Diary

Feel free to interact with my posts or ask me questions, just so long as you're not a dick about it

[druddigoon]

the biggest waste of food

[missingrache]

Which reminds me. The work colleague who makes display signage using AI art is finally getting told to knock it off bc a reference librarian overheard some patrons mocking said AI art the other day and also bc we got a write in comment about how disappointed the commenter was that the public library ie an information center would use AI. We come to the brick and mortar library to get away from that etc etc etc. So, you know. Be loud and annoying about it in public, maybe you’ll get lucky and it’ll do something.

[l4vendermenace]

What is even the point of the weekend if they're still going to make us work during it??

In school, my classes are supposed to give us the weekend off. But they still give us homework, that they expect us to do on our own time, just like they do every other day of the week. We only get a few hours of that day back (to do homework) bc they don't make us come in to class that day.

It's becoming especially apparent to me now that I'm taking 2 summer classes this session. I've been so busy with homework. On the days I don't have hw for one class due, I have homework for the other class due. Every day. Takes me the whole day to complete. 12 hours I will never get back.

The only breaks I get when I have no hw due is Tuesday & Saturday. And I spend all that time relaxing so I can get my energy back for the rest of the week. All I do every day is sleep and work.

I don't even have time to engage in my hobbies because I'm too swamped, & if I'm not working then I'm recuperating from exhaustion. In 4 weeks (that's 20 days of nonstop grind) I've burned out so quick that I'm skipping my assignment today, even though normally I don't skip work because I'm very academically motivated.

I want to do good at my classes and get A's/B's, but maybe not at the expense of all of my time, energy, and sanity.

I started working into the early hours of the morning to finish all my work, but then that turned into not being able to stay awake during the day & doing all my work at night, having to skip events during the day bc I'm either not conscious or too busy working, or I fall asleep midway thru like I did yesterday.

Truly hellish time I'm having over here lol

Everyone is telling me I need to fix my body clock so I'm not sleeping thru the day, but to do that, I need more than one day to adjust. And I only get one day of break before another day of work. Two non-consecutive days of break total in my week. My nonexistent weekend is not serving me well at all

I can't do thisss

I would drop the worse summer class of the two, but I need the credits so I'll be allowed to take the upper division classes I signed up for this coming academic term

Ugh

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[l4vendermenace]

Why the fuck is everyone so insistent on just sitting by & letting these people do/say whatever the hell they want lmaoo

Some conservatives are coming to my school to talk their bullshit, & I've gone to two different friends groups who both have attended (peaceful) protests/rallies before saying that I wanna go. They know I have 'progressive politics' or whatever, so they know that I wanna go so that I can protest these right wing assholes.

And yet both said the exact same thing, being like 'oh don't give them attention, they'll be filming, you'll be giving them what they want, better to not go & that'll embarrass them (no it won't)

But what the fuck else are we supposed to do??? Just let them?? Not push back at all??

Fucking cowards bro omg

Talking about how I'll be 'perpetuating negative stereotypes'

WHAT STEREOTYPES?? Is it negative to fucking protest now??? Bruh

[guerrillatech]

[tearlessrain]

sometimes someone will casually mention using chatgpt or some other generative ai thing and I can actually feel the little

above my head

[l4vendermenace]

CW: Parental Abuse

The game Schoolboy Runaway has been getting super popular lately, and I only just watched a playthru on YouTube. But omg it genuinely unlocked a childhood memory for me. Ever since I moved out of my parents place for college, I've had way less contact with them & they've gotten a lot less strict, so I had legitimately started to forget why exactly I hated my parents SO much when I was younger. But watching the player get yelled at (and hit) whenever his parents saw him outside his room brought back a core memory of lockdown school for me. I forget what brought it on, but my mom had a phase of like a month or two where she would make me do my homework at the desk outside on the landing, so when she walked past the stairs she wouldn't have to come all the way up to check that I was working, she could just look up the stairs & see if I was at the desk. There were multiple times where I got yelled at because I was using the bathroom when she just so happened to be making her rounds. Or one time when I decided to do my homework at the desk in my bedroom instead of out on the landing (because I didn't like the constant feeling of being watched, & at least my bedroom had walls & a door that I could close). As soon as my mom saw I wasn't at the outside desk, she stormed upstairs into my room, threw the door open, and started yelling at me about slacking off & not doing my homework. But I literally was doing my homework??? And I've always been a good student who cared about their grades & did every single homework assignment. I just wasn't sitting at the right desk :/ I told her that I was actually working & I didn't even get an apology lolll. Eventually she stopped patrolling & I was allowed to go back to doing my work in my room.

All this to say; thank you media about abusive parents, for reminding me of why I hate mine

[l4vendermenace]

Tell me why sometimes it really feels like I'm the only one who *actually* cares

People say they care, but then they say/do something that just proves to me that they don't actually

Am I the only one who actually means what they say?? And who sticks to their principles??

"Fuck generative AI, but I use it for my schoolwork," "but I use it to make funny images" "but I like the media/art it creates"

"That guy's lowkey homophobic & transphobic & was weird to one of us (which is bad), but he let us borrow his measuring cup so let's give him some cake as a show of good will"

"Fuck that CEO, but he didn't deserve to die, violence wasn't the answer, & Luigi needs to do time in jail"

"Yeah your grandma was emotionally abusive to both of us, but we should lie about her being nice at her funeral bc you shouldn't disrespect the dead"

"Fuck Turning Point USA & I wish they weren't tabling at our campus, but don't throw food at them, you'll just make it worse"

You people are actually going to drive me fucking insane

Am I the only motherfucker with an actual goddamn SPINE???