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YOU ARE THE REASON

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Shadow of natal Venus-Lilith aspects
This post is about Black Moon Lilith and i'm mainly talking about the conjunction and harsh aspects.
I have Venus conjunct Lilith in my own chart so here's some notes based off of my personal experience and observations. Sidenote: I am not shaming anyone for having these shadow aspects as they exist within me as well. Dominant Lilith folks are meant to self integrate their shadow sides to gain better awareness and to accept them to become whole. Everything I speak about are things I currently struggle with or have previously struggled with. I want this to be nothing but a safe space for Lilith dominant folks.
Sexualization and fetishization: These people are often sexualized at a very young age and throughout their lives. People often make sexual comments or gestures towards these individuals. Venus-Lilith folks may also become fetishized. People can project their fantasies onto Venus-Lilith natives, treating them as objects, only viewing them as sexual figures rather than actual human beings. People may have hidden agendas towards the Venus-Lilith person as well usually revolving around wanting to obtain something from them such as sex. People may paint Venus-Lilith people to be provocative and "sexually suggestive" when they're simply just existing.
Society: Lilith dominant people are often shamed by others. People project things onto them and create false perceptions of them. Society will stare, create assumptions, and speak behind these people's back. One of the purposes of Lilith dominance in a chart is for the person to completely leave societal expectations to follow their own unique path and to do it fearlessly. This is a huge challenge for them as they will often feel judged, unaccepted and ridiculed by others. They may have had family members project certain ideals onto them which in return they internalized and grew up trying to fit in with everyone around them. They may have been bullied during their developmental years, or got sucked into societal standards. Whatever a Lilith dominant person does that isn't deemed acceptable by the common collective, there will be talk. They must learn to disregard this and to continue to walk their own path and life their lives to the fullest; something that's true to them. They must honor the things that make them different from others.
Self image and self esteem: When/if sexualized at a young age or shamed by others, they can easily internalize this and seek external validation which in return ruins their perceptions of themselves and their self esteem. They could have an obsession over wanting to achieve perfection committing to an ideal that often is projected onto them by another. These people must work on healing this aspect within themselves as they can easily act on self hatred or create a false image of themselves, essentially creating a mask.
Control: Venus-Lilith folks may have issues regarding control within themselves and their relationships. They may resist any control that is put onto them, but can push to control their partners. They have a difficulty with being told no which can lead to acting impulsively and seeking instant gratification to get what they want; when their eyes are set on something, they do everything to get it. They also can have a hard time with compromising with partners due to their need for control. The need for control often stems from not wanting to be taken advantage of by others, especially by their partners.
Men...: Something to be mindful of is men treat Lilith dominant people weirdly. Men who are in relationships will show interest, men will stare at you wherever you go, their eyes will dart or follow your every move, men will unsolicitedly approach you, men will try to control and dominate you, men will think you're seducing them, men will project their fantasies onto you and have no shame in making it known, and men will objectify and sexualize you. I've had men suggest sex or straight up ask me for it; men who I've barely spoken to or just met. It's disgusting.
Sexuality: I have seen this play out in mainly two different ways; one being the Venus-Lilith person refraining from indulging in their sexual desires, restraining their sexuality and sexual expression, or the Venus-Lilith person discovering their sexuality earlier on and becoming sexually liberated. The shadow sides of these two scenarios is they can either be sexually repressed, usually caused by shame or guilt for having such desires, or they can overt their sexuality in an unhealthy manner, leading to debauchery or to gain or win something from another by luring them in. These people must create a healthy relationship with their sexuality and sexual desires so it's not completely dormant and kept on the backburner, or so it doesn't completely overrule their lives.
Relationships: Oftentimes relationships are complicated for Venus-Lilith natives. They can become another person's rebound, can become a third party (or what they call the other woman/a mistress) in someone else's relationship, can enter a toxic relationship, can confuse passion, limerence, and lust for love, or can repeatedly face heartbreak and chaos in one's love life. Something i've experienced in myself and have noticed in others is that there's sometimes there's a struggle with give in take in their relationships. They may want or expect their partner to fulfill all their needs, essentially wanting more than what they can give. They can have a difficult time with feeling entirely satisfied and may unconsciously ask for more than what a person can give. They may put their needs first or focus on how a relationship will serve them rather than entering something solely for love. Venus-Lilith people may be obsessive and have attachments towards potential partners OR they attract obsessive people. Even in the beginning stage of a relationship, they may find that their partners become quickly attached and possessive over the Venus-Lilith native. Jealousy is also another thing they may face within themselves or whomever they're romantically involved with. When they are in love, they're super intense; feeling love so strongly that it consumes them. Heartbreak is incredibly painful for anybody, but people with Venus-Lilith may completely rip themselves apart if heartbroken. At the end of a painful heartbreak or lesson in love, there's always an incredible transformation these individuals go through to better understand themselves and their shadows, deepest desires and fears, and others.
“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”
— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (via amortizing)
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Shadow of natal Venus-Lilith aspects
This post is about Black Moon Lilith and i'm mainly talking about the conjunction and harsh aspects.
I have Venus conjunct Lilith in my own chart so here's some notes based off of my personal experience and observations. Sidenote: I am not shaming anyone for having these shadow aspects as they exist within me as well. Dominant Lilith folks are meant to self integrate their shadow sides to gain better awareness and to accept them to become whole. Everything I speak about are things I currently struggle with or have previously struggled with. I want this to be nothing but a safe space for Lilith dominant folks.
Sexualization and fetishization: These people are often sexualized at a very young age and throughout their lives. People often make sexual comments or gestures towards these individuals. Venus-Lilith folks may also become fetishized. People can project their fantasies onto Venus-Lilith natives, treating them as objects, only viewing them as sexual figures rather than actual human beings. People may have hidden agendas towards the Venus-Lilith person as well usually revolving around wanting to obtain something from them such as sex. People may paint Venus-Lilith people to be provocative and "sexually suggestive" when they're simply just existing.
Society: Lilith dominant people are often shamed by others. People project things onto them and create false perceptions of them. Society will stare, create assumptions, and speak behind these people's back. One of the purposes of Lilith dominance in a chart is for the person to completely leave societal expectations to follow their own unique path and to do it fearlessly. This is a huge challenge for them as they will often feel judged, unaccepted and ridiculed by others. They may have had family members project certain ideals onto them which in return they internalized and grew up trying to fit in with everyone around them. They may have been bullied during their developmental years, or got sucked into societal standards. Whatever a Lilith dominant person does that isn't deemed acceptable by the common collective, there will be talk. They must learn to disregard this and to continue to walk their own path and life their lives to the fullest; something that's true to them. They must honor the things that make them different from others.
Self image and self esteem: When/if sexualized at a young age or shamed by others, they can easily internalize this and seek external validation which in return ruins their perceptions of themselves and their self esteem. They could have an obsession over wanting to achieve perfection committing to an ideal that often is projected onto them by another. These people must work on healing this aspect within themselves as they can easily act on self hatred or create a false image of themselves, essentially creating a mask.
Control: Venus-Lilith folks may have issues regarding control within themselves and their relationships. They may resist any control that is put onto them, but can push to control their partners. They have a difficulty with being told no which can lead to acting impulsively and seeking instant gratification to get what they want; when their eyes are set on something, they do everything to get it. They also can have a hard time with compromising with partners due to their need for control. The need for control often stems from not wanting to be taken advantage of by others, especially by their partners.
Men...: Something to be mindful of is men treat Lilith dominant people weirdly. Men who are in relationships will show interest, men will stare at you wherever you go, their eyes will dart or follow your every move, men will unsolicitedly approach you, men will try to control and dominate you, men will think you're seducing them, men will project their fantasies onto you and have no shame in making it known, and men will objectify and sexualize you. I've had men suggest sex or straight up ask me for it; men who I've barely spoken to or just met. It's disgusting.
Sexuality: I have seen this play out in mainly two different ways; one being the Venus-Lilith person refraining from indulging in their sexual desires, restraining their sexuality and sexual expression, or the Venus-Lilith person discovering their sexuality earlier on and becoming sexually liberated. The shadow sides of these two scenarios is they can either be sexually repressed, usually caused by shame or guilt for having such desires, or they can overt their sexuality in an unhealthy manner, leading to debauchery or to gain or win something from another by luring them in. These people must create a healthy relationship with their sexuality and sexual desires so it's not completely dormant and kept on the backburner, or so it doesn't completely overrule their lives.
Relationships: Oftentimes relationships are complicated for Venus-Lilith natives. They can become another person's rebound, can become a third party (or what they call the other woman/a mistress) in someone else's relationship, can enter a toxic relationship, can confuse passion, limerence, and lust for love, or can repeatedly face heartbreak and chaos in one's love life. Something i've experienced in myself and have noticed in others is that there's sometimes there's a struggle with give in take in their relationships. They may want or expect their partner to fulfill all their needs, essentially wanting more than what they can give. They can have a difficult time with feeling entirely satisfied and may unconsciously ask for more than what a person can give. They may put their needs first or focus on how a relationship will serve them rather than entering something solely for love. Venus-Lilith people may be obsessive and have attachments towards potential partners OR they attract obsessive people. Even in the beginning stage of a relationship, they may find that their partners become quickly attached and possessive over the Venus-Lilith native. Jealousy is also another thing they may face within themselves or whomever they're romantically involved with. When they are in love, they're super intense; feeling love so strongly that it consumes them. Heartbreak is incredibly painful for anybody, but people with Venus-Lilith may completely rip themselves apart if heartbroken. At the end of a painful heartbreak or lesson in love, there's always an incredible transformation these individuals go through to better understand themselves and their shadows, deepest desires and fears, and others.
#astro
how to love others from abc and dmx!!!!!!
Mars opposite Uranus
You are one of the most headstrong individuals one’ll ever meet. It might not be all that obvious but you are a person who is driven to fight for your sense of independence. You’d rather walk alone than go without it. For this reason, high school might not be the best time for you. You probably didn’t understand why you had to be slapped with a label and conform to the pressures and expectations of a group. So, you most likely went without all of that altogether. You might have managed to still be very social and outgoing, even if you didn’t have a group to call your own. But, this may also be a source of resentment. The pain of feeling like an outcast can feel like another kind of defeat for you, in this formative age, and it can be what leads you to fight so hard against people’s expectations, to the point of becoming a rebel without a cause. You might constantly see yourself as locked in a battle with the rest of the world that just doesn’t understand you. You may be a part of a marginalized group – whether its women, racial minorities, or LGBT individuals – are usually the kinds of people who bravely rebel against the expectations of that group. You don’t like to conform to stereotypes. In fact, stereotypes make you angry, so you typically feel the desire to go the total opposite way of how people expect you to behave because you’re a woman or black or gay or whatever else. And it usually doesn’t matter if you receive disapproval or a lack of acceptance from other people for your behavior. You have the balls to go without a certain amount of approval, at least to everyone’s face. Even if people’s judgments actually do bother you, you’re very good at keeping up a brave, I-don’t-care attitude and marching on. Concepts of social justice, equality and change attract you, and this can draw you into relationships with revolutionary or reactionary political groups. You see it as your mission to help promote more tolerance and togetherness in the world. Prejudice is the true enemy for you but you combat such prejudice by being a true example of accepting others, no matter how different they are from you. You know how to be the change you want to see in the world, as the saying goes. You can really lose it over acts of discrimination and get into heated arguments over it. Because of your powerful desire for personal freedom, you’re not going to do well in the 9 to 5 job market for very long. It’s all too common for you to not last long at these kinds of gigs, often abruptly quitting to pursue a path that’s much more interesting and liberating. Again, this might easily make you misunderstood, as people can wonder just why you left that seemingly great opportunity to do whatever you’re doing now. But, you have the ability to tune all of that noise out and to immerse yourself in your passion of choice. You expresses your passion by rebelling. No one is going to change your mind about your life direction of choice. And it often ends up turning into something even greater, proving your genius all along and silencing the doubters. Your temper can be distinctly unpredictable. People might never be able to expect what could set you off. You often have tempers that are all over the place, making you quite reactionary and explosive. But, your temper might also be counterintuitive. You might be cool as a cucumber in situations where rage is normally expected and then totally lose it in circumstances where others wouldn’t have such a reaction. Anything goes really. The attitude that anything goes can be transferred into the bedroom. So, there’s definitely a need to experiment. You are prone to expressing your sexuality with a real sense of kink. Even if you don’t do it yourself, if you have a more cautious way of things, you can still be totally fascinated by this kinkiness. In any case, sex cannot be bland and routine for you. You’ll instead enjoy doing it in all different places and in all different kinds of ways. Basically, you’re the classic tri-sexual, willing to try anything once. This can often include sampling both sexes, just for the sake of experience. Sex needs to feel like an endless experiment for you to be satisfied. Hopefully, the other person is eager to engage because your love of freedom can make you look for it elsewhere when it gets dull. You can be very temperamental, but you tend to get over things quickly. You might often be hasty, impatient, and impulsive. Intensely restless, dynamic, and energetic, you are always on the go. When you want something, you want it NOW, and you act decisively, impulsively, sometimes hastily and prematurely. Impatient, high-strung, and often nervous and tense, you find it difficult to slow down, pace yourself, or relax. You fight to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them. You are fiercely individualistic and independent, self-willed and intolerant of restraints and restrictions imposed by others. You have a reckless disregard for authority and can be extremely rebellious or non-conforming. You want to show them that they don’t control you and that they can’t tell you what to do. Hypocrisy from ‘leaders’ especially upsets you, and you can be scathing in denouncing it. In fact, you probably have developed a fairly demanding set of personal principles and ideals from which you perceive the world. There is a stimulation for you in conflict; and whilst it may not always be openly displayed, you enjoy competition and intend to win and dominate. Cooperating with others is not your strong point. You are often brutally frank and abrupt with people, and can be quite impersonal when you are pursuing a desired goal. You may have an explosive temper when your will is blocked. You have a superabundance of energy and need much personal freedom to do things in your own style and at your own pace.
Mars opposite Neptune
You have difficulty trusting in your ability to go after things that you want in a direct manner. It may also be that you have difficulty pinpointing what it is that you want, or that part of you doesn’t feel you deserve it due to a basic lack of self-confidence. You may initially make up for low self-confidence by showing a brave and assertive exterior, but this bravado doesn’t always seem natural and does not sit well with other people. You fear rejection as well as criticism, and often use roundabout means to go after what you want. Fueled with a powerful imagination, you may chase after the impossible or alternatively find yourself unable to take action due to the fears and fantasies strongly played out in your imagination. It is hard to pinpoint what action to take when doubts cloud the real picture. There can be a tendency to lose oneself in drink, drugs or general escapist behaviors that masks the real reasons why you cannot find the courage to move forward. It is important to pinpoint your true desires and aspire to a higher vision of what is possible. You may feel like going for your goals is an impossible dream and become apathetic in the face of perceived competition. You may become a drifter or a charlatan, always looking for the easy way out. You may even be a martyr or a victim of the actions of another, you may give up in the face of adversity. And at its worst, you may give up on life altogether. Sex becomes a means of transcendence for you, which can bring you to an intense level of ecstasy. The after-feeling of being deeply at peace that follows sex runs deeper for you. It really does bring you spiritual clarity. You deal with your sexual partners in very humane, compassionate ways. You are not fond of sadomasochistic dynamics in the bedroom. Even things like painful biting and too much roughness (being given or received) will really turn you off. You are a very sensitive partner, with the ability to be so attuned to your partner’s sexual needs that it’s like the line between you two disappears. Your sexual fantasies are very vivid and overwhelming, as well, and sometimes might be significantly more fulfilling for you than the real thing. It might not be the sex itself that turns you on but the sheer fantasy of the sex. Sexual experimentation is likely, as you are forever addicted to sensuality and unusual or perhaps even what many would consider perverted sexual scenarios. However, your sensual appetite might be much like a bottomless pit, and you could find yourself forever in a state of wanting more, tiring of regular sexual scenarios quickly, and endlessly searching for the next sensation. If an addiction to fantasy is present, you can find yourself constantly chasing a new and more complicated fantasy. It is only when you get in touch with your heart and discover your true desires that you realize that sensations are merely sensations – not deeply satisfying or fulfilling. Fears of sexual inadequacy can be great for you, and you may either deny yourself as a result, or overcompensate, seeking out experiences in which you are pretty much assured positive feedback. Although you can be very creative at keeping your motives and personal agenda hidden, you might eventually become resentful if you feel the need to resort to sneakiness in order to get what you want out of life. It’s not that you don’t get angry or show that anger. However, you will give in to another’s desires more often than not, yet become resentful of that person who seems to have control over you. You may give up your power to a partner, for example, often taking the role as the one who gives in or gives up things in order to make the other happy. However, resentment for this builds, and you are more likely to feel stepped upon, and to retaliate in covert ways. If you do feel resentment for giving up your power to someone else, learn to avoid giving it up unless you truly understand that you are doing it for yourself, and not for someone else. Resentments have a way of building and distorting themselves into ugly matter if you don’t deal with them properly and directly. You are often passive-aggressive in your approach to others, and this can cause a lot of problems in your life. You can find the appropriate inner strength and courage through more subtle or creative ways. Dance, poetry and music will meet your need for creative self-expression. Anger especially needs to be dealt with or danced off otherwise it can turn inwards and poison the system. Learning to assert oneself gently can go a long way to discovering the courage to deal with difficult situations. You need to be comfortable with, and know your own limits. This applies to your level of competitiveness and passionate desires. You are a more sensitive and caring person than most. It is important not to feel you have to live up to the stereotypical image of a strong man or sexy woman. You are attractive in more subtle and mysterious ways, but just as attractive as anyone else.
I torture myself thinking about you leaving me. Cheating. Breaking my spirit. Why am I here then?