mickey, and liam will. it took some persuading on your part to get lip to begrudgingly agree. he didn’t seem too keen on the spotlight being on him for that long.
except, lip has all the power right now. pregnancy has made you particularly sensitive to stimulation of any kind. sometimes those crying sessions end with food or his head between your legs, his digits inside of you, or him praising you as he guides your hips over him. you’ve found he’s a patient and attentive lover during the duration of your pregnancy thus far. if he wants to, he can derail your plans and spend the night wrapped up in his personal slice of heaven.
but you’ll inevitably pout tomorrow if he takes that route. you’ll reschedule. he won’t truly be free of his celebration dinner. either it happens tonight or at a later date.
so while he greatly considers taking the risk, and because he’d rather be lost in the throes of passion with you than anything else, he uses vast willpower to step back and sigh in mock defeat. it’s very dramatic how he groans at his own decision, smiling gently as he hears your laugh.
“can’t ditch, need to eat… ‘less you’re offerin’ yourself up?”
it earns another mild smack to his arm, as he surmised it would. he chuckles and kisses you.
“was worth a shot.”
you mostly expected to enter the bedroom and talk to lip about attending tonight’s dinner again. he’s expressed his thoughts and concerns, his fears and misgivings, and each time, you’ve coaxed him back into believing that things will be okay. you understand where he’s coming from. changes are hard on everyone, especially those they’ve been unkind to. it’s a layer of protectiveness he has ingrained within himself.
but right now, in this moment, although he’s having those heavy thoughts, he’s not panicking or running high on emotions. it takes a while these days for him to get to that point. it’s something he’s actively working on.
“so you’re good?” you ask softly. you still want to check in on him and how he’s doing.
“… you know what? yeah… i’m good. i’m ready.”
he leans forward and kisses you tenderly, one hand under your chin, the other on your stomach.
while it is true that his brain is conjuring the worst things that can happen, it’s also doing something else. he’s thinking about how everything can go wrong, but he’s also thinking about everything that can go right. for so long, he didn’t let himself dare to think too much about the best things that could happen to and for him.
and then you came into his life. he figures if he has the best thing already, it won’t hurt to hope and predict how things will continue to go up. you may have had something to do with that.
“ready to eat, honey? goin’ to make sure your mom gives you the best stuff,” lip coos as he bends towards your stomach. it’s the cutest thing to you; he’s spent a lot of your pregnancy talking to your belly, from rambling about work, to complaining about customers, and narrating stories about his family and from available children’s books.
“don’t know if dinner rolls and cake are what’s good for her,” you muse. he glances up at you with a crooked grin before he refocuses and spreads soft kisses over the expanse of your stomach.
“if they’re good for you, they’re good for her. whatever you want.”
he stands back up to his full height and envelopes your hand in his. you could cry over how sweet he’s being. tonight will definitely be a good night.
“let’s get the kids in the car.”
lip follows your lead out of the room and the two of you are treated to the sight of brandi and freddie watching television. she’s in a pale yellow dress and freddie has a blue button up.
“what happened to your tie?” lip asks with a furrowed brow.
“i didn’t want to wear it,” freddie mumbles with a shake of his head.
“mom said i didn’t have to.”
lip looks at you as you help brandi from the couch. she hops off and giggles at the interaction, looking at lip’s expression of betrayal and yours in sheepishness.
“all spoiled, i swear,” lip murmurs. he gestures to the door.
“let’s go. best behavior tonight, please.”
lip helps you into the passenger seat. you initially try to get in without him, but the extra baby weight has made things a lot more difficult for your equilibrium and strength. so he stands by as you awkwardly try to get in for a minute and then wordlessly approaches and offers aid. you know he just gets a kick out of this, you needing him for almost everything these days. he has plenty excuses to touch you and be near you.
you both make sure the kids are buckled up before he gets into the driver’s seat and pulls out of the driveway. then you’re soon playing songs at the kids’ and lip’s requests. the kids interrupt of course, talking about how excited they are for vacation, the baby, what they have on their bucket lists after hearing their aunt fiona talk about having one last christmas.
brandi wants to eat twenty ice cream sandwiches in one night. to which sparked a craving in you and you pouted at lip until he agreed to buy some tomorrow morning or after dinner depending how it late it is. his own sweet tooth may have further persuaded him without saying.
freddie claims he needs to go to space at some point. he still hasn’t let go of that dream that lip thought he’d outgrow a while back now. and you’re hoping fred has more sense when he’s older because he was talking about you coming with him like you previously discussed. you’re all for his big dreams, but you’d rather stay on earth, thank you.
at the restaurant, you all arrive for your reservation of seven. ian and mickey are a few minutes late, but liam is right on time. they groan alongside lip as you make them scooch in together for a picture. but it’s quite a downside to you that carl isn’t here to complete the brother portrait.
you sit next to lip, freddie at your side, brandi at his, liam at hers, ian at freddie’s, and mickey at his. there’s mini conversations after you all order your drinks. you talk with freddie and ian about school and ian’s neighbors, the possibility of him and mickey considering a kid, something that isn’t new, but they’ve been lingering on the topic a lot more these days. mickey chats with liam and brandi, how she’s going to take lots of pictures using the polaroid camera liam got her while on vacation, how liam’s enjoying college, how mickey is thinking about finding a new job that will use him for more of his skills other than driving, packing, delivering, unpacking, and intimidating.
“daddy, what’s inti… inti… inti-ma-mating mean?”
lip sighs fondly in brandi’s direction. she has spaghetti sauce on her cheek that he wipes first with a napkin.
“somethin’ mickey does at work to scare people. you think uncle mickey’s scary?” he says in a low tone.
she glances over at mickey. he’s in the middle of trying to shove as much garlic bread into his mouth as he can as ian makes an annoyed expression beside him. brandi giggles and turns back to lip.
“no way! uncle mickey’s not scary, daddy!”
lip smiles and nods. it’s flooring how far mickey’s come in his own right. there used to be a time when mickey’s presence meant trouble for everyone. but so much has changed. so, so much.
he reflects on this as he looks over the table amid the eating and the random conversations his family engages in. fiona, debbie, and carl might not be here, but they’re busy with things they’ve made for themselves. fiona texted him a congratulations first thing this morning and when she’s coming down next. debbie’s spending time with her new girlfriend, but promised a play date soon with franny and the kids even though his niece is starting to get to the age where almost everything is lame. carl has patrols to do, but he’s arriving tomorrow for breakfast to see lip and the kids before they’re off for vacation.
lip’s proud of ian for the support groups he’s running and mickey for taking such good care of his brother. and liam? the strides he’s making in college? taking full advantage of the scholarships he’s been granted and excelling like everyone knew he would and knows he will continue to do? it’s astonishing. lip only sees great things for liam.
he’s going to miss the hell out of his kids. they’ll only be gone two weeks, but he always feels lost without seeing them longer than one. by then, he’ll have his degree, and he wishes he can fast forward to that moment to have them back in his arms again.
but there’s an upside to them being away. and that’s having you all to himself. he’ll fawn over you as he’s done your entire pregnancy thus far, and even before, and you two will spend the quality time you crave together. you’re someone he never thought he’d have. while he would rather his kids stay here with him, he’s looking forward to the alone time with you. sleeping in, cuddling, dates, sex, walks you insist on despite how pregnant you are. he’ll grumble as he fits compression socks onto your feet for you, slip your comfort shoes in place, and bundle you up so you’re not too cold. truthfully, he enjoys these long walks. he just wants you to be as relaxed as possible. he prefers you lying down like a dream, head on his shoulder while you eat fruit and he rubs your stomach.
noticing his far away expression, you turn to look at him, glowing.
“you okay?”
he takes a glance over the table again, feeling a number of emotions churning throughout him. among it all, he senses that quiet ache, the idea that he can’t misstep if he wants to keep everything in front of him, because things can change at any moment and the survivor in him is cautious of so called “stability.”
but as time goes on, it’s fading. more distant. not a buried trauma, but a mere, accepted memory. an acquaintance of the past rather than the mortal enemy he used to regard it as.
so this… this moment, surrounded by people he loves, all of them celebrating him and his accomplishment he used to doubt would ever come into fruition, he sees it beyond the pessimistic perspective he used to rely on.
“yeah,” he mumbles as he turns to look at you.
you’re so beautiful. all his.
“yeah… i’m good. thank you for this.”
he takes your hand and kisses the back of it, lingering a few seconds with his lips pressed against your flesh. you smile at him, squeezing his hand once he lowers yours.
“okay, pretty girl, put those eyes away. you’re hoggin’ all of mommy’s attention.”
“don’t tell me you’re jealous of a four month old.”
“no… but it’s like she knows how cute she is.”
as if on cue, celine gurgles from her carriage. she hums the coo of a dove, her tiny covered feet kicking back and forth. both you and lip look at her and her bright eyes, the gentle sounds seemingly plucking the strings of some nearby invisible harp. her cherubic face is too damn cute.
“see? she’s weaponizin’ it. needs everyone’s focus at every second of the day. right, baby? want us fallin’ over how sweet you are?”
his voice lowers in volume, a particular gentle quality to it, his hand migrates to her chest, and his fingers tickle her soft skin with little taps. she gurgles a breathy laugh, mimicking your wide smiles. toothless and gummy, but happy and adorable. just as much as the attention thief as lip claims.
“hey, now you’re stealing your daddy’s attention from me,” you playfully quip. lip grins and looks up at you, retrieving his hand back from your daughter.
“can’t help it. she looks just like you.”
you pause for a moment. for some reason, despite how often it happens, lip’s casual flirting catches you off guard. he hasn’t lost that skill of his that triggers an ambush of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. so infuriatingly charming.
“relax. we’re already married.”
lip chuckles at your response. it’s not like either of you will honor that. you’ll continue to flirt no matter the title your relationship holds. and even if you’re teasing, you flash him a smile. a sly one, a sultry one. the kind that warns him he’s going to get lucky soon (once celine actually falls asleep and you two have a short window of time).
“how are we doing over here? need anything else? refills?”
“no, thank you. can we get the ch—”
“could use some slices of pie,” lip chimes in.
you realize you almost forgot what you two were doing here in the first place. of course lip wants his pie. it’s become tradition.
“right, right. what is it now? eight or nine years married?”
do you feel guilty that susan, the waitress from one of the diners you and lip frequent, still thinks you two have been married that long when in reality, you’ll be going on two years this year? somewhat. you don’t have the heart to tell her the truth, that you and lip have deceived her, and others, for free dessert.
it’s a staple of your relationship. the first time you and lip went out anywhere together, you scored him the free pie, he overshared, and you displayed to him that he could tell you anything without you judging him too harshly. he’s not his past. he’s the man in front of you, the family kind, a good father, and you love him, as he loves you. growth can feel slow at times, but it’s satisfying to look back and see how far you’ve really crossed.
and he’s miles from where you two started.
“… m’eight years sober,” lip says, surprising you and susan.
you blink at lip, schooling your face to keep the shock off of it. while that is the reason you two are here today, it’s usually something lip avoids discussing with people outside of his family. he veils it and its possible repercussions and incoming judgments.
but lip smiles at you softly. it conveys that things are okay, that this is his choice, that… he’s proud of how far he’s come and he wants to celebrate today honestly and transparently.
“oh, well… congratulations. i’ll get you two that pie,” susan says after a momentary pause. she shuffles awkwardly away. she clearly didn’t want to be rude.
“we probably won’t get that free now,” lip murmurs. his smile broadens as you laugh.
he’s unbelievable. still astonishing. you could cry over what this means. you probably will later when you two are in private and you inevitably reiterate how proud you are of him.
“that’s okay. it’s on me,” you reassure.
“and then i get the rest of the check?”
you sheepishly hide your smirk as you glance at celine. you rock her carriage, busying yourself from his knowing stare. it’s hard to treat each other when mostly everything has become the both of yours.
but lip doesn’t care. he’s too excited for his pie and to give celine her first taste of the decadent filling.
“where are we?”
“grab cece and follow me.”
you huff in suspicion as you click your seatbelt off and get out of the car. you extract celine from her carseat and lip shuts the door gently behind you.
you’re not sure where you and lip are. he drove you here, a few buildings in the area, traffic light, but continuous. you were positive you two were going home after lunch at the diner together, but it seems he has other plans he didn’t discuss with you.
“what are we doing?” you ask, trying to get an answer despite how he wouldn’t budge on the way here once you realized it wasn’t the route to the house.
“shh, come on.”
you grumble and adjust celine. she babbles her noises as you walk into the building with lip. he doesn’t bother with the switch, and given the state of open space, it doesn’t look like any electricity is running through it. there’s scuff marks on the floor, but it’s wide, and the walls appear to have some dust. you hope celine won’t get any in her little nose.
lip puts his arms out. he gestures to the general room.
“what do you think?”
your confusion further manifests as you look at lip. you even turn your head to see if celine understands anything, but as surmised, she’s glancing around, taking in her surroundings with the wonder she looks at everything with, with her big, curious, delicate eyes.
“what do i think? about what?”
he grins at your endearing bewilderment. he should’ve anticipated you wouldn’t get it off a look alone, but he’s far too elated himself at the prospect before you two.
he steps closer, hope on his features, a soft expression he adorns. his hands take your hips, his smile growing as celine gurgles happily with his proximity.
“… your new studio,” he whispers.
your head tilts in surprise as you look at him. you’re still incredibly confused by the prospect and what he means. this is an empty place. it’s… it has a lot more room than the rec center does, but you can’t comprehend the idea he’s proposing.
but still, lip persists. he does so with strokes of his thumbs on your hips, something cheeky in his eyes, sparkling too. the same twinkle you see in celine’s. she reflects his wide grin like a mirror.
“what do you think of your new dance studio?” he asks, leaving no room for misinterpretation. he really means it.
this place… he thinks it’s yours. with so much conviction that you’re afraid he might’ve already done something impulsive without talking to you first.
“well, take a look around. go ahead.”
he reaches for celine and plucks her from your arms. in the process, he kisses her on her forehead, then lifts her up to kiss her on her tummy, her tiny giggles breaking through your stunned demeanor. he settles her into his arms, softly swaying to keep her entertained.
quietly, you walk past her and lip and look around at the scene. whoever owned this previously, or currently because you don’t believe lip did something so rash without a heads up or indication, took very good care of the area. the floor is sturdy, in need of some scrubbing, but you already picture yourself able to land gracefully without trouble against your better judgement. you imagine brandi running across with all of her never ending energy and freddie stretching with lip when they’re all waiting up for you. the walls may be bare and barren, but they’d do nicely with floor to ceiling mirrors. the potential is there. a blank canvas for you to play with.
shit… you’re already envisioning and feeding into lip’s suggestion. you don’t want to jump the gun, but it’s hard not to imagine all the ways you can transform the space now that lip’s planted this into your head.
“m’thinkin’ we can build a stage. debs will help map out the construction and then with the actual project,” he explains. you turn to look at him, still trying to wrap your mind around the idea.
“there’s like two back rooms and some restrooms. could use ‘em for storage or for meetings… or a backstage area before the recitals. there’s room to work with. whatever you want.”
whatever you want. you don’t know how you’re supposed to respond to that. while you want to leap for joy, you also have to inhale a deep breath and be realistic for a second. which is funny, because that’s usually more of lip’s area, pulling you down from the clouds when you’re overzealous.
“and how are we supposed to afford all of this?” you ask cautiously. you don’t want to hurt his feelings when this is such a thoughtful gesture. yet, you’re also unsure how this will be in the budget when you two are supposed to be house hunting.
but he still looks enthused as he fixes celine’s shirt and then looks back at you.
“fiona made an investment for me and bought it. so, technically, it’s hers and we gotta pay her back in payments, but i know it’ll be easy with how much your students love you, and she said not to worry too much about doin’ it all at once.”
you stare at lip and as you do, it hits you just how much he’s considered behind your back. he found it, talked about it with his sisters, and it didn’t come at the expense of the money you two are saving for your future.
“don’t stress, alright? we’ll pay her back and i’m pretty sure i’m gettin’ a new job soon. this hot chick i know told me she can feel it.”
normally, with an obvious comment of lip referring to you, you’d playfully roll your eyes. but instead, as you stare at him and his smirking face, your lips quiver as you try to hold back your smile. you told him that after he complained about sending so many job applications out with no response the other day. it seems to have comforted him more than you originally thought.
if he can think negatively, he can think positively. he actively chooses more of the latter these days.
“what?” he asks as you stare at him.
you’re too in awe, too gracious. for the man he is, for the man he’s become, for how he’s yours. holding your daughter that he had a hand in giving you while standing in a new to-be-dance studio he acquired for you to continue in your career you’re still severely passionate about. eight years of sobriety, chain-smoking, shit talking, shamelessly himself—your husband who you love, who loves you, looking forward with chosen optimism.
“i love you. thank you for… everything,” you mutter, feeling tears spring to your eyes.
“of course, i love you, too… please don’t cry, baby, you’re gonna get cece goin’.”
you enter lip’s embrace and hide your face into his neck for that reason. you don’t want to make celine cry, but the happy tears are coming full force. he rubs your back soothingly with his free hand, adjusting celine so he can hold you both at the same time.
“you’re going to build me a stage?” you ask in a muffled voice. you smile wide as his chuckle vibrates against your body.
“mhm… for all your little nightmares to prance around on.”
you laugh softly. you know damn well he cares about your students considering how involved he’s been throughout the years. and not just because of brandi.
“and we’re still going to see that house i told you about near ian’s?” you ask hopefully.
he nods.
“yeah. we need more room, don’t we?”
you most definitely do. that dream is still bright and alive.
a forever house with multiple rooms for you, lip, celine, brandi, and freddie.
… and the set of twin boys you’re currently carrying that neither of you have any idea about yet. it’s too early to tell.
Am I heartbroken that it's all over? Yes. But am I happy with the ending? Abosolutely YES.
I love how, before the impromptu wedding in Vegas, Lip and MDL had discussed marriage. He was a bit warry of it in the beginning, but slowly started to want it for himself, not just for MDL.
I love how both their families were there, and Kev and Veronica were there, too. I wished we got to see Freddie and Bambi, but again, it was impromptu.
We got to see how Lip finds out about Celine, by surprise. I love how despite all that is on his plate, finishing school and his job, he had something happy to look forward to. And I am happy that Freddie and Bambi got to find out before everyone else in the family, since they missed the Vegas wedding.
Also I can totally see Bambi having tons of fun dressing up her baby sister.
I really liked how Lip was kinda expecting MDL to tell her sister first, but she didn't and that warmed his heart because she was thinking of him first.
I think Lip has come a long way, from always thinking when something good is happening to him, it can all be taken away, to finally being able to be genuinely happy. Like being married, and not worrying the relationship is going to fail, and being confident it is forever.
But he still Lip and he still has worries, like celebrating his upcoming degree. Worried something could go wrong and it could be taken away, but it isn't an overwhelming dread, anymore. Being worried about potential disaster, is always going to be part of Lip's life but he now knows how to manage it.
I just love how the Gallaghers, despite all living very separate and busy lives, still find time to be there for each other.
The ending was so beautiful. The ballet studio was just a fantasy in the beginning of the story and it is now a reality. It's a great way to close the chapter because it represent the next phase in their lives.
MDL is going to be able to do so much more for the children in her little dance community. Bambi and Celine are going to greatly benefit from this upgrade. Lip and Freddie are definitely going to help out and so is the rest of the Gallaghers.
I love how settled Lip is with getting the studio for MDL. This kinda thing would have overwhelmed him in the beginning of the story, but he is so sure that it will be a success because he believes in MDL. Plus, her fanbase is going to follow her anywhere.
Also I think it's interesting that at the end of the story, Lip hasn't secured a new job yet, but isn't spiraling. He knows now he has to be patient.
I love how there is so much to look forward to in the end, the future is so bright for Lip and MDL. I am sad we will not be able to see anymore of it but I am so happy we are left with a happy ending.
Im so not ready for you to leaveee😭😭 en avant has been a HUGE part of my life this year, and ive been reading ur fics /blurb for so long now too, and i suck at goodbyes😭💗
I still haven't written my little notes for the last chapter because im avoiding it SO BAD LMAOOOO triggering my abandonment issues with that fic, but at the same time it was the perfect ending, and i will hold dear all the asks u responded about en avant universe
It truly is one of the greatest piece of fiction ive found online. I will hold u dear to my heart forever I4I 💗
I SUCK AT GOODBYES TOO )))): 😭 i’m sorry i really had so much fun coming on here and writing and yapping esp with you queen i loved running to our messages to discuss characters and life and chisme HAHHA
i’m anticipating and looking forward to reading them cause yk i love them i always reread several times bc they warm my heart and you really grasp the details i love love love thank u
HOLDING U IN MY HEART and will be thinking positively of you at all times so you can always get the best out of the universe even if we don’t speak!
"… and the set of twin boys you’re currently carrying that neither of you have any idea about yet. it’s too early to tell."
OMG OMG OMGGGGGGG 😭😭😭😭
Baby, I'm gonna miss you so, SO much, there are literally tears in my eyes as I type this out. You're incredible, I love you dearly. I've written to you a couple of time over the course of this last year in regards to en avant and I've already expressed my feelings about your departure from the app, but I wanted to say a bit more now that you're officially finished.
Thank you for this. Thank you for being here and giving us this story and mdl, I'll cherish and will come back to her for as long as you'll have it up here. Thank you for giving our boy Lip this incredible girl and giving him this chance for a family and love and happiness.
Also, THANK YOU for Bear and Dove's finale, omg I LOVED IT!!!! I didn't write anything about it at the time bc I was waiting for you to post en avant's last instalment to kind of get it all out.
Whatever journey life is about to take you to and wherever you'll find yourself in the process, I want you to know that your dedication and your talent to this account is the greatest gift and I felt truly honored to be apart of it all.
I'm so happy I found you a year ago, you became one of the best parts of my week and if I had a chance? I'd give you the tightest hug. You're so bright and talented and I know that talent is taking you to bigger and greater places where you'll shine even brighter.
As I've already said, I'll miss you and I love you dearly. Thank you for everything, my love. <3
i know we discussed it before but i had to put it in the chapter to have some kind of surefire confirmation 🤧 their twins will eventually bless and turn their lives upside down lol
BUT I LOVE YOU and thank u sm for reading and for following along with me ))): stuff like this is making me miss all of you so much more because i appreciate every message and every word.
it did wind up becoming a fix it fic but i want those more tragic chars who go thru so much hardship to get their happy endings and i’m so happy i was able to give lip one that was fulfilling and warming and it was an emotional rollercoaster for me too!!!
and YES bear and dove are also endgame and eventually have their happy ending in my head~~~
thank you for your kind words i really put a lot of thought and effort into everything and it has been so rewarding to come on here and share my art and have such a lovely community embrace me like i wanna embrace yall back and squeeze ):
i send u love and happiness and ofc want you to experience the best of life. truly sending out positive energy for all of you cause i want yall to THRIVE
can we chat? kkk i wanna know how do you think the morning after was for bear and dove, idk what to think BUT i’ll kick carmy if he ignores everything that happened! do you think bear and dove sre endgame? or it was just a little thing before he gets with claire? 😢
if i had gone further, i think i would’ve written him waking up with bed head, hair messy, and a bit disoriented. then everything comes flying back to him all at once as he realizes he’s still tangled up with dove in bed. i think he would try to separate and incidentally wake her and she’d give him a sleepy smile which would lead to morning sex and breakfast together.
he would try his best to wean himself off, but now that the line has been crossed, she makes it harder on him. it’d go from him being unable to resist, and then when he tells himself they shouldn’t be doing this, she teases him more in a public space. which again leads him to giving into those desires.
in doing so, they’d grow closer. he gets jealous easily, scoffs at the idea of her dating anyone else, they have late night chats, discussions of what makes them happy, playing hooky together so they can explore other things outside of work. he has fun. that’s what it is. there are obligations and he forgets himself.
eventually uncle jimmy would catch them. which is BAD but i feel like it’d be at a family event and god is it an implosion. a huge deal. and carmen distances bc he hurts so many people in the process, dove included, because he thinks he ruined everything. but time passes and he can’t stop thinking about her and i think i’d work my way to some kind of endgame.
nothing stays bad in my fics and versions of things 🤧 i love happy endings. if claire is there, she’s not permanent and she is not carmy’s love.
l4l, it took me a while, but i finally came up with an en avant blurb (or discussion?? whatever you've got the energy for) idea i like! i have honestly been thinking about when mdl and lip are speculating on what it would've been like if they'd met earlier ever in pillowcases and rightful fears since i read it. i think i ultimately agree with mdl that it still would've worked but i think. it would've been a process. would love your thoughts!
i think about it SO so SO MUCH alternate universes where they met at different stages in their lives.
personally, i was a moody ass teenager, bc i was dealing w sm and big emotions yall know those feelings, so i think mdl would be in a similar place, esp with her regime in dance.
they would’ve CLASHED nonstop. i picture him flirting with her a lot, but he’s still hung up on other people. i think in a way, he would still put her on this pedestal, but more unattainable than before, to where he may flirt, but he doesn’t see reader as an option. his ego is like TRY but the seriousness she comes with would terrify him. they’d be besties if they met that young bc she’s a loyal person and they’d be able to peel back insecurities and worries together, knowing the world is harsh but at least they can rely on each other???
those walls would eventually come down. if they met that early, they’d still take time to come together. when they’re both more mature.
if they met as young adults, there’d be high chemistry. i think they’d be able to lean on each other during tumultuous times of their lives. this, to me, would be the most confident lip is. he’d ask her out much sooner and make his pursuing clear. but he also had so much going on during this era of his life that he’d fall more off the rails. she’d witness that while also juggling loss and change. i think they’d pick each other up, but it’d be rocky. there has to be a balance between being there and yet making sure they can stand upright by being their own people as well. they’d be in a faster relationship, but not without plenty of pitfalls that lead them to later depths of self-actualization.
but what do you think??? or anyone else??? i have tried to envision it a lot. it’s fun to play around with lol.
ideas for en avant: domestic-y things like going out w the kids to eat, celebrating holidays; maybe more mdl and freddie together; seeing them celebrate an anniversary 🥹; mdl celebrating a big moment / accomplishment lip has
hey, love, huge thank you for inspiring the final chapter and for the ideas for the blurbs!!! linking them for you to find as well as others for the convenience. i really spent a lot of time thinking about your message obviously 😭
lip and mdl spend halloween together
a glimpse into a future gallagher christmas
freddie gets in trouble at school
lip allegedly forgets your one year anniversary
these are all on the en avant masterlist, but i wanted to show that i did get to these suggestions. also, in case you haven’t read and i don’t spoil, your ideas may be lurking in the final installment 🤧❤️❤️❤️
