tagging: @tremblinglycoris / @xhinsou / @bloomingdecadence / and anyone who wants to do this!
GHOSTS.
Your pain takes the shape of ghosts, haunting you, always there. No one would believe you if you told them, or understand even if they did. You don’t know how to make them go away, or what they want. They just follow you, casting shadows over all you do, being your fears and the embodiment of all you’ve lost or are afraid of losing. They can’t touch you though . . . can they?
hello! just a little heads up that activity will be spotty for the next few weeks because of school o/ you can find me on my twitter or discord (ivy#3271) in the meantime!
He sneered at that name, “he doesn’t control me anymore.” Dazai glared, his insides twist- huh Oda really was from that far in the past, wasn’t he? Thinking that he was apart of the Mafia, “I left four years ago and I’m never going back… I burn the clothes he gave me.” His body shook, that bastard was getting him worked up and he wasn’t even here and Osamu hated that. He hated how that poisonous asshole still clung onto his life.
Ah. So he doesn’t know about the children Chuuya was right, “that happened a while ago for me… I’ve worked out that people get taken from random points in time… I mean I was eighteen from where you are, I’m twenty-two now.” He let out a cold laugh, “that day at the Lupin was probably the best thing for you to remember… so much happened.” He couldn’t tell Odasaku his future, could he? If they ever went back what would happen to his time? This was odd.
Dazai leans more into Oda, his fingers gliding up Odasaku’s arms. “I was in jail, I got arrested for crimes that Ango removed from my records…” Dazai sighed, “I’m glad I’m here but I also just feel so empty and alone..” truth seemed to just come out when he was with Oda, was he thankful for that? He was not sure.
“Sakunosuke… please don’t leave me.”
wait- four years?
does that mean he had been gone for four years? that explains dazai’s sudden growth spurt... and chuuya’s strange behavior. what about the orphans under his care though? they relied only on him for daily necessities... “what happened?” interjecting someone in the middle of their sentence is not something that saku is proud of, but he needs to know.
grabs dazai by his shoulder to face him, cerulean against brown. the feline before them suddenly forgotten. “sorry, dazai. if i’ve been gone for four years, did someone take care of the orphans?”
“it must’ve been a difficult time for you to be in jail. i should’ve been there as your friend,” gaze lowers to the ground. he really missed four years of everyone’s life, huh... no wonder there was something different with the people he had met. a bitter taste spreads on his tongue as he continues, fingers buried within brunet locks. “i can’t promise you anything, but i’ll try to stay with you while we’re here.”
whether it be melodies that give you inspiration for your muse or songs that get you into the writing mood — pick 10 songs you find to give you the urge, the drive, or the creativity to write for your muse
nicotine - panic! at the disco
bloody shirt - to kill a king (bastille remix)
link - l’arc~en~ciel
風が吹く街 - lucklife
secrets - one republic
learn my lesson - daughtry
you found me - the fray
千の夜をこえて - aquatimez
the projectionist - sleeping at last
flightless bird, american mouth - iron & wine
tagged by: stolen from @tremblinglycoris
tagging: feel free to grab this one!
morning streams in, light blue and gentle yellows filtering through the almost translucent blinds against a pair of fluttering eyelids. sakunosuke opens his eyes, blinks the stickiness away for a brief moment until he can see the chipped paint of his room’s ceiling. within minutes, the sun will turn harsh. within minutes, the city will stir once again.
waking up like this feels almost foreign to him; there’s no alarm blaring right next to his ear–or nightmares that forces his brain to wake up prematurely. he thinks of it as an anomaly until the weight inside his arms and the feeling of warm skin against cool ones grounds him to reality.
ah, no wonder his back stings.
but that’s something to worry about later. for now, he listens to the soft, even humming–love on the horizon, in the air, between his fingertips. he inhales–his senses fills with the younger so he takes another deep breath, buries a soft kiss upon the dark strands as he wraps his arms tighter around the sleeping figure, tries to close the nonexistent distance between them.
seeing ango like this is a rare privilege that sakunosuke has no intention of wasting. he likes to think that their meeting here is a second chance; to both redeem himself and to finally fulfill a promise they made to each other. it’s not rome, but he’s fairly sure the scenery is nothing compared to this.
calloused thumb trails upon the mole by ango’s upper lip. sakunosuke thinks he looks so serene like this so he plants a gentle peck upon the other’s eyelid. and maybe the attention-seeker part of him just wants ango to wake up so they can start their day together, eat breakfast together, shower together, say ‘good morning’ to each other–everything yokohama is too busy to grant them.
which turns out to be a success, judging from the way ango’s eyelids flutter open and he blinks tiredly, only to have his features soften the moment hazel lands upon unfaltering azure.
“good morning, saku-san.”
a smile blooms upon his features–almost uncharacteristically of him–and he replies;
but sakunosuke remember how it began; in the kitchen by the stove, spices wafting in the air, frost on the windowsill, bodies huddled close together for warmth. they’re chatting animatedly–micah talking about putting cinnamons in hot chocolate and saku listening the best he can as he makes sure not to burn the cream soup inside the pot. years living in the streets had taught him that nothing can beat a warm meal during cold days.
he can also recall micah asking if he could have a taste of the soup he’s cooking, because he thought that it smells delicious. and saku lets him, a little pleased that he didn’t mess up the smell this time, but not without blowing the spoon first so it wouldn’t burn his roommate’s tongue.
which brought him to another predicament.
“ah-”
a few drops of soup has landed upon the skin of micah’s cheek on accident, smearing the skin close to the corner of his lips, all thanks to sakunosuke’s careless blowing. it doesn’t stop him from feeding the cooled down soup to his roommate though. “sorry,” he mutters an apology without missing a beat right after. he still needs adjusting to the domestic life, huh… “let me clean that up for you.”
of course, saku had all the options in the world to simply put the ladle down and wipe it off of micah’s cheek with a napkin like any normal person would–or maybe use his thumb to scrape it off gently. but at that time he felt like it’ll be too much work, to put down the ladle where the soup will definitely drip down to the kitchen counter and leave more mess than he already made.
so instead, he opts for the simplest route; lean down and lick the liquid off of micah’s cheek. their lips brush together gently, a creamy yet savory taste spreading on his palate along with something else. could it be lipbalm?
there’s a brief pause when sakunosuke pulls away, a contemplative look upon his face.
Congradulations, Oda Sakunosuke on reaching the RESIDENT Ranking. You may now start your own business, if you so choose and have been given an upgraded phone with a new application titled TRUTH-SEEKER. Best of luck in any new endeavours.
‘my own business, huh…’
if being a detective doesn’t work out, should he try opening a curry restaurant instead? not that he can beat the one boss makes at yokohama though.
at least now he’s one step closer to uncovering the truth behind koi.
a.n: yes, this is supposed to be a five-hundred words drabble chronicling odasaku’s stay in koi. no, i don’t know what hit me ;;
he opens his eyes and everything is too bright.
ears ringing, head pounding, eyelids feeling like they weigh a ton each. his first instinct is to raise a hand to obstruct the sunlight from coming into his eyes, blinking the pain away until he’s able to make out the green of the trees and blue of the sky.
then he hears the muffled screams, coming from somewhere in front of him. sakunosuke rises to his feet, struggling to stave off the oncoming wave of nausea by propping both hands on his knees, vision still adjusting as he looks for the source of the noise. it takes him a few seconds to realize that he is standing on a parking lot somewhere, another few to spot a white van parked not far from him as the source of the screams.
sakura? and yuu… and kousuke. what’s going on?
adrenaline takes over before any rational thoughts does; sakunosuke doesn’t even know why he springs straight into action and sprints towards the van at the sight, stumbling on his own foot once or twice in the process. he does know that there's an inexplicable sense of urgency that tells him to run as fast as he can, to not stop until he has all five of them safe in his arms- to tell them that he's there, it's going to be okay, they're going to be——
the explosion that occurs right after sends him flying thirty meters backwards, hot air hitting his face without mercy as he crashes upon the gravel. sakunosuke briefly registers the pain blooming all over his body, ignores the sting of scrapes and cuts on his skin as he stares at the burning car before him, throat burning from the cry of anguish that doesn’t sound anything like his voice.
he thrashes wildly on his bed and his head knocks against the headboard, jolting him awake.
he opens his eyes and darkness is the first thing that greets him.
breathing comes in mouthful of air and painful inhales, memories of the black smoke from his dreams constricting against his lungs. yet the throbbing pain upon his joints feels like a fleeting sensation, almost like a mere ghost, now that he’s back in the comfort of his apartment in koi. for a moment everything is disoriented, mind still hazy from the sudden shift to consciousness.
sakunosuke attempts to sit up straight, hands grasping on the front side of his abdomen only to release a relieved sigh when his fingertips comes in contact with a damp t-shirt. there’s no trace of gravel- only the crumpled surface of his bed sheets and his own perspiration making his shirt cling onto him like a second skin.
nightmare. it’s just a nightmare- an extremely realistic one at that, too.
heaves a sigh, fingers brushing his own bangs off of his forehead. the frequency between one terror-filled night to another is getting shorter and shorter for his liking. sakunosuke steps out of his bed and discards the shirt he's wearing, crumpling it into a ball before throwing the gray cloth into the laundry basket. the fact that it was about his children this time isn’t helping at all. could it be because he's been missing them more lately?
azure shifts to the digital clock on his nightstand, red lines making out the shape of ‘03:56 AM’ jarring amidst the darkness. it’s too early to get up and make coffee, yet too late to fall back to sleep when he has work in three hours. maybe getting fresh air would do him good...
and by fresh air, he meant retrieving a cigarette pack and ashtray that he swore off not to touch a couple of months ago from his socks compartment.
the sky is still a dark shade of blue when he slides open the door to the balcony. sakunosuke leans against the railing as he plucks a cigarette from its container and clamp it between his lips, taking notice of that the streets down under isn’t as quiet as he thought it would be. but then again it’s only natural with the belladonna district only a short walk away.
an idea to grab his coat and walk around the said district crosses his mind. being a member of the port mafia granted him access to a lot of places that most people rarely think of going into in yokohama. he can’t help but wonder if the nightlife district in koi is similar to the ones they have back home.
although he wouldn’t be surprised if they end up kicking him out, now that he’s a detective for the local police force.
taking a drag of his cigarette, he lets his mind wander off to the distance, relishing the pleasant burn that trails down in his throat. the night air is cool, yet not particularly harsh upon the bare skin of his abdomen. he waits for a few seconds to exhale—just to get that little kick before releasing the smoke through his mouth. a little bit of nicotine never fails to soothe his jotting nerves, even after the most horrifying of nightmares or traumatizing event.
ah, right- he forgot to check on his roommate. hopefully he didn’t wake micah up with his little incident from before. he has been nothing but accommodating throughout they time cohabiting together, even with that one awkward first dinner where sakunosuke took the initiative to cook spicy curry for both of them. it was sakunosuke’s first time sharing something so personal as a living space with someone else other than his mentor and micah’s presence feels almost natural around him, although he probably still needs to work on his own conversing skills with the latter.
to think about it… how long has it been since he arrived in koi? sakunosuke had lost track of the time. with the abrupt change happening in his lifestyle, he didn’t have the luxury of sitting around idly on the living room, having to go job hunting and get accustomed to the odd city he finds himself stranded in. it was fortunate that he managed to land a job in a cafe despite not having any prior experience in the hospitality or the restaurant business.
he doesn’t suppress the smile that quirks the corner of his lips when he recalls his former? boss’ words to him after their first encounter in the cafe. ‘it suits you’ chuuya had said when he served his tea to him. those three words—although simple ( and funny, coming from a port mafia executive )—left a lasting impression more than saku think it could. who would’ve known someone like him could also play the role of an ordinary barista? a child groomed since young to be a deadly assassin only to join the mafia afterwards, now playing house by making tea and serving cakes? makes him think that maybe, the black of his blood and gushing red on his hands can really be a thing of his past. that maybe, he can redeem himself completely.
then there’s the girl he met by the river after causing her to drop her crepe. the girl with large round eyes, yet no trace of the innocence most kids her age usually possess. what was her name again… kyouka? kyouka izumi? looking at her almost makes him feel like he’s seeing a reflection of his past self--except more hopeful, and loved. they have only met once but sakunosuke is sincere when he hopes that she could lead a better life than he did.
his eyes drift towards a small potted flower near him as he releases another puff of smoke. it comes as a surprise to him that the begonia flowers he purchased from oichi’s workplace hasn’t wilted yet. sakunosuke has never been a potted flowers type of person before, as he considers them too beautiful- too fragile for someone like him to touch, but he didn’t put much thought into buying it since he wanted to congratulate the oichi for landing a job there. there's just something about her that makes him want to stay close, to make sure that her well-being is taken care of. is this what one would call as platonic affection?
speaking of affection… two brunettes are the first that come to mind.
first is dazai. his friend, who also happens to be one of the port mafia executives—or at least former, according to dazai himself. out of the other familiar faces he had encountered throughout the city, dazai was the one he didn’t see coming at all. it’s almost as if he’s a completely different person now... the way he’s dressed, the way the baby fats are gone and replaced by strong lines and sharp edges, shoulder much broader and nearly a head taller than the last time he had seen him. his gaze is also no longer hollow but melancholic, almost—for the lack of a better word—soft. dazai said it has been years since their last meeting that night in lupin, so sakunosuke supposes that not even a human conundrum like him can escape from time’s grasp.
and ango. ango, ango, ango——
something stings inside his chest at the thought of the bespectacled man. sakunosuke used to think that he is the farthest thing from emotional, knows that rationality should precede any form of sentimental value, and yet he still finds himself upset at ango’s condition when he, from all people should know how disconcerting it is to lose a chunk of one’s memories. the city did it to him- to them. it’s unfair to blame one person for something he cannot help at all.
but that’s what ango has been capable of doing from the start, right? bringing out a side of him that even sakunosuke doesn’t know exist for the better or worse, knowing where to hit and where to stroke gently, his limit and what he’s capable of.
and subsequently spurred saku to take that trust fall years ago.
“i want to take you around the streets of rome."
a shadow of a smile creeps up to his lips as he thumbs the ghost of a kiss upon his knuckle. although koi is not rome, they can make do with what they have now. like they usually do.
the sky has turned into a splash of indigo and coral by the time sakunosuke is done with his third stick. he takes one last drag—the longest one he had that morning—before extinguishing it on the ashtray and disposing the leftovers to the nearest trash bin. it’s a routine that he finds himself still unable to give up, rooting from the guilt of breaking a promise he made years ago with a certain someone. although they aren’t physically there to reprimand him, sakunosuke prefers to think that they’re always with him, in his heart.
gathering the pack and ashtray in his hand, he steps back inside the apartment before closing the sliding door behind him. the sun peeking behind the clouds illuminating the outlines of their apartment with a soft glow, providing sakunosuke with a better lighting to navigate around than an hour before. he quickly slips the two items back in it’s hiding spot and makes a beeline to his bathroom.
but not before something out of place catches his eyes in the full-bodied mirror of the closet door, causing him to retrace his steps back until he sees his full reflection upon it.
a scar that can only be described as coming from a gunshot wound, not bigger than the size of a dime yet prominent on the smooth expanse of his skin, sitting on the lower right side of his chest, dangerously close to his heart. sakunosuke instinctively raise a hand to touch the uneven skin, mirror reflecting his furrowed eyebrows back at him. the scar doesn’t feel new- but not faded enough to come from his assassin days. how come he just noticed this now?
a chuckle comes out, “some might be scared to ask? or it’s just something fun to do.~” dazai rolled his eyes, “hm, i’ve only really seen people do it among friends? i suppose if someone is that in need of a kiss they’d go around asking random people.” dazai taps at oda’s nose, “what about you? anyone you wish to play the pocky game with?”
doesn’t flinch at the sudden tap upon his nose. there’s no reason to be wary when it’s dazai. “and if they ask their target of affection for a kiss under the guise of playing this... pocky game, would it help their situation?” it’s a genuine question--he simply doesn’t understand the point behind kissing someone without confessing your true feelings for them first.
“i don’t know, i don’t think i have anyone i’d like to kiss...” voice trails off upon the last sentence. “not like this, at least.”
listen we've been friends for 5 years but i dont want to hear nonsense from you that says "oh she's just saying this bc she's my friend" bc HECK NO your characterizations are always amazing and realistic because you understand the importance of flaws of one's characters and your odasaku is a gosh darn blessing and i love that you're doing justice to his character because he's a dear just like he is in the series. refute me on this stone cold fact & i will go to your house & hit you with pillows
HONEST OPINION OF MY PORTRAYAL // accepting!
RAE SDJFHKSJ shut icb it’s five years already?? i’m so glad we got to write together again hhh and i really appreciate all the brainstorming we did together bc it really helped me flesh out odasaku’s muse!! i always try to treat my muses as if they’re real humans so ig that’s how i managed to make him multidimensional like this 😔 and i might have taken inspiration from the people that i know irl HAHAHA i love your ango so much too thank you for being so patient w me through all these years ;;;; here’s to another great one!!
no , what a well-founded point !! sakunosuke much too intimate; of course oda was acceptable , anything else would be disrespectful !! blockhead , why’d you even ask ?! although spiraling into humiliation , namesake gives pause , panic easing with blessing-sought query. he’d stepped outside comfort zone , just then ? sprightly , contented smile breaks through , agreeing energetically perhaps a little too much. ‘ yes !! that is , if you’re comfortable using it. ’ hell , it’s something other than his last name. he’ll take what he’s allowed.
disposition improved , more soothed and disburdened now that first greeting’s resolved. shuffle resounds , roaming around kitchen , fetching glasses while feeling cabinet items.
‘ it’s fine , it’s fine. you worked hard today , so , if anyone deserves a rest it’s you. would you prefer a specific drink over dinner? water , tea , cocoa I think there’s wine in the pantry too ! ’ wait , should he shower ?? supposing oda favored eating alone , him lingering about wouldn’t do any good. crap. oh , but he really wants to know more about flatmate. since they’re stuck together until god knows when , doesn’t it make sense to figure out one another’s boundaries ?? or is that a pushy mindset ?? shit , how can he fix this ??
‘ ah , spicy works. the hotter the better !! that’s how it goes , right ? oh , uhm , oda ? would eating together work well for you ? there's . . . I have questions. nothing invasive just things which might make living together easier. ’
something akin to relief blooms in his chest at micah’s reply. at least he didn’t botch their conversation up too much. if anything, it feels like both of them are actually fumbling around with their words... good to know he’s not the only one trying in this companionship, he supposes. means they should be able to get along just well.
“it’s fine, really. my job here isn’t as exhausting as the one back home.” ...now that he can hear himself speaking, maybe he should’ve kept the last sentence to himself. no need to burden others with your boring stories, after all. he takes the apron off and hangs it on one of the racks by the fridge. “but tea is good. i’m not really fond of wine, to be honest.” again, shut up, oda. “...thanks.”
judging from the way things are going right now, sakunosuke would even find their teamwork almost natural. maybe they can make this a regular thing-- him cooking and micah making their drinks. “sure thing. i don’t mind.” shrugs “we’ll probably be roommates for who knows how long, it would be better if we can get to know each other better.”
“i’m not that interesting though, so i’ll probably bore you instead.”
surprisingly, yes. his voice isn’t the best but he can hold a decent note and not go off-key. he also has a good sense of rhythm. unfortunately oda doesn’t like listening to music that much, only preferring instrumentals and classical pieces while preparing for his equipment for assassinations back then. he does enjoy a few ballad and jazz songs, though.
chef-kiss to oda sakunosuke. every thread you have makes me want to bawl, I love oda so much- this man deserved better. you have a natural writing flow; it is super easy on the eyes and meshes well with all of your partners- seeing you on the dash is always a treat. even though oda is a man of few words, you have enough dialogue to work with and his actions speak far louder. the dialogie used works wonders with the remaining text and I just love it so, so much!
HONEST OPINION OF MY PORTRAYAL // accepting!
i- ksjdfhjkhsdk first i just gotta say that this is a lot for me coming from you ok… i’m still learning how to write better and messages like this keeps me going ;; i’m so glad people like my portrayal of oda! i actually thought he was going to flop since my decision to app him was made out of impulse but lo’ and behold… i’m attached to his muse already. the fact that he shows his feelings through actions rather than words makes it challenging at times but it only makes me fall harder for his muse?? i can write an essay on his character from my perspective but my favorite one is how he seem so mature at times yet sees the world with childlike curiosity… i digress SDKJFHKS thank you so much for this message!! ;w; i hope we can write more for these two in the future~
